i need to know who thought of this

Things Kriesberg Says...

Here’s just some quotes from Supergirl’s Executive Producer to mull over as the Sanvers break-up looms!!

- Thought it’s funny to ‘start the Alex/Sara shippers going’ in 2016′s crossover by teasing the two as a potential ship, showing a complete disregard for the character of Maggie…who’s at all surprised that, one year later, Alex and Sara are actually going to get together as some cheap hook-up, ever so conveniently happening during sweeps? 

- Said in December 2016, whilst knowing full well that Floriana Lima was only contracted for one season:  “I don’t think people need to worry that suddenly this relationship is going to go by the wayside. It’s going to have it’s ups and downs, but we’re committed to Alex and Maggie — we’re as committed to Alex and Maggie as the audience is.”

- Talked about writing Maggie ‘out as a regular’…as opposed to writing her out altogether with this upcoming break-up but, kindly offering us some comfort that she doesn’t die..

- Described Maggie’s homophobic father who kicked his 14 year old daughter out because she was gay as ‘not always the most sympathetic figure’

Feel free to add!! And I’m not even getting started on some of the other shit that the execs of this show have said about Maggie/Sanvers…

Speaking of Jason Isbell, I want y’all to know that every time Harry and Louis are MIA at the same time, I’m constantly singing “Cover Me Up” from Jason’s Southeastern album and dying inside.

And the old lover’s sing
“I thought it’d be me who helped him get home”
But home was a dream
One I’d never seen till you came along

So [boy], leave your boots by the bed
We ain’t leaving this room
Till someone needs medical help
Or the magnolias bloom
It’s cold in this house and I ain’t going out to [get Starbucks]
So cover me up and know you’re enough
To use me for good

anonymous asked:

I’m kinda questioning my sexuality (f) and it’s really confusing cuz I know a like guys but like girls are rlly cuteee??????

Question, question, and question some more. It’s okay to be confused and it’s good to question! You know yourself best and you don’t need to rush to conclusions quickly. Self-meditate and take some time for yourself. Sexuality can be confusing and sometimes it’s scary to suddenly realize that you might not be who you thought you were all your life. Take care and best of luck!

anonymous asked:

So does TERF stand for something? I honestly don't know. I thought they were just exclusionists.

TERF stands for trans exclusive radical feminist.

They do not see trans women as women, and goes as far as they can to call them ‘predatory men’, and believe they are somehow encroaching on women’s spaces. 

They also believe trans men are just ‘lost women’ and need to be ‘saved’ by them. They have also been known to call trans men ‘confused lesbians’.

They’re just horrible news, and I’m by no means calling all lesbians TERFs, of course. I just put that on there, because when I say lesbian, I want people to know I do NOT mean TERFs, and I include trans lesbians. -mod Jay

The little sister of my best friend had tried to kill herself for the second time tonight, the first time I was there and I helped her because I knew how to talk to her (because most of the time to understand you need to know). And this time in place of helping her, her family is screaming at her and making her feel worse by telling her she’s dumb and hitting her. I’m so mad right now, because I realized I was lucky enough for no one to ever find out about my suicidal thoughts and attempts because I saved myself and no one had to understand me. There is so much more people like us and the problem is that they never find someone who can understand them, so I want to make a shout out to all the people who attempted suicide as a call for help but decided do to it and succeed because the people around them pushed them to it by making them feel worse about themselves.

anonymous asked:

Okay I know this is largely a Gwenvid blog but I read that 'I will pretend to be your loser boyfriend for free Thanksgiving food' post and all I could think of was adult Jasper putting out that ad in order to get some free food (and largely just for the sake of the potential chaos), and Gwen, having been guilt tripped into going to North America's Most Uncomfortable Thanksgiving at her parents' house AGAIN and dreading it, seeing it and deciding to get herself permanently dis-invited.

OH MY GOD I LOVE JASPWEN SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW EVEN THEM BONDING PLATONICALLY IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME THERE IS NOT ENOUGH JASPWEN IN THE WORLD THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SHIPPING ANYONE WITH GWEN IN THE WORLD I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO SEE GWEN AS A PLAUSIBLE ROMANTIC OPTION BUT ESPECIALLY JASPWEN I REALIZE THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN MEANT AS A SHIPPING THING BUT PAL I WENT THERE*

(Also you’re actually not the only one who’s thought of that! @hopefullypessimistic84 sent me the same idea, and I love that people know our/fanon interpretations of Jasper and Gwen enough to picture them doing that, because they so fucking would.)


*Sometime I should go into how long Hope and I spent trying to figure out how Jaspwen would work. We knew we wanted the OT3, because she loved my Gwenvid and I loved her Jaspid, but for a really long time all our headcanons were centered around how the two of them would interact with Davey, more like a V than a triangle. And then I think I was like “hey uhhh let’s make Jasper and Gwen have more of a relationship” and it’s about 95% centered around memes and bad television and if more people cared about it I’d write a 20-page dissertation on how those fuckers bond but no one loves our Jaspwen baby and now I’m rambling.

shaladin safe space

please reblog this if you’re pro-shaladin, or at least are not anti-shaladin. i need to know that there are more of us out there, shipping and multishipping and seeing shiro happy with his paladins. also i want more shaladin-positive blogs to follow.

this blog is a shaladin safe space.

8

I think I can deal with it, but I kept going through it. Until one day only a few years ago, I thought I cannot deal with it. This is holding me back in life. This is not how I’m supposed to be and I want to overcome it. So I looked back at my life, at the things that may have made me this way that I could change the baggage that I was holding on to and said, “I don’t need you anymore!

It’s so important to know you should be happy and proud of who you are. (x)

Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully - in Ten Minutes

by Stephen King
(reprinted in Sylvia K. Burack, ed. The Writer’s Handbook. Boston, MA: Writer, Inc., 1988: 3-9)

I. The First Introduction

THAT’S RIGHT. I know it sounds like an ad for some sleazy writers’ school, but I really am going to tell you everything you need to pursue a successful and financially rewarding career writing fiction, and I really am going to do it in ten minutes, which is exactly how long it took me to learn.  It will actually take you twenty minutes or so to read this essay, however, because I have to tell you a story, and then I have to write a second introduction.  But these, I argue, should not count in the ten minutes.



II. The Story, or, How Stephen King Learned to Write

When I was a sophomore in high school, I did a sophomoric thing which got me in a pot of fairly hot water, as sophomoric didoes often do.  I wrote and published a small satiric newspaper called The Village Vomit.  In this little paper I lampooned a number of teachers at Lisbon (Maine) High School, where I was under instruction.  These were not very gentle lampoons; they ranged from the scatological to the downright cruel

Eventually, a copy of this little newspaper found its way into the hands of a faculty member, and since I had been unwise enough to put my name on it (a fault, some critics argue, of which I have still not been entirely cured), I was brought into the office. The sophisticated satirist had by that time reverted to what he really was: a fourteen-year-old kid who was shaking in his boots and wondering if he was going to get a suspension … what we called “a three-day vacation” in those dim days of 1964.

I wasn’t suspended. I was forced to make a number of apologies - they were warranted, but they still tasted like dog-dirt in my mouth - and spent a week in detention hall. And the guidance counselor arranged what he no doubt thought of as a more constructive channel for my talents. This was a job - contingent upon the editor’s approval - writing sports for the Lisbon Enterprise, a twelve-page weekly of the sort with which any small-town resident will be familiar. This editor was the man who taught me everything I know about writing in ten minutes. His name was John Gould - not the famed New England humorist or the novelist who wrote The Greenleaf Fires, but a relative of both, I believe.

He told me he needed a sports writer and we could “try each other out” if I wanted.

I told him I knew more about advanced algebra than I did sports.

Gould nodded and said, “You’ll learn.”

I said I would at least try to learn. Gould gave me a huge roll of yellow paper and promised me a wage of 1/2¢ per word. The first two pieces I wrote had to do with a high school basketball game in which a member of my school team broke the Lisbon High scoring record. One of these pieces was straight reportage. The second was a feature article.

I brought them to Gould the day after the game, so he’d have them for the paper, which came out Fridays. He read the straight piece, made two minor corrections, and spiked it. Then he started in on the feature piece with a large black pen and taught me all I ever needed to know about my craft. I wish I still had the piece - it deserves to be framed, editorial corrections and all - but I can remember pretty well how it looked when he had finished with it. Here’s an example:

(note: this is before the edit marks indicated on King’s original copy)

Last night, in the well-loved gymnasium of Lisbon High School, partisans and Jay Hills fans alike were stunned by an athletic performance unequaled in school history: Bob Ransom, known as “Bullet” Bob for both his size and accuracy, scored thirty-seven points. He did it with grace and speed … and he did it with an odd courtesy as well, committing only two personal fouls in his knight-like quest for a record which has eluded Lisbon thinclads since 1953….

(after edit marks)

Last night, in the Lisbon High School gymnasium, partisans and Jay Hills fans alike were stunned by an athletic performance unequaled in school history: Bob Ransom scored thirty-seven points. He did it with grace and speed … and he did it with an odd courtesy as well, committing only two personal fouls in his quest for a record which has eluded Lisbon’s basketball team since 1953….

When Gould finished marking up my copy in the manner I have indicated above, he looked up and must have seen something on my face. I think he must have thought it was horror, but it was not: it was revelation.

“I only took out the bad parts, you know,” he said. “Most of it’s pretty good.”

“I know,” I said, meaning both things: yes, most of it was good, and yes, he had only taken out the bad parts. “I won’t do it again.”

“If that’s true,” he said, “you’ll never have to work again. You can do this for a living.” Then he threw back his head and laughed.

And he was right; I am doing this for a living, and as long as I can keep on, I don’t expect ever to have to work again.



III. The Second Introduction

All of what follows has been said before. If you are interested enough in writing to be a purchaser of this magazine, you will have either heard or read all (or almost all) of it before. Thousands of writing courses are taught across the United States each year; seminars are convened; guest lecturers talk, then answer questions, then drink as many gin and tonics as their expense-fees will allow, and it all boils down to what follows.

I am going to tell you these things again because often people will only listen - really listen - to someone who makes a lot of money doing the thing he’s talking about. This is sad but true. And I told you the story above not to make myself sound like a character out of a Horatio Alger novel but to make a point: I saw, I listened, and I learned. Until that day in John Gould’s little office, I had been writing first drafts of stories which might run 2,500 words. The second drafts were apt to run 3,300 words. Following that day, my 2,500-word first drafts became 2,200-word second drafts. And two years after that, I sold the first one.

So here it is, with all the bark stripped off. It’ll take ten minutes to read, and you can apply it right away…if you listen.



IV. Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully

1.  BE TALENTED
This, of course, is the killer.  What is talent?  I can hear someone shouting, and here we are, ready to get into a discussion right up there with “what is the meaning of life?” for weighty pronouncements and total uselessness.  For the purposes of the beginning writer, talent may as well be defined as eventual success - publication and money.  If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn’t bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.

Now some of you are really hollering.  Some of you are calling me one crass money-fixated creep.  And some of you are calling me bad names.  Are you calling Harold Robbins talented?  someone in one of the Great English Departments of America is screeching.  V.C. Andrews?  Theodore Dreiser?  Or what about you, you dyslexic moron?

Nonsense.  Worse than nonsense, off the subject.  We’re not talking about good or bad here.  I’m interested in telling you how to get your stuff published, not in critical judgments of who’s good or bad.  As a rule the critical judgments come after the check’s been spent, anyway.  I have my own opinions, but most times I keep them to myself.  People who are published steadily and are paid for what they are writing may be either saints or trollops, but they are clearly reaching a great many someones who want what they have.  Ergo, they are communicating.  Ergo, they are talented.  The biggest part of writing successfully is being talented, and in the context of marketing, the only bad writer is one who doesn’t get paid.  If you’re not talented, you won’t succeed.  And if you’re not succeeding, you should know when to quit.

When is that?  I don’t know.  It’s different for each writer.  Not after six rejection slips, certainly, nor after sixty.  But after six hundred?  Maybe.  After six thousand?  My friend, after six thousand pinks, it’s time you tried painting or computer programming.

Further, almost every aspiring writer knows when he is getting warmer - you start getting little jotted notes on your rejection slips, or personal letters…maybe a commiserating phone call.  It’s lonely out there in the cold, but there are encouraging voices…unless there is nothing in your words which warrants encouragement.  I think you owe it to yourself to skip as much of the self-illusion as possible.  If your eyes are open, you’ll know which way to go…or when to turn back.

2.  BE NEAT
Type.  Double-space.  Use a nice heavy white paper, never that erasable onion-skin stuff.  If you’ve marked up your manuscript a lot, do another draft.

3.  BE SELF-CRITICAL
If you haven’t marked up your manuscript a lot, you did a lazy job.  Only God gets things right the first time.  Don’t be a slob.

4.  REMOVE EVERY EXTRANEOUS WORD
You want to get up on a soapbox and preach?  Fine.  Get one and try your local park.  You want to write for money?  Get to the point.  And if you remove all the excess garbage and discover you can’t find the point, tear up what you wrote and start all over again…or try something new.

5.  NEVER LOOK AT A REFERENCE BOOK WHILE DOING A FIRST DRAFT You want to write a story?  Fine.  Put away your dictionary, your encyclopedias, your World Almanac, and your thesaurus.  Better yet, throw your thesaurus into the wastebasket.  The only things creepier than a thesaurus are those little paperbacks college students too lazy to read the assigned novels buy around exam time.  Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word.  There are no exceptions to this rule.  You think you might have misspelled a word?  O.K., so here is your choice: either look it up in the dictionary, thereby making sure you have it right - and breaking your train of thought and the writer’s trance in the bargain - or just spell it phonetically and correct it later.  Why not?  Did you think it was going to go somewhere?  And if you need to know the largest city in Brazil and you find you don’t have it in your head, why not write in Miami, or Cleveland?  You can check it…but laterWhen you sit down to write, write.  Don’t do anything else except go to the bathroom, and only do that if it absolutely cannot be put off.

6.  KNOW THE MARKETS
Only a dimwit would send a story about giant vampire bats surrounding a high school to McCall’s.  Only a dimwit would send a tender story about a mother and daughter making up their differences on Christmas Eve to Playboy…but people do it all the time.  I’m not exaggerating; I have seen such stories in the slush piles of the actual magazines.  If you write a good story, why send it out in an ignorant fashion?  Would you send your kid out in a snowstorm dressed in Bermuda shorts and a tank top?  If you like science fiction, read the magazines.  If you want to write confession stories, read the magazines.  And so on.  It isn’t just a matter of knowing what’s right for the present story; you can begin to catch on, after awhile, to overall rhythms, editorial likes and dislikes, a magazine’s entire slant.  Sometimes your reading can influence the next story, and create a sale.

7.  WRITE TO ENTERTAIN
Does this mean you can’t write “serious fiction”?  It does not.  Somewhere along the line pernicious critics have invested the American reading and writing public with the idea that entertaining fiction and serious ideas do not overlap.  This would have surprised Charles Dickens, not to mention Jane Austen, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, Bernard Malamud, and hundreds of others.  But your serious ideas must always serve your story, not the other way around.  I repeat: if you want to preach, get a soapbox.

8.  ASK YOURSELF FREQUENTLY, AM I HAVING FUN?”
The answer needn’t always be yes.  But if it’s always no, it’s time for a new project or a new career.

9.  HOW TO EVALUATE CRITICISM
Show your piece to a number of people - ten, let us say.  Listen carefully to what they tell you.  Smile and nod a lot.  Then review what was said very carefully.  If your critics are all telling you the same thing about some facet of your story - a plot twist that doesn’t work, a character who rings false, stilted narrative, or half a dozen other possibles - change that facet.  It doesn’t matter if you really liked that twist of that character; if a lot of people are telling you something is wrong with you piece, it is.  If seven or eight of them are hitting on that same thing, I’d still suggest changing it.  But if everyone - or even most everyone - is criticizing something different, you can safely disregard what all of them say.

10.  OBSERVE ALL RULES FOR PROPER SUBMISSION
Return postage, self-addressed envelope, all of that.

11.  AN AGENT?  FORGET IT.  FOR NOW
Agents get 10% of monies earned by their clients.  10% of nothing is nothing.  Agents also have to pay the rent.  Beginning writers do not contribute to that or any other necessity of life.  Flog your stories around yourself.  If you’ve done a novel, send around query letters to publishers, one by one, and follow up with sample chapters and/or the manuscript complete.  And remember Stephen King’s First Rule of Writers and Agents, learned by bitter personal experience: You don’t need one until you’re making enough for someone to steal…and if you’re making that much, you’ll be able to take your pick of good agents.

12.  IF IT’S BAD, KILL IT
When it comes to people, mercy killing is against the law.  When it comes to fiction, it is the law.



That’s everything you need to know.  And if you listened, you can write everything and anything you want.  Now I believe I will wish you a pleasant day and sign off.

My ten minutes are up.

Accurate first impressions of Kpop groups
  • <p> <b>Super Junior:</b> "so many members??? so many sub-groups/units??? suju is literally every other kpop groups' dads. been in the game for so long and still run kpop. Trendsetters. Legendary. all of them are MCs. Why aren't they running SM by themselves???"<p/><b>BigBang:</b> "badass!! cars!!! sad?? emo??? party!!!! every group looks up to them and admires them.....your fave's faves. weird dancing(?) but they're always lit. it's always a bigbang concert whenever they perform. why is that one guy so tall? that one guy is popular in Japan!!! the difference between Jiyong & G-dragon is scary."<p/><b>SHINee:</b> "it feels like everyone has solo projects and they probably get together only for Christmas or to get turnt up. are they Japanese?? i think those 2 short guys are dating idk. wtf why is he called tofu....why is he called bling bling.......WTF IS A DIBIDIBIDIBI-"<p/><b>Infinite:</b> "wow they dance so in sync w/ each other. probably heard their catchy af songs before really diving into the fandom. created the scorpion dance, how epic. they just seem so real?? like they're brothers??? is that one a girl or a boy??<p/><b>VIXX:</b> "so tall. so violent. so shippable w/ everyone. pretty sure they have a confirmed gay sub-unit?? their maknae likes to bully them. jellyfish doesn't deserve them. so.....they're vampires, voodoo dolls, 8 year old kids, video game characters, Greek gods....what can't this group do????"<p/><b>BTOB:</b> "everyone knows about their reputation, they're wild af. hella tiny compared to normal human beings. i was blinded when looking @ that guy's smile he's an angel sent from heaven. their songs either make you wanna cry into your pillow or join a high school musical is2g."<p/><b>EXO:</b> "they seem kinda scary/intimidating bc SM won't let them fangirl. everyone's an exo fangirl and fanboy on the inside. iM crEEPin iN Ur HeARt BAbE. they literally glow on stage??? are they still wolves???? do they still have superpowers??? who is Chinese and who is Korean??? i thought there were 12....."<p/><b>B.A.P:</b> "so are they best absolute perfect or are they called rice? weird aliens/rabbits is a concept i never knew i needed. they sued their company together but there's always one guy who kills them all? why??? everyone who talks about b.a.p wants to skydive i'm so confused. so is that hot guy w/ the deep ass voice actually their grandfather??"<p/><b>Got7:</b> "so many different races in 1 group i'm living. bruh their dorms must be so wild, how are they raising a dog??? rapline is kinda weak........they could still get it tho. all of them have such vibrant personalities MUST. RESIST. STANNING. their second name is dab7? i don't know them."<p/><b>Seventeen:</b> "ok joke's on us, we all thought we couldn't remember exo's names but shitballs, seventeen exists. wow they seem so fun to be around, i want to be their friend. their leader must have approximately 8.9 breakdowns everyday. how are they always so happy??? they're legit stranded on an island ffs. dino is 100% their real baby."<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> "so THAT'S the member that everyone loves bc he's such a meme. do they always remix their songs when performing??? they're so lit???? i'm still confused as to why this group doesn't have a first win. came to check them out bc of got7 and wasn't disappointed."<p/><b>Day6:</b> "lmao that famous guy from twitter is in a kpop group???? why does it feel like JYP is just letting them run around the company and do whatever they want at this point....does JYP even know they exist?? their songs make you wanna hit up your nonexistent ex *jams sadly*. who's bob???"<p/><b>iKon:</b> "they shouldn't be the next bigbang or the next anything, they're low-key doing amazing already. bad first impressions always turn into good ones when yall take the time to know them. they literally have their own anthem??? what's a visual i only know ikon."<p/><b>NCT:</b> "there SM goes again, tempting us w/ new groups but depriving us of comebacks. how is taeyong supposed to hold the fort down when he has 40 kids he hasn't even met yet?? they're exo's biggest fanboys, everyone needs to stan them asap. if they didn't look and sound so good, i'd sue SM for dressing them like they're homeless. the dreamies are so spoiled by the hyungs and their company. MY CHILDREN????"<p/></p>
3

okay but if i were jeremy this wouldve unfortunately been my first thought, and there wouldve been no musical at all

this is so lame

Merlin deleted scenes otherwise known as:

“Julian, it’s just too gay, we’ve got to cut it, I’m sorry.”

I just read that the Las Vegas shooting was the 273rd mass shooting in America THIS YEAR. As a Brit where guns are banned it is just shocking that there is not more uproar in the US over gun control. How can mentally ill people or anyone get access to weapons that have no other use but to cause mass casualties you will never need for self defence. How long will it take and how much more hurt does there have to be before actual regulations get put in place? It is just such a horrific thing to happen and so easily avoidable with sensible regulations.

35 Powerful Affirmations That Can Change Your Life

Life extends from the thoughts and emotions that you experience. This means that employing affirmations of positive words can have a powerful effect on how you feel and help boost you to new levels of achievement.

Affirmations are proven methods of self-improvement because of their ability to rewire our brains. Much like exercise, they raise the level of feel-good hormones and push our brains to form new clusters of “positive thought” neurons. In the sequence of thought-speech-action, affirmations play an integral role by breaking patterns of negative thoughts, negative speech, and, in turn, negative actions.

Repeat the below aloud and with conviction in the morning and after a few days you will notice the shift in your mood, perception, and interpretation of any given situation.

1.) I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.

2.) Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.

3.) My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.

4.) I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.

5.) I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today.

6.) I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.

7.) A river of compassion washes away my anger and replaces it with love.

8.) I am guided in my every step by Spirit who leads me towards what I must know and do.

9.) (If you’re married) My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day.

10.) I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.

11.) (For business owners) My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.

12.) Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.

13.) Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings I’ve been given.

14.) My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.

15.) (For those who are unemployed) I deserve to be employed and paid well for my time, efforts, and ideas. Each day, I am closer to finding the perfect job for me.

16.) I am courageous and I stand up for myself.

17.) My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is plentiful with prosperity.

18.) Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.

19.) Many people look up to me and recognize my worth; I am admired.

20.) I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.

21.) I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.

22.) Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.

23.) I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.

24.) Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life.

25.) My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.

26.) My efforts are being supported by the universe; my dreams manifest into reality before my eyes.

27.) (For those who are single) The perfect partner for me is coming into my life sooner than I expect.

28.) I radiate beauty, charm, and grace.

29.) I am conquering my illness; I am defeating it steadily each day.

30.) My obstacles are moving out of my way; my path is carved towards greatness.

31.) I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.

32.) My fears of tomorrow are simply melting away.

33.) I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.

34.) My nature is Divine; I am a spiritual being.

35.) My life is just beginning.

  • Isaac: What the hell is that?!
  • Derek confused, looking down at his bags: I went to the farmer’s market....
  • Erica, smirking: I don’t think we can all eat that.
  • Derek: ...
  • Boyd: You weren’t supposed to bring back the farmer.
  • Stiles, looking at his plaid shirt, pointing at the pack while walking away: I’m putting you all up for adoption!
There’s Nothing Wrong With You

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was “There’s nothing wrong with you”. 

It was a Monday morning and I was relaxing with friends in a hotel pool after playing Lollapalooza. A lady bobbed opposite me sipping a ginormous glass of rose, and we started chatting. She was a stylist and told me that, when her clients tried outfits on and looked at themselves in the mirror, she would tell them “There’s nothing wrong with you”. I asked her why and she said, “because we all think there’s something wrong with us ”. It was such an odd, simple notion, but I felt like a little flower had opened up inside of me. It hadn’t occurred to me that it could be a universal feeling. There was always something so wrong with ME, I hadn’t considered that other people might feel the same. The comment stuck with me like glue for the next year. 

Illustration by Lan Truong

 I lived most of my life feeling like there was something deeply wrong with me. Everything I did was somehow geared towards fixing the parts of myself I thought were bad or ‘broken’. There was also an odd safety in being broken. I could quietly blame it for anything that went wrong in my life: “It’s not my fault: I’m f**ed up and I am very sorry!”. For a while, I had counselling, and though it was extremely helpful, I started to feel uneasy at the idea of chatting about my problems, potentially for years, if I chose to. Like, really… When would I be fixed?

For me, life =  Experiences + reactions to those experiences. The only power I have is choosing how I react to them. So, though I might have uncomfortable emotional reactions, I can choose to a) accept these emotions, instead of resisting them, and b) not interpret my thoughts as the Solid Gold Truth. Whatever your problems may be, (diagnosed or not), they don’t equate to you being broken. In my own life, it’s been unhelpful to think of mental health problems in this way, particularly when you’re struggling. You are who you are at this moment in time, and you’re doing your best. Brains are plastic. People can, and do, change.

Illustration by Lolrel

  If you follow my music, it probably won’t come as a big surprise to know that I’ve dealt with mental health issues for a long time. There have been 3 things that have helped me decrease periods of depression though. For anyone in the same position, I hope this helps.

1. Meditation

This changed my mind + my life. I started doing meditation in 2013 after Electra Heart had ended. I was burnt out and desperate for change. I took no classes, read no books - just looked at a 5 minute explanation on the internet. I didn’t even do it every day. Just 20 minutes in the morning or evening. In the beginning, I felt a little dubious about the idea of “wasting 20 whole minutes” on meditation each day. But here’s the thing: Meditation is like a vacuum for your mind. It sucks up all the dust and rubbish thoughts. I can easily waste 20 minutes looking at something on the internet that I’ll never think about again, so I can invest 20 minutes in something that changes the quality of my life. This blog described Meditation as “one of the best responses to modern information overload”. I truly believe it can be an antidote to our digital lives.

Illustration by Lolrel 

2. Exercise

I know, I know. When you’re depressed, the last thing you want to do is go outside INTO THE REAL WORLD! But if you’re bottom-of-the-barrel depressed, you have nothing to lose. For years I loved to declare that I “didn’t have a body that could run”  (in order to escape ever having to actually run). But when I start meditation, the negative thoughts about myself decreased and I started to want good things for myself. The motive of exercising was not to lose weight, so it had a different energy to it.

3. Identifying With Thoughts

The reality is, I still deal with depression, but my reaction to it is different. I am more aware of its mechanisms so I don’t take my thoughts as seriously. I try not to identify with a thought and interpret it as truth just because it came into my mind. Why? Because the way I think and respond to events is largely based on my past experiences, so how can I know that my thoughts are my own and not coloured by my past? This is why I don’t always trust my thoughts, particularly when they are of the negative variety. A book I hugely recommend on this is called “Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. 

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long time for people who struggle with similar issues. Our culture has taught us to see happiness as some kind of end goal, but for me, the best thing about it is that it doesn’t stick around forever. Human beings need to experience some level of suffering in order to evolve emotionally and consciously. And though depression often feels like you’re stuck, or stagnating, it can also be a healthy way of your mind telling you that something isn’t quite right, and that it’s in the process of changing. We tend to view sadness as something unnatural, or negative, but perhaps viewing it as a necessary process might help us accept the low periods, and move through them more easily.

Before writing my last album, I honestly thought that I had just been born unhappy and that depression was a permanent part of me. I don’t believe that anymore. When I was writing ‘FROOT’ I felt like I was kissing goodbye to a big chapter of my life. That portion of my youth was heart-splitting and lonely at times, but it was also dazzling and beautiful. And that’s how life is for a lot of us. If only I’d known all those years that it was just part of being human.

Ask a question or share a thought here.  

Love, Marina