i needed something to calm my nerves :'i

Bad hookup survival guide

About a week ago I hooked up with someone and I felt absolutely disgusted, used, disappointed, and dirty because I wasnt comftorable, pleased, or happy with the situation and felt scared to say no so for personal reasons and recent experiences, I decided to share a personal lil guide I made that i follow after a really bad hook up.
*Reminder - this is a PERSONAL guide. What works for me may not work for you. Take what you need and leave the rest
1- Deep throating a dirty dick made me appreciate my tooth brush 10x more. I start off by brushing my teeth and flossing, followed by mouth wash. After this i’ll pour myself something to drink to calm my nerves. I recommend tea even tho i’m pouring myself a shot or 5 of vodka.

2- I’ll pick out clean and comftorable underwear, a clean bra, and a big T-shirt to change into for after my bath.

3- I’ll run my bath with warm water and dump ½ a cup of apple cider vinegar in with bath salts. I usually use lavender or eucalyptus. You best believe i’m dumping a shit load of body wash in there too, everyone knows a bubble bath is therapy.

4- I massage a deep conditioner into my scalp because that mofo yanked the shit out of my hair a little too hard and now my heads a little sore and my hairs a little knotted.

5- I scoop a generous amount of scrub and work it onto my legs, arms, belly, etc and rinse it off. At this point i’ll turn on my shower head then dose my loofah with body wash and scrub the shit out of my skin. Maybe a little too rough but it gives me the illusion that i’m washing away what the person I hooked up with did.

6- At this point I usually sit in the water to soak for a bit longer or i’ll rinse off and drain the tub and get out. I dry off and cover my body in lotion and spritz a comforting scent on (jasmine, lavender, vanilla) to get the smell of him off me.

7- after this I know my pussy is hurtin. When a guy cant get you wet and rips your dry pussy up it can take a toll on you and your pussy’s emotional health. I’ll take a wet warm wash cloth (please no soap) and gently press it on my labia for any swelling. Then i’ll rub on some coconut oil and put on my panties. No masturbating, let her chill for a bit and recover

8- ok so now that ive done all this i’ll put on my bra and Tshirt and get into bed. I like to write how i’m feeling or honestly just bawl my eyes out and remind myself of these 5 things-
~Who I sleep with doesnt define me
~How many people Ive slept with doesnt define me
~What I do in bed doesnt define me
~I am not less of a person
~I will be okay. My body will be okay. My heart will be okay.
This was kind of a messy little list I put together. Ive been meaning to write this and once I did I cant even put all my thoughts and routines into something that makes sense. But bad hook ups can really take a toll on you. They take a toll on me. And I want to give some kind of supports to others who find themselves in the same situation. Its a kind of misunderstood thing where you feel awful because you agreed to what you were doing but you still feel violated.

What Do You Get for Pretending the Danger’s Not Real? / Kai Anderson

Originally posted by wolfangkala

A/N: Based off this request from anon: “Kai making the reader do the pinky thing and tell him about their dirtiest, most fucked up sexual fantasy? Then him making that a reality when they least expect it?”

My first request :’) Might come out with a part 2 to this if you guys want that. As always, please let me know what you think!

I’d also like to say that man-bun Kai does things to me that I’d never expect a man bun guy to be capable of.

Warnings: Smut, BDSM themes, mention of mental illness, strong language… Basically what you’d expect from Kai.

Keep reading


Black Hat has been sitting at his desk for hours, filling out paperwork and discussing business with clients. It was almost 3am, and he needed a break. He stood up and stretched, feeling a few joints pop and sighed in relief. Pushing in his chair he decided to tour his grand home and admire the art along the walls. The halls were quiet and dark, it was soothing to him. Walking past Dementia’s room he could hear soft snoring, but Flug’s room was quiet. He cracked open the door to find the room empty. ‘That fool is still in the lab!’ He thought to himself before storming off.

The doors to the lab swung open and Black Hat stood there, furious. Flug jumped up and squeaked in alarm, not expecting his boss to be up at this hour. “Uh, Jefectio! W-what are y-you doing up this early?” Flug asked, his body trembling in fear. “I should be asking you the same thing, Flug. You humans need sleep in order to function, get to bed, NOW!” Flug gulped, “I-I can’t, sir…” Black Hat stomped over to his desk and slammed his hand onto it, leaning forward and grabbing Flug by the shirt. “What do you mean you can’t?” “W-well, I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t, so I came back to finish the device you wanted, a-and-” He pauses, and Black Hat looks at the desk to see the device fully finished, and a new project started. “Flug, you finished it already, you idiot! Why aren’t you in your bed!?” He growls and tightens his grip. “Oh, well, I still couldn’t relax, s-so I started something simple to try to calm my nerves…” Black Hat loosens his grip. Flug needed to relax. He let’s Flug go and stands up straight.

“Yes, Jefe?”
“Come with me.”

Black Hat leaves the lab and walks down the hall, Flug following close behind him. They turn a few halls before Flug realizes where they were headed. He immediately gets nervous, certain thoughts running through his head. Black Hat stands in front of two massive doors, opening them to reveal his own bedroom. Flug had never seen his bedroom before, and he certainly hadn’t seen a bedroom so big. There were large decorated drapes covering the windows, slightly drawn to let in the moonlight. The bed itself was gigantic, especially considering the fact that Black Hat didn’t need to sleep. The whole room had a Gothic feel to it, covered in couches, rugs and candles.

“Come along, Flug, don’t just stand there.” Flug snapped out of his daze to see Black Hat already in the room, sitting in a chair next to the bed. He sheepishly shuffled in, the door slamming shut behind him. There was no turning back at this point.

Now there he was, standing in his boss’s bedroom, at night, with the only light source being the moonlight creeping in from the windows. Black Hat gestured to the bed and Flug swallowed hard. His mind was racing, tons of thoughts going through his head at once, making him dizzy. He hesitantly obeyed, walking to the large bed and sitting down at the edge. Black Hat groaned, standing up and shoving Flug onto the bed before putting the blanket over him.

“Jefe? What are you doing?”
“You are going to sleep, Flug, that is an order.”

Flug shifted in the bed, slightly uncomfortable with everything going on. After realizing the reason he was brought here he sighed in relief, knowing Black Hat just wanted him to sleep. The bed felt even bigger than it looked, as he was laying there all alone.


Black Hat stood at the foot at the bed, watching him.

“Yes, Flug?”

“I-I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep…”
“And why is that?”

Black Hat growled slightly, and Flug curled up into a ball under the blanket, whimpering to himself. Black Hat sighed, boy did he look pathetic. Flug looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed.

“N-no reason…”

Flug could feel Black Hat’s eyes burning into him, and he could feel Black Hat silently judging him. He felt helpless and vulnerable.

Black Hat realized what Flug wanted and mentally gagged, but if it would make Flug sleep… it might not be so bad. He sat on the edge of the bed before scooting over and sneaking under the blanket, laying behind Flug, spooning him. He felt a jolt go through Flug’s body and heard a yelp of suprise.

“Sir?! What are you doing?!”

Black Hat didn’t answer, burying his face into Flug’s shoulder and letting out a huff. He could feel that Flug was very tense, but knew that by human nature he’d eventually relax and become calm. Flug felt warm, and it felt… nice? Pulling the man closer he wrapped his arms around Flug’s waist, hooking their legs together.

Flug could feel his cool breath on his neck, and he was surprised at how cold his boss felt. He was very confused, but enjoyed having someone so close, despite the fact that it was some satanic being of a species he probably wouldn’t even be able to comprehend.

After laying there for a few minutes Flug relaxed, letting his muscles go to jelly and sinking into the bed. He felt very drowsy and his eyelids grew heavy. Letting out a sigh, he began to drift off, letting sleep overtake his mind.

Black Hat felt Flug’s breathing slow, and knew he had fallen asleep. He smiled to himself triumphantly, before realizing he would have to leave. He absolutely hated to admit it, but he… enjoys the cuddling. His neck snapped back and he shook his head, trying to clear his mind of such thought. ‘No! You are Black Hat! You can’t enjoy something as feeble as cuddling. That’s too… cute. It would absolutely ruin your image!’ He thought to himself angrily, unknowing to himself he had pulled Flug even closer. Looking down at Flug’s sleeping form he swore at himself; he shouldn’t find something this cute. Especially if that something is a human.

With a sigh he rested his chin on Flug’s shoulder, eyeing him lazily. His kind didn’t need sleep, but was still capable of it. He’d never wanted to do it until now. With a groan he decided his work could wait till morning and laid his head on the pillow, closing his one good eye. He let himself relax and he drifted off to sleep, still holding on to Flug’s form.

Next: https://villainous-epiphany.tumblr.com/post/163921736421/breakfast

Pairing: Jax Teller x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: You’ve been working at the shop for a while now, and have formed a crush on Jax and he has one on you, but you don’t know. You get jealous when he starts to flirt with a Crow Eater at a party and you confront him about it, but spill your feelings for him. 

I’ve Always Loved You

“Hey (Y/N), the boys are throwing a party tonight. Are you going?” Cherry swirled on the spinny chair behind the office desk. I could hear the bubble gum popping between her teeth. I look up to see her with a smirk playing at her lips. I have been working at the club for a couple months now, after Gemma hired me. Everyone has been really welcoming and I love my job. There is one problem though, I have a huge crush on the VP of the Sons of Anarchy. He’s way out of my league and will never have feelings for me, but a girl can dream.

“I don’t know? I was just thinking about staying in tonight.” I look back down at the paper work and I hear her chuckle.

“Come on, Jax is gonna be there. I know you want to see him.” Cherry’s heels clicked across the cemet and I chewed on my lip.

“I don’t kn-”

“Just say yes! Don’t be a prude. Also, this might be your only chance to get close to Jax.” She nudged me with her elbow and I giggled. Cherry was my best friend, and the only one who knew about my feelings for Jax. I helped him through a lot when it came to Abel and Wendy. He talked to me about the club, and I felt like he really trusted me. He was such a good friend. He helped me with a lot of my problems as well.

“Fine! I’ll go!”

“Where are you going?” I hear a familiar deep voice and butterflies errupt in my stomach. I spin around to see the blonde haired, buff, man in front of me. Jax Teller.

Keep reading

Ice Breath (M)

So this is my first (Hobi) fic. I hope everyone enjoys. If this gets some attention I might make a part 2.

Pairing: College!Hoseok X Reader

Warning: Smut, slight fluff, drunk members, alcohol, house party.

Summary: Hoseok invites you over to his house for his birthday party before he leaves for Korea

Originally posted by ilsangrape

Do you ever think about how you’re feeling during certain times of the day? When you’re in the middle of doing something important, do you ever think if it’s making you happy? Or sad? Or some weird cocktail of emotions? The average person probably doesn’t, which is okay. Most things come automatically and without emotion. You don’t think about how your hands write a sentence when it’s not meant to mean anything. But there are some things, even people, that bring meaning to the simplest movements in life.

You typed out the coupon into the old fashioned cash register. It muttered out the receipt and you ripped it off the printer and handed it to the customer. Wishing them a good night you turned to finish up your closing job. You mindlessly and almost robotically cleaned. The clock ticked slower with every movement.

You sighed as you heard the door open. You went to straighten yourself up to tell this customer that you were closing soon. But what you saw brightened up your routine just a little bit. It was Hoseok, from your English class. You and Hoseok had known each other for several months now, but he had slowly become the highlight of your day. You’d forget that strange feeling when Hoseok would smile at you walking through the door.

“What are you doing here? We’re gonna close soon.” you questioned.

He sighed, bent over and out of breath, “Shit, yeah, I Know. Jin asked me to pick up some cups and some snacks.”

He straightened himself and smiled at you, “He’s throwing a party right now. I’m glad I got here in time. How do you run out of cups and chips when you know you’re going to throw a party?”

“Wrong person to ask.” You chuckled.  "I don’t party. You better hurry, you have two minutes until close.“

You pointed to the clock. 9:58pm. As quickly as he saw the time he bolted back into the aisles and frantically grabbed whatever he could and sprinted back to your counter. He landed in front of you with a sharp skkrt and dropped the party supplies in front of you. He chuckled, running his hand through his dark orange hair.

“So what’s the celebration?” you questioned.

Hoseok smiled, looking out the window and back to you. “It’s my birthday, actually.”

“And Jin is sending you to the store? He couldn’t have sent anyone else?” You laughed, shoving the several bags of chips into a plastic bag.

“Yeah I was the only person not doing anything. I don’t mind. Feels pretty good to get out of there and talk to a sober person for a couple minutes.”

You continued to close the register while listening to him. You looked back through the aisles, your coworkers had already closed up. You hoped to god that there wasn’t anyone else in the store, as you just wanted to go home and sleep.

Hoseok interrupted your thoughts, “You aren’t busy are you? I mean, ah, after you finish closing.”

You turned back up to him, pushing your arms through your coat. “No, but it is pretty late. Why? Do you want me to go back with you?”

“I, uh, I mean…yeah!! I mean if you want to. There’s cake.” He rubbed the back of his head, looking back up to you.

“I dunno Hoseok, it’s pretty late.”

“Oh c'mon it’s a Friday night…and it’s my birthday. Please?” He looked up to you with his sunshine filled smile, pleading for a response.

You rolled your eyes. Why not? Its not like you had anything else better to do. Although Netflix and tea sounded so much more comforting, you hadn’t gone to an actual party in ages. You didn’t like partying, but you didn’t hate it. You just hated the aftermath. Watching people throw up the contents of the night didn’t really sit well with you. You smirked at Hoseok’s smiling face.

“Alright fine, but do you mind driving me back to my place first to change? This isn’t exactly party attire.” You looked down at your navy blue store polo.

“Absolutely. C'mon.”

These were the moments that filled your life with meaning.


You unlocked your apartment door and dropped you purse and jacket at the door. Hoseok followed, stopping just in front of the door.

“Gimme like five minutes.” you said, heading straight to your bedroom.

You looked through your closet, picking up a knitted burgundy sweater-dress and throwing it over your body. You brushed through you hair and applied some extra mascara. Coming back out, you slipped on your knee high leather boots, almost tripping.

Hoseok giggled softly, “You look great..”

“Yeah, sure. Is it actually your birthday tonight?”

“Nah its actually the 18th. I’m just leaving before then so the boys wanted to see me before I’m off. It’s also a going away party of sorts.”

Stepping past him and giving him a strange look. You opened the door and held it open for him to step out. Locking it, you looked up at him, “Where are you off to in the middle of February?”

He chuckled. “I’m visiting Korea for a few weeks. I have some family back there that want to see me for my birthday.”

“You should like, totally bring me back a souvenir.” you said slyly.

He chuckled. “I’ll take note.”

You two walked from your front door and he opened the door to his car for you. The drive was quiet and peaceful, yet some twang of nervousness sat in your stomach. You were about to party with Hoseok. What does that even mean??

Hoseok turned to you, stopping the car in front of the house. “You aren’t nervous are you?”

Before you had the chance to say anything, Hoseok pulled you close, his hand behind your neck. He was millimeters away from you. You held your breath as you looked up to him.

“Don’t be. I’ll be with you the whole time. I dragged you into this, just let me know if you want to leave.”

Hoseok released you and you coughed out your breath. As you got out of the car, Hoseok grabbed your hand and walked you into the house. It was filled with smoke and the smell of alcohol. Smooth RnB played throughout the house. Hoseok turned to look at you swiftly while pulling you through the house. The two of you maneuvered through the crowd of people and ended up in the kitchen.

Hoseok began to prepare his own drink while Jungkook and Jimin waltzed through the maze of people up to Hoseok.  They both grabbed each shoulder, startling him.

“H-Hey guys!! I got more cups.” Hoseok said to the two other boys, both of which were also in your English class.

“Thanks man, my cup’s looking pretty beat up. Remind me not to dance and drink again.” Jungkook stated. The three laughed at his pitiful cup.

The three turned back to you. “Can I make you anything, Y/N?”

“I’ll just take whatever you’re having, Hoseok” you replied. You normally didn’t drink, but you need a little something to calm your nerves. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up dancing with Hoseok to some raunchy song.

After concocting some vodka drink, Hoseok hooked his arm around your waist and walked you to the living room. He sat you next to the fireplace, Jimin an Jungkook following you. Three others were sitting around the room, all of which you hadn’t recognized.

You looked back at Hoseok, one arm around you, the other holing his red solo cup mixer. Where did he get this confidence? Why weren’t you stopping this? Somehow, it felt comfortable.

Hoseok must have sensed your confusion. Making his signature surprised face, he realized he needed to introduce you. “Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s in my English class..”

A sandy haired boy piped up almost immediately, speaking in a slurred and lazy tone.

“THE Y/N? The English Y/N?? This is her? Man Hobi you werent kidding.” He sat back, smugging.

“Yoongi…” Hoseok sighed.

“Wait..” you said, looking up at Hoseok, “You talk about me?”

“I can see why. She really is as cute as you say she is.” another said, with a deeper, honey-like voice.

You smirked. Hoseok liked you, no wonder he asked you to come tonight. You took a sip, sinking back into Hoseok’s arm around you. He laughed nervously, also taking a sip of his drink.

“I guess I should introduce them as well, since they all know you already. That’s Yoongi. That’s Taehyung. And that’s Namjoon.”

You waved at the three, finishing your drink. You sat the empty cup next to you, finding how the alcohol had relaxed you enough to feel comfortable in Hoseok’s embrace. You laid your head back on his arm behind you, glancing at the fireplace. The boys were lost in their conversation as you lost yourself in the flames. You could hear the muffled bounce of the music throughout the house. It was slow and rhythmic. These moments, you remembered. Comfortable and relaxing. Forgetting the world around you. Remembering the feeling.

Until Hoseok brought you back.

He moved his arm from your back to your thigh. “Can I get you another drink? I’m heading back to get another.”

“Oh, sure.” you said standing and fixing your dress.

The other boys eyed Hoseok as he led you through the cloud of drunks. He looked back at you, putting a finger over his lips. You followed him through the house and into the kitchen. You could hear the music much more clearly now. Hoseok began making his drink and turned around while mixing it with is finger. Slowly and to the beat, he began to dance-walk over to you. It was meant to be sexy but you giggled as he came towards you. Hoseok was caught in your laughter and giggled while he wrapped his free hand around your waist.

“C'mon, tell me that wasn’t sexy Y/N.” He teased.

You laughed, looking up at his brown eyes. Suddenly you felt yourself pulling towards him. Hoseok sat his drink down and placed his hand on the wall behind you. Leaning in, Hoseok gently kissed you. His lips were cold from the cold outside. Still, he tasted of vodka and honey. Whatever he was drinking, he mixed it well.

“I guess you found out about my little secret.” Hoseok said. You could still hear the beat of the music, so you put your arms around his shoulders and began to sway your head to the music.

“I’ll admit, I get butterflies before walking into class.” You admitted. “It’s hard not to when you have someone like you. You emit something between hope and happiness that I cant get enough of.”

He smirked. “You wanna get away from all these people?” he asked, moving his hand to your cheek.

You nodded and he grabbed your wrist.  He walked you through the crowd of drunks and up the stairs. You found yourselves in his bedroom. He swayed with you to the music playing downstairs. He leaned into kiss you again. His lips felt smooth, and warmer this time. Almost like you had sparked some fire inside him. His warmth pulled you closer into him as you continued to kiss him. Hoseok began to part your lips with his, lapping at you bottom lip.

You breathed out his name as your kiss deepened. Hoseok, with his strong arms embracing you further, picked you up and walked you to the bed. He laid you back onto the bed, breaking the kiss to look at you.

“Y/N…This is okay, right? I won’t go any further if you don’t want me to.” he asked with concern.

You shook your head, grabbing his face to kiss him again. This time you rolled your body into him, making him groan into the kiss.

You whispered to him, “Hoseok, I want you so much right now.”

Hoseok moved his hands to slide your dress off of your body and when he saw you in your black lace, he was taken to another land. In the low street lights coming through the window, you looked downright sexy. His lips attached to your collarbone and his ice cold hands roamed  your body. Smiling into your moan, you began to pull his shirt off, and he finished the job by pulling it over his shoulders. Even in the middle of the winter, Hoseok’s skin was a rich amber.

As Hoseok stood over you, you sat up and nipped at his neck. He wrapped his hands around your ass and lifted you so he could climb onto the bed with you. He slipped a finger around your underwear’s waistband and pulled it off. He began to trail kisses down your torso, down between your legs. He was kissing your inner thigh when he glared up at you.

“Tell me what you want, Y/N…” He whispered between kisses.

You moaned at the sight. All you wanted was for him to do was use his tongue on you.

You reached down, lacing your fingers in his hair, saying “Please.. eat me out..”

His lips got closer to your core and you could feel his icy breath, making you shiver. Smirking, he licked one long stripe up your core. You cursed at him, shivering again. This time it was from the pleasure. He continued to tongue your core slowly. He was licking long and slow stripes up you, driving you crazy. Hoseok knew exactly how to take you to a new world. Softly, he began to suck on your clit. At this point you were already seeing stars. Bringing you over the edge, Hoseok slipped two fingers in you. You came all over his lips and fingers, earning yourself a moan from him.  

You felt him release himself from you. Looking up, you saw Hoseok working on his belt buckle and removing his pants. His face was still shining from your wetness. He raised an eyebrow at you, silently questioning if you were ready for what was next. He leaned over you, placing himself at your entrance. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders.

“Hoseok…” you gasped. He pushed into you, waiting for you say something. Your silence allowed him to thrust into you once again, and then continuously. He felt so good inside you, so warm and filling. Hoseok halfway took your bra off and kneaded your breast. He was sucking red marks into your neck, moaning your name and curses and half-strung sentences.

Gasping for more, you moaned Hoseok’s name over and over again. You could feel him hitting your g spot with every thrust. You felt your heat coming, neither of you feeling any bit of cold now. The heat pulsed and overcame you in your high. Slewing out curses and remnants of Hoseok’s name, you began to notice that he was also chasing his heated high. He was grunting as he rocked the bed so hard it was hitting the wall. You two weren’t exactly quite, and now the bed hitting the wall must have brought some attention to your room. You heard a soft knock on the door.

“Give us a minute!” Hoseok yelled between grunts.

Hoseok immediately began to thrust faster and sloppier. And then you felt him release into you. Slumping over your body, Hoseok worked to catch his breath. “Fuck…” he breathed into your neck.

He pushed himself off of you and the bed. He grabbed his pants and put them on as he walked towards the door. You covered yourself with the covers, waiting for who was at the door.

Hoseok opened the door to Jin, completely drunk and looking for somewhere soft to land. Hoseok grabbed him as he fell through the door. You quickly got your underwear and dress back on and ran over to help Jin onto the bed.

“Gah…Hobi your sheets smell like sex, dude.” Jin slurred. “Did you finally get it on with Y/N?”

You nearly choked, dropping Jin onto the bed. Hoseok could barely hold back his laughter. You looked between Hoseok and Jin in utter amusement. Jin was so inebriated that he had already began to snore.

You look back at Hoseok, “What are we supposed to do now?”

“We can sleep in my parents bedroom. This big guy isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

Hoseok proceeded to pick you up bridal style into his parents bedroom. Laughing, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He walked you down the dark hall. You noticed that the majority of the people had left. Pushing the door open for Hoseok, he carried you into the room.

Placing you onto the bed, Hoseok looked at your dress. “Can I get you a shirt or something?”

You nodded, realizing how tired you were now. Relaxing into his parents bed, you waited for Hoseok to come back with one of his shirts. The house was silent now, the music had stopped. Hoseok came back with a shirt that was the same length as your dress. You chuckled at the size, switching out your dress for the pine scented shirt. When you pulled your head through the shirt, you found Hoseok standing at the edge of the bed.

“You think its too late to be asking you out on a date?” he asked.

You smiled at your hands in your lap. “Of course not Hobi, but lets plan it tomorrow. I’m pretty tired.”

“Right,” he smiled, climbing into bed with you. “Lets get some rest.”

Mean - Part 2 [Harrison Osterfield series]

A/N: Hello there!! Thank you so much for the support for this series. Honestly I’m really scared that I’ll lose inspiration and motivation to write this story, so I’m trying to churn out a new chapter every few days. Hope you guys enjoy this! Do like and reblog (here’s me being desperate)

Summary:  You and Harrison share the same group of friends, but somehow you can’t stand each other. All of your friends wonder how long it’ll take for you two to get along, or maybe even fall in love.

Word Count: 1, 311

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader

Warnings: swearing, Asshole!Osterfield

Masterlist | Mini Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Three years later

You sat down in the chair by your desk, facing the wall in front of it. The pictures on the wall seemed to stare back at you, memories pouring out of them. Your eyes drifted to a picture of your boyfriend, now ex boyfriend. You frowned. The sound of paper ripping echoed in your room as you tore apart the pictures of him. You scanned the wall for any pictures of him, ready to get rid of them.

You spotted a picture of you, your boyfriend, Tom and Harrison at a party. Harrison was frowning. You remembered that party. A fight broke out between your boyfriend and Harrison. It took you and Tom ages to break that fight up. You never knew that that fight was about, probably a disagreement. Harrison never liked your boyfriend. He always had something to point out about him. Flaws, his actions, all the little things that your boyfriend did seemed to bother him. Even his presences seemed to put Harrison off.

“Finally. He’s gone.” Harrison sighed as he plopped down in the couch. Your boyfriend just left your apartment, in which you shared with Harrison and Tom.

“Why do you dislike him so much?” You fired back, looking at him for answers. Was your boyfriend that bad?

“He’s such a dickhead. He cheated on his previous girlfriend you know…”

“And you cheated on my sister.” You said flatly.

“At least I learnt my lesson. At least I’m a decent human being.” Harrison spat. “All he does it flirt with girls when you’re not around. He’s terrible! Why can’t you see that? What do you even see in him?”

“I see a caring, charming and supportive man. He’s a decent human being. Unlike you.” You said in disgust. “Why? Are you jealous? That he’s getting all of my love?” You smirked at Harrison.

“God. Why would I need love from such a desperate and pathetic girl? I’m pretty sure no one wants love from you. Your boyfriend is just your charity case.” He rolled his eyes.

The words pricked your heart. Pathetic? Desperate? Charity case? How could he? You were not a charity case. You were annoyed, and your pms made annoyed you even more. Anger bubbled inside of you as you thought of a comeback, or any statement. You had no words. You were at the end of your rope. You were mad. So so mad at him. You grabbed your keys and wallet. You needed to think.

You sat in the booth of your favourite diner, sipping a chocolate milkshake. You needed some chocolate to soothe your nerves and to satisfy your cravings. You though about what Harrison said. Would your boyfriend cheat on you? Does he flirt with other girls? Was he really what Harrison had described?

You wanted to text your boyfriend so badly, but he was on the way to the airport for a flight. You sighed. Megan? No, she’s at her parents place. Harry? No, he’s filming overseas. Sam.

You picked up your phone and was about to text Sam Holland. Suddenly, a strong grip pulled you up, dragging you out of the your seat. You looked up at the person who was dragging you. Harrison Osterfield.

“Let go of me!” You struggled. Why was he here?

He remained silent as he pulled you out of the diner. It was pouring.

“What were you thinking?” He grabbed your shoulders, shaking you, as if he was trying to shake you into reality. The rain pelted down onto you, soaking your whole body. Not a bit of skin was left untouched by the rain.

“Y/N! What were you thinking? You could’ve gotten hurt! It’s late.”

You stared into his striking blue eyes. They searched you for an answer, a reply, something that could put his worry at peace. You shrugged.

“I needed to think. Calm my nerves. I don’t know. Why do you even care?” You hissed.

“Because…” he searched for words.

“Because what? You need to ship me off to my charity case boyfriend so I can leave you alone?” You snarled.

“Gosh damn it! It’s because I car-” He started, but was interrupted by Tom.

“Nice one Haz! You found her!” Tom handed you and umbrella. “Let’s head home shall we?”

You stared at the picture. You’ve wondered about what Harrison was about to say. You tried to get him to say it, but he always brushed you off when you asked.

You jumped when you heard the sound of keys rattling. They were home. Tom and Harrison had been away for the past eight months. They were on a press tour for Spiderman: Homecoming and filming for Chaos Walking.

You walked to the front door, ready to welcome them back. Your eyes lit up when you saw your contraption that you had set up earlier.

“Thank God we’re back. I’m so tired. I want to mu-” Tom said as he walked in. He stopped when pink slime trickled down his face.

“What the fuck is this?” He asked, looking at you.

“Surprise?” You smiled cheekily.

Tom rolled his eyes and walked past you, bumping into you in the process. You frowned. What’s up with him?

“He’s not in the best mood. Paparazzi went way out of the line today.” Harrison said as he walked in with his luggage.

“I guess I should start cooking dinner.” You said sheepishly.

You stir fried minced meat, you chopped garlic and onion. You were cooking pasta, their favourite. You were stirring the sauce when suddenly, sauce started splattering, and a large amount of it got onto your shirt.

Tom was probably still mad, so you called for Harrison to get you another shirt. He passed you the shirt and took over cooking. You slipped off the dirty shirt and put on the clean one while his back was turned.

You stood next to him, wanting to take over. He refused to let you take the spatula from him, because he wanted to learn how to cook. You looked at his face, his blue eyes focusing on the pan.

“Oh my gosh Haz! You ruined it!”

Harrison looked at you, colour draining from his. He realised that all of your hard work had gone to waste.

“I’m so sorry… I could help you make another one.”

“I’m kidding. You’re doing great!”

He nudged you playfully, causing a giggle to escape your lips. You

“That was the first time you ever called me Haz.” He stated. He was right. It was. You never called him Haz. Always ‘Harrison’ or ‘HARRISON OSTERFIELD’ or even ‘HARRISON FUCKING OSTERFIELD’. You flashed a small smile and put your attention on your dinner.

“Be careful! Don’t burn it!” You pointed out.

“Y/N don’t worry… it’ll be fine.” Harrison smirked. “Don’t try to change the topic ya?” You looked down again. You didn’t know what to say.

“You know… We’ve changed. We’re both more mature now. I’m sorry for what I’ve done in the past. It was stupid. Forgive me.” He looks at you, warmth is in his eyes. He seemed genuine. He looked like he really wanted to be forgiven, unlike before when his apologies were empty.

“I know you may not be ready to forgive me. So I’m offering you a deal. Let’s be friends. For one month. We treat each other like friends. It’ll be a trial, so after a month, you can choose if you want to continue disliking me or we can officially become friends.” He offers as he scoops the sauce into the bowls.

What an offer. You furrowed your brows as you weighed the offer. Pros and cons. There weren’t many cons to be honest, it wasn’t like you disliking him would create some distance that could potentially ruin the whole sharing an apartment thing. Right?

“So what do you say?”

“You have yourself a deal Osterfield.”

A/N Leave me requests and suggestions! Feedback is appreciated too!

Part 1 |  Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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Jace knows his infatuation with his neighbor is kind of creepy.

He has been told several times, by Alec and Izzy and Magnus separately, that he needs to either talk to the guy or stop posting about him on Twitter. But that’s much easier said than done.

You develop a certain kind of intimacy with the person who lives in the apartment beside yours. With thin walls that accompany cheap housing, Jace could hear everything that went on in Simon Lewis’ apartment and vice versa. When Simon turned the volume up on his TV too high, Jace could hear direct lines from Ghostbusters. When he played his guitar, Jace could hear it. When he had friends over and he was laughing, Jace could hear it. He had a great laugh.

His crush had first developed nearly five months ago, and since then he’d been hopeless. He’d had a cold and was coughing non-stop, unaware at the time that his neighbor could definitely hear it.

There had been a knock on his door and he’d gotten up to answer with his blanket wrapped firmly around himself, hair unbrushed, looking completely disgusting because he’d assumed it was Alec and he didn’t care how he looked around his brother.

But Simon had been standing there instead, a bowl in his hands and a cheerful smile on his face.

“Hey!” He’d chirped when Jace answered. “I know we’ve only talked like, twice, but you sound really sick and I would’ve felt like a horrible neighbor if I just listened to you suffer and did nothing about it. So I, uh, made you some soup. I hope that’s okay.”

Jace had been overwhelmed and horrified with the fact that his cute neighbor had made him soup and that his cute neighbor was seeing him in a terribly unattractive state, so it took his brain a few moments to sort through it all and formulate an answer.

“Thank you,” he’d said sincerely, taking the warm bowl in his hands, “seriously this is so nice. Thank you.”

Simon had beamed, which Jace was fairly certain had healed him a little bit. “I hope you feel better soon. And you know if you need anything, just knock on my door. Or the wall, I guess.”

And from that moment on, Jace was smitten.

So occasionally, when Simon did something cute, Jace tweeted about it. So what?

It was all fine until he got a notification on his phone which read: @SIGHMONLEWIS STARTED FOLLOWING YOU.

At first, Jace’s idiotic brain had registered this as good news. And then every tweet that he had ever sent out about Simon’s face and his guitar skills and his cute Star Wars pajamas that he wore out into the lobby to get his mail came back in vivid detail and he panicked.

He frantically scrolled down his profile, hastily deleting any tweet that mentioned Simon. He was just starting to calm down, thinking that Simon probably hadn’t even bothered to look down his account, when a DM came through.

Simon had shared a tweet of Jace’s that said “Pretty boy next door is singing again……#blessed” and accompanied it with a message that said “appreciate the feedback, dude” with a laughing emoji.

Jace blacked out for a few moments from extreme terror.

He didn’t even remember dialing Alec’s number, but soon enough his brother’s soothing voice was in his ear, talking him down.

“It’s not as bad as you think.” Alec said calmly. “If anything, he might like it. They’re compliments!”

“Some people think stalking is a compliment.” Jace said with a slightly hysterical scoff. “He’s probably so creeped out, oh my god. He probably sent that message so that I would know he’s creeped out. He’s probably taking screenshots and sending them to his friends and asking them to look for apartment listings.”

“You’re blowing this out of proportion!” Alec insisted.

“How did he even find my Twitter?” Jace wondered aloud, realizing for the first time that he had never shared it.

“Well, Isabelle followed him. And she’s been to your place dozens of times, so he probably recognized her. And you’re always on her feed, because you’re both obsessed with taking selfies together, so he probably found you that way.” Alec sounded proud of himself for his deduction. Jace saw red.

“She followed him?” Jace hissed. “That makes it worse! He’s going to think I talk about him to my family and friends!”

“You do.” Alec pointed out.

“Okay, okay. I’m going to go talk to him.” Jace decided with a deep breath. That was the best course of action. If he avoided Simon, it would be a million times worse the next time he ran into him in the hall. He needed to fix this, or at least give Simon the option to choose never to speak to him again.

“That seems like a bad idea.” Alec advised. “Maybe take a few minutes to calm down first. Think about what you’re going to say.”

“No, no, I have to do it now or I’ll lose my nerve.” Jace said. “Love you, I’ll call you if I need to move in with you and Magnus, bye.”

And he hung up. He spent a few seconds messing with his hair and trying to calm his erratic heartbeat before swallowing his pride and knocking on Simon’s door.

Simon answered after a painstaking couple of seconds where Jace began to convince himself that he’d fled the country. He was in sweatpants and a yellow tee that read “Hufflepuff’ across the chest. His hair was slightly messy and something about him looked off, but he was still beautiful. He smiled at Jace, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Hey, it’s my number one fan!” He teased, effectively making Jace’s face heat up by twenty degrees. “You want me to perform a song?”

“Uh, I wanted to explain.” Jace said, trying to recall his improv skills from high school theatre. “I just, I know it might seem like I’m uh, obsessed with you or something, but I just tweet about stuff that happens in my life a lot so it’s not really you specifically, just…”

Simon seemed amused, his lips pulled into a permanent smirk. “It’s okay, man.”

“It’s weird.” Jace sighed in defeat, shoulders slumping. “I know it is. If you want me to delete my account and never speak to you again, I totally will.”

“What?” Simon shook his head. “No! I mean, really it’s okay. It was kinda…cute, actually.”


“Really.” Simon nodded, then cast his eyes downward. “And I may or may not have a Tumblr where I’ve occasionally posted about my hot neighbor. So.”

All of the panic in Jace’s body thawed and melted into absolute relief, shortly followed by ecstatic joy. He’d never even entertained the thought that his pretty neighbor might be into him, too. It had honestly never crossed his mind.

Simon looked like he was about to say something else, but he very suddenly pulled an arm up and muffled a quiet sneeze in the crook of his arm.

“Sorry,” he said with a sniffle, “I think I’m catching a cold.”

Jace smiled, already moving back toward his door. “That’s too bad. Maybe some soup would help?”

Simon beamed and nodded, already falling into step behind Jace. “That’d be great. And then you could tweet about it.”

“And you could post on Tumblr about it.” Jace countered.

Simon laughed, and it was a beautiful sound to hear on the opposite side of the wall for the first time. “We’re so creepy.”

“It’s not creepy anymore,” Jace pointed out, “now it’s cute.”

“You’re right.” Simon agreed, settling on Jace’s couch. “We’re so cute.”

Little Ham Man (Small?Hamilsquad x Reader) 10

A/N: i have just realized that i have no clue how long this series is going to last lol

Previous Chapter II Next Chapter

You didn’t move from your spot. Lafayette helped you off the street, not wanting another disaster to happen. He didn’t dare question what happen to John’s body. He carried you bridal style, and you held tight to his shirt, burrowing your head into his chest. The blood from your hands stained his clothing, but he didn’t care.

You were in shock.

The others boys didn’t really understand what was going on. Hamilton tried talking to Lafayette, but he just shook his head. They assumed that you were hurt, because of the blood, and you couldn’t muster up the words to tell them that you were okay. At least physically. Instead, you wrapped your arms around Lafayette.

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“That was, in fact, where we were going. And when we got there, we had a little bit of a problem with our cast. And without getting too gossipy about it, somebody in the cast was involved with somebody else. And that somebody else was not overly thrilled with the idea of the somebody else having love scenes with this third somebody else. And she kind of turned the screws and put the kibosh on it. And it was a curveball that we had to react to, and react to pretty quickly.” - Mark Frost on the intended Audrey\Dale storyline.

“Mark and I figured out the best thing would be to have Cooper become passionately involved with Audrey. To have a big affair. That was what all our mail was about, and that’s where it was all headed. It seemed like a great thing to do next - to have the love affair carry the show for about six episodes. We had planned it, but unfortunately Kyle refused to do it. So we ended up with no second season! Every story that you saw for those five episodes was meant to be secondary and really unimportant story. Suddenly that is all we had. And we had nothing to replace it.” —Harley Peyton.

Sherilyn Fenn reveals that beauty Lara Flynn Boyle was jealous of her when they co-starred on TV’s cult-hit mystery, Twin Peaks. Fenn, now 38, played town vamp Audrey Horne in the 1990 ABC series and had romantic scenes with an FBI agent portrayed by Kyle MacLachlan, then Boyle’s real-life boyfriend. ”I think she was unhappy about me working with Kyle,” says Fenn. “She seemed to hate our characters being so intimate.” Fenn says Boyle, now starring in The Practice, was so upset about the situation, she tried to get the show’s story line changed.

“She was understood to have asked Kyle to get the show’s creator to end our on-screen relationship,” Fenn says. ”She never said anything to me,” adds Fenn, “but it put Kyle in a difficult position.” - Sherilyn Fenn.




Don't Float Away (Pennywise x Reader)

You couldn’t sleep, but that was nothing new. Moving to a shitty little town in the middle of Maine was not exactly conducive to maintaining good, consistent sleep. You missed everything about back home. Your friends. Your family. The food. Fiber-optic internet.

Everyone looked at you like you were an alien here and growing up in a big city out West had you feeling like that too. So you took to walking around at night. It was cool out and you didn’t have eyes trained on your every move. That was the worst part about this whole thing. Everywhere you went you had eyes on you.

Eyes worried if you were adjusting well to your new home.
Eyes that didn’t trust a new face in a small town.
Eyes that had never seen pink hair on a person before.

So you relished in your midnight walks as you were free to do as you pleased with impunity.

Tonight was different though.

You noticed it almost immediately. The air was electric. Like, when you go to pull a sweater from the dryer and as soon as you reach your hand into the chamber you can tell it’s about to shock the fuck out of you. Like that.

You were forced to stop at a four-way intersection a few blocks away from the new house. Across the street was a dense, dark cloak of woods sprinkled with marsh throughout and you had no idea what the terrain was like. You decided not to chance it in the dark and instead turned to walk home when you heard a distinct ’riiiiiip’. A stray tree limb had snagged onto a cosmetic hole in your jeans and now most of your thigh was exposed to the cool night air.

You sighed, sitting down on the curb underneath a lamp. It’s obnoxious orange glow threatened to make you sweat despite the slight breeze. You pulled out the pack of cigarettes you had worked hard to hide from your foster mom and stuck one in between your teeth. Reaching up to light it a door slammed loudly behind you and startled you enough that your lighter flew out of your hand sliding across the asphalt towards a storm drain. You reached out to try to prevent it from falling down into the void but saw a silhouette of a person crouching down in the small opening and recoiled.

You knew the person had to have seen you so you waited for them to acknowledge your presence. Finally, they did. “Hiya.” The voice belonged to a man. You almost laughed from the tension and the ridiculous two-syllabled attempt to break it.


“Hello. Uh, do you need help?” You mentally kicked yourself for the idiotic question.

He giggled, his voice high-pitched but pleasant. “No…but it seems like you may need some. Did you drop this?” The lighter you lost sparked up and for the first time, your companion was illuminated.

He was a fucking clown. In the sewer. To say he, It, was inhuman would be like saying that fire was hot. Thinking back, you were embarrassed to say you found it fascinating that something could resemble a man and still look so inhuman.

You openly gawked. “Yes, I did. You can keep it though…I shouldn’t really be smoking anyway. It just calms my nerves.” You nervously tucked the unlit cigarette behind your ear. “Who are you?” Electric blue eyes peered back at you. You almost asked ‘what are you?’ but you decide against it.

“Well…how rude of me, (Y/N). My name is Pennywise the Dancing Clown.” You noted that he already knew your name, but decided to ignore it.

Your eyes became accustomed to the darkness of the drain so you could see him better now. “Hello, Mr. Pennywise. It’s nice to meet you. Any particular reason why you’re hanging out in a storm drain or is that just what clowns do around here?”

He shook his head vigorously and red hair flew everywhere. You heard the sweetest bells tinkling. “I am one of a kind. Why, if you came down here with me I could put on a show for you.”

You pulled your knees in tight. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Pennywise. I think I’ll just stay up here for now.” You should have got up and run away. You should be running in literally any direction. Or screaming for help. But you stayed sat down on that curb, captivated by this facade. This illusion. You were stressed from the change of scenery and your mind was just rebelling you rationalized. Maybe this is how you would cope. Regardless, it was a testament to how lonely you felt that you were trying to maintain a conversation with it.

 “Suit yourself. What lovely hair you have there, (Y/N). All nice and pink and fluffy like cotton candy. Do you like cotton candy?” Pennywise asked enunciating harshly, his eyes turning a peculiar shade of yellow.

“Mr. Pennywise, can I ask you a question?” The Clown was momentarily stunned. After a few seconds of silence, he replied.

“Sure, (Y/N).” Came his gruff reply.

“What’s the saddest thing in the world that you can think of?”

He pondered the question dramatically, stroking his chin with a gloved hand. “I’d have to say…going to a carnival and not eating any of the yummy popcorn!” He clapped his hands triumphantly.

You shook your head smiling a small, sad smile. “I was thinking more along the lines of feeling like you’re a balloon. I don’t feel like I have anything tethering me down anymore. I hate this town. I miss how things used to be. I miss my old life. I’m afraid that I might get so sad that I’ll just float away. And I don’t want to float away-”

You broke down into sobs completely forgetting the strange clown entity standing in the sewer underneath you. You succumbed to the tears for a few minutes until something dropped into your lap making you jump. You looked down to see your lighter. Swallowing your tears and chuckling bitterly you turn to thank Pennywise, but he was nowhere to be found. Great, now not even your imaginary-sewer-clown wanted privy to the clusterfuck that was (Y/N).

You shook your head in disbelief and sucked down your cigarette as you quickly walked back home. As your new house came into view you sighed. Throwing your cigarette butt down and stomping it out felt almost therapeutic like you were turning a page. Your first week in Derry wasn’t the greatest, you ripped your favorite jeans and imagined a conversation with a demonic clown that lives in the sewers. There was nowhere to go but up from here. As you climbed into your window and pulled off your pants to get ready to crawl into bed you felt almost optimistic. That was until you saw the shiniest red balloon you had ever seen floating above your bed. It was tied to a large rock that looked to be moist. Written very crudely on the balloon in bold, black letters were 3 words.

Don’t float away

The Music I Can Give You - Part 16

Summary: Generally, you’re a fairly open person with the team. You tell them about your past and in turn they seem to open up to you as well. The only thing is, is that no one on the team knew of your intense love of music. It was something incredibly personal to you and you kept it close to your heart, not willing to open yourself up to other people’s judgement. That is, until Bucky Barnes came to the Tower. You never spoke to Bucky but the more you watched and observed him, the faster you found yourself falling for the kind, strong man. It’s only after seeing Bucky being tormented by one of his nightmares do you realize that maybe there is something that you can do to help him, and quietly show your love for him at the same time.

Warnings: None :)

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: Only a few more chapters left! Thank you all so much for your support and comments! Now I’ve been seeing this message all over my dash and I couldn’t help but put it out there myself. If you like a fanfiction and really enjoy it enjoyed it, please reblog it! There are so many fanfics that die on their authors blogs because not enough people share it. Share chapters that you like so the fanfictions can spread! As always, please enjoy this and feedback is always welcome!


The Music I Can Give You - Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Reader’s POV

Like every time before, when you left the Tower you opted to walk rather than take one of Tony’s ostentatious cars. The few miles to the concert hall always served to build your anticipation and excitement. Tonight the hall was playing one of your favourite soundtracks along with what you considered to be one of the most underrated movies of all time: Stardust, and you couldn’t be more excited. Pulling your coat around you against the wind, you jogged across the street, dodging cabs as you went.

Walking your usual route through the city to the concert hall, something felt… different. Not bad or necessarily off like it had weeks ago when you thought someone had been following you but, brighter almost? Like something was going to happen but you weren’t sure when. Moving your hand out of your pocket, you lightly traced the outline of your gun under your dress. Whatever it was that you felt coming, you could handle it.

Spotting the glow of the concert hall’s lights through the entrance of the alley, you sped up your pace. Rounding the corner, you looked down and opening your purse, pausing on the sidewalk. Fumbling with your clutch, you pushed aside various items looking for your ticket. Sure Harold knew you on sight, but you still needed a ticket, you refused to pull your Avengers card to get a free pass. If you did that then everyone would know you were here instead of on a date with your ‘informant’. Finally finding your ticket, you tucked your purse back under your arm and looked up, freezing at what you found.

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Learning The Family History

My parents told me I was adopted in the same way one might speak about their weekend plans; an “Oh, by the way”, off-the-cuff remark made in passing. Since I was probably about three the first time they said it, it really didn’t phase me. They were always very open about it and, when I was old enough to really understand what it meant to be adopted, they sat me down after dinner one night and explained it in more detail.

They asked me if I had any questions, if I was upset, if there was anything I wanted to know. And there was. I wanted to know if we had any ice cream left because a hot fudge sundae for dessert sounded really good.

I don’t know if that’s the response my parents wanted, but I got a very big bowl of ice cream with extra fudge soon after.

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You’re Cute - Artemi Panarin

Request: None

Word Count: 2,042

Warnings: None

A/N: Late night post but I hope you guys enjoy. Don’t forget to leave any requests you guys have!

This evening Zach, my long time best friend, decided to invite me to the Blue Jackets before season party..or whatever they called it. I guess it was a party they had before the season kicked off. I’ve been to a few games before but i’ve never been to one of their get together or parties because I was always so nervous to meet the rest of his teammates, but he practically begged me to go, so I eventually had to give in.

I wore a comfy sweater and a pair of ripped jeans since Zach insisted it was just casual attire. I was still a little nervous because I never did well with parties, or gatherings in general. I didn’t want to embarrass Zach tonight. Unfortunately though it was to late for me to back out because he was already here. I let out a sigh and smiled once I opened the door to let him inside.

“Hey there Zach!” I said, wrapping my arms around him and enfolding him in a hug.

“Hey Y/N! You look great. Are you ready to go?” He asked me and I quickly grabbed my phone off the counter and nodded.

“Well, a little nervous but I think i’ll survive.” I chuckled dryly as I shut the door behind me and followed him to his car. It was a nice, warm evening out today and it felt nice to finally be out of the house for once. Thankfully I wasn’t swarmed with college work this weekend.

The entire car ride I was silent. The only sounds came from Zach’s radio that was silently playing in the background. I kept my focus on looking out the window, watching the trees pass by as we drove. Zach could sense my nervousness and he gently patted my thigh, giving me a small smile.

“It’s gonna be okay Y/N, I promise they’ll love you.” Zach reassured me as he pulled into a driveway of what I assumed to be the party house. I looked over at him and smiled.

“Thanks Zach, you know how I can be around large crowds of people sometimes.” We both got out of the car and walked up to the front door while Zach knocked. The door opened up wide to reveal a larger guy who I assumed was one of Zach’s teammates. I shyly stood behind him as he walked in and to my surprise it was a pretty small party so far.

“See, nothing to worry about. Everyone’s friendly here.” He told me as he went up to the cooler to grab me a beer, although I politely declined. I followed behind Zach and he introduced me to most of his teammates and their girlfriends/wives. Most of them were kind but I felt overwhelmed by the amount of people that were here now and I needed a breath. I didn’t know where Zach had wondered off to so I decided to slip outside to the backyard for a couple minutes. I always enjoyed being outside. It was just something about it that always calmed my nerves down. I sat down on one of the porch steps and crossed my arms over my chest.

I felt the presence of another person sitting down right next to me after a moment and I turned to my left to see a guy wearing a white t-shirt with a black jacket over it. He didn’t look my way, just continued to stare off into the distance not saying a word. I gently cleared my throat and tapped my fingers on my knee lightly.

“Hey there..” I whispered to the stranger, who was oddly attractive when we locked eyes. I blushed and looked away before he could say anything to me.

“Hello.” He said in a deep accented voice. I was such a sucker for a guy with an accent that’s for sure. I looked back up at him and smiled. He seemed like a normal person to talk to. Not that Zach and his teammates weren’t normal, I just felt this sense of comfort around this man.

“What’re you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be enjoying the party?” I asked him.

“It hard to speak English for long period of time. Need a break to breathe.” He told me. The way he spoke melted my heart and I kind of felt bad for him in a way. He obviously wasn’t perfect with his English yet, but I admired him for being here and trying anyways.

“I guess we’re out here for the same reasons..kind of.” I shrugged, turning my attention back up to the almost sunset.

“You speak other language?” He asked me and I shook my head.

“No, I just get nervous around new people and big crowds. I guess that’s why parties aren’t exactly my cup of tea.” I told him.

“Why be nervous? Pretty girl shouldn’t be nervous.” He told me and I immediately felt my cheeks heat up again. I laughed to myself and looked back over at him. His blue eyes mesmerized me and I couldn’t look away from how gorgeous he looked.

“Well, since were throwing around compliments I must say you have a very cute face.” That was such a stupid thing to say. Why on earth would you say that Y/N

“Thank You….-“

“Y/N.” I told him softly. “My names Y/N.”

“Artemi.” He replied. “Want a drink?” He asked me and I declined.

“I’m not a big alcohol drinker.” I told him. “At least as long as i’m in college. Finishing my last year is my priority right now.”

“No time for boy either?” He asked me shyly and I could see the redness forming along his cheeks. This boy was to adorable.

“Well, I guess it depends on who’s asking.” I told him, gently nudging his arm. “I should probably go back in now. Zach’s probably looking for me.” I told him as I got up and fixed my sweater.

“Stay?” He asked me. I guess staying for a couple more minutes wouldn’t hurt. Zach’s probably to busy catching up with everyone anyways.

“Sure, why not?” I told him, taking a seat next to him. He surprisingly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I took the opportunity to lay my head down on his shoulder.

“So, Artemi, how long have you played with the Blue Jackets?” I asked while continuing to watch the sun slowly set.

“This my first year. Used to play with Blackhawks. Miss Chicago sometime.” He told me and I slowly shifted myself so that I looked up at him.

“It’s never easy moving to a different team, but I assure you that the guys here are pretty nice, well Zach is of course. He’s my best friend.” I told him. “Where are you from?”

“Russia.” He smiled. “Best country. Love it.” I knew it was a Russian accent. I learned a little bit of Russian in high school and I loved how his face lit up with a smile whenever he brought up his country. I guess the little things made him

“Can you tell me something in Russian?” I asked him and he only laughed.

“Like what?” He asked and I shrugged.

“I don’t know, anything. I wanna see if the Russian language stuck with me or not. I did learn it for two years after all.”

“Я думаю, вы очень красивы, и ваша застенчивость дополняет вашу красоту.” He told me with a smile. I only knew the first part. He just called me beautiful.

“You think i’m beautiful?” I asked him and he nodded.

“Look like you still got it.” He said referring to my knowledge of his Russian language. I just shrugged.

“I guess I do.” I told him. There was silence between the two of us again and all we did was just look into each other’s eyes. It was so hard not to get lost in his beautiful eyes. I didn’t even realize how close we were, especially our lips before the door slid open again.

“Y/N! There you are!” Zach breathed a sigh of relief but then stood frozen when he saw how close me and Artemi were. I immediately jumped back away from him as my cheeks heated up again. This time from embarrassment.

“Oh- h-hey Zach.” I said softly, looking down at my hands. Artemi didn’t say anything either, just looked down as well. I guess this wasn’t a very good first impression on his part to the team.

“What’s happening here?” He asked with a smile as he shut the door and walked closer to us.

“I just needed to get some air, but then I met Artemi and we’ve kinda been talking about random things.” I shrugged. “How’s the party?” I asked him, looking up at him shyly.

“Oh you know, just another party. Nothing special.” He shrugged, sitting down in between us. I groaned and slightly rolled my eyes. Zach always did this to me whenever I met a guy I was interested in. “How’s it going Artemi? Enjoying the party?” He asked him, gently patting his shoulder.

“Zach could you please not do this..” I sighed, shaking my head in embarrassment. I guess this is why I always thought of Zach as my big brother. He had all of the characteristics of a brother whenever I was around a guy or just anyone in general. He could really get on my nerves sometimes.

“Fun party.” Artemi replied softly. “I think I gonna grab a water.” He added before walking back inside. I looked up and watched Artemi leave with a sad expression on my face. Why would Zach ruin that for me.

“Zach what the hell was that for?” I said in a furious manner. “Why do you always ruin every opportunity I have with a guy! We were getting to know each other and I felt like we connected and you just come in here and ruin everything!” I told him before getting up and following Artemi inside, leaving Zach behind. I slightly pushed past different people trying to find where Artemi had gone off to. I was begging to think he probably ended up leaving before I saw him sitting on one of the couches with a water in his hand. I sighed deeply and hesitantly walked up to him.

“Hey..” I said softly, sitting down next to him. “I’m sorry about Zach..he’s always been protective of me. He’s kind of like my big brother.” I chuckled dryly.

“No worry. Glad you’re back now.” He said to me and I smiled.

“I’m glad i’m back too..kinda had to yell at him a little bit. I feel a little bad.” I told him
truthfully. “But I really like talking to you. I like your personality and how you’re not afraid to show who you are.” I told him and then I saw Zach come up to the both of us again and I signed in frustration.

“Y/N, Artemi..please don’t go anywhere. I came here because I owe you guys an apology..especially you Y/N. I’m sorry for trying to get in the middle of you two. I just want what’s best for my best friend.” He said, giving me a small smile and I sighed softly.

“I know you’re just trying to look out for me Zach, but I just met Artemi and all we were doing was just talking. I mean, yeah I think he’s a wonderful guy but you don’t have to worry about him hurting me or anything like that. I know he wouldn’t do something like that.” I told Zach sincerely.

“Your sister very beautiful.” Artemi told him and I couldn’t help but laugh. Zach gave me a confused look and I just whispered that i’d explain it to him later. I gave Artemi a gentle kiss on his cheek and thanked him for his compliment. Zach chuckled and gave me a small thumbs up before joining his friends back in the crowd.

“Be careful you two, I don’t wanna be an uncle this soon.” He jokes and I rolled my eyes at him as he left. Artemi gave me a confused look and I gently placed my lips upon his in a sweet, gentle kiss.


Man, it’s been a rough day… I hope all of you are safe.

On another note, I needed something to calm my nerves, so I drew a comic!

They’re each other’s guardian angels, sworn to protect each other no matter what <3 And since you can’t fly with only a wing, they’re always together uwu 

Also Swapfell Papyrus is too precious help

“Oh my God, Dean, what the hell did you do?” Sam says, peering blearily out of his own bedroom at 2am, staring between Dean standing confused in the hallway and Cas’s bedroom door, which had slammed loudly enough to wake the whole of Lebanon not 30 seconds ago.

Dean shrugs helplessly, “I have no idea.”

Sam glares tiredly at him and brushes his hair out of his face, “Yeah, well you obviously did something.”

Dean bristles. Just one more thing Sam’s blaming him for and he wasn’t even there.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause everything’s always my fault isn’t it, Sammy?” Dean snaps. Sam sighs, and Dean is treated to a second door being slammed in his face.

Dean lets out a grunt of frustration and slams his own. He paces restlessly around his room for all of a minute before he’s storming out again and banging on Cas’s bedroom door.

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Arranged Marriage: Sehun Edition. Part 11

A/n: this turned out to be so long that I had to divide it into two chapters - so once more chapter for youu!!

any way people requests are open! I’m almost finished with the ones I have right now <3

Word Count: 5036

PART 1 |PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7| PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10


Originally posted by wooyoung

Getting out of the taxi, I wanted to slam the car door, if only I had had enough strength. Slowly, I entered our house, but right after closing the front door, I lost all that was holding me up. My body gave in and I fell against the wall, tears slowly streaming down my face.

All hope was gone. Hope for better future. Hope that since my parents couldn’t make my life a nightmare anymore, I would be happy. Hope that I would love and maybe he would love me too and even if the relationship would never be something I could tell my grandchildren, at least I would have someone next to me.

How could I have believed him? The man who lied every single day to the world for so long. I was nothing but a stunt to him. A material for his stable future as a businessman. Why would he return the feelings that existed in a stupid person that is me?

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  • Will thought things were going great with his boyfriend, Nico. They’ve been going out for two months. And there was no way that he could keep his secret from Nico from any longer. 
  • Not only that, but he was pretty sure that Nico could feel his binder every time they hugged or cuddled. Or maybe he was just imagining it. But he had to tell Nico the truth.
  • Nico came back from the bathroom and walked over to Will’s bed. He smiled at him and sat next to him. 
  • “You okay? You look uneasy.” Nico asked. 
  • “Um, yeah.” Will replied. 
  • Nico wrapped an arm around Will’s back, which made Will want to move away. His arm was right around where his binder was located. 
  • Nico’s eyes were scanning Will’s facial expression. “Will, what’s wrong? Why are you suddenly jumpy?” 
  • Will looked at Nico, nervous to tell him. What if Nico didn’t like him anymore because he wasn’t born a male? Would he just leave him after Will had the courage to ask him out a month ago and ruin a year friendship in return?
  • “I need to tell you something that only my mom and dad knows about. And you got to promise not to tell anyone else.” Will said. “And you got to promise that you have to let the information soak in before responding.”
  • Nico looked at him in slight nervousness but nodded. “I promise.”
  • Will moved away so he could look Nico in the eyes. He needed to tell him before this relationship got anymore serious. 
  • “Um, so,” He took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. “I’m transgender. I have been binding my chest for about two years now and have been taking hormones for a year. And I know we have been friends for a year and I haven’t told you this secret but I wanted you to like me as Will.”
  • Tears were starting to swell up in his eyes as he talked about him transferring schools because he was getting made fun of because he was transgender. 
  • Nico took his hands as he talked before pulling Will closer. He kissed Will’s cheek and tried to calm him down with a hug. 
  • “I don’t care that you’re transgender.” Nico whispered to him. “All I know is that I really like you and want to make sure you’re okay.”
  • “You don’t care that I’m transgender?” Will asked.
  • “I mean, you’re a guy right?” Will nodded. “I like guys, not girls, which you are. So I don’t mind that you’re transgender.”
  • Will took a deep breath and buried his face into Nico’s shoulder. He could feel Nico rubbing his back and kissing his head to try and calm him down. 
  • “I didn’t even know you wore a binder.” Nico told him. “I always thought you were flat chested.”
  • Will smiled a tiny bit. “My parents are thinking about letting me get chest surgery.” 
  • “That’s great.” Nico smiled. “And I’ll be right there  with you when it happens.”
  • Will hugged him tight. “Thanks Nico. I really appreciate you accepting me.”
  • “I appreciated you telling me.” Nico told him, hugging him back to comfort him.  
Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) 8/24

Genre: Chaptered, fantasy AU, Prince!Phil, Thief!Dan, romance, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff, slow burn (like serious slow burn)

Warnings: some violence, mentions of death (no main characters), dark magic, descriptions of wounds/blood, some hints of sexual scenes (but no actual smut), murder, dangerous situations, stealing/thievery

Summary: Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of Morellia, Philip Lester has never been given the chance to find love. Instead, he’s run from a system that works to end class differences and improve equality for its citizens. Happy as he is to make the world a better place, Phil can’t help feeling bitter towards his ancestors for making it impossible for him to find someone who will actually love him for more than just his title, and strives instead for a life of justice and doing good - only to meet his match in the King of Thieves, a man who will change everything he once thought he knew in life. Together, they must depart on a quest to save the kingdom, and, in the process, destroy their differences and find their own form of love.

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anonymous asked:

Can you write a NSFW fic about MC being married to saeyoung but has an affair with saeran ? Like she loves them both and they also loves her too. How would saeran react when she kiss him for the first time when saeyoung wasn't around ? You can just ignore this if you're not comfortable writing this ^^

Are you kidding me? I am the type of person who’d happily ditch Saeyoung for his brother. Let’s do this!

Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Cheating (?)
Categories: F/M
Relationships: MC x Saeyoun & MC x Seven (kinda)
Word count: 3800

Despite having been the first one to lay my eyes on her, I never really saw her. Back then I’d been under Rika’s leadership, following her every word, obeying to her every command. There had been nothing in the world but her. She’d been my savour, the one that had shown me the light in all the darkness I’d fallen into. So when she’d send me out to find her another pawn to use for her big game of chess, I’d happily obliged. As long as it brought her a step closer to fulfilling her life wish, I would have done anything for her. I really thought I loved her, back then. That was, until someone stepped into my life that taught me what love even meant.

When I’d picked MC it hadn’t been because of any kind of personal preference. She’d been family-less, which meant that no one would miss her, between jobs and most importantly she’d shown kindness in different sorts of situations, which was necessary for what Rika had planned. In that moment, she’d been nothing but a faceless pawn to me. She just made it so easy, walking right into the trap that I’d constructed for her. I watched her answer the messages as I wrote them, following her through the streets and to Rika’s old apartment. I knew it had surveillance cameras in it, which meant I couldn’t just break in and steal the documents myself. A kind little girl, however, merely returning a phone would not pose a threat.

What I hadn’t expected, over the course of spying on her, tormenting my brother and his little friends group, was that I’d grow attached. Rika had given me a time limit to retrieve the information she needed, told me to blow the building up, if it took too long. After all, she didn’t actually want the girl to use that information for herself an the RFA. I wanted to obey, but another part of me simply refused. I was torn, painfully so. It was agony and I found myself letting it out on her. I threatened her, came to attack her, texted her when I knew she was most vulnerable; all by herself in an unfamiliar apartment in the middle of the night. All of it just to get a reaction out of her, make her suffer like she was making me suffer.

Nothing worked. It was infuriating. She merely texted back before returning to the bed. MC didn’t seem distressed nor scared. Even when I tried to kidnap her she’d merely bitten me and run off. Later on she’d been the one to help my brother save me, despite everything I’d done to her, and even went as far as to tend to my wounds immediately and without hesitation. She didn’t flinch away from my touch and when I’d broken down MC hadn’t hesitated to hug me, reassure me that all of this wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t crazy nor broken. I hadn’t been hugged like that in years and with every touch of hers, I felt myself giving in to those new feelings bubbling inside of me. I dare say it was that moment I started loving her.

Once my brother had forced me to live with him after said incident things quickly started to change. It wasn’t easy to begin with; my nightmares were keeping me awake and Saeyoung didn’t really know how to help me. He knew all that was electronic but lacked in the human department. It was fine though, for the better part, as I’d finally been freed from the dark clutches of a devilish mistress only to reunite with my brother. I was happy to be alive, to be able to dream and have nightmares at all. Saeyoung didn’t seem satisfied though and that is when things became complicated. As it turned out, my brothers solution to everything compassion and emotion related was her. That day, she moved in with us.

I kept my distance for a long time. Not because I wanted to give them and their new, blossoming relationship space, but because I didn’t like having her around back then. I told myself it was jealousy, making me feel that way. I didn’t want to share the brother I’d only just gotten back. In reality, I didn’t trust myself enough not to betray that very same brother. I hated seeing them together, catching glimpses of shared laughter and stolen kisses in the morning. My heart would ache in ways I’d never ute experienced before and my entire day would feel just a little darker. Those feelings made me feel sick, for more than one reason. Not admitting the truth to a friend, can be painfully hard. Not wanting to admit the truth to yourself, however, was simply excruciating. 

Weeks passed like that; me watching my brother fall more and more in love with the first woman I’ve ever felt a connection to. The one that every night would sit beside me and hold me as a shook with the nightmare still ringing within me. MC never spoke during those, as it was not necessary. In fact, we didn’t exchange many words over the weeks in general, which is not to say we didn’t connect on a deeper level. I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words and her actions spoke only for her. MC’s kindness and compassion allowed me to finally come out of my shell. She never pushed, allowed me to take things one step at a time and just like that I fell in love with a woman – the first woman I ever felt connected to – and I was not even allowed to pursue her. One week later Saeyound asker for her hand in marriage. She said yes. An hour later he asked me to be his best man. I said yes. One and the same word spoken from two mouths and it had shattered my entire world in minutes.

The next months passed in a blur. So much so I recall very little of them. There was a lot of planning involved, cheerful people congratulating the happy couple and a lot of swallowed down bitterness on my part. Luckily, since I was still considered traumatized, people hadn’t expected me to smile or cheer too much, which had been a blessing in disguise. When I stood beside my brother at the altar and saw MC walk down the isle she took my breath away. That is one of the most vivid memories I can recall. I remember a tear rolling down my cheek as they’d said their finals vows and how people had later on told me I was such a sweet and loving brother to be so happy for Saeyoung that I myself cried. I hadn’t bothered to correct them.

People always tell you that time heals all wounds, that you move on and leave the pain behind eventually, right? Well, that is a lie. I never moved on and my wounds never healed. No matter how much I tried, I found myself falling deeper into a pit of resentment. Myself, for having been to slow. Her, for having made me fall in love. My brother, because he’d taken the one thing I ever desired before me. For a long time I forced myself to endure. I’d missed out on more than half a decade worth of ‘special moments’ with my brother and I wanted those back. Reality doesn’t work like that though. You can’t catch up with time and you can’t outrun it either. What’s past is past and there is no getting it back. It took me a long time of suffering through shared breakfasts and cuddling on the couch to understand that. 

The brother I’d once known was gone. I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t the brother he once knew either and yet he took me in. Still, I found myself aching for freedom. I’d been locked inside and unhappy for long enough. I couldn’t watch them any longer as it killed a little more with every instance. One night, I decided to sneak out. I still had the code to Rika’s old apartment and since the party was months away, MC rarely used it. I didn’t have many belongings, so packing my stuff and leaving wasn’t hard nor dramatic. It was silent and unnoticed. Much like me, I suppose. What I hadn’t expected was a knock on the door of Rika’s apartment mere two hours later. I’d just taken care of the camera, reprogramming it so it would show an old image of an empty room, as turning it off completely would raise suspicion.

I’d sighed then, already preparing for Saeyoung to give me a long, big brother and protector speech and drag me bag home. Instead I was met with big, teary eyes and a quivering lip before a pair of gentle arms wrapped around my neck, holding me close. I froze, surprised to see MC standing in front of me. However, I couldn’t resists the warmth for long, hesitantly wrapping my arms around her slender frame, burying my face in her soft hair. She smelled so good, I never wanted to let go of her. Sadly, that decision was taken from me as she untangled herself from me, taking my wrist and pulling me along as she began taking steps back, telling me to come back home. I’d closed my eyes with a long sigh, pulling back my arm and letting it fall to my side.

“I can’t…”, I’d merely said as explaining further would only worsen things. “I’ll be staying here, if that is alright with you.” I leaned against the open door, resting my forehead against the cold surface to calm my nerves. She needed to leave or I’d find myself doing something I’d regret for the rest of my life soon, I’d known even back then. I’d been tired, sad and vulnerable and she’d been my salvation. Self control had never been my strong suit and she’d been testing it in that particular moment. “It’s not alright with me”, she’d replied, voice high pitched and obviously upset. I’d never quite seen her like that before. “You belong home with Seven. And me.”

Now that had gotten my attention. Why had she sounded so upset, so lonely as she’d spoken those words? She’d stepped closer again, reached out for grip the front of my shirt before closing the distance between us once more to bury her face in my chest, still holding onto me so delicately. “Please don’t leave”, she’d sobbed and it had broken my heart and yet I couldn’t help but be greedy with her, be selfish. “Why?” What did I want to hear? The truth that would hurt or a lie that would make me happy?

“Because you always wake up around three in the morning, so I usually get up earlier so I can wait for you. That way you don’t have to be alone after your nightmares. That way I can instantly wrap you in a blanket and keep you warm and safe but tonight…tonight you weren’t there and you weren’t in your room and Mint Eye doesn’t exist anymore so I figured you were here and oh Saeran, I was so scared something had happened to you. How can you do this to me?”

How indeed? In that moment I hadn’t been so sure myself. How had I gathered the strength to go, do the right thing, when the forbidden fruit was the sweetest. I wanted her so much my body was tearing from the inside out not to crave into those desires. She was my brothers wife. Even without the rules of Mint Eye to guide me, I knew very well that desiring her, let alone acting out on such thoughts, was great sin. I could not do that. Not because of myself, I would have gladly burned in hell for the chance to give myself fully to MC, but because of her. She was an angel that walked earth and had to return to heaven some day, I was sure of it.

“Why aren’t you answering me”, she cried, the first tear running down her cheek. It made me want to kneel before her, beg for forgiveness. I couldn’t though. I knew it would be more hurtful to admit to my shameful feelings than to let her cry it out. “Don’t we matter to you at all?” I found myself stepping forward, cupping her face and brushing over her rosy, wet cheeks to wipe away the tears. “You’re all that matters to me.” The words had been out of my mouth before I’d even registered them and it was too late to take them back.

I’d sighed, shoulders slumping as I stepped away from her again, eyes closed as if it would make this all go away somehow. “Please, MC, just go and -”, the rest of the sentence was silenced by her warm lips pressing against mine. The kiss had come as such a shock, for the first couple of seconds I hadn’t been able to return it. Once my brain had caught up though, all resistance inside of me had melted away and my arms had found their way around the MC’s body. We held onto each other like our lives depended on it and yet as if the other was the most delicate thing in the entire world.

We hadn’t had sex that night. Instead we’d found our way to the bed, lying beside one another as we kissed and touched and explored without fully crossing the line that could never be uncrossed once passed. We’d both been aware that there would be no going back from that moment on. This thing between us, whatever it might have been at the time, it was too intense and all consuming to ignore. It was merely a matter of time until we would give in entirely. That night marked the beginning of our intimate relationship, which, despite all odds, was still going strong in this very moment, almost a year after our first kiss.

I hold her in my arms, a peaceful, undisturbed and unrushed moment between just the two of us. Over the past couple of weeks those have become rare, as my brother seems to be circling her like a hawk would his pray. I don’t think he suspects anything, but we both know that in a situation like ours, it is much better to be safe than sorry. Our naked bodies are interlaced below the warm covers. Her head is resting on my bare chest, listening to my heartbeat as she always does after we make love. When I asked her once, what it was that fascinated her so much about it, she’d replied with telling me that her power over my heart made her happy. It beat faster when she excited me and slowed to blissful relaxation whenever we held onto one another like this. My heart truly was hers.

With an arm wrapped around her I held her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead, smiling to myself. “What is on your mind, love”, she asked, looking up at me with those innocent eyes. “You.” A simple yet fully honest answer. It was always her. It always would be. MC chuckled at my words, the sound that moved my heart to this day. “Other than me, silly. It’s always me when I ask.” I smirk down at her, brighter even. “Us. You and me”, I reply then. “Really? What is it that you think about then, when you think about us? Is it something nice? Something happy?” I nod. “I think about us running away. Far, far away where no one can find us ever again. Just you and me. I think about asking you to marry me and how you’d say yes. How we’d start a life together somewhere, maybe a family.”

It’s not the first time we indulge in such fantasies. In a relationship like ours, fantasies are all we’ll ever have. What if’s are probably the worst thing to ever cross a humans mind, and yet they were all we had, so we made the best out of it, as we dreamed about those things together. It wasn’t like we didn’t love each other enough to go through with it. We’d both agreed that it was an option. But MC loved my brother and I both and so did I. I could not betray him like that, steal away his loving bride and she could not abandon her best friend and husband. It was complicated, messy and hurtful, but we made it work.

Suddenly she’s moving under the covers, climbing on top of me. Her hands are resting on my chest now as MC looks down at me, eyes shining with something so intense, love is not sufficient to describe  it. Her hips begin to roll against mine once more and I can feel that she’s wet still, hungry still. Sometimes she can be insatiable, seducing me many times a night. This isn’t one of those nights, however, not just about physical satisfaction. It’s about being connected in the most intimate way human possible, being one for even just a couple of minutes. 

She reaches down between us, holds my erection between her tender fingers and sits down on it. No matter how often we do this, the feeling of being able to sink into her wet warmth overwhelms me every single time. Especially with such an intense chemistry in the room. I gasp quietly once I’m buried inside her fully. She smiles down at me, reaching out to caress my cheek as she begins to roll her hips against mine. I turn my head to the side, press a kiss to her palm before looking back up at her. The view is mesmerizing and yet again I find myself incapable of looking away.

Her eyes are closed, head slightly thrown back with her hair cascading down her shoulders and back. She is almost entirely quiet, other than the short, breathy pants and the occasional gasp. I don’t mind. Sex doesn’t have to be loud to be passionate and good. If anything the way her cheeks redden and her lips are ever parted shows me just how much she is enjoying herself. I let my hands roam over her body, grips her by the hips and caress them before traveling higher. Up her sides I move my hands to her breasts, holding them in my hands and playing with her nipples. They instantly harden under my attention and MC bites down on her bottom lip to muffle any further noise.

I like having her on top of me like that, her entire body bared to me to feast on its beauty. Her pale skin looks beautiful when it starts to flush with the strain of sex and orgasm, glistening with small pearls of sweat that formed in the moments of passion. I sit up from my lying position, craving the closeness. We are eye to eye now, one of my arms wrapped around her while I cup her face with the other hand. She opens her eyes and they lock with my. Our pupils are blows, eyes half lidded with our faces so close our lips are always brushing together.

I begin thrusting into her then, slow but deliberate. We moan in unison, moving together in tandem to find out peak together. As we kiss, licking into each others mouth, tongues dancing together, my movements become more desperate. I can feel myself growing closer with every rock of my hips, her walls tightening around me only increasing my pleasure. She knows how to pleasure me, how to have control even when it is seemingly me. Mc break the kiss, a load moan falling from her hips as I hit jus the right spot inside of her. I want to make her come before me, trailing kisses down her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin the way I know she likes. 

I can never leave marks and as much as that thought pains me, I am glad to have her in my arms at all. She comes soon after, face buried in the crock of my neck, nails digging into my back as her body shakes with orgasm, her walls tightening around my cock it takes me a mere handful of thrusts to follow her over the edge and spill inside of her. Once we’re both spent we fall back onto bed together, still slightly out of breath but happy and sated. Yet again my hand is brushing through her hair and her head is resting above my heart to listen to it slow down. I would have never thought that I would enjoy routines. I wanted adventure when I was young, constant adrenaline. Now I’m grown up and realize just how silly those dreams were compared to what I want now.

Now I dream about settling down, leaving my former ‘adventurous’ life behind. I dream about settling down somewhere with a family home, a white picket fence and a little harder. I dream about putting a ring on the finger of the woman I love, about building a family and maybe buying a dog. I dream about having a job boring enough to be safe and safe enough to provide for my family and a routine that begins with waking up to one another and ends with putting the kids to sleep. No matter how mundane my dreams, however, how seemingly reachable, they are still as unrealistic as me dreaming about being a pirate or an astronaut.

When I was a kid, I wanted one adrenaline rush after the other. Now I would do anything to be able to give it up, because the adrenaline rush you get from fucking your brothers wife is not an adrenaline rush you will ever be able to enjoy. Especially when the punishment you get for such a sin is not something that awaits you in hell, but happens on earth. Every day I have to let her go and watch her walk back into his arms. I watch her smile at him the way she smiled at me the night before. I watch them cook together in the afternoon and cuddle together in the evening.

My punishment is watching my twin brother live the domestic bliss with the love of my life that I will never ever have…and it kills me more with every day in ways that not even Rika did.

I do not condone cheating and you are a piece of shit if you ever do it in real life. No excuses. If you don’t like your partner anymore at least have the courtesy to break up with them before sleeping with someone else. Be polite.