i need a moment to get my life together

Addicts

I realize now why Kurt contain used heroin. Not only him but every heroin user. Looking back on my use and the people that use(d) around me, I can only say one thing- it’s okay.

It’s okay to want to not feel anything for a while. It’s okay to want to be numb and forget what is happening in this world and what is happening in your life. It’s okay to take a moment to yourself and just breathe and relax and get yourself together. But you don’t need heroin to do it.

For me, I did for a while. I thought I needed this drug to be my companion in life. I was in love with a guy who was in love with another girl and basically dragged me along for his own amusement or for god knows what reasons.. I was attending college and struggling with my dyslexia and couldn’t perform the necessary skills to complete the homework or tests. I was unemployed. I felt worthless and the only meaningful thing in my life was heroin.

I used when I went to college for the most part. It made classes more tolerable. And I used at night. Because I couldn’t sleep without some horrible thought crossing my mind and making me depressed.

I don’t use now. And I have been clean since November of last year.

I am proud. I am happy. But the same problems I was having are still happening. And I don’t want to be numb. I want to feel them as strong as I can. Because I want to tell my future clients I help, that I did it. And that they can too.

Please seek help if you are an addict. You are so much more than a label. You are a person. And I want to see you succeed.

I just really needed to ramble tonight.

6

“I respect the secrets and magic of nature. That’s why it makes me so angry when I see these things that are happening, ya know. And every second, I hear the size of a football field is torn down in the Amazon. I mean, that kind of stuff really bothers me. That’s why I write these kind of songs, ya know. Gives them sense of awareness and awakening and hope to people.~Michael Jackson on Earth Song

My attributes when meeting all the Zodiac signs as a Libra.
  • Taurus:only gets along with me when they're not moody, just needs me when they don't have anybody else doing their work for them, but sometimes likes to listen to me because how helpful I am. Still grateful to see them even when we can be both stubborn.
  • Scorpios:literally don't need my help, gets kinda annoyed if they don't know what I'm saying, listening, or doing.
  • Libras:only need me to weigh back their scales and involving the terrible life stories we talk about. Their charm is something I don't mind seeing every day.
  • Cancer:people only like sharing our feelings together and cracking smiles, keeping each other close somehow is hard work, but we always manage to have a good time anyways.
  • Leo:is my supporter and somehow tries to cheer me up even though we can have moments where we both have the same problem but managing it by having some drinks so we forget.
  • Aries:loves me when I'm there for them. They enjoy being around someone different.
  • Capricorn:is great for sharing my bond towards them but overall debating or bringing up something that ticks them off can be a waste of time. I like letting things go.
  • Gemini:needs me for their next opinion or a time where we both keep each other busy. Always makes me laugh my ass off.
  • Aquarius:likes catching up with my intellect and learning my emotions, but likes to talk smack to show they care for my life.
  • Sagittarius:is always there for me when I'm holding so many words in my mind, and bonding our awkward problems or feelings in general.
  • Pisces:are gifted to see me for a time to remember, always happy to see me. Seeing each other usually takes awhile.
  • Virgos:are great at setting up my future and helping me through confusing times whenever I need them. Always loves to drink and have fun when I'm around. There for me if I need them when I'm going through hard times.

anonymous asked:

for the shipping meme: jerza, korrasami, hollstein and mikayuu (don't do all of them if you don't want to)

THAT’S TOTALLY FINE ANON THANKS FOR ASKING

I’ll put everything under the cut


FIRST JERZA, BC THEY’RE MY OTP OF EVERYTHING AND ALWAYS COME BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE

  • when I started shipping it if I did:
    seeing them in the same panel was enough
  • my thoughts:
    OTP of my life. OTP of OTPs. Soulmates. I SHIP THEM
    SO
    FUCKING
    MUCH
    THEY’RE MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I WAKE UP AND THE LAST WHEN I GO TO SLEEP
    THEY’RE SOULMATES AND NEED TO BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY
  • What makes me happy about them:
    I DON’T KNOW, HONESTLY, IT’S MAINLY ETERNAL SUFFERING BC THEY NEVER GET A MOMENT AND FANARTS AND GOOD FICS BUT
    WHEN THEY DO
    I’M THE HAPPYEST PERSON IN THE WORLD
  • What makes me sad about them:
    I don’t even know where to start.
    Like, everything. They don’t get enogh moments, love, fanarts and fanfics, and they deserve more. And they suffered far too much. They deserve to be happy and canon, but they aren’t, and it kills me
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me:
    Too OOC. Jelly has no spine and is a coward and/or erza is too often portrayed as the typical shoujo girl in love.
  • things I look for in fanfic:
    Good fics w good plot and no OOC
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
    N O
  • My happily ever after for them:
    JUST THEM BEING TOGETHER AND BEING HAPPY AND FREE W 30+ BABIES
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon:
    they switch ;)
  • what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
    ONCE AGAIN, JUST THEM BEING TOGETHER AND DOING RLLY NORMAL SILLY THINGS BC THEY’VE BOTH BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SO THEY ENJOY TRANQUILLITY AND TREASURE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT SPENT WITH EACH OTHER

now on with KORRASAMI

  • when I started shipping it if I did:
    Ok so book 2 was airing and everyone was fighting over m@korra and m@asami and I was here without having watched a single episode thinking:”god the two girls should ditch that jerk and get together”
  • my thoughts:
    OTP. ACTUALLY MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. POWER COUPLE. CANON BISEXUAL WOMEN OF COLOUR. I’M STILL CRYING. I WILL FOREVER CRY.
    JUST
    BLESS THEM
  • What makes me happy about them:
    EVERYTHING TBH
  • What makes me sad about them:
    ship wars. both ks and mk fans being immature shits. disgusting adult porn. yeah.
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me:
    Once again, I just can’t stand OOC
  • things I look for in fanfic:
    IC with good plot (there’s luckily plenty, the ks fandom has hella good writers ~)
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
    hahahahah lol nope
  • My happily ever after for them:
    that has already happened <3
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon:
    most of the times korra is the big spoon
  • what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
    idek actually, but I think they love to cuddle and just stay together and being dorks in love and iafjdnkialdkjdiausklj going ON TURTLEDUCKS DATE NIGHTS

ok on WITH HOLLSTEIN (CRIES FOREVER)

  • when I started shipping it if I did:
    seeing their kiss all over the dashboard.
    Even if I didn’t see it, it was over the moment carmilla walked in
  • my thoughts:
    Honestly, I’m too busy crying over the last episode and I have my heart broken in milion pieces and idek I love them so much and I want both of them to be happy and I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE DOMESTIC FLUFF
  • What makes me happy about them:
    RIGHT NOW, NOTHING
  • What makes me sad about them:
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me:
    FUCKING OOC OK
  • things I look for in fanfic:
    THEM BEING IC AND GOOD NOT CLICHE-D PLOTS
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
    STOP IT I’M CRYING TOO MUCH
  • My happily ever after for them:
    I JUST WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon:
    CARM IS THE BIG SPOON
  • what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
    SI L L Y   DOM E STI C FL U FF

AND FINALLY, MIKAYUU

  • when I started shipping it if I did:
    Like, the very first second they appeared in the anime.
    It was OTP at first sight
  • my thoughts:
    I pray every night they won’t die. Also, fuck yeah gay vampires/angels/whatever
    They love each other AND THEY FUCKING NEED TO BE TOGETHER AND FUCK THE LAST CHAPTER KILLED ME AND I’M NOT OK
    B YE
  • What makes me happy about them:
    SO MANY FANARTS AND FANFICS AND EVERYONE SHIPS THEM GOD BLESS
  • What makes me sad about them:
    THE ANIME, THE MANGA, THEIR STORY
    GOD THEY MAKE ME CRY SO MUCH
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me:
    nothing in the ones I’ve read
  • things I look for in fanfic:
    I sadly don’t have time to read ff of every OTP, but if I did, I’d look for happy fluff
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
    THEY’RE SOULMATES
    FIGHT ME
  • My happily ever after for them:
    GOD PLEASE JUST LET THEM SURVIVE THIS SHIT AND BE TOGETHER WITH THEIR FAMILY AND DON’T LET THEM SUFFER ANYMORE
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon:
    Y u U chaN is the lil spoon
  • what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
    Spending time with their family doing random things? idek
Duncan Kane’s Greatest Hits (5/?): Excessive Self-Loathing is Not One of Duncan’s More Notable Faults

[Previous Entry: Duncan Kane’s Greatest Hits (4/?): A Not-So-Wicked Impression (Worst. Mister Burns. Ever.)]

I’ve missed our wonderful Donut and his Greatest Hits. So let’s get back to it with a doozy from his classic dream the “Ahoy Mateys.” We don’t even need to get into the whole hilarious Madonna/Whore thing, let’s just stick with the Meg that Duncan’s unconscious conjures up for him. What does she say?

On the bus, my life didn’t flash before me. You did. Our first kiss. The last perfect moment we had together. Remember? On the beach.

Remember, this is not Meg. This is Duncan’s unconscious. And Duncan’s unconscious is telling him that the last thing that flashed before Meg’s eyes before she went into the coma was him. Aaron Echolls is impressed with the narcissism. 

No question, this one earns not three, not four, but FIVE “I Got the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand” eyebrow waggles. Way to go! You are The MAN, Donut!

Excuse me while I rant for a minute, im losing my mind at thee moment.

I FUCKED UP. Like again. Im a human. We actually all do it, quite often! Yet it seems no fucking matter thee reasoing or story around it. I cam never be forgiven for my mistakes, they are held over me.
Annd in over it!
Im fucking trying to damn hard to hold myself together. Ether stand beside me, or get the fuck out of my life and never come back.
I dont need nor want false relationships in my life. They are juat to much fucking work to keep up with!

Lately I’ve been struggling for the right words to describe how I feel at this moment
So I won’t try to be overly poetic about this, I’m just going to be honest
I miss you, I need you in my life
I’ve been sleepless at night
I stare at my phone hoping that your name pops up in response to my messages
But I guess your silence is the message, right?
So if you’re going to exit from my life, I guess
I might as well get these last few things off of my chest
Maybe I was wrong to think that we belong together
Or maybe I was wrong to confess it all in a letter
And send it halfway across the world with a stamp that would change this all forever
I can’t help but be crazy for you
I’m in love with everything that you do
I love the way that you make a conscious effort everyday to make the world a better place
I love that you are always walking around with a genuine smile on your face
I love the way you look for the good in everything, while most people only see the bad
I love that you can see the potential in anybody, despite the past that they’ve had
I love the way you bring joy to every day and every night
I love the way that you light up my dark life
But if you’re so set on leaving it
I might just need to get used to this darkness

anonymous asked:

I just realized. After reading your last STA, I've been spending most of my days existing in this world. It's really sad tbh. But then again I came to think that the times when we really feel like we are living become so precious to us. The times where we feel that we are living in the moment become precious memories to us. Idk, I feel so sad all of a sudden. I need to get my life together. Aigoo~

Hey~ don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure all of us had those days when we felt like we’re just merely existing on this plain. It’s hard not to, to be honest; considering that life keeps us as busy as we can be and it’s difficult not to fall into a routine of just getting things done.  

I just hope that you, and everyone else here, would take a break once in a while and look around–enjoy your surroundings. When was the last time you watched the sunrise? Or stopped and smelt the flowers? :P It may all seem quite ridiculous to do but this can really help you get back into tune; to help you realize your purpose again and the reason why you’re here…

Which is to live and make the most out of the life given to you. :) 

-Kaye Allen

Ok…I need to step away from my computer for a moment…well leave the sims alone. My aggravation with not being able to play just caused me to delete my entire mods folder (after I accidentally restored a few hundred deleted files an hour ago). I was simply trying to delete one stinking file. Thank god for the recycle bin. Sim requests WILL be fulfilled ASAP, I just need to get my life together before I delete my whole damn operating system smh

“My happiest moment? Probably when I graduated high school and knew I didn’t have to go to school all day, five days a week any more.”

Do you consider yourself a good student?
“Yeah, when I actually have my stuff together. High school was hard for me. Probably because I didn’t put forth as much effort as I needed to actually be studious.”

Is that changing now that you’re in college?
“It is. I realize that if I don’t get good grades, I can’t get a good job. It’s kind of hard to enjoy life without a good job.”

— Kyle, who is studying accounting

Instead of starting Friends over I decided to just start with when they all go to London cause I JUST NEED MONICA AND CHANDLER GETTING TOGETHER IN MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT

archiveofourown.org
Down Time and Bad Advice - Chapter 1 - Vmello - Borderlands [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Borderlands
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Axton/Zer0
Characters: Axton, Moxxi, Mad Moxxie, Maya (Borderlands), Salvador (Borderlands), Zer0
Additional Tags: In which Axton Maya and Sal get together at MoXXXi’s to gossip between missions, Mostly about Axton’s crush, Rare Pairings, Crushes
Summary:

This will be a series of drabbles set as laid back moments in MoXXXi’s. Mostly focusing on Axton having a crush on Zer0 and everyone else yelling at him to do something about it.

anonymous asked:

I hate that theirs a stigma around the age of self garners and that it's a "moody teenage" thing that they eventually grow out of. I'm 26 and I still struggle with self harm anxiety and depression and I'm going to get help for my addiction problem. But it seems like I should be ashamed of all this and be a adult that has their shit together by now and their whole life sorted. Sorry needed to vent a bit but I have no one to talk to at the moment.

I can assure you that you are not alone with this. 

I have a friend that is turning 40 this year (she is bpd) and still has bouts of struggling with self harm, and still struggles with her disorder a lot. Me and Adrienne are 21 and still are wrestling with our issues. We’ve had quite a few anon’s and non-anon messages about people in their 20′s deal with self harm, even people that look more “adult” becuase they have families and jobs etc. 

I also know people that didn’t get a college degree an “real” job until they were 27. I have so many friends your age that are still struggling. Sure I’m only 21, but like… I still fight with my disorders, haven’t been to Uni yet, hell I just got a job flipping burgers as my first official job if you don’t count sporadic freelance art. 

On the flip side I know so many people that look like the have their shit together and are successful… but man they are a hot mess. Some people are just better at… being able to shove their disorder to the side and do things. They are still suffering of course, and it’s not inherently better that they have this ability, but the point is that people of your/our age still are fighting with these things and its okay

It’s okay. 

You are alone in this. 

~Devin

(if older folk want to sound off in the tags, that’d be awesome. I know there are a few 20+ people here)

Happy birthday to this crazy girl! 😂 literally every picture I have of us on my phone, we’re half naked 😂 ever since you came back home from Hawaii, we’ve gotten closer than ever and have taken our friendship to new levels 😂😂😂 (my “woof” tan needs to be redone btw). It’s always trouble when it’s us two together… 😈👯 I love you more than you realize and ever since high school I’ve been blessed to have you here for me, even during the toughest moments of my life! This week has been weird but we’re understanding each other better and better… We’ll be alright! 😘 We’re gonna be the same age for a few weeks so let’s get CRAZY 😈 #ATasteOfTupua 🌺 #AlwaysAtTheBeach #TropicalRedbull #ProfessionalDancers 😂 #SasaMasters 👏🏼

anonymous asked:

Dear girl I like: we are best friends (have been for a very very long time) and I love every moment we spend together and I just want to hold you and kiss you but I can't. I'm scared to tell you because I am also a girl and no one knows I'm bisexual so for now I will continue to cherish our friendship and I love you and want you in my life forever whether it be romantically or platonically.

I know I was supposed to send something for you to write the letter but I needed to get that out about the girl I like

it’s totally cool! but hey i hope u and that girl end up together!

#Goals

Because I need a moment to get my shit together. 

School goals –  Higher grades than last semester (I want 3.4 to be my lowest grade). Get my comment published. Get out of the opening round of mock trial.

Job goals – Find something in Seattle, or closer to where John’s stationed. Actively pursue a professional network in the area.

Life goals –Train for a 5k. Go to the gym at least 3x a week. Log calories every day (regardless of whether or not its a good day). Sunday = yoga day.