Zutarians act like Katara's romance with Aang is to the detriment of her character but somehow one with Zuko wouldn't just put her in nurturing position for an older man. I am not for Kataang but I don't think any of the show's characters would NOT put Katara in the position of a nurturer and giver. She gives too much as it is. Except perhaps Toph but Toph is twelve, confused and has parental issues. What I'm trying to ask is what does Katara gain from Zutara except acceptance.
What Katara Would Gain from Zutara
[Edited to add “Bato of the Water Tribe”! Thanks, @ adifferentcupofzutara!]
Katara would gain a partner who would help her with household duties without being asked:
Rather than someone who leaves the chores to her while he shows off for his fangirls.
Katara: Watching you show off for a bunch of girls does not sound like fun.
Aαng: Well, neither does carrying your basket.
She would gain a partner who shares parental responsibilities …
Katara: Aαng, don’t walk away from this.
Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.
And acts like a father:
Zuko: Keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as separate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole.
Rather than someone who IS a parental responsibility …
And acts like her son.
Katara: What do you think, Aαng? Do I act like a mom?
Aαng: Well, I…
Katara: Stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk!
Katara: My goodness! That doesn’t sound like our Kuzon.
Katara: I’ve been training Aαng for a while now. He really responds well to a positive teaching experience. Lots of encouragement and praise. Kind words. If he’s doing something wrong, maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction.
She would gain a partner who respects her personal boundaries:
Katara: What are you doing?!
Zuko: Keeping rocks from crushing you.
Katara: Okay, I’m not crushed. You can get off me now.
Zuko [retracts his arm so Katara can move away from him]: I’ll take that as a thank you.
Rather than someone who transgresses them.
Katara: Aαng, I’m sorry but right now, I’m just a little confused.
Katara: I just said that I was confused!
Someone who sees her as an ally:
Zuko: I can handle Azula.
Iroh: Not alone. You’ll need help.
Zuko: You’re right. Katara, how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?
And not a possession.
Actor Zuko: Wait. I thought you were the Avatar’s girl.
Someone who waits for the right time to talk:
Katara: You look terrible.
Zuko: I waited out here all night.
Rather than pushing her:
Katara: Because we’re in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about. This isn’t the right time.
Aαng: Well, when IS the right time?
Someone who understands how much she needs her family to be there …
Hakoda: Hi, Katara.
Katara: How are you here? What is going on?
And puts their needs over his:
Sokka: No, I’m staying. You guys go. You’ve been here long enough.
Suki: I’m not leaving without you, Sokka.
Zuko: I’m staying too.
Rather than someone who disappears when she depends on him …
Katara: He left.
Katara: Aαng. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone. That it’s all his responsibility.
Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.
Katara: It’s not brave. It’s selfish and stupid. We could be helping him. And I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much that we need him too? How could he just leave us behind?
And puts his needs over theirs.
Sokka: This is the map to our father! You had it the whole time!? How could you?
She would not only gain a partner who, unlike her canon love interest, sympathizes with the loss of her mother:
Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother and they could have done the same to your people.
Aαng: Just because no one has seen an airbender doesn’t mean the Fire Nation killed them all. They probably escaped.
Katara: I know it’s hard to accept.
Aαng: You don’t understand, Katara. The only way to get to an airbender temple is on a flying bison, and I doubt the Fire Nation has any flying bison. Right, Appa?
Katara: I don’t?! How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through. Me personally. The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.
Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.
Katara: But, we were too late. When we got there, the man was gone. And so was she.
Zuko: Your Mother was a brave woman.
Katara: I know.
But who trusts her to deal with anger and pain in HER way …
Rather than pestering her to do things HIS way.
Aαng: Katara, you sound like Jet.
Aαng: Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness.
Aαng: It’s okay, because I forgive you. That give you any ideas?
Aαng: Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him.
Aαng: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.
Ironically, a partner who understands that some things are more important than romance!
Aαng: Katara is in danger! I have to go.
Guru Pathik: No, Aαng! By choosing attachment, you have locked the chakra! If you leave now you won’t be able to go into the Avatar State at all!
Zuko: Stop! This isn’t about you. This is about the Fire Nation.
But who would still die for her in a heartbeat …
Rather than risk her life (and everyone’s) to retain his moral purity.
Most of all, she would gain someone who sees her for who she is:
Rather than who he wants her to be.
And who doesn’t try to change her to make her better for him.