i miss primeval now that i come to think of it


Series: Apocalyptic

Title: Warrior Princess

“I really wish you wouldn’t go,” My father, King Ezekiel stated, helping put a bag in the back of my vehicle.

I sighed, cracking my neck, “Dad, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself,”

“I know… just watch yourself.”

I nodded, “I will,”

Seeing the both of us stand next to one another, you’d think we were brother and sister or even cousins, but that wasn’t the case.

I was the product of a teen pregnancy. Mom was 14 and Dad was 15.

I’m 32 years old now, at least from what I could tell by the calendars that we had laying around.

Dad patted my back and walked with Carol to the infirmary.
Arriving at Alexandria, I was on the mission to check up on their weapons. The last that was heard, the Saviors took all their ammo and artillery, leaving them with just a few knives.

I had my own stash of guns that I was willing to give them. Rick was very apprehensive when I told him, but I was going to deal with Negan and the Saviors if need be.

“When are they suppose to be here?” I asked Rick.


I nodded, “Listen, I will take care of this, don’t worry.”

Harsh knocking on the gate made the folks outside jump.

“Speak of the devil,” Rick muttered, as we went to the gate.

He opened it, a small army all standing behind Negan.

Negan’s grin stretched wide when he saw me.

“Well hello there!” He said, bending back slightly.

“Negan,” I folded my arms across my chest.

He walked through the gate, stepping as close to me as possible, but I wouldn’t dare flinch.

“Where ya been? I missed ya,” He said, biting his lip.

I rolled my eyes, “Come off of it Negan,”

“Oh baby, I would. Just name a time or place,”

“That’s enough!” Rick growled.

While still looking at me, Negan’s brows furrowed as he addressed the irritated sheriff, “Now was I talkin’ to you Rick the Prick?”

Rick chewed on his cheek.

Using his finger, Negan bounced his hand in Rick’s direction, “No, no I was not.”

“Let it be, Negan.” I warned him.

Again, he got in my space, practically rubbing his body on mine, “Or what Sweetheart? What are you gonna do?”

My eye twitched and my nostrils flared. I spund around, calling to him over my shoulder, “A word in private, Negan!”

“Oh, I do hope the Principal gives me a spanking!” Negan said, gleefully.

I walked into Alexandria’s armory, slamming the door shut and locking it as soon as Negan was inside.

He pushed me against the closed door, his hands going up my shirt, palming my breasts as he attacked my neck with nips.

“Fucking turn on, baby,” he growled.

“You… can’t… be… doing that shit!” I panted, holding on to his waist.

I felt his tounge draw lazy small circles on my pulse, making me ache for him, even though I knew it wasn’t right.

Just as I was about to moan loudly, a sharp knock sounded on the metal door.

“Goddamnit!” Negan cursed, backing away from me.

He manhandled his hard length, readjusting himself as I fixed my shirt.

“Y/N!” Rick called, knocking again.

Negan’s chest heaved as he pointed to the door, “I’m gonna kill that mother fucker!”

“No you’re not, Christ almighty!” I hissed, trying to fix my bra.

The rest of the time, Negan pouted in between running his tounge over his bottom lip and giving me dark sultry looks.

As soon as Rick went on his way, Negan was all over me again.

He was rough and damn near primeval, “I want you so goddamn bad, baby.”

I groped him, giving him a good squeeze, “Not here.”

I leaned over and whispered into his ear, “Meet me out in the abandoned house outside the gate.”

“Fuck,” he cursed on a breath, “I’ll fuckin’ be there, baby.”

I gently pushed him away, going about my business as if nothing had happened, “Oh I know you will,”

Turning to face him, I quickly lifted my shirt, flashing him my breasts. I laughed as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Later on that night, long after the Saviors left, I snuck out to the worn down house.

The wooden floor creaked, my weight nearly too much.

“Took you long enough,” Negan said, scaring the hell out of me.


His dark chuckle told me I was in store for  some rough lovin’.

He came over to me, pausing when loud gurgling could be heard from outside through the broken windows.

Two walkers spotted our shadows, fumbling over their rotting limbs to get to us.

“Shit!” I yelped, pulling a hunting knife from my belt.

Negan grabbed my shirt, yanking me back, “If one more mother fucker interupts us; dead or alive!”

More walkers surrounded the house, knocking on the dilapidated wood and broken windows.

“You’re lucky as shit that I brought this!” He said, shoving my beloved sword at me.

“What the!? How the fuck did you sneak off with this!?” I demanded, pissed.

“Don’t give me that look Buttercup! I was gonna fuckin’ surprise you!” Negan had to raise his voice over the loud noise.

“What!?” I yelled, the house creaking badly.

“I had it sharpened for you! Merry fuckin’ Christmas, Happy Goddamn Birthday and a Happy fuckin’ New Year!”

My face went slack at his admission. Awwww! Negan was being such a softie!

Dirt fell from the ceiling as the wood began to crack.

“Open the door on my say so!” I twirled my sword, mindful of the freshly sharpen blade.

Before I could count, I grabbed a fistful of Negan’s white tshirt and yanked him down to me. Our kiss was hard and harsh, basically us telling each other to be careful.

“Don’t fuckin’ die on me.” He said, before going back to the door.

Though our communities were vastly different and the circumstances not at the very best that they could be, we still cared for each other.

“Same; don’t be a dick and leave me alone,”

He nodded and waited, Lucille at the ready.


He yanked open the door, letting in tens of walkers.

I swung my sword left and right, lopping their heads either completely off or in half. The fell in a heap, giving us enough space to run.

It was difficult trying to make our way through the decaying bodies. I hated to say it, but we had to split up.

“Go to gates and tell them to let you in!” I shouted.

“Fuck that fuckin’ shit! I’m not leaving you out here alone!”

I shoved my sword through the eye socket of a walker that had snuck up on Negan.

I pushed him away from me, “Do it, NOW!”

“Shit,Y/N!” I heard Negan yell as I took off running.

I jumped, yelled, screamed and even threw shit at the undead, egging them on to follow me.

I found a cliff not too far from Alexandria, where some had fallen over. Others had advanced towards me and I had no where else to go.

By the time I had finished with them, I was covered in head to toe with blood. My already curly hair hung in wet, blood stenched ringlets.

My eyes even began to burn because of the smell.

The lookout above the gate of Alexandria shouted for the others.

I shuffled my feet, my body aching from the exhaustion.

The gate opened enough for me to squeeze my body through.

“And just what the hell were you doing out there!? Where the hell is Ezekiel’s daughter!?” Rick barked out.

“You might want to watch your fuckin’ tone Rick the Prick.”

Rick looked over Negan’s shoulder at me, promptly making Negan spin around.

I stood, my body swaying. Slowly, as the last little bit of adrenaline left me, my body began to shake.

Negan ran to me just as I passed out.
“What’s the name of that one show?”

“Shit kid, which one? There’s a fuck ton of shows.”

“The one with the woman. She had a battle cry and sword.”

“Xena: Warrior Princess,” I croaked out.

“Holy shit!” Negan jumped out of his seat, “You scared the hell outta me woman!”

“What happened?” I asked, wincing.

“You were covered in guts and gore.” The kid said.

“Beat it,” Negan told him with a lift of his chin.

The kid scurried out of the room, his sneakers squeeking on the floor.

“How the fuck are you, baby?”

“Sore. My body feels like dead weight.”

“Dehydrated and exhaustion. Scared the flyin’ fuck outta me.”

“Sorry,” I whispered.

Neagn leaned down, his signature grin showing his edible dimples, “Have to say, you did look hot as fuck.”

“Shut up,” I snorted.

“Serious as shit, baby. Had me rock hard! When you get healed up, I’m gonna fuck the ever lovin’ hell outta you.” Negan vowed.

He chuckled, “Make you scream like that warrior chick.”

“Xena,” I laughed.

“Yeah, Xena,” Negan chuckled, dipping his head down to kiss me.


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Eagle Two

for darkthestars​ and tommygirl007

“Eagle One to Eagle Two. I’m in.”

Darcy can’t quite contain the childish excitement of whispering into a walkie talkie as she slips into Tony’s wardrobe. Which, as befits a billionaire diva playboy, only fits the most basic definition of the word, in that it holds clothes.

That’s kind of the only similarity, actually.

The ‘wardrobe’ is roughly the size of a small one bedroom apartment, and is better stocked than your average Macy’s. Darcy almost forgets her mission for a moment, enviously taking it all in.

“‘Eagle Two’?” Loki grumbles into his matching walkie talkie. Darcy put him on lookout outside of Stark’s room - once she finally convinced him to go along with this, that is. He doesn’t seem to have any difficulty using the device, despite his earlier complaints about ‘primeval Midgardian technology’ (his words, not hers).

“What? Is there a problem with eagles?” Darcy asks.

“A problem with truth, justice, and the American way?”

Loki’s dry laugh is distorted, and it comes out sounding like Hal dying.

Not that he doesn’t have a point…

“Whoa there, Yankie Doodle. Why so bitter? You aren’t upset that you don’t get to be Eagle One, are you?” Static. “Loki?”

“I thought you said we had to use code names.” The God sounds distinctly put-out. “Why am I even helping you with this?”

Darcy ignores the question.

“So you are upset. That you’re Eagle Two.”

“I’m not upset.”

“Are, too.”

“I’m not.”

Darcy begins to pour the contents of a packet of itching powder along the collar of each shirt she sees, careful to keep her fingers far away from the stuff. Her conscience winces at the desecration of an entire season’s worth of Armani probably worth more than her entire college tuition, but this is what happens when certain superheroes start listing potential baby names for your children… with your crush. The brooding Norse God crush who isn’t really a crush because that would be ridiculous and hopeless and idiotic and why on earth would Darcy ever like him, anyway? Right?

Cue forced laughter.

“Eagle Two?” No response. “Dude, tell me you’re not pouting.” Still no answer. Darcy has to resort to drastic measures. “Poor ickle Loki-kins…”

“Don’t call me that,” he snaps.

“Tell me, is this about always coming second to your bro-”

“Not my brother.”

“Whatever, Loki.” A pause. “Well is it?”

“Is it what?”

Darcy shakes out the last of the powder.

“About coming second to Thor?”

“I didn’t agree to this to be psychoanalyzed, Miss Lewis.”

“Don’t call me that,” she echoes.

“I refuse to say Ea-”

“Well, you could at least call me Darcy,” she mutters, clearing her throat. “Fine. So you don’t appreciate my choice in code name. How about…”

It Happened Once In a Dream?

Once? Darcy’s subconscious scoffs. Make that 'on a biweekly basis for the past four months.’

Been There Done That is just inaccurate - well, there was that time at Tony’s Christmas party, but it was dark and Darcy had probably ingested more tequila than is ever advisable, and honestly, she thinks she might have been hallucinating the whole thing.

Currently Doing That is, sadly for Darcy’s lady bits, a laughable impossibility.

“Currently Saving You, maybe?” Darcy hears, and she jumps when long Norse-God arms reach around her, tugging her back into a rack of suit jackets.

She almost drops her precious walkie talkie.

“Sh,” Loki whispers, clapping a hand over her mouth right before Darcy can squawk and give away their location, and then he’s teleporting them back to the lab right as Darcy catches a glimpse of Tony Stark rounding the corner.

“High-five for teamwork!” Darcy says, jumping up and down in the empty lab while Loki watches her disapprovingly. Well, she assumes it’s disapproval on his face. Or maybe amusement, ’cause he’s smiling and Darcy doesn’t know what that means.

“Will you explain the meaning of ‘Eagle Two’ now?” Loki asks.

“Like in Parks and Rec?” Loki stares blankly. “‘From now on we will be using codenames’? Did your Earthling cultural sensitivity training not cover the greatest television show of our time?”

His silence is answer enough, and before Loki can get a word in edgewise, Darcy is physically dragging him out of the lab, down the hall, and into the common room while ranting about his severely lacking education.

Netflix is already fired up by the time the God has made himself comfortable on the single usable part of the couch (he sniffs disdainfully at the pile of newspapers covering the rest of the cushions).

Darcy grins evilly.

“And so it begins…”

One morning much, much later, Thor will ask Darcy if she knows why his brother was humming something about five thousand candles in the wind while in the shower.

Darcy will mock Loki mercilessly for it until he finally takes her out for brunch just to shut her up. (Stark’s idea.)

It will be a date, but she won’t know that just yet.

As she tucks into her waffles, Darcy will sigh contentedly.

“Why would anyone ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”

Loki will get the reference this time.

“People are idiots, Darcy.”

Even later that day, they’ll kiss.

And it will be sticky and sweet, tasting like strawberries and maple syrup… and it will be perfect.

MTVS Epic Rewatch #113

BTVS 4x22 Restless

As I was about to watch this episode, I wondered how I should go about recapping it. What should I talk about? How could I even begin to analyze a television masterpiece that has been analyzed and dissected to death? Is there anything left to say about Restless? The answer to all of these questions is “I have no idea.” But of course, I must try. 

That being said, this recap will be slightly different from the recaps I usually write, at least format-wise. And maybe content-wise? I don’t know. You read and be the judge. (but don’t judge too harshly…) (also you’ll probably be reading things that have been said a million times before - a vague disclaimer’s nobody’s friend, you know?)


The episode opens with the “previously on” and cuts right to the credits. This is the very first clue that something is about to happen, that this is no ordinary episode. It’s a way to tell the viewer: “pay attention, you’re in for a ride.” When there’s no teaser in a show, you can’t help but think “oh oh, what is going on here?”. This is especially true for a show like BTVS. 

We are used to BTVS’s season finales being all about the big fight. But we never get to see the aftermath of the battle. What do the characters do right after they’ve defeated the Big Bad? In this episode, we finally get a glimpse. They basically netflix and chill. And they’ve definitely earned it. 

While Anya’s and Tara’s absences are not explained, Riley’s is. I guess this is because he was actually in the battle, and therefore deserved his chill time just like the Scoobies. Of course, plot-wise, Riley’s presence would’ve defeated the whole purpose of the episode (he would’ve been the only one awake and therefore would’ve tried to wake everyone up while they were in their dream state.) So very conveniently, Riley has to leave for some debriefing. Moreover, this episode - much like Primeval - was all about the Scoobies, so there was no reason for Riley to have a prominent role. So thank you, Joss, for ridding us from Riley - even if we still couldn’t get rid of dream-Riley. 

I appreciate Joyce pointing out that she had “finally” met Riley - although I wonder if she actually even knew there was a Riley in Buffy’s life before this episode. I also think it’s a step up from her usual parenting ways to cut Buffy some slack. She’s not giving Buffy a guilt trip over her cutting her off from her life for the past year. She gets it, and accepts it. However, I wonder if Buffy ever regretted not having Joyce more involved in her personal life after what happens in season 5 - but I guess that’s a discussion for another season.

This is one of the cutest Scooby shots in the whole show, okay? The snoring!!!

Willow’s Dream

  • Identity

Willow’s dream is as much about who she used to be as it is about who she wants to be/is trying to be/will be. We have witnessed Willow’s journey and even though she’s come a long way since Welcome to Hellmouth and her status as shrinking violet, she fears that deep down she still is that person. In her dream, her stage fright represents the idea that she’s just been pretending to be someone she’s not - the overconfident, open-minded, magic-savvy girl on campus. So Willow’s biggest fear is that her cover will be blown. It doesn’t help that she’s been called on her weaknesses throughout the season ( Buffy: ”Will, let’s be realistic here.  Okay, your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty.” -  Spike: “And Red here (…) You can take the loser out of high school, but…(…) I just don’t want pity from geeks more useless than I am.”)

This will be part of Willow’s arc from here on until the end of the show. Willow will continue to struggle with who she was - or what others made her to be, and it will be one of the reasons she goes dark. ( ”I’m not your sidekick!” - “ “The magicks I used are very powerful. I’m very powerful.” - “If you could be … you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be?” - “Let me tell you something about Willow. She’s a loser. And she always has been. People picked on Willow in junior high school, high school, up until college. With her stupid mousy ways.”)

The dream is also about her new-found sexual identity and love for Tara. Tara urges Willow to leave for class, but Willow argues that she doesn’t want to leave the literal and metaphorical cocoon of their relationship. (”I never worry here. I’m safe here.” “I don’t wanna leave here.”) I guess you could interpret this as Willow not wanting to face people’s judgement on their relationship. At the same time, it means Willow will always consider Tara and their relationship her haven. It makes sense, then, that once Tara is taken away from her, she goes off the deep end. 

Quite aptly, the First Slayer tries to kill Willow by draining her soul (Willow was the spirit during the spell.)

Key Quotes:

  1. TARA: They will find out, you know. About you.
  2. BUFFY: Your costume is perfect. Nobody’s gonna know the truth. You know, about you.
  3. WILLOW: The play’s gonna start soon, and I don’t even know my lines.
  4. BUFFY: Why are you still in costume? (…) Willow, everybody already knows. Take it off. (…) Oh, for god’s sake, just take it off. (…) That’s better. It’s much more realistic.
  • Foreshadowing

Dawn’s arrival

TARA: I think it’s strange. I mean, I think I should worry that we haven’t
found her name.

WILLOW: Who, Miss Kitty?
TARA: You’d think she’d let us know her name by now.
WILLOW: She will.She’s not all grown yet.

Tara’s “secret” (revealed in Family)

TARA: You don’t know everything about me.

Willow’s and Tara’s relationship (from the poem written on Tara’s back)

For even if she flees, swiftly she will pursue;
And if she does not receive my gifts, she will give;
And if she does not love me, swiftly she will love,
Even against her will.
So come to my aid now,
Release me from my grievous cares, fulfill as much
As my heart yearns to be fulfilled: come, be my

Xander’s Dream

  • Identity

Again, Xander’s dream reflects his past, present and future self. What connects all of his selves is his perpetual insecurities, feeling of inadequacy and lack of direction in life. Xander can’t help but compare himself to his peers, and he always find himself lacking. The basement - the place in his dream where he inevitably always ends up in - is his metaphorical and literal prison. He’s stuck in life - he doesn’t have a career (unlike dream-Spike who has become Giles’ apprentice,), a college education (unlike Buffy and Willow, whom he believes to be “ahead of” him), a steady job (he gave up becoming a watcher, apparently, to drive the ice-cream truck) or any kind of intelligence/skill (Giles and Anya speaking to him in French show how stupid he feels when he compares himself to the rest of the Scoobies.) It’s very fitting that Snyder gets a prominent role in his dream - Xander feels all his friends are moving forward and he’s still stuck in his high-school self, and Snyder never missed a chance to make Xander feel stupid and inadequate. 

We also get a glimpse into Xander’s home life. And it’s not pretty. Domestic abuse at the Harris’s had been hinted at before, but it was never as explicit as it is in his dream sequence in this episode. Xander is again stuck in the basement, and he looks up to the door and understands he doesn’t want to perpetuate his family history. That doesn’t mean, of course, that said history won’t haunt him, as does his father in his dream.

There’s also an exploration of Xander’s fantasies, which is fitting for his character. This isn’t the first time - and it won’t be the last - he’s indulged in fantasies. He dreams that Joyce tries to seduce him, that Willow and Tara are putting on a show for him and asking him to join them (and they are portrayed pretty much like all lesbians are in porn targeted at straight males,) and that Anya encourages him to sleep with other women. In spite of the icky factor in his fantasies, they make sense. When Snyder asks him where he’s headed, Xander simply replies that he must meet Willow and Tara, and possibly Joyce. This means that since he doesn’t have a clear direction in life, he takes refuge in his fantasies - his fantasies are all he’s got at this point because real life has turned out to be very disappointing so far and he thinks he doesn’t have anything to look forward to in the future.

The First Slayer rips his heart out because he was the heart during the spell.

Key quotes

  1. XANDER: No, no. It gets better. I remember that it gets better.
  2. XANDER: That’s not the way out.
  3. BUFFY: I’m way ahead of you, big brother.
  4. ANYA: Do you know where you’re going?
  5. WILLOW: I’m way ahead of you.
  6. GILES: Now, the others have gone on ahead.
  • Foreshadowing

Giles and Spike in Tabula Rasa

GILES: Spike’s like a son to me.

The Shark in Tabula Rasa

BUFFY: Like a shark.

XANDER: Like a shark with feet and … much less fins. 

SPIKE: And on land!

Anya becoming a vengeance demon again

ANYA: I’ve been thinking about getting back into vengeance.

Xander’s and Anya’s non-wedding (or his inability to start a family of his own)

DAD: No. You don’t understand. The line ends here with us, and you’re not gonna change that.

Giles’s Dream

  • Identity

Once again, past, present and future are intertwined in Giles’s dream. Giles’s dream sequence begins with what he used to be - a watcher. In his dream, he tries to teach Buffy, but A) she calls his teachings “old-fashioned” and B) she laughs it off. I think this represents both how he feels about himself and how he perceives Buffy sees him. But if he’s no longer her watcher, then what does he have left? His role as Buffy’s father figure. Of course, being a father figure and being a father are not the same thing. And Olivia pushing the baby stroller (and later crying right next to it) represents the path not taken and his neglected/unfulfilled personal life. It’s easier to call your friends your “family” when you’re in your twenties than it is when you’re in your forties and with no actual family of your own. These are issues that Giles will struggle with throughout season 5 - when he comfortably slips back into his watcher role because it’s safe and it makes him feel validated - and season 6 - where he feels he can’t no longer put off having a life of his own to take care of someone who he thinks needs to take care of herself. (that’s a discussion for another time.) Giles is torn between his life with Buffy and the Scoobies and having a life of his own.

Spike’s and Giles’s antagonistic relationship is also explored in his dream. 

Since he’s the mind of the Scoobies, Giles is the one who figures out exactly what’s going on - and in doing so, he performs (quite literally) the best exposition scene he’s ever done in the show. 

Of course, the First Slayer chops his brains off.

Key Quotes

  1. GILES: Don’t push me around. You know I have a great deal to do.
  2. GILES: What am I supposed to do with all of this? SPIKE: You gotta make up your mind, Rupes.  What are you wasting your time for?
  • Foreshadowing

Giles becoming a watcher again

GILES: Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind. Don’t stick out your elbow.

Spike as an “attraction” in Checkpoint

SPIKE: I’ve hired myself out as an attraction.

Giles trying to off Spike

GILES: I still think Buffy should have killed you.

Anya adapting as a human (and Giles’s role/support)

GILES: She’s doing quite well.

Buffy’s Dream

Buffy’s dream mostly centers around her identity as a slayer and how different she is from those before her as well as her journey from here on. Throughout her dream, Buffy’s main goal is to find her friends. They are, after all, one of the reasons Buffy’s different from all other slayers - she’s not (at least literally) alone. At the same time, much like in the dream, she will often consider them a burden as much as one of her strengths. 

As regards her relationship with Riley, I think the fact that most of the things he said in her dream were non-sensical represents their inability to communicate properly and to be open with each other. Their relationship was always physical with not much underneath. 

Buffy is confronted with the nature of her powers as a slayer - the primal, killer instinct that comes from demons. Time and again, as she’s repeatedly done so far, she challenges these notions. She won’t be defined, she won’t be ordered around - she’s the one calling the shots and deciding what it means to be a slayer. Slayernes might have been thrust upon her, but Buffy chooses how to define it, how to make it her own. And her fight against the First Slayer (which is so awesome, btw.) represents her fight against the Council/the traditional views regarding Slayerness. She will continue to explore what it means to be a Slayer throughout season 5 and season 7. Her journey, after all, hasn’t even begun. 

Since she’s the Hands, the First Slayer tries to defeat her in battle. But Buffy’s strength as a Slayer doesn’t come from her fighting skills - it’s her challenging nature and her determination not to be ordered around and manipulated and her sass the things that ultimately make her win the battle. It’s all about the girl, not the Slayer.

Key Quotes

  1. TARA: You think you know … what’s to come … what you are. You haven’t even begun.
  2. RILEY: Hey there, killer. 
  3. BUFFY: I am not alone.
  4. BUFFY: I walk. I talk. I shop, I sneeze. I’m gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There’s trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don’t sleep on a bed of bones.
  • Foreshadowing

Dawn’s arrival

BUFFY: Faith and I just made that bed.
TARA: For who?

TARA: Be back before dawn.

Buffy’s death (reference to Faith’s in 3x22 “counting down from 7-3-0″ - that is to say, 730 days or two years to Buffy’s death in 5x22 - now, a year later, the clock is “wrong” since there’s only one year left before Buffy’s death…)

BUFFY: It’s so late.
TARA: Oh … that clock’s completely wrong.

Joyce’s death

JOYCE: Oh, hi, honey.
BUFFY: Why are you living in the walls?

Riley leaving

RILEY: …if that’s the way you want it. I guess you’re on your own.

“Death is your gift”

TARA: I am destruction. Absolute … alone.

Buffy going after (and rejecting) the source of her power in Get it Done

BUFFY: You’re *not* the source of me.


Their conversation after they wake up - in which Giles explains that their “joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the Slayer’s power was an affront to the source of that power” - pretty much sums up why they could never use that spell again. Otherwise, they would’ve used that spell every time they had to face a Big Bad from then on. And there wouldn’t be any more stories left to tell.

Buffy admits she’d never given any thought to the fact that once upon time there was a Slayer who was the first of her kind. This is one of the reasons she will try to learn more about the source of her powers throughout season 5. 

And just if we hadn’t caught on the fact this was very important information, the episode ends with Buffy going to her room and recalling Tara’s words in her dream: “You think you know what’s to come, what you are, you haven’t even begun.”

After thoughts

I think it’s an understatement to say that Restless was a bold choice for a season finale. One of BTVS’s trademarks had always been (and would continue to be) its epic end-of-season final battles against the Big Bad. I mentioned on my previous recap that it made sense to deviate from the standard season finale in this particular season - considering the main arc had been messy at best and boring at worst. Would you want season 4 to be remembered by Primeval, Adam and the Initiative, or by Restless?

I didn’t talk about the Cheese Man before because he doesn’t have any meaning himself in each of the dreams. Personally, I’ve always interpreted him the way Joss intended him to be interepreted - he’s that one random thing that pops up in your dreams and makes you go WTF? but also “Oh right, this is a dream.” There are a lot of shots in this episode that embody that oniric quality, but none of them drives the point home as much as the mere presence of the Cheese Man. (I know a lot of people ascribe him some deeper meaning, I’m just not one of those people.) 

More importantly, he serves another purpose, and this is why I think Restless is a masterpiece in characterization. Joss argues that if you’re trying to make sense out of the Cheese Man, that means that all the other things he included in this episode about these characters already made sense to you. And that’s a testament to how well written his characters were, as well as how well written this episode was in particular. Even if it’s all just a dream, everything just makes sense, or if it doesn’t, we can read into it and understand how it will make sense in the future. We know these characters, we know their weaknesses and strengths, we know what makes them tick and what scares them we know the show often foreshadows events to come and we know it pays off to pay close attention. So if you’re only looking for meaning in the Cheese Man, that probably means you’ve been paying attention all along to everything else and you don’t need anyone to break it down for you.

This episode is rich in foreshadowing. Some things were clearly intended as such in their conception - the hints at Dawn’s arrival and Buffy’s death. Others, it’s not clear whether they were originally intended to be foreshadowing or if the writers decided later on to retroactively turn them into a prediction of things to come. Either way, it works. This episode encompasses both the past, the present and the future of the show’s characters and events, and it’s a beautiful thing to watch. One of my favorite episodes ever. 

Beauty and the Beastie

Title: Beauty and the Beastie

Type: Beauty and the Beast AU

Chapter: One - Proposition

Fandom: Satan and Me

Pairing: Natan

Words: 2,136

Summary: Natalie was the “odd” girl in town. Usually found in a world of her own, wandering the streets without a care and while most found her positivity refreshing, they also found it uncomfortable. But it’s more than noticeable when she disappears from their lives only to find herself locked in a contract with the biggest baddest Beastie out there - the Devil himself. 

A/N: Hopefully I should be able to continue this. The frequency of the updates though I can’t guarantee. Started thinking about this the other day and couldn’t get it out my head so here we go! 

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The Light in the Dark

TITLE: The Light in the Dark

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Twelve

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being blinded in an accident while helping S.H.I.E.L.D., you live in the Tower with everyone but dread the way they treat you like a helpless child. When Loki arrives on Midgard to carry out the rest of his sentence he becomes curious with your condition and how you manage to read and such. Over the months the two of you grow closer than the others thought possible. You come to love him without ever seeing him. 

RATING: Teen and Up

“She likes you.” You smiled.

“Are you sure you cannot see?” Loki raised a brow as he looked at you, causing you to snigger.

“Yes, I am positive. But every time you come into the room, I sense her becoming somewhat positively anxious to go greet you whenever she is permitted; and to say she is not next to me, I am going to assume she is nuzzling you for a scratch behind the ear.”

“She has done so already.” He admitted, you smiled smugly at being told that. “Why do you trust me so much?” Your smile turned to a frown. “Why do you not worry about being here with me, especially now that I am armed once more?”

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Scanlan’s Songs

@Markus2002 asked: What songs does Scanlan sing? What are the effects?

Sam Riegel (and by extension, Scanlan Shorthalt) is a very musical individual. Below is the list of all of Sam’s songs, including his inspirational tunes, his trademark variations on real-world songs, and his harmonization with the mood music. Last Update: Episode 25

Total musical moments: 94

Number of times sang along to BGM: 7

NOTE: Due to popular demand, Scanlan songs will be regularly updated on this page. Enjoy!

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Rescue Me (Sam x Reader)

               Working at the local movie rental store wasn’t something you wanted to do forever but it still made an excellent job and for the time being you didn’t mind. Your job was actually quite easy, just check the movies back in and put them away. You’d worked here for three years and until recently you didn’t mind. But ever since Adam, this regular who wanted to take you out so bad it wasn’t funny, started coming in you dreaded working and would often ask one of you friends to cover while you hid in the back from him.

               You noticed he would show up at other places you went, when you started avoiding him at work. He suddenly shopped at the same stores as you, ate at the same places and even went to the same car wash. When he cornered you and asked you again in the middle of the grocery store, and you’d turned him down again. He got angry, yelling things about how you thought you were too good to date him, how you thought you were too pretty to go out with him. You panicked; and that was the first night you’d ever felt too scared to walk to your car alone.

               You’d thank the security guard who walked you to your car and drove off; what scared you even more was the headline in the next morning’s paper.


               You began to avoid Adam even more, of course you had been questioned, but when two FBI agents came through to question you; you couldn’t help but let your heart hammer at the sight of the taller one with Shaggy hair. His hazel eyes gleaming toward you as he smiled; “Miss Y/L/N I’m agent Donte, this is my partner agent Landis. Would it be alright if we asked you a few questions?” he asked grinning at you. “Please call me Y/N, and of course” you looked over at your coworker and held up a hand. “Follow me” you said leading them outside. Once there, you shoved your hands into your apron pockets and looked at the two tall men. Agent Landis wasn’t bad on the eyes either with his bright green eyes and sandy brown hair; but he didn’t hold a candle to Agent Donte. “So what can you tell us about the security guard that was killed after walking you to your car?” Agent Landis asked you as you shrugged slightly. “Uh, his name was Bill and he’d been a security guard at our local store for years. When my mom was still alive they were friends and he would always carry her bags to her car for her.” You said folding your arms.

               “So is that why you asked him to walk you to your car that night?” Agent Donte asked. You looked away taking a deep breath. “Uh no” you cleared your throat. “It’s nothing, just uh this guy won’t leave me alone” you admitted looking down. You hated to bring it up but maybe it Adam really had done it. “Well who’s the guy?” he asked shoving his hands in his pocket. Agent Landis gave him a quick glance before looking back at you.

               You explained how he had begun to stalk you and how he cornered you at the store and screamed at you. That was why you had asked Bill to walk you out to your car that night. “Why haven’t you filed a police report?” Agent Landis asked suddenly. You looked at him before looking down and shrugging. “I don’t know….I just….haven’t really felt the need to, I probably should, but I can’t lose my job and if I make it to where a regular can’t come back in the store. My boss will have my head on a silver platter for sure.” You shook your head. “I’m sure it’s nothing and who knows maybe he won’t bother me anymore, listen I gotta get back to work. Are there any more questions?” you asked as they gave each other a look before Landis shook his head. “No, I’ll let my partner walk you back inside, just in case that guys in there.” You nodded as he walked away leaving just you and Agent Donte standing there. “Well, thank you for your help” he said leading you toward the door, his hand on the small of your back. You smiled at him; “Thank you Agent Donte” he smiled “Call me Sam, uh, here’s my number in case anything comes up or you need anything, call me.” He said with a shy smile. You smiled and nodded “I will thank you” you said as he smiled and walked toward their super nice car. “Classic, nice” you said going inside.

               That was the night that began your ever growing friendship with Agent Sam Donte. He worked tirelessly on the case involving Bills murder for the next three months. More people had shown up dead, all women, cut across the chest, tortured and then killed, in one of three ways. Strangled, stabbed or shot. Sam had filled you in slightly that they were all women who were working late, walking to their cars alone that had been abducted. By the time they were found the person doing this would already have a next target. He always asked you to be careful and that if you ever got scared to call him. He would be there instantly.

               Adam had stopped coming around so you felt better about working late. One night you had to close alone because your co-worker had gotten sick and couldn’t make it to work. You locked the doors looking around as you noticed an empty parking lot, accept for your car. You closed out the store and grabbed your stuff from the back office. You had an uneasy feeling, like you were being watched. You shook your head and pushed the thought aside, but you did call Sam.

               You couldn’t help but fall for the dark haired, hazel eyed FBI agent. He was charming, and sweet. He made you feel like butterflies were just tearing away at your insides. You’d forget to do anything when he was around, your eyes would forget to blink and your lungs would forget to breath. You couldn’t help how your heart pounded and your palms got sweaty just at the thought of him.

               “Hello?” his voice rang in your ear causing a small smile to appear on your lips. “Hey Sam” you said into the phone, you could hear he smile on his lips. “Hey Y/N, is everything alright?” he asked. “oh uh, well my co-worker called in tonight so I’m closing alone. I was about to leave and I just wanted to be on the phone with someone while I made my way home.” You said smiling some as you headed toward the front doors. “Y/N, wait inside, I’ll come pick you up okay?” you heard shuffling around and shook your head setting the alarm. “It’s fine, I’m leaving now Sam, I’m okay. No one’s out in the parking lot.” You made your way out locking the doors and walking toward your car. “Y/N, go back inside! Please” he said as you heard keys jingle. “Sam really, I just-.” Suddenly there was a crash on your end of the phone and what sounded like a struggle. “Let go of me! Ow!! Stop it that hurts! SAM!” you screamed out. “Y/N! Y/N!!” Sam looked over at Dean “we gotta go. I think the demon took Y/N” Sam and Dean had figured out that it was a demon going around and killing these girls. But the problem was they couldn’t figure out who it was doing it.

               When you woke, you were in an old warehouse. Tied to a chair with a pounding headache; you blinked looking around, you couldn’t make anything out. It was so dark apart from the moonlight that came through the holes in the ceiling. You blinked looking around again; you heard footsteps coming up from behind you. “Well, now that we can spend some alone time together. How about that date” you visibly flinched when Adams face came down next to yours. “I’ve missed you so much” he whispered, his lips ghosting over the side of your face. You felt your pulse speed up and panic struck your entire being. “Im so glad you decided to give us a chance.” He whispered in your ear, his hands running down over your chest before settling on your thighs.

               “Now, If I remove that tape are you going to be a good girl and not scream?” he said smirking as he grabbed the tape pulling it back. You stared at him before letting out a loud scream, a second later a fist connected with your jaw and you gasped spitting out blood. “bitch, what did I tell you?” You glared at him as he put the tape back over your mouth. “I guess we better get started then.” His eyes suddenly turned black and your eyes widened. “Oh what….never met a Demon before? Well its your lucky night sweetheart” he smirked picking up a large knife off the table and stalking toward you.

               You weren’t sure when it had begun and when it had ended. Your body felt like it was on fire, but you shivered. As the knife dug into your skin you would scream; It was the kind of scream that made your blood run cold. It pierced the brain and ignited some primeval pathway. You could tell he would get off on this; this was his addiction, seeing those who rejected him in pain. He smirked and walked back over to the table setting his bloodied carving knife down as he grabbed a pair of pliers and headed toward you. You shook your head pushing your chair away from him. He glared at you pulling you back with the movement of his fingers.

               “Don’t do that again” he said staring down with his coal black eyes. He ripped the tape off causing you to gasp at the pain. His dirty, calloused hand grabbed at your chin and opened your jaw. You tried to beg him, fresh tears springing in your eyes. “Aw, listen to you…no no please don’t hurt me.” He suddenly mocked your voice.  You stared at him with wide eyes as he gripped a tooth with the pliers. “Im gonna make you wish you were dead” he whispered, a smirk covering his smug look.

               Suddenly the door burst open and two tall figures appeared. “Well, I didn’t know you knew those damn Winchesters.” He stepped back removing the pliers from your tooth and smirked. Bringing them down forcefully he cracked them along the back of your hand, causing a searing hot pain to shoot through your hand. You screamed out as he grinned smugly. “Get away from her you son of a bitch!” one of them guys yelled, there was a big battle, and guns fired as dust was stirring up all around you. After a moment, there was a scream from another room and then it was silent. Heavy footsteps made their way toward you. You were positive Adam had killed your saviors. You felt a hand on your ankle and began to panic, you tried to move away from the hand when another hand began to untie your wrist. “Shh, hey look it’s me Sam” you looked at the man beside you. His hazel eyes shining with fear and worry; you were sure that your mind was playing tricks on you. “Sammy, shes lost a lot of blood” the man you knew as Dean said to him. “I know Dean; we gotta get her to a hospital quickly. He broke her hand.” “Here you take the impala, ill clean this all up” Sam scooped you up into his arms and carried you out to the car. Speeding towards the hospital, your eyes began to close. “No no, stay awake okay” he said lightly shaking you. “I……Im so tired” you whispered leaning your head back letting your eyes shut.