i need to be in london

50 Things I’m Convinced Tay & Joe Do - Baby Edition 

1. Taylor smirking at Joe who claims that the air in the doctor’s room is dry which is the reason why his eyes are watering right after they found out that they’re having a girl.
2. Joe’s protective hand constantly reaching for her belly at night whenever she’s changing her sleeping position.
3. Joe opening his Christmas gift from her that was casually placed under the Christmas tree and him becoming incredibly emotional in front of both of their families because inside the little box, there is a positive pregnancy test.
4. Taylor and Joe only telling their families and closest friends about her pregnancy at first because Taylor’s too scared to miscarry.
5. Joe replacing all Nespresso capsules in their houses with decaf capsules because he knows how hard it is for her to waive proper coffee.
6. Taylor developing a weird disgust towards roasted meat yet always attends dinner at Joe’s family and eats the Sunday roast even if most of it lands in the toilet just minutes after they get home.
7. Joe always telling Tay that his mum won’t be mad if she’d tell her about her meat related nausea but Taylor still swallows the food anyway.
8. Joe being overprotective, especially on these days when she’s not feeling well and he’s gone for work. So as soon as she doesn’t pick up her phone for a couple of minutes, he’d immediately call Andrea who then has to calm him down with a soft laugh and a gentle “both of your girls are alright, honey. She’s watching TV with me and her phone’s in the kitchen, so don’t worry.” while Taylor would roll her eyes at his protective behavior but deep down knows how incredibly thankful she is for it.
9. Scott always teasing Joe with referring to him as “Daddy over there wants some more potatoes, Andrea” or greeting Joe with “Hi Daddy, how’s it going?” whenever they see each other.
10. Taylor trying to convince him that their daughter needs to have an old classic and British name such as “Hazel” or “Eleanor” and Joe reminding her that she’s giving birth to a baby, not an old lady.
11. Taylor feeling incredibly maternal at the end of the second trimester and most of the time falling asleep with a pull string musical crib toy on her belly that plays one of her songs (a gift from her fans, of course).
12. Joe spending at least half an hour cuddled up to her belly and talking to the baby after not having seen Taylor for a couple of days, always kissing the round belly and telling her how sad he is sometimes because Taylor gets to carry the baby around and feel her all day, but he can’t.
13. Taylor and Joe constantly fighting about her wanting to wear heels tonight, and him getting angry because she could trip and fall.
14. Taylor being mad at him for an entire day because she thinks that he thinks that she’s too stupid to walk on high heels for the length of one evening.
15. Joe figuring out that the only way to deal with her current hormones is to always give in and let her know how sorry he is and how right she was.
16. Joe constantly finding her asleep at the weirdest places in the house. Once on a stool with head on the kitchen isle, once on the floor in her walk- in closet.
17. Taylor feeling like a teenager again because she finds herself crying so often whenever he’s gone filming for a couple of days and she misses him badly.
18. Taylor being mocked by everyone in her family because she developed the habit to “free the bump” whenever she’s sitting on the patio and a ray of sunshine is crossing the sky. “The baby needs Vitamine D, guys. Shut up.” she’d say, enjoying the warmth on her belly.
19. Joe volunteering in applying cream on her belly to prevent stretch marks every night.
20. Taylor having an increased need for sex in the first months and Joe teasing her with it as much as he can, smirking and mumbling a casual “got it out of your system, love? If yes could you please move a bit so I can watch the rest of this movie? Thank you.” after she just came down from the fifth orgasm that day, sitting on his lap and distracting him from watching a movie on the couch in the living room.
21. “So rude.” she’d mumble and receive a mischievous laugh from him before cuddling up in his arms again.
22. Joe’s standard joke being “I mean, I was in the room when the baby was conceived to I might as well be in the room when the baby’s delivered” whenever he’s asked wether he’ll be in the delivery room or not and Taylor rolling her eyes every single time, “He thinks he’s so funny, it’s incredible.”
23. Joe having the shock of his life when Taylor fainted a couple of times during the first weeks of pregnancy because of low blood pressure, which is absolutely normal yet scared the shit out of him.
24. Joe literally calling her every two hours to remind her to drink water and eat something when she’s at a meeting because he knows that she forgets.
25. Joe literally going nuts after some online magazine releases an article calling Taylor “huge and lazy” because she apparently doesn’t work out enough during pregnancy which results in him wanting to sue the media outlet but Taylor calming him down because she doesn’t give a fuck about this kind of stuff anymore.
26. Taylor feeling her baby kick for the first time when they’re at dinner with her parents and Joe really trying not to be too emotional and become a cry- baby but keeping his hand on her belly for what feels like the entire evening.
27. Taylor craving nachos with whip cream on top.
28. Taylor sitting on the examination couch while waiting for her doctor, trying her best to bat Joe’s hands away from the model of a fetus in a womb: “Stop touching it. You’ll break it!” When the small plastic baby pops out of the fake uterus and onto the floor, Joe’s eyes grow wide and she just rolls her eyes while watching him hysterically trying to put the model back together again before the doctor enters the room.
29. Joe thanking her for carrying his baby and giving him his own little family whenever they both lay awake at night, but the pleasure is all hers.
30. Taylor hiding her big bump and boobs under oversized sweaters because she’s insecure about her physical changes.
31. Joe being well aware of her insecurities which makes him comment things like “you’re so stunning, baby. Is that shirt new?” or “you look gorgeous this morning, how’d you sleep?”.
32. Joe noticing how motherly Taylor has become because of all the hormones in her body. So every time Patrick is joining them on a winter walk she’d remind the boy to fix his scarf because „it’s colder than you think“ and every time Patrick has a cold she’d cook him a chicken soup, even If he didn’t ask for it which is why Joe and him can’t help but tease her constantly by calling her ‚mummy‘.
33. Taylor being embarrassed as hell for an entire week because her morning sickness was really bad while she and Joe were stuck in traffic and she had to throw up in a plastic bag after mumbling “I don’t want it to happen, I don’t want it to happen” while sitting next to him which resulted in her having vomit in her hair while crying and him calming her with a hand on her leg: “s’ fine, baby. C'mon. Just glad you feel better now.”
34. Joe’s mum bursting out to tears as she opens her birthday present and finds an ultrasound scan, which automatically makes Tay emotional as well while hugging his mum for more than five minutes straight.
35. Taylor often having trouble sleeping because she either struggles with immense nausea or her baby being super active.
36. Joe not hesitating to rub her naked tummy for almost an hour when she’s feeling super sick and can’t fall asleep while whispering in her ear how much he loves her and how happy he is with her in his life.
37. Joe waking up one night with tears in his eyes because in his dreams he was holding his baby in his arms and he could see what she looks like and smell her and hear her laugh and everything felt so real, which was the most amazing feeling he has ever felt.
38. Joe noticing how Taylor craves his closeness even more since she’s pregnant which is why he pulls her into a long hug as often as he can or kisses her forehead more often.
39. Taylor showing literally everyone she knows her new “trick” that is placing objects on her huge belly like a tray.
40. Joe counting all ten toes and all ten fingers on the baby, first thing: “just want to make sure you’ll be able to write some songs. Or make action movies..“ he’d mumble towards the baby, making Taylor laugh from afar.
41. Baby Alwyn- Swift having all of Taylor’s features, blonde curls included, but Joe’s lips and his rather introvert personality.
42. Joe holding the baby in front of Taylor’s tummy and mumbling a sleepy “we’ll have to put you back in there again if you don’t sleep, love. m’ warning you. The nights were a lot quieter with you in there.” which makes Taylor laugh and the baby stare at him confused before receiving a laugh and a small kiss from her dad.
43. Taylor announcing the birth of her baby on Instagram with posting a black and white photo of Joe kissing tiny baby feet and the caption “Never felt so blessed in my life. Thanks for all the congratulations and kind messages.”
44. Joe pretending to eat the baby’s foot or hand which always makes the little one laugh and Taylor as well.
45. Taylor posting a boomerang on Instagram for fathers day that shows Joe blowing raspberries on the baby’s stomach with a smile on his face and captioning it with “you have changed my heart forever. Happy Father’s Day.”
46. Joe already spoiling his little girl when she’s just a little toddler and Taylor really not liking it: “He can’t say no. Never. Now she’s just a baby but if he keeps that up our child will be a spoilt rat in a few years” she’d complain to her mom.
47. Joe surprising Taylor with a vacation to the Bahamas because the baby hasn’t been sleeping at all in weeks and they both wander around like ghosts all day long which is why they both urgently need some relaxation away from London and Nashville.
48. Joe realizing that his baby daughter has a miniature version of his lips which is why he always holds her tiny face right next to his for comparison when they’re with friends and family.
49. Joe giving the newborn on his arm a tour around their house when both of their parents came over for a first visit at home. He’d stop with her on his arms in the bedroom and mumble “..and this is where you were made, my love” which results in her family’s laughter and an embarrassed Taylor yelling “oh my god, Joseph. You are unbelievable.”
50. Joe teaching his little girl how to give kisses and always claps his hands to cheer on her whenever her lips made the right move to meet his. After some time, the baby girl loves to give her daddy wet kisses and afterwards automatically claps her little hands as well which makes Joe and Taylor burst out in laughter every time.

Letters from the Ripper October  1888

My beautiful Hellen,

You’d be very proud of me for the establishments I concurred through the likes of such “interesting characters”. Especially that with a head bitch of the establishments of London’s brothels named Lady O. Despite my taste and views of theses wheres, what kept me from slaying her was the fact that she didn’t live to be beyond forty years just by standing, no, laying pretty getting fucked for a mere shilling. But now thinking back my dove flower, I realized that that was the life my mother took in order to keep her child alive. So I’m using Lady O to take East London’s prostate control to a minimum, and once the brotherhood is established in more of the ideals I…no we…beleived need to be done, then I will eliminate ever last one of vermin like her later. Keep your enemy close as a friend then lead her to the saluter. But I may allow Ms. Frye the pleasure of that. Yes, my sources say that there was a possibility that Jacob sent a letter to his sister in India.

I will express my dear Hellen, that Arthur Weaversbrook, the damn newspaper writer is still publishing the letters that I always sent to the police, and the messages originally to Jacob. Perhaps the damn fool didn’t care enough for his son to meet my demands. Unlike those I keep in my navel hiding place where they’re “Encouraged” to write to their families, “requesting” certain items for the Ripper. HA! You’d be thrilled to see how much I’d gotten more balls over theses months since…

Did I ever told you of my next step of the plan my beautiful Hellen. To lure Jacob out of the shadows, and show him of all the pain my mother went through. What I went through. And in the secret depths of my heart, what pain he will feel never knowing that a piece of me was taken from me. I want him to show that he should of beloved everything that was in front of him. Even when your father sensed it long ago

I know Jacob will put up a fight, but I will fight back even harder. Like you did with that native scout you told me about once. But I will fight for you my beloved Hellen. I miss your warm presence as well. London is more bitter in the weather without your fire upon me.

Yours now and always

Jack

oh my god, oh my god, my ex did it, he finally did it, he finally got himself a bullshit liquor career

this dude’s trajectory went something like this, ok:

  • living in abject terror he’d never get “real” work and would be doing retail forever (this while attending an ~elite university, his parents have “build your own huge house in santa barbara” money)
  • crying into my arms about this fear
  • lights candles, writes “MIDDLE CLASS” across own chest in sharpie, takes long bath
  • refusing to let me help him with things like “write a resume”
  • …suddenly deciding he was going to “save Africa” via agriculture policy
  • letting his next girlfriend basically write his BA thesis on this subject for him (shades of how i used to let myself get conned into doing his spanish homework for him)
  • …languishing
  • …failing to hold down a service job and living on money his grandmother left him
  • doing an MA at SOAS (??)
  • deciding that what London needs is one more whiskey distillery
  • trying to bilk our mutual friends out of free labor (graphic design, etc)
  • [interim activity unknown]
  • starts a company in southern california that literally converts trash into vodka.

unbelievable

3

Trini definitely sucker punch him for that later

It’s crazy to me that after all Taylor has been through, all the anxiety she expressed feeling before and during writing Reputation because of forces and judgements out of her control, she still has it in her heart to trust us one hundred per cent? She called the Secret Sessions a sacred space, and now I totally understand. There was a bond in that room that didn’t even need to be spoken. She’s so right though, you can’t know if you can trust someone…..until you trust them. So unless we break this trust, it’s here to stay. We should feel bloody proud of what we’ve got going, here. It’s one of a kind, for sure.

buzzfeed.com
Here's How Breitbart And Milo Smuggled Nazi and White Nationalist Ideas Into The Mainstream
A cache of documents obtained by BuzzFeed News reveals the truth about Steve Bannon’s alt-right “killing machine.”
By Joseph Bernstein

On the 27th, now co-bylined, the story was ready for upper management: Bannon and Larry Solov, Breitbart’s press-shy CEO. It was also ready, on a separate email chain, for another read and round of comments from the white nationalist Saucier, the feudalist Yarvin, the neo-Nazi Weev, and Vox Day.

“I need to go thru this tomorrow in depth…although I do appreciate any piece that mentions evola,” Bannon wrote. On the 29th, in an email titled “steve wants you to read this,” Marlow sent Yiannopoulos a list of edits and notes Bannon had solicited from James Pinkerton, a former Reagan and George H.W. Bush staffer and a contributing editor of the American Conservative. The 59-year-old Pinkerton was put off by a cartoon of Pepe the Frog conducting the Trump Train.

“I love art,” he wrote inline. “I think [Breitbart News Network] needs a lot more of it, but I don’t get the above. Frogs? Kermit? Am I missing something here?”

Later that day, Breitbart published “An Establishment Conservative’s Guide to the Alt-Right.” It quickly became a touchstone, cited in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the New Yorker, CNN, and New York Magazine, among others. And its influence is still being felt. This past July, in a speech in Warsaw that was celebrated by the alt-right, President Trump echoed a line from the story — a story written by a “brown-sounding” amanuensis, all but line-edited by a white nationalist, laundered for racism by Breitbart’s editors, and supervised by the man who would in short order become the president’s chief strategist.

The machine had worked well.

It hadn’t always been so easy.

The previous November, Yiannopoulos emailed Bannon with a bone to pick. Breitbart London reported that a London college student behind a popular social justice hashtag had threatened the anti-Islam activist Pamela Geller.

“The story is horseshit and we should never have published it,” Yiannopoulos wrote. “Reckless and stupid. … Strongly recommend we pull. it’s insanely defamatory. I spoke to pamela geller and even she said it was rubbish. We’re outright lying about this girl and surely we’re better than that. We can and should win by telling the truth.”

Six minutes later, Bannon wrote back to his tech editor in a fury. “Your [sic] full of shit. When I need your advice on anything I will ask. … The tech site is a total clusterfuck—meaningless stories written by juveniles. You don’t have a clue how to build a company or what real content is. And you don’t have long to figure it out or your [sic] gone. … You are magenalia [sic].”

(Geller clarified to BuzzFeed News in a statement that she believed it was “rubbish” that the London university characterized the threats against her as “fake.”)

On December 8, the New York Times published a major story about the radicalization of American Muslims on Facebook. Yiannopoulos published a story called “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy.”

That afternoon, Bannon emailed Yiannopoulos and Marlow.

“Dude—we r in a global existentialist war where our enemy EXISTS in social media and u r jerking yourself off w/ marginalia!!!! U should be OWNING this conversation because u r everything they hate!!! Drop your toys, pick up your tools and go help save western civilization.”

“Message received,” Yiannopoulos wrote back. “I will do a Week of Islam next week.”

“U don’t need that,” Bannon responded. “Just get in the fight—ur Social Media and they have made it a powerful weapon of war. … There is no war correspondent in the west yet dude and u can own it and be remember for 3 generations–or sit around wasting your God-given talents jerking off to your fan base.”

Over the next several months, Yiannopoulos began to find the right targets. First it was a continued attack on Shaun King, the writer and Black Lives Matter activist whose ethnicity Yiannopoulos had called into question. Next it was then–Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who Bannon called in an email to Yiannopoulos the “poster child for the narcissistic ecosystem.”

And increasingly it was enemies of Donald Trump. In response to a Yiannopoulos pitch accusing a prominent Republican opponent of Trump of being a pill-popper, Bannon wrote: “Dude!!! LMAO! … Epic.” And Bannon signed off on an April story by Yiannopoulos imploring #NeverTrumpers to get on board with “Trump and the alt-right.” (Bannon did, however, veto making it the lead story on the site, writing to Yiannopoulos and Marlow, “Looks like we have our thumb on the scale.”)

this story is a bit gossipy but it’s nice to know just how tight all these figures are (and how many are from the supposedly “liberal” media)

10

“It was amazing. It’s funny because Willam, Alaska and I were doing a gig in London maybe two years ago, and a friend of mine was like, ‘my friend Aaron is Little Mix’s hair person and they love you guys and they were wondering if they could come to a show’. They came along and hung out in our dressing room – it was so funny, Little Mix hanging out in OUR dressing room. Jade is the superfan, she wears our merch. Some promo she did, she was wearing a Courtney Act tank top, it’s so fabulous. They messaged us and asked us if we wanted to be in their music video. They were so lovely, and their mums were there, and Jade’s mum came and hung out in our dressing area. We just sat there having a kiki. She came around at Drag Con and queued up, it’s adorable. We were like, 'it’s ok, nobody will mind if Jade skips the queue’.” - Courtney Act