The truth is, I’m hopelessly in love with you. I said it many times to you, and I’ll say it many times about you. I’m crazy, I’m obsessive, I’m needy, I’m protective, I don’t care. I fell in love with you, and now I don’t know how to fall out of love. Now I don’t know where to put the memories, how to shake the thought of you and the truth is I fucking miss you. God damn, I want to hate you, I want to feel my blood boil at the thought of you, but I have nothing to hate you for. All you ever did was shower me with love, how could I hate you for making me happy? How could I hate somebody so innocently perfect? I miss you, I miss us, I miss the way you used to look at me and I miss the way you talk. I miss your stupid walk and your gross facial hair, I miss the tiny little things that I used to tease you for because now I don’t get to laugh at them. I took everything for granted, I took our entire relationship for granted because I made up in my head that it was forever, that for once a boy wasn’t lying to me. And I was so damn stupid to think that, to fall in love as if there was no tomorrow because of course you were going to leave and of course you were lying. What do I have that is so special? Nothing, I got nothing. And now you’re gone, gone for good and I’m left here not knowing what the fuck to do. Not knowing where to place all this love and not knowing how to smile on my own. You carried me through so much and dropped me like I was nothing, like everything we went through was all just a dream, and I guess now I’m living a fucking nightmare
The signs as letters between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West
"Do you really love me? Much? Passionately not reasonably?"
"But I do adore you — every part of you from heel to hair. Never will you shake me off, try as you may."
"I always have such need to merely talk to you. Even when I have nothing to talk about — with you I just seem to go right ahead and sort of invent it."
"I wish I didn’t love you so much. No I don’t though; that’s not true. I am glad I do. I don’t know what to say to you except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you."
"Yes, I am glad you miss me, even if it is ‘damned unpleasant.'"
"You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I really don’t resent it."
"The flowers have come and are adorable, dusky, tortured, passionate like you—"
"I wish you could live in my brain for a week. It is washed with the most violent waves of emotion."
"You may have discovered entire new countries in your own soul."
"I find I get more and more disagreeably solitary; In fact I foresee the day when I shall have gone too far into myself that there will no longer be anything to be seen of me at all. Will you, please, remember to pull away the coverings from time to time?"
"I like the unreality of your mind; the whole thing is very splendid and voluptuous and absurd."
"I suppose it is good for the soul to be hurt and perplexed perpetually. I know at least that I miss you damnably: that is a good fixed star."
Hey could you please do an imagine where the reader and jimin are fighting and he says that he hates that she’s really clingy and he hates when she ‘steals’ his clothes and that hurts you but you didn’t show it and then you guys make up but you still thought about what he said so you stopped being clingy and stopped wearing his clothes and doesn’t realize at first but when does, he feels really bad and sad bc he loves when u are clingy and loves when you wear his clothes.
Your eyes followed your boyfriend’s annoyed figure as he paced around the room. Today must have been really stressful for him because since he came through the door he’s been nothing but on edge. A small thought in the back of your head told you not to pick a fight with him but another part of you knew that you didn’t need to be treated rudely because of something that effected him at work.
“Fine. Look, I’m sorry….Let’s just drop it..” You told him, sitting back on the bed.
Jimin stopped in his tracks, looking back at you.
“Drop it? Y/N this might not be a big deal to you but this isn’t something I’m just going to drop!”
You grew silent as you heard his voice raise towards you. He groaned, bringing his hands up to his face.
“All I’m saying is I can’t have you texting me all the time. I already got scolded once for responding during a meeting and I really don’t need to be on my boss’ bad side right now. It’s just- too much…Sometimes I feel like you’re always trying to talk to me about something and I need personal space. I don’t get why that’s so hard for you to grasp..” He mumbled.
“I just missed you. I didn’t think it was a big deal-”
“You didn’t think. That’s my point.”
You tilted your head, giving him a direct look.
“What the hell is your problem today? I already said I was sorry..”
Jimin sat down on the bed.
“There’s just so much going on right now and I just don’t need you always on me. Maybe we should take a break or something.”
Your eyes widened at the words you feared most besides, “I think we should break up”.
“You can’t be serious-”
You hand extended to hold onto your boyfriend’s arm but Jimin pulled his own away.
“I can’t do this right now. I can’t hear about how much I’m away from you, I can’t deal with you always stealing my clothes, or waiting for me to come home, or making jokes about me leaving you all the time. I’m tired of you being so clingy!”
The tears you were holding back started to well up on your eyes until your vision became blurred. You hadn’t realized how he really felt about all of this. You had just assumed that all those times you were missing him that he was feeling the exact same way. You stood up from the bed, sliding the hoodie of his that you were wearing and threw it onto the ground.
“Fine! I won’t be!”
Seeing you cry must have really hit a nerve in him because before you were able to head out of the door he stood up in front of you. He held you against his chest even as you tried to push him away.
“Wait. I didn’t mean it about the break thing. This went way too far and I crossed the line. I wasn’t trying to make you cry, I just got upset over nothing.”
He looked down at you but you avoided looking up at him as your head was now resting on his chest. He could feel your head move every time you sniffled, just giving him even more guilt.
“This isn’t really about you texting me too much. I think the lack of sleep and over working is just getting to me…I’m really sorry. I’m taking this out on you when it’s not even your fault.”
You felt his warm hands come up to your cheeks as he leaned your head up to face him.
“I’m so sorry…” He whispered.
Jimin used his sleeve as an attempt to wipe your tears off
and by the look in his eyes you could tell he really meant what he was saying.
You knew this sort of stuff was hard on him but you wish he wouldn’t hold it
all in until he explodes all the time. Nonetheless you accept your boyfriend’s
apology by giving him a nod.
“Seriously. If I ever do something like this again I really
wouldn’t blame you for leaving me.”
The worried expression on his face made you crack.
“I get it.” You let out.
Jimin gave you a light kiss on top of your forehead.
“Should we get ready to go out for dinner then? It’s on me.”
He said in a convincing tone.
Seeing the puppy eyes he was giving you, you gave in
“Alright.” You smiled, running off to get dressed.
Ever since that one fight things seemed a little off between
the two of you. He would do things that made you think he was still trying to
make up for that one day and even though it still bothered you, you wish he
would just let it go. You tried to be empathetic but you didn’t want him to
keep doing things just to keep you happy. You wanted things to just be normal
so you decided that maybe it wasn’t all just because of work. Maybe he actually
wanted space and was afraid to come to terms with it and tell you. From now on
you didn’t send him good morning texts at work, no checking up on him, no
telling him that you miss him or think about him, no more wearing his clothes
because their comfortable or smell like him, no more waiting for him to come
home in the living room, and no more random I love you’s.
Jimin also was taking notice of the new changes between you
both. He was, in fact, trying to do things to make up for what happened because
of how bad he felt. He’d bring home presents, take you out, try to text you
more often, and just overall praise you whenever you were around. The problem
was he couldn’t help but think you were mad at him still since you started to
distance yourself. That is until he realized the things he spewed off during
the fight between you. He wondered if you were distancing yourself because of
what he said despite him not meaning it. Jimin loved coming home to finding you
waiting for him or surprising him with how much you loved him. He missed seeing
you wake up wearing his shirt from last night or stealing a hoodie or two from
his closet. He never really noticed how much he loved those things about you
until they were gone. It was starting to drive him crazy.
As you’re sitting on the couch on your laptop you hear him
come home, shutting the door in a rush. You pretend to be uninterested, just
scrolling through your dashboard but you hear him walk all the ways over to
you. As his figure shadows over you, you look up at him.
“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what I can do to take
all of what I said back but I want to. I miss you like crazy and god, I love
you so much, you know that? There isn’t a second that I’m not thinking about
you and there’s not a second that goes by that I’m not reminded of you. I want
you to take wear my stuff until it smells like you, I want you to text me
during work to tell me what you can’t wait to do until I’m home, I want you to
just-…I want you to love me like you did before.”
Speechless you sit up from your seat to face him properly as
you push aside the laptop in your lap.
You hadn’t expected him to come home like this nor did you think you
were the one doing the wrong thing. You thought you were just doing what he
wanted but there was a hidden guilty pleasure from hearing him admit how much
he needs you. You decided to just tease
him a little bit more.
“Hmm, I don’t know. It’s just not really my thing anymore
and I think you were right. Somethings are just better left unsaid. I mean you
already know I love you, why would I need to tell you that daily?”
Jimin groaned, pouting like a child.
You crossed your arms across your chest.
Without warning you feel him cup your face like before but
instead of wiping your tears you felt the familiar feeling of his soft, full
lips being pressed up against yours. He took 5 long seconds to completely make
you feel as if you were going to melt in your seat just from one kiss. As he
pulled away from you, you saw the glimpse of seriousness in his eyes.
“I miss you. Please….just forgive me this once?”
Damn it. For once you thought you had the upper hand but his
dumb cute face and amazing lips had won you over again.