i need to go back ughhh


So what was supposed to be a little doodle exercise in style, kinda turned into a low key self indulgent gemosona thing 😅😅😅
I’m not even that big of a Steven Universe fan
But I know that other people are so I thought I should share for mutual fans haha

get real | isaiah/reader

i had anon requests for isaiah fluff and sneaking around/getting caught

“I need a place to stay”

Isaiah stepped aside in the doorway, letting you in the house.

“What happened?”

“Ughhh…me and Polly had a fight” you waved your hand “let’s not”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some space. Your dad home?”

“Nah, won’t be back tonight. We’re safe” He pecked a kiss to your temple, moving behind you to set the kettle going. He can’t have been home long, his coat draped over the chair, his pockets half emptied onto the table top. He was down to his shirt with his sleeves rolled up. He looked at home.

Keep reading

43, E.D

“Your boobs are comfy”

You, and Ethan were currently at the mall, being the rare occasion he would actually agree to go along with you. As he absolutely despised shopping. He just thought it was boring, like a majority of men do.
But, a plus to him joining you. Was one, helping out his terrible fashion sense. As Grayson would call it.
And two, have someone help you carry your bags, it’s a win win.
“Babeee, we’ve been here for like I don’t know a year!” Ethan exclaimed as he followed you around the stores like a lost puppy.
But in reality you’ve only been inside of the mall for around an hour.
“Ethan, it hasn’t even been that long, yet.”‘you teased making him roll his eyes back in frustration.
“Y/nnnn” he whined once more, as you entered another store, this time looking for things for him.
“Babe, I don’t need clothes. Can we just go please.” He continued to wine.
“Ethan, if you let me finish getting you a couple things in here. We can go to the food court.” You promised.
“Ughhh, fine. But you owe me.” He stated.
“Ethan I’m shopping for you. I think we’re even.” You said, causing him to huff once more.
After grabbing him a few things that actually went together. You were set, and it was time to check out, but the only downside was the line was ridiculous. Making Ethan even more irritable.
“Babe, can we just leave?” He asked hopefully.
“Nada Dolan, we’re checking out.”
As you continued to wait in line with the impatient teen.
He decided to rest his head on your boobs.
Getting quite a few stares from everyone in the store.
“Ethan, what are you doing?” You asked looking at the boy as he arms were around your waist, and head resting on your rack.
“Mm, your boobs are comfy.” He said cuddling his face into them deeper.
“You’re a freaking idiot Dolan.” You laughed out.
“Im your idiot though.” He said.
It was true, he was yours to call idiot.

Hope you enjoyed!♥️


I honestly have no idea if I made the right call

Like I want to think I did. Cause I’m like if I go back then I’ll still feel like this and all the problems will be the same ??

But like what if I don’t actually want this????


I love him
But I need the freedom to figure my life out
But he said stuff could change
But I need to make decisions 100% me
But got I miss him
But I can’t be expected to choose everything with him in mind
Like I want the spontaneous freedom to move to fucking Spain or wherever on a dime if I want regardless of anyone or anything.

But I love him so god damn much
Like he’s the best ever and he’s so cute
But our lives are heading so different rn

Fuck me honestly I hate myself and literally everything about me.

2p hetalia x reader chapter one

“Once you meet someone, you never really forget them.” There it was that one famous line, well not the most famous but just the one that you seemed to remember the most. Yes,studio Ghibli 2002 movie Spirited Away, you loved all the movies,so when traveling to a new home across the country you decided might as well buy them all online and watch them all on the seven hour trip, but then you realized there is no way you could watch all the movies in seven hours. Still it was going to be a big trashion form a Apartment in New york to a beach House in Oregon. It was a East coast to the west coast type of situation.

“Excuse me passengers we are deceiving please, place your tray tables up,and you electronics off” the stactice intercom said, but you could barely understand it, still you shut your laptop down and put it in your bag. You shaked your Dad awack

“Hey old man we are landing soon put your tray table up.” you said, he was still snoring, you rolled your eyes and took his water cup placing it in the garbage of a passing Flight attendant trash bag. Then placing his tray table up, you opened the window you could see the Dark clouds covering the city as the plane started to go down you felt your stomach twist, as you saw the ground getting closer and closer to you. It took about thirty minutes before the plane landed , it was not smooth, this caused your dad to finally wake up, he grabbed a barf bag and threw up.

“OH god, my first time in Oregon and i throw up.” He said, as he barfed in the bag again, you lightly patted his back.

“Ughhh i shouldn’t have eaten all those Peanuts!” he said, once they told you it was time to Deplane, you grabbed your bag that was atop your head for the flight and slung it over your shoulder. Getting out going threw the Jet bridge and your dad said you two needed to get your luggage from carousel 4B, you two walked threw the large crowd till you saw the blue sign reading 4B. You waited till you saw your bags that took about 40 minutes to find all six, you put them all on a luggage carrier as your dad placed all five of his on there, you two pushed them.

“So who is this weirdo that is picking us up, he isn’t like a murderer is he?” you asked

“He is not a murderer, and he is my co-worker who got me this job so please be nice to him, he has done a lot for us”

“You ever see his face?” you said

“Yes over the webcam.” Your dad said “see i am hip i know how technology works” he said

“Well don’t break a hip…and what does he look like, name, date of birth, blood type-”

“(name) calm down, his name is Sergei, he is 24 years old, he came here from russia, he has two sisters…one that is your age I think.”

“Ggggrrrreeeeaaaaatttt” you said

“Hey come on i bet you two will become good friends”

“Or you know hear me out, we will not.” you said as you two pushed the cart outside, your dad took out a piece of paper.

“Ok said he would meet us over….there” he said as he pushed,the cart over, you saw a very tall man waiting there, you dad also seemed a bti taken back by his height.

“Ahh Mr.(last name), it is great to finally meet you in person.” his voice was just so monotone like there was not a hint of emotion in them, but he stuck his hand out, your dad shook it, he turned to you, he towered over you, he stuck out his hand

“You must be his daughter (Name).” he said, you shook his hand and despite him being a giant, surprising his hand shack didn’t hurt you.

“Here i will help you with your bags.” he said as he pushed the cart to the back of his car,

“You sure he isn’t a murder” you whispered to your dad

“(Name) please he is nice” he said you conversation was cut short when the car honked

“SERGEI YOU ALMOST DONE BACK THERE I WANT TO GO HOME WHY DID YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE AGAIN!!!” you heard a whiny voice yell from the car, then a girl with really light brown hair with a pink hair band poked her head out of the car.

“ONce second Anna.” Sergei said

“….one!” she said

“Well she seems like a delight.” You said to your dad, he just rolled his eyes

“Anna,please go sit in the back.”

“What! No i called the passenger seat”

“And we have guste, you and (Name) can sit in the back endless you want to help us load up the luggage.” Sergei said as he placed another one of the bags in the car.

“Ugh fine, but only because I don’t want to break a nail!” she said, as she opened the door but slamming it before going to the back seat, she crossed her arms.

“Well go make friends.” your dad said

“Or i will help Mr.Sergei over here with the luggage” you said as you walked over and putting some of the bags in the back. Once you two finished he closed the door gave you a thank you and you sat in the back, you put your seatbelt on, and looked at the girl, she seemed really bratty to you, but first meeting can be deceiving so you decided to strike up a conversation.

“So what is your name?” you asked, she looked up and down at you

“Annastashia…why do you wanna know.”

“That is a really pretty name.” you said

“I know…what is your name?” she asked

“(name).” you replied

“Oh…ok nice name.” she said as she pulled out her phone that had a fuzzy ball connected to the phone case. She started to text someone, you pulled out your phone and checked to see nothing was there well except a request to candy crush, you swiped it and got rid of it. You twiddled your thumbs.

“So…what do you like.”

“Shopping.” she said bluntly “you.”

“Uhh dose online shopping count.” You said

“…well that explains your outfit so i guess.” She said, you examined her outfit, it was very pink and long, you could only see her shoes from the long pink skirt. You looked down at your flats that had a hole in the side you covered them.

“God she is really rude, who dose she thinks she is!” you thought, the car drive for the rest of the way was very quite you looked out the window and the city was very pretty it in own way, still had tall buildings but not as tall as New York Until sergei took a right and the city was soon replaced with the look of the sea. You saw a few families in hoodies around a campfire. Till you saw the line of house coming up, then the car stopped in front of a light blue house, you opened the car as the moving truck was in front of the house, you stepped out and gave Sergei a quick Thank you as you ran up the steps.

“Come on dad hurry up you have the keys.” you said, your dad fumbled with the keys, but finally unlocked the door, you ran threw the house and unlocked the back door, you ran outside and it was true, your house was at the end of clift, a white fence surrounding the edge only a staircase leading down to the beach.

“It really is Beautiful isn’t it.” you dad said “Your mom would’ve loved the view.”

“Yeah she would of….WHAT THE HELL IS THAT” you screamed as you pointed at a very large dog was in the back of your neighbors yard taking nap, it didn’t look like a dog but more like a bear. Sergei walked out, and patted it head,however being next to that big of a dog made sergei height look normal.

“Uhhhhh sergei why do you have a bear in your backyard” your dad froze with fear as the dog woke up.

“Oh no this out dog, her name is princess and she is very sweet.” he said

“…princess” you though, just as anna walked out.

“Sergei when is dinner.” she whined

“One second anna i am having a conversation.” he said, he turned his head back to you.

“Would you two like to come over for dinner?” he asked your dad

“Sure why not, will the dog be joining us?” your dad laughed

“Yes,” sergei said, “come over in like twenty minutes dinner should be ready by then.”

“Will do.” your dad said, as sergei gave one finally nod and went into the house

“He is totally a murderer, this is just like in those horror movies when a new family moves to a new place only to find their neighbors are satan worshipers and become a human sacrifice!” you said

“I am putting a child block on netflix and your computer.” Your dad said blankly

“Nooooooooooo!!!!!!” you said

“Yes.” your dad laughed

“You shall not take me away form my horror movies!” you said

“Watch me” he joked, you huffed as you looked down

“Hey dad i am going for a quick walk down the beach.” you said

“Ehhhhh alright be back in fifteen got it.” he said

“Yeha yeha.” you said already walking down the steps, the dark blue ocean getting closer. You stepped on the beach, it was a chilly,the waves were coming in closer you walked down the beach for a bit.

“So this is going to be my new home, Awesome!” you thought as you looked at your phone seeing that time was almost up, you started to head back, you kicked your shoe on the stairs and got most of the sand out of your shoe. You saw your dad urging you to hurry up, that only made you go slower.

You finally made your way to the top and you two headed to Sergei’s house, you knocked on the door, Annastasia opened it.

“Take your shoes off first please.” she said, you slipped them off and walked in, and the house was very incantation, something straight out of a fairy tale. A white chandler commanded the dark brown wooden walls, classical music was playing in the background, sergei was in the kitchen and what you saw next almost made you burst out laughing, btu you bite your tongue, sergei was wearing a pink frilly apron, your dad was also trying not to laugh but he was showing it more, annastasia let you two to the living room, she sat on the couch, you sat next to her, well on the other side of the couch your dad sat in the chair, it felt as awkward in the car. Tell your dad broke the silence

“So anninastha-”

“Just call me anna, thanks.” she said

“Oh anna,sorry, so how old are you?” he ask

“Eighteen.” she said

“OH so it (Name) just turned eighteen last month.” He said

“Ok.” she said, your dad was sinking.

“So Anna i heard you have sister a where is she?” you asked

“At some random guy’s house, at work or in her room passed out.” she said

“What does she do for a living?” you asked

“….Sergei said i shouldn’t say.” she said

“…oh sorry.” you said

“Anna dinner’s ready can you get Klase.” you heard sergei say from the kitchen.

“On it~” she chirped and got up walking up the stairs, Sergei walked out, you two walked to the dining room and sat down next to each other.

“Uhh sergei who is klaus?” your dad asked

“He is my assistant who lives here,” Sergei said “don’t mind him, he is very nice, a bit shy so don’t take offence if he dosnt look at you, or talk to you.”

“Ok good to know.” your dad said, as sergei seat the lates down, anna came back down the stairs and took a plate of food off the table

“Klaus says he wants to eat alone.” she said as she grabbed her plate

“I thought you said alone.” Sergei said but anna just ignored him and went up stairs.

“Please excuse those two, she means well.” Seregi said, but you were to interested in the food, your dad and sergei continued to talk till your dad brought something up

“So are there any other kids around (name) age, she is a bit of loner.” he asked

“I am right here!” you said

“You analized disney movies instead of celebrating your sixteenth birthday party”

“Well excuse me…not.” you mumbled

“Ahem.” sergei said getting your dad attention.

“There are some i know but i would not recommend hanging around a few them, they are troubled.”

“What do you mean by troubled?”

“I mean they are not a good influence…especially-no never mind sorry”

“Well now you have to tell me!” you said

“He is nineteen name is Yang wang.” he said

“..wang,pffftttt.” you laughed

“(name) don’t be rude.” your dad said

“Ahhh sorry but wang really,only one….ok.” you said and went back to your food, Sergei looked at your dad.

“My point is just don’t get involved with him.”

“I will try.” you said, as you took your plate to the kitchen washing off the rest of the food.

“Well thank you mr,Sergei for the meal i am going home to set up my bed.” you said

“Ok thank you for coming over.” he said.

“I will see you in a second i still need to go over some things with him.”

“Ok later.” you said as you shut the door, you walked over to your house and opened the door, you saw all the boxes scattered around the house, you went up to your room, and opened a box pulling out a picture of your mom.

“Well looks like this is my new life.” you said

-end of chapter-

What if whenever Erwin and Mike were around the other vets and wanted to have a more private conversation, they broke off into German

It pisses Levi off so much when he first joins the Survey Corps because he can’t understand it and knows they’re probably talking about him

He and Hanji start to learn German secretly and once being semi-fluent in understanding it, they’re all eating breakfast together and Mike starts a German conversation with Erwin about personal shit that they don’t want the others hearing for a reason

Their conversations show how close they are
Erwin asks about how Mike’s back is healing after some injury no one else knew about and Mike asks if Erwin’s out of his bout of depression that started two weeks earlier before they slip back into English and talk about their schedule for that day and if they all want to go into town to pick up a few things just as casual as ever

I’m in Big Trouble

A/N: Day 4 of 25 Days of DC Christmas. (So I was going to post a different one today but I had a really bad case of writers block so I tried a different one instead! Sorry if you were expecting another one today! I will get it posted I promise!) 

Request: Reader has been making up a boyfriend for the past few months and has to take Barry (her friend) to be her stand in bf for Christmas eve and Christmas. Fluff please! Thanks :)

Word Count: 1,953

Barry was stretched out on my couch, exhausted from a day of super speed heroics when I opened the door to my apartment. Ever since I gave him my spare key he would often make himself at home, which I hadn’t really minded. Coming home to Barry was natural, we had been friends forever, and I knew him even better than Iris did. “Hey, Barr,” I smiled as I locked the door behind me, “What are you watching?”

“I may or may not have finished game of thrones without you,” he admitted sheepishly as he stretched out further, his long limbs hanging off the sides of my small couch.

“Barry Allen,” I scolded shaking my head completely aware that I would receive an earful of spoilers.

“Oh and your mom called,” he quickly changed the subject, “Your voicemail got it.”

“Okay,” I sighed before strutting into the kitchen.

“You’re the only person I know who still has a landline,” his voice followed me, “Talk about behind the times.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a landline, now all my junk calls go to my landline and I don’t have to deal with telemarketers calling my cell,” I argued thinking my plan was pure genius.

“And your mother’s a junk call?” he asked laughing loudly.

“But, of course,” I smiled. We both knew that my mother called on an overwhelmingly consistent basis and if I ever answered her calls it would lead to at least a fifteen minute conversation, and that’s low-balling it. I stared out the window at the falling snow as I played my mother’s message, “Hey, sweetie, it’s me. I was just wondering what time you and the boyfriend will be coming this weekend on Christmas eve. Your brother will be back in town so there will be plenty of catching up to do. Emily won’t stop talking about how excited she it. I can’t wait to meet the young man. You’ve hardly told us anything about him. I made your father promise to be nice. Just give me a call back and let me know what time we can expect you. Dinner will start at seven. Love you, sweetheart.” Click. The message ended and my heart dropped.

“Shit, shit shit!” I yelled at the phone as I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I don’t have a boyfriend. Why did I even make him up? This was such a stupid idea. I knew this would bite me in the ass one day. And I can’t tell my family he just broke up with me. No one would believe me. Then they’d know I was so pathetic I made up a love life. But how could I not with them constantly nagging me about it.

Suddenly a hand rested on my shoulder nearly scaring me half to death, “Holy shit, Barry!” I smacked him playfully, “You scared me.”

“What’s wrong? You were yelling at inanimate objects,” he laughed slightly before a look of concern washed over his face.

“It’s nothing it’s just Christmas with my family. And I kind of said something stupid a few months ago and now I don’t think I can fix it. And… ugh…” I rested my head on Barry’s chest, “I am an idiot.”

“Why? What did you say?” he was curious, the way he usually got about science and metahumans.

“I told them I had a boyfriend, which you and I both know is far from the truth,” then a terrible, horrible, really bad idea popped into my head. He stayed silent, as if reading my mind, “Barry…”

“Oh, no…” he knew exactly what was happening and he started to back away slowly holding his hands out as to stop me from asking the inevitable question.

“Will you be my fake boyfriend for the weekend?” I pleaded closing the space between us, with a mischievous grin on my face.

“No, y/n, don’t go roping me into your lies. I’m supposed to be a hero remember?” he stood tall in his best superhero pose that only made me giggle.

“Yes I remember. And I need saving,” I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout, “Please, Barry. Pretty please with a cherry on top.”

He rolled his eyes and hung his head back, “Ughhh… fine.” He gave in so easily and laughed at his lack of willpower.

“Yay!” I smiled and laughed, hugging him tightly, “I will totally make this up to you. Seriously, anything you want, just name it!”

“Oh, now I have to think about that…” he smiled and held his hand up to his chin, thinking intently.

I pulled up to my parents house in my little blue honda, with Barry in the passenger’s seat sleeping. It had been a long car ride and since Barry couldn’t just speed us to my parents house we had to get there the old fashioned way. As I parked in the driveway I lightly tapped Barry on the shoulder, “Hey, Barr. Wake up.” He stirred but didn’t wake. I tried to wake him up gently but he just wasn’t having it. I was done, “Barry, come on wake up! We’re here!” The raise in my voice caused him to jump slightly.

“What I’m up!? I’m up,” he stirred and looked at me, “You didn’t have to yell.”

“I kind of did. I’ve been trying to wake you up for the past five minutes,” I started to laugh at his hair all pushed to the side in a disheveled mess. I reached into my purse and pulled out a brush, “You might want to fix your hair.”

He looked in the mirror and his eyes grew wide. He gladly took the brush and frantically tried to smooth his hair down, “Better?”

“Much,” I smiled as I tucked the brush back in my purse, “You ready?”

“Born ready,” he smiled and sped out of the car opening the door for me.

As we approached the door it swung open wildly and my younger sister ran out nearly tackling me to the ground, “Oh my god, y/n!” 

“Hey, Emily,” I smiled as she squeezed me tighter.

“I’ve missed you so much! I can’t believe you moved so far away. I have so much to tell you. Senior year has been so crazy. Did I tell you I got accepted to all of my top five schools. And I went on a date, dad nearly killed the boy. He’s not my type anyway. Oh and Tyson is back from Europe. He brought a girl! And-” she rambled at a mile a minute only hesitating when she noticed Barry standing behind me, “And you brought a boy,” she whispered and giggled, “This is going to be interesting.”

“Emily, this is Barry, Barry this is my kid sister Emily,” I introduced him and Barry stood there slightly awkward not knowing how to approach this introduction.

He stuck his hand out, “Nice to meet you.” Emily shoved past his hand and wrapped him in a small hug.

“I’m a hugger,” she warned before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the house, Barry only steps behind, “Mom, Dad, y/n is here and she brought her boyfriend.”

Emily was right about one thing this was certainly going to be an interesting weekend.

The first several hours went smoothly. We looked through pictures from Tyson’s trip to Europe, Emily told us all about her big decision to choose between Starling City, Chicago, Central City, Kansas State, or Penn State. My mother wanted her to go to the local college but with Emily’s brains she could have gone to Harvard. Evangeline, Ty’s new girlfriend told us about life in Italy. I told my parents all about my job as CCTV media consultant. Then my mother wanted to know more about Barry. I told them how we met at Jitters when I was working with Iris on the weekends. When Emily asked about our first date Barry took the reigns. 

“Well, I was really nervous asking her out, she was so beautiful I could barely put a sentence together. When she said yes I planned the whole evening out. We were going to start at this little Italian restaurant on the west side of town and then go to a movie that my friend Cisco recommended,” he paused and looked at me in a way I’d never seen before, “But as we walked to dinner my phone rang and I got called into work. You see- I’m a CSI for the CCPD and a case had come up. So we never got to finish our first date,” as I thought about what he was saying I realized that I remembered that night. Wait… when he asked me if I wanted to hang out… did he mean go out on a date? But he couldn’t… could he? We’ve been friends for over three years now. Surely he would have told me if he had feelings for me…

“But you got to finish that date right?” Emily asked expectantly, she was such a sucker for a sappy story.

This is where Barry embellished, “Oh yeah. We ended up doing all those things later.” We hadn’t. The next time I had seen him was back at Jitters. Cisco and Caitlin invited me to go out for drinks with them and the rest was history. But I had a feeling I wasn’t getting the whole story.

After hours of talking, eating, and for those of us who were legal, drinking; we slowly started for bed. I led Barry into my childhood bedroom, still painted a soft blue with band and movie posters plastering the walls. I grabbed some blankets out of the closet and started to lay them out on the floor while Barry got dressed in the bathroom. I grabbed one of the pillows off the bed and set it on the ground while I laid down on the carpet under the blankets. A minute or so later Barry opened the door, “What are you doing on the floor?” he whispered tilting his head to the side.

“You can have the bed,” I offered with a smile, “It’s the least I can do for dragging you here.”

“No,” he stated firmly staring at me with those soft green eyes.

“Well where else do you expect me to sleep? I can’t very well sleep on the couch. My parents might think something is up,” I reasoned but a mischievous grin rose on Barry’s lips and in a flash of lighting I wound up on the bed, tucked under the blankets next to Barry.

“If you’re parents walk in and see you sleeping on the floor they’ll think we’re fighting. Plus I believe the deal was that I be your ‘boyfriend’ for the weekend. Boyfriends do not allow their girlfriends to sleep on the floor,” I opened my mouth the argue but the words refused to escape my lips. All I could think about was the warm feeling that filled my core when he called me his girlfriend. No, I can’t. Do I? What the hell? Snap out of it! There’s no way I have feelings for Barry, we’re friends and this would just fuck everything up. But look at him, he’s adorable and he wants me to sleep with him. Plus what he said about the date… but no he would have said something. Right?

“Earth to y/n,” he waved his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention.

“What? Yeah. Did you say something?” I snapped back from the rambling train of thought running through my thoroughly confused mind.

“It’s midnight. Merry Christmas,” he smiled at me and my heart melted. I’m in big trouble.  

So I was writing this and have now decided that this definitely needs a part two… when it will be posted is TBD so just keep a look out.

The smallest I have gotten. This was like back in 2014. Ughhh wanna get back here and go even further. I’m gonna do it for sure and not gonna look back for nothing. Wanna say I was like 302 right here. I’m almost back to that weight, just 16 more and I’ll be 299. I want it so baddddd! I need it. I gotta get it. I can smell the 200s, I’m so close. Eeeeek:D

Surprise [Jin]

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Genre: Smut

Characters: Seokjin x You (Reader)

Request: Mmmm, I’d like to request something with Jin please. Jin Jin Jin JIn pleeassseree

Word Count: 1450

Notes: Hopefully I pulled through for you on this one!  Thanks so much for the request! It’s the first Jin fic we have on our blog so enjoy :3

Your stilettos made resounding clicks as you moved down the hallway at the back of the venue the boys were currently at. You had come to visit your boyfriend Jin as a surprise, you hadn’t seen each other in months due to his schedule. He would call you, skype you, and text you but it just wasn’t the same as him being right beside you.

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300 followers smut series - Day 5: Tsumugu Kido

[I struggled writing Tsummy. My brain is running on fumes for ideas but I thought this is was pretty Kido, pleasue excuse my poor attempt at trying to get his Kansai accent accross…Also, I may have rushed it a bit but I’m running so far behind my schedule it’s hard not to…As usual sorry for any mistakes & enjoy]

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who puts a password on an exam, doesnt tell you that you need a password in the syllabus, and then only has it open from 5pm-7pm on a tuesday QAQ

tagged as school if you dont want to see school woes in the future

anonymous asked:


Why hello there darling~ <3 OH AND YEA BUTT TOUCHING (even tho it wasn’t a full on butt touch I’m still giddy). IKR LIKE UGHHH JUSt…

I SCREAM DARLING TBH. Even though I know Cy was just tucking roses at Bh’s back pocket (or was it Bh’s jeans’ waistband? if it was I’d go HNNNGGSS)

THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS THOUGH: Why must Cy tuck the flowers in Bh’s back pocket? UGHH just tell Bh to do it himself or sumthing Cy. Did u rly need to touch Bh’s butt that much hmmm? I understand tho, everyone’s thirsty for the BaekBoooty. mmhmm~

Thanks for dropping by darling, have a good day! ^^

Self Defense Pt 5

Here is the 5th and second to last part of Self Defense.  I was going to originally make it a 5 parter but didn’t want the last part to be like 14,000 words so I am making this one a bit small for the grand finale lol.

Previous Parts Here: (sorry too lazy/not enough time to create proper links)





Those wished to be tagged/liked previous parts (if you dont want to be tagged anymore please let me know or wish to be tagged):

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Without further ado…


Rae ran as fast as her feet would carry her.  She ran because of what Saul just tried to do to her.  She ran because her mother has been acting like a right twat lately and seemed to be distancing herself from Rae; maybe it was the new baby coming.  She ran because Chloe didn’t seem to care about her in her current state.  She ran because everything Kester had said has come true.  But mainly she ran because of Finn, half of her wanted to be back in Finn’s arms having him tell her everything was going to be ok.  The other half of her wanted to punch him again like she did when this whole thing started.  What was I thinking; where in the world did I think this was going to be ok?

“Rae! RAE! STOP RUNNING!” She heard a familiar voice calling for her.

“For the love of god Rae just STOP!” and she did.  She turned around with tears in her eyes, sweat rolling down her face and uneven breath she couldn’t seem to catch.

“Why did you run Rae?  You’re not in the proper state to be on ya own.”

“What do ya want Archie?”  Rae was tired, she wanted nothing more then to go home and scrub the day off of her, lay down in bed and cry until there was no liquid left in her body.

“What happened back there Rae?  I mean, I’m confused and drunk and concerned Rae.  You’ve been through a lot tonight.” Archie looked at Rae with pain in his eyes, not physical pain, emotional pain.  Rae couldn’t take it anymore, she wrapped her arms around Archie and started crying even harder then before. 

“Oh no Rae, stop crying, Uncle Archie is here, no one is going to hurt ya when I’m here, I promise.” Rae chuckled through her tears.  “Archie for all that is holy, stop calling yourself Uncle Archie.”

“Alright Rae, let’s get ya back to the car and we can sort everything out.” Archie pulled Rae forward but she didn’t budge. 

“I can’t go back there Archie.  I can’t be near that place and I can’t see Fi-,” she couldn’t even say his name without the familiar pain of heartbreak took over.

“Rae, if you’re not ready to talk about it or him that’s fine, but we have to get you back, if there is anyone who can handle Finn Nelson, it is me.”  Archie reassured her and tugging her forward again, this time Rae followed.  She hadn’t realized just how far she ran or even for how long, but the slow and hesitant walk back made it seem like she ran the entire wall of China.  When they approached the house she could hear the same buzz of the party and saw the outline of Chops car but Rae only counted two figures by it.

“Oh thank god ya found her Archie! Rae, Oh my god are you ok?” Izzy ran and gave both of them a hug.  Chop couldn’t take it anymore either; he wrapped the lot of them into a group hug. 

“Ok ok guys,” Rae was trying to break the hug, “where’s Finn?”  She was searching everywhere, she wasn’t prepared for a conversation with him, and she didn’t even think she wanted to talk to him right now, but she couldn’t fight needing to make sure he was there. 

“Uh, he um, he left Raemundo.” Chop couldn’t make eye contact with Rae.  Rae’s eyes welled with tears again; Archie and Izzy wrapped her into their arms.  They kept trying to talk to her, kept trying to reassure everything was going to be ok.  But Rae knew better, she knew she messed up in every aspect of her life.  She didn’t even notice that she was sitting in the backseat, crying into Archie’s shoulder, she didn’t realize that Archie had told Chop to bring her to Archie’s house because she isn’t in the state to be alone or have her mother ask her too many questions.  It wasn’t until she was on an inflatable mattress by Archie’s bed that she came to really grasp her surroundings.

“Archie,” Rae croaked, her voice so hoarse and weak from crying so much. 

“Yeah Rae?”

“Am I a shit person?”  She asked with a yawn.  “No Rae, I think you’re an amazing person with shit luck and I think it’s about damn time we try to change that luck around.”  Archie turned his head and saw Rae had fallen fast asleep, her face stained with tears. 

“Goodnight Rae.”


When Rae woke up she felt like she had literally been dragged from the depths of hell.  Her throat was on fire, her back was sore and she had a headache that literally felt like it was going to crush her skull.  She looked around and noticed Archie was still asleep, so she tiptoed into the toilet. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was a mess, her eyes were swollen and her make up had run down her face mixed with tears.  She felt a pain from her lower back and saw a body length mirror on the door, she pulled her shirt up and gasped when she saw that when Saul had pressed her into the sink so hard he had left a bruise on her lower back.  Bloody fantastic.

She walked back into Archie’s room and tried to close the door quietly.

“Good Morning my Rae of Sunshine.”

“Mornin’ Archie,” she slumped over to his bed, sat on the edge and placed her head on Archie’s arm.

“Rae, let’s get the fuck out of here, let’s hit the road, Thelma and Louise, us against the world yeah?”

“Fuck it Archie, let’s go.”

Being on the open road was freeing, singing along to songs that normally they would be ashamed to be singing with their mates but at this point, who cared.  That was until Archie’s car broke down and they were stranded on a stretch of road that doesn’t get too many travelers. 

“You know what Rae, you know what sucks, life.  They are always telling us be what ya want to be, but the minute we go to show it, we are told to keep it down, don’t do that, fit in with the crowd.  Well you know what fuck them.  I’m gay Rae, and I am tired of running away, tired of being something I’m not.”  Rae nudged Archie with her shoulder as a sign of reassurance and to continue.  He told Rae about not being afraid to tell his mates or his parents, but he was terrified to tell Finn and how they used to have sleepovers and play around, what would he think.  Rae couldn’t believe the words she was hearing, this was Finn, he cared for Archie, he wouldn’t care.

“Archie, it’s Finn, do ya really think he is gonna care?  Do ya think his opinion on ya is going to change because you fancy men?”

“Honestly, no, but I think its just the doubt in me Rae.  It’s Finn I should know better I guess.” Archie shrugged and held his head low, connecting the dots to his issue with Finn to Rae’s.

“Do you think Rae that Finn cares about all of your doubts and insecurities?  Do ya think he cares more about the looks on others faces or their laughs than the look on your face you get when he can make ya happy or he can make ya laugh?”  Rae couldn’t answer his question out loud because she knows the answer but saying it means everything she fears about their relationship would just be her fears and not valid.  Fuckin hell does Archie ever talk to Kester?   She had to change the subject quick.

“So what are we gonna do now Archie?”  She asked squinting looking up to the sun.

“Now my dear Rae, we hitch a ride.  Come on, I’m gonna need ya help, show those girls off and we can get a ride quicker.”  Archie said as he pointed to Rae’s rack.  She giggled and stood up, sure enough about 20 minutes later they got a ride back into town.

The next day Archie had called everyone to the chippy to tell them his secret.  Rae hasn’t seen nor heard from Finn since the night of the fair and party.  She knew he was going to be there and was a little excited to see him, but the thing was she didn’t know if he was going to be excited to see her.  When she walked in sure enough, he was sitting on the far corner of the table, too focused rolling his cigarettes to acknowledge Rae walking in and to make matters worse the only seat available was the one right in front of him.

“Hiya Finn,” she whispered but he didn’t respond.  Archie had stood up from Rae’s left and stood in front of the table and froze trying to get the words out.  What shocked Rae was when Finn encouraged Archie to come out as if he knew the entire time.  Can he be anymore perfect?  Seriously, even when he is being a grumpy git ignoring me he is still delicious.  After Archie’s big reveal Rae looked at Finn and smiled but he didn’t return it, instead he looked broken and looked down continuing on his cigarettes.  It was an awkward few minutes as Izzy and Chloe were hounding Archie with questions, but Rae noticed Finn was starting to get impatient.

“Right well, I’m gonna go, got to help my da’ with a few things.” Finn stood up and patted Archie on the back and walked out.  Everyone’s eyes fell on Rae and she got up but Chloe blocked her.

“Rae, I was hoping we can talk,” Chloe sheepishly asked. 

“Chloe not right now, I need to get to Finn,” Rae pushed past Chloe, the sting from the disbelief that came from Chloe the other night still hurt and Rae couldn’t just forgive her.

“But Rae, I need to talk to ya,” Chloe’s eyes looked different, darker but Rae needed to catch up to Finn.  “Later Chloe, promise.”

Rae walked out the chippy just in time to see Finn turn the corner Rae took off after him.

“FINN! FINN! I KNOW YOU CAN BLOODY HEAR ME! YOU’RE NOT DEAF! COME ON FINN PLEASE!”  Rae was shouting and catching up to Finn, thank god he isn’t walking fast because there would be no way I would be able to catch up. 

“What Rae?” He turned around and looked like he was holding back tears. 

“I wanted to say, that I’m,” she couldn’t say it, not with him looking the way he does. 

“Just say it Rae cuz I really need to go,” He wouldn’t look at her directly. 

“I’m sorry.” She barely whispered. “Sorry for what Rae?” He looked shocked that she chose those words.

“I’m sorry I wanted to keep this a secret.  It’s just that I,” He was staring at her so intently as she spoke now.  Rae couldn’t form a coherent thought, everything was spinning again and Finn looked like she ripped his heart out.

“It’s ok Rae, I get it.  You’re embarrassed of me.  You don’t want to be around the grumpy sod.  I’m not funny like that Liam bloke.  I can’t speak as much as Chop does.  I’m not as open with my feelings as Archie.  I get it Rae, I get it. You’re free of me.”

“No Finn that’s not it at all, FINN!” But it was too late Finn had taken off fast and Rae knew she could catch up.

Rae walked around the whole day not wanting to go home, didn’t want to talk to Chloe, wasn’t strong enough to see Finn and Kester had brushed her off.  She was sitting on the swings thinking about everything.

“Alarm girl, fancy meetin you here.” Liam sat next to her on the other swing. 

“Liam right now is not a good time,” she didn’t need this in her life too right now.

“You look like ya been cryin’ kid, what’s got ya all worked up?”  Why Rae decided to become loose lipped with Liam, she will never understand considering she couldn’t even talk to her boyfriend about this. 

“I don’t get it Liam.  My best mate has chosen every lad she has ever hooked up with over me.  My mum and step dad are expectin’ a baby!  Where do I fit in to that?  My friends are all having their own issues.  I had a guy force himself on meh at a party.  And Finn, oh Finn he thinks it’s him you know?  It’s not him, it’s me.  I’m the one with issues not him.  He’s perfect and I’m I’m”

“You’re shit, like me.” He chirped in confidently as if that was making anything better but yet she nodded.

“Look Rae, I don’t know much about all that other stuff that’s got ya all worked up but people like us, we’re not exactly oil paintings are we?  We got to take what we can get ya know?  When Amy showed interest in me, I took it and if this bloke likes ya, take it Rae.  We may be shit, but even shit doesn’t always have to stink.”  Rae looked confused by what Liam said.  They spent a few more minutes sitting in silence as Rae contemplated what Liam said but the exhaustion from the day had taken over Rae’s body.  She parted ways with Liam and was on her way home.

Maybe Liam was right, I’m no oil painting but Finn likes me.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  I want him more then I want anything in life.  How am I going to make this better?  All I know is tomorrow when I can see Kester; I need to open up to the right person.

“Mum, I’m home! Mum!!!” Rae was shouting from the bottom of the stairs when she got to the kitchen she noticed blood on the panel. 

“MUM!” Rae ran upstairs…

Standards of Beauty

Soooo, (I type nervously) I’ve never written an Olicity fic before. But I saw this prompt on Tumblr and was inspired to give it a go. I have no beta, so apologies for typos or grammatical errors. And apologies for including the son, I know how some fandom peeps feel about the topic, I’m hoping this won’t drive away readers, but this was just what popped into my head. Set sometime in the future - Oliver is Mayor, he and Felicity are engaged and planning a wedding, Will visits with them every other weekend. Let me know what you think. :/

The tedium of reading and approving or denying budget proposal was interrupted by his cell phone vibrating across his desk. The name and photo displayed on the touchscreen instantly brought a smile to his face.

“You’ll have to excuse me for just a moment, Suzanne. I need to take this call.” Oliver spoke to his budget director as he stood, stepping outside to take the call. “Hey hon, you have no idea the mind numbing boredom you just rescued me from.”

“Dad?” his sons timid voice replied.

“Will? Buddy, what are you doing on Felicity’s phone? Where is she? Is she okay? Are you okay?” he asked, instantly on alert.

“Uhh, I’m okay Dad. But I don’t know about Felicity. She’s in your bedroom with the door closed, but I can hear her, uhh…”

“You can hear her what?”

“She’s using her loud voice even though she’s alone, and slamming drawers, and… growling?” the eight year old tried to explain, clearly confused. “She’s upset, but I don’t know why. I think you need to come home.”

“Okay bud, I’m leaving now, I’ll be home in twenty minutes.” he reassured his son, stepping back into his office. “I’ll see you in just a few.” Oliver hung up, signaling to Thea through the glass wall of his office. “Suzanne, I’m sorry, but there’s a problem at home. We’ll have to finish going over the budget on Monday.”

“No problem, I hope everything’s okay.” the older business woman said as she gathered her papers.

“What’s up big bro?” Thea questioned, stepping into the office as the other woman stepped out.

“I need you to come home with me. Felicity’s apparently upset. Will called. Could you maybe take him to dinner while I take care of my fiancé.” he asked, grabbing what he needed from his office as he readied to leave.

“Sure, I’m always up for more time with my favorite nephew.”

“He’s your only nephew.”

“That we know of…” Thea mumbled under her breath, earning a glare from Oliver. “Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much, Felicity’s probably just stressed over wedding stuff.”

“Let’s go find out, shall we.”

“Felicity, Will, I’m home. I’ve got Thea with me.” Oliver called out as he let them into the loft.

The only response was the sound of rapidly approaching feet.

“Dad.” Will greeted him with a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re home. I don’t know what happened. We went shopping. I got some new school clothes and some board shorts and then we went to look at bathing suits for Felicity for your wedding vacation. And I was real good and waited right outside while she tried them on. But when she came out she was real quiet, and she was kind of quiet all the way home. And then,” the young boy rambled on, “when we got back here she made me lunch…”

“Uhh…” Oliver interrupted, a horrified look coming over his face.

“It was okay. She made me grilled cheese, it was just a little bit black.” Will went on, not distracted by Thea’s increasing snickering as his story unfolded. “But she didn’t eat, she just gave me her tablet to play on and went upstairs.” he took a breath. “I went up to ask her if I could download a new game when I heard her, uhm, you know, yelling and stuff.”

“You did good calling me, Will. I’ll check on her and take care of her, and you are going to go with Thea to get some dinner.” he looked down, ruffling his sons dark hair. “Sound good?”

“Can we go to Big Belly Burger, Aunt Thea?” Will looked to her, a pleading smile on his face.

“Only if you get over here and give me a hug.” she held her arms open for him to step into. “Mmmwwwah!” she smacked a big kiss on top of his head. “Okay, you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” he nodded, taking her hand. “Dad, can you give Felicity a big hug for me and tell her I hope she feels better?”

“You bet, bud.” he smiled fondly at his son. “Can you call before you head back, see if I want you to bring us some dinner?” he asked Thea.

“Sure thing. Go take care of your lady. And let me just tell you from personal experience, trying on swimsuits, it’ll mess with the best of us.” Thea sagely explained as she led Will out the front door.

“Felicity?” Oliver called as he entered the master bedroom. “Felicity?” he called again, after receiving no reply.

“What are you doing home? It’s early. You had a budget meeting this afternoon. That’s why I took the day off to be home with Will.” she questioned, stepping out of their walk in closet, discreetly wiping her red eyes.

“I did, but I rescheduled it. Will called me, he was worried about you.” he spoke softly to her, drawing her into his arms.

“I made him worry? Oh no, poor Will. I need to go talk to him.” Felicity tried to pull away.

“He’s gone out to get dinner with Thea.” he explained, refusing to let her leave the circle of his arms. “I want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing…”

“Fe-li-ci-ty! It’s not nothing. Talk.”

She hesitated before speaking. “It’s my thigh gap, or more specifically, my absolute lack of thigh gap… Ughhh!” she growled, tossing her head back in frustration.

“What now?” Oliver asked, clearly confused, his brows drawing together.

“My thigh gap,” she went on, taking advantage of his confusion to step out of his arms, “the space that should, theoretically, exist between my thighs.” she gestured down, her hands pointed in a ‘v’ to the general area that was causing her distress.

“Uhm, I’ve got to say, I see no problem what so ever with that area you’re pointing to.” he quickly replied, a sexy smirk taking over his face. “In fact, it’s one of my favorite places.”

“Oliver!” she huffed, her loud voice making an appearance. “There’s supposed to be a gap between my thighs. And there’s not.”

“Who says there’s supposed to be a gap there? Because I think I need to visit them in my green leather outfit.”

“People. Fashion people. Models. Cosmo.” she mumbled out, flopping down onto their bed, throwing her arm over her eyes. “Thea has one. And Laurel, and Sara, and probably every other woman you’ve ever been with.” she grumbled, annoyed.

“Wow, okay. First off, please don’t put my sister in a list like that. Ever again. Because, gross.” Oliver grimaced, shaking his head. “And second, whoever came up with that as a standard of beauty or desirability or whatever, should shut the hell up.” he stepped up to the edge of the bed, standing between her knees. “Because to me,” he paused, “you, Felicity Megan Smoak, almost Queen,” he grinned down at her, pulling her arm from over her eyes, “you are the most desirable woman I’ve ever know.” he knelt on the mattress between her legs. “And the only thigh gap I care about is the one you get when I spread your legs.” his voice deepened to a sexy murmur as he braced himself over her on his elbows. “Understood?” he asked before gently nipping at her lips.

Felicity pouted up at him, before shrugging her shoulders.

“Do I need to convince you how much I want you?” he kissed her more firmly. “How much I always want you?” his nose nudging hers.

“I mean, you could do that, I guess.” she played coy, chasing his lips with hers. “If you want to.” she continued, her fingers going to work on his tie and undoing the buttons on his dress shirt.

“Mmmmm.” he hummed into the kiss. “I’m so glad I thought to send Will with Thea. I think you might need a bit of convincing. Might take a little time to make sure I get the point across.” he started to kiss down her neck, moving the neck of her shirt aside with his chin and he headed further south.

“Sometimes you have good ideas.” she teased, pushing the starched white shirt down his arms.

“Only sometimes?”

“Do you really want to revisit the list of all the stupid ideas you’ve had? Right now?” she arched into him as he kissed around her stomach, toying with the waistband of her dark wash jeans. “Didn’t think so.” she snarked when he didn’t respond, earning a nip from his sharp teeth.

“Hey you, behave.” he grinned up at her. “I’m working on a tight schedule here.” he winked, unbuttoning her pants and tugging the zipper slowly down.

I love Izuki
I love Izuki

I was rewatching some knb clips and I found a sadistic love for distressed Izuki’s voice XD

Hyuuga: Underclassmen wash their seniors’ backs.

Kagami: Huhh?

Izuki: You just wanna make him do it.

Kagami: Like this?

Hyuuga: UGHHH!

Izuki: HYUUGA??!!

Kagami: Huh? How’d that happen?


Hyuuga: …i thought he was going to kill me.

Huyyga: UGHHHHH!

Izuki: HYUUGA, WHY?!

Kagami: I thought I’d try again.

Izuki: With a scrubbing brush?!!!

obstinaterixatrix  asked:

TBH THE HURT MEME DIDNT REGISTER AS PROMPTS THE FIRST TIME I SAW THEM, if you ever want to do another you should totally do "what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!”

Pride can only carry Lance so far– it’s like, an almost-not-quite adrenaline rush that forces him to perform feats of strength he otherwise, sadly and reluctantly, would not be able to accomplish. Just like an adrenaline rush, the impact fades fast, and he’s left with numb arms and shaky legs and everything else that should normally follow an injury. 

His feat of strength, now, is just holding himself upright. Such a feat, such an accomplishment. He ignores the sound of his shoulder hitting the wall and sliding down it. 

“Ughhh,” says Lance. He tries to level his voice, to what he thought was a convincing tone. “I- I disabled the security-whatever, You all can go take the- the thing, I’m going to get back to my lion.”

His lion lays much too far from him, and the wall much too close. He blinks wearily, trying to focus on the corridor ahead. 

It works- if he leans against the wall, and lets it guide him home. It hurts. His shoulder burns, and his feet drag, but he’s moving, however slowly.

“Do you need backup?” comes an annoying voice over the comms, and Lance snorts. He takes more energy than he wants to muster, to sound so derisive, but he summons it anyway. Pride requires him to, and pride’s taking him places, not dead places. 

“I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove, here. On the surface, just that he’s fine, but it’s not like that illusion will last long. He still tries. “It just took longer- b-because. Reasons. Because.”

“Because reasons,” says Keith. Of course it’s Keith. “It doesn’t take longer just because, you sound- you sound awful.”

“I’m fine,” Lance snaps. He sighs, tired. “Focus on getting everyone else out of here, I didn’t have the hard part of the mission.”

He didn’t- in fact, Shiro gave him an embarrassingly easy mission- yet he’s still crawling back, his tail between his legs. Pitiful, but it’s not like they expected the heavy-hitters in this end of the base. He sucks up a hard breath, then steps forward again, legs shaking.

 Whatever particle beam had hit him, hit him hard, and he doesn’t quite understand the impacts. His legs wobble beneath him, and his head swims. 

“Which means you should be back by now, and you’re not,” Keith says, matter-of-factly. 

“Get everyone else,” Lance snaps. He’s so close to his lion, he can feel her worry from here. “They don’t have their lions- they need-”

He tries for a word, and it doesn’t come. Instead, he falters, knee slamming against the wall with a resounding thud, and he can’t move his arms fast enough to catch his fall. He slams against the ground, just as hard, armor rattling in his ears. 

“Lance!” yells Keith. His voice rattles in Lance’s comms, too, and Lance groans. “What do you mean you’re fine? You’re not fine!”

“’M fine,” Lance mumbles. “Blue is- is right there, see-” he says. Keith can’t see, he’s on the other side of the comms, so Lance points with his chin. Keith can’t see that, either. “Right there.”

“And where would right there be?” Keith says. “I can’t exactly see wherever you’re pointing.”

Solid flaw in Lance’s plan. “Jeez, left hangar, where the thing-y was-”

“-alright, I’ll be there in a tick.”

“Keith! I said I was fine-” Lance says, from the floor. Everything feels wobbly now. Maybe he could roll to his lion. “I’ve just- I need to roll there-”

Keith makes a pained noise from the very back of his throat, and it sounds so funny and unusual that Lance quiets. 

In the pause before Keith finds him, Lance makes it another solid two feet. It’s an accomplishment, just like it’s an accomplishment to roll his eyes when Keith pulls him to his feet. 

Keith’s arm grips Lance’s shoulder, hauling him to lean his back against the wall. His hand presses against Lance’s chin, fingers pulling at the skin, and he peers directly at Lance with such a intensity Lance tries to back up. 

“Um,” says Lance. “What-?”

“I think they hit you with something- can you feel this?” Keith says, and proceeds to do absolutely nothing. His hand’s still pressed under Lance’s chin, and Lance can’t see anything other than Keith’s face, and his sad, pinched, caterpillar eyebrows.  

“Come on, quit joshing me,” Lance says. “Poke me or whatever already.”

Keith makes another pained noise, and then hauls Lance up further. Lance gives him a thumbs up, before realizing the thumb does not actually go up. It wobbles pitifully. 

“Huh,” he says, as Keith pulls him forward. “Guess I’m not fine.”

At least Keith doesn’t make that sad whine again- instead, he sighs, and grips Lance’s side harder, and drags him across the last ten feet of the hangar.

It doesn’t take long, until they’re in the Blue Lion, Keith hanging over him and prodding him with weird, Altean medpacks.  

“Thanks,” Lance says, without the thumbs up to mask the sincerity in his voice. “I couldn’t have done that myself.” He means for it to sound sarcastic, for the sake of the poor pride that got him this far, but if it doesn’t, he’s blaming the particle beam. 

It probably doesn’t- Keith looks at him, soft, then turns back to the comms, to report the situation, and Lance groans as dramatically as he can muster.