i miss it a lot mann

Live-Action TF2 Casting: NPCs

Ashly Burch as Miss Pauling

I had a lot of trouble finding someone initially who I thought would be good for this role. I have an issue with the dull sameness I see in most young, pretty actresses, but then someone suggested the lady who’s Miss Pauling’s actual voice actor, and it was like YES OF COURSE. She’s adorable and perfect!

Ellen McLain as The Administrator

Going off of the logic of using Ashly Burch for Miss Pauling, I thought the Administrator’s VA would also be a likely fit for the screen! Her voice is so integral to the character that the thought of having someone else imitate her is just distasteful to me. All you’d really need is good make-up and wardrobe.

Sirs Ian McKellen & Patrick Stewart as Blutarch & Redmond Mann

CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING IMAGINE. I wanna see these guys have a ridiculous slapfight over gravel. They’d ham it up so good.

Sir Anthony Hopkins as Gray Mann

This is the dude to play the creepy brother, for sure! It’s ANTHONY HOPKINS. Do I really need to justify myself here?

Nathan Jones as Saxton Hale

Saxton Hale is a larger-than-life adventure man, so I went with another wrestler, possibly the largest Australian man alive today. He’s 6′11″ (2.11m), and he definitely has the chops to handle such an over-the-top character. He was in Mad Max: Fury Road, for god’s sake!

Gwendoline Christie as Maggie

I knew I needed someone who’d be able to stand next to Nathan Jones without being completely dwarfed by him, if their relationship were to feel believable. I finally settled on Gwendoline Christie because I know she’d be able to handle it, having enjoyed her as Brienne of Tarth on Game of Thrones. Not Australian, but I’m sure she can fake it.

Laura Prepon as Zhanna

Okay, hear me out. First off, once again I needed a taller actress if she wanted to be believable as Heavy’s sister. My pick is 5′10″ (1.78 m) tall, which was the minimum for me. I also just have a real soft spot for this actress because I watched so much of her on That 70′s Show back when it was airing. I’m certain she could do Zhanna justice, including a suitably exaggerated Russian accent. You’d also need her to bulk up a bunch, put on some extra fat and muscle, but that’s pretty reasonable, right?

(Oh, and she’s not so young that I’d be grossed out watching her kiss my Soldier pick, Randy Couture.)

Christopher Lloyd as Merasmus

Like with Zhanna, a lot of my reasoning for this pick comes down to personal affection, but how perfect is this guy, for real? He’s awesome at doing both serious & creepy and histrionic comedy roles, which is exactly what you need for a powerful yet somehow incompetent ancient, screechy wizard.


Anyway, those are all my picks. I could go deeper, but I nailed all the important ones. Go look at the #casting tag on my blog if you want to see all of the actors I picked, aside from these guys. I put way too much thought into it!

* . ‘゚。 ❖  ❛ dumb things my friends say ask meme. ❜

‘  I’ll know I made it when my name sits between Rosie O'Donell and Billy Crystals’ on the LI Walk of Fame situated at the LIE Exit 50-51 rest stop.  ’
‘  I hope my last words are, “Paul Hollywood’s a little bitch.”  ’
‘  How A TV Snob Came to Only Watch Reality Programming: An Autobiography Written by Me.  ’
‘  I’m emo first and human being second.  ’
‘  I want to obtain the level of confidence that people who aren’t celebrities and stream live on Instagram have.  ’
‘  How come dad culture is so wholesome but every dad I’ve met is a giant piece of trash.  ’
‘  I’m a dreamboat and a lover.  ’
‘  Have you ever eaten off a person?….I’ve always wanted to.  ’
‘  What’s the hairiest metal you listen to?  ’
‘  I don’t want your cider. What am I? A vagina?  ’
‘  I hate the south. I hope when terrorists bomb us they go to North Carolina.   ’
‘  You’re gunna play Eye of the Tiger right now while I’m trying to get drunk?  ’
‘  Stay away from kids…they’re like ‘oh I’m gunna fuck you up, I’m gunna cost you 30k a year’.  ’
‘  I’m really happy you guys are thinking about my cock.  ’
‘  When I first met you, I thought you were a total 90s kid.  ’
‘  I did not think I was going to buy a bong today. Every day is different. I can’t predict my day.  ’
‘  It’s always nice to just be sweating.  ’
‘  Can’t believe it’s already 24 hours since I was drunk and lost and accidentally sprinting away from my house.  ’
‘  Congratulations to Joey Chestnut for being the only American I am truly proud of.  ’
‘  Weird Al is the closest thing I have to a father.  ’
‘  The worst part about eggs is that they take roughly fifteen minutes to prepare but only 45 seconds to eat.  

‘  When will Pauly Shore finally stage a comeback into the world of dramatic acting like we’re all waiting for?  ’
‘  I can’t tell you why, but I shouldn’t have to pay for Legos.  ’
‘  Is everyone done saying spirit animal? Have you all had enough yet?  ’
‘  Make sure you remind all of the terrible people you know how terrible they are so they can at least be aware that they are terrible people.  ’
‘  Please stop putting foods on other foods.  ’
‘  No one should listen to anyone because clearly we are all right.  ’
‘  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, who let you back in this Quiznos?  ’
‘  I do a great Slavoj Zizek impression but I’m having trouble finding someone that cares.  ’
‘  I’ve spent at least one third of my life in traffic in New Jersey.  ’
‘  I’m terrible, thanks for asking!  ’
‘  Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone had to take improv classes.  ’
‘  Being in witness protection is an actual dream of mine.  ’
‘  How do I find a cheap and effective way of not feeling terrible all the time?  ’
‘  My new thing is finding ways to give myself fun and exciting headaches.  ’
‘  I didn’t ask for this nap.  ’
‘  How do I know if I’m doing the right thing? Will Danny Aiello tell me?  ’
‘  Very confused about how to handle the minute amount of attention I’ve been receiving lately.  ’
‘  Twitter should only be for aging celebrities in between jobs.  ’
‘  Richard Lewis is always eating lunch.  ’
‘  I’m so excited to add War Criminal to Trump’s wikiepdia page.  ’
‘  If I seem uncomfortable it’s because I am.  ’
‘  It took several tries, but I finally woke up today.  ’
‘  I haven’t been to the movies in weeks because an employee shamed me for seeing Rock Dog by myself.  ’
‘  I remember when I had a blackberry.  ’
‘  I spend too much time thinking about what motivates birds and not enough time sleeping for a reasonable amount of time.  ’
‘  If you are an adult please be an adult.  ’
‘  Why do I get the feeling I’m going to wake up tomorrow with several new headaches.  ’
‘  I hope everyone takes a moment today to remember Don Rickles and that there will never be anyone as quick as that again. ’
‘  If god was real, memes would be funny.  ’
‘  I’m calling it now, I’ll start complaining about the heat in less than a month.  ’
‘  Flat tires are a huge bummer but you know what else is? The looming threat of global fascism.  ’
‘  I hope that some day I can be as brave as the corporations that take a neutral stand against a benign oppressor.  ’
‘  Can a child be an artist? The answer is no.  ’
‘  You know why I like snakes? Because they don’t pretend to not be snakes.  ’
‘  Every day, Sugar Ray looks more and more like Sean Hannity.  ’
‘  The next big thing will be pretzels that are even smaller.  ’
‘  Graham Crackers are poised for a huge comeback.  ’
‘  Why does the Great British Baking Show make me feel a happiness I do not deserve?  ’
‘  Here I am, bright and early, already giving up.  ’
‘  There is no wrong way to consume peanut butter.  ’
‘  I watched a season 24 episode of the Simpsons by accident and now I’m different in a BAD way.  ’
‘  I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone for being myself.  ’
‘  Is it possible to shotgun a stack of pancakes?  ’
‘  If the reason I’m so tired all the time is because I stopped drinking coffee I’m going to be so pissed.  ’
‘  Honestly I’m just glad no one says “squad” anymore.  ’
‘  Acoustic guitars should be illegal  ’
‘  People are a real bummer.  ’
‘  I had to throw out a reclining chair this morning so no, I’m not doing too well.  ’
‘  Super into people calling me early in the morning so I can’t go back to sleep at all and can remain tired all day.  ’
‘  Emotions, so relatable.  ’
‘  I went to the crafts store twice today on purpose.  ’
‘  Rejected Schumer campaign slogan: “I Fuck With Chuck”.  ’
‘  Why puke when you can vomit.  ’
‘  If you’re still a coal miner, what are you, an idiot? ’
‘  For our country’s sake, I hope Rosie O'Donnell can play Steve Bannon on SNL.  ’
‘  Never in a thousand years would I have thought Melissa McCarthy would dismantle the White House Press Secretary on SNL but here we are.  ’
‘  I think the tactic is set as many fires as possible since the people can’t put them all out at once.  ’
‘  By far the worst thing about me is how much I love the Patriots.  ’
‘  Hyperbole is useless because there are genuinely terrifying things happening every 45 minutes now.  ’
‘  So airports are interment camps now?  ’
‘  I’m 99% sure Vanilla Ice could run this country every bit as well as Donald has so far.  ’
‘  Why did fascism have to make a come back and not frosted tips?  ’
‘  Julia Louis-Dreyfus is my favorite rich lady.  ’
‘  I can’t believe we have a president that isn’t a president.  ’
‘  I wish Harris Wittels was still alive to hear Bill Maher’s new theme song.  ’
‘  I change my mind about Shia LaBeouf eleven times a day.  ’
‘  Punching Nazis in the face is the only meme I endorse.  ’
‘  Real talk Weird Al Yankovic is the most talented musician in history.  ’
‘  I watched that video of that Nazi getting punched in the face about a thousand times and I tear up a little bit every time.  ’
‘  It is perfectly okay to punch Nazis in the face.  ’
‘  2017 to smell worse than any year on record.  ’
‘  Where are all the people that I don’t hate.  ’
‘  I wish I was married to Susie Essman so she could yell at me all day.  ’
‘  I’m only interested in Janeane Garofalo.  ’
‘  What’s your second favorite Law and Order?  ’
‘  Shout out to Aimee Mann.  ’
‘  I miss Prince a lot more than I expected I would.  ’
‘  I hope season two of the young pope has an even younger pope.  ’