i needed some adam

The second time Ronan hugs Adam he’s not sure if it can even be considered a hug. Adam’s tired and his muscles ache. His body is sore from working all day, moving from one job to the other. He longs for sleep, a shower, Ronan’s comforting embrace. His mind takes him back to that hug Ronan gave him in the aftermath of finding Glendower. He thinks of Ronan’s strong arms holding him up when he felt like he was falling - making him feel safe and loved. He sighs deeply, his chest aching briefly, reaching for the keys in his pocket to open the door to his lonely apartment. He wishes Ronan was here. It’s been almost a month since Ronan first hugged him, and although they can barely keep their hands and mouths off each other, hugging isn’t a gesture that occurs regularly between them. Adam wishes it was. He turns the key in the lock and pushes the door open. However, he stops in the doorway, mouth parting slightly in surprise, then slowly forming into a soft smile.

Ronan Lynch - in nothing but a pair of soft grey sweatpants - lies spread eagle on Adam’s mattress, threadbare blanket tossed aside, headphones over his ears, face calm and relaxed in sleep. Adam drops his bag beside the door, after closing it, and rubs his tired eyes as if to make sure he’s still awake and that Ronan Lynch is in fact inhabiting his bed. Briefly, he wonders how Ronan got in. But then he remembers the mix tape in his car and muses at Ronan’s sufficient lock picking skills.

Although Adam wants nothing more than to crawl into bed with Ronan, he’s in desperate need of a shower. He takes a last longing glance at Ronan before silently making his way across the room to his tiny bathroom. He pulls his clothes off and steps into his small shower, scrubbing furiously at the sweat and grease sticking to his tanned skin. Occasionally he splashes water over his face so as not to fall asleep standing under the spray of warm water. Soon enough, Adam leaves the shower and dresses in a pair of worn out pyjama bottoms that are considerably small on him - the hems ending above his ankles. Running a hand through his damp hair, Adam exits the bathroom eager at the thought of finally getting into bed with Ronan.

Tired and aching, the shower having offered only a small comfort to his sore muscles, Adam crawls onto his lumpy mattress settling himself over Ronan. Slotting himself into the space between Ronan’s parted legs, Adam slides his arms under Ronan’s back as if Ronan’s torso was a pillow, pressing his cheek against Ronan’s chest, hair brushing Ronan’s collar bone and throat. The feel of Ronan’s skin against his own, and his body heat, is both overwhelming to Adam’s senses and instantly comforting. Adam feels that similar ache in his chest from earlier. He has missed this desperately. Despite the hardness of his muscles Ronan makes the nicest pillow Adam has ever slept on. 

Just as Adam is drifting off to sleep Ronan shifts, his arm once resting above his head moves to wrap around Adam’s waist and hug him closer. Adam - mind now losing itself to sleep, good ear pressed over Ronan’s steady beating heart - doesn’t hear the rustle of Ronan removing his headphones. But, he does register the moment Ronan’s hand softly pushes his hair back, running down the back of his neck before coming to rest on his shoulder rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb. Adam mumbles incoherently into Ronan’s skin, sinking into the feeling of Ronan’s body beneath his. Ronan’s arms holding him close, keeping him warm and safe, Adam finally surrenders himself to sleep.  

[Part 1] [Part 3]

“Ronan crossed his arms to wait, just looking. At Adams fine cheekbones, his furrowed fair eyebrows, his beautiful hands, everything washed out by the furious light. He had memorized the shape of Adam’s hands in particular: The way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins; The large knuckles that punctuated his long fingers. In dreams Ronan put them in his mouth.”

4

HEY GUYS!

I keep forgetting to mention but I actually have some of my art on for sale as stickers on redbubble! If you’d like to take a look here are the links! Thank you all for your support! Hopefully I can make some cooler ones and or T-shirts!

Mercury | Emerald | Adam | Cinder

Don’t judge a Book by its cover.

You know the society you live in is really fucked up, when a stranger can judge another person based off of their portrayal of and them relating to a fictional character; when ALL the evidence points against them being a bad person and more likely you not knowing what you’re talking about.

That a person whose shown to be selfless, kind, hard-working, funny and humble can be debased by some fuckers pathetically cruel and idiotically nasty take - cause they think they know best due to his personality not conforming with societies boring bullshit and him acting differently towards people cause he’s doing his job and getting into character to give us the best performance possible, just cause he’s not being happy go lucky with every single person on set (even though Adam ‘I hate hugs’ Driver allowed John to continue hugging him even though he must have felt uncomfortable) especially the OT actors like Mark cause you’re a die-hard “fan” and can’t imagine why somebody wouldn’t… ugh.

There’s a reason Adam has social anxiety, and went/goes through depression, that he’s humble to the point of being heartbreakingly self-deprecating or that he doesn’t like physical contact- it’s judgmental fuckers like the ones going against every great thing the SW cast has said about him and in general what the themes of SW actually are - just cause they can’t get their ignorant heads out of their own backsides. It’s not a hat honey. It’s sickening, and disgusting, and it doesn’t just happen to Adam, but so many other people too. My friend’s little brother is autistic, and he is one of the smartest most awesome little lads I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing - yet people treat him differently just because he’s different from them - it makes me so angry sometimes, and sad.

I don’t like hugs, I’m introverted, I’d prefer an interesting book and a good cup of tea over conversing with other people most days; I don’t need to explain myself just to satisfy peoples self-righteous egos nor do they have a right to judge me - a person they know fuck all about or why I am the way I am.

It has become normal in our society for us to have to explain ourselves on anything and everything we say or do. Why the fuck should we have to explain ourselves? What right do you have to judge us? People, not all, have lost the ability to respect their fellow human, that we are complex creatures and you must first learn before you judge - otherwise it’s just a cycle of judgment and segregation and misinterpretation…it leads to walls between people, this can lead to hate and we all know where that leads to…suffering.

Until I was about 7, I didn’t actually know that racism, or sexism, or homophobia or discrimination or anything like that existed. It never crossed my mind, I’d always treated everyone equally and I never judged somebody on their skin color or their sexual preference/gender or the way they acted - I’m not saying I was perfect, cause I’m not believe me - I’m just saying those things weren’t concepts to me, they never crossed my mind. I found out through a history lesson on the Holocaust. Yeah. It left me baffled, asking why are humans seemingly so eager to hate one another for reasons that seemed so pointless to me? I’m still baffled to this day.

Star Wars especially has always been about hope, forgiveness and most importantly love. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. It’s about people coming together, about transcending those walls, and finding hope there in the darkness of our own reality. It’s fiction, yes, a story - but to every story there is always some truth. Our spec of time in infinity is not worth wasting on pettiness and judgmental hate. I know I’m a nobody, that my voice is just a soundless plea echoing into the endless void, but please. PLEASE. don’t be a puppet of ignorance. Our lives are our own stories and in the most basic way possible what I’m trying to say is…

Don’t judge a book by its cover.  

-  

If you got to the end of this little rant of mine, bless you for having the patience to deal with my tired queer mind. I don’t know I just thought about all the stuff going around about Adam being creepy and BS assumptions of Adam from the VF interviews, and my sadness at the hate from some antis in the tags (especially as a Reylo shipper), and needed to just release my inner rantersaurus-rex. So thank you, and I hope you took something from this that wasn’t 'wtf is this weirdo going on about?’ X) and I hope you have a lovely day and know that for all the hate in the world, there will always, ALWAYS, be people who understand and are kind. Damn that was some heavy shit, sorry guys I’m not usually like that, lmao. 

May the force be with you. 

8

i’m j u s t the latest girl you’ve been forced to share a room with

2

my sketchbook needed some opal (orphan girl) in it

DON'T HURT ARTISTS, VIDDERS OR WRITERS. INSTEAD BE A TEAM PLAYER AND ENCOURAGE CREATIVITY IN A FANDOM. DON'T BE A DICK.

I’ve noticed there’s a current trend in swen whereby certain people take the sides of a certain artist and they then attack another artist sending them hate. Hate like “why you doing stuff, xyz art is better than yours etc.”

OK so first of all the artist spends a lot of time to make what they’re making being video, gif, fanfic, photo manip. It’s a lot of time, they’ll never get back, that’s spent on giving us, as a fandom something the show never does. Last time I checked #SwanQueen is not canon so we need all the artists we can get to write and draw and manip for us Emma and Regina.

The moment you send an artist hate is the moment you hurt not only the artist but hundreds of other swen that love that person’s art. You might lot like it, but others do, so stfu, scroll past if you don’t like, but stop sending hate.

You don’t like it block the artist or move past the post, but don’t send hate. Don’t be a dick to make it fucked up for all of us. Don’t hurt real people because you have issues.

Don’t hurt artists. I swear some swen are worse than hookers and Adam and Eddie combined and I need to say some even act like fucking OUAT homophobes that try to shut us up. Why are you attacking people over their art? An art they make for a lgbt couple? Why are you trying to silence the voice of an lgbt fan that posts lgbt fanart?