i need to marry someone and then we can have these yes good plan

The Reason I Don’t Do Cold Readings Anymore…

by reddit user Skarjo

I don’t do ‘Cold Readings’ anymore. I don’t tell fortunes. I don’t read tea leaves.

And I do not do contact ‘the other side’.

Look, don’t judge me alright? It was an easy gig. I mean, the first time I did it, it was a joke. I did it just to impress a girl. You’ve been there right? It was something I’d read about online and I thought I’d give it a go.

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✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

A sampling of some of the many, many universes in which Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki didn’t somehow manage to avoid each other for TEN+ YEARS and are already happily married (Inspired in part by the musings of @kiaronna and @pearlo on this topic from this post):

  • In 2010, Viktor is leaving an Olympic after party because it has just more or less dissolved into an orgy and that’s not Really his scene. In this universe, he decides not to go back to his room and instead finds his way to an outdoor seating area, which is not very heavily utilized given the fact that it’s February. There is only one other person out there–an athlete with his back turned, curled up onto a bench. The lettering on his jacket says Japan.
    “Mind if I join?” he asks, and the other man turns to reveal dark hair and the deepest eyes Viktor has ever seen.
    “Oh,” he squeaks. “No. Go ahead.”
    They sit, and talk, and three hours later exchange phone numbers. Instead of going to America to train, Yuuri Katsuki goes to Russia to train under Yakov Feltsman. He takes National gold in 2011 and marries Viktor in 2012.
  • Phichit accidentally posts a video of Yuuri doing a bit of Viktor’s 2013 free skate to Instagram, instead of the hamster video he meant to post. The video makes its way through the figure skating grapevine until, obviously, reaching Viktor. Viktor immediately DM’s Phichit, begging to know who the man in the video is.
    Yuuri wakes up to six missed calls, 609 Instagram notifications, 49 texts and a DM from Viktor Nikiforov.
    “I WAS ASLEEP FOR AN HOUR,” he shrieks.
    Phichit takes complete credit for their marriage in his speech at their wedding less than a year later.
  • Through the careful and judicious saving of money for several years, and because in at least one timeline the main waterline in the onsen and the transmission on the family car don’t go kaput in the same year, Yuuri’s family is able to send him to one of Yakov Feltsman’s ice skating boot camps when he is fourteen years old.
    Viktor is there, all shining hair and huge smile and new celebrity. He has just placed at the Turin Olympics and is on his way to becoming a Russian household name, and Yuuri has been in love with him for two years already.
    “Yuuri!” Viktor coos across the ice, over the heads of the fifteen other skaters in the bootcamp. “Keep your hips even! It won’t make it so hard to turn into your Axel!”
    “Yuuri! Don’t hunch your shoulders on the spread eagle!”
    “Yuuri! Your thigh should be parallel to the ice on that sitspin!”
    “He’s incredibly skilled for his age,” Lilia tells Yakov in the back of the rink one day. “And Vitya has been behaving remarkably well, since he came here.” She fixes her eyes on Yakov, deep and determined. “He’ll be old enough to make his senior debut next year. If we groom him through his last year of juniors, he could bronze in his first GPF, or better. I want him, Yasha.”
    Yakov Feltsman is not in the habit of denying his wife those few things she asks of him.
    Yuuri Katsuki returns home after that bootcamp to pack his things and collect his dog and hug his parents goodbye.
    “I’ll take good care of him, Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki,” Viktor assures from a Skype call. “He’ll be getting the best training in the world. I even have a poodle, so Vicchan won’t be lonely during the day!”
    Hiroko and Toshiya just smile knowingly.
    Yuuri Katsuki is newly fifteen when he moves to Russia and begins sharing a condo with Viktor Nikiforov. He is sixteen when he wins his first GPF silver, and eighteen when the Vancouver Olympics roll around and he stands below his best friend on the podium and accepts silver for Japan as Viktor accepts gold.
    He is nineteen when, after five years of glances and touches and shared secrets and tears and laughter, Viktor pulls him into bed.
    “About time,” is the general consensus to that.
    They have only been dating, dating-dating, for five months when Viktor asks him to marry him.
    “I know it’s quick,” Viktor says, “but I feel like–I feel like we’ve known each other all our lives, anywa, so what’s the point in waiting?”
    Yuuri, of course, feels the same way.
  • Viktor makes a split-second decision to touch up his make-up before a press conference at the Trophee de France 2011, and as he’s patting the sweat marks off his temples hears the definite sound of someone crying.
    “Um,” he announces to the otherwise silence bathroom. “Are you okay?”
    “Yeah!” comes the answer, shrill. “I’m totally fine!”
    “You don’t sound fine,” Viktor says, and ducks his head to see which stall has feet under it. In the last stall, he sees a pair of badly-abused sneakers. He straightens up and knocks on the door. “I’ll leave you alone if you want me to, but I can–if you want, I can show you a better place to cry. Than here.”
    It takes a moment, but the door opens. The man in front of him has watery eyes and puffy red cheeks and Viktor isn’t sure he has ever found someone so beautiful.
    “Okay,” he whispers, and Viktor leads him onto the roof where instead of crying, he stares out over the skyline and tells Viktor about his home town.
    Viktor never does discover why Yuuri was crying, but he does get his phone number–and he does visit his hometown with him, a year later, to tell Yuuri’s family that they’ve decided to get married.
  • Yuuri is somehow convinced by Phichit to go out with a group after Skate America in 2013–Phichit is in his element, leading people around the city with expansive gestures and the effortless social confidence Yuuri has come to know of his best friend. 
    “You’re from this city too, aren’t you?” asks someone at Yuuri’s shoulder, and Yuuri turns from Phichit’s monologue to see Viktor Nikiforov of all people. Yuuri, distantly in the back of his mind, realizes that he didn’t see Viktor before because he is wearing a hat, scarf, and enormous sunglasses.
    “Um, not from here,” Yuuri says, trying not to squeak, “but I–we both live here, Phichit and I.”
    “But you know the city,” Viktor says, “so that means you would know a place where I can get the most disgustingly greasy food imaginable and you and I can go there and my coach never needs to know?”
    “Yes,” Yuuri says immediately, because he may be timid around most people, and especially around his idol, but he has more than enough sense to realize that His Time Has Come. “I can absolutely do that.”
    Yuuri takes Viktor to American Coney Island, where they eat loose burgers and chili fries and drink diet coke, which is the only cession to their diets.
    “Oh Yuuri,” Viktor laughs at the end of the night, a speck of chili cheese still at the corner of his mouth, “I could fall in love with a man like you.”
    And he does.
  • Celestino wins a radio lottery and receives tickets to Champions on Ice in Las Vegas–he decides to take Yuuri and a rinkmate. Yuuri’s rinkmate is nice, but he doesn’t know her very well, and he’s several years younger. She also has friends in Nevada who she wants to meet up with, and Yuuri doesn’t know anybody in the state for obvious reasons. On the first day they are there, Yuuri’s rinkmate disappears with her friends and Celestino takes his wife and goes exploring on the strip. Yuuri stays in his room and plays Pokemon and Skypes his mother.
    On the second day, Yuuri goes shopping for souvenirs for Yuuko and his family, and stares far too long at the billboard of Viktor Nikiforov’s face that is advertising the ice show. That night, he debates which of the three posters he brought with him he should bring to have Viktor sign, before deciding on none–the odds that he will meet Viktor Nikiforov tonight are practically not any higher than they were when the were on opposite sides of the world, and Celestino won’t want to wait in the long autograph lines.
    “Don’t you want an autograph, Yuuri?” Celestino asks after the show, and Yuuri thinks it’s nice of him even though they both know that the polite thing to do is say no.
    “No,” Yuuri says, staring at the long line, and continues out of the building. 
    They branch off then–Celestino has dinner plans with his wife, and Yuuri’s rinkmate is meeting back up with her friends for some clubbing.
    Yuuri is walking back to the hotel when he bumps headlong into somebody’s solid chest.
    “Oh, sorry,” they say, and steady him with hands on his shoulders. Yuuri looks up and finds the same icey blue eyes frm that billboard yesterday staring back at him.
    “Oh,” Yuuri whispers, wide-eyed. “You’re–”
    “Shhh,” whispers Viktor Nikiforov, pressing a finger to his own lips. “Don’t give it away, I’m hiding. 
    “VITYA,” someone from the alley leading back towards the ice center screams.
    “Come on,” Viktor laughs, and tugs Yuuri away by the hand. 
    It’s the spring before Viktor will cut his hair, and it flies out behind him in a magnificent cascade as they run.
    They find their way into a club, where Viktor buys them drinks and laughs and laughs no matter what Yuuri is saying, and then drags him out onto the dance floor. Yuuri has not yet met Phichit Chulanont, who will drag him to pole dancing classes and teach him how to move his hips like a weapon, but he and Viktor get by in the crush of bodies, pushing against each other.
    “I think I love you,” Viktor breaths against his neck, and they’re both three sheets to the wind, but Viktor is Russian and Yuuri is a college student and their tolerance is astronomical. They aren’t even stumbling. “I know we only just met, but I think I love you.”
    “Then let’s get married,” Yuuri blurts before he can help it, and Viktor beams.
    “Yes!” he cries. “Yes, let’s do that!”
    It isn’t hard to find a place that will marry them–even though Viktor’s signature on the certificate looks more like a drawing of a tree, and even though Yuuri’s tie ends up around his forehead halfway through the ceremony.
    In the morning, Yuuri wakes up with the worst hangover of his life, fully-clothed next to Viktor Nikiforov, and says, “We can–this happens all the time, we can have it annulled.”
    Viktor stares down at the ring on his finger, tangled hair all over one shoulder. Yuuri realizes that he doesn’t even rememer where the rings came from. How much did they cost? 
    “I would rather not, if that’s okay,” Viktor murmurs, and so they don’t.
    Yuuri carries out the rest of the year in Detroit, wearing the ring around his neck on a chain and thinking about his husband, half a world away, waiting for him.

After Palmetto, Andrew signed on to a good pro team and played there for 3 seasons before he and Neil get married bc they’re in love for legal rights or whatever

  • The fact that Andrew Minyard was married came as a surprise to literally all of his teammates.
  • There hadn’t even been an engagement that the team knew of.
  • Andrew had simply shown up after the off season with a ring on his left hand.
  • One of the new teammates, who’d had the least amount of experience dealing with Andrew was the one to ask if it was a wedding ring.
  • “What the fuck else would it be?” Andrew replies
    • probably the most some of his teammates had heard him say since he’d started playing for them three years ago
    • Everyone sits in the lounge gaping at him until  Andrew sighed and finally confirmed their suspicions, “Yes it’s a wedding ring.”
  • The captain was the first to get her act together and cleared her throat awkwardly. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.  Congrats, though, that’s awesome.”
  • Andrew just like nods in her direction
  • Another young teammate asks “What’s her name?”
  • “Or his,” says the only teammate Andrew doesn’t actually hate
  • Andrew answers “It’s none of your business.”
  • Their coach is like “While I love this enthralling discussion of Minyard’s personal life, we need to focus on what I actually pay you to do.”
  • And then they go back to focusing on exy and Andrew being married isn’t really brought up again but everyone remembers
  • UNTIL

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Secret Revealed

prompt: Combination of: · Okay now I really need to see Batmom and Batman fighting at a league meeting and someone(maybe Question?) calling out their bs, and An imagine where the justice league guy members shamelessly flirts with batmom just to rile batman up and he snaps when superman does it? He’s all like wrapping his arms around her waist and says : my wife not yours mine" and ·Can I have one on what would happen if Green Arrow sees Batmom for the first time and not knowing who she is turns to Jason -who had been standing next to him- and ask if Batmom is single?

AN: Cute and fluffy!

Words: 845


       Clark sits down in the seat next to yours and smiles, before reaching out to take your hand. You raise one eyebrow in question but don’t pull your hand back just yet. “So, I was thinking we could have dinner tonight. I know this restaurant by the sea, really nice place.”

          You bite back a laugh before looking over your shoulder to find Bruce standing just a few feet away, his eyes focused on you and Clark. He’s not the only one though, the rest of the league are staring as well.

          You lean in close and ask, “What did my husband do to tick you off this time, Kent?”

          Clark just smiles and says, “I have to write the wedding announcements for the next month because I disagreed with him over something. Plus, this also payback for all those fake fights I’ve had to endure over the years.”

          “How about I get you back on sports and I turn you down gently?”

          He grins, “I’ll take what I can get.”

          You lean back in your chair and say, “Sorry Superman, I’ve got plans.”

          “That doesn’t answer the question Hell Cat.” You turn to face Ollie, who’s grinning at you.

          You raise an eyebrow in question “And what answer are you looking for?”

          “That yes you’re single, and that yes you’re free Friday night, because I know this unbelievable little restaurant in Milan.”

          Your eyes flash to Bruce. His teeth are clenched and the look in his eyes is enough to make Jason back slowly away.

          You frown, “Sorry, I’m busy that night too.” Your eyes slide to Clark who’s trying so hard not to laugh.

          “So who’s taken up all your free nights Hell Cat?” You turn to Hal, who is leaning against the wall. “Cause when I asked you out last month, you were busy then too.”

          You take a deep breath and say, “Well you see boys, I’m married with two kids, so that doesn’t leave a lot of room for dating.”

          There’s a moment of silence before the men burst out in laughter. The few women in the room however are studying you closely. Huntress in particular has a knowing glint in her eye.

          The laughter is still going on when Question sneaks into the room. More often than not, the man would have gone unnoticed. He’s good at sneaking around, you’ll give him that. Helena’s grin just widens before she calls out, “Question.” The man just stops and turns towards his girlfriend. His hands are in his pocket, but he’s giving her his full attention. “Truth or Lie, Hell Cat over there is married with two kids.”

          The answer comes immediately “Truth. Hell Cat is married to the Batman. They have two adopted children, Nightwing formerly known as Robin, and the current Robin. They’ve kept their relationship hidden among the League for the past eight years, simply because they found it fun to mess with people’s minds. If someone were to look close however, they’d notice that the fights they put on never lasted more than twenty minutes, and they always left together. Their children find it infuriating.”

          There’s this stunned silence before Jason cries out, “Finally!” Then spins on his toes to face Green Arrow, “My mother is not single, stay the hell away from her!”

          You ignore the surprised faces of the Leaguers in favor of Question. “When did you figure it out?”

          “My second week. I noticed that your fights, while entertaining, never subtracted from the quality of a meeting, meaning it never interfered with something that needed to be done. In the case of a crisis there would be not contention on either of your parts, even if the two of you had argued about it previously. My theory was confirmed when I spotted the two of you making out in a dark corner.”

          You hear Jason groan, “Oh come on! I’m supposed to be the teenager here, not you two.” Then he turns around to leave the room and says, “If you need me, I’ll be on the phone with Nightwing telling him that everything has finally been exposed.”

          You smile as your eyes slide to the women in the room, mainly Shayera and Vixen, who are grinning at you. You grin before asking, “Yes?”

          Shayera grins, “You’ve been holding out on us.”

          Vixen nods, “All those girl’s nights out over the years, and you never told a story.”

          “Not every day a girl kisses the Batman. Spill.”

          You smirk and say, “That’s private,” before mouthing the words ‘next girl’s night out.” That seems to satisfy them.

          Standing up you stretch and walk over to Bruce. “Let’s grab our traumatized son and go home now.”

          “Grab Jason, I’ll be there in a minute.”

          You shrug and walk out of the room. Bruce turns to Clark who’s still smiling before he says, “You can have your sports section back, but you’re covering nothing but golf, chess, and badminton for the next three months.” Clark’s smile fades and all Bruce says is, “My wife, not yours.”

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

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The Final Proof

*A lot of people have come up with this theory, but it’s so perfect I had to write it down.

They say you learn the most from your mistakes. Mine came as I was watching “Murder Most Foul” and Charming said this:

I hadn’t really been paying enough attention to realize that he was talking about the sleeping curse that the Evil Queen had placed on him and Snow, so my mind immediately went to: What other curse needs to be broken? Luckily for me there is another curse that needs to be broken. Many of you know this, but it’s the curse that is keeping everyone in Storybrooke.

What we don’t realize is which part of the curse is still active. It’s not the dark aspects of the Dark Curse - that was broken by Emma as was prophesied/dictated by Rumpelstiltskin. No, it’s the other part that the pesky imp created that is trapping everyone here still.

The Savior curse. Think about it. The only reason Emma Swan is the Savior is because Rumplestiltskin made it so. In theory, Emma was no longer supposed to be the Savior after she broke the Dark Curse. Everyone was supposed to go back to where they were from, but that didn’t happen. Which means what? That portion of the curse, that tiny little drop, is a curse all in itself, and it too needs to be broken. When it is, Emma’s fate as the Savior will be broken; she will live.

Now you ask: But Emma was given the Shears of Destiny or whatever to cut herself from her fate and no longer be the Savior and she didn’t take it!

Well, we know how Rumple’s curse works right? A pair of pretty scissors wouldn’t break this curse because only one person has that power: Emma herself.

We’ve come full circle. Once upon a time Adam and Eddy pitched the idea that the curse would take seven years to fully break. Now we’ve reached that point. Once Emma breaks the Savior curse, Rumple’s spell that he placed on her life will break. Her Hero’s Journey will be complete, and she will return to her life in the real world, where no one needs her to protect them.

(I’ll come back to this in a minute)

So we know what needs to happen. Here I take it a step further and answer:

How?

It turns out that we have that answer too:


Ah yes. True Love. Here’s where I know I’ll lose half of you because “Once Upon a Time is obsessed with Captain Swan. Why can’t you see that, you’re blinding yourself, stop perpetuating nonsense, wake up blah blah blah blah.”

Well, I’m going to counter that with: Why is Emma still the Savior then? If Once Upon a Captain Swan is genuinely the entire point of this show, why is Emma still fated to die?

Answer: You can’t break a curse where you’re the Savior of the fairytale characters with one of the said fairytale characters.

Here you respond again with: “Well, Smartypants, you call yourself a Swan Queen shipper, but you’ve just contradicted yourself. You think the Evil Queen can break the curse with Emma? She’s a fairytale character too!”

Well, reader, you are very clever indeed. But shall I provide you with my next exhibit:

While it was super fun to watch, Split Queen was not just done for the optics. It was a setup for endgame. The Evil Queen may be a fairytale character, but Mayor Regina Mills (like Emma and Henry) is a completely original creation of our world. Which means, like Emma, the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White, she can live a completely normal life outside of the Enchanted Forest.

I was trying to figure out the purpose behind bringing Wish Robin Hood back, and this line really explains it:

The writers are priming us for a much bigger version of this concept. Robin is the first test of the portal system. Will it allow someone who isn’t supposed to be “real” stay in the “real world”? We know Storybrooke, by our standards, isn’t a real place, it’s a refuge for fairytale characters from many realms, so it makes sense that he passes the test in this case, but what about Regina? Will she, a person who isn’t supposed to be real, be allowed to live somewhere like Boston or New York if Storybrooke doesn’t exist. This first trial proves that yes, she will be able to because something about her is connected to our world (that thing is literally the writers themselves). They have Regina grapple with this issue- Why was wish Robin able to come here?- because she’s next, and she needs to know that she’ll be okay when she tries to stay in this world.

If Regina remains unconnected to the Evil Queen, she should be able to help Emma break the curse and remain in this reality. Will it really be True Love’s Kiss that frees Emma from the Savior Curse and sends everyone to where they belong?

I would hope.

I also hope that I’ll find $2000 on the street tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.

But it’s certainly the most reasonable solution since literally every curse is broken with True Love’s Kiss…

Have you ever wondered why there’s never been a True Love’s Kiss with Emma & her parents or Emma with Hook? Perhaps part of that is because True Love’s Kiss can only work with people who are from the same reality. Since Regina had True Love’s Kiss with Henry, that means she’s a part of his reality. Part of her belongs in our world. Emma has never shared True Love’s Kiss with Hook because he isn’t a part of her reality. He’s still a fairytale character. They can get married, she can choose that life, but that means she will remain tied to her fate as the Savior. She will always be connected to the Fairytale world. She will eventually die for them.

But if somehow, Regina Mills is Emma’s true True Love; if two “real people” who were created in this world- Emma Swan the bail bonds person, and Regina Mills the Mayor- shared True Love’s Kiss (not saying they’ll make it gay like they should) then the entire curse could be broken.

I just don’t see any other way they could go with this. The show has always foreshadowed that Storybrooke isn’t supposed to last.

We know there’s going to be a “reset” for the show…


And we know that Regina is no longer connected to the Evil Queen. Everything is setting up for the fairytale characters to return to their world.


But what happens next?

A good story always comes full circle, but the hero returns home with more knowledge and is in a better place. Odysseus goes on a crazy journey with a bunch of messed up shit but eventually makes it back home. Dorothy wishes she could experience life over the rainbow, but when she does, she learns that there’s no place like home. Harry Potter steps onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time alone, and in the last book he steps on with a family. So if in the Pilot we see Emma in her lonely Boston apartment, wishing on a star to no longer be alone, it only makes sense that the last time we see her, she’s in her Boston apartment but she isn’t alone- she has a family.

We know Henry will be a part of that family, but it’s safe to assume that Regina will be there too, because of this promise:

Unfortunately all magic comes with a price, and my prediction is that price will be that everyone forgets that any of this ever happened.

I’m grounding this theory in the fact that the last time there was a reset, that happened to half of the parties involved: Emma and Henry 

In that scenario, the Dark Curse was destroyed. The Dark Curse’s purpose was to create Storybrooke, so once it was gone, Emma and Henry forgot that Storybrooke ever existed… But everyone in the Enchanted Forest still remembered Emma and Henry because the Savior Curse still existed- they all remembered the Savior. They were able to go back and get her and recreate the bridge between our worlds because Emma was still the Savior. Once the Savior Curse is gone, everything will be wiped out. Everyone will forget that the Savior existed, and why she existed. All the fairytale characters will return to their world where their stories will play out, and all the characters from our world will begin to lead a normal life.

That life for Emma and Regina could very well be together. It’s not guaranteed, but it would certainly explain why the writers have made an effort to keep Emma and Regina apart in Storybrooke while maintaining a certain amount of tension between them- because their story isn’t meant to play out in Storybrooke. It would also explain why it’s not a topic of conversation for any of the writers or actors- it’s a major plot point,  and talking about it would be a spoiler. Lastly, Adam Horowitz said himself that they weren’t queerbaiting:

If they’re planning on having Regina be a part of Emma’s new life free from the Savior curse, then technically this isn’t a lie.

But could they make it so that Emma and Regina’s relationship is merely as platonic co-parents in the real world? Of course. But at the end of the day we would still be right: Swan Queen would still technically be endgame, and it’s still a hell of a lot better than Captain Swan.

KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK

THERE YOU GO YURI ON ICE FANDOM.

Disclaimer: this is in no way a fully comprehensive guide. This is just me trying to put together basics for people who are unfamiliar with Kazakhstan/Kazakhs to start their writing/research.

I am an ethnic Kazakh female, citizen of Kazakhstan, Almaty, bisexual, upper middle class, currently in college in the US. My experience is in no way representative of all kazakhs and Kazakhstan citizens. However, I think it’s pretty close to Otabek’s.

This is really, really long and kinda convoluted, but if you can bear it –– welcome!

Keep reading

Gladio, Iggy and Noct are on their roadtrip when they come across a bunch of cars spread across the road
Battered and smoking
Some have been flipped over the barrier, people littering the ground as well as bodies of beasts and the black sludge that’s a telltale sign of demons

All the devastation converges on one car somewhat down the incline so they decided to check it out

Theyre almost on the car when a shot rings out and only Gladio’s quick reflexes saves them as he gets his shield out and up

‘W-who goes there??’

(Full story under the cut)

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So here’s the thing.

I love the ‘Viktor lives an extravagant lifestyle and wants to shower Yuuri in rich things’ headcanon as much as the next person. I think it stems from my working class fantasies of someday marrying someone who wants to love and support me unconditionally both emotionally and financially. But who doesn’t.

That being said, I see a lot of people portraying Viktor as sitting down with Yuuri in the planning process for their wedding (And for the rest of their lives) and saying things like Ten-tier wedding cake celebrity chef catering Armani tuxes white doves all-rose centerpieces g o l d and all I can imagine–and, granted, this is just my personal view of Yuuri as a character; Yuuri who I over-identify with on a good day–is Yuuri sitting there and going HOLY! SHIT! and completely shutting down.

And maybe this is how Viktor starts off as. Viktor probably comes from money originally, and we as a fandom have discussed this to kingdom come. We’ve also concluded that even if your personal headcanon is Viktor achieving his own wealth, he’s…well, wealthy. This is more or less canon at this point. Viktor is, perhaps not necessarily The One Percent, but definitely high upper middle class, and definitely not afraid to show it.

And he’s good! So good! He’s genuine with it, he wants to spend all of his money on his fiance and his dog and their wedding and the life they’re going to build together! He wants to buy a big place to live, a house or a condo he doesn’t care, and fill it with family and love!

But Yuuri doesn’t come from wealth. He comes from a family that probably sometimes struggled to pay bills. Sometimes, he probably sat in his bedroom and listened to his parents decide whether they were going to get the car fixed, or replace the washing machine, because they couldn’t afford to do both at the same time. I have this idea that Toshiya probably got a second job to pay for Yuuri’s ballet and ice skating lessons, and that it’s probably something Yuuri felt very bad about–and still does to a certain extent.

And he’s paying them back, now. He’s winning, sometimes, and whatever he doesn’t need to feed himself goes straight back home. But then he gets engaged to literally the most successful figure skater in the history of forever.

And maybe sometimes he can’t deal?

I think that Viktor is the kind of person who would realize fairly quickly that Yuuri is uncomfortable with grant displays. Yuuri is the kind of person who doesn’t like PDA; he doesn’t hug his parents after five years away because it’s just not what’s done in his culture. Of course he would be uncomfortable with sitting next to his fiance with the wedding planner while the words filet mignon dinner come out of his mouth.

And I think it would come out to something like this: Viktor realizes that it isn’t the size or extravagance of the wedding that he wants to badly, but the symbolism. He wants something beautiful. Something lovely, and intricate, and full of meaning. Viktor has been confusing expense with significance his entire life, and I think that this is the moment where he realizes that that’s not the case.

And yes, some of those elements are expensive. Blue rose aren’t cheap, and neither is champagne. But Makkachin is well-trained and only has to be pointed in the right direction to bring them their rings–and he works for liver treats. And Phichit is a wonderful photographer for a man whose major played a background role to his skating career. And the day Viktor and Yuuri asked Hiroko and Toshiya Katsuki if they could have their wedding at the Onsen was the day that Viktor realized, truly realized, that he had gained not only a lover, a life partner, but a family. 

It’s not the wedding Viktor imagined–except, it was never going to be, because Viktor doesn’t think he ever quite imagined getting married to someone. 

Of course, the fact that Viktor spent well over their honeymoon budget is…something that Yuuri supposes he can tolerate.

So Much More

Synopsis: You are a new and upcoming superstar and during an interview, you get asked questions about the one and only Harry Styles. 

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1,050!
  1. We are hounds of God.
  2. He slammed on the breaks, his hand slamming across her chest to keep her from smashing forward
  3. This is Marcos, that’s Leo. Don’t trust anybody else in this place, and if you need something from outside, ask them.
  4. Turn your body when you punch, gives it more power.
  5. My apartment isn’t a storage facility, y’know…
  6. His idea of helping is to give you a passport and plane ticket, and tell you to stop bothering him
  7. You think so little of yourself  
  8. I don’t do secrets if they don’t benefit me anyway
  9. “What…? Are you going to jump?”
    “That’s the plan.”
  10. That’s the most sexual handshake I’ve ever seen
  11. You better watch that hand, boy.
  12. “It’s her own fault that she didn’t do anything of herself!”
    “No, it’s not her fault!”
  13. You have no idea how much you put her back.
  14. “I’m thinking of taking my old job back…”
    “Robbing people?”
    “What? No, man…”
  15. God, she’s gonna murder Chloe if she opens her mouth one more time to say something stupid
  16. I don’t care what you did, you understand? It’s not my business in anyway.
  17. Have you worked a day in your life?
  18. “No… Oh my God, tell me you didn’t…”
    “He won’t report it. The man has more warrants than I have family left.”
  19. Get a haircut you little monster.
  20. “Where you going?”
    “I have work. Meet me in library at 2?”
  21. “Are you gonna drink the whole bottle?”
    “Lost the cork, what else I’m supposed to do?”
  22. I had to threaten to kill over half of them for them to come here, but hey, nobody needs to know that
  23. “I’m sorry.”
    “No need to be, sweetheart. Are you still cold?”
  24. Their leader didn’t give much change to mistakes
  25. “Why do you say it like your pain doesn’t matter?”
    “Because at end of the day, somebody has suffered more than me.”
  26. “Are you drunk?”
    “Hardly ever.”
  27. “Why’s Marcus walking like that?”
    “He tried to do a cannonball to inch of snow.”
  28. I don’t know why I’m eating, I’m not even hungry
  29. Are you supposed to bring a present to a funeral?
  30. “How did you started working for Harry?”
    “I ran over him and he offered me a job. Easy.”
  31. Can you blow the candles next time you leave the room?
  32. Why does your voice sound like gravel?
  33. Would such a man pistol whip an eleven-year-old?
  34. You’re not even supposed to drink caffeine.
  35. Were you gonna stab me with a spoon?!
  36. This is wicked magic. It’ll bite your ass faster than you can ever imagine
  37. Is putting me behind bars not enough? You had chain me to a wall too?
  38. Keep him screaming, Nik. I want someone to call the cops
  39. The one time I need it to rain in Portland it doesn’t
  40. I wish to speak with you, my darling.
  41. “You’re gonna die alone!”
    “Everybody dies alone, you fool”
  42. why’s the woman yelling outside
  43. “Is this legal evidence?”
    “You and I have different meaning of legal, counselor”
  44. Did you manage to punch him before he got arrested?
  45. Let’s pretend we didn’t just break about sixteen laws in five seconds
  46. Any change that you can
  47. Oh shit, he’s a big fella, call Emma. I don’t wanna fight him.
  48. You want your kid back? Better confess to murder of that little girl or soon your son goes to fight a big men’s war in Uganda
  49. “Why are you sleeping on the back of the ambulance?”
    “Didn’t find any other place.”
  50. “What did you give to him?”
    “A illegal horse tranquilizer from China. Knocks you out in five minutes. I don’t know how he’s even standing anymore.”
  51. Hey fucker, my porch lights are not on! Fuck off!
  52. You managed to find a only gun store that doesn’t have Chicago’s 78 hour wait?
  53. “It’s not that easy”
    “Well it’s not that complicated either”
  54. I just inhaled chocolate cake. This is the best way to die
  55. I have to wear two sports bras to even think about exercising
  56. Where do you think I do at 2am? Taco bell, bitch
  57. I may not know your name but this won’t be your dying day
  58. The lady of modern day Edinburg pierced the knife through her heart and hoped the spell had worked
  59. That stupid grin on his face is almost enough of a reason to hit him
  60. “I read the police report, you know.”
    “Then you know what happened. So why are you bothering to talk to me?”
  61. Why aren’t they finding anything?
  62. God why the hell I’m so hungry? I haven’t done anything…
  63. “She has about four hours of air left.”
    “Who do you know?”
  64. “Why’s she’s screaming?”
    “Some kind of ritual. I think she’s a witch.”
  65. I got a headache for acting like I actually cared about his options
  66. “Why are you on my couch?”
    “I’m trying to come up with a plan to get your brother out of the trouble with Chinese mafia.”
    “Oh… Well you’re welcome to stay if you like.”
  67. I’ll call him. Let’s hope that he’s still in Barranquilla… And not in a ditch with cocaine blocking his nose.
  68. “He’s still looking for you.”
    “What does that mean? Are you in trouble?”
  69. “There’s dinner in the freezer.”
    “Ice cream is not dinner. But thanks.”
  70. Yes, I will break it, don’t let me touch it
  71. What was I supposed to think, you left giggling out of the room!
  72. I didn’t think I could fuck up so badly. I’m honestly quite amazed of myself.
  73. Don’t make the lie more complicated.
  74. “She had enough evidence to put him to jail for the rest of his life.”
    “Why didn’t she?”
    “I think part of her still believed in family that time.”
  75. I don’t wanna start begging, but I swear to God I will.
  76. How long have you waited to do that?
  77. Happy’s missing three teeth, Kevin has had his face purple for the past two weeks, and Rigg probably has lost half of his intelligence just hanging out with you guys!
  78. You can stop avoiding me, alright? I know what happened, so call me.
  79. I don’t know what your father taught you, but mine taught me how to take a beating.
  80. “You just let her walk out of the front door?!”
    “We didn’t know it was her!”
    “How the hell you didn’t know that! Her face is plastered all over the news!”
  81. “God, I don’t want to talk to you right now”
    “Well you have to. Does your shoulder hurt?”
  82. ”What the hell happened?! I though you promised not to lay a hand on him, no matter what he does!”
    ”Oh shut up. He started waving a knife around, I just made sure he didn’t poke his eye out.”
  83. I don’t know how she’s even moving after that.
  84. Don’t let me slam her face in, because I swear to God I will do it if she keeps talking
  85. “You want my jacket?”
    “This smells like weed, dude.”
    “It’s not my jacket so don’t blame me.”
  86. “Is this stolen?”
    “You want to see a receipt?”
  87. “What… Why are you checking your pulse?”
    “I just wanna make sure that I’m still alive.”
  88. I thought this was supposed to be one of those easy jobs!
  89. Don’t make it obvious that you’re an asshole, put your shirt on.
  90. You put on hell of a fight, I hope you know that.
  91. Do I get a list of rules when I go there or do I just have to be on my good side?
  92. They don’t look so happy… You think we should apologize?
  93. I don’t think you should eat something that has been in your apartment as long as that has.
  94. “Show me,” he whispered, starting to pull down the zipper of her hoodie. “It’s just a bruise…” She tried to push his hand away, but she was backed against the corner and the painkillers had stopped working, so even breathing was painful.
  95. You’re still replying my texts so it can’t be that bad
  96. “You’ve never been a man with few words.”
    “I only need few perfect words.”
    “And what are those?”
    “Marry me.”
  97. Looks like you’ve started finally to listen to me.
  98. I can feel the hair on my ass standing up
  99. I know all your dirty tricks… I know every step before you even take them
    .
    He’s my brother. I’ll always take his side before anybody else’s.
  100. When you decide to come in, there’s pepperoni pizza in the oven
  101. He seems to like avoiding you.
  102. It doesn’t matter how hurt she is, she’ll try to get up and fight. It’s her nature.
  103. I would have come to the wedding but the nurses threated to tie me down to the bed if I even try to rip off the tubes and stuff… but you know, congratulations.
  104. “Now you’re just being mean.”
    “I think the word you’re supposed to use is… a tease.”
  105. Are we just going ignore that the maniac just drank the whole bottle?
  106. She definitely has the balls to do it, no question about it
  107. I got concussion from a door. I ended up at ER, explaining that the door viciously slammed against my face, sounds great doesn’t it
  108. “How did you get mom here?”
    “I gave her two hundred bucks to stay the whole thing.”
    “What?!”
  109. If she starts to poke my chest again, I’ll walk out and leave you there to be tortured
  110. She grew up on lies. Either it was from her mother’s mouth or from the man who she always thought was her father.
  111. “Who long have we known each other?”
    “About fifteen years. Give or take. But that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
  112. Can you pull my shoulder back in?
  113. He’s going to kill you. He’s so going to kill for doing that to her.
  114. You used to be so much better at lying.
  115. Stay down! Don’t get up!
  116. “Do you believe in love with first sight?”
    “I don’t believe in love.”
  117. She had warned him and after he started pounding on Jon the third time, she didn’t think twice for making him bleed.
  118. Touch my brother and I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to move you hands an inch afterwards
  119. I know my limits. I know how much pain I can take before I pass out or can’t move. I know my body.
  120. “Nice underwear,” he pointed out with a smirk, expecting Alex to start pulling her shirt to cover herself, but she surprised him by pulling the top over her head. “Oh wow.”
  121. Are you asking for a permission? Because if so… I might just give you one.
  122. “People might just start to think you’re obsessed with me.”
    “Are expectin’ me to deny it?”
    “I might just have to start calling you my stalker then…”
  123. Prove me wrong then! Prove me that I can trust you, that you won’t fuck me over the second I drop my guard!
  124. “Can you stop sleeping in my bathtub?”
    “Why? Is so much better than the bed you made me sleep.”
  125. Do I need to tell you everything I love about you?
  126. Are you a predator or the prey?
  127. My mom found your bra in my freezer, why the fuck?
  128. I don’t remember if I ate today so… wanna go grab Thai or something?
  129. I told it was faster this way.
  130. I’m not great at driving when someone is trying to kill me!
  131. I’m gonna borrow your suitcase, mate! Your clothes are under the bed if you need them!
  132. This is not a taco. This is just disgusting.
  133. He pointed at me with a tattooed finger. “I’ll call you.” And then he was gone.
  134. “I thought you’d never drop down your guard.”
    “Consider yourself special.”
  135. You’re younger than me and you’re rocking in your rocking chair like old man
  136. “I don’t want fancy dinners or restaurants!”
    “Great, I’ll take you to the fanciest bar I’ve ever been in.”
  137. What was I supposed to do, huh? He punched me first, Bret!
  138. You’ll break your neck eventually by doing that
  139. You were literally falling while you were sleeping
  140. You used to have a longer hair than me, Phil!
  141. You look surprisingly angry while chewing gum
  142. We’re going to try push them back a bit, get Ricky to the truck!
  143. I think I might just kidnap you if you don’t get next week off.
  144. Fucking pew pew motherfucker
  145. My temper tends to land me in trouble more than often.
  146. You wanna know why she did it?
  147. She thought that maybe her nightmares would stop.
  148. You need to tell him. He deserves to know.
  149. “Brock? Where the hell are you going?”
    “Who the fuck does he think he is?!
  150. I learned at very young age that being quiet kept you alive
  151. I’m not that good with people who only disrespect me, I’m sure you understand.
  152. Of course I’m scared
  153. Her body was covered in mostly small scars and burns. The price of stupidity, her nana said. She didn’t care that much, the biggest burns on her back were mostly covered by tattoos, just like the whip scars on her abdomen and upper back.
  154. They should never put the crazy ones in the same room
  155. One thing he would never do was to stay down when somebody said so
  156. The look in his eyes was something raw and too familiar. She saw herself in him, and she hated that more than anything.
  157. They had been lucky that cops hadn’t looked in the back alley when they came to break up the bar fight. They would have had an easy arrest, the four who had started the whole fight inside were slumped in line against the brick wall of the next building.
  158. Kneeling before her were the men that didn’t believe in Gods. Her army.
  159. Just because his back is turned doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.
  160. This world is filled with more terrifying things than death
  161. You are meaningless. We all are. It’s our to change that.
  162. Don’t rely on happy endings
  163. It has been rumored for weeks.
  164. She’s a veteran in this business, she knows how to play.
  165. You’ve a have a gimmick of being a lost cause.
  166. I’d appreciate if you apologized in person
  167. Men starts wars, women end them. That’s just a fact.
  168. Every damn time I talk to you, I’m more convinced that you’re an actual alien
  169. You are just hurting yourself by doing that.
  170. Didn’t you two had enough already!?
  171. “She refused the help of the medics -”
    “And you just let her?!”
    “I didn’t think she could slip out, she couldn’t even walk by herself!”
  172. She hoisted her brother to his feet again, “You need to stop picking fights with them.”
  173. Goddammit, don’t just leave him laying there!
  174. So… this is how she spends her Fridays. Collecting debts for a mob. Nice.
  175. She decided that throwing a toaster at me was the best defense
  176. I mean she slapped him hard enough to break skin
  177. Keith! Stop shooting people in the living room!
  178. “What if I press the big red button? Will I start a war?”
    “That’d flush the toilet.”
  179. Don’t get him all fired up. I’m gonna be the one who has to calm him down afterwards
  180. You have two jobs in this family. To watch that Iain doesn’t do anything that lands him back to prison and that Shawn doesn’t disappear again.
  181. How did we ended up like this? Two against an army of thousands
  182. “Are you a coward?”
    “I’m a survivor.”
  183. Why are drinking milk out of my shot glasses?
  184. “Why is my boyfriend covered in blood?”
    “Why are you not asking him?”
    “Because he’s a lying asshole.”
  185. He cracked his gloved knuckles before knocking on her door
  186. God… stop with the undying love bullshit. Maybe there is some sort of love but nothing lost forever.
  187. “Do you even remember his name?”
    “I know it started with M, I think.”
  188. “I know you ain’t listening anything,” Johnny sat in front of her, tugging her other earbud off.
  189. With cigarette clenched between her lips, she wiped the coffee off her fingers to her ripped jeans
  190. “I don’t take no for answer, so…?”
    “That makes you sound like an asshole, you know that right?”
  191. He couldn’t help but to look at her through the mirror, she was trying her best to wipe off the eyeliner and mascara smeared on her face, she was a mess. But this woman was his mess.
  192. I don’t think it’s wise to look directly to their eyes
  193. Let’s play a game of stupid and a moron
  194. She laid on the hot concrete, blood dripping down her cheeks. Her temper had gotten her into a fight, was that a surprise in anyway?
  195. How far are you willing to go to convince that you’re alright?
  196. I don’t have a bra on, please don’t make me run.
  197. Can you stop smiling when people hurt you? It makes you look like a crazy maniac
  198. Allan lifted Sam with ease up to the table, tangling his fingers in her hair. “You are more stupid than I thought,” he whispered, running both of his hands through her hair.
  199. They watched the man carefully, like he was a time bomb ready to explode
  200. Wake up, kid. I need you to wake up, I can’t carry you if you don’t.
  201. She picked up a man twice her side. That’s power
  202. Didn’t anybody teach you not to taunt a trained MMA fighter
  203. “Your father wouldn’t want this.”
    “He probably doesn’t wanna be death either, so does it really it matter what he would have wanted from me?”
  204. “Are you lying?”
    “Through my teeth.”
  205. You wanna do this here or do we go somewhere were your friends can’t see me murder you?
  206. I’m not sure why you seemingly needed to share your weaknesses to me, but God… You made a huge mistake.
  207. I’m sure that this will backfire on me, but let’s pretend that we don’t know that already
  208. How the hell are you so pale? You live in Florida!
  209. I don’t think they should be here. They just manage to get into trouble.
  210. God that sounded better when I was rehearsing it.
  211. She wanted to forget the shit of a life she had
  212. Would it be such an immensely horrible thing if I just accidentally hit him?
  213. Past is supposed to stay in the past, especially her past.
  214. Just keep him angry. Please do that to me, I want to see him finally explode.
  215. “Pendejo!” Rosa shouted, slamming her hand flat against the table. “You have some serious problems!”
  216. Right information is very important in this line of work, son.
  217. “Fuuuck! We’re so damn late from his bullshit party!”
    “Oh shut up, we are only fashionable late.”
  218. Put your seat belt on. No? I ain’t driving anywhere before you do.
  219. Why the fuck did you bring your kid? I’m not babysitting!
  220. I think my hair is dying
  221. “Where are you?”
    “South of Houston, why?”
    “John left me to fucking Taco Bell, I need a ride.”
  222. My ass has feelings!
  223. If I found drugs on your brother’s room, can I keep it?
  224. Who the fuck put soy in my coffee?!
  225. That is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever seen.
  226. “I’ve have a vivid imagination.” He purred in her ear.
    “Then you can survive few more days…” she whispered back, pushing him away.
  227. Shit, she’s quicker than I thought…
  228. Cut her loose, her hands are turning gray
  229. You keep avoiding the subject. It a simple question, and I just need an answer.
  230. Ricky had lost his legs in Iraq, but still every time the national anthem came on, he propped himself up a inch or two.
  231. I know you have a high tolerance of pain, but this is ridiculous!
  232. That woman is as crazy as they come.
  233. He hadn’t expected for Mia to lunge forward, every intention to break Seth’s arms. Joe managed to step between them before her fist would bash against the younger man’s face, he had to pick her up from the ground as she almost hit him to face. V
  234. “You can’t handle me,” she purred, her fingers sliding to inside his jacket pocket, with intentions to grab his wallet. Hank was only smiling, grabbing her by the wrist, “Maybe I don’t want to.”
  235. Vinny had told many lies in his life, and only about two out of every fifteen had some truth in them.
  236. She hadn’t even realized she was angry before Tyler wrapped his hand around her lower back, leaning down to ask if she was alright.
  237. Is he old enough to play paintball? Or maybe laser tag?
  238. Alan watched as she wiped the sweat off her face, eyeshadow and eyeliner wiping down to her cheeks. “You enjoy staring at me?”
  239. I don’t think I did anything wrong
  240. He hadn’t seen her smile in the two weeks he had been here, but now that she did, it was one of the prettiest things that he had seen.
  241. Wes had curled himself in the smallest ball that the 6 feet 5 man could
  242. “You’re naked.”
    “Good eye, darling.”
  243. He looked great in the tailored Dolce and Gabbana suit, shame that he would have to die in it
  244. Sometimes the worst decisions lead to best outcomes
  245. ”What counts as medical emergency?”
    “Your whole body is a medical emergency!”
  246. What were you expecting? She’s a kleptomaniac
  247. You can cut off her arms and legs, but she won’t stop.
  248. She had found a perfect place between the top of the lockers and the ceiling, it was great place to sleep.
  249. I think we might just be alright..
  250. She might just be your worst nightmare
  251. Sascha gave a grimacing smile before clearing his throat. “We will consider your offer.”
  252. She circled her hand over the small back of the eight-month old, whose face had turned bright shade of red from endless crying. “Kiddo…”
  253. “Were you trying to break his back?”
    “To be honest I was trying to get him off my ass.”
  254. Sid plucked the cigarette from Colby’s lips, dropping it to the half-full wineglass. “Keep taunting me…” she leaned down to whisper in his ear from behind, “And I’ll make sure that your tongue is cut off.”
  255. Bastian lived on the edge. Quite literally. He lived in rusty van on edge of a cliff, maybe hoping that someday the car would drop to the rocks and he would be inside
  256. Thank God for waterproof makeup….
  257. This is for everybody who never supported me. Because I didn’t need you in the end.
  258. She didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t any more about not wanting show weakness or pride. She just didn’t want to be sad anymore

Big shout out to @ofpoemsandprompts!​

Dialogue Prompts

So, I really want to start writing on this blog, too. So I made a prompt list.
Not all prompts are mine, some are stolen from another blog. 

I will be writing for the following fandoms:

  • Harry Potter
  • Criminal Minds
  • Supernatural
  • Shadowhunters/ The moral instruments
  • The hunger games
  • Divergent
  • The maze runner
  • Grey’s anatomy

Okay, that isn’t too much. I’m still catching up on other shows. Once I’m finished, I’ll add them. You can ask for any character x reader, or character x character. If you want a platonic one-shot, you should note that. You can ask for as many prompts as you want. 

Dialogue prompts:

  1. “I have always loved cacti.” 
  2. “You didn’t just say that.” 
  3. “Whoa-dude. Look at that!”
  4. “Just because I died doesn’t mean I’m really dead.” 
  5. “Just because I drove into that river doesn’t mean I’m a bad driver.”
  6. “You walked into a knife?”
  7. “How did you manage this level of stupidity?” 
  8. “You locked me outside!” 
  9. “I’ve always been there for you. And I will continue to be.”
  10. “Do you trust me?”
    “Not even a little bit.” 
  11. “Uhh, is something wrong?”
    “What? Hehe! Of course not, why would you think that?” 
    “Because I can smell something burning and you’re hiding behind a door. Now, let me in.”
  12. “Here’s a newspaper filled with all the love I can’t feel.”
  13. “You know, people may like you more if you didn’t smell like a dead body.”
  14. “Aww, sweetie. Where are your parents?”
    “I’m older than you.” 
  15. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child.”
    “Don’t throw the scissors!”
  16. “Here, take my jacket/blanket.”
    “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivers*
  17. “Why are you still awake?”
  18. “Come over here and make me.” 
  19. “The salad here is really nice.” 
    “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  20. “Please don’t leave me.”
    “I don’t want to.”
  21. “You can’t ride a bike?” 
    “Why are you whispering?”
  22. “We’re going downtown.”
    “There’s a strip club downtown.” 
  23. “You broke what?!” 
    “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  24. “Come Inside. I’m sorry.”
    “Not until an apology.”
    “I just said i’m freaking sorry.” 
  25. “Are you jealous?”
    “You are changing your outfit right now.”
  26. “Why did I marry you?” 
    “It took a whole lot of convincing.”
  27. “Luck? Nope. Skills.”
    “If it’s skills then do it again.”
  28. “You said forever!”
  29. “Seven fucking years and that’s all you have to say?” 
  30. “I love you, but I have to go.” 
  31. “I hate you so much.” 
  32. “You were and still are my everything.”
  33. “I can’t love you the way you want.” 
  34. “Hey jerk.”
    “…”
    “I mean… Babe?”
  35. “Admit it. That was the best kiss of your life.”
    “You always have to be the best at everything, don’t you?”
  36. “S/he just tripped and won’t stop laughing.”
  37. “Nice dancing you did there, how about you dance your way to my bedroom?” 
  38. “No, no. It’s okay. I’ll be your bridge. You can walk all over me.”
  39. “I’ve looked after coma patients more interesting than you.” 
  40. “Would you mind not setting my stuff on fire every time you get mad?”
  41. “This really didn’t go as planned.”
    “Is it the fact that everything is on fire that made you come to this conclusion?”
  42. “I can’t believe that worked.”
    “It was part of your plan.”
    “I know! My plans never work!”
  43. “You need to go! I’ll distract them!”
    “Do you think you can outrun them?”
    “If by outrun them you mean not getting caught… Probably not.” 
  44. “If you asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  45. “You’re too good for this world.”
  46. “I can hardly stand myself.” 
  47. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.” 
  48. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.” 
  49. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  50. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.” 
  51. “Who did this to you?”
  52. “If you kill them, you better kill me too. Because if you don’t, I will kill you.”
  53. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  54. “Do you ever follow directions?”
  55. “What happened?”
    “I got hit by a taxi. And it hurt.” 
  56. “She’s cute. But I’m pretty sure she can’t count to ten.”
  57. “I can fit a whole row of crackers in my mouth. Want to see?”
  58. “You said that if I went to bed early I’d feel better. You’re a fucking liar.” 
  59. “You’re late.” 
    “I’m glad you noticed.”
  60. “You made me cookies?”
  61. “You stole what?”
  62. “You aren’t pathetic.”
  63. “you looked at me different.”
  64. “I am not pregnant!”
  65. “You ever seen something as cool as this?”
  66. “I thought you were dead!”
  67. “I know you love me and all, but could you stop threatening the doctor?”
  68. “How. The fuck. Are you- so motherfucking tall?”
  69. “You? You know how to shoot a gun?”
  70. “You threw a tampon at him?”
  71. “You just kissed me.”
  72. “Hold up-just-just stop. just-what are you exactly doing? It’s two AM!”
  73. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
  74. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.” 
  75. “You don’t need to protect me.”
  76. “Sorry I ruined your life. Maybe you shouldn’t have married me.”
  77. “If I would’ve known he was going to die, do you think I would’ve done it?”
  78. “I know you love me, but I’m tired of lying when I say it back.”
  79. “When I look at you, I see my world. And that scares the living crap out of me.”
  80. “Tell me what they did to you, please.”
  81. “I’ll go home. But it isn’t home when you’re not there.”
  82. “I’m pathetic because I go to you for everything but you’d pick someone over me any day.”
  83. “I wish I could hate you.”
  84. “I’ll let you down. I’ll always let you down. I’m not enough to keep you satisfied.”
  85. “I’m trying! Can’t you see? Isn’t that enough for you?”
  86. “I’m useless to you now.”
    “You’re a person. Not a toaster. You don’t have to have a use.”
  87. “i’m useless to you now.”
    “Oh please. You were always bloody useless. I love you anyways.”
  88. “I saw you roll skating, and I thought ‘that person is really cool’ and then you fell crashed and Jesus, are you okay?”
  89. “You had this big ass ice cream and you were so exited you dropped it and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sadder person. Just please let me buy you a new one.”
  90. “We keep awkwardly running into each other and people have to ship us and I kind of like you. Hahaha, oh god, I need to stop blushing.”
  91. “This was a terrible idea.”
    “What are you talking about? There’s free nacho’s!”
  92. “Don’t do the thing!”
    “…”
    “You already did the thing, didn’t you?”
  93. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”
    “… I paint fruit.”
  94. “Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.”
    “Agreed.”
  95. “Did you seriously run face first into a light pole because you saw a pretty girl?”
    “I’m gay.”
  96. “How dare you talk to me, peasant. I am your queen.”
    “You are wearing a blanket over your shoulders.”
    “Silence! Now, fetch me some substances.”
    “Pizza bites or mini quiche?”
    “Pizza bites, obviously.”
  97. “Quit your whining! I bet it’s barely even a scratch.”
  98. “That-that’s your blood?! Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
  99. “This is going to hurt but you have to stay quiet, okay?””
  100. “Don’t pass out, we’re almost there.”
  101. “That’s it. If you throw up one more time, we’re going to the hospital.”
  102. “You didn’t feel that? This is bad, you should’ve felt that.”
  103. “I’m scared to move you. Just wait here and I swear I’ll come back with help.”
  104. “That’s a lot nastier than it seemed at first glance.”
  105. “Please don’t die. Don’t die in my lap, I’m begging you.”
  106. “Stop being overdramatic-OH!”
  107. “Just how I want to spend the night. Removing glass from my best friends head and strapping it up.”
  108. “She has internal damage. Sh’s couching up blood.”
  109. “Would it be cliché if we matched clothes a little?”
  110. “Could you hold my hand?”
  111. “Shh, shh. I’m here now. Now give me your hands, we need to clean the blood off. Don’t cry. -I don’t blame you. Don’t worry, Ill always be there for you.”
  112. “If you want to leave then-”
    “I don’t want to leave! I want you, you idiot.”
  113. “Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.”
    “I swear to god, if I didn’t love you.”
  114. “Oh my god! Go to sleep! It’s three AM!”
    “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
  115. “There’s a surprise waiting for you back home.”
  116. “The first time I met her, she was hiding behind the sofa.”
  117. “But this is our thing. Eating cereal and bitching about people.”
  118. “Just don’t let go.”
  119. “Come on, just one date.”
    “No.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I really like (character) and she asked me first.” 
  120. “Gosh! Why are you so cold! get off me, you icicle!”
  121. “Are you…. crying? You? Miss/mister ‘I don’t cry, I’m tough as hell”?”
    “Oh shut up, we all have our weaknesses.”
  122. “You did all this for me?” 
    “No, I did this for Jeffery from across the street. Yes I did all of this for you!”
  123. “Okay, so don’t freak out, but I got flour everywhere.” 
  124. “Well, this is a nice change of scenery.”
    “Y/n, we’re in a prison cell.”
    “I was being sarcastic.”
  125. “I thought you said you knew where we were going.”
    “Yeah, I lied.”
  126. “Shit, you’re freezing. Let’s get you warmed up, alright?”
  127. “Shut up.”
    “I didn’t say anything.”
    “I don’t care. Shut up.”
  128. “Where are we going?”
    “I have no idea. You coming?”
  129. “Did you just try to banish me?”
  130. “I swear to you, this is how I found him.”
  131. “No thanks. I don’t want to get arrested for the second time today.”
  132. “You handled that real professional.”
    “I know right? I’m so proud of myself.”
  133. “That was the worst night ever.”
    “Same time next week?”
    “Of course.”
  134. “I got to admit, you’re really sexy with that gun. Terrifying, but sexy.”
  135. “Just-just go away.”
    “I would! If we weren’t handcuffed together.! Oh, and whose fault was that again? Yours!”
  136. “And I thought we were going to have a last kiss.”
  137. “I don’t want you to leave.”
    “I don’t want to stay.”
  138. “When did you stop?”
    “Stop with what, darling?”
    “Loving me.”
  139. “Please don’t say you love me because I might not say it back.”
  140. “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, and I’m sorry.”
    “No you’re not. You don’t care about anyone apart from yourself.”
  141. “Don’t hurt me, please.”
  142. “I love you so much. If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
  143. “You only like me for my body!”
  144. “You wanted to talk? Well, here I am!”
  145. “I tried. I tried so hard, why couldn’t you?”
  146. “I bled for you. From every pore of my body, I bled. What more do you want?”
  147. “Nobody can tell me what to do.”
    “Well, actually they can.”
    “Doesn’t mean I’ll listen to them.”
  148. “Knock knock, I’m here. What’s for dinner fucker?”
  149. “You’ve bitten off more than you can chew.”
    “I can chew a lot.”
  150. “You have blood on your hands!”
    “Oh really? Wow! Thank you so much for pointing that out! Really helpful to our current situation. Seriously, thank you so much for brining this to my attention!  I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
  151. “I love your perfume. What scent is that? The scent of death?”
  152. “I always carry a knife in my purse in case we’re eating cake.”
  153. “You guys got a plan, though. Right?”
    “Yeah. Run.”
  154. “Maybe he’s afraid of me because I know how to use a knife.”
    “Well, I mean that’s why I’m afraid of you, so…”
  155. “Is violence always your answer?”
  156. “Remember how I said I already took care of that? Well, I lied and need your help right now.”
  157. “Please, help me. Just this one time.”
  158. “Did you break that glass on purpose?”
    “It offended me.”
  159. “I can explain!”
    “Alright then. Tell me.”
    “… I lied, there’s literally no explanation for this.”
  160. “Fight like hell.”
  161. “Do you realize how let it is?”
  162. “Can you please come and get me?”
  163. “Is there a reason why you’re naked in my bed?”
  164. “This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in!”
  165. “If we die, I am going to kill you.”
  166. “I love her.”
    “Her? As in a woman?”
    “No, as in a robot. Of course as in a woman you ding-bat!”
  167. “Are you drunk?”
    “No, you’re just blurry.”
  168. “I think we should run away now.”
    “Funny, I was just about to say that.”
  169. “I will not let you make me feel small. Back off.”
  170. “You’re great at dancing.”
    “I’m great at everything.”
  171. “You didn’t do the dishes, so I’m not doing you.”
  172. “Don’t give me that look.”
  173. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”
  174. “I love you, you asshole.”
  175. “What the hell kind of noise was that?”
    “I sneezed.”
    “That was not a sneeze.”
  176. “How is she?”
    “She’s fine. She has some ice cream. I wish I had ice cream.”
  177. “This is an apology pizza.Please take it or I’ll start crying right now.”
  178. “You’re stronger than you look.”
  179. “If you push me on the swings, I’ll buy you dinner. Don’t push to high, though. I don’t like heights.”
  180. “Wait, you’re gay?”
    “What gave it away? Constant flirting?”
  181. “You came back.”
  182. “Mom? I need help… I’ve made a mistake.”
  183. “So, this is haw it’s going to end. You’re staying with them?”
    “I have to.”
    “You don’t have to betray me. You don’t have to do anything.”
  184. “I’m trying to be less bitter, but your happiness isn’t rubbing off on me.”
  185. “Take of your shirt.”
  186. “You’re sweet.”
  187. “I’ve never felt this sensation before.”
    “Hugging?”
    “Being loved.”
  188. “Do you not realize how much I care about you?”
  189. “I know I’m allergic to peanuts, but I could’t day no when you walked into the office with freshly baked cookies and that damned smile on your face.”
  190. “I like it when you smile.”
  191. “This isn’t what I had in mind, but it’s better.”
  192. “Nothing is wrong. I just really like the smell of your lotion.”
  193. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?”
  194. “How long has it been since you’ve slept?”
  195. “You make a good pillow.”
  196. “I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
  197. “I hate you. I hate you so much for making me love you. Why did you make me love you if you never intended on loving me back?”
  198. “When you think of me, if you think of me, remember how much I loved you.”
  199. “I almost lost you.”
  200. “Please, just please make the pain stop.”
  201. “Stop telling me you’re okay.”
  202. “I don’t even know who I am without you.”
  203. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
  204. “You know, it hurt when I realized you weren’t in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”
  205. “You left without saying goodbye. I hate you for that.”
  206. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  207. “What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say that there’s no one else you could ever be with, and that you’d rather be alone than without me.”
  208. “You’re beautiful/handsome, and I’m not the only one who can see that.”
  209. “Twins?… We’re having twins?”
  210. “You are so tiny compared to me.”
  211. “Bring your pretty little butt over here.”
  212. “I want you body. I want your mouth. I want your laugh and your funny faces. I want your friendship and your inspirational thoughts. And I want you to come with me when I go.”
  213. “There’s a leaf in your hair.”
  214. “May I have this dance.”
  215. “This bath is too damn hot.”
    “This is why we can’t do cute stuff. You complain to much.”
  216. “One day you’ll learn.”
    “Learn what?”
    “That someone like me doesn’t get a happy ending. Those are reserved for people like you.”
  217. “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”
  218. “If you don’t rest, you wont heal.”
  219. “ Why don’t they just kiss already?”
  220. “Is that a challenge?”
  221. “Here, let me see.”
  222. “How could anyone love me?” 
    “Don’t look at me. I married you for your cooking.”
  223. “So… Err, I noticed you’re kind of naked. Is that intentional, or…”
  224. “You forgot me.”
    “It was an accident.”
  225. “Drag your chair here, I can’t translate dead languages.”
  226. “Open this.”
    “Can you say please?”
  227. “Don’t say you love me unless you mean, it because I might so something crazy like believe it.”
  228. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
  229. “I was wrong. I thought I wanted him to look twice at me… Bit I don’t need him to look twice at me when you never stopped looking.”
  230. “I’m fine.”
    “You don’t look fine.”
    “Then stop looking.”
  231. “Things didn’t have to end like this.”
    “But we always knew they would, didn’t we?”
  232. “She’s dead! And it is your fault!”
  233. “Are you going to lecture me about how wonderful life is?”
  234. “They’d be better off without me.”
    “Do you really believe that?”
  235. “It’s okay to cry.”
  236. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”
  237. “The axe is a bit unsetting, but honestly, you look great.” 
  238. “You asked me if I had any ideas. Not if I had any good ideas.”
  239. “Remove your hand or I’ll rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.”
  240. “So, I just realized… I’ve been shot.”
  241. “Delete it. Now.”
  242. “Could you guys do me a favor?”
    “Anything.”
    “Could at least one of you look like you are ever going to see me again?”
  243. “Don’t make me smack you in front of these people.”
  244. “I’m not a bitch. Okay, I’m lying, obviously.”
  245. “Can you get the gun out of my face, please?”
  246. “I don’t scare easily, you evil bitch.”
  247. “She’s been in there for hours and I haven’t heard a sound since.”
    “That’s because she left through the window.”
  248. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” 
    “Not until four.”
  249. “Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there.”
  250. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
    “Actually, it’s more like eight.”
    “Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”
  251. “You passed out for like an hour.”
  252. “This is my ‘I don’t care’ face.”
  253. A: “When I’m not here, do you braid each others hair and debate who the coolest Jonas brother is?”
    *B and C glance at each other*
    B: “No… But it’s totally Nick.”
    C: “Definitively Nick. But Kevin is the talented one.”
    B: “Yes, but Nick is the cute one.”
    C: “What about Joe?”
  254. “Do you know how to braid hair?”
  255. “Babe, I’m sorry.”
    “Suck my ass.”
  256. “What’s your favorite lipstick?”
    *Rambles about lipstick*”What’s yours?”
    “The one you’ll be adding to my lips.”
  257. “You could at least pretend to be interested in what I have to say.”
  258. “I always blame others for my mistakes. Just kidding, I don’t make mistakes.”
  259. “I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.”
  260. “Go to your room!”
    “First off, we share a room. Secondly, I am the older one. Bitch.”
  261. “I promised I’d safe you.”
    “I promised I’d kill you if you did.”
  262. “You did what?!”
  263. “I thought you were going to steal a boat?”
    “What do you mean, This is a boat.” 
    “No, no. This isn’t a boat, this is a motherfucking yacht!”
  264. “I wont die for you. I’d kill for you.”
  265. ^^^add your own! ;)


These are a lot! I hope you find one or maybe a few you’d like to request! 

slightlied  asked:

hi spooks!! viktuuri high fives for the touch prompts? i just think that's so??? Hilarious??? *morooka voice* and here we have the most romantic lovers to ever grace the ice executing a..............high five

I…might have gone in a slightly different direction with this???? oops. 


Katsuki and Best Friend Coach Victor Nikiforov to remain Coach and Student as Nikiforov Returns to Skating

Nikiforov shocked the skating world when he abruptly retired earlier this year and moved to Japan to coach Katsuki Yuuri. Their hug at the Cup of China made waves in the skating community—showcasing a deep affection between two friends. Two very good friends. Definitely just friends. No one is quite as skeptical of Nikiforov’s decision now that Katsuki’s broken his coach’s record and taken home silver.

At the press conference after the medal ceremony, Nikiforov expressed his desire to return to the ice while remaining Katsuki’s coach…

Click to read more


“I’m suing them for libel.” Victor would rip the paper in half but he needs to make sure he can still read the columnist’s name so he can savage them over the phone. And television. And Twitter—especially Twitter. “Did they not see my ring?”

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That’s My Girl

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: Jensen breaks your plans for the evening but he makes it up to you.

Prompt: “That’s not a good enough reason to get married.”

Characters: Jensen x Reader

Requested: @arryn-nyx


“I can’t believe you’re bailing on me!”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you, Y/N!” Of course Jensen subjects you to his dazzling signature smile, the one that reminds you of kittens and rainbows and all of that corny shit.

He drags you in for an insanely tight hug as if that will make your moodiness disappear. Well, the joke’s on you because it’s starting to work. Damn his perfect physique. How are you supposed to stay pissed when an attractive man who smells delicious is touching you? 

You gather up enough super strength to shake those distracting thoughts away. There’s no way in hell that you’re letting him off the hook this time. Nice try, buddy.

But Jensen’s only wearing a thin, white t-shirt, allowing you to feel every one of his god damn muscles. Fuck. The man knows what he’s doing, his hotness has gotten him out of more than you’d like to admit. To be fair, it definitely works both ways. All you have to do is bite your bottom lip and he’s fucking putty in your hands. Silly boy.

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anonymous asked:

Hey so i read one of your works on Ao3 and it was super adorable and i loved it, it was about stiles and derek sharing a broom closet of an apartment in nyc and cuddling thier way through their issues with eachother and then you wrote a hashtag epilogue, and i can't stop thinking about how much i wanted the epilogue to be another story so i figured i'd ask, my names scarletwaters on Ao3, ok bye and thank you if you decide to write it :)

little spoon

I had given absolutely ZERO thought to writing a sequel to this, and then I read your message and the ideas started flooding in. Go figure.

also on ao3

*

Being Derek’s boyfriend goes surprisingly well for a whole year. They move out of the tiny “apartment” into a slightly less tiny apartment. They continue to spoon; they become spooning masters; they are the gods of spooning. Stiles gets the best sleep of his life, and so does Derek. The non-sleeping aspect of the whole dating thing takes a bit more time to iron out, sure, but they get there. Slowly but surely, they figure out how to hold hands on the couch while watching Netflix without getting weird about it. They figure out, to their mutual relief, that endearments weird them both out, but there are other little things they both like even if they’d never admit it on pain of death, such as forehead kisses. They figure out how to do the whole shower sex thing without serious injury. Stiles also finds out Derek is awesome at cooking, when he can be assed to do it. Stiles figures out a lot of very creative ways to motivate him.  

All in all, awesome.

Then…. well, then It happens.

It’s been about a year and three months when, one day, Stiles happens to see Derek coming out of a jewelry store.

He wasn’t following Derek or anything, he wants the record to be very clear on that; it’s just, they were going to meet up at the Chinese restaurant on the corner for dinner, and Stiles got there early. Usually Stiles doesn’t arrive early anywhere ever, but this time one of his classes got canceled at the last minute and he suddenly had all this spare time, and so he went ahead and snagged them a table at the restaurant.

That’s where he is when it happens, just people-watching out the window and contemplatively sipping his oolong. That’s when the door to the jewelry store across the street opens and Derek comes out, head down, busy tucking a suspicious little black box into his inner jacket pocket, and Stiles spits out his tea all over the table because what the fuck.

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Tyren, Tyren, Tyren................

A shit load of people keep asking for my opinion on Tyren. Instead of answering all the different asks, I’m just going to put it in a post , to answer all the questions about them, at the same time. So, here it is…

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Prompt List

1.“Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2.“Can I buy you a drink?”

3.“Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4.“You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

5.“If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

6.“No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

7.“Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8.“This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9.“I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

10.“You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

11.“Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12.“Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13.“I am way too sober for this.”

14.“You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15.“Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

16.“That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

17.“Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

18.“I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

19.“This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

20.“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

21.“Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

22.“What are you afraid of?” “You.”

23.“It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

24.“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

25.“Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

26.“You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

27.“It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

28.“You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

29.“I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

30.“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

31.“Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

32.“Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

33.“I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

34.“Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

35.“I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

36.“Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

37.“We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

38.“Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

39.“I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

40.“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

41.“Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

42.“You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

43.“She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

44.“I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

45.“How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

46.“I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

47.“I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

48.“You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

49.“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

50.“What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

51.“I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

52.“Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

53.“I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

54.“You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

55.“Why are they afraid of you?”

56.“Literally everything about this is illegal.”

57.“You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

58.“Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

59.“I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

60.“It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

61.“You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

62.“Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

63.“Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

64.“I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

Made of skin and bones

(not my gifs!)

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics

Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?

Tags: at the end


1.Wolves   2.Chess   3.Holy water  4.Hold me


5. Market day

It’s a sunny day and the streets of your city are exactly as you love them: full of life. People chatting animatedly next to stands full of fruit from which their grangers boast, children running through the crowd and mothers behind them yelling to the kids to behave. Inhaling deeply you are pleasantly surprised by the sweet smell of your favorite buns fresh from the oven. Decided, that will be your next stop.

Just  before you mislead the two guards James especially chose to follow you around all day, of course.

Looking at them from the corner of your eye you see how bored they are, one of them can’t stop yawning while the other seems to want to nail himself with something sharp just to feel something. You smile to yourself, that’s part of your plan. You’ve been wandering around the market for hours, looking around, buying here and there but not really doing anything interesting, just making the two poor soldiers dizzy and waiting for they to get their guard down, so you can “get lost” and visit Nat once for all.

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“His Wedding” Part 8

Summary: Modern-Day (AU) Bucky and you are exes. He moved on but you couldn’t since you both are still friends, he asks you for a favor - a ridiculous one. You reluctantly agree, not thinking of the future consequences you’ll have to face. You just hope everything will be fine. But it doesn’t always work out, does it?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (lol told ya’ll not to get used to it)

Word Count: 2

Warnings: i !!! did !!! that !!! this is where the real angst begins

Author’s Note: a question: who do you picture Lily as? I have always thought of Emma Stone. let me know in the comments! :)

there might be some typos since i edited this in a hurry :0

‘His Wedding’ Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Things turn up the way they do for a reason. And when after that eventful night, Steve kissed me and said he’d call me later to fix a date, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. Nonetheless, I was pretty excited too. 

Our first date was pretty subtle. Spending a whole day at the Coney Island with Steve. As cheesy as it sounds, we both thought it was perfect. Of course like a good date, Steve won me a giant stuffed elephant (which took up most of the part of my living room and had Nat nagging me about it for at least a week now). We shared popcorn and cotton candy, and like two little cheeseballs, even make out a bit on the top of the Ferris wheel. Steve didn’t let go of my hand for even a second. It was perfect and I could see more of these kind of dates happening in future.

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