How we made our DM hate our classes pt. 1
I was a half orc monk in the Ways of the Wicked pathfinder game run by a friend who was a two years above me in college. After avoiding it for about a year, the group finally decides to assault the fort we were sent to take down. I had failed a disguise check (we were given rings that allowed disguise self to be used at will) to look like a guard captain in front of another captain, and ended up alone on a rooftop with him. He would turn out to be the boss of the fort, complete with magic sword and plate armor.
DM: The captain pulls his sword on you and asks who you are. What do you do?
Me: I want to disarm him with my mouth.
DM: … Ok, Roll CMB
DM: Ok, you rip the sword out of his hands with your mouth and toss it off the building. What now?
Me: How far is it to the walls around the fort?
DM: *checks* About 30 feet down and 20 feet away.
Me: Alright, I’m going to disguise myself as Malf (an npc gunslinger that nearly killed me earlier in the campaign) and jump to the nearest wall.
DM: Really? Not going to… Fine, roll acrobatics.
ME: *rolls 19* That’s 30 total.
DM: HOW!? You need a running start to…
ME: +11 acrobatics and monks have high jump at this level. I always count as having a running start.
DM: DAMN MONKS AND THEIR CRAZY ACROBATICS! Fine, you effortlessly jump across the gap and do a sick roll to land. Roll 3d6 for damage.
ME: Nope, slow fall 30 ft. No damage.
DM: *bangs head on laptop* I hate monks.