i miss this time so hard

Here goes. This is the weakest I’ll ever be with you. I’ve missed you. Some days not all. But I was fine, I was doing really okay and I think every time I’m doing my best that’s when you come and fuck it all up. You were a huge disappointment. You repeatedly let me down on days I needed you most, where I needed you to comfort me and just love me. You were not there for the longest time. So you can see why it’s hard to trust you again? Telling me I’m the one does not convince me as much as I want it to it doesn’t because you’ve crushed that hope of mine that YOU were the one and I was that to you. Because you don’t treat people that way you don’t when you’re in love with them. I can’t tell if I miss the idea of you or if I miss you. I’ve been crying a lot because you give me so much anxiety and I’m afraid of making the wrong decision. I hate that you’re doing this while you’re not here because I just want to see you I want to yell at you I want to hug you and I want to kiss you but I can’t. And the anxiety is eating me alive because I want to just call you and talk to you about everything. You know me I’m the kind of person that needs to deal with things at that moment. And I can’t do that yet. I’m really terrified. I don’t think it’s because I’m Afraid of how much I think I love you but how much you’ll hurt me next. Let’s face it, you’ll hurt me again. You do not know the pain I felt losing my best friend so many times and me always being so good to you. And now I leave for 2 Months and now I don’t want to anymore because I want to stay with you. What does that say about me really? That I let any person control my life? I want you to call I want you to talk to me I want you to annoy me because I really don’t want to stop talking until you come why can’t you fucking see that? You’re proving everything I’ve said about you and you don’t seem to care. and it hurts. You brought back all this pain and anxiety you don’t see that either. Im thinking about how I felt when you left every time, how you literally broke me. There’s no other way than to describe it that way. The night I called you drunk was because this guy kissed me and I instantly left and went home and collapsed onto the floor and just cried. All i wanted was you. It made me sick to my stomach kissing someone else. Im trying to believe you. Im trying to believe you’re different I just don’t see how that is true or how you will prove it. I think the number thing I hate about myself is that I am a pushover. I will always forgive you and I hate that. I hate that Im talking to you, I feel weak for even crying about you right now. But I want to get back to where we were. I want you to make me fall in love with you again, I truly do. I’m just scared Im so fucking scared of leaving now and I don’t know what will happen when Im gone. But were not talking right now, and I don’t know what I think of that. You’re proving me right, i hope you see that. So idk what I’m trying to say here I really don’t. But just call. Fuck, just call please. 

anonymous asked:

Isn't it funny how they're trying to rehab Rebecca's image, and yet (from what I've seen) Chrissie is the one getting more likable by the month? Rebecca redeemed a White... it just ended up being her sis lol

here’s my thing anon, here’s my stonking big problem with Miss Universally Adored Rebecca White:

(why do i keep making these posts im sorry)

It sort seems like they’ve tried to make her a sympathetic character by simply trying to take away her agency entirely. And this might not be accurate, because she is so hard to understand as a character. I don’t know how we’re supposed to take her? She gets a lot of moments where she’s sad about the sorry state of her life but also a lot of moments where she’s actively sabotaging everyone around her.

I can’t think of the last time she made a decision on her own, without anyone influencing her. Legitimately, I can’t. She’s either going by what Robert suggests, or Chrissie, or Victoria, or whomever is around her and… it just seems like she can’t do anything herself. And I sometimes wonder if it is designed that way to make her often underhanded actions seem less terrible, because poor Rebecca, she’s not the only one to blame, it was way more the fault of [insert this episode’s bully here].

A few random examples (and by no means an extensive list):

Robert is responsible for: the abortion(s), betraying Lachlan, betraying Chrissie (over and over), cheating on Aaron and Ross, getting Ross to blackmail Robert

Chrissie is responsible for: Lawrence turning against her, confronting Aaron about the kiss

Debbie is responsible for: getting Lawrence arrested

When is anything purely her fault? When does she ever make a decision completely on her own? Even he final decision to not have an abortion came after Victoria spoke with her. Is this a designed character fault (because it’s the most consistent thing about her), or is this a tactic the writers have been using to have us feel sorry for her time and again? Because it just makes her seem desperately, uninterestingly weak. And completely unable to take responsibility for herself. But this is a woman who we’re supposed to believe wants a child and would be able to raise a child? Are we supposed to be rooting for her? Are we supposed to understand that she’s weak and easily manipulated? But still always ready to get on her high horse about the wrong doings people have inflicted on and around her?

I just don’t know how they want us to take her and that’s a problem, because the way she reads on screen is completely at odds with how Iain and EH have spoken about her, and this might be bias from myself towards Robert but I really don’t think it is - I do try to look at things as critically and fairly as possible, even if it means condemning characters who I love or sympathising with characters I don’t. But I just…. I’m so confused by her. The character we’ve ended up with can’t possibly have been the intention, can it? And if it is, why does all the press around her suggest otherwise?

Were they just that determined to put her in the role of the person coming between one of if not their most popular couple and have people still like her that they’ve just forced it too hard - and how does no one know that that doesn’t work with audiences? I know it must be very hard to objectively see how something plays out when you know the entire story, supposed character motivations and context behind everything but… can they really not see it? If it wasn’t their intention, can they really not see how much they’ve failed and how desperately her character needs a complete 180 to have a hope of working?

It’s so confusing to me, honestly.

I know it probably doesn’t sound like it, but I don’t even dislike the character - when she’s cute and entertaining, I enjoy it. She’s got an interesting backstory (to me) - but the writing for her is so awful. It’s so inconsistent and contrived and honestly, I don’t like being told that I need to like someone, or sympathise with them - I’d rather be shown it.

And this is the worst part because the character doesn’t even inspire hate in me - it doesn’t inspire anything, particularly. I have complete apathy 90% of the time. The way she’s written and her role in this story make me so frustrated, but the character herself has so little to her that it’s just vaguely exhausting.

Chrissie, on the other hand, is written in a way where it’s very clear where she’s supposed to be in the villain role, when we’re supposed to sympathise with her, she’s been given layers, we’ve seen her be put through the mill first hand, rather than in retcon, in ways that she was completely innocent to. It’s easier to feel sad for her, to respond emotionally to her.

I mean, I know this is biased because Chrissie is one of my faves, but at least she plays defined roles in her stories, whilst still feeling like a complex and layered character.

I need to stop with these feeling outbursts 😌

~life updatee .. + hiatus??

Okay so I graduate next saturday from high school… idk if I should feel happy or sad bc I low key dislike school but as it comes to an end I miss it more. Also I’m job hunting so the time I already wasn’t spending here will be even more occupied plus I’m starting college soon. I have been trying to get into sims but it’s been more than hard for me to open the game and find something that makes me happy anymore, I’m like really sorry about that btw but my heart isn’t in it anymore. So this is kinda of a note saying I’m going on a semi-hiatus in terms of posting sims as if that already wasn’t obvious. I’ll still like and comment on stuff, also I’ll post art and life updates randomly and I may post sims stuff sometimes but don’t hold your breathe on that. I’m still here if anyone has any questions and what not I just feel like that sims/gaming faze of my life is escaping me and I really don’t want it but… yeah.

anonymous asked:

What is the "Morning Miss Universe" thing from?! I can't find it anywhere but it seems amazing! Where can I find it or what is it from?! Btw you account is the reason I live. Okay bye..

Thank you so much! For the record, lovely commenters like you are the reason *I* live, so I’m glad to hear that the feeling is mutal. <3

“Morning Miss Universe” comes from a blink-and-you’ll miss it line of dialogue from Sodapop’s shower scene which Steve says immediately when he accidentally catches Sodapop naked. Really.

Since it happens in an instant and is really hard to make out, I made a video back in late December/early January where I altered the audio so you could hear it better and put subtitles on it. Here’s a link so you can see for yourself (on my main, because I didn’t have this blog at the time). Enjoy!

anonymous asked:

Imagine Skype sex with harry while hes away on tour. Watching him sit on his hotel bed and stroke his thick cock while he watches you fingering yourself. He'd be moaning and licking his lips because every time you slide your fingers out of yourself to rub at your clit he sees them soaking wet and it makes his cock twitch in his hand and leak when he thinks about tasting you 'Wanna taste you so bad angel. Can you do it for me? Slip those pretty fingers in your mouth and tell me what I'm missing'

And…I’m dead….
He’s tugging on himself hard so he can catch up to your orgasms that just keep coming. And he’s tortured really…he can see it all but he can’t touch, taste or feel. You’re so pretty like this and he’s aching and he’s making a mess of himself…his cock leaking over his stomach and he’s nearly out of breath. And when you tell him that your fingers taste just like his tongue after he’s licked and sucked on you he groans loudly wishing he were there.

ughmadame  asked:

Earl Grey and Matcha are my favorites! So for the matcha one, it's really "hard" to answer but... How have you been?! We miss youuuu ❤

Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited?

Canada, England, Ireland, France, Italy, Vatican City, Jamaica.  (Io has a much more interesting travel history.)

Not asked, but the places where I’d like to go.  Japan definitely, Southeast Asia (Io spent time there, so I have an interest), back to Italy to see Venice, Czech Republic - Prague specifically… and so on. :D… oh and one day I want to take an Alaskan cruise.  I hear they’re gorgeous.

Matcha:  How have you been?! We miss youuuu ❤

The anxiety is getting better, thankfully.  So I feel more inspired to come back, not just queue up art to reblog.  I’ve still been writing, I’m a couple of scenes into the next chapter already.  I think fans of Viktor and Shuji will be happy. :)

On the health front… eh.  I’ve been better.  I have to look into having some surgery done in the next couple of months.  I want to put it off until after we take our trip to visit friends in the States. 

There are definitely a couple of drabbles that I want to write that are bysoti(d) related.  a Shouta & Shuji drabble among them.  So I might fire up Fighter’s Block to do that tonight.  we’ll see.  :D

<3 <3 <3 <3  I miss all of you too!

anonymous asked:

Is the Liam fandom really as small as I feel like it is? The Ryder/Liam tag feels like it hardly has new content and Rydam only has 100ish fics on AO3 last I checked. (compared to Ryder/Reyes having twice that.) For being such a sweet character with such a touching romance, I feel like I have to be missing something? Am I not checking the right tags, or did I really pick a romance option this unpopular?

It does seem to be a smaller fandom, compared to say Reyes or Jaal etc. I think that it’s also possibly hard to tell as of right now, because people are still feeling out romances. I know quite a few people who have a lot of intentions to romance Liam, just didn’t do so the first time!

I know that I usually get some pretty regular Liam content by tracking his name, but also the ryder x liam tag, and the rydam tag!

But the good news is that the people I’ve met through the fandom or people I know who romanced Liam and love him are all very, very sweet people. 

another poe/muran bit from the Massive Poe WIP

“Hey, buddy,” Poe says, and he settles into the chair at Finn’s bedside.

Finn does not react.

“You’re looking scruffy, pal. Maybe if Tee-Ex says that it’s okay, I’ll bring in my razor and give you a shave so you look tops when Rey gets back. I’m hoping it’ll be soon. I bet she misses you as much as you miss her.” Poe gives the unconscious man a hollow, tired smile. “I miss you both. But you’re right here, Finn. You’re right in front of me. Think you could open your eyes and give me some company?”

Nothing changes, although Poe didn’t really expect for anything to happen. Finn is so still, except for the rise and fall of his chest. It’s hard to believe that he isn’t just sleeping.

“This one time,” Poe starts, and pauses. His thumb finds his mouth and he bites at the nail without thinking, without remembering how black and bruised it is underneath and the pain when he pulls with his teeth makes him hiss. “This one time back in the Navy I got knocked out bad on a mission. My X-wing got hit by some shrapnel and went into a spin, and I crashed into an asteroid. I was able to eject, Beebee too, we were both fine, but. Then the X-wing blew and I got kinda crushed under one of the S-foils. Total bacta immersion. Uh, I’m working on following a lead to get you some of that stuff, bud. You’re gonna get better.

“But uh, so I was on this asteroid and I was stuck under a chunk of burning X-wing, and Beebee contacted out to my squadron for help. But it was a solo patrol, so help was a few parsecs away. I was a real mess by the time they pulled me out. So even after the bacta, I was in an induced coma for a while. I’ve been where you are, Finn. So—I think you can hear me. And I am pretty sure that you’re in there, and you’re thinking things over, and you’re taking some time for yourself. That’s what I did.

“And um,” Poe wipes at his lip again, but doesn’t make the mistake of biting, “when I woke up, my whole squadron was sitting at my bedside. Karé Kun, she’s still here, and you’re gonna love her; she’s a real bruiser like Rey. She was a handmaiden on Naboo before the Academy, and I don’t know what Stormtroopers learn about bare-hand defense, but Karé’s gonna kick your ass. So, her. And uh… Iolo Arana. He died at Starkiller. He was a good man; really funny. Just… he made Karé wet her pants laughing once; he did these impressions of everybody, and man, I wish you could have seen his Admiral Ackbar. I miss him, Finn. We’re gonna get all these new recruits, and… he just made everybody feel so comfortable right away, ‘cause he could make ‘em laugh.

“But uh, sitting right—sitting right where I’m leaving an empty chair for Rey, your right-hand girl, you know, was—” Poe swallows and looks down at Finn’s still face. The droids have been taking care of him, besides the scruff. Poe swallows again. “Anyway. The last person on my squadron—Rapier Squadron, it was called; I don’t think I said—Muran. Muran.”

Poe adjusts the blanket that covers Finn up to the chest. “He was the best. I met him right on the first day of the Academy. I was just this scrawny twelve-year-old, and I wanted to be a pilot so bad and I kinda thought I was already hot shit ‘cause I could fly an A-wing, right? But I was also really scared. And I’d never been away from Yavin IV. And I got so, so lost trying to find the mess hall by myself because I told my bunkie that I could handle it.

“So I’m wandering the corridors of the Academy on Hosnian, right, and that whole planet is—was—a maze. And I’m convinced that I’m just gonna be walking around in these duracrete hallways forever, trying to find some bad mashed tubers and mystery meat… and I just started sobbing. I wanted to go home. I could fly civilian corps without the Academy, and I just wanted to be where I knew where I was.

Poe presses his lips together, sniffs deep, and does not cry. He blinks. And blinks again. “Then this kid runs up to me and grabs my elbow like we’ve been friends our whole lives and starts asking me questions at ten lightyears a minute. And he steers me to the mess hall like it’s nothing, and nobody ever found out that I’d been crying. I’ve never told anyone, Finn. But that’s how I met Muran.”

10

“Love actually” + 13 years later

2

tbh these are still 2 of my fave homestuck doodles ive ever done
these are like probably 2 years old by now i think

2

MODERN AU COLLABORATION FOR SNS WEEK!!!!

March 22th, Wednesday - Friends and Enemies: “AU fanarts”, “AU fanfictions”, “AU quotes” and “Edits”. Friends and enemies refers to all other characters except for Sasuke and Naruto. 

Summer!SNS - Lineart (@kiraiki) / Color (@iin-desuyo)

Winter!SNS -  Lineart (@iin-desuyo) / Color (@kiraiki)

We decided that it would be really interesting to depict Sasuke and Naruto with contrasting themes of Yin and Yang by the use of symbols and colors to emphasize their parallel and opposite sides.

SNS-Week 2017

“I miss the handprint,” Cas blurts out one night. Dean watches as his face falls, like he instantly regrets saying it. Those bright blue eyes dart around nervously, like he wishes he still had the power to poof out of the bunker and just disappear.

“What, the handprint you left on my arm?” Dean asks, confused.

Cas nods, looking once again like he’s going against his better judgment, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat. He clears it and tries not to let his reaction show.

“Why would you miss that?” Dean asks.

Dean knows why he misses it. He misses the comfort it used to give him, the solace of knowing that someone saved him, that there was someone who would always save him, even if it meant literally fighting his way through Hell. And as long as he never discusses it with Cas, he can even pretend that it was a sign that Cas truly cares, and not just because it was his assigned duty once upon a time.

But why would Cas miss it?

“I…” Cas pauses and tilts his head as he considers his words. “It used to make me feel connected to you. Like you were m-” He closes his mouth abruptly. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”

Dean swallows hard, and with a heart pounding so loudly in his ears he can barely hear his own voice, he answers. “Like I was what, Cas? Like I was yours?”

Cas stares with wide eyes as he nods.

Dean steps forward, hands shaking a little, until their noses are almost touching.
“I am, Cas. Handprint or not, I’ve been yours.”

Cas exhales then like he’s been holding it in for a long time, and lets his hand run up Dean’s arm as he leans in, not stopping until his fingers settle in the place they belong.

2

Harry Styles’ solo album might be the most anticipated debut this side of the millennium. Following years as the bullseye in the global behemoth that was One Direction, the singer is taking center stage with a self-titled effort that’s a classic cocktail of psychedelia, Britpop, and balladry. If it was a color, it would be the baby blue of Jimi Hendrix’s Fender Stratocaster or the soft pink of Mick Jagger’s suit when he performed on “Top Of The Pops” in 1971. It’s rock and it’s roll, but it’s also soft and sensitive. Produced by Jeff Bhasker (Kanye West, Fun.) it’s a record that could force the position of mainstream radio by ushering in a reprise of proper music — ensembles, verse-chorus-verse, rich instrumentation, or, basically, Adele’s bag of tricks.

Despite the red herring of lead single ‘Sign Of The Times’ (it clocks in at just under six minutes in length), the album is a short shrift 40 minutes and contains ten songs that are largely about women. Unlike Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake before him, there’s a deepened millennial sensibility to being a leading man. Harry is a sensitive soul; A post-Drake phenomenon; A serious pop performer with enviable vocal chops and a gifted ability to convey a song’s emotional heft. He oozes class, ease and a sense of import without thrusting forth from the hips, or wreaking of a self-satisfied sense of boyband emancipation. Both respectful of his past and nervous for his future, “Harry Styles,” the album, looks both ways. - Variety

Read on for a track-by-track:

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Reasons the whole Land Before Time series is incredibly important and awesome

Even if the sequels aren’t grim as hell and don’t leave kids emotionally scarred

  • Teaches kids that we’re all equal and have anti-racism and anti-any kind of discrimination messages
  • Shows that it is usually adults who are the discriminatory ones and kids are fine until their parents teach them otherwise. Also that it is up to kids to make the difference when adults are “set in their own ways”.
  • One of the main characters is canonically neurodivergent. Spike was literally created to appeal to mentally disabed kids.
  • And none of the characters ever try to get him to change or act like them or differentiate them from him. (He doesn’t look like us, he doesn’t eat like us, yes but he still likes to play the way we do~) He’s one of the gang and they love him for who he is. 
  • Even when they find out he can talk they never pressure him into it, Ducky says he can talk when he wants to, and the point is never pushed again. Wow Spike is so important my beautiful autistic non-verbal baby I’m tearing up.
  • Also Spike is happily adopted!! And his mum loves him like the rest of her kids! But sometimes wonders if he should grow up in his own culture and wants what’s best for him and doesn’t stop him when he leaves with the other Spike tails in VIII wow A+ adoption.
  • Single parent families!!
  • Grandparents raising their grandchild and treating them like their own son.
  • Speaking of which the Grandnecks are SO AWESOME do you know how many Sharpteeth these two old people beat up in the series?? It is a lot. They are the most badass couple ever. And also adorable.
  • How Cera develops from “Threehorns are so much better than Longnecks” to “Littlefoot is my FRIEND and if you insult him I WILL FUCK YOU UP”
  • (possibly not in exactly that wording)
  • Teaches kids that parents do not always know what’s best for you and teaches parents that too.
  • “Yelling is no way to teach your child what is right or to show that you care.”
  • Although there is so much of parents (and grandparents) caring for their kids and showing that parents are there to look after you and are incredibly important.
  • But also mixed with the message that adults might claim to know better than you but this isn’t always the case, although it doesn’t make them bad people.
  • And sometimes you have to follow your gut instinct than your parents’ rules. Seriously these films are so important
  • Deals with terminal illness (that is cured by special yellow flowers)
  • In one film there is an orphan who looked after younger orphans until they were all adopted and was essentially aged out of the foster care system. He’s very bitter.
  • (And he ends up happily adopted)
  • PTERANO who is the best anti-villain (or possibly anti-hero) ever
  • He also has PTSD and is so well written
  • Not a lot of unnecessary gendering of the dinos
  • I mean Littlefoot has longer eyelashes than Cera.
  • And a few characters whose genders never get mentioned at all everyone can be trans and it’s so great
  • Mr Threehorn almost always has a good point, he just goes completely the wrong way in getting it across and he’s a fantastic character.
  • SUE who is the biggest sweetie in the universe and incredibly nice and a little shy. And steps on crocodiles for fun.
  • People hate the Yellowbellies but I get a lot of autistic metaphors out of them. I mean they’re not great at looking after themselves in some situations, but Littlefoot discovers they have their own survival techniques that he doesn’t have and their own way of looking at things and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  • The Yellowbelly “wise one” is non-verbal and also makes friends with Spike and it’s the cutest ever.
  • Shorty thinking Cera is awesome. The most fragile ego in the world validating the other most fragile ego in the world.
  • When the kids decided to raise a baby Sharptooth.
  • Tria is an absolutely wonderful step-mother.
  • the
  • best
  • songs
  • in
  • the
  • world
  • That time when six kids and four adult Longnecks had an EPIC FIGHT SCENE with three Sharpteeth.
  • They have so much heart
  • (Also at one point there are aliens)
You like to come and go in my life.
You disappear when you get scared.
You return when you need comfort.
And each time you come back to me,
I greet you with open arms.
I pretend everything is okay,
Because I don’t know when you’ll run away again.
I choose to forgive,
Because I don’t want to fight.
Then you leave again, without notice.
Leaving me in the dark.
Leaving me in the shadows.
Leaving me in the quiet.
Each time you disappear,
It gets harder and harder,
Instead of easier and easier.
—  Why Is It So Hard To Love You?
Goodnight Texts: ReggiexReader! Oneshot

Hey guys! I dunno, I had this idea but I’m not too happy with how I executed it in this oneshot. More oneshots will be coming soon so sorry if this is bad!

Summary: (Y/N) can’t sleep so decides to text her boyfriend Reggie. This slowly turns into a mini sexting session.

Warnings: NSFW, I guess? Allusions to smut. Cussing.

Originally posted by joeck

(gif not mineeeee)

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