i needed more hope in my life

ayahina headcanon & flowers🌸

*elevator music playing in the background*

I thought about writing this but I’m not sure if I will, so for now, I will write a small headcanon because I need to share this or it will die in my throat. 

so, we all know that Hinami is now the mischevious fairy, and she likes flowers. She likes flowers a lot. She’s also the light of Goat, bringing coffee to everyone when they are tired from work, or just offering them encouraging words to cheer them up when hope seems lost. She’s that spark of life inside a place that sometimes gets darker than death, and everyone’s faces brighten a bit more every time she’s near. So whilst everybody are working hard and making plans and being busy, Hinami likes to buy flowers and give them to everyone while no one’s looking. She would buy different types of flowers depending on each person—hydrangeas for Touka, roses for Tsukiyama, etc etc—she would place a couple flowers inside Touka’s empty cups so she would find them inside at the time of making coffee. She likes to place random flowers on Tsukiyama’s head when he’s sleeping. She gives Naki and Miza the same kind of flowers (wink wink) and hides white flowers inside Kaneki’s mask/books—which is super cool because then the mask and books smell delicious. So, one day, Ayato was kinda bored.

“Ugh, what a shitty day, there’s nothing to do.”

but Touka looks at him with that bitchy-sassy Kirishima expression. 

“There’s nothing to do, huh? then be useful for once and go buy me some coffee beans.”

“Huh? No way. Ask the four-eyes idiot to do it.”

then beautiful Hinami magically appears, hearing the conversation, and she’s like “oh! are you going out? let’s go together! I ran out of flowers, I have to buy more.”

And Ayato is like, “w-what? but—”

Hinami grabs him by the arm, dragging him out of the store and Touka huffs, staring at the way Ayato follows Hinami with no objections. She sighs, resuming her work, while Ayato follows an eager Hinami way to the flower shop. Once they arrive, Ayato blurts out a sigh and says “ugh, Hinami… what are we even doing here…”

but Hinami keeps walking and taking a closer look at each flower.

“I want to buy the same flowers for onee-chan and onii-chan this time, but I’m not sure which ones should I choose.”

Ayato kinda giggles like pffff, good luck with that, and he follows her super bored because he thinks the flower shop is stupid until Hinami screams, making him jump in his place, and she grabs a flower and shows it to him super excited.

“Look! It looks like a rabbit!”

Ayato frowns, looking at the flower. It kinda looks like a rabbit, the petals imitating the large and fluffy ears, but he shrugs still. He doesn’t get it.

“So what?”

She gasps, overwhelmed.

“What do you mean by so what? It means that it’s your flower! Come on, let’s buy these instead.”

“Hina, what the hell, don’t—”

She obviously doesn’t listen, she pays for the flowers and once they leave the shop, she starts taking some flowers out of the bouquet and tells Ayato to hold the bag for a second.

“What are you doing?”

“Stay still,” she responds, and Ayato paralyzes when her hands travel to his mussed hair. “I’m gonna make you a crown.”

Ayato’s body quivers and stares at her like crazy.

“What the fuck—”

“Ayato, behave!” she scolds. She doesn’t like when he cusses. “It’s just a crown.”

He tries to pull away, snorting.

“Hinami—f-fuck… stop it, everyone’s watching us!” the boy is in pain. “I’m gonna look like an idiot!”

And people was already staring at them. 

“Okay, okay!” she gives up, sighing in frustration. “No crown. Just rabbit ears.”

“Are you fucking kidd—”

“Ayato,” she warns, looking serious as hell. “Rabbit ears.” 

After an intense gaze that lasts for almost twelve seconds, Ayato sighs, cheeks dyeing red, and murmurs a sheepish and stilled “okay.”

Hinami smiles brightly and she’s like YAAAAAAY and Ayato’s heart stops and she turns the flowers into beautiful bunny ears that decorate Ayato’s head. “You look so cute,” she finishes, proud of herself, and Ayato can’t find the courage to answer, he’s way too embarrassed to even look at her in the eyes.

They leave to buy the coffee beans and once he has forgotten that he has rabbit ears on top of his head, he looks at her.

“What about your flowers?”

“What do you mean?”

“You are picking up different flowers for everyone like a psycho. But which ones are your flowers?”

She smiles, and her fingers travel to the pretty hairband decorating her hair.

“Clovers,” she answers, like sharing a powerful secret. “I like the white four-leaf clovers, but those are hard to find, I haven’t seen them in that store.”

Ayato doesn’t reply, and once they arrive at :re again, Ayato has to deal with Touka and Nishiki mocking at his rabbit ears. 

BUAHAHHAHA, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH YOUR HA—”

“SHUT UP!” 

two days later, after staying up till late helping Miza with some stuff, Hinami went to sleep and stood in bed all day until afternoon, feeling the sunlight caressing her cheeks through the window. She blinked a couple times, sighing, and when she opened her eyes, she found a small bouquet of white clovers with four leafs on top of the pillow, right in front of her face. With drowsy eyes, her fingers grabbed the flowers, suddenly remembering her previous confession to Ayato days ago. Her heart fluttered a little, and placed the flowers against nose, smelling the sweet fragrance. 

Her lips curve into a beautiful smile as her eyes fall shut again.

Being a Druid, I try to live my life naturally.

This involves​ using herbs in almost every aspect of my life. I try to avoid pills and such when I can.

That being said, I am trying to create my own herbal smokes to help treat my anxiety and depression. I already have my first ingredient ready to go: chamomile! Now, I just need to order some mullein, lavender, and a few more things. I’m kinda excited and I hope this helps.

In the past, following my grandmother’s advice, I did try some anti-depressants and they either did nothing for me or made me feel drugged all the time. Now, we are going to try things my way. 🌿

I managed to play Verse 2. Omg! Ravus was such a badass. I kind of need more Ravus in my life now. And Ignis’s “alternate facts” comment seriously made me laugh out loud. And Ardyn is the ultimate asshat. That was a low way to make Ravus feel betrayed (though I hope he did realize the truth as pointed out by another blogger’s observation…Sorry I can’t recall the OP of that post).

I must say I’m very happy I gave myself the time to play before calling it a night. Totally worth it.

@moonlight-at-dawn I totally did what you did and took my time and broke everything. I also didn’t get a chance the first time to fully appreciate what a beautiful city Gralea once was in my first playthrough in the main game.

anonymous asked:

How's you life going these days hun ? Are you still getting high. Hope you are good.

Thanks!

And nope, my husband and I have been clean for close to a year now. Every now and then we’ll have a couple drinks but it’s pretty rare. I don’t have a problem with alcohol at all so I don’t consider it something that I need to stay away from. As long as I stay clear of all opioids and basically any hard drugs then I’m fine. Sobriety is more of a mindset than a piss test, you know what I mean. A lot of people don’t agree with me, but that’s okay.

Sobriety is personal and unique to each and every person, or at least it should be because addiction is personal and unique. Not one single thing works for everyone. And if occasionally drinking and being on methadone works for me and allows me to feel positive, be happy and work to build my life back up, then what’s the problem? It doesn’t affect anyone else so they shouldn’t care.

As for the rest of my life, my husband and I are doing amazing! We love each other very much, are extremely happy with our marriage and we’re just working to build our lives back up. We’re working towards getting some vocational training and certification then towards getting jobs, me going back to school, saving up money to move down south, eating healthier and exercising more, and working on our mental health and just trying to grow and learn more about ourselves because when you’re in an active addiction, you lose sense of who you truly are without the drugs and you stop maturing and growing as an individual. So we have quite a few years of growing to catch up on!

We’ll be celebrating 1 year clean on April 15th so don’t forget to congratulate me haha

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.