i need to stop but it's just too hard

a letter to everyone who’s ever hurt me;

i am so god damn tired of hearing “you did nothing wrong, you deserve better, you deserve so much love, i don’t deserve you.” it is engraved in my fucking head. i want to rip out my teeth and slam them into your heart so you know how it feels to cough up broken pieces of a person you once loved. because you shoved all of these words down my throat and i was convinced, maybe for once, someone felt it too. it’s like putting money in a machine, fuel me and make me work and I’ll confine to your needs. give me happiness and I’ll give you all my love. with one smile i will give you my ribs, with one touch, one call, i will personally rip my heart out with my bare hands and place it right into yours and I’ll do you a favor and ignore your trembling hands and instead, I’ll shoot you with a, “hey, how ya doing? haven’t talked to you in a while!” text cause i have never been one for subtlety or expressing how i feel. “im sorry. you deserve more, you don’t deserve that, you deserve so much love!” then why does this keep happening to me? if i deserve more, why is all of my love one sided? unrequited? why is my heart layered in stitches and still im the one who always gives. if you are so sorry why in the fuck do you keep letting me crash and burn? why in the fuck did you think it was okay to tell me you loved me and then not speak a word to me for three fucking months? i have always been one to remember everything and i remember the way your lips felt on mine for the very first time and how i was so in shock i couldn’t even kiss back but i swear to fucking god i felt my veins turn into fireworks and my body into a land mine and with one more touch i thought that i just mightve exploded and jesus fuck i don’t even know how you feel and i have destroyed myself pondering over it and they tell you that their touch means forever but all i can think about is you telling me i deserve better but if i deserve so much more why will no one reach out and give it to me? i am choking on water and drowning in my own house because i gave you the key and i trusted you with all i had but when you walked away you left the faucets on and i wondered why i just couldn’t stop crying. i think you slammed the door too hard, i think my water bill is too high, i don’t even bother to wipe my eyes because all i can think about is your smile and how it made me feel like i was finally safe but all i ever am is somewhere for people to go when they need to take refuge, and i am never a permanent home, just a quick little stop, a let’s take a break, unwind and ruin the foundation kind of stop. an “oh its okay it’ll only hurt a bit” kind of stop, an “i love you.” kind of stop but i always love more, so can you stop? i can’t stop bleeding, i can’t stop scratching myself raw, i can’t stop screaming because all i am good for is always loving more and i am so beyond tired of hearing how i deserve better, maybe i don’t want better, maybe i am ready for a fight, maybe i am fragile and gentle and cry all the time over the smallest thing because one bad thing just sends my heart crumbling but i want a love that rips me apart and maybe im already in pieces but i really wouldn’t mind if you turned me black and blue because i swear to god, no matter what, im always going to love more so i might as well just see how much i can take before i collapse on the floor and i am so tired of always being the one with the brave face and im tired of forgiving without even a slight trace of an apology and i don’t even give a shit that you don’t talk to me anymore because maybe i did deserve more and maybe i finally found it but im afraid this fire is unrequited too and i am so tired of burning one second and being ice cold the next and all i need is consistency but i get summer days filled with winter nights and i am sorry for always loving more. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen but we all know that is a god damn lie because my hearts already prepped and ready for the next gaping chest i see. // i think that’s my problem, im always one to give without them even asking for anything but i cannot stop stitching up soldiers in a war i wasn’t even drafted in.

2

I don’t know about you but I love this so. damn. much. And this is gonna turn into a Demily worship post, you’ve been warned. 

First of all, the high-five, of course, it’s their thing. But more importantly, look at David, he’s having the audience cheer on Emily. He’s the one with three successful shows, yet it’s really like she said, “You always made me feel like I was as important as you, as accomplished as you and I really deserved to be here.

We the Bones fans love to say that no other co-stars will ever be better than David and Emily (and we all know why). But it’s not just that they are the best of all co-stars in the universe, lately I’ve been thinking, does any other duo really fit the definition of co-stars? I’m not sure there are two other actors that were/are 100% equals in the same way that David and Emily were from day one. 

I think about their working relationship and friendship pretty much every day, and they never stop blowing my mind. They don’t fake anything, they don’t try too hard to get attention, they just do what comes natural to them. It’s so unique and special and genuine. And my love for them truly knows no bounds.

One and Only ( Jax x Reader)

Jax walked into your guys house, finally relived that he could now spend some time with you and Abel. With the club business lately he felt like he wasn’t spending anytime with you two and it was starting to get to him. Stress from the club was warring him down and all he needed was a break for once. Which he finally got tonight when Clay found him sitting alone with his head in his hands at the club house. Clay sent him home saying Gemma would kill him if he didn’t make sure Jax and his family were alright. Stepping into the house Jax took off his cut hanging it up by the door, then found his way into the kitchen to grab a beer. Popping it open and taking a swing Jax saw out of the corner of his a plate of food in the microwave. He smile to himself knowing you his old lady would always make sure that there was something left for him even if you didn’t know if he was coming home or not. It was just something that you always did and he loved that about you. Laying his beer down on the counter Jax made his way to the hallway were he could hear you softly singing. Looking at you made his face light up, seeing you dancing around with a sleepy Abel made his heart feel warm. This was his home, this was all he ever needed beside the club.

“He-“ Jax went to speak but you quickly put your hand up stopping him from talking anymore. You looked down at Abel and started to make your way to the crib, laying him down you softy left the room shutting the door behind you.

“Sorry it’s just Abel had a hard day today, and I finally got him sleeping” You spoke as Jax’s wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Don’t worry doll, I understand. I’m finally happy to hear your voice whether its telling me off or not I enjoy it.” You blushed at your old man kindness and push his chest back. “Darling I’m just trying to make my lady feel good”

“You need to stop” You said kidding around.

“I miss you” Jax told you cupping his hands around your cheeks now.

“I miss you too” You whispered “It’s been awhile since I saw you” Being this close to Jax was making you feel grief you never really knew how much you missed him until now. Him standing in front of you felt unreal.

“I know darling, but I’m here now. Let me make it up to you”

“How Jax?” the famous Teller smirk came across him face and his eyes fill up with lust. Taking your hand he lead to your guys bedroom where he made sure that his old lady felt loved and cared for, because after all what’s an old man without his old lady.

thanks-b  asked:

Hello Jenny, ur account is so inspiring, so that's why I want to ask u for advice. I'm really hard-working person, but I can't deal with my homework. U know I have to study all lessons and it doesn't depends on what I'll acc pass as my finals. So I was wondering if u know how to help me not starting crying any time I start doing my homework, Bc I feel like I have so much to do and tbh it's really ( I swear) impossible to do. Sorry for the typos I'm Russian tho..

QUOTES:

“Cry as hard as you want to but  just make sure that when you stop crying, you will never cry for the same reason again”.

Hi, how are you? 

OMG thank you so so much for sending me this message and it means a world to me hahaha.

Well you need to know one thing is that it’s okay to cry, to feel sad, to feel tired, sometimes. Tbh, I (everybody) have the exact same problem like you and there so too many things that need to get done and we all don’t know where to start. Maybe after you cry you will realize something (like how to do that exercise).

Here are my tips after crying (I hope that it will work):

1.  Determine/Analyze the reason why you can’t do that exercise

2. Make a list of things you need to get done.

3. Create a schedule so you know what to study!

4. You need to get a calendar or planner to see things need to get done or any tests in that week

5. If you have a test make sure that you start to learn at least one week before.

6. If you don’t understand or know how to do that exercises, you need to think first and if you still don’t know how to do it then ask your friends, your teachers, like anybody or just google it!

7. DO NOT DO ALL YOUR HOMEWORK AT THE SAME TIME, SPREAD THEM OUT (like if you have math test on Friday you should start doing your homework at least two or three days before so you will never will feel overwhelmed)

8. If you have so much things to in one day try “Touch it once” rule

9. If you have monday/anyday homework, finish it on the same day

10. Review things you just learned on the same day, the day after and on sunday

11. Take a 5-10 minutes break after 25-45 minutes study

(make sure that you are taking a break not study, and don’t do things that make you procrastinate like watching youtube/movies instead of that you show go around, do some stretching, drink water,etc.)

12. Reward yourself for working so hard

13. Don’t study in dark or in your comfort zone make sure that you have enough light, and your study space must smell good, you can also put some motivation pictures (go to my account to see hahaha ), and know need to have cup of water on your desk

14. Study with your friends can also help you too!

15. Get enough sleep and eat healthy food!

There will be more but I can remember so sorry!

Have a nice year!

p/s: my grammar is not really good:)

my probably less than extensive pros and cons list of HZD:

Pros

Facial animations

Diversity!

ARCHITECTURE (im gay for it)

gay ppl! just! existing!

a non-binary character! (im p sure)

along w that, girls flirt w Aloy and its no problem! its not awkward or sensational!

combat system is engaging and they teach it to you well

Environments! holy shit!!! i wanna be here forever

fantastic level design/ creature design

i actually rly fuckin like the leveling up structure, its v fair

crafting isnt a chore! things are accessible!

Cons

a couple graphical bugs (hardly a con tbh)

grab-able ledges are sometimes rly hard to see

i dont need this many modifications pls,,,,,stop this i have like 100 handling mods already

i wish conversations w key ppl could be expanded a tiiiiny bit

a few scenes feel rushed, but overall not too bad (compared to a certain bioware game >.>)

tbh its very hard to come up w cons bc most of them revolve around “i just want a bit more of this wonderful game in some way”

fionaisaway  asked:

Hi mama! Recently I've been questioning whether or not I'm ace and I was wondering if you could help me out?? I feel romantic attraction to others but nothing sexual (it's too overwhelming and just not for me) but I'm not sure since some people have said "I'm too young to know". What are your thoughts? P.s. I know some people don't like the new chapter but I loved it! Thanks for all your hard work <3

Okay, everyone who says “You’re too young” needs to stop. Sure, maybe you ID as ace now and as you mature you realize that sexual attraction comes to you in a way, but even if that were the case: so what? If you think ace is the label for you right now, because you don’t experience sexual attraction, for whatever reason, that’s perfectly fine! It’s not set in stone and you know best what you feel and how you experience stuff, so you fucking go! 

  • Me sending an ask when I first joined tumblr: Okay just keep it short. Be nice. They don't know you so don't go acting like you're best friends or anything. Was that too long??? Am I being hard to read or annoying right now?? Oh no. That's probably too much and they most likely don't want to read it. And my grammar is bad so I probably seem stupid and I keep using words like omg and tbh. That sounds so stupid I need to stop doing that. Ah! I can't even send this ask it's so bad--
  • Me sending an ask now: YO. WHAT UP MY HOMESLICE BREADSLICE DAWG BUDDY PAL CHUM FRIEND. COULD I INTEREST YOU IN SOME BLUEBERRY ON THSU FINE DAY MY CHUMMY CHUM?????? I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY PRETTY BUSY ATM BUT IDK THESE BLUEBERRIES ARE V GOOD TBH. WELL. HMU WHEN YOU GET THIS LOLOLOLOLOL
Ways to Cheer Yourself Up (When wanting to be alone) - 50 top things to do
  • 1. Go ON Tumblr, believe it or not, we don't care where you're from, what you do, how you're being you, as long as you are being you, you're pretty much welcomed on here. That's why i love it. Unless of course you are homophobic or judgemental or ignorant - then the people will speak for themselves, we look out for each other here.
  • 2. Read Books; escapism is a wonderful thing
  • 3. Listen to music; and no - not the sad, 'ALL BY MYSELF' type music, but the kickass songs like 'I will Survive' or 'Loser Like Me' just celebrate yourself for being awesome, because we know you are; even if others don't; especially then actually.
  • 4. Become your own superhero. Every single one of you have a talent or a dream. Follow up on that talent/dream. YOU ARE WORTH IT, and you can be whoever you want to be.
  • 5. DISNEY MOVIES. Unless you absolutely hate bursting out into song - better cut of highschool musical and glee while were at this, then Disney is the best pick me up ever.
  • 6. Watch your favourite TV shows. Remind yourself why life can be awesome. Watching your fav characters usually means you can relate to them.
  • 7. Go on walks - it's very pretty outside, and sometimes our heads can be overloaded with information or stress, I advise calming music and a nice walk outside in comfortable clothes.
  • 8. Have a diary. A friend of mine recently bought me one, and it's a godsend because all the anger, or emotions I feel, I try to put in the diary rather than putting it out on others. It also calms you down. I feel better when I write.
  • 9. Speaking of writing...if you enjoy it- WRITE. Writing is a wonderful way to escape. You can put all your emotions into your characters and they just come to life. I tend to do that when I'm stressed.
  • 10. If writing is not your thing then bake. I've actually ironically read in a fan fiction where a character would bake when stressed and try out new recipes, this character tried making butterbeer; maybe be adventurous; have a food blog or something to keep you occupied.
  • 11. Be With Your Pets - Pets are loyal creatures, and they love you, even when you're being a pain in the ass, and I hear they're very good listeners.
  • 12. Now I don't know about you, but I LOVE Musicals. If you are a musical fanatic like me and you're feeling a little down, my dears; listen to those awesome voices, because sometimes we just - need - a break (Also, if you haven't watched RENT, watch it - NODAYBUT TODAY...or Starkid...Starkid make the most funniest musical parodies, even if you don't like musicals I suggest it, and if you're not enjoying their YouTube Channel, then I'll eat my own hat).
  • 13. ASK ME ANYTHING. If you really want to talk to somebody but you don't want to talk to people you know and you just want to get things out, my ASK box is always open.
  • 14. Find a hobby. If you don't really want to talk to anybody, that's okay, sometimes we need to just have some 'me time'. In my me times, I usually deactivate from Facebook, and just focus on things that make me happy. Like; Puzzles, Sudoku, Games, writing, cooking, singing, whatever it is...travelling even. Enjoy yourself.
  • 15. Travel. Maybe being stuck in the same place is the problem, maybe you're head wants to be in a place where it can ACTUALLY THINK.
  • 16. Go Hiking. I suppose Hiking is similar to walking but if you're an outdoor person, this is a great way to clear your head and to feel fresh.
  • 17. Hit The Gym. Or even do your own exercises. I like to walk - do crunches, and I love Zumba. I love dancing. If you love being active, this is also another way to clear your mind from negative things.
  • 18. GO SEE A MOVIE!!! When was the last time you had fun? Even if it's just by yourself. You're allowed to treat yourself. Go, enjoy, be surrounded by people, even if they're strangers.
  • 19. If you like coffee, treat yourself for one at a local cafe. Who knows, you might meet your coffee soulmate in a cafe one day.
  • 20. STOP thinking Negative. Have a Pros/Cons List. Try not to outweight the Pros list with the Cons. Please?
  • You are good enough.
  • 21. Write down a bucket List, and start ticking them off. Having goals and dreams is healthy. If you have dreams, then you have a direction of where you're going.
  • 22. Get help. It's okay, if you're head is in a really bad place to reach out to people. It really is okay.
  • 23. Help others. If you're not sure what to do with yourself at all, be useful to other people less fortunate than you. Volunteer! Work with Charity, Feed the homeless, help the guide dogs association.
  • 24. Smile more. It looks good on you, believe me. Spend time with your guilty pleasures, my guilty pleasure is binge watching glee
  • 25. Please DO NOT go to a pub to drink to ease your mind, if you are going to do that, do it with a friend, or somebody close.
  • 26. Eat Chocolate. Okay yes while society says NO DON'T EAT THE FATTY FOOD. Hey; screw them. If you feel better eating a bit of junk go for it. There's nothing wrong with eating a whole pizza or tub of ben and jerry ice cream when feeling upset - just try not to make TOO much of a habit : p
  • 27. REBLOG YOUR FOLLOWERS POSTS, you might be surprised that you aren't the only one feeling the way you're feeling, you might be surprised by how much you're forgetting that hey - it's gonna be alright.
  • 28. Do something nice for your neighbour. Ah who knows, have you ever actually talked to them? Maybe they might be lonely too.
  • 29. Have a GAMES Night. A very good friend of mine loves Games. If You LOVE Games, then hell have a marathon of them. Play the sims, be in control.
  • 30. Speaking of marathons...dun dun dun - MOVIE MARATHON, I Don't Know About You Guys, But Having A Harry Potter Movie Marathon always cheers me Up. WITH FOOD Of course, and good company, but this is about cheering yourself up, so if you don't want company, that's okay.
  • 31. Draw. I love drawing too. I suppose I'm more of the creative person. There are a lot of different types of people out there, maybe you like solving things - do those fancy cube things Idk what they're called. If you are like my brother and you love Maths, then maybe you can tutor someone. On one hand you're helping someone, and doing something you like doing, just like I'm drawing because I like drawing.
  • 32.Be with kids. believe it or not, kids are the most innocent little munchkins, and they honestly don't care what you look like, if you play hide and seek with them they'll be thrilled, so long as you're nice to them, they're generally nice to you... but be warned, they tell it how it is too. I talk a bit different. The most popular thing they've said to me was "Is that why you talk funny, because of the things in your teeth?" (They've also never really seen braces before) I even had one kid determined to get me to sing 'Everything is awesome' I'll never forget that because this kid clearly didn't care how I sounded, and just wanted me to sing with her. I felt great.
  • 33. If you're into Fairy Tales, Please Please Read Chris Colfer's The Land Of Stories series 1-4. It's an amazing series, and you almost forget what world you're in once you start reading. Plus, there's more coming (I'm a little excited)
  • 34. Watch Pixar Movies. You can't go wrong.
  • 35. GO TO HOGWARTS. Harry Potter Fan? Visit - Platform 9 3/4s in London, or go to the Harry Potter World, or if you can't actually visit these sites, go on Pottermore.
  • 36. Read Fan Fiction, you might not be a harry potter fan, but whatever fandom you are in, believe me sometimes Fan Fictfion Cheer me up. I adore Glee *Don't Judge Me* and Dalton is the best thing ever. Or Little Numbers...or Both. They cheer me up big time.
  • 37. Role play. If you like superheroes or characters, go be with the crowd. I believe they have events like Comic Con, and on Facebook they even have Events for such things, go be with strangers! So long as it's safe of course.
  • 38. Write a letter to the person who inspires you most and send it. You might be surprised by an answer.
  • 39. Pick up your instrument. Don't ignore your musical talent if you do have a musical talent. Remember, you're worth it. I don't care what you've done. Pick, It Up.
  • 40. Maybe go visit your family? I know this is about 'quality me time' but if you haven't seen your family in such a long time or are at a distance. Maybe being surrounded by something familiar is what you need.
  • 41. Change Careers. If you're not enjoying what you're doing or studying, change it. I remember in highschool a teacher said you might change your job 10 - 12 times before getting it right. It'okay, you just haven't found where you're meant to be yet.
  • 42. Enter a competition - Who knows what will come from it, take risks.
  • 43. If you're a risk-taker, challenge yourself. IDK how you're going to do that, but google has some pretty good answers. Even ask your tumblr followers, they follow you for a reason after all.
  • 44. Go on a boat. Go Fishing! I don't know, it's not my thing, but if you like fishing, then hell - go out there and fish.
  • 45. Find time for yourself, are you working too much? Maybe you are working too much. You know life doesn't stop for nobody, and if you keep pushing yourself so hard, time will go so fast and you won't realise how much of that time you could have spent on your own self.
  • The world is not going to end if you treat yourself.
  • 46. You ARE Good Enough. Listen to my words. Sometimes encouragement is all we need, when people feel hopeless, or like everything's gone wrong. It's gonna be okay. I promise, just hang in there.
  • 47. Write Down Quotes that Inspire You. I have a wall of these, and of people that inspire me too, and it reminds me of the good things in life when I'm in a crappy mood.
  • 48. Find something to do. If you're not doing anything, go take up a course, research things that interest you, you might be surprised by what comes from it. Join a community that enjoys doing things you do.
  • 49. Go To The Beach - If you live in Australia like me, visiting the beach is actually really calming and me and my best friend always would go on a random drive, and drive up to a beach or a look out, and it was always calming. Enchanting too sometimes. Maybe we forget about the place we live in, and what's exciting about the place. If you're in New York, visit Broadway or The Statue Of Liberty, or if you're in London, go to the London Bridge, or the Eye, visit the Eiffel Tower if you're in Paris...just go Anywhere.
  • 50. Take a random journey. Go on a train to somewhere new, go on a road trip. You never know what's around the corner.

If ever you ask Mal what he’d do after taking care of the Institute. 

I miss drawing this kid!!! Hopefully a comic soon with Preston again; I miss drawing them together!

Random lyric starters
  • "We get in for free."
  • "Follow my lead."
  • "Now, you're one of us."
  • "You're coming with me."
  • "Kill the lights."
  • "Get used to it."
  • "You've already succumbed to me."
  • "What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?"
  • "No going back now."
  • "Was I meant to feel happy?"
  • "____ is a dreamer."
  • "People like to tell you what you're gonna be."
  • "It's not my problem if you don't see what I see."
  • "Are you satisfied with an average life?"
  • "Do I need to lie to make my way in life?"
  • "It's my problem that I never am happy."
  • "Baby, nothing comes for free."
  • "They say I'm a control freak."
  • "Nobody can stop me."
  • "It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway."
  • "I have no friends and feel I want to die."
  • "Will you be satisfied?"
  • "I want just the life I had."
  • "That doesn't sound too bad."
  • "Now that seems just about right."
  • "Life is short."
  • "When you're done, you're done."
  • "We're on this earth to have some fun."
  • "That's the royal guarantee."
  • "I've worked hard for everything I've got."
  • "That's the way it's supposed to be."
  • "What you give is what you get."
  • "Maybe you think that you can hide."
  • "We're enemies."
  • "You're like a drug that's killing me."
  • "You're still in my head."
  • "I love your lies."
  • "Come with your arms raised high!"
  • "Nobody cares if you're losing yourself."
  • "Am I losing myself?"
  • "So long..."
  • "Well, I don't remember."
  • "Do you have the keys to the hotel?"
  • "I won't go down by myself."

anonymous asked:

so my best friend (who's also gay) is the first person i came out to. she ended up being my first kiss (which she knew and made it so special) & my first love & we ended things before they got serious & she's with a girl now & says it'll always be her & i meant something but not really. but one time we were making out & she stopped me to tell me "i love you" but denies it ever happening & everyone says she looks at me different from everyone else &now all we do is fight bc of it and i'm torn :/

Thats a hard thing. Maybe you just need to take some time to realize everything and to get what you want from this relationship? Try to stop fighting and try to be friends as you did before. And if you’ll give her some time and space, she will realize what she feels for you too and everything will happen by its own way

Try

Hi! Can you please do an imagine where newt finds out the reader self-harms? If not it’s fine. I understand that it’s a dark topic not many like to write for.

WARNINGS!- Mentions of cutting, Blood, old cutting scars. Can be very triggering if you are a current or past cutter


“Y/n, love, are you alright?” 

You look up and see Newts concerned face, “I’m alright Newt, just tired. I think I’m going to head off to bed.” 

He sighs and watches your retreating figure go up the stairs. Newt has noticed your odd behavior over the past few months, isolating yourself more than usual, flinching when someone touched you, he grew worried and concerned. He left the case and went to your bedroom, 

“Y/n?” He looked into your room expecting to find you sleeping, instead, he was met with an empty bed. 

“Y/n?” he grew slightly more worried, he heard the water running in the bathroom. He walked over and tried to open the door, it was locked. He knocked and still no answer, he knocked harder, 

”Y/N!” Still no answer. He took out his wand, almost dropping it as he took it out. 

“Alohomora!” 

He opens the door and sees you curled up in a ball with bloody arms. 

“Y/N! What happened?!” he rushes over to you, thinking you fell and hurt yourself but stops when he sees the blade in your hand. 

“Oh, Y/n,” he says, his voice laced with sadness. He approaches you carefully. 

“Y-y/n, can I take the blade away?” he asks softly, he reaches for the blade and you let him take it. 

“I-I’m s-sorry, Newt, y-you w-weren’t supposed find out.” 

“Y/n, why didn’t you tell me?” tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

“You were so busy with your manuscript and your animals, I didn’t want to bother you.” 

That broke his heart. “Y/n, nothing you could ever tell me would bother me. Please never think that you’d bother me. I love you so so much, and I dont want you to hurt yourself like this, I-I don’t know what you’re going t-through but-” Newt started to choke back his tears, “but, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, no matter the hour, no matter the day, no matter what’s happening. I will always be here.” 

“Newt…Why are you still even here, why do you even care? I’m such a mess, you could f-find someone better,” you whisper, completely confused on why Newt hasn’t kicked you out of his apartment and scared to meet his eyes. 

He carefully brought your eyes to meet his “Because, you are the most amazing, beautiful, loving, caring person I have ever met, and I love you so much.” He kissed you delicately like you were a fragile porcelain doll. 

‘“Can I hug you?” he asks softly, you nod your head and he wraps his arms around you and puts his chin on your head. 

You wince a little when Newt’s hand grazes over one of your newly cut wrists. He retracts his arm immediately.

“Did I hurt you?!” he asks worriedly. 

“It’s okay, Newt, they always sting afterward.” He puts his arm on you, making sure to avoid your wrists and arms. 

“C-can I see them? Your scars, I mean. If not, then that’s completely okay,” Newt asks, slightly awkward. 

You nod your head and timidly show him your arms. Your arm had a mix of new and old scars, there were thin, faint white lines, barely noticeable at first glance but still there. Then there were healing scars, light brown in color, those scars were going to fade. Plus there were the new ones, blood still trickled out from the open cut. 

Newt gently runs his thumb over the old scars and stares at the new ones. You began to feel insecure you scars and pulled your arm away. 

“Y/n, you don’t have to be self-conscious about your scars. They’re beautiful, just like you.” 

“Thank you, Newt, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Y/n. Can you promise me that you will talk to me when you feel this way again? And please try to stop cutting, I know its hard, but we’ll work through it, please.” 

“I’ll try for you, Newt.” He kisses your forehead and picks you up off of the bathroom floor. He gently lays you on your bed and he sits and strokes your back, singing a quiet lullaby, 

“You’re the best thing I never knew I needed. So when you were here, I had no idea. You the best thing I never knew I needed, so now it’s so clear, I need you here always.” He watches you fall asleep, and he leans down and kisses you on the cheek. 

“Goodnight love.”


Oh boi do I love Angst ALSO, Please feel free to talk to me if you feel this way. Life sucks but all of us can get through if we help each other 

You know what, at this point i’m just so fucking bored of captain swan storyline, like it’s not even about its problematic side (which needs a long essay tbh), but  i’m just…so not impressed?  meh like what the fuck are they trying to do w this ship? it’s just getting boring each ep,

it’s like the writers are trying so hard to throw some angst but it’s just too cheap and makes no sense, and it’s getting ridiculous and old and embarrassing omg

like for example, there’s a thing that’s been bothering me for a while

i mean

we know this happened right

n s5a was basically like this

but then in s5b she’s like

same

like plz, stop trying to write angst for them, you’re doing it wrong

“Furuya and Sawamura aren’t the same”

I never came across “Furuya hate” until a couple fo days ago -when I started to follow new people- and I had to read that sad words: Furuya and Sawamura aren’t the same.

You are right OP, they aren’t the same.

  • While Eijun learnt to play baseball with his friends, Furuya was playing by himself.
  • While Eijun had people wanting to play baseball with him, Furuya had no one to play with.
  • While Eijun got Rei to scout him for Seidou, Furuya studied hard to get on the same school so he could play with Miyuki.

Of course they are not the same. But they do have things in common:

  • Both work on their weakness (so don’t you dare to say “only sawamura works hard” because Furuya works hard TOO and if you haven’t notice that I have no idea what manga are you reading)
  • Both respect each other (Not a single time Furuya thought he was better than Sawamura)
  • Both are important for the team. Both. 

I’m not making this post too long -I could but I won’t- because there are a lot of good posts with the same and more info. I just needed to get this out my of chest. 

It’s 2k16… stop with the nonsense hating on Furuya for the love of GOD. 

Madoka Magica {Sentence Starters}
  • "As far as I'm concerned, the sooner you decide, the better."
  • "It's an example! I'm not talking about anyone!"
  • "What did you do after I left yesterday?!"
  • "Well, let's say I'm glad you're going into it with that spirit."
  • "When I get scared or hurt, there's no one I can talk to."
  • "Are you positive you've never met her before?"
  • "I've been thinking really hard about all the different wishes I could make."
  • "You're both girls! Girls can't love girls!"
  • "If we die and no one remembers us, I guess that's just the way it is."
  • "Come on, think about what you're doing!"
  • "You shouldn't be here! This has nothing to do with you, so stay back!"
  • "I don't wanna hear this crap anymore!"
  • "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
  • "You're in no position to question my help. Or do you just hate the idea of it?"
  • "It's still really hard to figure out what I'd wish for."
  • "The anime character in you is popping out, too!"
  • "I don't deserve it. You need a better role model."
  • "The motive behind a wish is what matters most, you know?"
  • "It doesn't make any sense, does it?"
  • "This isn't supposed to be fun. What we're doing is very dangerous."
  • "You look ill. Is something the matter?"
  • "It's like they're impressed I know about that stuff."
  • "Cut it out. Stop torturing me already."
  • "Why won't you trust me? Can't you see I just want to help you?"
  • "I finally figured out what I want to wish for."
  • "Don't underestimate this stuff. This ain't a job anybody can do."
  • "You look like someone who's given up on everything."
cute michael smut

i don’t usually write things like this…

“babe where are you going?” I watched as she flung a sweatshirt over her head and searched through her purse.

“the pool, why?” she pulled the sleeves down over her hands as she looked over at me.

“nothing. Just wondering” I smirked up at her.

“I’ll be back in a few, okay?”

“yeah that’s fine, have fun cutie”

She swung the hotel room door open and ashton was standing there with his fist in the air about to knock. y/n stepped aside letting him in. Ashton sat himself down next to me on the couch and stole one of my pillows.

“where are you going looking like that y/n?” ashton chuckled.

y/n rested her hand on the door handle with a confused look on her face, “the pool?” raising her voice on the last syllable making it sound more like a question.

“like that?” he snorted

“piss of man” I nudged ashton’s leg with my foot to get him to stop.

y/n tilted her head slighty to the side, something she often did right before she felt like crying.

“what are you-“

“babe, you’re okay. Go have fun at the pool” I tried to encourage her.

“but…what’s wrong with my outfit?” her brows furrowing together

I threw a stern look at ashton, begging him not to answer but he didn’t even glance up at me. He grabbed the chip bowl and grabbed a mouthful of chips, stuffing his face.

“you could go to the north pole like that” he eyed her up and down.

“fuck you ashton” she half-heartedly yelled and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

“try being a little more sensitive next time, you douche”

“whatever dude”

“get the fuck out” I tried my best not to get angry but how could I keep it in? y/n was my girlfriend and she means the world to me. I hate it when others try to put her down because in my eyes she’s perfect.

Ashton groaned and got up, leaving the room to go find calum or luke to play video games with.

I wasn’t too sure where she would have gone but I had to find her. She had always had self-esteem issues and was always so insecure about her weight. That’s why she chose to wear baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt to go to the pool.

I left the room and walked down the long monotonous hallway and turned the corner just to find y/n curled up in the little alcove. Her legs were pulled up into her chest and her head buried into her knees. Her long hair was sprawled out over her legs so I couldn’t see her face.

The soft sobs gave me the hint that she was crying.

“sweetheart”

She didn’t budge. She clung tighter to her legs. I stood over her, thinking of how small she looked all curled up in the corner. She looked so vulnerable. All I wanted was to protect her.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my long arms around her shoulders, leaning her into me. She tucked her head into my chest and cried. I soothed her hair down with my hand, softly whispering to her, “please don’t cry y/n. you’re okay. I’m right here. Don’t listen to him. You’re perfect and I love you.”

“I’m so ugly and fat” she mumbled into my shirt

“no you aren’t y/n! you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in the entire world.”

She let out a deep sigh in frustration, not believing a word I said.

“look at me babe” I pulled her head away from my chest. Her cheeks were a slight tint of red and I could see the tear streaks going down her face. I tried wiping the wetness away with the pads of my thumbs. Then I brushed some strands of hair behind her ear.

“I have never seen anyone as perfect as you in my life. I love you y/n. I love your cute little face, I love how you always smell like vanilla, I love when you scrunch up your nose when you laugh really hard, I love the way your eyes sparkle when we’re watching your favorite movie. I really love your body too. You’re so huggable.”

“that’s only what you think. Everyone else thinks I’m worthless and stupid”

“stop that. Why the fuck should it matter what anyone else thinks? Its just you and me babe. I love you and I think you’re beautiful. That’s all we need”

“I need a hug”

“c’mere darling”

I stood up, holding my hands out to help her up. She happily took my hands and scooted up, wrapping her arms around my torso. She went on her tiptoes and rested her chin on my shoulder. My hands found their way under her heavy sweater to her back and rubbed small circles. Her skin was so soft and I couldn’t get enough.

“I love you y/n”

“I love you too mikey”

I turned my head and kissed the side of her face. I peppered kisses all over her face, along her cheeks and on her chin, up to her forehead. One last kiss was placed on the tip of her nose and she let out a soft giggle. It was so adorable the way she laughed like that.

I was the first to pull away but I kept my hands locked on hers. Slowly, I walked her back to our room. As I slide the card into the lock I looked up at her. Her hair was a little disheveled, but her eyes were finally dry. And let me tell you, she looked as beautiful as ever. I was lost in a daze staring at her beauty.

“micheal…the door”

“oh right, sorry haha”

I kicked the door open and led her in first, like a gentleman. y/n stepped inside and sat on the edge of the large bed.

I opened my mouth in attempt to give her some comforting words as I locked the door.

“can we-“ it was as if the voice was caught in her throat, unable to form any words and finish the sentence.

“what would you like baby girl?”

“love” she trailed off, looking down at her feet. Nothing more was said because I knew exactly what she wanted and what she needed.

She stood up and I joined her by the end of the bed. I softly placed my hands on her shoulders, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. My tongue traced along her mouth attempting to part it but she didn’t let me in.

“babe” I groaned, moving my hands down to her hips

“nuh uh” she shook her head from side to side

“you’re going to have to let me in eventually”

She giggled and backing up onto the bed. I soon followed, hovering over top of her. Her hands tugged at the bottom of my shirt and tried pulling it up over my head for me but I put my hand over hers, stopping her.

“you first” I kissed her passionately. I guided her upper body so she was now sitting upright and I pulled the sweater up over her head. Fortunately her shirt stuck with it and came off too. Her hands immediately came in front of her chest to cover up her body and stomach. I pulled her hands away “I need to see all of your beauty y/n.” smiling up at her. Reluctantly she loosened her grip.

I left open mouth kisses on her front, starting at her shoulders and making my way down her stomach.

“you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on y/n.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else but you”

I reached behind her and unclasped her bra, flying it across the room. I held one of her boobs in my hand and massaged it as gentle as I could, making her moan in response. I attached my lips around one of her nipples and sucked on it for a bit, letting it harden in my mouth.

Once I was satisfied with the work I had done, I looked up at her, “please don’t ever feel like you aren’t enough. I need you y/n”

you’re insecurreeee, don’t know what forrrr

i think a big part of feminism needs to be realizing that guys have feelings too and we HAVE to stop bullying them just because our culture forces men to hold everything in and act like everythings fine, its not their fault hypermasculinity is engrained in our culture as the default of what men should be

its not fucking progressive to bully people no matter what their background is this shouldnt be fucking hard yall

mana-sputachu

I know i probably sound redundant saying i understand… but i do. Even when people tell me they like my art, most of the time i’m “Then why you don’t reblog it/left me a comment on the fb page?”, but ofc i NEVER say this loud. I know i have still lot to learn but i also know my shit because i studied hard for it, and most of the time it’s just my mood and low self esteem that kicks me in the gut. And you too.

You have a great talent, and stop writing because there are gross people its’… let them win. Please, don’t. It’s hard and i understand, and that’s what breaks are for. Take all the time you need once you finish with Elusive and the other one (or even between them), but remember that there are people out there that can’t wait for you to post a new story. We are a small group but we are here.

thanks… and yeah, i don’t get why your art doesn’t get as much feedback because you’re a professional and obviously very talented.