i need my ovaries one day!

Anyone else feel that their chronic illness gets looked down upon not just for being invisible but because able bodied people think it’s not that bad?

Like, take my PCOS for example

People think it just means I’ll have a lil trouble becoming a parent

But like, I get crippling pains that can hospitalise me for days, my ovaries are riddled with cysts that can and have ruptured, it leaves me exhausted, sometimes I can’t leave my own house, I can’t enjoy some of my favorite foods because the sugar in them sets off horrendous pain, I could develop diabetes, but people who know nothing about it bar difficulty conceiving just think that’s the only problem and I’m basically being a drama queen and need to buck up, and that’s only ONE of my multiple illnesses

Like honestly Debra I don’t care if your sister’s friend’s barber has it and they have seventeen children, there’s different levels of severity and it’s not just about difficulty getting pregnant

On that matter too, if somehow I got pregnant, I have like a 40% chance of miscarriage, which is upped even further thanks to having a tilted, heart-shaped uterus, so even if I wasn’t bothered by every other nasty aspect of PCOS it’s still fucking horrible to think that if I were lucky enough to create a child it has quite a large chance of dying inside me

I wish there was more respect for unseen illness

Let me share something very personal with you guys

This my dears is me bleaching my face. I am sick and tired of having to do this, having to check every morning to see if you can see and dark hairs. I spend hours in front of the mirror. Hours feeling gross, and un feminine. It makes me feel sick. It makes me want to cry every day. 

I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome and so hirsutism (excess hair) is a symptom of this. I have been so embarrassed to tell anyone about this. No one knows I bleach and pluck my face and other areas of my body. But I don’t want to have to be embarrassed about it. It’s a medical condition. 

Being overweight can increase this and increase symptoms of pcos. So this is a huge motivator for me to loose weight. I need to do this. I want to get those hours stood in front of a mirror back. I want to be healthy. 

I’m sorry (actually not sorry this is my blog) if people think this is gross or whatever but I’m putting this out there just in case there is anyone else that is struggling with this too. 

I feel sick posting this.