i missed last two weeks t t

My Fantasy (The Breeding Room)

Here is a little fantasy story i wrote a few years ago , have posted here before on my old blog, hope it doesn’t get me banned lol

Chapter 1

Welcome Home

The drive home from picking you up at the airport to our secluded 150 acres of paradise didn’t take long as it was only 1pm and traffic out of the city was minimal, still it seemed to take forever for you. You had been away visiting your parents for the last two weeks and missing me, home and probably most of our two purebred stud Labs, we have a chocolate one Franky and a golden Ralph. We have other animals as well that I’m sure you missed too but knowing you wouldn’t have the slightest opportunity of getting any doggy lovin at your parents house for the last 2 weeks, I knew you only had 2 things on your mind by this stage and those 2 things were hanging very proudly under Franky n Ralf. I mention I have been busy and made a few changes around the place while you were away so be prepared for a surprise or two, now I can really sense your excitement growing with every passing kilometre.
Eventually we drive through the automatic security gates and down our driveway which winds its way through the dense rainforest for half a klm or so to our home nestled in a grassy clearing amongst the beautiful rainforest overlooking a crystal clear creek. As we pull in to park the Labs are at your door tails wagging madly very excited, i tell you I’ll take the bags in, while you get re acquainted with you boys. As I’m getting your suitcases out of the boot I have to yell to you over all the excitement to take them to your special spot down by the creek, I’ll put the bags in and meet you down there. There is a nice little patch of lawn on the creek bank that we keep manicured, it’s only accessible along a little path, we designed it to be very secluded for obvious reasons, family n friends think it’s the picnic area, if only they knew. I quickly drop the suitcases and run out the back to stop you before I’m too late, as I do I see you and the boys running like 3 youngsters who have just been given the keys to every ride at the royal show, how you managed it is beyond me mid stride your panties come off and go flying off into the air. It’s a shame but I have to stop you now in or it could ruin your surprise for later. I yell for you to stop and wait, as I catch up I apologise but remind you of the surprise’s, and that now you need to trust me for a bit even if it doesn’t make sense, as I do I grab hold of your hand and lead you in the direction of the shed.
Standing at the shed door I tell you too close your eyes for a bit while I open up and turn on the lights, when I say to you open your eyes and walk in to the shed, the first thing you notice is that the end section where we are standing has been sealed off into a smaller room about the size of a decent master bedroom, the next thing you notice is that right in the middle of the room there is a padded breeding bench, with soft leather cuffs where your ankles and wrists will be. Instantly your face lights up and you can’t thank me enough, I tell you to stop and go have a closer look, I’ll get all the thanks I need later, “much later” I think and have a little chuckle to myself. You walk over to the bench shaking your head with a grin you say now you understand why insisted on measuring your arms n legs before you left for your parents, yep, so you should fit into it perfectly baby. I give you a good firm slap on the arse and say what are you waiting for, the boys are dying to get into that tight little pussy of yours, let’s christen it, but before I can finish my sentence you clothes are off and you’re climbing on to your new toy. You confirm I got all the measurements right by saying it feels very comfortable and you’re body position is perfect for presenting to the studs as a bitch ready to be bred with your arse up in the air and pussy perfectly exposed. I put a lot of time and thought into getting it so your body position is perfect and having your pussy exposed as much as possible because now you won’t be able to reach around and guide the boys cock’s into you like you usually do. I was a bit worried but now that you in position I can see they just can’t miss and damm you look so fucking inviting like that, I’m sure if a gay bishop walked past and saw you he would forget it all and fuck the shit out of you like a porn star. Anyhow, while I’m admiring my handy work at the business end, you notice there is a hole for your face like a massage table has, through the hole there is 2 small flat screens TV built into the base. The boys are getting excited I can hear them whining at the door so I quickly explain to you that there are two camera’s linked to the TV’s one will show all the action from underneath, penetration, pullout’s etc (don’t stress it’s waterproof) and the other will show you the side on view, I thought it would help pass some time while you’re knotted. At this point you a little bit gobsmacked and before you even realise I have the cuffs around your ankles and wrists , the TV’s are turned on and you hear say from behind you that this is not even half of what I have in store for you today baby, then you hear the door open and me calling Franky, the younger and least patient one of the boys, but little do you know, Franky and Ralf have now got some serious competition. which i will explain in detail in chapter 2 soon.

Chapter 2

Franky loves Mummy

As I’m getting Franky, the anticipation of what’s about to happen sends a deep wave of excitement mixed with pure animalistic lust through your whole body, your head feels dizzy like you’re about to faint as you burry your face into the padded hole and try to focus on the two TV’s directly below you. Your focus comes back and you can’t help but admire how incredible you look from the side view completely exposed and totally helpless like that, just so purely, ready to be fucked, in the perfect position to be presented for breeding with your sexy arse all up in the air begging to be used, abused and bred. You then shift your gaze across to the screen showing your exposed vagina and before you even get the chance to admire your perfectly shaven, pouting pussy, Franky’s big hairy chocolate snout appears and soon your pussy is lost in a mess of his slobber and frantic licking. Once again you go all fuzzy and the familiar tingling of pure animal lust washes through you sexy naked body, but this time it’s way beyond anything you have ever experienced before as you realise the gravity of your predicament.
I come around and quickly check the monitors to make sure I got the positioning of the camera’s right, then kiss you on the head and ask “sure you’re ready for this baby”? A muffled but very clear “oh my god YES” is the reply, followed by “just get him on me”!! Immediately I pat your hot little arse and encourage Franky to hop up, he usually never needs any encouragement whenever you present too him outside, naked or not he’s usually on you like shot, but this time he just tilts his head sideways, looks at me with a look of confusion and desperation that says “for fuck sake, help me Dad” Ahh then I realise you are slightly too high for him, I tell you to spread you’re legs a bit and as you do the back of the bench where your soaking wet and waiting cunt is , lowers slightly, the further you spread them the more it lowers and vice versa when you close your legs. I designed it like this for a couple reasons, firstly because this way when your tied to one of the dogs for long periods you will still be able to have some control and movement at the ever so important point of union, but the second reason you won’t understand until later, let’s just say, different dogs are different heights.
The second Franky sees this he’s up and on you, by now you couldn’t give a fuck about the camera’s, it’s been 2 long weeks and you just desperately need to feel that big hot dog cock inside you, and Franky obliges in spades, he finds your hungry little cunt immediately and drives his hot dog cock into you about halfway, then back out and then in again this time driving himself home, as deep as he can possibly get, you moan deeply and I can tell how relieved you must feel to finally have a nice hot doggy cock buried deep inside your tummy again. I encourage Franky as he continues pistoning in and out like a jackhammer “Good boy Franky, fuck Mummy good n hard buddy, she needs it” and he doesn’t disappoint, I can hear you’re muffled voice moaning and saying “I’m cumminnnng,I’m cumming” over n over, the volume comes n goes to the rhythm of Frankys thrusting as his power compresses your chest against the bench.
Now Franky is a couple years younger than Ralf, and probably has simular fucking style to a 20 year old human male, mountains of energy and power but somewhat frantic thrusting that doesn’t usually last that long. He has still a long way to go before he learns to knott you and tie like the older Ralf does so well. This is why I let him at you first; I figured you would probably need a good hard pounding first off after being away for 2 weeks. This time he seems faster with much more energy, the incredible speed of his thrusting is amazing to watch. Your sexy little butt ripples like jelly every time he drives himself deep into you, the whole room is filled with the sound of your moans and the loud slapping sound of Frankys balls against your tummy, every time also slapping your clitty as they do. You can feel his knott growing quickly and really enjoying feeling these precious moments where it’s still small enough to go in and out but still big enough to stretch your entrance slightly with every frantic in and out thrust.
You haven’t stopped moaning and mumbling that your cumming since he started breeding you, but after about 5 minutes , as usual he swells too big on the outside and stops the pounding with his big swollen knott pressed firmly against your cum covered entrance. “fuck me you look amazing, so fucking hot baby” I tell you as I pull Frankies furry brown leg aside so I can see his swollen, red veiny dog cock in that amazing, beautiful little human cunt of yours, I get down for a closer look and can see a mixture of Frankies doggy juice and your delicious girl cream running down both your inner thighs as you feel him unload more of that hot puppy seed into your deprived womb.
I had been hard all arvo myself just from the anticipation of all this but now seeing you in action being used like that has got me about ready to explode, I probably should let you enjoy the view on the monitors at this point but I know there will be plenty of time for that later. Right now I desperately need to unload a huge load of my cum into you, so I quickly drop my pants, as my rock hard hard 8 and a bit inch cock springs out like a diving platform. I walk around to where your head is and say “baby, QUICK, I need to cum so bad” you lift your head from the padded hole and turn to the side and there it is right in front of your eyes, begging for your lips. It’s no coincidence that when i’m standing there my cock is the perfect height for you to suck; it’s not ALL about you. You take me deep immediately as you feel Franky spasm and pump more hot puppy seed into you, it doesn’t take long before I reach down and cup my balls (only because you cant) and explode violently into your mouth with 2 weeks’ worth of built up frustration and cum. There’s more than you can swallow with your head tilted like that but you do a great job and lick the spillage from your lips and the bench like it’s your last meal on earth. You look up at me and our eyes meet for the first time since this session started and I see pure love and contentment, it’s at this point that I am again reminded that I am the luckiest man on the planet.
Our loving gaze is broken as Franky decides he has completely emptied his balls and done what he needed to do, so he hops down and runs around to say hello, happy as a pig in shit with his tail wagging out of control. I let you have a little post mating moment and walk to the small door which is in front of you, open it and say ok Franky, time to go buddy at which point he runs over to me and through the door. I close it and now walk to the door which is behind you as I do I tell you to get comfortable again, I guess because we were all to tied up in what was happening with Franky we didn’t notice , but now we can really hear poor Ralf whining and pawing desperately at the back door. You bury your face into the padded bench again and here the click as I open the door.

Chapter 3

Ralf Loves Mummy!!

One again the anticipation in your tummy is building as you hear Ralfs footsteps running toward you from behind and you realise you are about to be used again and even tho Franky fucked a lot of that pent up frustration out of you, you are still as hungry for more dog cock. Not only that, this time it will be the old stud, your first ever doggy lover who has been making you happy for the last 5 years, he knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s not all about wham bam thank you maam like he’s younger mate. Ralf’s all about actually breeding, when he’s fucking you he’s purpose is to knott you for as long as possible , inseminate you with as much of he’s puppy seed as possible and as far as he’s concerned, knock you up with a belly full of he’s puppies. If Franky’s a Ferrai then Ralf’s a Rolls Royce, not as aggressive but smooth, powerful and slightly bigger. I love seeing either of the boys breeding you but you and Ralf just seem to look so much more natural together.
As he nears you I say to you to try and focus on the screens this time, but you already are and you can’t believe that the whole time Franky was fucking you, you didn’t manage to see a thing. Ralf takes one little sniff of your exposed pussy still dripping with Franky’s sperm, smells the competition and it’s like a switch is flicked in his head. I don’t know if its jealousy, more instinct telling him that he must breed this bitch right fucking now and make sure he inseminates her with more of his puppy seed than the last dog so it’s his puppies that she will be having. With that he’s on you and you can see the pink tip of his cock spaying a little pre cum over your already cum soaked and swollen pussy, you also see for the first time how amazing it looks as he drives his dog cock into your sweet tight human pussy. With the anticipation and being able to see him enter you like this you are sent over the edge and you feel another huge orgasm building inside you, trying to focus on watching his very rapidly growing dog cock invade your human body as he begins his powerful, deep thrusting becomes too hard as another incredible full body orgasm takes control of your helpless body. Ralf is also a bit bigger than Franky , in all areas, the extra strength and size feels amazing and stretches you’re pussy walls just that little bit more and goes just that little bit deeper than Franky could reach. Even Ralf now is fucking you like a frantic teenager, must be punishing you for leaving him outside while Franky had his way first. You haven’t stopped cumming the whole time and then you feel that wonderful familiar feeling of his knott starting to grow, and after Franky your dying to be totally knotted but you know Ralf knows what he’s doing and won’t let you down. “oh my god, that’s it Ralfy, make mummy your bitch”!! “knott me good n tight” I hear you mumble. With that he has one last power full thrust and you feel him drive his now swollen knott home. It’s such a relief to know he can still knott you while you are cuffed to the bench like that, as usually when you’s fuck outside you help him by pushing back on to his cock to make sure it all in. Well he certainly didn’t need any assistance this time, he’s got it in you and it’s not coming out for quite a while, you can now focus and you look down at the screen and can see his swollen knott making your mound bulge and dog cum dripping from his furry balls and oozing out of your pussy around his cock. I ask you how it looks to you and you reply “his doggy cock looks so fuckiing amazing inside me” , to which I respond “oh I know it does babe, now you know why I love watching you’s mate” , “you are suck a good bitch baby, you look fucking amaizing all knotted up like that” these words send you into another moment of orgasmic bliss and you realize he just won’t stop cumming either. I can tell how much he is because it’s running down your legs and I can see his arse clench with every time he sprays more doggy seed into you.
Usually Ralf likes to turn around and be butt to butt with you but this time it could be a little hard due to your position and height so I hold him on your back and let him finnish there which he eventually does after about 40 minutes and gallons of sperm later. He slowly slides out of your well used pussy and its at this point that I’m glad I thought to make the bottom camera waterproof because an amazing amount of cum gushes out after his cock does. He then quickly has a bit of a sniff and cleans you up with his big tongue, then runs around the front to thank say thank you with a big lick on the face. Now your face is covered in a mixture of the two dogs come and your girl cream and judging by the smile on your sexy face you don’t mind at all.
“C’mon Ralfy boy” I say as I walk to the door at the front of you, “time to go buddy”. He runs through the door like a good boy and I close it, then instead of coming over to undo the cuffs like you were expecting me to, I walk straight past you to the back door and open it, then you hear me yell out, “Rex, c’mon boy”, “c’mon mate it’s your turn now boy” ………………………………………………….

Chapter 4

Meet Rex

What tha fuck?? Who’s Rex?? You yell to me, as you hear his footsteps trotting up behind you, however this time the footsteps seem louder, obviously being made by a considerably heaver dog. This is correct, I start explaining to you that while you were away I finally got the work finished on the Boarding Kennel that I’d been working on for months and Rex is one of our first Boarders, “baby meet Rex the Rhodeisian Ridgeback, he’s going to be here for a month” , you don’t know whether to be happy or really scared, but this situation is really starting to excite you more than you already were. A strange dog, a BIG strange dog, we had often talked about the size and power of Ridgebacks and you always wanted to meet one day, well now you have and hopefully he’s going to fuck the shit out of you and make you his bitch too. You think to yourself “fuck I’m a total dirty little dog whore, 3 in a row, if he fucks me too, hope he does”.
I don’t know if he is experienced or not or if it’s just animal instinct, but he goes straight for your dripping pussy and starts have a sniff and lick, also making whining noises like he’s anxious, “good boy Rex”I say and give him a pat, “wana fuck that pussy boy, like the other 2 just did”, “Go on mate make that sexy little doggy whore your bitch, she wants it bad” , I hear you say “fuck yesss I do”, “please make him fuck me, please”. He has another sniff then runs around you all excited checking you out, he looks like he just can’t believe his luck, probably thinks “fuck is this actually happening to me” like all his Christmases have come at once. He must of thought well I’m not waiting around any longer in case my luck changes, I can see he has part of his cock out now. He trots aoround to your hot little behind and jumps up, but he’s a little high so you pull your legs together and raise up to meet him. Then you feel it, it’s already huge, a moment of panic rushes through you like a lightning bolt , but leaves you just a fast as you feel that huge warm cock easily slide into your well lubricated pussy. “Oh fuck ,oh fuck oh fuck YESSSS”, you look at one of the monitors and see how big it is and your wet little pussy lips stretching around it girth, holding it tightly as it enters you, “fuck , feels , amazing, oh FUCK ME REX”!! I hear you say as he starts building up some rhythm and obliges your request with much enthusiasm, he fucks you hard and fast like Franky, but so much deeper and with much more power than Ralf. Now you really do just feel like a total doggy fuck toy, being totally used and abused by a big powerful animal that you or I cannot control, at this point you are in for the ride of your life , like it or not. You have a look at the other monitor and from the side view you can’t believe how tiny you look under this big tan beast, but you also look so hot under him like that, your dark skin looks great against his yellow, you sexy little arse in the air, and you long shiny black hair all over this strange dogs face as he burry his head into the back of your neck to get deeper. You feel him slow down a bit and his knott starting to swell fast, he is so big he can only just fit it all inside you and still have the knott in enough to tie, it does feel a bit awkward at first to you but soon feels nothing but pure pleasure as your tight little pussy stretches to accommodate what is by far the biggest object it has ever had to accommodate before. After he settles down a little bit he starts trying to turn around, so I help him and make sure he doesn’t yank that huge knott out of you as that would be dangerous. Luckily because of his height he turns around and is standing there butt to butt with you. You feel amazing like this, almost just hanging off this huge cock which is joining you to this beautiful animal that is sending wave after wave or hot dog sperm into your tiny little body and womb. You look at the screen and admire yourself again, looking so natural butt to butt with a big dog like nature intended. Now I tell you to move your legs in and out and you can move around and grind on him a bit, which you do, “that’s it, milk that big doggy cock baby”, “Get all that puppy juice inside you like a good little bitch” “he’s not going anywhere for quite a while”me saying this and the feeling of being able to move around on his cock sends you into orgasmic bliss , I also see an opportunity as your arse is not exposed, I rub my finger in some of the messy dog cum around your pussy, then move the dogs tail a bit and slowly start fingering your arse, it’s extremely tight in there but I slowly work my finger in deeper until I can feel past his knott , “fuck it’s huge”I say as I start really fingering your tight little arse now. This just make the big long orgasm you’re having continue longer and way more intense, you feel like you’re going to pass out, your continuous moans make me ask if you’re ok, but you’re unable to answer, I doubt you could even hear me, it’s like you’re on another planet, or in a trance.
Eventually after being tied butt to butt for over an hour the big dog slowly subsides and pulls his huge member from you bruised and battered sopping wet little cunt, again gallons of dog cum gushes out, however because of your position there must still be gallons from all the dogs still inside you, we both like knowing this. I love seeing you completely satisfied like this and I know how much you love doggy cum inside you. I lead Rex around so you can see the size of the huge cock that just fucked you, you can’t believe your eyes, and it’s not even fully hard anymore, but it would have to be 9 inches so it must have been monstrous inside you. “fuck baby, you’re such a good little bitch” I say as I lead Rex to the front door and let him out. 

 
Chapter 5

Daddy love Mummy Also

As I walk back towards you I start unbuckling my belt, it’s become quite evident to you how turned on I am by the huge bulge in my jeans, I stop just short of where your head is and finish unbuttoning my jeans and let them drop to the floor in front of you along with my jocks. My cock is now as big as you have ever seen it as you look up hungrily at me and lick your lips in anticipation for your next treat. Without saying a work I place both hands around the back of your head, tilt it back slightly and step forward driving my throbbing cock deep into your hungry little bitch mouth past those beautiful red lips and into your throat. “mmmm fuck me that feels good baby” “been waiting for this for so long”!! Your response is just a muffled gurgle and I begin thrusting in and out of your mouth, the fact I’m standing in front of you and you can’t move gives me plenty of room to use the power in my hips and thrust in to your throat deep and hard. Your body looks amazing from here all locked up on the bench with your arse still high in the air, this gives me a very sexy thought so I slow down then reach over your body with one hand and feel your sopping wet pussy. “mmmm your so fucking wet baby, you have so much doggy cum still oozing out of you” I say as I start fingering your totally used pussy, as I do I hear you whimper slightly as you feel a bit of pain due to the continuous pounding your poor tight little cunt has just received . The combination of feeling all the doggy cum in your tight little cunt and the amazing sensation of having my throbbing cock buried deeply in your mouth has pushed me to the brink of exploding. I know you love nothing more than swallowing my loads even the dogs loads however before you went away we had both decided we were ready to start trying for a baby and knowing how much of a build-up of cum I have it would be a shame to waste such an opportunity . Watching you with the dogs has had my balls making sperm over time for a few hours now and I know I am ready to absolutely explode in a big long orgasm and spray gallons of fertile cum into you like a fire hose, not only that, the way your body is positioned on the bench looks to be the perfect position for you to conceive with your entrance slightly higher than your womb. As I step back and pull my cock from your lips I hear you slurp and gasp at the same time, “yes baby, fuck my bitch cunt where the doggies have just been” you say. Mmmmm YES!!!!! “I can’t wait to feel all that warm dog sperm inside you!! I quickly walk around behind you, again your entrance is the perfect height for me to stand and enter you, so I do without hesitation and slide into you with ease, you’re are so wet, so fucking sloppy and it feels so fucking amazing. Within second I’m panting like a dog myself and pounding your wet bitch cunt for all I’m worth, as you feel my thrusts becoming more frantic I reach forward and grab a handful of your long dark hair and yank your head back, this also gives me something to pull against as I drive myself into you as hard as I can. “yessss that’s it babe, fuck me hard, impregnate me, empty your balls into my bitch cunt” I hear you encourage me in your sexy accent. Now I go into a total animalistic trance , almost yelling at the top of my voice, un aware of any pain I might be causing you and unable to stop even if I am, I don’t have control of my own body and I unload spurt after spurt of my hot juice as deep as I can into you, my orgasm seems to take forever then slowly subsides and I hold myself as deep as I can inside you and continue to spasm for at least another 5 mins. “mmmmmmm good baby good work “you tell me as you keep milking my cock for every last drop. Eventually I pull myself from your dripping wet pussy, then on very shaky knees I un cuff you from the bench, help you up and out of it as you have been in that position for quite some time and are a bit stiff n sore, as you stand up we both just drop to the floor in a deep embrace, kiss and fall asleep with my face buried in your beautiful big boobs and dream of our next sexy adventure together in our little piece of paradise.



Emergency Commissions

I’m not one to make these kinds of posts, in fact, I seldom really open up here but unfortunately, my situation isn’t great. So for the last few months, I haven’t been able to see my therapist because of payment issues, essentially I missed a session because my alarm didn’t go off, so my normally $40 session now costs me $110. Now, typically my parents pay for it but because of our financial situation I haven’t been able to see her since and if I was going to be honest with you, my mental health hasn’t been the best.

Along with not being able to pay for testosterone, therapy or my psychiatrist appointments, my grandmother passed away two weeks ago. We were very close and her death was sudden. I had made an appointment to see my therapist under the assumption that my parents would pay for it, like they said they would, but suddenly they sprung it on me that not only do I have to pay for my missed session, I also have to pay for my next one and my next psychiatrist appointment. Both of these things are later on in the week, and honestly, I have nowhere else to turn to. 

TL;DR: I need to pay for my therapy and my psychiatrist appointment. I need $200.

I’m going to be discounting my commissions by five dollars!

Sketch: $5 Icon | $10 Bust | $20 Half Body (+$5 for color)

Example: 

Flats:$10 Icon | $15 Bust | $30 Half Body

+$5 for another character.

(Edit: WHOOPS wrong picture.)

Monty

I always forget about that one bit in ‘Lets Just Live’ where she sings “suddenly a friend is gone, we could cry our lives away, but if they were here they’d say ‘go forward, you must keep moving on’”. The loss of Monty still hurts. I cry everytime someone mentions him. When Gavin said if he could talk to any dead person he’d tell Monty how good RWBY is, I sobbed. Whenever I see anything about him, even when I watch the first two seasons of RWBY, it strikes a chord. I didn’t start watching RWBY till last year, but I’ve been following Roosterteeth since I was 12 and losing Monty felt like a death in the family. I’m tearing up writing this. This is probably an odd time to mourn him and very out of the blue but with RTX London and RWBY V5 next week, it seemed appropriate to me. We still miss him. I don’t think we’ll ever not miss him.

Rest in Peace, Monty Oum. You were not just a great man, but a good one as well.

I’ve been meaning to do this forever, and kept forgetting stalling lol! I really wanted to do it before the end of May tho, because…

 H E L L O this blog turns one year old in May

I can’t exactly remember the date, but I know it was around May that I finally threw the towel, gave up, and created this mostly OUAT/CS sideblog! SO HERE WE ARE! ONE YEAR LATER! And while I can still qualify to ‘professional lurkers of Tumblr(dot)com’ I wanted to take a moment to give a shoutout to some of my favorite peeps that I follow around here! Y’all make the Tumblr experience for me, with your writing (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), your art, your gifs, and everything in between, meta, FANGIRLING, etc etc etc.

I do not know many of you, but I definitely know of a bunch of you through my dash and every time a new fic is posted or an awesome piece of art or words about JUST HOW CAPTAINSWAN IS THE BEST OTP ON THE PLANET (lol), it totally makes my day!

So without further ado (aka, my endless rambling lol) here’s this….whatever this is, but I think it’s my APPRECIATION POST to you beautiful beans!

(I like this pic all right?! lol))

Keep reading

Why??

Originally posted by sugaa

Min yoongi x reader (ft. Jungkook)

Angst

Warning: swearing

Word count: 818

Admin Rayne

________

Broken. I feel nothing. It’s been one week since Yoongi yelled at me and I haven’t heard from him since.

~last week~

Yoongi has been in the studio for two days and I haven’t seen him in so long I miss him maybe I should go see him I thought to myself I put on a nice outfit and made my way to BigHit when I got there I saw Jimin and Jungkook walking into the building “Hey guys wait for me,” I yelled when they looked they smiled “hey __ , how have you been?” Jungkook asked putting his arm around me, “I came to see Yoongi.” I said as I walked with them to the practice room and looked for him there but I didn’t see him. “Guys do you know where Yoongi is?” I said loud enough for everyone to hear. Namjoon also responded by pointing in the direction of Yoongi’s studio.

I walked to the studio and opened the door very slowly to see if he was there, he was I decided not to bother him out of the blue so I texted him, ‘hey are you busy?’ I waited for about three minutes until I check to see if he saw it which he did so I walked in. The lights weren’t on so I turned them on. “Baby how are you?” I smiled as I saw Yoongi jump by the light being turned on. “What the fuck __ what are you doing?” He said. He was mad but I waited too long to see him for me to get mad. “I missed you.” I walked to him. “no, leave now,” he pointed to the door. “Why are you making a song for me?” I pointed at him in a teasing manner. “I fucking told you to leave. I don’t want to see you okay? Why did you think of even coming here if I ‘missed’ you so much? I would have come home, and to answer your question, no, I’m not making a song for you why would I waste my time on something so stupid!” He yelled. I felt tears fill my eyes. Never in our two-year relationship has he ever actually said something so hurtful like that. I was so shocked at what he said. I fell to my knees. “I fucking told you to leave, you bitch!” He yelled loudly. The others came running in to see what was wrong as they got came into the room they found me crying on the floor and a very mad Yoongi. “What happened?” Jungkook said kneeling beside me/ I was crying too hard I couldn’t answer him instead I heard Yoongi say in a very annoyed voice, “she came in uninvited and I told her to leave.” “What the fuck Yoongi? She missed you why would you yell at her?” Jin yelled at him by the time Yoongi answered Jungkook helped me up and we went out of the room to get water.


     Jungkook was the first one to speak, “what happened? Why did he yell like that?” He looked at me. I was scared and I felt like I was going to vomit so I just handed Jungkook the water and walked to the door to leave. “__ wait where are you going?” Jungkook chased after to stop me. “I have to go home Jungkook. I have a lot to do.” I lied so I could leave faster. “Okay but at least let me drive you home,” He said as he led me to the direction of his car. “Okay only because I don’t actually feel like walking,” I smiled at him.


   The drive was quiet. I started to fall asleep but I woke because Jungkook hit a bump in the road. When I opened my eyes I saw we were in a drive-thru. “What are you doing?” I asked sitting up in my spot. He smiled and said, “I’m getting us ice cream.” He ordered us the ice cream and drove me home. When I got home I forgot about Yoongi, and what happened earlier until I opened my phone to see me and Yoongi on our first date. I turned off my phone and walked upstairs to bed. As I was getting ready for bed I heard banging on my door. I went to go open it and saw Jimin and Taehyung standing there. “__ have you seen Yoongi-hyung? Please tell us he’s here,” Jimin said panicking. “No, I haven’t seen him since this morning. Why what’s wrong?” I said starting to panic myself. “Yoongi-hyung is gone and we can’t find him anywhere,” Jimin said. “But we found this in his studio,” he said handing me a note.


         I love you all. please forgive me for doing this.

____

Pt.2?

anonymous asked:

Fluffy scenario between s/o and Hibari washing and tending to eachother in a bathtub (I just love your headxanons of him and can't believe you guys are leaving!!😭💔)

He’s been on a one-week long mission and his partner was missing him. They stillreceived his phone-calls, but for the last two days, there’s been nothing. They began to worry until one night, when Hibari came home. He was drenched from the rain and his clothes were dirty and worn, but other than that, he seemed well and without bigger cuts other than on his cheek. His partner didn’t hesitate to prepare a warm bath to which Hibari didn’t say no to as the moment he was in, he pulled his partner in as well. They were shocked, but smiled when they felt his arms around them and his nose in the crook of their neck. Hibari was quiet the whole time as the only sound was his partner’s humming while they’re washing his back. It took him some time, but he managed to relax when he felt their lips on his shoulders and hands giving him a gentle massage.

Well, I finally decided to join Inktober, but I missed the first day ;P In order to compensate I will try to draw two pics the last day. I won’t follow neither the official prompts nor theme-based ones, as I want to use this Inktober to improve my inking skills, my aim is to try different inking techniques. Then, I made a list with all the inking tools I already have in my toolbox XD, since there are 15 of them I can repeat some. The first two weeks I’ll try to follow the list and the rest of the month I will choose freely. (Sorry if I didn’t write correctly the names of the tools in English, and please, forgive me for my bad English in general #^^#)

1.       Calibrated marker pens (fine) →Ritchie (Outlaws) ×

2.       Dip Pen (G) → Outlaws ×

3.       Dip Pen (G hard) →Ritchie and Ian (1978)×

4.       Dip Pen (round)→Ritchie (Caesar Sutch and the Roman Empire)×

5.       Dip pen (fine) → Tommy Bolin ×

6.       Brush pens → Ian Gillan ×

7.       Lamy Fountain pen →Jon Lord ×

8.       Nib pen 1 → Ritchie ×

9.       Nib pen 2 →Ian Paice ×

10.   Glass dip pen (and long brush pen) →Ritchie (In black stockings) ×

11.   Ink and brush → Episode Six ×

12.   Parker ink →Roger Glover ×

13.   Ballpoint pens → Rod Evans & Nick Simper (plus chibi Ritchie, Lord and Paicey) ×

14.   Sign pen →David Coverdale ×

15.   Water-soluble colour brush pens → Glenn Hughes ×

Of course, I chose a theme: Deep purple members (mainly in their early years). Ready to be spamed with shota Ritchies, Ians, Glovers, etc…? Here you have a young Ritchie (Outlaws era) to start with! AAAAh I love drawing Ritchie with his ducktail (?) hairstyle!!  Hope you like it! Stay tuned for daily updates! ;D

Life
  • I currently have over $1,000 worth of dental care that needs to be done due to me eating too much candy and popsicles. I was waiting to get insurance from work but too many full-time people have quit so they don’t have enough people to start the program. That means I have to pay it out of pocket…yippee. 
  • I kept going back and forth in my mind about Superman being a good guy or a villain, so I wrote a letter to him last night and ever since then I’ve been at peace with the break up. I’m ready to move on. 
  • Next week I’m going to start going back to the gym, I haven’t been there in two months or so and I miss it. I’m not going to stress over wanting to lose a certain amount of weight, I just want to get back in shape and commit to actually going 3-5 times a week. 
  • I’m debating whether or not I should do NaNoWriMo next month. I keep wanting to write, but I never do. Maybe that’ll be the kick in the butt I need?
  • Reading about Harvey Weinstein makes me sick to my stomach, but I am glad to see that there are people who stick up for victims instead of blaming them.
  • I need outfit ideas for Halloween, it’s my second time dressing up and I’m going to a YouTube party so I need to look hot. Suggestions?

It hit him, then, how much he’d missed this. Most of his evenings had involved sitting down with his sister over dinner or hot drinks, chatting about their day or just silently enjoying each other’s company. He hadn’t done that once in the last three weeks. When he thought about the letter she had kept from him, there was still a faint surge of anger, but it was tired. He didn’t want to be mad at her anymore – though deciding that and moving past it were two very different things, and he often struggled with the latter.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do at the end of the month,” he said ruefully.

“For your birthday?” Urtica asked. “Or…” Coffea nodded his head to indicate that her second guess was correct. “I think… I think it’ll become clear. What’s hard for me is accepting someone has to go home – that I’m going to hurt someone, disappoint them, but… once I realised that had to happen… It became obvious who I’d choose.”

I do have to tell you that even if it isn’t important but it’s late and I’m drunk and I just thought about this girl. You know who I mean and then suddenly it hit me…

Ok first thing first. I do had a hard time to believe that nothing went on between those two, which was mainly the reason that I disappeared for a week or so because I needed some distance. And seeing all her stories on IG wasn’t helpful either but a hour ago or so I just realised what I missed in her stories and that was something productive. All I’ve seen over the last two weeks were pictures/stories from the beach. Sport. And spending time with friends. Not once has she done something of importance. Never. She is 24. Pretty. Sporty and probably a nice person but that’s where it ends. I haven’t seen anything she did what would wake some interest in David.

Can you remember the interview from last year when he talked about Gillian and said: “I appreciate her more than ever, all the time. And watching her grow- I’m not being condensing- but like, watching her grow as a person and an actor is amazing. I will say that Gillian is someone who has never stopped pushing herself and I really appreciate that.” Or when he says how proud he is about his children ?

Well seeing what she did the last two weeks wouldn’t make him proud of her or her achievements because there where none. And like I said it took me a while to see that because like a lot of you I just saw what I wanted to see and totally forgot what is important for David and what he appreciates in a person and this girls is definitely not one of them. I don’t know what the relationship is but let’s just say that when the history of Gillian and David started in January 1993, this girl wasn’t even born. She was like a foetus of 3 months or so.

The reason I had to write this down was to tell myself again that dating this girl isn’t David. He has done mistakes back in the days like we all did but he changed and definitely became a better person.

And I love him for that more than ever.

Dancing with the Stars Season 25 Week 1: Premiere Time

Sorry this is so late everyone. I’ve been dealing with a lot over the past few weeks and tonight, I just was not feeling up to writing this. On top of that, I missed a few dances and couldn’t find two of them until late last night, this morning. So yeah. As far as the scores go, the judges were extremely harsh. I wonder why they finally started to do some realistic scoring after 24 seasons of giving decently high scores during week 1. Anyway, let’s get started.

T.O. and Cheryl- Cha-cha (Score=15)- I think these two definitely got screwed over in terms of scores. Going first always sucks and when you see some of the dances that got higher later on, you realize that he could have had at least a 6 thrown in there. Maybe two. It wasn’t bad. It was actually pretty good. He has a ton of potential. His issue is his feet and trying to dance shorter than he actually is. I’m excited to see what he can do once Cheryl fixes those issues.

Debbie and Alan- Foxtrot (Score=17)- I think Alan did a great job with his first first dance of the season. Debbie seems like the type of partner that can get in her head a lot and forget things because of it. The dance itself was nice. Her top line seemed stiff and her hold was slightly off. But she’s got a lot of potential. She can definitely dance. I worry about whether or not she made a big enough impact to stay around. With the scores so tight, I really wonder. I hope she stays but I’m not so sure.

Sasha and Gleb- Cha-cha (Score=18)- I’m not sure if I entirely agree with this score in comparison to T.O.’s. I think Sasha can dance. However, she moves very small and very timid. And that cut some of the impact of her cha cha. She did everything right for the most part. I just saw a lack of confidence in her. I do think that the score may save her though. If she had gotten even 1 point less, I don’t think she’d be sticking around through Monday’s elimination.

Drew and Emma- Foxtrot (Score=16)- Drew is a very charismatic person. And he also actually has some musicality that I was not expecting. His issue is his technique. This dance was all over the place technically speaking. His hold was bad and his feet were hard to watch. His hands were doing some weird things too. I think he can still go pretty far, but I doubt it’ll be to 4th place. But Emma will definitely be able to show him off well, despite all of those challenges that I listed.

Barbara and Keo- Salsa (Score=14)- Eek. Okay. This was really hard to watch. I mean Barbara was having fun and the routine itself wasn’t that bad. But the side by side parts and those faces that Barbara was making really made me uncomfortable. She seems to hear music better than I’d expect from her, but her technique was gawd awful. I’m not sure if she’ll stick around. Normally, I’d say yes. But I’m not sure who she’s gonna be able to take out. Maybe Debbie? I’m not sure. I’d like her to stay but I’m seriously doubting it.

Jordan and Lindsay- Tango (Score=22)- This was the best dance of the night in my opinion. The choreography was amazing, Jordan’s technique was impeccable and the little things that he added in that I don’t think were choreographed, made the dance that much better. This is a partnership made in DWTS heaven and I cannot wait to see what all they have in store for us. It’s going to be a great season for these two for sure.

Nick and Peta- Cha-cha (Score=18)- Mm. So this was awkward. Nick definitely is not a dancer. T.O.’s dance should have scored about the same as this one. And he won’t be getting anywhere near the finals this season. I also think that he takes himself too seriously. He needs to lighten up. Because even though the show seems to want him to make it further than Vanessa, I actually think Vanessa will appeal to the fans way more.

Vanessa and Maks- Cha-cha (Score=21)- Yeah she’s a good dancer. Definitely better than her husband and she doesn’t take herself too seriously. I don’t think the dance was 21 worthy, but a 20 would have been just fine. Her weakness is going to be her pro. I’m not sure if this dance was the best to highlight her strengths and I’m not sure how long he’s going to be invested before he checks out and kinda leaves her out to dry.

Frankie and Witney- Foxtrot (Score=19)- As many of you know, I’m ready for this couple to surprise us this season. I don’t think he’s finals material BUT, Frankie and Witney put together a good dance. Frankie was doing everything that he was supposed to and it was mostly good. He was kind of stiff throughout his body, but I’ll chalk that up to nerves. This is a good partnership and I’m excited to see them grow.

Nikki and Artem- Tango (Score=20)- This was a strange dance for me. It wasn’t bad but it did not flow very well. Maybe it was the choreo or the song or Nikki’s nerves. Maybe it was a combo of all three. But it just seemed slightly off. It was one of the better dances of the night and Nikki will be a force in the competition for sure. But this dance was just not it. I do like her and Artem together. She also needs to work on not looking down as she dances too.

Derek and Sharna- Salsa (Score=18)- I told y’all not to sleep on Derek. Sharna was excited for a reason. Derek actually really committed to this dance. He doesn’t look to be scared to move his hips and really get into a Latin dance. And some of that footwork was actually complicated for a week 1 dance. He pulled it off incredibly well. I do think he may need to start selling the dance a bit more, but otherwise, Derek is another one that will make this season truly interesting.

Victoria and Val- Cha-cha (Score=19)- I just talked about these two a little bit in a response to that anon. But I think Victoria may be my favorite Val partner. He actually let her speak and didn’t answer questions for her, speak over her and all of the other things that he typically does with his partners. That’s number 1. Number 2 is that Victoria’s limitations is going to force Val to not be so rigid and learn how to be more fluid with his teaching. You can’t partner someone that can’t feel the floor and expect them to be able to do everything in the routine that you already prechoreographed. He has to really see what she can do and what looks good on her. I saw that he did that with this cha cha. And it was a decent cha cha. I did get scared at one part when it looked like Victoria jumped too far back. One thing that they have to work on with her now is the musicality. I don’t think she naturally feels music and I saw moments where she was ahead of the song. Otherwise, it was a great first dance.

Lindsey and Mark- Cha-cha (Score=22)- This was my second favorite dance of the night. Lindsey and Mark are going to make this battle between them and Jordan and Lindsay. Which is exactly what I was expecting. I will say that I agree with CAI’s comment about her shoulders. Idk what was going on, but it was something wacky that was throwing me off and keeping me from fully enjoying the dance. I’m super excited for these two as well.

So that’s it. That’s the end of night 1 of DWTS Season 25. Let me know what y’all thought of the premiere. Who were your favorites, who surprised you and who do you expect to leave? I’m thinking that Barbara may have the juice to stay for at least the first three weeks. Debbie and Sasha are most at jeopardy right now. But let me know what you all think.

Thank you for being so patient with me getting this up. I know it’s late, but I just had to get myself right before I came on here and wrote this out. 

And finally, thank you all for helping me reach 2,000 followers on here. I never expected for this blog to ever be seen by so many people and read by so many for so long. I started this 6 years ago as a way for an 18 year old boy in college to write about something he really enjoyed. I never expected all of this that has come with it. I really appreciate all of you and I’m forever grateful.

@taylorswift I’ve never written to you before, I’ve only quietly sat on the sidelines of the fandom and lurked (you know how that is), but today I really need you. I am heartbroken and devastated and alone. My boyfriend of ten months called me yesterday as I was getting in my car to go see him and told me not to. He said he met someone a week ago and fell in love and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Said he didn’t love me and was sorry. Two weeks ago he and I were planning a trip to NYC for New Year’s Eve so maybe I could see snow for the first time and now I’m alone and he’s with someone else. I love him so much and it hurts so badly. He won’t talk to me. I’m so lost and so confused. I miss him every second and don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve spent the last few days crying or sleeping. Taylor I’m so heartbroken. Since I was 10 years old you’ve been who I turned to when no one else understood and I know you might understand how this feels. I also know you probably won’t see this but I’m desperate for any kind of love someone might have to offer. All I want is him. I don’t know how to get through the next few months without him. We had so many plans. I don’t know what to do.

“Sing me a Lullaby”

Originally posted by reytonbleyer

warnings: none i can think of :)

summary: the reader and lucas barley hang it and he surprises her and she asks him to sing her a lullaby (i really suck at summarizing 😭)

requested: yes @sammmmmybb

word count: 929

___
         

(y/n)’s p.o.v

i was currently in my bedroom tossing and turning in my bed.

it was thundering outside and i just couldn’t fall asleep. it seamed as if i’ve been more and more sleep deprived as the days dragged on.

i usually slept in the arms of my wonderful boyfriend lucas friar, but since he was spending all his time at zay’s house catching up, that couldn’t happen anymore and i miss him.

i miss his hugs, his cuddles, his kisses, i just miss him whole.

the last time we talked was about two or three weeks ago. he had told me he would be coming home soon so i just let it be.

i sat up and decided to go find something to drink.

i threw the covers off of me and sauntered down the stairs.

i yawned and scratched my head. i walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge then checked the time.

1:46 am i shrugged. why just get a drink when i could get a head start on breakfast?

i took out a bagel and cut it. i placed it into the toaster and got out the fruit salad my mom had made yesterday.

i scooped some onto my plate and put the rest back into the fridge. i took out my bagel which had popped up from the toaster and went back to the fridge to get some strawberry cream cheese.

i spread some on both sides of the bagel and placed it back onto the plate.

i then proceeded to pour myself some almond milk.

i grabbed my glass and plate and tootled into the living room.

i plopped myself down into the couch and turned on the t.v. i waited for it to load then turned on netfix.

i started scrolling threw trying to make up my mind as to what i wanted to watch. after an extensive search i decide to re-watch riverdale.

it was our show- lucas and i.

i pressed play and watched as the t.v changed scenes.

i leaned back and relaxed when the sound of jughead’s voice flooded my ears. i listened intently almost as if i hadn’t seen the show before.

i watched as the pictures changed. going from a street, to a cemetery, to a school, to a riverdale sign, and finally to the blossom twins.

tears flooded my eyes as i watched the blossom twins hold hands and amble down the river bank of sweetwater river.

no, i wasn’t crying because I knew the doom jason was about to face but instead i was crying because i missed the company of lucas.

i wiped away my tears and looked back at the screen to be met with a gloomy scene. cheryl was sitting on the rocks drenched in water tears cascading down her cheeks as she ‘mourned’ her 'dead’ brother jason.

i sniffed almost feeing as if i were her. no, none of my siblings were dead but i was terribly missing someone.

the love of my life, lucas friar.

i continued on with watching riverdale while sniffing here and there.

i picked up my plate and began to eat my worries away. it seamed to help a little.

when my plate was empty i paused the t.v and went to go put away my plate.

i waltzed into the kitchen and plopped the plate into the sink not bothering to wash it.

i started to walk back to the living room when i heard a rasping on the door. i jumped, scared.

i slowly walked to the door grabbing an umbrella on my way.

i let out a shaky breath and reached for the door handle. i closed my eyes and counted to three.

i grabbed the handle and pried open the door.

“oh…my god” i dropped my umbrella and covered my mouth with my hand.

there stood my boyfriend drenched in water standing on my doorstep.

tears ran down my face as he walked in and closed the door.

“lucas?!?” i screeched finally being able to compose a sentence.

“i’m sorry for not spending time with you, i’m here now” he said smiling down at me. he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

we slowly pulled away.

"i’ll go get you some new clothes, i’ll be right back”

i pulled away from him and went to go grab some of his clothes that he had left here.

i got a sweater with some sweatpants and two towels.

i went back down the stairs and handed lucas the things.

he took them gratefully and went to go dry and change.

i sat on the couch overwhelmed with joy. i waited eagerly for him to return.

“i’m back”

my head shot in the direction of his voice. i smiled and watched him walk over. he sat on the couch and pulled me into his embrace.

we cuddle on the couch in silence until i spoke up.

“sing me a lullaby” i begged.

i felt the rumbling of his chest as he chuckled at me.

“alright what do you want me to sing, love?”

i pondered the question carefully.

“sing me twinkle twinkle”

i felt him shift a little before his rich alto voice sounded in my ears.

i closed my eyes and quietly hummed along.

and not soon after i fell asleep in the arms of my lover.

I feel like this was just the episode Build needed. It followed up on the story stuff from the previous episode, but it focused more on building the heroic personas of Sento and Ryuga as well as giving both female characters some much needed character wrinkles.

Sawa’s role as a reporter in Build’s corner is fleshed out a bit more and while I’m not too terribly excited to see a serious (acting) character with a bubbly alter ego again, my expectation is that the other elements of Misora (her powers) won’t be overtaken by her idolness.

The funky editing problems that hindered my enjoyment of the past two episodes seemed to be missing here as well. While there is some comedic speed ups and things like that, we didn’t see fights getting cut off like last week and that’s the way I’d like it to stay.

Above all else, the fights and suits were amazing and the comedy was genuinely laugh out loud funny. I’m excited for next week already.

#bbgprogress 💛💛@ourbalanceinprogress progress using my #bbg program 😍 She says “The picture on the left is 6 months ago and the day I committed to a program I had no idea would change me in so many ways. It’s been 168 days and two 12 week rounds of #bbg through the @sweat app. Call me an addict 😜but I’ve only missed 1 workout over the last 24 weeks. I just can’t help myself. I’m kind of obsessed with all aspects of the program and that’s what keeps me going! I ❤️ the mental strength the most that I have gained over the last 6 months. I have never been this strong in my entire life and love how that makes me feel 💪🙌💪. And let’s be honest, I don’t mind a bit the physical changes I’ve seen over the last 24 weeks" 🤗🤗www.kaylaitsines.com/app

Made with Instagram

anonymous asked:

Do you know any canonverse ereri fics that deal with the aftermath of chapter 84? Like in terms of their relationship. And preferably something with a happy ending, I can't handle angsty endings lmao

Thanks for the ask, Anon. :) I’m going to rec my own fics here, because I honestly don’t know of any others that deal directly with their relationship in reference to what happened in 84. In the last year or so I haven’t been reading a ton of fics since I’ve been writing a lot and I usually don’t mix the two very much, so it’s entirely possible I missed them. If anyone else knows of some, please add them. I’d love to check them out as well, and I’d hate to leave anyone out.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/696102 That’s a link to my series, As Time Stood Still. It’s comprised of three stand alone one shots I wrote for canonverse week earlier this year. The first deals directly with the aftermath (and honestly, that piece is my favorite thing I’ve written for this ship so far), and the other two follow with the subsequent building of their relationship. Happy ending included. <3

Update on my never ending fuckery.

I swallowed that coke on the 1st. It’s the 11th and I’m still sick. 

I think I managed to catch a cold at the same time I was od’ing and trying not to die. I’ve missed two weeks of work and dropped over ten pounds between vomiting EVERYTHING for a week and my tummy just not wanting any kind of anything in it for the second week. Eating just makes me tummy bloated and sore. I’ve been drinking milk and juice and gatorade and stuff to put some nutrients in me. I think I might make a smoothie for dinner tonight. I don’t know how much longer this will last and I don’t know of anyone who has experienced this and went through it without seeking immediate medical attention. I know everyone wanted me to go to the hospital but I just couldn’t. I”m either really stupid or my death wish is a lot stronger than I thought. I am quite in awe that I lived through it as I think many of you are too…

Anywho anyone have any advice on how to regain my strength, things to eat or drink to keep me nourished until my tummy can handle real food again, or just tips in general to feel better during this time?

It’s really kind of amazing how quickly I’ve transitioned back to the school thing, and how much I don’t miss my job. Like. At all. I’ve literally thought about it maybe a half-dozen times in the two weeks since my last day, and only in the “oh yeah I should probably check my e-mail and make sure nobody sent me anything important” way (which I then have a tendency to promptly forget to do)

And I don’t think I even realized how stressful that job was for me. I used to be tired all the time, and I thought it was just because I went to bed way too late. But honestly, I haven’t changed my sleeping habits at all: I’m still going to bed around the same time, I’m still getting up at fuck-off early in the morning because I have an 8:30 class two days a week and I’m having to commute until my apartment is fixed up (and getting up at different times every day really messes me up), but I’m not tempted to hit my snooze button even on the days when I don’t have to get up early, I don’t lie in bed for 20 minutes after my alarm goes off and then grudgingly get up when my backup alarm finally gets too annoying, and I’m not tired all the time. Or grumpy and pissed off at people all the time.

I mean, right now I’m tired because I should be going to bed, and I spend most of my commute internally screaming at assholes who don’t fucking signal when they’re changing lanes why is this concept so difficult and my back still hurts because I have shitty posture and should probably actually go see a chiropractor or something but

Fuck, I’m even ahead in three out of my four classes. I haven’t actually spent as much time on things as I planned to (because my goal now is to spend x amount of time per subject rather than get x number of things done per day, because that didn’t work before), but I’m ahead regardless. That never once happened the first time around, I was always scrambling to keep up and don’t think I ever actually finished all the assigned readings for a course.

We’ll see how long it lasts but damn. Maybe shit’s going to come together for once

Good things - finally got a provisional timetable off someone, and I haven’t missed any lectures, and I’ve got Monday and Friday off. And I’m going to hunt through old photographs in the library today.

Terrible things - haven’t got a text off student finance, like I should do this week, saying ‘here’s your grand’, now instead of having the money to last through to may, I have two payments of my rent etc (and not the other three), and £40 left over. Which is not dire dire, and I can probably blag off my nan, but I’m not near as good at budgeting as I think I am. Sooooo I need to contact the student finance people. Like now. Hopefully it’s sortable. And I need to get a job anyway, this has just pushed my timeframe to do so from ‘ehhh, in the next couple of months?’ to 'NOW, IMMEDIATELY, RIGHT THIS SECOND’

Heck.
I’m sure sure sure it’ll be fine, I’m going to find a computer so I can try and contact the student finance people in the next half hour before my next lecture.

If i have more than $100 I can’t budget to save my life but god can I make $20 last for two weeks I really need to get paid tho my skin is suffering since I haven’t had the help of Ms. Paula and I’m depressed and wanna binge because I miss my man and idk how to cope with things the right way I just want to die