i need friends please be my friend

signal boost for my good friend

 hi guys! A REMINDER THAT I DON’T NEED MONEY ANYMORE!!! but my friend does. 

i posted on FB (on close friends of course :’) ) the good news that I don’t need any more money. my friend, however, asked if i could help him out. i said, “sure, why not.” 

here are the messages.


my man is a sweet guy who is a very compassionate person and dear friend. whatever i can part with, i will give to him. it is the least i can do to pay it forward. if you have any money to spare for a person who’s in a bit of a rut right now, please help. it’s hard to be black, schizophrenic, on the LGBT+ spectrum AND homeless (i see it all the time. it’s very hard), and so I don’t want him to suffer. usually he doesn’t ask for any type of help because he doesn’t want to play into the “i’m mentally ill, so i’m helpless” but i told him it’s okay to ask for help if you really and truly need it and that everybody struggles –  from neurotypical to neurodivergent. some people just need help. i want to be able to help him and everyone else that needs help. 

please signal boost this because he’s very worried. none of this money will touch me at all, you have my guarantee. 

anything helps! his paypal email is cyanide.happiness@gmail.com and again, none of this money will touch me in any way. it’s all to make sure that he can eat and live.

if you have a thing you need to signal boost, please DM me your cause as that’s my way of paying it forward for now. keep it to emergency situations for now please! 

Friends

If anyone wants to be my friend, you’re welcome to. I need new friends anyway. Just message me with your name, age, and pronouns. No sexting or inappropriate pictures please. And be at least 16 or 15 or under.

i believe in the normalization of platonic love and affection; and i also believe in the normalization of letting people say no to affection. let people say “i’m sorry, i don’t like to be touched” without others getting offended. let people set boundaries without others questioning why they don’t “believe in platonic love.”

just like… some of us have good reasons for not wanting to be touched and tbh a good enough reason should just be “i don’t want to be touched.” please ask first, please don’t be offended if we ask you not to touch us, please stand up for us if you see other people violating our boundaries.

and if you have a friend like me who is touch-shy - we still love you! just be patient. chances are, we’ll warm up over time and you’ll see us shift our boundaries for you. we’re trying most of the time. and if you’re having a hard day, just tell us you need physical affection - 9/10 times if someone says “i just need a hug” i will willingly and gratefully give it; it’s just difficult for me to initiate said hug without a verbal prompt. we’re not cold, we’re not mean, and we still want to be there for you!

touching friends is so great! saying “i love you” and other cheesy things to friends is awesome! please be really gentle with your friends who need different boundaries with this!! we love you too and we want to be there for you but sometimes we can’t be there in the same way! sorry ): okay thank you for listening have a nice day!

4

Rainbow Series

“He studies Rainbows” / Redbubble
“I Cried, in a cool way” / Redbubble (new link)


NOTE:
Please guys, I really don’t know what else I could do to get tickets. I need to see him live in Manila, I’m looking for 2 platinum tickets, so if you have extra tickets. Please contact me. I really need your help guys. REBLOG or TWEET IT. Thank you.

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines

  1. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”
  2. “Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”
  3. “Stay with me”
  4. “Walk out that door and we’re through”
  5. “Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”
  6. “I can’t breathe”
  7. “I hate how much I love you”
  8. “Why are you so jealous?”
  9. “Where do you think you’re going”
  10. “Just leave me alone”
  11. “I need some time”
  12. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”
  13. “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”
  14. “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”
  15. “Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”
  16. “Just talk to me”
  17. “Bite me”
  18. “If you insist”
  19. “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”
  20. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy”
  21. “Why are you so nice to me”
  22. “Choose me”
  23. “We’ll get through this, I promise”
  24. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”
  25. “You’re mine. I don’t share”
  26. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
  27. “If we get caught I’m blaming you”
  28. “Make me”
  29. “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”
  30. “I think I forgot how to breath”
  31. “Stop biting that fucking lip!”
  32. “You’re blushing”
  33. “I missed something didn’t I?”
  34. “You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”
  35. “Well this is awkward”
  36. “Is that my shirt?”
  37. “You look like you need a hug”
  38. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”
  39. “Please come home, I miss you”
  40. “You’re so fucking adorable”
  41. “How can you still look so attractive while crying.”
  42. “I’m pregnant”
  43. “You’re lucky you’re cute”
  44. “Cuddle me.”
  45. “Sometimes I really don’t like you”
  46. “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”
  47. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
  48. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”
  49. “Im too sober for this”
  50. “Oh god, I need a drink”
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt, mentally, physically, and emotionally hurt? You can’t imagine your life without them & one day they’re gone. Gone forever. Not in the sense that they’re dead. But dead inside? They’re not the person that they used to be. They don’t notice you exist anymore. You’ve spent countless years with this person. Watching movies together, hanging out every weekend, getting rides together. Then one day they leave you. Just like they’ve done before. You’re so hurt by this so you decide to tell them how you feel. For the first time you put yourself out there just to get stomped on. To feel broken. They pick other people over the person they said they’d never leave. You say things you can never take back. Just to realize how big of a mistake it really was. Not that you shared how you felt, but they didn’t accept it. They didn’t understand. They didn’t understand how they could hurt you by acting like you’re no longer their friend. Like you don’t matter to them anymore. And they think that u don’t love them but the truth is you love them too much. They blame you for taking medicine . You can’t help you have a mental disorder. You can’t help you think of dying 24/7. You can’t help that the one person you thought would understand you has left.
8 months go by.
You say 20 words to each other
They’ve moved on. To “better” friends and no longer think about you at all anymore. Until one day. You guys hang out again. For a couple of hours. And you can’t help but get false hope. Maybe things will go back to normal. Maybe we can be best friends again. But in the back of your mind, you know you can’t be so foolish. 8 months has changed this person. They’re no longer like you. You couldn’t be more opposite of each other now. You have different values. They don’t value anything. Not even you anymore. You can’t help but sympathize for this person because you love them still. Too much. But you can’t help but feel like they’re using you. Now it been almost a year since the first fall out. You’ve changed so much. But you’re alone . You talk to your ‘friend’ about once a week now. You can’t help but feel used. She doesn’t need you anymore. And that’s when you realize. The only person you have is yourself. The only person you can rely on is yourself. People will leave. Don’t put your happiness in other people. They’ll drop it. Every. Single. Time.
—  Three years later and I still can’t let this go.
Unheard Confessions

Originally posted by juggie3


Anon request: Hello! I was hoping you could do a Jughead imagine where him and the reader are pre-relationship and the reader confesses their love almost every day but Jug is too caught up in his writing to notice? (Bonus if the other parts of the CoreFour are involved). Thanks!

Pairing: Jughead Jones x Reader

Description: Everyday (Y/N) confesses her feelings for Jughead but they’re never heard

Warnings: one swear word

Word count: 1,201

A/N: ahh everyone thank you so much for all the kind responses to my first imagine!! hope you enjoy!


We sat in our usual booth at Pop’s: him feverishly writing his story and me staring at him as smitten as can be.

“Jughead?” I asked, glancing at the raven-haired boy sitting across from me.

“Hmm?” he hummed, eyes remaining glued to the laptop screen.

“I just… I wanted to,” I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in.  “I know we’ve been friends for a while and that’s great, I love being your friend, but sometimes I just think that… I don’t know, sometimes I want to be more.”  He remained quiet, so I continued, “And if you don’t feel the same that’s okay, I don’t want anything to ruin our friendship.”  I let out a big sigh and looked up at Jughead.  He was still staring at his laptop.  “Jughead!” I exclaimed, causing him to jump slightly.

“What?” he asked. My eyes widened.

“Did you not hear anything I just said?” I inquired.  Jughead’s eyebrows rose and he bit his lip, breaking eye contact with me.

“I’m sorry, I was just really invested in my story,” he apologized.  I sighed and shrugged, standing up.

“It’s fine, Jug, it wasn’t anything important,” I assured him, grabbing my bag.  “I’m gonna head home, I have to work on my homework.” He nodded and waved as I turned around and exited Pop’s.  “Oh god,” I muttered under my breath as I walked home, rubbing my temples.


Two days later, I found myself in the same position: Jughead furiously typing and me preparing to confess my feelings.

“Jughead, I need to talk to you,” I said, more demandingly than last time.  Jughead looked up from his laptop and nodded.

“Go ahead,” he said, then looked back down at his screen.

“I-” Before I could start, Betty approached our table.

“Hey guys!” she greeted.  I smiled, whereas Jughead kept his head down.  “Could I sit here with you guys?”

“Uh, yeah, of course,” I replied, scooching over so she could sit next to me.  She smiled gratefully as she slid into the booth.

“Thanks, (Y/N).  So what were you guys talking about before I interrupted?”  I bit my lip.  Betty knew about my big crush on Jughead, all of our friends knew.  I glanced at her and she nodded, understanding what I was trying to do.  “Do you want me to leave?” she whispered.  I shook my head.

“No, no, you can stay. Please, actually, I need the moral support.”  She nodded and sat back in the booth.  I sucked in a deep breath and started over, “So, Jughead, as I was trying to say before, we’ve been friends for so long.  But I like you.  I’ve liked you for a while, and I even tried to tell you a few days ago but you didn’t hear me.  I just needed to tell you, and if you don’t feel the same that’s fine.  Just, please, I want to at least stay friends with you no matter what.”  Betty looked at me with a proud smile, subtly sending me a thumbs up.  Smiling back at her, I turned to face Jughead.

“Jughead?” Betty asked, glancing between me and him.  “Did you just hear what (Y/N) said?”

“Huh?” Jughead breathed, looking between me and Betty.  “Betty, when’d you join us?”  Betty and I exchanged a shocked glance, our eyes wide and mouths agape.  “What?”

“I’ve been here for five minutes,” Betty said, her voice sharp.  “Did you not hear anything (Y/N) or I said?”

“Oh,” Jughead sighed. “I did it again.  I’m sorry, (Y/N).  What were you trying to say?”

Betty started, “She was trying to tell you that she-”

“Has cheerleading practice tomorrow,” I interrupted Betty.  “I have cheerleading practice tomorrow, and it’s gonna go pretty late, so I can’t meet you here tomorrow.”  Betty cast me a disapproving glare, but softened when I looked at her sadly. Jughead, although usually clever and observant, did not notice this exchange.

“Okay,” he said, “that’s fine.  You’ll still meet me here on Saturday though, right?”  I bit my lip, contemplating making up an excuse.  Quickly, I looked to Betty for approval.  She subtly nodded.

“Yeah of course,” I agreed cheerily.  “Saturday.” Jughead smiled and nodded.  I stood up and Betty followed suit, and we both exited the diner.  Once we got outside, Betty stopped and turned to look at me.

“What was that?” she whisper-yelled.  

“I don’t know,” I groaned. “It happened on Tuesday, too.  He never seems to hear me.”

“But you’re gonna try again, though,” she said.  “Right?”

“I- I don’t know,” I sighed, and began walking.  Betty followed suit.  “I guess I’ll try again, but I don’t know, maybe it’s not meant to be.”

“Not meant to be?” Betty repeated.  “(Y/N), you and Jughead are, as Kevin likes to say, endgame!”  I laughed at the terminology and shrugged, unable to think of a reply.  “Please try, at least one more time.”

I assured her, “I’ll try.”


Two weeks later, I stood at my locker with Veronica and Betty.  Angrily, I slammed my locker closed and then leaned up against it.

“It’s pointless!” I groaned, lightly banging my head against the locker.  “For two weeks I’ve tried, two whole weeks!  Every day, I go into Pop’s and tell myself, ‘This is the day.’ Then I sit with him, build up the courage, and I tell him.  And every day, he doesn’t hear me.  Every fucking day!”  Veronica and Betty both shook their heads.

“I can’t believe him,” Veronica seethed.  “That’s ridiculous, he has to have heard you at least once.  He’s not deaf.”  Betty nodded in agreement.

“Just try talking to him without his laptop,” Betty suggested.  “Make sure that he has no distractions, just you and him.”  

“Thank you,” I smiled. “I’ll definitely do that tonight at Pop’s.”

“Why do it tonight,” Veronica drawled, looking past me, “when you can do it now?”  I turned around to see Jughead down the hallway.

“Oh no,” I whined.  “Not now, not here.”

Ignoring my objections, Veronica called out, “Jughead!”  He looked at us and nodded, walking over to where we stood.

“Hey,” he greeted, leaning against the lockers next to me.

“Hi,” I smiled, twiddling with my fingers.  Betty and Veronica exchanged smirks and edged away from us, still remaining within earshot. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while and-”

“I know,” Jughead interrupted me.  “And I never hear you.  I know, I’m sorry.”  I nodded, licking my lips.

“Yeah, it’s okay, I just feel like I should tell you now, while I know I have your attention.” Jughead laughed lightly.  “I… I like you, Jughead.  More than friends.”  Jughead’s eyes widened and I stopped.  Every time he remained quiet at Pop’s I kept going, but now I stopped, not knowing how to continue.

“You like me?” he asked. “And you’ve been trying to tell me for two weeks?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.  He rubbed his face.

“Jesus,” he sighed.  “I’m an ass.”

“No, you’re not,” I told him.  “I just- if you don’t feel the same way it’s fine, but please don’t let this ruin our friendship.  I couldn’t live with myself if-”

“(Y/N),” he interrupted again, “I like you, too.”

when i tell people i want to spend the rest of my life with you
they think i mean that i plan on marrying you
but i have no plans on getting down on one knee for you
my plans with you include holding your hand as we walk through life together
my plans include being your friend
your best friend
as you are mine
after all
we don’t need rings and a piece of paper to prove our commitment to one another
we just need love.
—  Anonymous said: hi! could you please write something on platonic love?
(cc, 2017)
The tragic story of too much info about the sexual relationship of your best friends or why Alya will forever regret trying to kill Adrien

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lunian !!!!!!! Remember when we talked about this? Well, I couldn’t resist writing it. I hope you’ll like it. Crack ahead. And if the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, this has some sexual references in it. Nothing happens, but many are said.


“ADRIEN FUCKING DEAD AGRESTE!”

All the people who were still in the courtyard of the Collège Françoise Dupont run for the hills (or in this case, the school building) as Alya Césaire appeared and walked towards her best friend’s boyfriend with all the might of a storm.

“Dude, I think she means you.” Nino stage-whispered to his best friend as his girlfriend made a beeline towards them.

“But my middle name is Bartholomé.” Adrien argued.

Nino rolled his eyes. His best friend really needed to set his priorities straight. “That’s what worries you?”

Adrien gulped. “Burry me in a polka dotted coffin, please.”

Nino was under the impression he wasn’t kidding in the slightest. “Sure, if there is anything left to bury.”

“There won’t be!” Alya snarled as she lifted Adrien by the neck.

Well, this morning is certainly bound to be interesting, Nino thought.


One day, Marinette will be on time to school. One day. Today wasn’t that day. As Marinette speed walked through the school yard she couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, Adrien was being strangled by Alya… wait a second.

“Alya!” Marinette shouted, rushing towards them. “Put him down.”

Her best friend was obviously not happy to have to delay her murder. Meanwhile, Nino considered if he should stop filming the whole thing. If Marinette was here, then maybe there won’t be need of proof for the police for a murder. Though, let’s be real, he would never turn his girlfriend in. He would have just posted the video on YouTube in his collection of An Infinity of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Alya Off. If he was recalling correctly, this video would be number 2749.

“Alya, what is going on? Why are you strangling my boyfriend.” Marinette questioned crossing her arms, while Adrien was gasping for air on the ground.

“Marinette,“ Alya’s tone was regretful and the sad look in her eyes indicated something bad was coming. “I’m sorry to say this honey, but he is cheating on you.”

And in that moment, Marinette felt her whole world crashing down. “What?! With whom?”

Marinette was dying to hear that answer. Who? Did Adrien really cheat on her? Was it some rabid fangirl who jumped at his bones and Alya just got the wrong impression?

Alya sighed. “With Ladybug.”

Marinette blinked. “Damn.” both her and Adrien whispered maybe a little too loudly. Thus Adrien choked, cause he still didn’t regain his proper breathing.

“That’s… unexpected.” Marinette managed to say, trying to think of something plausible to get them out of this situation. She knew it was a bad idea to make out when only one of them was transformed. Damn Adrien and his filthy thirst for her spots. “It isn’t a problem, though, cause… um… this is… an… open… relationship.”

Oh well, not the worst excuse she could have had come with. Alya crossed her arms obviously expecting an explanation while Nino muttered a ‘dude’ under his breath. That’s when Adrien decided to be a supportive boyfriend.

“Yeah. Marinette has her fun times with Ladybug too,” he said, raising his index finger as if that would help him make a point while he was still laying on the ground.

Why is he like this? Marinette sighed internally.

Alya turned to Marinette with an expression that was a mix of shock and anger. “You are hooking up with Ladybug and you didn’t tell me?!”

Marinette glared down at Adrien, who looked sheepish. “Yeah. And don’t forget about Chat Noir.”

“Chat Noir?” both Alya and Nino screamed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” Marinette stated, looking at Adrien, who finally picked himself off the ground, with a mischievous look. “Why don’t you tell us about your escapades with Chat Noir, Adrien?”

Her boyfriend laughed nervously. “What escapade do you mean?”

Marinette smirked. “Well, you did tell me that Chat Noir found you wearing cute yet sexy Ladybug lingerie.”

At this point, Nino had to turn off his camera, unable to hold his phone anymore. “Dudeeeee.”

Alya, to everybody’s surprise, was silent until now. But there was as much as the shock could keep her from asking. "But what about Ladybug?”

“Oh, she thinks the same” Marinette replied calmly while analyzing her nails.

“No, no, I mean, I thought Chat only loves her.”

“Oh that… well, who can resist this model ass?” she asked rhetorically while slapping Adrien’s ass for emphasis. Nino nodded vigorously as well. Honestly, wasn’t it universal knowledge everybody loved Adrien’s ass?

Adrien glared at Marinette. Not for smacking his ass, mind you. He loved getting his ass smacked by her. But for making fun of his taste in lingerie. Well, if this is how she wanted to play, so be it then. “Of course. So if we are discussing this topic, why don’t you mention that time when Chat caught you wearing lingerie inspired by his outfit?”

’Well, don’t try hiding the fact that once you begged Ladybug to tie you with her yoyo.“ Marinette scoffed, trying to hide her blush. That had been an interesting night.

"I need a bucket,” Alya muttered, not sure what to think of her friends and her idol anymore.

“YOU CALLED CHAT NOIR’S DICK AS A BATON!” Adrien shouted louder than necessary, while blushing.

“I guess, I need one too” Nino said, wishing he will just forget everything that had been said so far. And from now on, because apparently Marinette and Adrien weren’t done.

“Remember when you told Chat Noir that you want a collar with a bell too?”

“Oh, really Marinette, should I remind you that one time when I walked on you and Ladybug and you were blindfolded?”

Nino glanced at Alya. “Are we kink shaming them now or later?”

“Then you asked us if you can be blindfolded instead and, I quote ‘used as your little sex toy’.” that had been a strange day. She had an urge to blindfold herself, Adrien came over unannounced and things escalated quickly and she discovered some new kinks of her boyfriend.

“I guess, if we die right here, right this second, they wouldn’t notice it.” Nino states, but Alya was unable to reply anymore, not sure what to make out of this whole conversation.

“You begged Chat Noir to slap you with his tail belt.” Adrien argued back, while his face was putting any ripe tomato to shame.

Marinette screeched. “YOU WERE WEARING MY FAVORITE PINK STOCKINGS.”

“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.”

"I’m sure it totally does.”

Adrien scoffed, crossing his arms. “But you can deny they suit me.” he knew she liked them. She even said so that night. They had been a little tight, but she had made him a matching pair better fit for his height.

"Jesus, how many moments like this do they have?” Nino questioned, clearly shocked by how kinky his bro was. And he was sort of afraid fo the answer, if he had to be honest.

“What’s more important, why are we still listening to this mess?” it was Alya’s turn to ask questions that will never get answers. “I’m not even sure if I want to use this thing as blackmail or just erase it from my brain forever.”

“To be honest, it would be much better if Adrien really just cheated on Mari with Ladybug,” Nino said hesitantly, obviously scared of Alya’s reaction. “I mean, I wouldn’t have forgiven him if he ever did that, but at least, in that case, us, innocent bystanders wouldn’t have to be traumatized for life.”

Alya could only nod. Honestly, the mental picture fo Adrien in Ladybug themed lingerie left her with brain damage.

After what seemed like an eternity Adrien and Marinette finished their not so little argument, both huffing and as red in the face as the surface of Mars. Not that anybody would say that out loud, given how much of a nerd Adrien is, he would come with some science facts about the color of the surface of Mars.
.
“So yeah, we have an open relationship.” Marinette concluded, the two of them finally turning to their best friends.

“We got it after the reminder about Chat Noir, thank you.” Nino said, sarcastically.

“Now get outta of my sight, my poor brain had dealt enough with your kinks for now and forever.” Alya ordered waving her hand desperately while rubbing her temple with her free hand.

“Well, if you didn’t want to kill me, none of this would have happened.” Adrien said with a smug smirk.

Alya snarled. "Next time neither Marinette or even fucking Ladybug won’t stop me, Agreste.”

Adrien gulped. Marinette slapped him compassionately on the ass.

A Roaring Good Time

(I’m the DM of my group, we’re all inexperienced. I’m figuring out what we’ll need.)

Me: Okay, so I don’t have any figurines, BUT I have dinosaurs.

Friend: So does that mean i can have a level 5 velociraptor lightning mage, with extra points in charisma?

Me: ….

Friend: Or a level 7 troodon paladin, sworn to serve the saurian goddess of truth and light?

Me: *Laughing quite a bit*

Friend: Please let me make a spino bard. Please.

Me: Spino Bard: “Lemme sing you the song of murder”

*Both of us lose it, all group members say hell yes to the dinosaur substitutes.*

Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen


Here’s the first part of a fic- AU where Bitty and Jack meet for the first time at the EpicKegster. 

Note that the second part of this is not written yet, and I’m crushed under my to-do list, so don’t expect it soon and please don’t ask when the next part will come, I don’t know. But I wanted to share this with y’all, so I hope you enjoy. 

I apologise for errors, typos or weird sentence structure, all my editing power is and will be concentrated on my own novel, so ha. 

pairings and warnings: pretty much what you get from the canon





Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loud thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscathed. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding his phone.

Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

‘You’re crying.’

The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

‘What’s her name?’

‘Whose name?’

‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

He burst into tears.

Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

‘Dude, what’d’you do to him?’

‘Nothing!’

‘D’you break up with him or something?’

‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

‘Like what?’

‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’

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10 AUs

1. “We have the same favorite book, and we always check it out from the library. We’ve never met, but the librarians are starting to ship us, and are coming up with ridiculous excuses for us to meet.”

2. “My dog absolutely adores you, and you absolutely adore my dog. Whenever we see each other, the two of you play for a good half-hour, at least. That’s great and all, but what’s your name?”

3. “I was planning on proposing to the person I was dating, but then, I found out they were cheating on me. They don’t know I know, and you suggest I go ahead and go through with it, with a slight twist: I propose to YOU, instead.”

4. “We’re both shopping for the same obscure item. This is the fifth store I’ve seen you at… Want to join forces?”

5. “I’m an actor, and part of my costume is a wedding ring, but I totally forgot I was wearing it. Now you’re yelling at me for flirting with you, and I have no clue how to get a word in edgewise to explain.”

6. “There’s only one bag of my favorite candy left, and you’re about to put it in your cart. Please don’t, seriously. I’ve had an awful week, and I need my candy fix.”

7. “I’ve never actually met the person my sibling is going to marry, but you’re always there at the wedding planning, so I just assumed it was you. But now you’re asking me out? And you’re actually the future spouse’s best friend? Oh, wow, I was not expecting that.”

8. “If you hug me, I will stab you-Oh, my gosh. You aren’t my best friend, you’re a stranger, and you look slightly terrified of me now. Please don’t call the police, I’m not actually going to stab anyone.”

9. “I passed out in a public place, and you sat with me for several hours to make sure no one harassed me? That is both sweet and strange.”

10. “We’re neighbors, and you always hear me screaming about my cooking disasters, and swoop in to save me. I probably should start paying you, honestly.”

Suga Daddy: Part 8

Suga Daddy: 8

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: angst, dirty talk, language 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi tells you about his past but is terrified of how you’ll take it.

This came a little early than expected. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading.

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven 

Everything felt like it was playing out and slow-motion and all you were doing was twirling the flowers in your hand. You were nauseated and your mind was racing with every possible scenario. You knew that Yoongi couldn’t have a squeaky clean record. Especially with his attitude and the way he talked to you sometimes. For some reason you still loved him, despite that.

Keep reading

The Superhero War #2
  • Somewhere in the depths of MARVEL obession, Stony fans: AAHH NO WE NEED MORE CA:CW FIX IT FICS COMON GUYS DAMNIT THIS CANNOT BE THE END
  • Stucky shippers: MUAHAHAHA, WE CANNOT BE STOPPED, LET US MURDER STONY UNTIL IT IS LYING DEAD AND FORSAKEN
  • WinterIron shippers: Damnit I know we're not popular but get Steve out of the picture please
  • Stuckony shippers: One third hates the other two, and they hate him back. HAhaha oh my god are we on a submarine
  • People who don't ship any of them with each other: WILL YOU JERKS SHUT UP ABOUT THOSE THREE AND STOP ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER
  • [This has been a PSA. Please let's just give each other a hug and agree that whoever they're with they deserve to be happy, okey? I'M LOOKING AT YOU MY IRL FRIENDS JFC]
whale emoji review

a comprehensive ranking of my favorite girls

a soft girl! lots of gradients but at least they didn’t shade with black. would call her a friend! 4/5

very minimalist, which is an intriguing design choice, but doesn’t work for our friend the whale. also i can’t tell if that’s a mouth or a mustache 2/5

microsoft why do you feel the need to outline everything with thick black lines. also no whale should bend in that manner. 1/5 you’re hurting her

a small girl! she looks like she could use a friend. please befriend her 4/5

a very realistic lady! she looks like she has been at her breeding grounds for a long time with her calf. they’ll be ready to go to the feeding grounds soon! 5/5

a sperm whale, albeit with some artistic license in coloring! she looks like she’s not having fun. why is she sad? 3/5 please let her smile

a blue whale! thank you facebook for drawing attention to this endangered species. she just wants to eat krill and have a good time. 4/5 save her friends!

another blue whale, this time a little darker! she looks like she has just taken a mouth full of krill. good for her! 4/5

a cheeky girl…she’s going to steal ur krill 1/5 why is she teal

see apple this is how you do a tasteful gradient 5/5

Giroud & Ramsey

.. Yeah because we love them and can’t get enough of them ❤

right?  @thegametheboysandthearsenal 

Feel free to add more pictures and gifs! 

Originally posted by thomasmxller

Originally posted by bionicoli

Originally posted by arsyong

awwww, Aaron is so giggly *v*  #thegiroudeffect

Originally posted by pppper

Originally posted by pppper

can we pleasee take a minute to remember this!! (ft. welbz) 

Originally posted by aslgal8

Originally posted by shkodranmustafi

Lol, Aaron trying to look pretty while Oli is getting ready  “dancing” ? 

Originally posted by bionicoli

Originally posted by itsaporcupine

Originally posted by meeniemint

Originally posted by shkodranmustafi

Originally posted by itsaporcupine

Originally posted by wojshere

Originally posted by oliviergiroudd

mmmmm….. and then this happened …. ?? i need answers 

Originally posted by tjgoalshie

Is it too obvious that i LOVE them TOO MUCH! ❤❤❤