i miss lift walks

Borrowing - Calum Hood imagine

Haha I know I’ve asked you for an imagine already but could you maybe do a Calum imagine based off Borrowing by Halsey…? Thanks :)

“Please” I whisper desperately into the line .
“We can’t do this Y/N ” Calum sighs , his hands loosley cradling his third glass of beer.
“I miss you so much , i know you miss me too” I say softly , willing myself not to cry .
Calum is quiet for a moment
“It’s been months since weve broken up, i have a new girlfriend” He says , trying to convince himself more than me.
“I don’t want to worry about responsibilities right now . All i can think about is you . The way you kiss my forehead as i try to go to sleep , and the way you hold me close as if you’re protecting me from the world. I’m sorry i couldn’t love you the way i should’ve but i need you.” I cry , hearing his sharp intake of breath .
“Where are you” He says after a moment , and my stomach flutters rapidly .
“I’m at my place” I say shakily , running my hands through my hair .
“Y/N , i moved remember? I’m miles away” He says , and i bite my lip .
“Okay , i understand” I murmur , the fight slowly loosing itself in my voice .
“No wait-” Calum tries
“I get it Calum , i’m sorry for bothering you . This was pathetic of me anyways . Have a nice life” I finish , ending the call .
How could i have been so stupid?
I peel my clothes off and walk into the shower , before sitting in the tub and cradling my knees to my chest , letting my tears wash away with the water .
An hour later i finally get out and go to bed , trying to get the Australian boy out of my head.

**
Just as i was falling into a deep sleep i hear a loud knock on my door , making me jump in shock .
“Coming!” I say , who the hell .
As i open the door my mouth drops in shock , brown eyes connected with mine .
“C-calum”
Before i could say anything else he grabs my face and attaches his lips to mine and im lost , lost in the sensation , and the way his thumb cradles my face as he kisses me roughly , the way he turns us around so my back is against the wall , and the way my body has finally ignited , from the top of my head to the tips of my toes .
“Y/N” Calum deeply sighs , before kissing me again .
I wrap my arms around his neck and push us closer if its even possible , before squealing slightly as he grabbed behind my thighs and lifted me up.
He smiles slightly . “ I missed that squeal”
Soon he walks up to the bedroom , leaving us both in complete bliss
*********
I smile as i feel his arm wrapped around me , the memories of our time together clouding my thoughts .
I snuggle closer to him , his warm body making me feel safe.
I jump when i hear his phone ring , making him groan slightly as he wakes up and answers it .
“Hello?” He answers groggily , his eyes widening as the other person speaks .
“Hey baby” He says , clearly his throat slighty and not meeting my eyes . I look down.
“Oh me?” He asks , finally looking up at me.
I bit my lip , begging him with my eyes not to leave , not yet .
“I stayed the night at Luke’s , we were working on some tracks but i’ll be home soon” He says , and i smile slightly.
“I love you too” He says , and i cant help the way my heart drops.
“Oh my god” I say , moving away from his touch as he tries to pull me next to him .
“What? Y/N whats wrong?” He says , confusion laced in his voice .
“That girl! She loves you.” I say , suddenly feeling sick .
“She loves you and i just made you cheat on her. She probably woke up this morning , reaching for you and you werent there . She probably makes you breakfast in the morning , and wears your class ring or something cheesy like that. And here you are with me!” I say , disgusted in myself .
“Y/N-”
“I’m sorry Calum , im sorry for doing this , for breaking your heart and then bringing you back to me. You deserve to be with someone who is capable of loving you.” I say , the tears threatening to spill .
“Y/N stop , i want to be here , with you” He says but i shake my head .
“This isn’t right , you shouldnt have came , i shouldn’t have asked” I mumble
“Go back to her Calum” I say
“Y/N ” Calum sighs .
“Go”

Yo Budoblr! It’s Pants!

Just checking in on y’all for 2 seconds while my life is some semblance of calm. I’m still chuggin away over here, working on some personal goals before April rolls around. Week 2 of 9 and things are shaping up nicely in terms of routine and nutrition. The ice baths are effective as heck, but they suuuuuuuck (oh man, do i hate the cold OR WHAAAT). Thanks to  @jaxblade  for all the suggestions, hilarious videos and sweeeeet sweet tips!

SO PANTS WATS UUUP?
Training is going well- and lots of it! I’ve been doing some martial arts exploration lately, which is why I’ve been so sparse. It takes up mad amounts of time, on top of my gym workouts and regular karate classes.  Cardio is up, up, up for the time being. I miss lifting but it’ll come later (week 5). For now its walk, run, kata, roll, repeat.
The sparing in jj is really what’s keeping me satisfied most, I think. I got to spar and grapple with a muay thai peep last week. Crazy great experience. I got popped in the face and a real time getting a handle on their guard. It hurt XD;

I’m also stupidly in love with an amazing gal. Agh. It’s great. I feel dumb constantly and get stupid smiles on my face when I think about her. Or when she calls, texts or sends me stuff. She sends me stuff. It’s great. She’s one more reason for me to train my tail off. And that’s that!



Anyway, keepin it fun and real over here! @indomitablespiritfingers  tagged me aaaages ago for a stop-drop-selfie. So now you can all see the little blanket-nest where Pants usually crashes at the end of the day (with my super cheese-wall quote to boot). And also, birb-shirt!

Train hard, Budoblr. I’m over here rootin for yehs!

Living the Non Fitblr life

As much as I try to stay active and eat healthier, I haven’t been working on it like I should.

I feel like I am making up for lost time. After all the years spent waitressing, and just making it by money wise, I am finally treating myself. Although, the vacation has been going on longer than I want. 

At this point, I have woken up at 8:30am for the past four days. Eaten whatever I want. Not worked out. And I do not feel good. As happy as I am to be doing what I love and making more money, I want to physically feel good. I am tired of being easily winded when going for walks and runs. I miss being able to lift heavy and the soreness of my muscles after a good workout. 

I really must make a change because I am not happy with myself. I have been letting myself go for far to long.

I need to do this. I want to do this. I can do this.