i need to get off my soapbox

THE BIG CON ETIQUETTE POST
because that’s 30,000 people in a 3-block space

as a followup to the How To Survive Otakon post, here’s another one for getting along with your fellow congoers.

This is a common sense post about respect with a con-centric twist.  Because there is something about conventions that makes people forget the normal rules of social interaction (rather like high school, come to think of it), self-care, and rules about climbing on shit (I am SO GUILTY of this).

So remember the 3 R’s: Respect yourself, Respect others, and Respect your surroundings.

Respect Yourself.  The fastest way to make yourself cranky and miserable at a convention is to not take care of yourself.

  • Get plenty to eat and drink.  Let’s not lie, you’re going to be running on adrenaline and excitement and forget to have a meal.  Try to eat at least one ‘real’ meal a day, with like meat/meat alternatives and vegetables and stuff.  And carry a water bottle with you.
  • Get some rest.  Sleep every night, preferably for at least 5-6 hours.
  • Take a shower at LEAST once a day.  Everyone’s favorite smell is Sunday con funk, the odor of 10,000 unwashed folks wafting down the halls of the hotel/con center.  Do yourself and everyone else a favor and don’t contribute.  :)

Respect Others. Yes, we in the video game/anime/comics/tv show fandoms are all one big family of geek, but any one individual at a con is a stranger.  Be careful!

  • Do NOT throw things at people, hit other people, or otherwise attack other people.  It might be funny or in-character for your character to assault another character, but at the end of the day you are both cosplayers and you have just physically assaulted another person, which is, you know, ILLEGAL.  Don’t throw buckets at Karkats, don’t hit Akuma with your Innocence, don’t whack people over the head with shinai, don’t smack strangers with a Yaoi Paddle … you get the idea.
  • Don’t hug/touch people without asking permission first.  OMG IT’S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER STANDING RIGHT THERE HELP YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE A HUG - but don’t surprise them by jumping on them.  That’s a cosplayer, and a total stranger - hugging them suddenly and without warning may damage delicate parts of a costume, or hurt them.
  • Ask before taking pictures.  Sneaking photos of cosplayers when they’re posing already and surrounded by cameras is one thing, but sneaking photos while the cosplayer is rushing by to get somewhere or is eating or whatever is just creepy.  Think about how you would feel if someone you didn’t know snapped a candid shot of you!
  • Related: if anyone says 'no’ to a hug or photo, do not get angry.  You are not entitled to their attention or affection.  It doesn’t matter if they have an excuse or not.  It might seem absolutely imperative to get that picture or hug at the moment, but I promise you 20 minutes later you’ll see something equally exciting.  That’s just how cons are.
  • Watch what you say; don’t be rude.  Yes, that’s the worst cosplay you have ever seen, and you’re on your tenth banana man screaming 'PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!'  Let it go, keep walking, and ignore it.  I believe Thumper put it best: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.
  • Keep the pathways clear.  If you’re stopped for pictures or stop somebody else for a picture, move to the side of the hallway or into an alcove if possible.  If you need to sit down, find a corner and be out of the way.

Respect the location.  If enough people fail this rule, cons tend to lose their contracts with the venue. D=!

  • Keep out of areas that you are supposed to keep out of.  There’s a reason that area is off-limits, even if you don’t know what it is/it seems arbitrary.
  • If an employee of the venue/con staffer tells you to stop doing something, stop doing it. Some people are power-tripping, yes, but generally speaking if it might be out of line, you’re better off just not continuing.
  • Don’t throw wild room parties.  Room parties are awesome.  Wild room parties can get you kicked out of your hotel.
  • Don’t vandalize shit.  Uh.  This is illegal.  On a related note, if you make a mess in your hotel room with paints or whatever, you might end up paying for damages, so take care.

I think I might be PSA’d out for the day. phew.

Badass Woman - Bayonetta

Randomly I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate how insanely badass Bayonetta is.

So I heard recently that these games actually didn’t sell as well as expected.  I’m actually not that surprised.  Although Bayonetta could be alternatively titled “Fighting = Sex”, her complete ownage of her sexuality is actually the antithesis of classic female protagonists.  I would go so far as to say she is intimidating - dominant, confident in her body and appeal, strong in every sense of the word.  Because the game focuses so heavily on said sex appeal, and the character is self-aware enough to know she’s appealing, she can’t easily be fantasized as a woman to be dominated (and in fact the creator of the game expressed his distaste for doujin portraying her as such).  The fetishization of Bayonetta as a character is, for all intents and purposes, explicitly guided by the game in a way uncommon to video games (Lara Croft is a badass but her double-D boobs are essentially incidental; Samus’ gender identity is a nonstatement for 90% of her games).  The game is guided by the male gaze, but rather than feeling as if you’re looking at something forbidden, Bayonetta invites you to look.  She knows she’s hot.  She’s wearing her hair, for crying out loud.  If she didn’t want you to look she’d kick your ass.  By cranking her up to 11, and then having the ownership of that appeal be in her hands, there’s no sense you can own this chick.  If you’re lucky, she’ll own you - which I’ll definitely argue is the opposite of the average chauvinistic gamer’s attitude towards a fictional female.

Oh, and can we just take a second to enjoy how this doesn’t mean she’s just a Strong Girl and that’s her only characteristic?  One of my favorite moments in the whole game is her reaction to the sudden sprouting of a field of flowers early in the game - she gasps, presses a hand to her chest, and looks enchanted.  SHE LIKES FLOWERS.  Her theme is BUTTERFLIES.  She can be into stereotypically ‘girly’ things and still be incredibly awesome.

Bayonetta is so badass that she could have never fought a day in her life.  She could be a side character who knits baby booties all day and she’d still be insanely awesome and sexy.  Her confidence is incredible and appealing and basically, I love this character.

I wish we’d stop telling each other - and ourselves - that there’s a point at which we’re too old for fandom.

I spent every year from 14 to 25 telling myself that eventually I’d grow out of fandom: I would get too old to cosplay and I would write my own original stories instead of ‘just’ fanfiction.  After all, adults don’t write fanfic and adults don’t make costumes for themselves.  Adults get married and have kids and make costumes for their kids and write real stories and get published.

I’m 32 now and I’ve realized I’m probably never leaving fandom. I like cosplaying and I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pull off movie!Elrond without aging makeup; I love writing fanfiction. It’s how I absorb and interact with media I enjoy, and I’m happy here.

I now see the pressure I put on myself for what it was: internalized misogyny and buying into the adulting narrative of the generations before us millennials.  But that narrative still continues, telling the current crop of teens - especially female-bodied teens - that at some point they must put down their fun and focus on their careers, focus on growing up, get married, get promotions, have kids, and sacrifice their enjoyment for their family or their salary.

When I see teens talking about how they want adults to get out of fandom as a whole*, I see teens telling themselves they have to get out of fandom, that they’d feel pathetic if they were 30 and still writing fanfic, that they believe their days of fun are numbered.  I see them projecting their own expectations out on the people around them, and it makes me sad to see they feel like they have to stop someday.

Adulting isn’t just doing bills and chasing a life partner: it also isn’t just the right to decide to eat a pint of ice cream for dinner or grocery shopping for 37 frozen pizzas because why not. It’s also getting to decide what you spend your free time on with no restraint. It’s the right to fandom until the end of your life, or not.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello! You said once that recognizing demi-sexuality as a real thing was very important and I more than agree. However, and this is a serious question I'm not a troll and I in no way mean to upset you if I do I'm horribly sorry ): Is demi sexuality something that people don't believe exist? I always thought a lot of people needed an emotional attraction before getting a physical one and that a lot of people were like that, was I wrong?

Many people believe that demisexuality doesn’t exist because they believe that most people fall into that definition, and thus insist the label is silly and a way of obtaining ‘special snowflake’ status.

I totally understand where they’re coming from.  However, here’s the difference:

A sexual person says, “I will abstain from sleeping with you until we have a deep, emotional connection.”

A demisexual person says: “I will have no interest in sleeping with you until we have a deep, emotional connection, and maybe not even then.”

A demisexual person probably spends most of their life feeling exactly like an asexual person: no sexual attraction is experienced for 99.99999% of the population of the world.  That 0.00001% is a person you might even already be in a romantic relationship with but never felt sexual desire for until now.

A sexual person may feel sexual attraction towards a person, but choose not to act on it for any number of reasons.  This is abstaining from sex, not asexuality or demisexuality.  

The reason I feel that it’s important to acknowledge that these identities exist is because of things in the previous post I reblogged, and also because I wish I’d been told about these things in school.  I wish I’d been told that I (who had never felt sexual attraction for anyone up until a couple of years ago) was normal and I shouldn’t feel bad or broken.

Thanks for the question~ (and don’t worry, there’s a huge difference between a troll and an honest 'idgi’ question). it’s Asexual Awareness Week, everyone, so let’s talk about it~!

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Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles and How it Shot Itself in the Foot
aka why it was terrible to be a SakuSyao fan and read TRC

Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles was advertised as a ‘sequel’ to Card Captor Sakura - it was about teenaged versions of Sakura and Syaoran, Syaoran was going to be the main character, it was going to be published in Shonen Magazine, it looked like it was gonna be awesome. And for a while, Tsubasa was exactly what it advertised, but then it took a left turn out of Angelic Layer and Clamp Campus Detectives and veered off down the dark road of Tokyo Babylon and RG Veda, and basically proceeded to horribly betray everyone who was reading it in a variety of ways.

Here’s everything about Tsubasa that upset me and why.

Keep reading

I'm just saying: Facebook, you're doing it wrong.

I’ve seen a few responses from various people - particularly those who weren’t negatively effected by today’s cosplay Facebook purge - that have kind of gotten my back up.  While their points aren’t entirely invalid, I would like to point out the flaws in these responses as well as the reasons why I’m so offended by Facebook’s approach to the whole thing.

Let me start out by saying yes, Facebook has the right to delete any and all accounts that violate their Terms of Service, which includes all accounts utilizing a fake name.

However, their mishandling of the purge bothers me.  Here’s why:

1) There were no warnings issued. 10 months ago an email was sent out as a general ‘don’t use a fake name, etc etc’ sort of thing.  That was the only 'warning’ given.  If the point of the purge was to remove fake named accounts, how much trouble would it be to send out a 'change your name to your legal name in the next 48 hours or you’re out of luck!’ email have been?

I would have said 'yes, that would be difficult’, but actually:

2) Accounts were earmarked for deletion before the deletion occurred, and alterations to account names did not save the account from deactivation. In other words, Facebook accumulated in advance all of the accounts they were going to mass deactivate.  They did not go back to check and see if any information had been corrected - that is, people who changed their names to their real name still had their account deactivated.  So … seriously, why didn’t they send out a mass warning message first?  They already had your information set and ready for the destruct button.

3) When your account is reactivated, there is no dialogue and no alterations to settings.  Facebook won’t talk to you; all they want is your ID and to reactivate your account with no fuss.  They reactivate your account with your public-private settings unaltered, but your real name now attached to the account.  If you are using a fake name, you probably are trying to avoid airing your real name to thousands of friended people.  But with your account deactivated, you don’t get a say in the privacy settings - you’re stuck with what you had before your involuntary name change.  If Facebook took all your settings to private and let you reset your account, I would have more respect for them, but as it is I’m just annoyed.

Okay, that aside.

I’ve seen a few people say something to the effect of 'why do you have a separate cosplay account?’

Because the first place new employers look is your facebook.

Google your real name.  What’s the first thing that pops up?  If your Facebook isn’t on that first page, I’ll be a little surprised.  People you send your resume to will google your name, check your Facebook, look into your personal life.  It’s great you can type 120 words a minute, but if your FB has pictures of you shitfaced, they don’t want you working there.

But you don’t do anything illegal.  You just dress up as pretend characters and go to cartoon conventions.  They can’t decide to not hire you for that!

Oh yes they can.  Congratulations - your first impression was your resume and cover letter, your second impression is what they see online.  They can’t fire you for your weird hobbies, but they can certainly fail to hire you.

Tumblr gives us a false impression of an open-minded world ready to pounce on social justice issues, but most people see costuming as a weird thing some niche people do who are weird.  Don’t be fooled!  The consequences for being a Strange Person in the adult world are much more severe than in high school.

A long time ago, it was considered imperative to use only pseudonyms online.  We were told that everyone on The Big Scary Internet was a Stranger and Probably A 30-Year-Old Man Who Wants To Kidnap You.  You weren’t to give out personal information.  Facebook and other social media have successfully advertised that using your real name has absolutely no consequences!  Just use our Magical Privacy Settings!  Only in reality anonymity on the internet is pretty much a myth anyway, and anything you attach your real name to, Google is ready to snatch into their massive search engine to show to all the world.

My point is, those of us who used a pseudonym on Facebook were in violation of their TOS, yes.  But if your stance is to point and laugh, I’d like you to just take a moment to walk in our shoes.  We have a reason.  For many of us, it’s a good one.  But I guess Facebook just won’t be our home anymore.

How to Fail Spectacularly (and recover gracefully): a generation of perfectionists

Things I am guilty of: never allowing myself to fail.

When I mess up, it’s THE END OF THE WORLD.  (you didn’t get the memo, did you? Yeah, my fuckups have ended life as we know it 17 times already, but due to shenanigans time got reset.)  I have a number of flaws, which I can admit to myself, but when they cause me to make a mistake I am ruined.

I am a perfectionist.

Perfectionists are like cats.  When a cat fails, they act like nothing happened, then disappear for hours at a time as if embarrassed.  They also will make the same mistake again, and again, because they don’t learn from them.

Earlier today I reblogged an article from jimbly which mentions how we’ve not been allowed to fail as a generation.  This is a pretty first world problem sort of issue, but it’s also incredibly accurate in middle-to-high-income America, inherent in the education system, etc etc.  We are rescued from our mistakes by being told they aren’t mistakes, or if they are it wasn’t our fault.  Where is the personal responsibility? People wail, but it’s easy to figure out where it went: out the window, along with failure as a whole.  If you’re not allowed to fail because the lowest common denominator is (minimal) success, then of course failure is a terrifying prospect!  What do you do when, as an adult, you are faced with the prospect of not being told you’re always doing it right?

On the other end of the spectrum you have the ‘failure is everything but perfection’, and if you make even the smallest error it is regarded as THE END OF THE WORLD by those around you.  Failure is equally terrifying in this world as well, and should a mistake be made, it must be hidden from view to save face.  What do you do when you make a mistake at work now?  Hope nobody notices until it’s too late to fix?

The problems caused when failure is not allowed, either by coddling or punishment, include depression and anxiety, all the physical symptoms of those mental disorders, behavioral disorders, and I’m sure a host of other things psychologists could name.  But there is another option.

Allow yourself to fail. 
Then learn from it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

do you think age matters when you cosplay? if someone is really young?

(source: http://happyconstories.tumblr.com/post/26475253499/megumiovvo-let-me-tell-you-about-this-woman-i)

(source : http://instagram.com/p/bXYGg8GKBy/ )

I really don’t think age matters. :)

Honestly I think in the cosplay community we sometimes forget that in America at least, Halloween is when most people dress up and little kids dress up for trick-or-treating, so there’s nothing strange about cosplay itself for small children.

But I’m going to guess you’re talking more about this idea of ‘agism’ that has begun to spring up, particularly in the Homestuck community, and being a very young member of this fandom compared to many older teens and adults at meetups and cons.

The short answer is: I don’t think it matters how old you are when it comes to the activity of cosplaying.  However, age does matter when interacting with other members of fandom.  The long answer is under the cut.

Keep reading

I have a lot of problems with tumblr culture but if there’s one good thing to come out of it I definitely sit up and pay extra attention when I see anything about PoC, women, or LGBT* communities in ways I never did before

friendly reminder regarding sj posts in my blog

if you don’t want to read anything that’s ranty or in any way related to social justice, I always tag posts related to such things as ’i need to get off my soapbox’.  Feel free to tumblr savior it!

and now back to your regularly scheduled fandom blogging. (mostly.)

anonymous asked:

Dude just because there should be more poc characters doesn't mean they ALL have to be poc. If you want more poc cecil fan art around fucking draw it yourself instead of expecting other people to change their headcanons just so you can be happy

oh gosh, if I could draw poc cecil I would, but I’m afraid this is about the extent of my art skills, haha.

In other news, I’d really love to read the post that you read, because I’m not sure it was mine.  I, personally, wish I saw more poc Cecil on my dash.  But I didn’t say, and nor do I mean, that I therefore think that everyone who drew white Cecil should have drawn poc Cecil.  They are free to draw what they want!  I am free to not reblog it much.

I just want to ask you a question, anon: Why do you feel threatened because I expressed that I prefer poc Cecil?

anonymous asked:

I am not sure if you really want my two cents, but I think it's perfectly acceptable for someone of a lighter skin color to darken themselves up. People do it all the time in real life situations with tanning beds and bronzers, so why not cosplayers? I think people sometimes forget the fact that it's pretty common for darker skinned individuals to lighten their skin, too. Just don't go overboard crazy, but you're a pretty good cosplayer so I think you know your boundaries.

I think this is good advice!

I’ve actually used a bronzer before to tan my skin, to dress up as Pharaoh Atem from Yuugioh back in 2008.  (It’s a terrible cosplay so I won’t show pics.)  The result was that I looked as if I’d managed to tan (I don’t naturally tan, just burn), and nobody saw anything of note except one or two friends that thought I had gone tanning.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but then again we hadn’t had an asshat white boy who had been selected over actors of color to play an Inuit kid saying ‘oh yeah, I just need to get tan!’ at that time.

On the other hand, if a white person who could naturally tan chose to cosplay Korra and tanned for the purpose, I probably wouldn’t blink an eye - it would be their natural skin tone.  Is using a fake tanner such as bronzer any different?  I really do think motivation is a huge factor in the offense level, but it’s not like one can wear a sign explaining the motivation, and the hurtful factor of simply creating darker skin probably doesn’t change.

I don’t think it’s the same thing for a person of color to choose to lighten their skin for a character, though - there is a social aspect in play here in America, where white privilege is systemic, and the hurtful factor doesn’t go both ways.

I’m leaning towards a natural bronzing that wouldn’t go outside the range my skin could get to if I tanned.  Obviously going farther than that would be undoubtedly offensive, but I’m still wavering on whether going even that far is offensive.

yourehotbut:

It’s important to note that we’re not picking on the cosplayers themselves (at least not if they are genuine, awesome people like you seem to be!) but rather on the attitude in fandom that means quality cosplays go unnoticed while others receive attention based purely on the sex appeal of the cosplayers.

I get what you’re trying to do here, and I can see how this is the sort of thing that upsets people.  However - finding popular/tumblr famous pictures, looking at the costumes, and then picking on them is probably not the best way to go about addressing the problem??

Maybe instead post pictures of costumes you think are fantastic regardless of how ‘hot’ you find the cosplayer instead?

Because as it is … things that you will be mistakenly addressing:

  • cosplays you don’t think look polished, but the cosplayer is not looking for critique/is a first time cosplayer/is borrowing a costume
  • a bad costume day - something busted, the cosplayer wasn’t ready for a photo, something sagged when it shouldn’t have, etc.
  • unprofessional photography - even the 'hottest’ person or the best costume can be rendered ugly by a photo taken with a 3GS

Basically you seem like nice cool people but the premise of your blog has the potential to really hurt some feelings. :(

/my unwanted opinion

/sorry

this goes out to the person with the opinion about superwholock fans

did you seriously think i was going to publish your hate ask, or that I give a shit what you think about superwholock fans?

the parody/affectionate parody post has nothing to do with the quality of fandom.  it’s not the reality of their fandom that’s being represented, it’s the creator’s perception of their fandom.  a creator can dislike their fandom, but if so they need to be the bigger person and not create a derogatory joke character ‘based’ on them.  Shaming people never makes them change in a meaningful way.

so, >implying I give a flying fuck about your opinion, kindly go away 

hammerwood  asked:

OH OH um what do you look for most in a good wig, and what are some of your cosplay pet peeves? (i.e., costume satin, bad attitude, not sealing your paint)

Okay um, in wigs I mostly look for them being thick enough for styling! A thin wig won’t let you do spikes because it will expose the wefts.  And if you’re doing any extreme styling with a wig with hairspray and stuff, I actually look for lower-quality fibers because they’re easier to work with?  Really silky wigs take a shitton of product to style and I just don’t have that kind of patience. :V

I actually have a lot of little cosplay pet peeves but I try to not let them get to me too much because they’re just dumb.  You basically named three of my biggest ones - highly reflective material like satin or PVC making up a whole cosplay makes it hard to hide the flaws and doesn’t do well in a harsh flash, and a bad attitude and not sealing your paint is just disrespectful.

I think my biggest cosplay pet peeve is honestly the … weird pseudo-competitiveness of the hobby? Like the constant comparing of cosplayers to other cosplayers, or the tendency to put cosplayers on a pedestal for their ability (partially because unless you do a lot of sewing yourself, you probably cannot tell apart a well-made costume and a well-taken photo)! I know a lot of people say it over and over, but we really are just a bunch of nerds in costume and the comparisons - which, by the way, people have lately taken to making right to each other’s faces, just take away from the fun of celebrating a series or the cosplay hobby itself.

Now if you’re competing in a hall costume contest or whatever that’s a different story, but I think that goes without saying. :V

A Creed Against Stupid

janersm wrote:

[Anti-gay, racist, etc.] is what sells. That is what the world seems to expect. That doesn’t make it right, but that’s what makes it the fact of these shows. Women could be stronger in the series, races could defy the expectations, and gay and lesbian characters could be more believable if people would watch that.

OH HELL NO

If strong women were written as women who are strong instead of Men with Boobs, people would want to watch strong women.

If COC were written with any kind of awareness of how their character is affected by their race, rather than their race being their entire character, people would want to watch COC.

If LGBT characters were written with personality instead of having a personality defined by their sexuality, people would watch LGBT characters.

People will watch anything that’s interesting.  Where media stumbles is that in its prejudice, they have failed to write these marginalized groups in interesting, i.e. fully-realized, ways.