i need this for my roommate

intro post~*

ok it’s been a little while since i made an intro post and i’ve gotten some new followers recently so here you go!! 

PSA

I really felt the need to tell you guys what’s going on. It’s nothing too serious, so please don’t freak out. I don’t want to scare you. 

Yesterday I passed out. I don’t remember the exact time but I know it was around six. And I didn’t wake up until midnight. I don’t know if you’ve ever passed out, but it’s not scary from your end. It’s just like sleep. But my roommate told me she tried to wake me up and I just wouldn’t. I’m fine now, my brain is still a little fuzzy (which sucks because I have more projects and homework to do) but I’m fine. 

I’m not sure why I passed out, I promise I ate and I drank some water, but I did end up missing dinner, but that’s fine, really. It was probably just stress or whatever, and my body just crashed. 

I’m telling you this because my fanfics are going to start coming out slower until I feel better. It’s not going to be like every two days, or three days, like it used to be. I’ve put a pause on planning my ACOTAR universe book and I apologize for that. 

But I am not a machine. I am not calling anyone out. Everyone has been so kind as to not treat me like a fanfic making machine. But I think I treated myself like that. I want to please you guys so much and I have so many ideas, but my mind and body just weren’t working with me. 

I will still be writing fanfics, and you can still request them too, but just know they won’t be published right away. I’m sorry for anyone that was looking forward to anything and I really wanted to put some things out there, but I really just can’t at the moment. 

Thank you for understanding. 

anonymous asked:

I'm definitely an asexual, pretty sure I'm aromantic (but wouldn't be opposed to testing with the right person) and I think I may be agendas too but I don't know where I fit comfortably on the gender spectrum. Just needed to get that off my chest. Another thing I've been thinking about is coming out to my new potentially new roommate who has had romantic feelings for me in the past. I trust him but I'm not very good at coming out to people. It gives me quite bad anxiety. Any advice?

Coming out is always a challenge. Coming out to a roommate is even more complicated, especially one that’s had an interest in you.

In my few years of experience living with seven different roommates, I’d say that coming out is very specific on what type of person they are. I was freely ace amongst my bi roommate, but I wouldn’t breath a peep to my current white male 30-something year-old roommates today. And when I housed a homeless friend, it was even more complicated because we were intimate before I took her in.

Living together also means that it’s gonna be harder to stay in the closet. Whether it be pride regalia posted on your bedroom wall, or them wandering into a conversation between trusted friends, it might not be a secret you can keep indefinitely. It can be hard to predict how someone reacts under a number of situations.

- Fae

My birthday present to myself this year was going to see Lego Batman, which was an EXCELLENT choice, A+ would recommend if you have even the faintest interest. Not quite as good as the first one, I think, but it was still hilarious and had some really spectacular moments. Then I went to a tour at the art museum, then remembered the can of inarizushi skins my roommate inexplicably left behind that I’ve been meaning to do something with, so I’ll be making some of that tomorrow. All in all I’d say it was a good birthday, except for the moments where I remembered how much stuff I need to get done in the next three weeks or politics in general.

Transwoman going homeless on April 1st. (Massachusetts)

Hi. I’m a 22yr old transwoman looking for a long term roommate/housemate as I received news from my housemates that they’d like me to leave on April 1st recently.

I’m looking to move into an apartment with someone there so we can split up the rent. I can currently at max pay $500 a month for rent. I can of course help pay for supplies we need for the household and food.

I’m in Massachusetts and I am currently am unemployed and have no income, however I am actively working on getting a job and I can pay first, last, and security if I am to move in. I do not have a car, but I do have a bike that I use to get around.
For some brief information about me, i’m a quiet, nerdy person who likes to play video games and draw digital art. I am introverted, but I enjoy conversation from time to time.

Thank you for your time and for reading this. If you’re interested, please leave a comment or send me a private message.

Hamilton characters as things my friends and roommates have said at college
  • Washington: Every time you don't keep your side of the room clean, god kills a puppy.
  • Angelica: Honey, if that boy talks to you again and you don't like what he's saying, send him to me and I'll kick him so hard in the ass, he'll need my foot surgically removed from his mouth.
  • Maria: I look like a hooker in this dress, but not a cheap one. Like, a really expensive one. For the guys who wear nice cologne and suits.
  • Laurens: I don't know if I'm gay. Or straight. Or bi. I don't know what I am. I just know I have to pee now cause I'm so stressed about this.
  • Hamilton: I want to have a party just about me. Like, no music, no dancing, nothing. Just an empty room and me with a mic, so that everyone will come and have to hear me talk.
  • Eliza: I feel so guilty, I ate sugar before lunch. My mum always says it's unhealthy to eat sugar before noon. What have I done? I'm a horrible rebel. I need to go call her and apologise.
  • Peggy: DUDE IM NOT A GARBAGE CAN STOP THROWING YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE AT ME AM I THAT UNNOTICEABLE JESUS I HATE YOU ALL
  • Jefferson: Everyone here is so goddamn stupid.
  • Burr: Either I'll kill myself or my dorm-mate before summer break. I don't know which yet.
AUs no one asked for
  •  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU
  • I am a barista and you are a customer who comes in every day and orders the same thing and today my friend brought you with them, I didn’t even know we had mutual friends and WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY YOUR NAME HAVE I REALLY BEEN WRITING A NAME THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO YOURS ON YOUR CUPS FOR OVER HALF A YEAR WHY HAVE YOU NEVER CORRECTED ME AU
  • The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU
  • (or alternatively) I just woke up in a stranger’s bed and I’m half naked, I cant remember anything about yesterday besides that the party was great and that I got absolutely wasted AND OH MY GOD THERE IS A HOT PERSON NEXT TO ME IN BED AND THEY ARE NOT WEARING MUCH WHAT DID WE DO YESTERDAY AU
  • You are my new coworker and I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you SO WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO FAMILIAR FUCK I THINK YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE ANGSTY EMO KIDS I USED TO STALK BACK IN THE MYSPACE DAYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS AU
  • We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU
  • I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU
the signs as women i have known
  • aries: would come to the store i worked at and talk to me about everything under the sun because we were both bored.
  • taurus: has a raspy little voice and loves to tell everyone how wrong they are. eats food more as a hobby and less of a need.
  • gemini: tunnel vision. can talk to you about the complicated physics of time but can't remember the names of most of her coworkers.
  • cancer: talked to my roommate on our porch in the freezing cold about how having his identity stolen was not going to ruin his life and what she can do to help him. the most nurturing person i've ever met.
  • leo: travel buddy. the kind of person you ask a question and she's already googled it for you. calculated and spontaneous at the same time.
  • virgo: diplomatic af. personable and kind. mothered me back to health when i blacked out at a party and ordered all of the ubers.
  • libra: we once bought an entire bottle of vodka, two loaves of bread, and an entire wheel of brie. we went to lush and asked them for all the samples they could reasonably give us.
  • scorpio: witch woman. sold rock grids on etsy for a while. went vegan and was the person who convinced me to switch to using a menstrual cup. owns a bong bigger than her entire torso.
  • sagittarius: told people she had ebola when she was involved with a trial vaccine for the disease just to see the look on peoples' faces.
  • capricorn: can remember every place i've ever asked her for a ride to and how to get there without having to ask for directions.
  • aquarius: had a business degree but could not figure out that the candy store we worked at wasn't doing well because we were surrounded by 7 other candy stores.
  • pisces: self destructive drinker. we both dated the same guy and tried to hate each other but couldn't. we run into each other once every six months or so and have conversations that last hours. we once held a funeral for a dragonfly while we were beyond fucked up.
RFA Reaction to cuddling at MCs place while Family/Roommates are there

So basically this is my HC for the RFA I need to start doing Minor Trio with Baeran dammit me going to MCs place for the first time and trying to cuddle/other but the catch is MC lives with family/roomies.

Some are just fluffy. Some get smutty. *cough* Zen and Jumin *cough*

Yoosung

  • Your room?? Alone?? I-Is that okay??
  • “Yoosung, we’ve hung at before…”
  • “Yeah at my place where it was just us…Is…Is your family ok with this?”
  • “Yoosung I’m a legal adult. I have been. We both are.”
  • “O-Okay.”
  • You’re sitting in your bed cuddling, playing video games. You get a little handsy. A slight blush rises in his cheeks and he pretends not to notice as he keeps playing his level.
  • But your hand rests at the hem of his shirt, and sloooowwwlllly lifts it up, letting your fingers softly trace up and down his sides
  • Blush intensifies “MC..?? You feelin cuddly?”
  • “Maaaybe” You nuzzle into the crook of his arm as he puts it around you.
  • You are not satisfied. More snuggles. More.
  • You throw one leg over him, latching onto him like a Koala.
  • It was pretty innocent, but Yoosung imagining your parents or sibling walking in and seeing you tangled up just made him so flustered. ‘If I keep playing my game, even if someone sees us they’ll no nothing was happen-’
  • You crane your neck and plant a soft kiss on his 
  • YOOSUNG NO WORK NOPE NADA IT’S OVER
  • This boy can’t keep a poker face. You know you’ve got him. You casually take his DS out of his hands, save the progress, and close it.
  • Yoosung is just wide eyed staring at the ceiling, lips pursed and shaking juuuust a little bit. His hand still in the position as if he was still holding his DS up. He is too shook
  • So you make the move, throw your arm over his chest and start kissing his neck again.
  • “MC are you sure?”
  • “We’re not gonna go crazy…I mean. Probably not.” And you start leaving a couple soon-to-be hickeys on him.
  • ‘Oh what the hell’ Yoosung gives up. He likes you too much.
  • He takes your hand in his and interlaces your fingers with his
  • Turns his head to yours
  • So many kisses. He starts pressing his lips to yours, it’s deep but still soft.
  • You guys just keep it up for a while. Snuggles, kisses, the occasional grope.
  • It gets late into the night and Yoosung figures he should get going.
  • You walk him to the door and he gives you a kiss goodnight.
  • You promise to hang out at his place next time so he’s not as nervous.

Jaehee

  • She thinks your roommates are lovely. They like her too, think she’s kind of stoic, but like her none the less.
  • You two go up to your room. She sits on your bed, no second thoughts about your roommates or anything. Why would they come in? And even then Jaehee’s sure you’re not ballsy enough to try anything crazy with people in the house
  • You guys arent quiet enough for that
  • You sit next to her and put on one of Zen’s shows. You start off side by side but soon end up spooning.
  • You guys have watched these movies so many times you know all the lines, so whenever Zen goes to deliver a really sexy line, you beat him to it and whisper it in Jaehee’s ear.
  • She giggles and it’s so fkn cute. Ugh.
  • You get a little restless at one point. You run your hand down her side, admiring her curves.
  • And sloooowly back up. Your fingers brush exposed skin and her spine straightens a bit.
  • “MC…” She chuckles
  • You two start kissing. It’s sweet and slow. You don’t go very far, because you’re both just feeling more cuddly than lusty. Lusty isn’t a word but shut up
  • Eventually the movie is over. You walk her out to her car. You go to give her a quick peck goodnight, but she cups your face and holds it there for a good minute. You melt a little and put your hands over hers. She’s too cute.
  • You watch as her car pulls out of the driveway. A small smile on your lips.
  • Your roomate opens the front door “Hey, you gonna stand here and think about that steamy ass kiss or come inside already?”

Zen

  • He knocks at the door and your roommate opens it.
  • “Holy shit MC your hot ass celebrity boyfriend is here” They yell up the stairs (it’s me. I’m one of your obnoxious roommates.)
  • You come down the stairs “Babe! Hey! Sorry I didn’t get the door I-”
  • “No worries, Angel” And he planted a quick peck on your lips. You heard your roommates snicker as they set the table for food.
  • After you all ate, you and Zen slipped into your room. You expected immediate cuddles and kisses but
  • He just sat at your desk and looked around
  • “Uh, Babe, you can come sit on the bed” You patted the spot next to you
  • But Mc…… T H E B E A S T
  • It could appear at any moment.
  • I’ll take my chances just get over here you egg.
  • So he joins you on the bed. Slowly he sinks into the spot next to you, as if a quick movement might rattle the cage of THE BEAST
  • You turn on your music and start chatting. Eventually ending with Zen’s head in your lap as you play with his hair and he stares at your face with endearment cause he’s just so in love with how focused you look as you braid his hair and chat.
  • So endeared he doesn’t hear you muttering about cutting off the rat tail
  • Soon the braid is done and there’s nothing to occupy your hands while you guys talk.
  • They start off at Zen’s face. Tracing his cheekbones and jawline.
  • “MC…what are you doing?” He chuckles
  • “Just touching you”
  • MC Phrasing please
  • Then your hands trace the tendons in his neck to the well toned muscles on his shoulders. His shirt color tries to get in the way but you just snake your hands underneath.
  • His eyebrow twitches
  • MC please he is using all of his self control right now.
  • You lean over, giving your arms more reach farther into his shirt, your fingertips brush the beginning of your lovers V line. Haha V line. V. Hah you can only think about V whenever you see Zen’s V line now
  • Your intention was to get your face inches from Zen, not touch his hips. That was just added bonus
  • His breath gets a little heavy and husky, brushing your lips which are only about an inch away.
  • You very slowly, and I mean very slowly, lean in to close the gap. Your eyes half lidded while Zen’s are wide af.
  • The second your lips touch Zen jumps up. Well he tries. WIth your hands in his shirt and face above his you both get a little tangled for a second but his feet find the floor and he turns so he’s facing away from you.
  • “Hyun? You ok?”
  • “ I just…. Ugh. If we kiss like that again I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself, Princ-”
  • “So don’t.”
  • He turns his head, a look of shock in his eyes. “What?”
  • “So. Don’t.” You grin. “Don’t help yourself”
  • “But your roommates are-”
  • You turn your radio volume even higher, a smug look on your face.
  • His voice dropped so low you thought it was a new person. “Are you sure you want to?”
  • You got up and pulled him close, pressing your bodies together. “Positive”
  • HOOOOOO BOY
  • I WONDER IF THE MUSIC COVERED THE SOUND OF HIM SLAMMING YOU DOWN ON THAT BED
  • Music: High
  • Kisses: Heavy
  • Beast: Unleashed.
  • You guys weren’t used to having to be quiet. Zen wasn’t sure how to feel about you not screaming his name. But it was a fun little challenge for the both of you. It made things interesting, added the element of getting caught.
  • Eventually you guys were left panting and just laying side by side.
  • He glanced at the clock.
  • “Oh shit My Love, I’m sorry to eat and run but it’s getting late and I have morning rehearsal.” He hopped out of bed and started pulling his clothes on.
  • “I understand Babe” You threw a shirt and sweatpants on and walked him downstairs, where your roommates were still awake watching a movie.
  • Zen cast a nervous glance towards them, but covered it as soon as they looked in your direction.
  • “It was nice meeting you!” He waved to them.
  • “You too!” They both chimed and waved back.
  • Zen turned to you, gave you a kiss goodnight, and walked out to his car.
  • You shut the front door, and as soon as you did
  • “Wow. Your bed is really squeaky huh?
  • “Wha-” A blush spray paints your cheeks bright red
  • “Celebrity sex scandaaaaaal” The other one sings.
  • “We didn’t-” You tried.
  • “MC….your shirts backwards” They winked.
  • You looked down and sure as shit you were looking at the back of your shirt. Welp. RIP.


Jumin

  • You were a little nervous for Jumin to come over and meet your roommates.
  • More often than not they were those ruthless Jokester friends. They didn’t get when people didn’t get their jokes and Jumin…he’s not the best with jokes in general.
  • Your friends are also very casual, so when Jumin showed up in his “Formal Dinner Party” attire they were a little confused.
  • You had given them a fair warning…but they didn’t think you were serious.
  • You ate dinner, it went surprisingly okay. You swore there might come a time when Jumin and one of the roomies might hit a rough patch but nope. Smooth sailing, especially when he learned one of your roomies is pre vet and they shared a passion for felines.
  • After dinner you escorted him to your room.
  • Almost immediately you were wrapped in each other’s arms on the bed.You guys try to keep it professional in public, so once you’re alone you two make up for the lost public snuggle time hardcore.
  •  You lay side by side, your head on his chest, his arm around you and rubbing your back. You just chat about things, you ask Jumin about random things just to hear his voice His voice is my guilty fucking pleasure my god bless that VA. It calms you. But if he says the right things it gets you a little… hot and bothered.
  • “So dinner was good….when’s dessert?” Yep like that. Hot. And. Bothered. 
  • “Jumin” You gasped a little, surprised he suggested it
  • “I’m sorry? I assume from the way your hand was inching towards-”
  • Oh shit? Your hand was heading down there wasn’t it. Haha ohhhhh Hand. *cue audience laugh track* Anyways
  • “I mean, I would but uh…my roommates are downstairs. It’s not like the penthouse where it’s just us.”
  • “And?” He is so shameless. Or clueless. Or maybe a little bit of both.
  • “Wouldn’t you be, uh, embarrassed?”
  • “Should I? I assumed it was no secret that we had sex. Usually people assume anways…” He trailed off, but then remembered the situation at hand. “But if you’d rather not I understand. “ He sounded a little disappointed, but then he looked at you with a small smirk. “But I guess now it’ll be only sweeter the next time I get to lay you down and” cue intense details of. He didn’t stop, he just kept talking about all the things you two could do, and his voice kept getting lower and huskier and you could tell how excited he was just by the way he was talking
  • You couldn’t take it
  • Fuck the roommates
  • Jumin was right it’s not like they don’t know
  • You suddenly rolled so you were on top of him, straddling his waist.
  • “Kitten I thought-”
  • You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a very sloppy kiss.
  •  When you pulled away for air you just “I don’t care. Let them hear.”
  • You two got wild
  • ….I’ll stop here. You guys don’t need the details 
  • Once you two were finished you were cuddling again. Just cuddling without clothes but that was A OK.
  • Jumin was back to rubbing your back again, and you were cuddled up to him again.Your hand was on his chest and his hand on top, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth. But instead of talking you guys kept exchanging gentle kisses, taking turns leaning in and reaching for kisses from each other.
  • Around midnight he figured he should get going home. You both put your clothes on and walked out to the car. On the way there you saw your roommates. They looked a little shook. Little bit. They waved by to Jumin even though they could barely look at the two of you without blushing.
  • Jumin planted a firm kiss on you at the car, and when you walked back in you turned to your roommates, ready to apologize for the..uh…noise.
  • “Hey guys…so uh…hahaha awkward amiright?”
  • “I don’t know, is it….’Kitten’?”
  • “Or should we ask….’Daddy’?”
  • You’re never living this down. Ever.

Seven

  • He came over to meet your family
  • He already knew almost everything about them so he was well prepared to kiss ass
  • He didn’t have to though, they liked him off the bat. They were glad they finally got to meet the boy MCs been spending all their time with.
  • After dinner MC and he decided to go upstairs and hang out a bit.
  • These two nerds legit sat in MCs bed looking at memes on their phones
  • At least an hour went by with you two just giggling and showing your phones to each other
  • Somehow you both found ways to get closer to each other without meaning to.
  • It started off with you two leaning against the wall, but soon you were basically sitting in Seven’s lap, head leaning against his chest, and the two of staring at one phone screen of memes.
  • At some point Seven snaked his arms around your waist, and buried his face in between your shoulder blade and your neck.
  • The giggles continued.
  • Soon you saw a meme that had you dying laughing. Seven was amused, but he ended up getting more amused when you started snorting from laughing so hard. You clasped a hand over your mouth to try to silence the noise, but it was not happening. He thought it was too cute and couldn’t help but kiss your cheek with an overdramatic “MUAAAH” noise
  • More memes and time passed
  • Now you two were laying on your tummies, side by side, memeing away
  • That’s when you look at Seven. A slight grin on his face, the way his eyes sparkle when he’s having a good time, everything about him really.
  • You just feel so much…love for him.
  • So you put your phone down and start peppering him with light quick kisses all over the side of his face.
  • He laughs “MC what are you doing?”
  • “I just…I love you so much” You can’t hold back the smile on your face. Just staring at him makes you happy. “Saeyoung, sometimes…Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re real” and you lightly touch his face, taking in the feel of his skin and the look in his eyes.
  • He seems overcome with emotion too. Some mix of happiness and sadness, but then more happiness.
  • He shifts so he’s facing you more and plants a long kiss on your lips. Eventually you both sit up and just start kissing. It’s not the sloppy make out of when you guys are getting ready to do the do, it’s a long line of passionate kisses filled with innocent love and need for one another.
  • It’s love.
  • You end up wrapped in one another’s arms staring into each other’s eyes until both of you doze off.
  • It’s about 2 am when you wake up. You two are still wrapped up, and Saeyoung is snoozing peacefully inches from your face. You wish you could just stare at him all night, the moonlight bouncing off his face made him look like he really wasn’t real, like he’d turn into mist at any second and slip away Wow I’m getting really poetic. Probably cause it’s 5 am idk sorry
  • But you know theres work he has to get done and normally he’s not even sleeping at this time so he’s probably already behind schedule.
  • You start off as a soft whisper, scared your voice could break the magic of the moment “Saeyoung”
  • He stirrs a bit but doesn’t open his eyes.
  • A little louder, but still whispering “Saeyoung” HIs eyelids lift slowly, and when he sees your face, a sleepy smile spreads across his own.
  • This alone makes you feel giddy and in love and your own mouth cracks a giant smile. Then you start peppering his face with gentle kisses.
  • “Come on” kisskisskiss “Wake up silly” kisskisskiss “I kept you long enough”
  • In his tired lawd kill me if I heard sleepy Seven’s voice I’d probably die voice he muttered “Keep me forever, MC”

here’s a list of some plots that i really really want. i’ve credited the original posts where i’ve gotten most of these from!

age gap aus: (cr.)

  • You live in my building and are so attractive let me always offer to carry your things up the stairs since the elevator is broken in hopes you’ll invite me in.
  • I’m a new Intern and my boss’s spouse is super foxy.
  • You’re an 800 year old vampire and I just turned 18.
  • I’m in desperate need for some cash so I became a Sugarbaby.
  • You’re my parent’s boss and I accepted your advances because I didn’t want them to get fired but you actually were just interested in me and you’re sorta cool.
  • We met online, hooked up and it turns out you’re my best friend’s aunt/uncle.

secretly dating/fucking aus: (cr.)

  • I’m your boss’s child.
  • You’re a really close friend of my sibling/parent/cousin/roommate but we also really hit it off?
  • We’re coworkers and usually that wouldn’t be a problem but I’m your boss, so stop looking at me like that.
  • You’re my RA and you signed a contract saying you wouldn’t hook up with your residents but can we overlook that for just tonight? and next week? and for the rest of the semester, maybe?
  • We hooked up after the office party even though there’s a strict no dating rule and honestly? we shouldn’t keep doing this but it was really fun.

soulmate aus: (cr.) / (cr.)

  • All of your dreams are your soulmate’s most significant memories from that given day.
  • Your soulmate’s hair color is the color of your eyes. the color of your eyes also changes to match the color of their hair if they dye it.
  • You wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them.

apartment aus: (cr.) / (cr.) / (cr.)

  • Your apartment is next to/above mine and I can hear you and your partner dancing and singing and the bed moving and you two laughing and talking in hussed tones and it won’t let me sleep so I bitch about it to you 24/7 and one day it stops and one day turns to one week and then months and I haven’t seen you smile in forever please let me in, I’ve been knocking for ten minutes.
  • I walked in on your ex yelling at you so you grabbed me and kissed me  so she’d go away and I’m kind of freaked out I literally just met you last week.
  • I accidentally took your laundry but just so you know you have awesome taste in underwear.
  • The walls are really thin and i can hear everything you’re saying could you please shut the fuck up new neighbor.
  • One person keeps showing up at the others place because they claim there’s always pokemon lurking there but really they just have a massive crush and wants to see them all the time.

famous aus: (cr.) / (cr.) / (cr.)

  • Plot where muse a is famous as fuck and creates a fake fan account on twitter/tumblr to feel kinda closer to fans and it’s all good and no one really knows it’s him and he’s getting to know what fans want from him but then enters muse b, who’s so completely in love with muse a and his music. The two begin to talk and they become friends and soon they’re texting constantly and she tells him everything and fangirls about her idol to him and they’ve both caught feelings really badly. So one day muse b gets a little scared that she’s being catfished so she asks muse a to video call her. Out of fear of losing her, he agrees and, surprise bitch, it’s her fucking idol.
  • We’re bandmates and we’re both straight as fuck but we’re currently on tour and it’s been a busy six months with hardly any time to go out and meet people, wanna hook up? It’s better than nothing, right? — But oh shit we’ve been at it for two months and the sex doesn’t really feel meaningless anymore and I have no idea what to do because aren’t we supposed to be straight?
  • I’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me I’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad.
Thanksgiving Gone Wrong Starters
  • "There's no way this bird is fitting in that oven."
  • "Do I look like I know how to cook?"
  • "Here, help me get this cornish hen inside the turkey. I want to convince my sister the turkey was pregnant."
  • "If I hear one more Christmas song I'm going to throttle someone."
  • "My family made it a whole ten minutes before arguing this year."
  • "Backyard football got a little heated, can you meet me at the ER?"
  • "I need you to run back to the store."
  • "You didn't tell me that I had to kill the turkey!"
  • "I think the stuffing is laced with drugs."
  • "I don't think my mom has caught on yet that my brother's roommate is his boyfriend yet. She's letting them share a room."
  • "Don't you think it's a little racist the neighbors dress up their kids as Native Americans?"
  • "I'm lost somewhere between the dairy aisle and the end of the check-out line."
  • "Oh my God, I hate your family."
  • "I can't tell if your grandma is asleep on the couch or dead."
  • "What asshole decided to hold the election right before a major family holiday?"
  • "No, really, the bed in my room is too small to fuck on. It's like my parents are trying to sabotage me."
  • "The line for the bathroom is 12 deep."
  • "I'm still at the airport."
  • "Why do I smell something burning -- oh."
  • "You can't use fireworks to cook!"
  • "The turkey hotline blocked my number."
  • "Why is your head in the turkey?!"
9

morgan hell is so real rn

9

draco x hermione: roommates au for the @slytherdornet new beginnings challenge!

“Is this some kind of joke?”
“I’m afraid not. I found your ad on the Daily Prophet. Are you looking for a new roommate or not?”
“You are serious, aren’t you? Would you care to elaborate? Last time I checked you were living in the Manor –”
“You checked on me? That’s very sweet of you”.
“Malfoy!”
“Fine. I was disowned. My parents weren’t too thrilled about my life choices lately. I need somewhere to live. You need a roommate. So what do you say, Granger? Wanna ‘shack up’?”

anonymous asked:

What's the polite way to say "We hear you and your bf having sex all the time can you try to be quiet?" To my roommate? He's been here 3 days and it's practically nonstop

lol 3 days nonstop and you wanna be polite? bless your heart. me? day 2 and i would’ve been like

“bitch i’m all for you getting it in but i don’t need a live broadway reenactment of Lion King when i’m trying to make myself some Ramen and watch Greys Anatomy. Either turn the volume down 5 notches or I’ll blast George Michael’s Careless Whisper every time i hear you guys cause if i’m gonna be part of the experience I might as well have fun too”

me, watching the next episode’s previews and seeing hansung climbing into yeo wool’s bed:

Affair of the Heart

Affair of the heart

Word count: 11.4k

Genre: smut, angst

You were in love with your roommate Hoseok. Jimin knows your secret and wants to help you make him jealous.

Happy Birthday to my world and sunshine! Im not trying to cry but I hope my angel has the best day ever!!


You got home, to your shared apartment, after your morning shift. You hated being a waitress but Sunday mornings did bring in a big crowd. You think people who just got out of church were supposed to be nice but no. Everyone is cranky and wants brunch. Either way people tipped you well this morning and you needed to go buy groceries for you and Hoseok.

Hoseok, you thought. You wondered if he was awake. It was about two in the afternoon so you figured not. You knew he went out for a night of drinking with his friends. You also knew he brought a girl home last night. Mostly because you could hear everything they had done last night, well technically this morning. His room was across from your room and down the hall, that’s how loud they were. You could hear the bed hit the wall, the way she was screaming out for him, it was all too much for you. Especially his moans, they sounded so dirty and needy. You just wished they were for you, aching for you. Here you were in the kitchen writing a grocery list and getting wet thinking about Hoseok moaning.

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Everyone needs to see chanyeol singing love is an open door at least once I hope this brightens your day up cause it sure did for me

Hi everyone! My name is is Lilith, and I’m asking for a little help.😦
I recently moved up to Portland, Oregon which has been wonderful but the costs of living are around the same from where I left so I’m constantly struggling with debt I’ve accrued and been having trouble paying my bills.

I have to pay rent, utilities, and especially right now I have to pay a 188 dollar bill to get my health insurance activated, on top of a bunch of immediate fees I’ll be paying at the DMV to make sure that me driving my car is still legal and I apparently have a parking ticket from a time I visited LA that I wasn’t aware of that will make updating my documents all the more expensive, plus I have to pay car insurance AND I’m going to be going through the process of changing my name.

On top of all this I need to move again soon because my current living situation is unstable and I have roommates who are smoking meth which is highly triggering to me.

Basically I need all the help I can get right now and I’m pretty desperate. I would super appreciate it if you could either donate or boost this post!

You can donate to me at
cash.me/$LilithByrne