i mustache you to stop youre killing me

Groupie Love

Summary: After approving a road trip with Peter, Bucky & Sam, it turns out to be the best agreement you ever made. 

Word Count: 3,237. (not even sorry)

A/N: Look who’s ba-ba-ba-ba-back again. I’m coming in hot with this fresh new (and good grammar!!!) fic, and let me tell you guys that this one was an absolute blast to write. Hope you enjoy! (ps: go buy lana del rey’s new album “lust for life” on itunes)

Originally posted by tomshollandss

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KUNG FURY starters

  • “Hey, you got a permit for those guns?”
  • “Catchy tune.”
  • “Yeah, that’s my bicep.”
  • “We got an arcade machine down here going crazy, it is killing everybody, it’s destruction, chaos, terror—”
  • “I’m a cop and damn good at my job.”
  • “It all began years ago. In the line of duty, me and my partner were chasing down a mysterious Kung-Fu master.”
  • “You’re like a father to me.”
  • “Before I could pull the trigger I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra.”
  • “There was an ancient prophecy, about a new form of Kung Fu so powerful, only one man could master it. The chosen one.”
  • “Knock knock. Who’s there? Knuckles.”
  • “I decided I would use my new super Kung Fu powers to fight crime.”
  • “You just destroyed an entire city block for Christ’s sake.”
  • “Cut the bullshit. Nobody else could have stopped that arcade machine and you know it.”
  • “You need to start following the rules like the rest of us.”
  • “Say hi to your new partner, Triceracop.”
  • “Give me the phone.”
  • “Is this the police?”
  • “Fuck you!”
  • “I need someone to trace that call!”
  • “Hackerman, he’s the most powerful hacker of all time.”
  • “I guess he figured if he could find and kill the chosen one, he would become Kung Fury himself.”
  • “He must have traveled in time in order to get here, that’s probably why he disappeared.”
  • “I need some sort of time machine.”
  • “With the right algorithms, I can hack you back in time.”
  • “Well then, it’s hacking time.”
  • “Fuck! I went too far back in time.”
  • “I’m a cop from the future.”
  • “Check out my pecs.”
  • “Your pecs are epic.”
  • “Stop! Hammer time.”
  • “Your mustache looks shit. You have to get rid of it.”
  • “I’m the greatest Kung Fu master of all time, right guys?”
  • “Nothing can stop me and my army of death.”
  • “I hacked away all your bullet wounds.”
  • “We are not so different, you and I. I mean we both got good style, you know?”
  • “Join me, we could be brothers, we are so alike.”
  • “It’s almost like we finish each other’s…”
  • “Sorry I doubted you. You’re the best damn partner I’ve ever had.”
  • “Team work is very important.”
Teased

@mckenziesimpson Baekhyun smut

Author: Admin M

Character(s): Baekhyun (EXO)/Reader

Word Count: 881

Summary: It’s always fun to tease your boyfriend, right?

“Babe stop.” I whined pushing Baekhyun back in he’s seat. 

“Come on. I will be fun.” He gave me those stupid puppy dog eyes.

“Ugh fine but make it quick.” Baekhyun leaned over my seat to the plane’s window seat where Chanyeol was sleeping. He got his marker out and lightly began to draw on his face. 

“Done.” He smirked. I looked over and he had drawn a curly pencil mustache on his upper lip. 

“You are so childish.” 

“That’s just a part of my charm baby.” He winked.

The plane ride was long and it was late at night. Most of the passengers where asleep already. Including me. I had fallen on Baekhyun’s shoulder. He enjoyed the scent of my new shampoo. He gently laid his head on mine. Smiling at the fact he was back with me once more. 

It has been a while since I’ve seen Baekhyun. He was traveling for his work and I happened to surprise him on one of his concerts. We were currently flying back to Seoul. Then the bumps and turbulence began to happen. 

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Wilford’s assistant - Part 1?

I was devastated. He left me here, alone.
I hate him. I want him to die.
« And now, for the news : the famous journalist Wilford Warfstache is visiting the town to search for contestants for his new show, so if you’re interested, you can go to the mall to see him ! And now for the weather. Jim ? »
I turn the TV off. Wilford Warfstache, huh ? That could be an idea…
I put on my shoes and my jacket, and head out of the apartment.
I want revenge, and if I have to go through terrible means to get it, then so be it. He won’t get away with what he did to me.
The mall is five minutes away, so I’m there really quick.
He’s so easy to spot in this crowd, it’s just ridiculously obvious. I head towards him.
« Mister Warfstache ?
- Yes, that is me. »
His pink mustache is shining and his grin is one of curiosity.
« I would like your help.
- Do you want to take part of my show, young girl ?
- No, I want you to kill someone for me.
- Pardon me ?
- You heard me right. Kill someone for me, please. »
His shocked face makes me doubt if it’s the right idea.
« You do know that I kill by accident, little miss ?
- Stop these nicknames. I do know. I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t have any idea of what you’ve done in the past. I want to be here when you kill him. That’s why I offer my services as your assistant and co-host, if you want that is. After that, you can dispose of me however you like. I just want to watch him die.
- Did your boyfriend break up with you, and that’s why you want to kill him ? There’s no need for that, he wasn’t happy with you anymore and that’s it-
- He cheated on me, wanted only my body, and when I told him I wanted to break up, he started to hit me, and threatened to kill my family. I went to the cops, but they don’t believe me.
- I see. »
He was rubbing his mustache while thinking.
« I needed a co-host anyway, so I’m okay with that. But first, you’ll have to change all… this. »
He points at my outfit. I was wearing sweatpants with a black shirt and it’s been a week since I haven’t changed my clothes.
« Come with me.
- Where are we going ?
- We’re getting you a dress, assistant. I like to see my employees with clothes that suits them, and reveal their deadly beauty. Just like me ! »
He laughs and I smile. I will get my revenge. And I’ll savour it.
« What is your name by the way ? You do know mine, but I don’t know anything about you, except that you want to kill your ex-boyfriend. »
He turns his head to me.
« Emily. My name is Emily. »
———-
Man it feels good to write again! I made this in a few minutes, and I wanted to do it to celebrate our murder boy’s return! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, maybe I’ll do a second part to it? ;)
@justwritingscibbles Here’s the thing I talked about! :D

Dating Seokjin would include
  • Cuddles & a lot of it 
  • Tickling fights
  • Nagging , nagging Mama Jin
  • -Have you eaten ? 
  • -Not yet
  • -Get your butt here let me make you something
  • - I told you to wear something warm , why don’t you ever listen to me
  • -Yes mama
  • - Bitch says what
  • - I love you
  • Skinship 
  • You’re outside ? He gonna hold your hand  
  • You’re just cuddling , he’ll manage to find away to hold your hand
  • -Jin , leave my hand alone , it’s sweaty
  • -No it’s just because I’m too hot 
  • You’re cleaning ? Back hug attack
  • Putting his head on the top of your head because giant Jin
  •  Food . FOOD say no more
  • You’ll see him cooking at 2 am & when you ask him wth is he doing he’ll just be like : Oh nothing I was hungry , Want some ?
  • and of course who would say no to food , you’ll gladly Join
  • Working out together and getting the luxury to look at those broad shoulders and muscles up close Why am I like this
  • Teasing
  • -Hey you’ve something on your face 
  • -What is it ?
  • -Ugliness
  • -Yeah , well you’re dating this ugly creature
  • -  I saved your life
  • But then again , Seokjin is a real cinnamon roll & he’ll whisper sweet things to you & do his best to always make you feel loved
  • - You look stunning
  • -Good morning beautiful/handsome
  • Don’t forget to stay hydrated  !
  • Late skype nights when he is on tour
  • -Babe I miss you so much
  • -I saw this cute sweat shirt and I bought it for you !! I got myself one too 
  • Always complaining about how noisy the boys are & how they don’t listen to him
  • -Hoseok is screaming again omg
  • - HELP ME NAMJOON JUST BROKE THE DAMN MICROWAVE
  • -I’m so worried about Yoongi
  • You’ll have to be a referee once in awhile so Seokjin won’t throw himself from the window
  • ‘I love them , really but sometimes I just want to take the car and drive over them ‘ (he actually said that xD)
  • When he can’t empty his schedule & you can’t meet up , he’ll make sure to call or text whenever he can , saying that he loves you
  • Of course , Handsome Jin 
  • -Babe look at this picture , don’t I just look just fine ?
  • And you literally self palm but it’s cute 
  • You’ll have to remind him  , that’s it ok to not  do well in everything & not be too hard on himself
  • His smile
  • The  wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles
  • His laugh
  • His voice
  • expect a Lullaby because why not
  • Cooking together
  • Pillow talk 
  • Deep conversation 
  • to
  • Do you think Mario’s mustache is soft ? there is no in between
  • Hanging out with the boys 5 times out of 10 or Namjoon always tagging along on your dates
  • -Is Namjoon coming ?
  • - Of course
  • Dates at the dorm with the boys : Movie night
  • Coffee dates 
  • Gym dates
  • Amusement park dates
  • Home dates
  • Games
  • Mario cart
  • Fighting because of Mario carts
  • The boys stopping you from killing each other
  • Playing Nintendo on his days off
  • -Jin stop ignoring me
  • - Jin
  • -KIM SOEKJIN
  • - I’m playing Mario go away
  • But he’ll end up making you sit between his legs so he can cuddle and play at the same time
  • Pink couple flip phones
  • -No thank you , I just got a samsung
  • Bombard you with aegyo  
  • -Fine but why pink ?
  • - Pink is the new black
  • Couple rings
  • Kisses on the forehead when you’re feeling down
  •  a smooch on the cheek or lips if he’s too busy
  • Passionate making out on lazy days
  • Jealous Jin , with his judging stares 
  • - Excuse me , this is mine and thank you
  • Silent treatment
  • - I’m sorry , talk to me please ?
  • He’ll give you a side look then after few minutes later he’ll just come & snuggles with you on the sofa
  • - You’ve a hot boyfriend , you need no one
  • - You’re the best
  • Showing you off because he can
  • -Isn't my babe so cute ?
  • - For the Nth time Hyung , yes and yes

I had to stop, my fingers kept on tying by themselves , I’m sorry not sorry but sorry xD

Admin Pon-

Since it’s our Pink princess today , I thought of doing this . Hope you like it and #HappyJinDay

Request: Gemma’s best friend (Part 2)

Request: Imagine you’re one of Gemma’s besties and you are basically forced to flee to Charming due to an ex stalking you (after attempting to sexually assault you). Gemma takes you in and introduces you to everyone, and you like draws Tiggy in; you just completely fascinate him. Maybe some smut in there eventually?

Hello everyone,

There you go…Second and last part.

Enjoy! Love you all!

Tig Trager Warns You, This Imagine Contains: violence, language, smut

PART 1 

Originally posted by sunshinebby-5508

You didn’t know for sure if he was really there, but the boys were already looking around, all of them in the alert mood.

“Stay calm”, Jax said, “We can handle this”

“Oh great! A murder on the county fair”, you rolled your eyes, “Sounds like one of Agatha Christie’s books”

“Who?”, Tig laughed, but stopped when you rolled your eyes again.

“You stay with her”, Jax ignored you, “Go find Juice and Chibs. We are going to walk around, find Kozik and Happy”

Tig nodded and walked with you through the fair. Soon you found Juice and Chibs, telling them what was happening. You were getting worried and Tig could feel that, his hand resting on your lower back.

“We will get him doll”, he whispered, stopping at a tent.

“I’m kinda counting on that”, you crossed your arms, “You do or I will. This time I’m not running”

Tig raised his eyebrows and waved to Jax and Opie, coming closer again. Before they made it you saw your ex again, walking between two tents. You stroked Tig’s arm who looked in the same direction.

“We better leave”, you said, “Too many people, boys. He will follow us”

“Maybe”, Jax said. You stared at him until he shrug and Opie walked away to find the others. You walked back to the bikes, when everybody was there you hooped onto them and left. It didn’t took long for you to notice, through the mirror, the black SUV following you. Tig saw that too and moved his bike to stay among the others. His brothers noticed and they stayed back, trying to intercept the SUV.

“Warehouse is close”, Happy yelled to Tig and Jax, running on the front. They nodded and took the next turn. The boys and the SUV in a hunt back there. You heard tires and saw the dust through the mirrors. Tig tried to took you inside. The SUV parked and Happy soon had a gun pointed to you ex’s head,“On the floor”

He knelt on the floor, hands behind his head and his eyes piercing in your direction. “Son of a bitch”, you hissed and took a step forward. Tig was faster and held you by your waist.

“Don’t go there baby”, he whispered.

“You better let me go Trager”, you hissed back. He sighed and let you go, looking as you approached of your ex. Jax and the others just looked at you. Happy, Chibs and Kozik with their guns ready to shoot.

“You bastard”, you said, “You can’t take no for an answer right? You make me sick”

“What are you doing with this criminals?”, he said. Happy groaned, ready to beat the guy, but you raised your hand, stopping him, “You are nothing without me, you are already losing your way. Who are you fucking? The weird guy with the mustache? Come on, you can do bet…”

You kicked his crotch, making him bend over, “They are better men than you, rat. That is what you are, a rat. Coward, running after women, threatening them…”

“I’ll kill you bitch, I swear”, he said, almost chocking on the floor, “I’ll find you, wherever you go, hunt you and do…”

“Oh shut up!”, you rolled you eyes and took your gun from your boots. You pointed it to him, “Last chance”

All the boys were looking at you, even Happy was holding his breath. Your ex spit on the floor and you sighed. “Whatever”, you said and pulled the trigger. The bullet passed through his head and you swore you saw Happy nodded to you, approving. You put the gun back on its place and turned to Jax. “Sorry”, you shrugged.

“No problem darling”, he smiled, “We can clean this mess”

Happy and Kozik were already taking care of it and you walked towards Tig, his mouth ajar. “Take me home?”, you said.

“Sure doll”, he swallowed and walked with you to his bike. You hopped onto it and left, riding fast to Charming. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the wind, you knew Tig could feel your trembling hands, but he said nothing. He parked his bike on the driveway and walked inside with you.

You stopped in the middle of the living room, breathing deeply. Tig closed the door and tried to wrap his arms around you, but you ditched away. “Doll?”, he asked.

“Shit Trager!”, you turned around to face him, “I just killed a man!”

“Yeah, a bad one”, he nodded. You huffed and kicked your boots off, enjoying the cold floor under your feet, “Don’t go there doll”

“Where?”, you snapped, “Dark places in my mind?”

“Yes”, he just said, his eyes piercing in your direction, “He was a bad man”

“Oh great! Now should I be happy?”, you said, taking a step in his direction with every word you said, “Am I some kind of vigilante now?”

“No”, he said, still calm, “You were just protecting yourself and if you hadn’t done it…Happy would or me…Fact is, that guy wouldn’t leave alive”

Tig took a step towards you, he face now inches from yours. He cupped your face and you tried to look away. He made you look at him and gently kissed you. You pushed him away, breathing deeply as you looked into his eyes. He didn’t give up. Tig pulled you to him again and kissed you harder this time.

In seconds, your body set on fire and you were grabbing his kutte, not leaving any space between you two. His mouth was hungry, taking everything he could from you. You bit his lip, making Tig smirk and lift you in his arms, walking to the couch. You straddled his lap as he sat and kept kissing him, nibbling his jaw. His hands slid under your jeans, grabbing your ass before put your panties aside and slid a finger inside you.

“Already so wet?” he smirked. You laughed and Tig added another finger, moving them in and out of you. The buttons of his shirt flew away as you ripped it open. Your cupped the back of his neck, keeping him close to you. you moaned on his lips.

“Tig”, he curled his fingers inside you, making your legs tremble. Your hands held the couch and you came on his hand, “Fuck…Oh Tiggy”

“Damn! You are so beautiful when you came”, Tig smirked and licked his fingers, covered with your juices, “It tastes good too”

“Oh thank you”, you laughed and took off your shirt and bra. Your breasts were exposed to him and Tig didn’t waste time, licking the nipples, his tongue soft and warm against your skin, “You can do better than that”

He took it as a challenge and opened his mouth over your breast, sucking it hard. You tangled your fingers on his hair, eyes closed. You grinded onto him, feeling his boner through the jeans. You needed him or you would came again in your panties. Pulling back, you got up and took off your jeans, your eyes never living his. Tig’s mouth was ajar and he rushed to get rid of his own clothes. Him member was proudly erect and you licked your lips as you knelt in front of him.

Your fingers closed around his base and your tongue circled the head. You made the tip ran over the vain on his length, making Tig moan. Your hands were slightly stroking him and your mouth was open over his balls, sucking them. He cursed and his nails dug on the couch. You smiled, satisfied and took him in your mouth, letting the head touch your throat.

“Keep doing that…and I won’t last long”, he said, breathless. You giggled and straddled his lap again. His hands rested on your hips as you grabbed his cock, lining with your entrance. You lowered yourself onto him, taking a deep breath, feeling Tig fill you. 

“Oh my God”, you mumbled, moving your hips. His grip tightened on your waist, leaving red marks. Tig looked up to you, making eye contact as you moved up and down his cock.

“You fell so good doll”, he licked his lips. He slapped your ass making you scream, “Come on”

“Tiggy…”, you moaned. His thumb rubbed your clit. You let your head fall against his shoulder as you trembled, tightening around him. Tig said your name and lift his hips, thrusting inside you before came too. You rested against his body, “Jesus…Pretty good for a first time right?”

“Pretty good?”, he made you laugh. Tig held you close and laid you down on the couch. Still inside you, he thrusted again, making you gasp.

“Second round?”, you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah”, he said, leaning to kiss you, “Pretty good…I’ll show you good” 

The End

One sentence prompts:

• “I know that you love me but we should go to the hospital because I think I tasted peanut butter and im allergic to peanuts”

• “oh my god please don’t kill me, but I accidentally might have just ate the last piece of your favorite cake”

• “ I called you fifteen times and you didn’t answer because you clogged my toilet!?”

• “ did you just quote Lord of the Rings while we’re having sex?”

• “you were laughing? I thought you were choking!”

• “I swear to god, if you don’t stop wearing that Mexican Fiesta Dinosaur costume I will actually stab you.”

• “TAKE OF THAT FAKE MUSTACHE RIGHT NOW AND EAT DINNER WITH ME!”

• “if you pick rainbow road one more time, I’m breaking up with you.”

• “do you want to fight, because I will actually fight you.”
  • Bolin: So you guys were locked up for like 15 years huh? That must have been like crazy boring.
  • Ghazan: Actually it was 13 years, but it felt like 30.
  • Bolin: I mean what did you do with all that time? Did you sing songs? Work on crafts?
  • Ming-Hua: Not a lot of craft supplies in a volcanic prison cell.
  • Ghazan: -And I must have renamed the constellations about a thousand times. When it rained, that was a big event.
  • Ming-Hua: I would've killed for some rain. Mostly I just made up stories about the guards, who was having trouble with his girlfriend, which one secretly wished he'd become a pastry chef....
  • Bolin: Ooo ok that sounds like fun let me try that on you guys. You were raised by an older sister, your mustache grew in when you were 10, and I'm sensing...just sensing an unspoken attraction between you two.
  • Ghazan: 2 out of 3....not bad.
  • Mako: Bolin, will you stop making friends with the bad guys?
  • Bolin: Sorry.....