my computer and the internet needs to be taken away from me,,
it’s fucking almost 5AM and I messaged the Priest band facebook thinking y’know they wouldn’t see it bc they’re off and they probably wont check them buT FUCK ME IF A LITTLE ‘SEEN 03:43′ DIDN’T POP UP LIKE W H A T
When *you’re sending hate and forget to turn on anon for one of the messages 😂 ^^^
Like, lol. This is ridiculous, Tigs. Come on now.
Backstory: For the people who are seeing this who aren’t familiar with my relationship with this darling girl, we “talked” for awhile, and eventually stopped when she tried to manipulate and guilt trip me. Like, I’d been busy, and we hadn’t even really spoken all that much to begin with. But yeah. Like, I stopped talking to her after that whole fiasco. I saw that I was dodging a bullet, and I left. Like, No. I’m not dating an abuser. Newsflash, emotional abuse, manipulation, guilt tripping your partners when they have done nothing wrong IS ABUSE.
So, I left. Like, I saw the warning signs, and I was out. She messaged me again a few weeks later with some bullshit apology like, “I’m sorry I came off as manipulative (not I’m sorry I was manipulative). I’m trying to improve. All I can do is ask that you stick around and help me to improve… I thought that’s what mommies did… I’m sorry if I was mistaken…”
LIKE??? COME ON! THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT. That right there is manipulation. You’re saying I’m not a mommy if I don’t take you back and put up with your shit. NO. NO. NO. The door. Bye. Shoo.
AND NOW, YOU’RE SENDING ME HATE ON TUMBLR! LIKE, YOU ARE A CLASSIC ABUSER. LIKE, TEXTBOOK DEFINITION. I WAS SOOOO RIGHT ABOUT YOU. All you’ve done is show me your true colors. I mean, I knew what you were already, but this definitely validates it.
Let’s take this from the top, shall we?
1. “Super friendly my ass.” Read the rest of that line. My description literally says, “Super friendly! But also NOT having any of your shit!” Which is exactly how I am. You tried to manipulate and use me, and I told you to fuck off. I would gladly do it again.
2. “You need jesus”
Polyamorus relationships are gross, you can’t love 2 people at the same time..” Lmao, okay? That’s like, your opinion man? I’m pretty sure I’ve loved more than one person my entire life. Like, oh I don’t know, my family, friends, teachers, romantic partners? Other important people in my life? And at this very moment, I have two romantic partners who I love. Whatever though, I don’t need to validate this to you. You’re a child. An immature child who needs to have the internet taken away from her before she makes an even bigger fool out of herself. (She’s not really a child. She’s a grown woman, but she acts like a child, obviously. Not as in an age regression way, as in a throwing a tantrum and sending hate because someone doesn’t want her way. I have to state this because trolls.)
All these poor people that follow you are being mislead” Nah, fam. I’m exactly who I say I am. I was good to you until you showed your true colors. Then, I told you to fuck off. Because literally, fuck you. You’re a textbook abuser, and I’m not playing these games with you. Not interested. Fuck off. I’m not nice to people who aren’t nice to me. I’ve never pretended otherwise. Lmao.
5. “Your gross” LMAO, YOU ARE SO DUMB. LIKE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUUUUUUUCK. FUCKING CHRIST. I’M WHEEZING. LIKE, I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING
😂 😂 😂 Who the fuck, messes up sending anon hate? The level of incompetence. I can’t. I can’t
😂 😂 😂 AND THEN ALL THE TYPOS. Bless you’re little heart. Thank you for this gem. Seriously. Thank you. Anytime I’m feeling down, I will have this to laugh at.
P.S. *You’re gross.
6. “Who do you think you are? Giving people advice when your terrible at being a caregiver” Lmao. First off, I was never your CG. We were just getting to know each other. I don’t even know your real name, ffs. I’ve only had two official littles, and I received no complaints from either. I’m an excellent caregiver. As a matter of fact, they still come to me when they want to regress, and I let them. Because I care for them, and I like being around them. I don’t like being around, arrogant, rude, abusive assholes who try to manipulate and make me feel like shit about myself WHEN I’D JUST MET THEM. Like, legit, get a life. No, get some help. You need help.
Why are you such a bitch? You don’t deserve to be a mommy, you are not good to littles” I’m a bitch because you’re a cunt. Fuck outta here. I’m good to people who are good to me. Be they littles, caregivers, coworkers, professors, store clerks, whatever! I am not good to assholes.
YOU do not get to treat me any kind of way and have me stick around. You don’t get to be abusive and then harass me and face no consequences. Next time you feel like sending one of your “exs” (it’s in quotes because we never even fucking dated) anon hate, I hope this memory stops you.
I hope you feel ashamed. I hope you’re embarrassed. Because you should be. Get your shit together. Leave people who aren’t interested in you alone. Get some therapy and work on your abusive tendencies. Or don’t and continue being an asshole. It makes no difference to me.; I’m never going to speak to you again, lmao.
Hi again, karamatsu. I'm sorry I keep coming to you. I keep having really scary dreams. I keep having dreams of abuse, and hospitals, my animals dying. I keep wanting to die, it's all a lot, karamatsu-niisan. I'm really tired, I cannot get peace even in my dreams. And aah, thank you for what you do here. It's so kind of you. -Ichimatsu 🐾
Hello again, beloved brother! Please, feel no need to apologise. Brief and perhaps somewhat indirect as it is, I still enjoy your company with every working cell in my heart. And no matter how hard my heart endeavours, it simply cannot comprehend the despondence of a future where that company is taken away, from me and the world.
It pains me that I cannot simply erase those awful nightmares with a single wave of the hand… Hmm. My explorations of the Internet have uncovered a potential aid, a list of simple tips to try out. Though I cannot fully vouch for their accuracy, I don’t think any of them would necessarily hurt to implement. Though, of course, ultimately it is your choice and yours alone.
With all that I am, I continue to hold everlasting hope that the peace you deserve will come to you, somehow. And since my arms cannot reach far enough to hug you, I hope the comfort I wish to project arrives with it.
Please talk to me about the graveyard scene? I remember thinking 'What the hell is Misha doing?' because he kept hovering behind the frame while Dean and Chuck talked. Then I realised it was Cas sending a neon sized distressed signal 'Deeeaan who cares about God? I wanna hug you. Hug me.' Can you please talk about what's going on inside Dean's head when he first smiles and than gets sad, roughly saying alright? Cas seeking/offering hug for the first time is also killing me.
Hi there, and I’m so sorry it’s taken so long to get back to everyone, but I really wanted a chance to rewatch the episode before I replied to some of these, and due to unforeseen failures on the part of the electric cables feeding my neighborhood, we’ve had two major blackouts this weekend, which makes tv viewing and internetting really difficult! :D
I think we need to start even earlier than this, when Dean’s first walking away from Mary’s grave to go talk to chuck, there’s like a half a second scene where Dean begins reaching out to Cas. He basically makes a beeline straight for Cas from Sam’s side, and the way that the shot is framed IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE HE’S WALKING STRAIGHT FOR CAS THROUGH A GENTLE RAIN OF CHERRY BLOSSOM PETALS. (x)
And then the little moment of surprise when Dean asks Chuck if he’s “cool with this,” and Chuck says “No, she’s still my sister, she’s my family.” And here’s where I wish I could gif stuff, the look on Dean’s face right after Chuck says “she’s my sister,” the camera shifts back to Dean while Chuck’s saying, “She’s my family.” I think that’s the moment Dean’s plan to find another way begins to solidify.
And then Cas just looms up behind Dean, like, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA BLOW UP IN A FEW MINUTES HERE SO CAN I HAVE A HUG NOW?
To be fair, Cas did give him most of that conversation, and only moseyed into the frame for the last little bit, but it’s pretty significant because it’s the first time Cas has EVER just walked up to Dean and demanded a hug from him. I think Dean was expecting words, but then Cas just gloms on to him and clings. This is not a stoic “farewell brother-in-arms” kind of hug. And at first, Dean looks pretty happy about it, but THAT GIF OF DEAN’S FACE OVER THE NEXT FEW SECONDS?! (I mean there’s tons of gifs of Dean’s face in the next few seconds, and it kills me dead. Also the gentle rocking side to side. And that gif that show Cas’s thumb stroking Dean’s back).
AND LOOK I FOUND THE POINT! AND WILL ATTEMPT TO ANSWER NOW! WHEEE!
Dean looks pretty happy/surprised that Cas would reach out to him this way. I mean remember Purgatory? Cas didn’t even hug him back, he just balled his hand into a fist to prevent himself from reaching back to Dean. But now? This time? Cas sought him out, and without a word other than “Dean,” grabbed Dean up almost the exact same way Dean had done to him in Purgatory, and of course Dean hugged back.
But Dean’s also in the position Cas was in Purgatory here, knowing he’s not going to make it out, and that knowledge comes back to him almost as fast as the surprise and happiness about getting the hug had hit him.
*why am i doing this to myself? THIS IS THE WORST! I mean some of Cas’s sad faces in this episode are enough to kill a viewer, but Dean’s face there just buries me.*
I’m saying compare and contrast this to the Purgatory hug. Just like Cas did in Purgatory, Dean then reaches out and claps his hand on Cas’s shoulder and tells him, “Thank you for everything.” And Cas knows what that phrase means. He used it on Dean once when he was planning on saving Dean and staying behind in Purgatory. Now their roles are reversed, but…
CAS DOESN’T KNOW THAT DEAN MADE IT OUT OF THIS EPISODE’S VERSION OF PURGATORY YET.
It was noon when Taylor finally stirred awake.
She woke up to banging headache, but with warmth engulfing her. She doesn’t
have to look back to know the owner of the lengthy arm draped over her. Who
else would be sleeping in her bed?
Taylor turned gently to face the younger girl
and winced at the light that managed to escape pass her blinds. She patted
behind her to reach for her phone to check her notifications.
She was greeted by a mass amount of texts and calls
from Tree, tens of thousands of notifications on Twitter, and more texts from
others. Of course she didn’t hear it nor answered because she was drunk out of
her mind. She was extremely nervous about opening the texts from Tree, but no
matter how hard she tries, she just can’t remember doing anything out of the
ordinary yesterday. She finally opens the chat between her and Tree and the
last text was a TMZ link. She always knew TMZ was the biggest bullshitter of
all media reports, but if Tree sent it, it must’ve been something big.
‘Taylor Swift - Totally Kissing Karlie Kloss
Taylor’s eyes and body immediately shot open/up
at the title of the article.
“BABE! WAKE UP! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!”
Taylor shook at the model.
“Baby, shhh, it’s – my head hurts.”
Karlie mumbled incoherently.
“Karls, now is not the time to be cute and
tired! Baby, Tree is going to kill us. Listen to me, we got caught kissing last
night.” Taylor said shakily.
Karlie finally woke and sat up at that,
“Holy shit, what? Did you look at the pictures to be sure?” Karlie
asked slightly calmer than Taylor, clearly the more levelheaded of the two.
Taylor shook her head with tears brimming at
Karlie kissed her right temple gently and took
the phone from Taylor’s hold, “I’ll look at it.”
“I shouldn’t have drank so much. I
shouldn’t have held onto you like that for so long. But we were having so much
fun and you looked so cute and the music just added to how much I wanted to hop
on you. I mean, Martha was supposed to keep us apart if we crossed the line.
Obviously, she sucks at it.” Taylor rambled.
Karlie looked through the pictures and watched
the video and smiled, “Babe, these are blurrier than one’s vision when on
“You’re lying! Oh, THANK GOD! Wait a
minute, how do you know what one’s vision is like when on acid?”
Karlie laughed at that, “This magical
little thing that is commonly known as the Internet.”
Taylor scoffed and shoved Karlie at her
That only made Karlie laugh more and wanted to
hold Taylor closer. Karlie did and proceeded to plant a sloppy kiss on Taylor’s
“Was that it?” Karlie asked once she
pulled away from Taylor.
“I haven’t read anything else that Tree
Karlie handed her back the phone and Taylor began
to read through Tree’s instructions.
“She said we need to do major damage
control. There are more posts on tumblr that are clearer.” Taylor frowned,
once again taken away from her calmer mind.
“You need to post a picture with Josh and
I need to post something on Twitter and just go like a bunch of things.”
Karlie groans at that, “God, I am so
fucking tired of this. I don’t even have recent pictures with Josh and are
people even saying negative things about us? I promise you, go on tumblr, and
your fans are probably sending you rainbow smiley faces, and go through the
Kaylor tag and see how many of them are dead.”
“No, Karlie! Go on Twitter and see how
many people said I can’t get guys anymore and turned to girls. See how many
people say I’m doing this for attention.” Taylor couldn’t help her
Karlie feels dejected at that and like a dirty
secret that’s just been accidentally exposed and was ashamed of. She wants to
selfishly exclaim their relationship to the world, but Taylor’s career is her
life so Karlie does come a close second and Taylor doesn’t deny it. Karlie
wants to be angry; she wants to walk out, but she can’t. She looks at the
sobbing face before her and quivering lips and just wants to hold her and tell
her she’ll do whatever it takes to protect her.
Karlie leans over to place her chin on top of
Taylor’s head and to wrap her arms securely around the slightly shorter girl,
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll post something saying I miss Josh. We’ll get
“Taylor, you’re going to have to stop
hanging around Karlie publicly for a while and maybe even catch lunch or
something with Matt or Harry.” Tree demanded.
“I don’t think Karlie will like that. I
don’t even like that.”
“It’ll just be a platonic date and no one
gets hurt. It’ll just appear to the public that there are still men in your
“But like, why is that necessary? I
already tweeted something and liked a bunch of things on Tumblr and Karlie even
posted a picture with Josh. It’ll die down.”
“But we can make it die down quicker. I
know you don’t want to, but you’re still friendly with both of them so there’s
no harm in this. As your publicist, I am just advising you to keep the image
you’ve been exuding.”
Taylor sighed. Being in the industry this long,
she knows the dark side to the glamour and glory. She knows what she has to do,
but ever since Karlie, every time she has to do something like this, it is a
jab to her heart. She hates seeing the hurt look on Karlie’s face whenever
Taylor continuously flirt with other guys to maintain her heterosexual image.
There are many models that are rather sexually fluid. Cara, for example, is
openly bi and no one ever says anything negative about it. If anything, they’re
100% supportive and think she’s even hotter due to the sexism of the world.
Karlie would probably also get no backlash whatsoever. On the other hand,
Taylor being such a public figure gets bigger and worse consequences.
Taylor was halfway through her entree with Matt
right now. She has not been listening to a single thing that he’s said.
Usually, even when they’re spewing a pile of rubbish, just for their accent
Taylor still actively listens, but this dinner didn’t feel right. Taylor knows
there was a reason for this dinner and she feels guilt from it.
It was finally dessert time when Matt started
to catch on that Taylor wasn’t really listening to him.
“Taylor,” he called. No response.
“Are you feeling ill, love?” He
“Oh no, I’m sorry. I’m well.” Taylor
said as she eyeballed her phone.
baby, when are you coming home tonight? - Karlie
Taylor inwardly groaned at that. She doesn’t
want to lie to Karlie.
having dinner. Be home in about an hour, love. - Taylor
Karlie takes a while longer to reply. Taylor
can just imagine her contemplating whether or not to ask her who she’s at
dinner with. Karlie doesn’t like to be intrusive and Taylor knows that. Plus,
Taylor always tells her whom she’s with anyway.
See you then… - Karlie
Taylor reads the text guiltily another time
before locking her phone and putting it away.
“So Matty, how many more shows do you have
left for your tour?”
“I like that picture with Matt on
instagram.” Karlie said tauntingly the moment the door closed behind
Taylor wants to be apologetic, but at the same
time she just wants Karlie to be indifferent to it.
“It’s damage control. You know that.”
“Because me posting a picture talking
about Josh and both of us liking a bunch of posts saying the media is full of
shit isn’t enough. Let’s not forget your friend tweet too.” Karlie was
“It was just dinner! Dinner between two
“Are you really feeding me this bullshit
too?” Karlie scoffed.
“I do every single fucking thing you ask
of me. All I ask for in return is you. You to love. You to love me. You to be
just mine.” Karlie wanted to cry. She can feel her eyes stinging up, but
her pride refuses to let them fall.
Taylor moved forward to cup Karlie’s face. She
brushed her thumbs gently under Karlie’s eyes, as she couldn’t keep them from
“I am yours,” Taylor gently kissed
the younger girl’s lips, “all yours.”
Karlie didn’t want gentle. She was tired of
being gentle and pushed over.
Karlie pushed Taylor down onto the sofa and got
on top of her. The model roughly kissed the singer before she could retaliate.
Taylor wasn’t use to rough Karlie. She only came once every blue moon, but
Taylor knew whenever rough Karlie comes about, she won’t be able to walk
properly tomorrow and she secretly loves it.
Taylor wanted to place her hands on Karlie’s
waist, but Karlie grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.
“Don’t move.” Karlie said in a deep
tone before moving back to attack Taylor’s lips. Karlie licked at Taylor’s
bottom lip before placing it between her teeth and tugged roughly at it.
Taylor gasped at that. As Karlie released her
lip, she made sure to grind her hips into Taylor and it doesn’t help that
Taylor’s wearing a skirt.
Taylor wasn’t even trying to hide her moans at
this point. If the foreplay was already this good, she knows that Karlie will
have to carry her to bed later.
Karlie went on to practically attack Taylor’s
neck. Her teeth first graze Taylor’s neck before actively sucking right above
her collarbone. Karlie repeats the action multiple times, leaving Taylor
gasping helplessly. Thank goodness she has an unlimited amount of turtlenecks.
Karlie tugged at Taylor’s arms to lift her
shirt off. She was glad because her arms were getting tired and she really
wanted to touch Karlie too. Taylor moved her arms down, wanting to entangle her
fingers in Karlie’s hair just to be pushed away.
Karlie took her hands and placed them to her side, “No
touching.” Karlie said sternly before taking her time to leave a trail of
hickeys from in between Taylor’s breasts to right above her naval. Taylor
gasped and moaned loudly at the stinging sensation. She tried to muffle them by
biting on her bottom lip, but to no avail.
Karlie’s finally getting to her lower half now when she tugs off her
skirt and underwear in one swift motion. Taylor can feel Karlie’s warm breath
on her heat as she places a hickey on each inner thigh.
“Fuck me,” Taylor whimpers.
Karlie smirks at that and decides actions are better than words. She
slowly eases her tongue into Taylor’s cunt and Taylor lets out a throaty moan.
Karlie doesn’t give her the time to catch her breath before she starts rubbing
her thumb at Taylor’s clitoris.
“Ah, baby.” Taylor says dreamily as she moved her hands to place
them in Karlie’s hair just for the taller girl to push them down again.
Taylor lets out an opposing grunt, but gasped when Karlie sucked on
“Oh my God, oh my God!” Taylor rambled huskily. It was music to
Karlie’s ears. She couldn’t hold back her own moan onto Taylor’s clit and
Taylor practically shudders at her quickly she came.
Taylor laid idly as Karlie climbed up her to face her.
“I love you.” She whispers as she placed her right hand onto the
Karlie placed her hand on Taylor’s resting hand on her cheek and
leaned in for a sweet kiss.
“I love you, too.”
The sweet moment was short-lived when Karlie inserted two of her
lengthy fingers into Taylor’s heat.
Taylor groaned inwardly. Tonight’s going to be a long night, but
she’s definitely not complaining.
A/N: As requested by sweeets-dispositions, jealous Karlie! Something in my brain just constitutes jealousy to smut so I’m sorry if you didn’t want smut. D:
Also, I know this was long overdue, but what the hey! With all this Kaylor going around, I needed to get some of this out! I hope I didn’t disappoint too much! Much love, happy reading, MWAH!
A Chat room AU where “Miraculous Ladybug” and “Chat Noir” were online handles for a language website. Adrien, a boy living in France, was looking for some extra help with his Chinese Language homework and Marinette, a girl living in China, wanted an opportunity to practice her father’s native tongue. They ended up becoming study partners and best friends through their chat exchanges. And then Marinette moves to Paris, and feelings come to a head.
The first time I thought there was probably something wrong with me, I was about 11 years old. Transitioning into middle school is always hard on someone, but my struggle to adjust seemed unnaturally strenuous. I was terrified… of everything, really, but since kids that age don’t have a lot going on, it usually centered on school. I’d fake sick to get out of it. Sometimes I didn’t need to fake sick – I got so upset in the mornings that I vomited. Once or twice I had full blown panic attacks – long before I even knew the term “panic attack” – in class, leaving to go cry and hyperventilate in the bathroom. I was already kind of shy and quiet and weird and behavior like this didn’t really improve the other kid’s opinions of me. I didn’t have friends and everyday I was excited to go back home and hang out in my room by myself. I spent a lot of time on the internet even then, and eventually I started talking to other people (yeah an 11 year old talking to strangers on the internet, eeeeep) who suffered from things similar to what I did. Some of them talked to their parents about it, and their parents had taken them to see a doctor (or more accurately, a therapist) and they’d gotten help. I tried to do the same. My parents told me I was overreacting. They told me I was just shy. They told me I needed to just be healthier and sleep more, probably, and it would go away. It didn’t. I was in the guidance office at school a lot. They didn’t take me seriously, either. I wanted to feel normal and none of the adults in my life seemed to honestly hear my cries. I was scoffed at.
This continued a lot throughout my life. A few years later, at 15, I once again failed to deal with life changes and day-to-day struggles that most people can overtake with a breeze, and at this time, the thing it was affecting the most was my sleep. That is, I wasn’t getting any. I went to a doctor, told her I was too stressed, too nervous, my brain was too full of things, my mind was too hectic, and I was not able to sleep. Her response, I will never forget this, this medical professional who was supposed to want to help me laughed at me and said “You’re 15, what do you have to be nervous over?”
Things only got worse over time. I faced other obstacles, such as being outed for my sexuality by another student at my school (something I was trying to keep a secret at the time), and entering an emotionally abusive relationship with an older boy. Hearing my heart in my ears, feeling my limbs go numb, and experiencing an out-of-body-like terror was something that still happened to me fairly often, and I finally learned that these were called panic attacks. I started cutting myself to cope with the sheer terror and hopelessness, and sometimes as a means of expressing my anger – I needed to break something, I decided to break myself. I have ugly, purple scars. The boy I was seeing began sexually abusing me. When I left him and told people about what he did, no one believed me. I started having suicidal thoughts. I spent the better part of a year wishing I were dead, seeing how long I could stay under my bath water without breathing. I felt like I was a broken, unloved human being, and why the fuck was I even here anymore?
I was 20 years old before I finally sought help, and even then, only because there were finally people close to me who loved me and encouraged me to do so. I believe that I spent half my life wanting help, unable to get it until someone else heard me. I spent all of those years, privately knowing that something was unwell in my mind, but publicly denying it and doing my best to convince everyone that I was perfectly functioning. I have only recently started to feel like my mental illness isn’t something to be ashamed of, isn’t something to keep hushed, something impolite or uncomfortable to discuss. I have not been given a formal diagnosis yet, but my therapist speculates that I may have some form of OCD, and that I certainly have an anxiety disorder. I have taken to blogging as a platform now to help remind myself and others like me that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and to please, please before it’s too late, please get help. I don’t know if I’d still be here if I hadn’t.
Hannah, age 20
Hi everyone! I have revived from the grave. Well for the most part. I know there have been a few people wondering what happened, why I left, and if I’d come back. And after lots of neglecting it, I’m gonna make a nice neat little post with all of the above.
Putting this whole thing in a read more because I know I ramble! (but if you want the short version, the title pretty much says it all)