i never dance in public

list of all the amazing shit abt yesterdays pride day;

- so many gender noncomforming gay people like so so many of them so many butches and fem gay guys it was so beautiful to see

- so many trans and nb people it was so good i never get to be around non cis ppl so it was refreshing honestly

- being able to say which pronouns i use OUT LOUD 

- being able to intreoduce myself as dali instead of my birth name

- being able 2 talk about loving girls and being a butch lesbian out loud

-  being able 2 say im nb out loud

- not to be shallow but so many hot girls like im sweating

- SOME RANDOM GAY GUY sharing a joint with me (true gay lesbian solidarity!!!!!!) and obvs i shared my drink with him

- me somehow being able 2 be a person again and just talk 2 people without dying?

- DANCING! i never dance in public bc im self conscious but i didnt give a shit and i danced all day bless.

- just generally bonding with other people over being a Gay

- literally crying of happiness

Imagine Sebastian Smythe fell in love with you even though he did not plan something like this to happen.

 

Word count: 1088 (A second part will follow I just thought it would be too much in the end)

 

First I have to admit that I am not much of a Glee Fan and just watched the episodes with Grant in it, so this is not a text which is based on the series. Hope you like it anyways.

He smirked in your direction. You blushed. Did he meant you? Probably not. Why would he?

“Oh my gosh, don’t say you are looking at HIM! “ Your best friend pointed in his direction. You did not know his name. It was actually the first time you have seen him, like ever. But you just could not deny that he was incredibly good looking, especially with his smirk on his lips.

“What? At him? Uh … no! Why? What’s wrong with HIM?!” You tried to imitate how she said “HIM” with an exclamation of disgust.

“Everything is wrong with him! He is just a sick asshole. This is SEBASTIAN SMYTHE the boy I told you about! I mean yeah sure he is good looking but … oh well. “

She sighed.

“Yeah he is …” You said while daydreaming. Out of the tail of your eyes you could see that Lisa was looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “Uh I mean … Not THAT good. You know just … uh okay. He looks okay. “

You got red. This was so awkward. Especially because you actually knew him. Sebastian Smythe …

Lisa said so many things about him. Negative things. You never really heard something positive from her, about him. And she never mentioned that he was looking THAT good. But well …

You tried to remind what Lisa said about him in the past. That he thought he would be better than anyone else. He was an asshole because he treated everyone like shit, especially his girlfriends. Lisa never really knew one of them but she knew that he had lots of girls who were falling for him. But they often broke up out of a sudden. Lisa thought that this was always happening because he just wanted to have his “fun” and when he had enough he would leave the girl. This really sounded like an asshole but you could not deny that you could understand why girls were and still are falling for him. And the second thing you could not deny was that you thought that Lisa always sounded a bit jealous behind her disgust.

“Where did you first get to know him? I forgot.”

“The first time ever was at my first talent show. You know the one where he beat me? I am still not over this! “

Lisa got a mad voice when she thought about it. “But today I will be the one who will beat him!” At least she sounded motivated. Lisa was a very good singer and dancer. She was really talented and did those kind of shows ever since she was little. She always won but when she was around 15 years old, Sebastian showed up and won instead of her. That was the first time she ever lost and she is still mad. You could see it in her eyes how she looked at him, with narrow and mad eyes.

“Yeah I remember you told me that! And after a month we met and became friends!”

“Okay will you wait here? I will get ready now.” She said and left you. Currently you both were at another talent show, it was the final and ever since you two became friends it got kind of a tradition that you go with her to every show. You always go backstage even though you are not allowed to.

(It was the first time after three years that Sebastian was going to such a talent show. That is the reason why (Y/N) and Sebastian never met before. But Lisa is seeing him regularly because a friend of her is going to the same school. )

You took your headphones out of your bag put them in your phone and listened to your favourite songs while studying a bit for school. Your finals were right in front of you and you did not want to fail them, but also you did not want to be a “bad” friend and break your traditions. Especially not today when Lisa will face her “worst enemy”. You would want her to do the same thing for you, so you were always studying as much as you could while waiting till the show would start. And now you had like two hours left. During that time Lisa would get dressed and would get her make-up and hair done and probably would train a bit.

Suddenly you felt someone touching your shoulder, you thought it would be Lisa so you just made a gesture to show her that she should not disturb you while studying. Especially because you were studying chemistry which sucked.

“Chemistry huh? “ It was the voice of a boy. You pulled your headphones out of your ears and looked behind you. Sebastian.

“Uh yes …” You tried to sound as annoyed as you could but he looked really good. Like SOOOOO good. And he was so close to you as he looked into your book.

“Do you need help? Coincidental I am good at it. “ He smirked. You could not deny that you might needed some help, but not from HIM.

“No thanks. I can handle that on my own. “

“So why are you here? What will you sing?”

You could not help it and started laughing. You and singing? Not a good combination! But you had to admit that you were a really good dancer actually. But nobody knew that, because you never danced in public.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, but I am not performing. “

“But you know that you are not allowed to stay here when you are not performing!”

“Yeah I know … “ That did not look good for you … What if he told the security? Lisa once told me that a girl got kicked out because she was backstage without being allowed to. And it would break Lisa’s heart If you could not be here for her today.

“So are you gonna tell someone?” You sound surprisingly cool and uninterested.

“No, I won’t if you do me favor.”

“Which favor?”

“Go on a date with me!” And then he did his smirk again.

anonymous asked:

You look so confident when you dance !! I bet it took a bunch of courage to go up there and do that o.o

Oh my god I was horrified! I get super bad stage fright. Any time I’ve been in a play I have nightmares for like a week before it opens about forgetting my lines or not being prepared. I’m so proud of myself for performing something unplanned in front of people. Like holy shit, I never do unchoreographed dancing in public. I don’t even go into dance circles at school dances. That took just about all the courage I had and I’m so happy I did it!

“I can’t make it tonight. I’ll write you as soon as I manage to look at my calendar.”

She was my first love. My first girlfriend.
My first actual kiss.
We became a couple in 2011. I was 15.
She threated me pretty bad during our time but I blamed it on her school related stress.
I loved her more than anything, did everything for her.
I was shy but danced in public, had a scene in a movie with her, ate dinner with her parents regularly, everything she wanted because I loved her so much.
She liked to talk, I liked to listen.
One day she wrote me a sms saying “Can you come over later today? We need to talk”
Me, being kind of naiv I guess, didn’t expect this.
I went to her place, she left me.
The day before, she wrote that she loves me, can’t wait to see me again.
It was quite quick but I sat there saying nothing for about 30minutes.
I think I left a part of me with her that day.
I didn’t went to school the next day. Told my mom that I was feeling sick, stole a bottle of my parents wine from the basement and locked myself in the room all day.
A week after that my 2 best friends went to a party at her place.
They didn’t understand why it hurt me.
My parents asked about her ever other day even tho I told them she broke up with me.
It hurt so much every time they mentioned her. They both didn’t stop even after I told them this hurt me.
A few months after she broke up and my parents would still ask me about her. They then told me she was now in love with a cousin of mine. Of all the people there are, it had to be my fucking cousin.
A year after that she contacted me on facebook, wishing me a happy belated birthday.
I deleted her on facebook because I developed the habit of clicking on her profile a lot.
I couldnt take that anymore.
When I wrote her back I told her we couldnt be friends. By her few words I knew she didn’t even understand what she did to me.
Everytime she contacted me my whole body quivered heavily.
I thought about her every single day for about 3 years.
I seriously thought about ending my life every other day. I researched painless ways of ending my life. Still thinking about that every now and then.
She contacted me again a year after that. She asked If I wanted to meet and talk about it.
It seemed like the only chance for me feeling better- i said yes. She told me she would be back in my country in like 2 months. She didn’t contact me when that time passed by.
So I did.
I felt worse than before.
We had some completely useless conversation that ended up with me feeling even worse and her not caring a single bit.
Some time after that she asked If I’m free in the comming days.
Without thinking about it too much I told her the days that I was free.
She then told me “I can’t make it tonight. I’ll write you as soon as I manage to look at my calendar.”
That was one year ago. Never wrote me again.
How many times can you stab a bleeding person?
Writing this I’m shaking. I’m actually tearing up for the first time In years because I saw her today. She didn’t show a single emotion.
I’m shy again.
I never danced in public again.
I can’t stand eating dinner with the parents of my girlfriend of almost 3 years now.
Why do I deserve this.
I pray she’ll live a great life and that, from this day on, I never think about her ever again.
If you ever read this Anne:
I don’t deserve this. I swear I don’t.