i need to get back to this meme

    LOOK WHO’S BACK! it’s me and i am feeling a little bit better, i’ve also massively MISSED harley and i can’t wait to get back to her… first things first, all memes in my inbox will be deleted for a fresh start, all drafts that aren’t NEW starters will be deleted and all threads dropped for a complete fresh start. i will also be removing any mains & exclusives to start fresh again as well ( not that i don’t want to be mains & exclusives with the ones i am currently, i just need to start fresh ). this blog is now PRIVATE & SELECTIVE, meaning i will only interact with mutuals in both threads and ic memes, even then i will probably still be selective about who i am going to be interacting with. i don’t want to get like i did last time and i don’t want to feel uncomfortable on my dash again. but yes, i am back, i have missed you all, I LOVE YOU all and i can’t wait to write with people again. 

How each Overwatch character texts

Genji- laughs aloud at your response but leaves you on read if he has nothing to add. Doesn’t see an issue with this.

McCree- “I’m ur huckleberry 😘🤠 lol. Sent from my iPhone”

Pharah- Promptly and with perfect grammar. When she is sarcastic, people worry she is being serious and that they’ve angered her.

Reaper- if you had plans at 6:00 and you’re one minute late, instead of waiting a few minutes or texting you “ETA?” he just sends an angry selfie with the place you’re supposed to meet in the background and the Snapchat overlay reading “6:01” over it

Soldier: 76- still somehow has a phone plan where texts cost 15 cents apiece. Left you a voicemail that you definitely didn’t listen to. Gets mad when nobody listens to his voicemails. When someone suggests he get a phone plan with unlimited texting, he goes on a rant about how he doesn’t need it and people should just check their voicemails more often

Sombra: screenshots every conversation just in case. Half of her messages are screenshots of other messages. Nobody can reach her unless she wants to be reached because all of her messages always come from a different number.

Tracer- often sends one-word texts that require the recipient to call her for clarification. For example: “Beatles?? 😰”

Bastion- texts exclusively in emoji

Hanzo- similar to Genji but he just sends back “lol” as an acknowledgement that he has received and read the text, regardless of the appropriate tone.

Junkrat- phone is broken, has no one to text. If someone needs to contact him they do it through Roadhog.

Widowmaker- lurks in the Talon group text. Responds only when she has something to say. If she’s got a problem with you she’ll send you a vague but menacing “we need to talk” message and then switch off her phone for 14 hours so that by the time she follows up you’ve had several panic attacks and are willing to do whatever she says to avoid being in trouble. Do not be friends with Widowmaker.

Mei- double texts but is anxious about double texting. If you send her something that made you think of her she’ll respond along the lines of “awh!! cute!! 😊 thank you so much for sharing this!!”

Torbjörn- his last 30 texts are a back and forth with his wife. “On my way home. Do we need anything from the store?” “Nope.”

D.Va- sometimes gets distracted and forgets to text people back, but when she is texting, she hits “send” about 14 times before she finishes a complete thought. A series of texts from D.Va might start out “Okay” “So” “I’ve got to tell you” “did I mention what my dad said today?”

Orisa- you know that one person in the group chat who’s younger than everyone else? That’s Orisa

Reinhardt- all caps all the time. He will send you a meme followed by “HAHAHAHAHA” and then sign it “REINHARDT WILHELM”

Roadhog- sends menacing and unclear texts like “meet me in front of target in 30 minutes. we will leave without you.” which doesn’t really tell you whether he’s threatening to leave without you if you’re late or informing you that he will not be giving you a ride home from target and you should arrange your own transportation.

Winston- sends you links to 9-minute videos on YouTube

Zarya- sends context-free nonsense like “hey everyone settle a debate which finger would you choose to lose if you had to choose one finger?” and if people ask her “what the hell” she responds “))))”

Ana- sends Fareeha a cartoon where the little cartoon lady is rolling her eyes and saying “don’t even LOOK at me until I’ve had my morning coffee!!” and captions it “made me think of you!! xxx your mother Ana Amari”

Lucio- this is who D.Va was texting with earlier, and he’s very responsive to everyone’s stories. He also owns that Jackbox party game and regularly invites everyone to play. It’s always fun. A group chat with Lucio is always very active.

Mercy- incredibly passive aggressive. Refuses to engage in a text conversation unless the other person initiated it and therefore never really texts.

Symmetra- prefers texting to talking. Never makes a typo. Will respond to a text with “K.” and doesn’t always realize this comes across as “I am upset with you,” which was not her intent.

Zenyatta- this is the guy you text for advice or to vent. He’s 100% in your corner, he never takes the stranger’s side, and if you start out “ugh you’re not gonna believe what happened,” he’ll respond “👀”

the chronicles of meme-llura
~ in which allura completely misuses earth memes


allura: yeah can i get uhhhh, one bofa?

mcdonald’s employee: what … what the hell’s a bofa

allura: (starts giggling) (raises her finger and opens her mouth)

lance: (stepping in front of her) wHAT MY FRIEnd meant to say is, um, she’d like a mcflurry please, yeah, ha, we’re ordering together uh make that two mcflurries


(allura and hunk at the comic store)

comic store employee: hey, morning guys, let me know if you need help finding anything (sneezes into his elbow)

hunk: thanks man we’re all set

allura: yes, and (dabs) right back at ya ;))


mrs. holt: (puts a plate of dinner before allura) and for our royal guest ! :)

allura: thank you mrs. holt :) it looks so delicious, i can’t wait to vore all of this!!

matt: (drops his fork)

pidge: aaaaah would anyone like more peas come on allura let’s go get more


allura: (walks up really close to keith while he’s drinking a soda)

keith: (looks at her and stops drinking) what—

allura: (grabs the soda can and throws it out of the nearest window) YEET

anonymous asked:

JUNGKOOKIE OPPA! SARANGHAE!!!!!

JK: ??!!!??????!!

JK: …

JK: I’m sorry, but I’ll need to check your age.

Feyre: Tamlin, I need to get out of the house and help dealing with my problems and I want to be useful and please hold my hair back while I get sick and acknowledge the fact that I am having nightmares and also btw I hate this wedding dress and Ianthe is weirding me out and-

Tamlin: Empathy machine broke

Feyre: Rhys, I need-

Rhys: Here, have it all, please tell me what you need, here, have my soul and whoops is that too much and please if you need anything else Mor will be right here, but not too close if you don’t want and also lol don’t go talk to the Suriel for a while ok

  • my child: h...h-h...
  • me: oh my gosh!!!! your first word!!
  • my child: h-h...hercules MULLIGAN !!!!11!!1! A TAILOR SPYIN ON THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, I TAKE THEIR MEASUREMENTS, INFORMATION AND THEN I SMUGGLE IT-
  • me: ...UP.
  • my child: TO MY BROTHER'S REVOLUTIONARY COVENANT I'M RUNNING WITH THE SONS OF LIBERTY AND I AM LOVIN IT, SEE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U UP AGAINST THE RUFFIANS WE IN THE SHIT NOW SOMEBODY GOTTA SHOVEL IT HERCULES MULLIGAN I NEED NO INTRODUCTION WHEN YOU KNOCK ME DOWN I GET THE FUCK BACK UP AGAIN
  • me: (through tears) beautiful.
"I can't sleep" Starters
  • [ contents below are super cute and might get a lil angsty! ]
  • "C-can you stay for a while?"
  • "Rub my back please?"
  • "Don't leave me."
  • "What do you do when you can't sleep?"
  • "Why are you still up?!"
  • "You need to sleep!"
  • "Do you know what time it is?"
  • "You should be sleeping..."
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "I'll get you a glass of water."
  • "Sleep with me?"
  • "Please stay."
  • "I don't want to sleep alone."
  • "I'm scared of the dark..."
  • "I had a nightmare."
BTS X THEIR FIRST BABY

JIN : You did enough giving birth. Now I will do my part.*looks at the baby*  WAIT ?!!  Why did you give him your eyes ? I gave you the perfect DNA why ruin it ?? WHY ??

SUGA : *Adopts* I will teach him how to sleep 22 hours in one go so our love life will not get affected. (min yoongi genius)

JHOPE : *Plays Lion king song* HAAAAA ZIVENYAAA HERE’S YOUR HOPE CHIWAWA ! *Armys applausing and jumping and crying*

RAPMON : Drops the baby. The baby breaks the floor … no DNA test needed.   

JIMIN : *jealous* He is cute but I was cute FIRST just so you know … 

V : I heard if you eat blue berries this time, our next one will turn blue ! 

JUNGKOOK : The baby walks and talks and can break dance already. His dad is a fetus so the golden baby drives his parents back home from the hospital.

The Front Bottoms Starters

❝ I know it’s so pathetic, I wouldn’t move to save my life. ❞
❝ They tell me you’re lonely. Well, it’s no surprise. ❞
❝ You and me could never be, ‘cause I don’t laugh at shit that I don’t think is funny. ❞
❝ You’re so eager to please. ❞
❝ You’d get on your knees for any fucking asshole who says he’s all you need. ❞
❝ You are water twelve feet deep and I am boots made of concrete. ❞
❝ We’re so drunk. We’re so cool. ❞
❝ They won’t know who I was before. ❞
❝ There’s beer and coffee mugs, water bottles and soda cups. ❞
❝ First, I am digging myself out of this hole. ❞
❝ I love your eyes. The way they look when you’re uncomfortable. ❞
❝ You’re high school and I’m just more like real life. ❞
❝ You were okay as a girlfriend. ❞
❝ I’ll do whatever you want all night. ❞
❝ There’s comfort in the silence of a living room when the TV is on for you. ❞
❝ We will eventually fall out. ❞
❝ It will someday make me very, very, very rich. ❞
❝ Know what I think’s really sad? To know how really sad you are. ❞
❝ Probably gonna leave real soon, just wanted to let you know, you were my life. ❞
❝ No need to hide. ❞
❝ You were my crime, I’ll serve this sentence the rest of my life. ❞
❝ I got so stoned I fell asleep in the front seat. I never sleep in the front seat. ❞
❝ Come on, baby, calm me down. You’re the only one who knows how. ❞
❝ God forbid I ever stop feeling sorry for myself for being selfish. ❞
❝ This is not the way I plan on living for the rest of my life, but for right now it gets me by. ❞
❝ She hopes I’m cursed forever. ❞
❝ My nightmares will have nightmares every night. ❞
❝ Say what you have to say and try not to cry. ❞
❝ This is just not what you wanted at this point in your life. ❞
❝ It’s so hard to stay when all you want to do is run. ❞
❝ I totally get you. I was a birdcage and you were meant to fly. ❞
❝ You are the poison I need less of inside my body. ❞
❝ You need a means to an ending, I need a spiritual cleansing. ❞
❝ That can be our thing, what do you think? ❞
❝ I can fight the rain clouds in your life every day, every night. ❞
❝ Can’t you see? I am delusional with love. ❞
❝ The love of my life is gone forever. ❞
❝ Get her back, you know I wish I could. ❞

I NEED ONE DIRECTION TO BE BACK TOGETHER! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS WAKE UP AT 7 AM ON A HOT SUMMER DAY WITH THE AC ON TO WATCH ELLEN ON ONE CHANNEL TO CATCH NIALL, WATCH LATE LATE SHOW ON ANOTHER CHANNEL TO CATCH HARRY, AND LISTEN TO THE RADIO TO WAIT FOR LIAM’S GUESTING?!

I need to lie down.

Originally posted by suitelikechocolate

pregnancy sentence starters.

“ i’m pregnant. ”
“ i’m pregnant and it’s yours. ”
“ why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. ”
“ are you pregnant? ”
“ i need to tell you something. ”
“ i have money for abortion. ”
“ how much is an abortion? ”
“ maybe we can put it up for adoption? ”
“ i didn’t ask for this to happen. ”
“ what are we going to do? ”
“ i think i’m pregnant. ”
“ didn’t you use a condom? ”
“ i’m not on birth control. ”
“ it’s definitely yours, i’m not like that. ”
“ i don’t know who’s it is! ”
“ are you really pregnant? ”
“ congratulations on your pregnancy! ”
“ how far long are you? ”
“ it’s too late for abortion, i’m sorry. ”
“ so who is the babydaddy? ”
“ how does it feel to you know be pregnant and all? ”
“ are you going to keep it? ”
“ do you want to keep it? ”
“ did you tell anyone else about it? ”
“ we can raise it. ”
“ we can keep it. ”
“ i am not going through with this. ”
“ what are the options? ”
“ what did the pregnancy test come back as? ”
“ i need a pregnancy test. ”
“ i took a test. a pregnancy test. ”
“ did you get the test yet? ”
“ get more than one test, too. ”
“ it is yours! just as much as it is mine! ”
“ i’m pregnant and your going to help me. ”
“ i don’t want to tell anyone until i’m twelve weeks. past the risk for miscarriage. ”
“ i’m so sorry this happened. ”
“ this pregnancy is going to kill me. ”
“ i’m ready to give birth already. ”
“ how much does a pregnancy test cost? ”
“ can you still get pregnant on the pill? ”
Another 100 Random RP Starters

- does include some swearing; feel free to edit when sending in an ask to fit character’s speech

  • “No. No, no, no. Don’t you dare try to pin the blame on me.”
  • “Did you even bother to think about the consequences?”
  • “Listen here you useless paperclip!”
  • “Meerkats are murderous little bastards.”
  • “For the record, I hate everything.”
  • “Do you even remember me?”
  • “Did you know the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes may have killed a man?”
  • “I’m going to join NASA and fling myself into the sun.”
  • “I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
  • “Please don’t. Just… don’t.”

Keep reading

  • psychic: [reads my mind]
  • me: okay but it's may and we still haven't had an nct comeback. they have had so many opportunities to comeback now and they have not taken any of them. they could have done it on U's anniversary which would have made perfect sense but no they had to fucking ignore it. april would have been good too and even this month but its almost mid may and there's still no teasers. what the fuck is sm doing. there are no sm groups promoting right now so whY THE FUCK ARE NCT NOT HAVING A COMEBACK! EXO ARE MEANT TO BE COMING BACK IN JUNE OR JULY. THAT MEANS IF NCT DON'T COMEBACK THIS MONTH THEY'LL COMEBACK IN AUGUST. I CAN'T WAIT TILL FUCKING AUGUST I NEED KUNSOL TO DEBUT. SM WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
  • psychic: [wipes away tears] same
300 words or less

Mission: Either pick a starter (or 2 or 3 or 1500) or have people ask you to write a small thing in 300 words or less in response.  You (or your followers) can pick whether you make it angsty or fluffy or smutty or whatever and who you’re writing about. Feel free to add starters!

Starters:
“I can’t sleep without you here…”
“I’m fine.”
“It’s fine.”
“I’m not okay.”
“I’m okay.”
“I’m leaving…and I’m not coming back.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“I never meant for it to go this far.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“I’m never going to leave you.”
“Shh, you’re safe now.”
“I can’t remember the last time I was happy.”
“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”
“Great, how are we supposed to get home now?”
“I hope you like scary movies!”
“You’re not gonna cry, are you?”
“I got the call last night…”
“Wow, I guess you really are that ticklish.”
“I tried to surprise you, but I spilled your coffee on the way over…”
“Do you wanna get out of here?”
“Did you hear something?”
“Shh, I think I hear something.”
“You smell really nice.”
“I wish you would talk to me.”
“I need you to talk to me.”
“Can you hear me?”
“Please don’t do this…”
“You won’t miss me.”
“I wish I never met you.”
“I wish I met you sooner.”
“You wanna go back to my place?”
“You should think about what you’ve done.”

Dating Montgomery De La Cruz Would Include:

Originally posted by rvierdale

  • Wearing his shirts whenever you can
  • Slow, passionate kisses
  • Him being a cocky shit when he asks you out
  • Changing him for the better
  • Playing with each other’s hair
  • Going to all of his games
  • Being his biggest supporter
  • “Monty, I need to get this done.” “I don’t care, come cuddle me”
  • Him being protective over you, especially around Bryce
  • Constantly stealing his hoodies
  • Always has an arm around your shoulder or waist
  • Him sneaking in through your window at night
  • He’s so fucking clingy (“baby, babe, babygirl, baaaaby” “What?” “Cuddle?”)
  • Piggy back rides
  • Random long make out sessions
  • So much jealousy
  • Will literally do anything for you
  • Carrying your bags/books
  • Being the type of girlfriend that sends him memes at 2 AM
  • So much PDA it’s unbelievable
  • Butt grabs
  • Tickle fights (which lead into making out)
  • Basically everything leads into making out
  • Being that couple that has always been together but no one really knows how or when, it just happened and it’s awesome

A/N: Sorry it’s not long, I don’t really have much to go on.

Vulnerable Situations Sentence Meme

{ trigger warning, some nsfw and possible noncon/dubcon }

  • “Had a bit much to drink? You could hardly stand.”
  • “Were you robbed or is kinky foreplay gone wrong the reason you’re tied up?”
  • “My, what have we here?”
  • “You look nervous. What’s wrong?”
  • “I think you might have been drugged.”
  • “There’s no hiding how hot and bothered you are, darling…”
  • “You’re burning up and in no condition to be walking about, get to bed.”
  • “Are you still awake? Maybe the drug wasn’t strong enough…”
  • “When I saw you looking so helpless, I just couldn’t resist…”
  • “You shouldn’t be walking all alone this time of night. There’s dangerous people around. Who knows what might happen…”
  • “Heh. And how do you plan to stop me?”
  • “I’ll strap you down nice and tight… It’ll be fun watching you squirm.”
  • “Are you crying?”
  • “Struggle all you want, cutie.”
  • “I’m n-not drunk, I only had a couple of drinks.”
  • “Put me down, I can walk!”
  • “Mind untying me?”
  • “I feel kinda… dizzy…”
  • “I might be coming down with something.”
  • “Stay back…”
  • “W-why can’t I move?”
  • “Keep your fucking hands to yourself.”
  • “I don’t need your help.”
  • “Really, I’m fine.”
  • “Apparently the brownies I ate were a bit… special.”
  • “I can’t get up…”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “No, don’t let them take me!”
  • “I can’t go back there, I can’t…”
that “locking my doors” meme, reconsidered.

This is for the Nonny who wanted to share how much they wanted refugees to die somewhere else, but wasn’t brave enough to put their name on their hate, and everyone else who might think they’re Good People but that charity only goes so far….

———————–

Shared from a friend:

From my friend Karen Gillmore:

Now about that meme going around —I won’t share the image, but it says: “Not takin’ in Syrian refugees and closin’ our borders isn’t "mean” or “heartless”. I lock my doors to my house every night. I don’t lock my doors because I hate the people outside my house. I lock them because I love the people inside my house.“

This meme set the hackles up on the back of my neck, and I couldn’t quite say why. But here’s an analysis from one Frank GT (no, I don’t know who he is, this is a copy-n-paste) that gets to the heart of why that meme bothers me:

"I can’t sit back and say nothing as more and more people share this. I’m beginning to believe that the problem is more intellectual than ideological. When you can’t form a simple analogy, or identify an analogy that simply doesn’t work, you’re not a racist. You’re an idiot.

For this analogy to work, you’d have to add that Syrian refugees also live in a house, but their house is on fire. They’re trapped and they have nowhere to go. If they want to escape, they need to run through the fire, or jump out the window. They need to bring their children with them too. So they risk it. Some get killed, some get burned, some get lucky. They escape the house. They can see your house in the distance. Your house is perfectly safe, far from the fire, but it’s at the top of a steep hill, too steep for some. The journey is long and hard, but they risk it. Some die of dehydration, some starve to death, but some get lucky. They arrive at your porch. They take one look back at the inferno they left behind, then they breathe a sigh of relief. There’s a knock at your door. You look through the window. You see them, and they see you. They’re hungry, broken, desperate. They have nothing to give, as they’ve lost everything. You take a look at your family. They’re cuddled under a blanket on the couch. They’re safe and warm, their bellies are full. You look back out the window. You lock eyes with one of the refugees. You open your window. The refugees smile. They think they’ve made it. The infamous house on top of the hill. You proceed to flip them off and tell them to go back where they came from. They’re shocked. You close the window, and rejoin your family on the couch. You feel good about yourself. You shouldn’t, because that is the very definition of mean and heartless.

That’s how an analogy works.”
~ Frank GT