hey, it’s been awhile. a um, really long while. and, frankly, i don’t really know what to say other than this: i’m putting this blog on hiatus until further notice. 2016 has been a lot for me, both school wise and health wise, and since then i have lost my connection to kera. maybe it’s just the overwhelming qualities of this blog such as it’s number of drafts, it’s number of followers, the people i once knew and the anxiety that comes with all of that, or perhaps it’s the changes that have gone on in this environment and in myself and in my writing, but as far as i know, i don’t think i will be returning to this blog entirely.
i’m really sorry it’s come to all of this. i really love kera with all i have, she’s very important to me, but i can’t keep her up any longer. it’s been two years, and, hopefully one day, i will be able to restart her blog anew and bring her back into the community. i really hope that i can bring myself to revive her status in my list of blogs in the near future, but for now i feel like it’s not right to do that.
again, i’m really sorry it’s all come to this. as i stated before, things have just changed too much here and within myself for me to be able to come back, but i do have three (and a fourth on the way) private ocs i will be reviving really soon, and they are available to those who are willing to ask for them ( i will be selective with the people i allow to have knowledge of these blogs, though, since they are meant to be private. )
i suppose that’s all i really have to say here. i’m sorry to leave this blog like this, but it’s been a wonderful two years. i appreciate how much you’ve all contributed into kera’s life as well as my own, and i will really miss being here. thank you for the 2k, thank you for the two years, thank you for finding an interest in my writing and my character. i wish you all the best, and i hope you all have a nice day/night/week/month and everything else. please take care of yourselves and remember that it’s okay to rest, that roleplaying is a hobby not a job, remember to take your medicines and drink water and eat and take a shower. don’t forget to take care of yourselves, mentally, physically, and emotionally, and just do whatever makes you happy.
thank you for sticking with me for so long. i’ll see you guys sometime soon, i hope.
I’ve received all contestants & all have made their way safely into my game & have been introduced to our bachelor. Just as a reminder - any missing or messed up cc has been replaced. If your sim looks off & you want to send me the correct cc, just message me. From here forward though, I will be changing any cc & clothing as needed.
I think I kind of hit the jackpot with my actual FP? He is so great!! He is understanding and loving and always considerate and I used to have such bad splitting and meltdowns over my ex-fps but with her I rarely do!
She respects me and doesn’t want to avoid me when I split! We always communicate and I feel so happy and content!! Every time I split on him I try to tell her, and when I told him I had BPD, she! Accepted! Me! On the spot! I’m honestly so happy and I’m so lucky to have her and *pause for breath* I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I could kiss her! He misses me, (not as much as I miss her, I bet, but hey, BPD) and loves me back and wow I sure talk a lot. He is worth it though. Message to all BPDs that think their FPs dislike them or don’t love them, or that doesn’t have a nice FP: if I was able to find a great FP, why can’t you? Your perfFP might be just around the corner, so just wait and see! All will be well in due time, my dears.
yo wtf mitch i just got my order today for my 'sleep' shirt and i was taking my necklaces off and accidentally pulled the collar on the shirt like /slightly/ and it tore?? now my shirt has a hole I'M SUING (not really but wtf my dude i'm disappointed)
dang, sounds like a defected shirt. idk why you’re contacting me about this…anonymously, in my tumblr inbox of all places. but if you want me to help you email me sometime. there’s contact info in the store, i’ll send you another shirt.
seriously though, please don’t send stuff like this over an anonymous tumblr message! i could have easily missed this
At this point I see that it’s better to simply dissapear for a while and stop trying to organize some spare time to hang around here. Too much stuff is happening right now around me, and all my energy has to be focused somewhere else.
I’m on a full hiatus until further notice. Hope that I will be able to lurk a little, though!
As usual, I’ve a request for all my mutuals: if we have a thread and you post your answer during my absence here, please, send me a message saying that you did. I would hate to miss any of the new replies!
Take care, everyone. I hope that everybody is doing all right! I’ll be missing the sight of my dash awfully. *deep sigh* ))
There aren’t many of you that I’m very close with, kinda like in my real life actually, but I miss talking to you.
I remember when I started this blog and started to meet some of you. It was over the Christmas break when I had 3 weeks off work and I had all the time in the world to just sit down, message you, and scroll through blogs.
I miss that. Real big. I want that back. I feel like I’m losing any little bit of a support crew that I had and that makes me sad… Even though it’s probably entirely on me for my busyness and struggle to be so active on here.
Sigh. I don’t know. I just feel sad tonight, I think. And I don’t want to be a lonely mum, at home all day with noone to talk to. I know I can write on here but it makes a difference when people care and talk back to you.
Small life update: I am alive, I’m just tired. Too tired to make a queue, too tired to answer messages atm but I will.
Work is exhausting and all consuming but good. Today I had a surprise six month eval (even though it’s been eight months, my department is the epitome of punctuality) and I am exceeding expectations, there was literally not a single bad comment on six pages of criteria, and, our director who I have been told by multiple people including my supervisor doing the eval does not give raises for any reason to employees still on probation, approved a small raise for me.
I am allowing myself to bask gently in the feeling of competence this has generated. I will probably be back to my usual brain hell and self doubt tomorrow, but for now I am good.
we aren’t together anymore, and haven’t been for a long time, but i still consider you the love of my life. never in a million years did i think i’d have such a secure relationship by the time i was sixteen. i never thought i would ever wake up every morning to an “i love you” message, or go to sleep every night knowing i was wanted. five months on and i’m still dreaming of what our future could’ve been like, and although some may say this is sad, to me it’s not. this is my way of reminding myself that we did love each other and we did plan a future together. it may be over, but i’m glad it happened.
Request box is open so please feel free to ask away!!
“I miss him so much” I groan flopping down on my bed.
My dad rolls his eyes leaving the room without a word, he was kind of annoyed with me because the entire day we were at the mall all I was talking about was; missing Nash , wanting to call Nash, Actually calling Nash and talking for thirty minutes and messaging Nash. I wouldn’t blame him though, although he likes Nash, he get’s annoyed when we are on our ‘daddy/daughter’ daughter day and all I’m thinking about is my boyfriend.
But can you blame me? I haven’t seen him in two months and we have been dating for nine months, it’s torturous! Especially seeing things on social media talking about him kissing girls and stuff, his fans tag me a lot trying to start an argument which never happens. Even though there was the one scandal about him and Taylor, with Taylor admitting she has a crush on him in a twitter status and Nash twitted her back saying ‘He’s honoured’ and everyone made a big scene out of it but I stayed out of it – I was pretty angry at Nash but I didn’t tell him anything. Because like mister the hell you so honoured about, don’t make me throw these hands boy, So I have all right to be thinking about him 24/7.
I sign staring up at the ceiling, I smile seeing the poster of Nash I nailed up there a couple of weeks ago. I was on my period so I started crying about missing Nash which Nash witnessed on Skype, He tried to calm me down but after he hung up I was still sobbing like a six year old. That same night I put the poster up and fell asleep watching him, don’t judge me! I just really miss him!
I was getting bored of just laying there and got up deciding to do a video for my YouTube channel; I freshen up my make up, and then put on one of Nash’s sweaters. I turn on the camera sitting back on the bed; I wave at the camera starting the video.
“Hi guys, welcome back to channel.” I smile at the camera imagining my theme song playing. I show my phone to the camera shaking it a bit.”So I’m doing a question and answer, which I haven’t done in a while” I tap the twitter app opening it; I open the status box before typing. ‘#asks[Y/N]’. Seconds after the questions started flowing in, another upside of dating Nash I got more twitter followers and YouTube subscribers.
I look back up at the camera and started answering some of the question. “What is your favourite colour,” I read rolling my eyes. “Oh my gosh, why do everyone ask that question? My favourite colour is Turquoise and Beige” I answered a little annoyed. “What do you think about Nash and Taylor’s secret affair?”
What secret affair? Little girl not today I’ll kill every Taylor in the world NOT TODAY.
I look up at the camera with a blank look. I reach in my side table draw pulling out my pocket knife. I flip it in my hand and point it at the camera answering that question. I put back the knife picking my phone up again.
“Next question!” I beam reading the next one. “Who is your favourite muser?” I pause for a few seconds thinking about it before answering. “Lisa and Lena, Last man, Annie from Bartayla and…..Cameron. Obviously “I scuff at the last part jokingly.
“Favourite Movie?” “5th wave” “Where did you meet Nash” I sign kind of annoyed by the amount of Nash questions that are pouring in. “I meet my baby a year ago, I was hanging out with my friend in the hotel room with the group, keep in mind I had no idea who Nash was at that point and we became friends after I calmed Cameron from freaking out about the cut on his foot,” I laugh remembering that day which were good and bad, good that I met Nash bad that I saw Cameron nude.
That was the single most grossed out moment in my life, I won’t lie he has a nice looking penis –No where near Nash’s size though obviously- but I really didn’t need to see it, ever! “Celebrity crush other than Nash” I look up at the camera blushing, “Nash baby don’t get mad at me-“I send a kiss at the camera before continuing.”Cody Christian, Dylan O’Brien from teen wolf and Tom Hiddleston,” I sign starting my little girl fanning moment. Taylor swift you man stealing bitch! I swear if she hurts him I’ll kill her ass. “I’ve had a crush on Tom since he played Loki in Thor years ago and Cody since Pretty Little Liars, my goal is to meet both of them before I die.” I sign before laughing at myself.
My phone vibrates in my hands; I look back at it seeing a tweet from Nash and instantly squeal little a little kid.”Hamilton!” I read over the tweet and blush. “[Y/N}, how much do you much your boyfriend” I smile covering my face with my free hand hiding the tears from the camera.
I miss you so damn much Nash! Words can’t describe how much I want you with me right now. I wipe away the tears quickly before tweeting back a crying emoji, I wait a few minutes expecting him to reply but he doesn’t. “Okay last question, what lipstick are you wearing,”
I pucker my lips at the camera absolutely loving the black lipstick. “Kylie of course!” I usually hate black lip stick but for some reason I absolutely love this one. I start feeling myself a little too much and swap twitter with my camera and started taking selfies, I was really getting into posing and practically modelling for my camera/ phone camera. My face looked like i was hit with the sexy stick!
Then the door burst open suddenly sending me feet in the air screaming while my phone flew out my hand, I grab my chest opening my eyes that I didn’t realize I closed in the first place. My hand moved from my chest to my mouth as Nash came into view; it took me a few seconds to come out from my shock state before standing on the bed and jumping on him. He didn’t brace himself in time which made us both fall on the plush carpet; he chuckled pulling me down on his chest kissing my head.
“Hi baby.” He says after I pull away. I grab his jersey pulling him up to sit, ”What are you doing here?” I asked even though I didn’t really care why once he was but then again he is suppose to be on set for his new movie. “I thought you missed me? I know you did because that wasn’t there before” he grins pointing up at his poster on the ceiling; he probably saw when he fell. I smile and just stared into his blue eyes, the blue eyes I fell in love with the moment I saw him. I didn’t realize I was crying till he reach up and wipe away my tears and some make up too- wow I’m crying a lot these days maybe I’m pregnant-. I was brought out my stupid thoughts when Nash presses his lips to mine, the kiss went from loving and gentle to needy and rough. I need him so bad right now and he knew it, with the camera long forgotten Nash picks me up walking over to the bed putting me down continuing the make out session.
“I love you Hamilton” “Ugh- [Y/N] don’t call me that,” He groans making me giggle. Gosh I love this boy so much, it’s unhealthy.
I disappeared for a few days, but I’m back now and I think I’m caught up on all my replies. I probably missed a few though, knowing me, so if I did just send me the link through IM and I’ll reply to it asap!!
ANYWAY, LIKE THIS FOR A STARTER FROM BLAINE OR SANTANA! IF YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE WHO FROM, JUST MESSAGE ME!
Okay so I'm just here as a person without any disorders and I don't understand how it is to have a panic attack, and I don't know how it is to have to deal with that, but one thing I do know is that you shouldn't feel bad about what happened. As you said yourself, you can't control it and given the situation I really don't think you should beat yourself up about it. I think that even though it happened you at least didn't miss all of it and that's a victory. I hope this helped. Goodnight.
thank you so much. It really does help and i really appreciate you taking the time to message me
im feeling a little better than yesterday. last night was just horrible, probably one of the worst experiences i’ve had in a long time, if not the worst. my stomach still feels stiff and my head still feels a little dizzy but i’m ok.
i have had a pet die in the family before, but he only lasted a year. it’s kind of a long story, but i loved him too.
this pet was 5 years, though. he hated me but he was my friend, hence why robertidk’s cover of ‘friends’ is kind of ruined for me now (whenever i think of my rabbit all i hear is that song, out of all things). and i miss him so much.
i’ll reply to stuff later, but i’d just like to say thank you for the lovely messages you guys have sent ❤️. i know it wasn’t completely necessary for me to have told the world about it right away but i was panicking and i needed to tell someone.
Hi I was wondering, is it normal for you to not answer all your messages/rec requests? I've sent so many in the past and none have ever been answered.. I think you've said before that you don't answer the rude ones but I don't think I've ever been mean. I understand if you just get too many though.
I’ve talked about this a bit before, but it’s totally normal if you’ve missed them. No worries. :)
I’ve decided to take more liberties with the fic requests i’ve been receiving becuse i don’t want reccing to feel like a job or a chore and some anons are just bumming me off way too much.
I want here to remain a happy place for me, so i’ve decided to only do the requests that inspire me, and makes me excited to share what i’ve read.
Which leaves a bunch of requests that i unfortunately can’t take, sometimes twenty or so a day. I feel like answering all of them would clog peoples dashes?
I can assure you it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s either because i don’t read the trope you’re asking for, or because i don’t feel motivated to make a list for it.
If you want to try your luck with other reccers @dictacontrion has a great list with an H/D reccers section. Much love.❤️
I’m not the only one whose back, but I’ll get to that in a second.
First, welcome welcome welcome to all my new followers! I got quite the rush of follows over the weekend, and though I haven’t answered all your wonderful messages, I’d like to say here thank you for following me, and I hope you enjoy what you see! Second, in case you missed, word on the street is I was lucky enough to be picked as an advocate for @sshannonauthor‘s The Bone Season series! Was over a bowl of ice cream when I got the email.
Quick announcement: SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING MESSAGES but real life is a boner, ain’t it, and it ain’t about that chill life, ya feel me?
Anyways. As an advocate, I was treated by the wonderful people at Bloomsbury to a early preview of THE SONG RISING and I’ve been given the okay to show you equally lovely guys and gals!
I just read the prologue to THE SONG RISING and now I get to share it with you! … unfortunately, I’m not sure exactly HOW to post it here, as it is in pdf. file and I’m clueless as to how to link that here. I’m gonna wait and see if the other advocates post it. In the mean time, I’ll post my thoughts and then link back to this post once I figure out how to post the prologue without making a big-ass post. Sorry about that in advance, guys! :(
Onto my thoughts!
!!! SPOILERS AHEAD !!!
The prelude picks up immediately where The Mime Order left off: remember that admittedly hair-pulling cliffhanger that left you screaming? Yah, that one.
I’m sure we were all shocked that Jaxon Hall was discovered to be the traitor from the colony in Sheol I that not only single-handed foiled the Ranthens plans to overthrow the Sargas, but was also responsible for the death of every human involved because he tattled. Asshole. But still. It is wonderful to see Jaxon again. He’s looking fabulous and smug in his new Scion threads and his apparent new bbf Nashira Sargas, whose quite please with herself as well.
Paige Mahoney (still in someone else’s body) is rightfully shocked, disgusted, and feels betrayal. Not just for herself, if at all, but for Warden’s scars and those that died, that were basically sacrificed, because of this gigantic asshole Jaxon’s actions.
Jaxon makes a subtle promise to Paige that a war is coming, a battle that she cannot win, even with the syndicate on her side. He offers her the easy way out: join the very people that would see her and her kind dead, the otherworldly creatures that would harvest her power and soul or die in a burst of flames from a war she has no hope of winning.
Paige chooses to burn.
Our Underqueen then returns to corpse and tries to wrap her head around exactly what the fuck happened a second ago and how much of a Grade A asshole Jaxon is. Whilst contemplating about her missed chance to stab Jaxon in the neck, her boo Warden arrives then joins her and Paige tells Warden that she knows who betrayed him and the other Ranthen twenty years ago.
The prelude really gets the blood pumping and leaves you aching for the first chapter. I mean, you can’t really just leave it after an opening like that, right?
Jaxon Hall is still the wonderfully posh, poetic-speaking bastard that makes him oh-so-delightfully Jaxon. I do hope we get to see more of him in The Song Rising. His (seemingly never ending) speech about joining the Anchor and burning was enjoyable but leaves quite a bit of questions that can be asked. What is Jaxon’s history with Nashira Sargas? Obviously he’s the traitor from the first uprising in Sheol I that sold everyone out, but how did they come into contact? And what were the circumstances of Jaxon being brought to the colony in the first place? Interesting little fact to think on: twenty years ago Jaxon Hall first published On the Merits of Unnaturalness. Could his pamphlet have been a reason he was brought to the colony? He wrote it under the pen name An Obscure Writer, but I’m sure the Scion’s SVD and NVD would have no problem finding out the identity of the writer. Has Jaxon Hall truly been an ally of the Rephaim all this time?
If so, I want Paige to punch in his smug, drunk face.
Speaking of Paige, also equally happy to see our little Underqueen! Even a harsh beating in a battle to the death won’t get her down. She gets right back to work, starting with the beginnings of her rebellion and threatening Nashira Sargas because of course she would. She’s Paige muthafuckin’ Mahoney. No doubt I’m with Paige on this one in her anger and betrayal. This is a man she trusted, that raised her, nurtured her. She was his right-hand (wom)an. Only to discover that her ex-boss is actually an asshole that cares only about himself and not give a damn about what went on in the syndicate if he was Underlord. And to make matters worse, she showed him mercy, let him live and what does he do? He goes and joins the very people he despised and belittled, the enemy, who not only imprisoned her and their fellow voyants, but also apparently has a past with them. Was everything he did for the Seven Seals, for the syndicate, all apart of an elaborate ruse? Or does Jaxon Hall have hidden motives that, not surprisingly, benefit himself and only himself?
Either way, I do hope Jaxon gets that face punch. A lot of them.
And Warden. *dreamy sigh* How I’ve missed you! I shall hope to see more of you in TSR as well! I wonder how he’s feeling with the revelation about Jaxon not only being a side-hopping bastard, but a rat responsible for the deaths of his fellow colony prisoners and the Ranthen being tortured and scarred.
The prelude has started off with a strong voice that leaves you wanting more and I am already praying to the book gods to deliver me a ARC. Proving unsuccessful so far, but I remain hopeful. Unfortunately for us readers, we have to wait until March. BUT fortunately, only 196 days left until THE SONG RISING is released! Whose excited?! This gal!
For more exciting advocate stuff and announcements, follow me here and on my twitter!
Anyways, that’s enough ramblings from this gal. Tomorrow, I’ll post something fun I’ve been working on. I’ll give you a hint: I love designing dresses based on David Mann’s gorgeous TBS covers.
I feel so bad, I love my twin sister but I'm also very jealous of her, even though I try not to be. She's so perfect in every way and everyone loves her, and I feel like I'm the complete opposite. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I feel like I'm not important at all around her. No one really cares about me unless she's around and I feel like she could replace me in every way and no one would even miss me... I'm sorry, I just feel like I don't have anyone rn, and I don't know what to do
i’ve gotten messages almost identical to this at least three times now and idk if it’s the same person who’s sent them all, but i still promise you, you are just as important as your sister. you just have to find your own niche in life xx
You’ll be the only one to read this message!
Today is a special day for a person I never thought I could be this close to - the day u turn 21 :D
Even though you’re so busy with ur schedules, paper and plans, we still spend lots of time together and I guess that will make me miss u more when u’re not around for 4 months
I love someone who I can be weird with, someone not to judge but to chill with my jokes and be a part of themm haha :)) and thats why I enjoy being with you
May all the things you expect for your 21-year-old plan at Korea will come true!
Have a whale of time there and safely get your ass back here withh your voodoo
Be waiting all the times >>:D