i need more ashley in my life

Paper Maps

by Kristin Russo, taken from Freshman Year of Life : Essays That Tell the Truth About Work, Home, and Love After College

I moved to New York City when I was nineteen. I’m not sure that there’s ever been a place that sparkled and shone quite as much as NYC did for me that year, teeming with tangles of dirty streets, angry, honking cabs, and an endless array of scuttling rodents. I’d dreamed of this for years. Finally, it was all mine.

When I first arrived, I rented a tiny room in a hostel on the Upper West Side. My room had everything I needed: a twin bed, a desk, a mini-fridge, a heating pipe (which would burst a few weeks after I moved in, soaking all of my belongings and my brand-new forty-pound laptop), a sink, and a closet with three hangers. I shared a bathroom and a kitchen with five strangers who lived in my hallway.

At the time, I was finishing up my undergraduate degree in theater at Marymount Manhattan College. Marymount was on East Seventy-First Street, and my hostel was on West Ninety-Fourth Street. I studied the subway map (a paper map! I actually had a paper subway map!) to determine the best route between my new home and my new school. If I took the 2 train south to Times Square, I could transfer to the S train that would shuttle me across to Grand Central Station. Once there, I could transfer to the 4 train, one stop up to Fifty-Ninth Street and then transfer one more time to the 6 train to Sixty-Eighth. Boom. Four trains, no problem. This was city life. Yes!

I took those four trains twice a day. Not to brag, but I also learned how to get down to the NYU dorms at the South Street Seaport, where my then-girlfriend lived. (She was my very first girlfriend, and she was a great girlfriend. She let me smoke her cigarettes, wear her clothes, and borrow her wonderful CD mixes for my Discman-accompanied commutes.) One fateful day, I left her dorm and headed to catch the 4 train (another added bonus of staying at her place was that it only required two trains). I was wearing my favorite pair of overalls, which incidentally belonged to her and had legs that were wide enough to fit around my whole body. As I pushed through the subway trestle, I saw my train pull into the station. It had apparently only taken me three months of city living to begin to have the mind of a New Yorker, because my first instinct was to run as fast as I could to catch that train. And so, I ran.

And then, I fell.

Well… I almost fell. Truthfully, it would have been much better had I just fallen. Instead, my right foot caught in the wide swath of denim that surrounded it, and as I descended, I caught myself on the side of my left foot… and broke it.

Three months into moving to NYC, in the freezing November cold, I broke my goddamn foot.

I didn’t immediately know I’d broken it, but I did know that I was in a massive amount of pain. Not too much pain, however, to continue my now one-legged sprint to catch that train. And I did! I caught the train! No one cheered for me, but now that I understand the spirit of NYC a bit better, I’m certain they were all cheering on the inside. Once on the train and in the wake of this very real, very extreme pain, I lost awareness of what was and wasn’t acceptable train behavior. I dropped my bags in the middle of the train floor, I took off my giant winter coat, dropped it next to my bags, and I stared at my foot. That’s all I did. I just stared at my foot, sweating with pain, brow furrowed, with my belongings all around me on the subway floor. I stared at it all the way to Forty-Second Street, scooped up my things, and hobbled across the platform to transfer to the 6 train, dropped them once more on the subway floor, stared at my foot until we got to Sixty-Eighth Street, and then somehow walked, on my freshly broken foot, to my acting class. It took me almost thirty minutes to walk three street blocks and one avenue. For reference, that’s less than half a mile.

As you might expect, upon my arrival to class, my professor immediately told me to go to the walk-in clinic down the street. After x-rays, I was given a blue canvas boot and a pair of crutches, and I hobbled my way to an indulgent taxi ride back to my hostel.

In case you are unfamiliar with NYC winters, I will let you know that they are cold, they are icy, they are dirty, and they are entirely unforgiving— and all that with two working feet. I want to also remind you that my commute, up until this point, included about eight trains per day, and each of those came with ample walking and many stairs. I couldn’t get up and down stairs much at all, and certainly not when they were covered in icy slush. Suddenly, canvas boot and all, I couldn’t get anywhere.

Until, that is, I revisited my subway map and learned that NYC, in addition to its sprawling subway system, also has buses. Who. Knew. I learned (via my paper map) that just a few steps from my door was a crosstown bus that, on the regular, traveled right through Central Park to the east side. I’d been taking four trains this whole time when I could have taken just one bus? This was the first moment where the NYC I thought I knew laughed directly in my face before playfully tousling my hair. You see, NYC isn’t shy about breaking a person, bones and all, in a gesture of the warmest welcome.

I’ve now been in this city for fifteen years. I know almost every subway line and bus route that exists in nearly every borough. I traverse it with the same ease that I brush my teeth or climb into my bed. That moment, fifteen years ago in lower Manhattan, was the first of many moments (they really never stop) where I was forced to readjust, recalibrate, and further question the city, and world, around me. I had many other pivotal moments in those first few years— some with only a handful of subway passengers as my witness, and others where the whole world watched my city in confusion and wonder.

We all, inevitably, break our metaphoric (or in my case, literal) feet. Am I glad that I broke my foot? Not really. Am I glad that it made me recalibrate, readjust, and continue to question? You’d better believe I am. I needed to learn, just as we all do, that there is always more than one route on that paper map.

Oh, hey! This is a piece I wrote for the essay collection called Freshman Year of Life : Essays That Tell the Truth About Work, Home, and Love After College. I am in some pretty wonderful company, alongside writers such as Ashley Ford, Shannon Keating, and Mara Wilson. You should check it out!

Failing marriages.

Pairing : Husband!Dean x Wife!Reader, SamxReader, AshleyxDean, JohnxReader, JohnxMary
Word count : 4,503
Author : Mel
Request : @bigdaddymongoose - What if Ash got pregnant after that night with Dean in the shower.

‘She’s Leaving, Dean’ 1 year celebration!


Sam had left 3 days ago. You were barely functioning, you had a hard time accepting that he was gone. He had fucked you every day like it would be the last, and then it had been. You had refused to watch him pack, sat outside on the stairs trying not to cry when he came out.

What hurt the most right now, wasn’t that the kids kept asking for him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t yours anymore. It wasn’t even that you’d have to watch him, and your kids, with her.. It was that he had left when he didn’t want to. When he said goodbye, that final time, you could see it in his eyes, he was breaking as much as you were. Your Sammy wasn’t your Sammy anymore, and he hated that.

“Eat, sweetheart.” Dean had put breakfast in front of you a while ago. You weren’t sure how long ago, but it was cold now. He sighed, and took the coffee cup from your hands, dumped the rest and poured you a fresh cup. It was all he could get you to consume in the mornings. He put it down in front of you, and tried again. “I’ll make you anything, baby, please just eat something.”

Keep reading


A series of reaaaaal quick doodles I made this week ! My diary’s gonna get Steven Universed in no time ~

Click on the pictures for captions ! ✮

I’m on the way to move my sister back into college, and this radio station just flat out tore up an engagement on air. This person named Lindsay called the radio station and said she thinks her fiancé is cheating on her and the radio station called her fiancé Matt and said he had won a free romantic massage for him and his partner but they needed the name to make it more personal and he said Ashley instead of Lindsay and then shit hit the fan and Matt and Lindsay broke off the engagement (why did I get so involved in some strangers love life over the radio). After the fact, this announcer dude just casually goes “well, folks, this has been Fiancé Friday !” What even is this radio station I can’t.

safari-eyes  asked:

i'd love to hear more about your journey with ashley -- how did you realize what you were to each other?

oh thank you for this beautiful ask!! i love any opportunity to talk about my girl, and our love,,, but i’m not entirely sure how to answer this tbh, if only because our journey has been a whirlwind and ‘what we are to each other’ has never needed definition. all i know for sure is that ashley is the love of my life, and i have known that almost from the moment i met her. our hearts match. in the time i have been talking to ashley, we have never said goodbye… only goodnight, and even then, the one of us left awake doesn’t stop talking. it started with waking up to maybe 20 messages from her, to now hundreds. our words are our lifeline. i knew from the beginning that ashley was very special to me, was someone significant to me, and it didn’t take me long at all to figure out that she is who i have spent my whole life waiting for. my dream girl. finding her in that airport the first time wasn’t remarkable at all – it was,,, comfortable. it was home. it felt immediately as if she had been by my side my whole life. and she has, in a way. we’ve visited three times in the year and a half we’ve been talking and each has been more magical and miraculous than the last. 9 weeks all up – the best of my life. our relationship has definitely developed, our hearts have definitely opened, our perceptions have definitely changed… but when did i realise what we were to each other? right away.

she is my soulmate.

Microreview Round 7: BOOKSHELVES

I was tagged by say favorite Californian @sparkylovesbooks! Thanks love and love you!!!!! <333
My books are scattered in different places atm so this 

What genres or types of books dominate your shelf?
Young Adult! Contemporary, paranormal, sci-fi-fi, dystopian or whatnot. I love my YA

What do you wish you had more of?
I’m joining Ashley with this one! I need more New Adult in my life. I don’t know why but all the NA books I read in the last year really sucked me in and temporarily (by that I mean until the book was over) got me out of my reading slump

Smallest book? Largest book?
Smallest when it comes to pages: Kindred Spirits by Rainbow Rowell or We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I don’t know tbh. 
When it comes to size: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll. It’s a cute special edition with gilded pages.

Largest when it comes to pages: 11.22.63 by Stephen King. I read it for school and it took me 3 months (but with a lot of rest days hahaha)
When it comes to size: all tales from the Grimm Brothers. I got it when I was 10 and I still love it. Need to reread them again.

Oldest book? Newest book?

Oldest written: probably one of the books my dad gave me from when he was still a kid. You might think ‘nice, some old school tales and shit.’ Nope, it was a bound edition of all Greek tales. I can use that book to knock out a burglar.
Oldest owned: the German edition of Inkheart by Cornelia Funke (I can’t remember any books I got earlier than that hahaha)

Newest written: A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas (still haven’t read it)
Newest owned: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas 

Does anything live there besides books?
Just some candles and some stuff I got from friends and fairy lights!

I’m tagging: @aelinqueenofshadows @sophienizynskireads @happybibliosaurus @books-and-cookies and whoever wants to do this as well! <333

My Friends Brother - part 8 - Luke

tell me what you thought here 

part 7 here 

Calum, Calum is sitting on the tree outside your house. You open the window.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you shout.

“wanted to see if you were okay” he says coming forward, to enter your room.

“I’m fine, but you need to leave.” You say walking away from the window.

“but I just got here” he whines

“and I want you to leave” you grab his arm and direct him to your bedroom door.

“but I don’t want to leave” he pull his arm out of your hold and brings you to him.

“don’t even think about it” you whisper, but he does anyway. He brings his lips to yours and pulls you into a captivating kiss. you pull away from him. “we can’t do this” trying to get out of his hold.

“yes we can” he says going back for a kiss. you smash your foot down on his, and as he draws back you punch him in the stomach.

“I said no, know get out” you voice.

“fine, fine, fine” he says. You throw him out of the house. As you watch him drive off you notice Luke on his front lawn washing his car, starring angrily at you. Great.

Keep reading

it should have been me (1/3-ish)

Fandom: Mass Effect
Pairing: Female Shepard/Ashley Williams
Rating: T
Notes:  I’ve wanted to write for Ash for a long time, but since I never played ME1 until recently, I felt like I needed more to go on. And apparently I found it bc I felt like writing in first person again. Also apparently I’m very into three-part pieces right now–tentatively, at least.


She came into my life like a demon, or some kind of really fucked up angel.  Definitely glowing, but covered in blood and with the kind of look in her eye that said ‘do not fuck with me,’ but also 'follow me if you want to live.’

We walked past literal piles of bodies.  My team.  My friends.  People who should have made it, instead of me.  She wasn’t here for them, anyway.

I was offered a spot on the Normandy, and what could I do but accept?  A lifetime of shit assignments and now the best ship in the Alliance fleet, some kind of crazy mission against a council Spectre, and on top of all that, serving under a commander who was nothing short of infamous?  My ass would be dead if she hadn’t come along, anyway.  Any time after that was extra, and I might as well spend it doing something halfway worthwhile.

The ship was crawling with aliens.  My family wasn’t nearly far enough removed from the First Contact War not to see a turian and think about the old joke.  One day, in frustration, I whispered it to the pilot after Vakarian had walked past.

(psst.  hey, joker.

yeah, what’s up?

what do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spikey monster?

glint of mischief in his eye.  what?

friendly fire.)

Read More (AO3)

Hey guys! I need more stuff on my dash so can you reblog of you post about
-The last of us
-until dawn
-the wolf among us
-life is strange
-assassins creed unity/syndicate
-infamous second son
-the mortal instrument
-percy jackson
-harry potter
-ashley and chris
-Elise and arno
-warren and max
-viola and todd
-delsin and fetch
-snow and bigby

Meeting Jen today was so great! I couldn’t help making the Hameron sign, I needed this picture in my life, and she seemed genuinely pleased by it, she kinda chuckled and said something along the lines of ‘it’s great…so many flashbacks’ but it was a blur, honestly. Mostly I just tried to expressed my love of Cameron and also mentioned how fantastic I though she was in Bringing Ashley Home! I kinda only mentioned Emma in relation to the fact that I am glad to see her playing a lead role and getting more material than the House writers ever gave her but Jen as Cameron is where my hearts always gonna be! It’s bittersweet to see her 'take off’ because of OUAT and most people there today knowing her only as Emma. It’s so clearly a better opportunity for her in terms of her career growth and recognition (I couldn’t be prouder) but loving House as much as I do and loving her character from that for so long it’s kinda sad have to acknowledge that House is the past, it was a different part of her life and it’s not as relevant anymore. Essentially I wish that House could have been what OUAT has proven to be for her. I also met Aaron Ashmore (his response to me saying I was a Bering & Wells shipper and enthusiastic ’Who isn’t?!’) and Jason Dohring. They were both incredibly sweet, especially Jason. Also, they’re all really beautiful, it’s pretty ridiculous. 

Reasons why I love Halsey

Jesus fucking Christ I fucking love Halsey, she’s such a beautiful person and I love how she shows the world the girl power without making an effort because she just exhales power.

AND HER SONGS OH MY GOD!!!!! The lyrics are just adjekrjekkf it literally makes me wanna cry and kiss that woman until my lips dry. I mean she doesn’t need to sing about her life story for people to realize she’s one of the strongest women in this industry. She simply sings about… Life. That’s what I love about her.

Needless to say that her soul is so… Pure. I never met her (I still cry bc of this) and I already know she’s the most amazing person in the world. She doesn’t treat her fans like her fans. She treats them like a long-time lost friend who she just got reunited with. And I think that’s fucking awesome.

The world needs more people like Halsey.

se7enteenblack I hope you have a WONDERFUL life as well as everyone else in this world. You make a big difference in people’s lives, I hope you know that. You make a big difference on mine.

And I’m sorry about my English, my first language is Portuguese so… Yeah, thanks.

You know, for all that we talk about Virmire, whether it be “OH GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE” to “I couldn’t wait to blow up the racist bitch/whiny boring manchild”, we rarely talk about how sad the incident is for the one who doesn’t die.

Obviously leaving someone to die a probably terrible death where there’s no body, no proper burial is horrible and it hurts so badly. Whoever your choose, it’s a massive loss.

But what about the one you do rescue? What do they have to go through, knowing that it was them or someone else? How do they suffer in the aftermath? How do they live with knowing that they have to be worth someone else’s life?

Does Ashley have to fight back tears when she hears someone call Shepard “ma’am”?

Would Kaidan wake up in the middle of the night and look frantically around the crew quarters, only to find Ashley not there?

Despite the teasing they did with one another, you can’t tell me that Ash and Kaidan weren’t close, and that losing them hurt really damn badly, and I wish they’d explored the consequences of the survivor more in depth because who needs their soul, honestly?

Basically, protect the Virmire Babies At All Costs Squad 2k15


Sometimes I think about Idina Menzel and how famous and ubiquitous she is now…and then just laugh my ass off because all I see - all I’ll ever think of when I think of her - is Maureen from RENT.  

And I’m not talking movie-version Maureen, after she got older and more glamorous and better vocal training.  I’m talking about dirty, sexy, screechy Maureen from 1994 who taught pre-teen me that bisexuality is a viable option for life and who taught the theater community that perfection can be superseded by passion.

I don’t need to hear her give a flawless performance at the Oscars or on a NYE show, because I loved her before all of that, when her baseline performance was always raw and open and a little bit cracked out.  This woman is pure performance energy and a goddess and I’m glad that the world has seen it.  But dammit, sometimes…I just want to moo with her.

BioWare fandom can be such asshats when characters display any sort of questioning opinion toward the PC, and the funniest and most ridiculous part is how those questioning characters are provably right 99% of the time.
Ashley thinks the Council will abandon humans for their own needs. Then they do that.
Carth thinks your circumstance is suspicious and the Jedi’s motivations are more than they’re letting on. Oh, guess what, he’s literally right.
Wynne questions your forever love with Alistair. “You may be forced to make a choice between saving your love and saving everyone else." Then that exactly happens.

I know you get these messages all the time, but you and your music have always felt like a safe place to land for me. I listen to 1989 or any of the other albums whenever I’m nervous or need some inspiration or just want to listen to some quality music. You’ve changed my life so much and even though I’ve never met you (which I hope some day will change) I feel like I know you. No matter how crazy things get, you always seem to stay sane and stay true to what you believe in. I genuinely love and appreciate not only your incredible, inspiring music, but your personality and your attitude. You’re the reason I learned to play guitar and started singing, and you inspire me to be a better person every day. You’ve proven that it doesn’t matter what people think about you as long as you love and believe in yourself, and as a 16 year old I couldn’t be more in need of a message like that. Whenever someone mentions your name in conversation, everyone automatically says ‘don’t insult her or Ashley’s gonna go insane!’ 😂 To be honest, I love it when people say that- it’s super flattering. I just want you to know you’re never alone, and me along with TONS of other Swifties will stand by you forever and will support you no matter what. Thank you for being such an amazing role model and the DC show on the 13th was hands down the best night of my life.
All my love,
{P.S.- Im hangin with ya tonight (on my shirt) even though you’re playing another amazing sold out show :) tell Mere and Dibbles I say hi!}

anonymous asked:

Happy, bouncing, winking Louis wearing glasses. Are you okay Ashley?

No pal. No I am not okay. Louis is WILLINGLY wearing glasses and my favorite shirt. His ankles are gracing us with their presence again. He’s bouncing, winking, waving, dancing, blowing kisses, interacting with fans and just being the most adorable little human I’ve ever seen in my life. Like more so than usual. He’s starting to let his guard down and his personality is shining through like a beacon of light. The sun is out in full force and I need sunglasses and SPF 50 to deal with it! Most importantly he looks happy and actually seems to be enjoying himself. Since last weekend my emotions have been all over the spectrum

learning about his Be in the Band involvement


Watching him bounce all over the stage again with a huge smile on his face

Every time I refresh my dash. It’s been a rough time. But I’ll take it!

Shay Mitchell: “Please welcome my new addition, "Angel” 🐶 … Couldn’t be more excited and happy that I have a new best friend but I also saved a life. Adopting is always a better choice! There are too many strays that need a good home. Check out your local shelters and maybe you will fall in love too!“ (http://instagram.com/p/q-c-Oswr3p/)