i might make more i might not it depends

what they don’t always tell you about T within informed consent sheets, a better post

since the one going around is filled with blatant misinformation and exaggerated tales of horror to the point that i question whether its intent was good.

the first thing to expect, is that your experience will be unique. there are hundreds of factors to how hormones change your body, and while you will find people with experiences like yours, you will have a different experience. so while this is a general guideline, your experience may be that you don’t experience these things, or that you experience them with intensity. it’s so, so varied. 99% of the stuff they put on informed consent forms is prefaced with ‘YOU MIGHT -’. 

  1. regarding the smells, yes! you will smell different! that is a fact. the hormones are different in your body now, you will start to smell more like what you’d expect from people who have similar amounts of testosterone in their bodies. it can be a little weird, but it’s nothing that deodorant (and sometimes cologne, if you want!) won’t cover up and it’s nothing that’s abnormal and it’s nothing that every other human being doesn’t experience. everyone smells! you just happen to smell different than you used to.
  2. when facial hair grows, when hair everywhere else grows, you can get itchy. my face gets itchy, my head gets itchy, especially when it’s hot it can get frustrating, but it’s no cause for panic. some people might get itchier than others, but it’s just something you’ll deal with and it’s not all that bad. you’ll get used to it and think about it less and less as your body situates.
  3. binding, as with any thing you put on your chest, can cause acne! i’ve seen no difference in wearing sport bras and binders in regards to acne, i’m a DD chest, it’s just what happens when you sweat and compress your chest. having some acne between your boobs is normal, having some on your back is normal, just try to leave it alone and take showers (you can take showers without washing your hair every day if that’s an option!), it’ll be okay.
  4. as with, well, puberty, you’re going to have ups and downs of hunger. sometimes i can just never stop eating! sometimes i don’t feel hungry at all. it’s good to keep track of how much you eat generally and try not to overeat, but you might get cravings for more carb-heavy foods because puberty 2 takes a lot of energy for your body! eating more than normal is, well, normal. drinking a lot of water and things like orange juice can help even this out and it will benefit you in a lot of ways (like keeping your immune system healthy).
  5. your clit will probably grow. it can be kind of jarring, but it’s something you get used to, and everyone experiences this one with a WIDE range of difference. some people only get an inch or so in growth (mine is huge now and it’s still so weird but also so cool), some people can have their clit grow to much bigger! some people can feel their boners, some people get morning wood, and you might feel it in your pants and wearing tight underwear might not be the best in that case, try wearing boxers and loose clothes around the house as much as you can, as well as not wearing your binder too much.
  6. voice drops happen so suddenly you won’t even see them coming, but once the first one happens, you can get a feel for it. usually your voice cracks for a couple weeks/months, SUDDENLY gets deeper, levels off, then cracks again, repeat. it can be sudden, and it also creeps up on you. try keeping logs of your voice, you’ll be so shocked at the difference that only a few months can make! also, people around you will notice your voice changes before you do unless you’re constantly going back on old videos. 
  7. acne is inevitable. to what degree? totally dependent on the person. genetics and health play a big role. you’ll get acne in places you haven’t before, but eventually it will level out. it’s not going to be forever, you have to keep in mind this is second puberty and puberty means random and weird shit! like unfortunate acne! it will pass. try to ignore it as much as you can. 
  8. my period stopped at 4 months in. occasionally, i still get phantom cramps. not for very long usually, but you have to remember that your body has a rhythm, and you’re interrupting that. it’s going to take a while for it to switch gears! talk to your endo/doctor if your pains are excruciating to the point of hospitalization/etc because that can be a sign that something is wrong. also, you usually do blood tests every few months to make sure the hormones are working fine. my periods when i started T ranged from no pain at all and debilitating pain, and i’m someone who previously had extremely painful periods. this gets less common over time! 
  9. try not to do any drugs/alcohol before getting your blood tests done. my endocrinologist knows that i do have weed occasionally and so far that hasn’t been a problem but i think drinking is something you should avoid with blood tests coming up for your safety so they don’t report problems that aren’t there. you’re not going to get in trouble for any of this, you just need to tell them.
  10. every person has a different T dose. i take 100 every other week because of various things: my size, my weight, how the hormones already are in my body. i know some people who are on 200, some who are on 50 weekly, it depends on what your PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR thinks is safe for you, and they WILL adjust accordingly if the need arises between both of you. taking more T than you’re prescribed with the intention of getting quicker effects will actually slow the process and make your body produce more estrogen and can hurt you. you don’t want that! 
  11. it’s not shameful to set up appointments for your shots or not be able to do them yourself, and if you do them yourself it’s okay to mess it up. believe me, i have. every injection is different, but you get a feel for it and mess up less. they would not let you do it at home if it wasn’t safe enough. just watch videos, know what you’re getting into. getting blood drawn hurts more for me than my T shots. it’s okay that sometimes it takes you forever, or no time at all. T shots are your thing and your experience and your choice on how is the most comfortable for you. most doctors prescribe different injection sites based on what they think is best, all of them work. one person doing it in their leg doesn’t negate that it also works in the ass but if you’re told to do it one way, stick to that or talk it out with your doctor to come up with an alternative! the amount of blood that comes out of the injection site is different with each one, the angle is different, and i would HEAVILY SUGGEST sitting down for a while after a shot. one of my shots, i stood up right after and after about 5 minutes of walking i noticed oil just, coming out of the site and down my leg. it was horrible. gravity is your friend and also your enemy, use it wisely. the level of pain with each shot is different too, and remember that needles are supposed to only be put in something once. if you fuck up an injection and pull out too fast or anything, switch out the needle because if you don’t, the tip is more blunt (you probably won’t be able to tell with your plain eyes) and will hurt much more than the first time. shots are weird, each one is an entirely different beast but you’ll get it down. 
  12. T can make you more emotional. REMEMBER - puberty 2! it’s not going to turn you into a raging frothing beast, but if you’re already prone to anger, already prone to frustration, it’s going to happen! i’m prone to getting claustrophobic and stressed out, and T has made that worse, but over time i’ve come to manage it and over time it evens out and i experience it less and less. with hormones comes mood shifts. it’s perfectly reasonable and it’s easier than puberty 1, since you can see it coming and can calm yourself down easier and you know what’s causing it. i get frustrated more easily sometimes, but i sit down, breathe, and know that it’s the hormones, and it makes it SO MUCH easier to deal with.
  13. your genitals in general might get drier. might be the opposite. mine is the latter. my libido is NUTS, it can be weird, but for some people it’s not like that. again, completely dependent on the person. either direction or no change at all, you can expect anything. 
  14. your immune system is weaker and your body is putting a lot of energy into these changes. be aware of that, please for the love of all that’s good wash your hands, stay clear of sick people as much as you can, and try to eat and drink healthy, generally. you might catch colds and the colds can turn worse than most, but being hygienic is the best way to prevent any of that. 
  15. if you stop T, your periods will come back. some medications can’t work with T like some birth control, and before starting any medication please check in with your doctor before to make sure that it’s safe. use your best judgment and be conscious of your health.
  16. T is not an overnight experience. changes take a long time, some longer than others, and being patient is incredibly important. don’t get frustrated at your body, it’s doing it’s best. you’ll get there, some slower and some faster than others. it’s different for everyone. but you WILL get there if you want to get there. 
Reasons why self dx is good from the pov of a professional
  1. Therapists/Specialists are not omnipotent. There are a lot of different mental disorders and disabilities that you could literally study for five years and still don’t know everything about. If you don’t know enough about a condition to see its signs in a person (which many therapists actually don’t because the only thing they really know about illnesses that are less common are the DSM/ICD criteria for it. However, these criteria are not enough for a diagnosis and sometimes even too vague to pick up the signs for an illness in a person. I honestly don’t want to know how many people are misdiagnosed with a common mental condition but actually have a rare one that’s just pretty similar to the common one) than you gonna miss a lot as a therapist. And many therapist do miss a lot.
  2. Therapists are biased. Therapists are only people. Just like normal people, they are not immune against stereotypes and prejudices. Because specialists hardly ever teach you at uni but only in special courses that you have to take in order to specialize as well, we actually learn a lot of stereotypes and prejudices because the people teaching us interpret the information they have in a wrong way because they don’t know more about it. A person who is currently studying to become a therapist needs to be aware of that and do their own research in order to get useful information, however most aren’t even aware of how wrong the things that they’re learning are because they have, like everyone else, the bias to trust people like professors that they actually know a 100% what they’re talking about (even though many actually ADMIT that they don’t know anything about it). This is another bias that’s pretty common in people, widely researched and again not something therapists and specialists are immune to.
    If you, for example, know that autism isn’t common in girls, then you won’t look for it  in girls and are likely to oversee the signs because you think that autism is too rare in girls. And additionally, to recognize autism in girls, a specialist needs to be aware that the symptoms show differently in afab and amab people which again, many “specialists” don’t because that’s not taught in class. You need to teach things like that to yourself or actually specialize on the condition.
  3. Literally every disorder that is known today is still being researched. And probably will not even exist like this in a few years anymore because the research might show that some symptoms are more important than those on the DSM V/ICD 10 that we have right now or they’ll maybe even find out that something that they diagnosed as one condition is actually two conditions (for example, for decades schizoid personality disorder was diagnosed as autism because both conditions create similar symptoms in many points. However, research showed that they differ in very important points and are actually two different conditions. I don’t even want to know how many people were misdiagnosed and mistreated because of that.)
  4. Therapists only have a limited view on their clients. They can’t look inside your head, they can only try to form an image of them by doing a metaphorical puzzle - they  have to look for the small things, the signs and symptoms and put the together in a way that actually makes sense and matches the symptoms of a disorder. If you don’t tell them everything - which you won’t (frankly because you don’t even remember everything when talking to your therapist or because you view some information as useless and don’t give it to your therapist that would actually be vital for the right diagnosis), - you can be sure that there will always be holes in your diagnosis. There will always be something that your therapist won’t take into account. That doesn’t mean that every diagnosis by a professional is wrong, therapists are often right. However, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you realize that you do/feel something that your therapist oversaw, than you are probably right and it might be worth digging into (even though I would advice talking about it with your therapist or someone else who knows you well enough to form an oppinion about it).
  5. Not everyone has access to a mental health specialist. (I should repeat this thirty times so that everyone gets it). Depending on where you life, you might not have enough money to afford a therapy. You might loose your complete health insurance or some of it if you go to a therapist more than three times, even if you’re not diagnosed with a condition (it’s like that in my homecountry). Getting diagnosed or attending a therapist literally makes it easier for people to instutionalize you against your will because speaking up against it gets interpreted as a person “not having insight in their own condition" by neurotypicals (even though they might have last beeen in treatment a deade ago… They don’t care, they say that the said person is insane because they say that they need treatment and when they deny it, it just prooves their point) [you would not believe how many therapists I already met who actually think like this].
    Our society is still hugely biased against mentally ill people. Getting a diagnosis can be expensive or impossible for other reasons. Not in every country you can attend a therapist without getting an official diagnosis (some people might do “off record”-diagnoisis, meaning that they confirm that you have a certain condition but don’t give you a diagnostic paper because they know how this can affect you. However, this highly depends on how the therapist is paid - if they only receive payment for diagnosed conditions, then they have no choice but diagnose you).
  6. Self-dx can be just as accurate and good as professional dx. There are a lot of free ressources all around the internet, libraries and so on that are actually written for professionals. Reading and applying these things is what maks a professional a professional. It’s exactly how you turn into a professional - your professors hand you the ressources, the rest is your own job. It doesn’t make much of a difference if you read all the books that you need for yourself or if you attend courses at college/university. The only difference is that professionals know a lot about other areas of human behavior and thus are better at evaluating how strongly it differs from normal behavior and in which points a person exactly differs. That doesn’t really have a big impact on the diagnostic process though, it’s just important for a general understanding of this weird species we call homo sapiens. If you feel better about it, you can read those ressources, too, but I wouldn’t deem it nesscessary.
  7. Self-dx actually helps improvement. If a person is not able to consult a specialist, it doesn’t really do any good for them to sit around and wait until they have the oportunity to do so (if that ever happens, which is again not the case for everyone). Because mental illnesses/conditions are just like physical ones - if you don’t treat them, they get worse and worse and worse. Mental health issues lead to different neurons firing in the brain, strengthening different synaptic patterns and thus patterns of thinking and behaving. The longer a person uses their synaptic connections, the more intense they become while others that aren’t use weaken. Not intervening means not stopping this process. And depending on how long a person has been following some of those patterns, they might take twice the time to “rewire” themselves or might even be unable to do so ever.
    It is important to treat mental illnesses as soon as possible in order to prevent further damage. Being against self-dx is being against people who don’t have a possibility to get help helping themselves which is frankly the only thing that might save them or give them the chance to live their life how they want to. Knowing about what illness you have is important in order to know how to cope with what. Sometimes it’s even essential to know what you need to cope with in the first place (e.g. my autism diagnosis… I was born autistic and didn’t know that I was autistic. The first thing I had to learn is what exactly makes me different from other people which I couldn’t know because I didn’t even know that I was different. I didn’t know what exactly made me feel bad, what stressed me out, and so on. But finally having a diagnosis, finally knowing what I’m dealing with helped me improve my life a whole damn lot.) 
  8. Self-dx is not a short process. I’ve always known that I wasn’t neurotypical, that’s for sure. However, it took me years to finally figure out which conditions I actually have and which are just results of other conditions I had. In order to do that, I needed to research everything that was somehow related to anything that I could be affected by. Self-dx takes time and extensive screening of information because, guess what, mis-self-diagnosing is just as unhelpful as professional mis-diagnosing. Only that it’s much easier to figure out if you’ve wrongly misdiagnosed yourself and went about it the wrong way than actually getting a specialist to admit that they misdiagnosed you (because therapists actually like to forget that they’re not omnipotent themselves).
  9. No one actually thinks that self-dx should replace professional-dx. Nobody actually wants to deny that professional diagnosis are valid by self-dxing. They don’t want to make fun of a disorder or “try to be edgy by having a mental condition”. Just like od-people don’t have the condition to be cool or edgy. The only difference is that od-people have a sheeet of paper that a human signed and that is saying “you have this disorder, congratulations, here is why I know”.
  10. Neurodivergent people actually know that they are neurodivergent! Everyone who has been diagnosed with anything later in life that they actually had since they were little should understand that not the diagnosis makes you have a condition but that actually having a condition gets you your diagnosis. Everyone remembers signs and symptoms they showed prior to their diagnosis. And it’s the same for self-dx people. Only because they didn’t have the chance to get a professional to check their claim, it doesn’t mean that they never noticed that they are mentally ill or in which ways they are. Neurodivergent people are not dumb. They actually know that they’re not neurotypical. So of course they start to look for an explanation, for a label in order to understand what they’re dealing with! And who are you to decide if the label they picked is right or wrong? You don’t know them. And even if it’s wrong… than they will definitely notice and not stick with it becaue “this condition is so much cooler than the one I actually have omg like autism is far more edgy than bpd”. Nobody who seriously self-diagnosed would say anything like that because that’s not the resaon you put so much effort in your self-diagnosis!! It’s because you want to know what’s going on with you and how to cope with it.
    (Being against self dx is actually further pushing the narrative that neurodivergent people don’t know that they aren’t neurotypical which is frankly such a harmful and toxic rethoric that is used against everyone who says that they’re mentally ill [because how bad can it be if you notice, right?] and those who have made enough progress that they wouldn’t consider themselves ill anymore [e.g. instutionalization, as mentioned above]. What is even worse about the rethoric is that in order to get diagnosed [and to diagnose yourself], you have to actually notice how the condition influences your quality of life. If it doesn’t have any impact on that, then you aren’t considered mentally ill. You probably all see now how this is actually the opposite of the rethoric that many people still push and believe in)


Honestly, I could probably continue this list forever, but I’ll stop now. If you feel like you have anything to add, just do it! It’s important to speak out for our self dx friends.

2

“Lizzie will always prefer Real!Ciel”, they said. “Lizzie definitely chose the twin’s side”, they said.

No but aside from Lizzie obviously being depressed by the current situation and thus probably not being so sure of her “choice”, this part is very important because it’s a hint the Midford family will probably find out about a big part of the truth and Edward at least will be involved in the arc until the matter with Lizzie is solved. 

Depending on what Paula knows (and I think she might know significant things since Lizzie is “where she belongs”), they might even understand that Real!Ciel was brought back and, while I know that they might have as many reasons as Lizzie to be shocked and possibly initially angry towards our!Ciel, Ed for once will never agree with a situation that’s making Lizzie so sad.

Then again, who knows if Ed or his parents will have any way of helping with the situation in case Lizzie really is more of a hostage than Real!Ciel’s true love…

*FE14 hell is still deep*

Bonus:

4

Scalp hair! As makeup! :D The left pictures are without the scalp blush, and the right images are with it.

Figuring out how to put makeup on the scalp turned out to be a trickier endeavor than I initially thought it would be, but after a few hours of fiddling I finally got it to work. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s any way to do a hairline that overlays the face as part of the same CASP/package as the scalp overlay makeup, which means that the transition might look a bit abrupt in a couple of places depending on the hairstyle (as you can see in the bottom right picture). However, I can make hairline makeup that will line up with the scalp makeup, and if you use them both together it should look much more natural.

Anyway, I know this might seem like a silly, unnecessary thing as most hairs already come with scalp textures, but there are some styles that I believe will benefit from it, such as those with giant foreheads or ugly parts. I still need to create some more variations as well as the matching hairlines, but I will try to get it finished and uploaded this week. :)

Inspired by a conversation I had with @spladoum​ and @ice-creamforbreakfast​. I hope y’all like it! <3

Faerie 101: How to start part 2

Part 2: Local Fairies 

What are local fairies?: Fairies that exist mostly within our side of the fence (this realm).

They are the fairies that exist closely with mortals. The brownies, the home maidens, the boggarts, goblins, hobgoblins, and so on. Note: All sort of fairies can exist in our realm, but some are more common than others.

There are various troops of fae that exist within the mortal lands. The local fairy courts/groups that hold territory here. 

Also, the solitary fairies that wish to live quietly outside the faelands (sometimes willingly sometimes not), then there are the exiled fairies that were either kicked out of the faelands entirely or were kicked out of a group and decided to come to the mortal realm.

A few notes about local fairies 

  • fairies can be found all across the globe
  • fairies can live both in rural and urban areas (or in the middle of nowhere)
  • forests aren’t the only place that fairies enjoy to be in 
  • they have been known to migrate alongside people  

Letting local fairies know you’re interested in forming a relationship

Sometimes outright going and saying “hey guys, I’m interested” can do the trick. Leaving gifts out can help show your interest, and help show the fairies you mean well.

You can make things like shrines, fairy houses, fairy doors, fairy welcome matts, and so on to help get them to notice you.

Sometimes going to certain locations can help get them to notice you as well. (for times when you’re just not having any luck in your immediate area)

  • fairy mounds (fairy forts)
  • fairy circles
  • witches’ circles
  • certain trees (hawthorn, elder berry, willow, oak)
  • wild places 
  • gardens, parks, lakes

I will let you all know that sometimes looking for fairies can be a bit like fishing. Sometimes you’re lucky, and you get a bite right away…other times not so much. Sometimes patience and consistency is key! 

Now what are some things that can draw their attention?

  • shiny things
  • pretty things
  • sweet things

these are the usual themes that I follow; however, they can differ from fairy to fairy. Some fairies do not enjoy sweets.

Some fairies enjoy bread and oatmeal, while some will actually take offense to being offered them. 

Research is key when trying to attract fairies. They can be a fickle sort. 

You can help gain their respect by picking up litter or caring for various animals (cats especially). They are also drawn to children or child-like people. 

Why local fae?- Solitary, Exiled, and Troops

Local fairies tend to be more “people friendly” from what I’ve experienced. They are a good choice for those who do not wish to travel to their lands. 

The majority of them usually are solitary or live in small groups. Exiled fairies are those that were kicked out of a group and now live alone (or joined another troop). Be careful, the reasons behind their exile can vary, some small and some dangerous.

There are local fae courts and clans that exist in this realm. These troops might have a piece of the faelands brought with them, or might have made claim to a territory long ago. 

Depending on if they are in a group or not, it will help determine how you will approach them.

With the solitary, I find that they can be approached more casually and directly.

With troops, I find it best to ask permission before hand. It can help make a good first impression and show that you give respect. A more formal means of introduction is needed, but either way a fairy will enjoy a gift (or more so a trade).

Why some fairies might reject your gifts?

Local fae are more familiar with human costumes and behaviors, though they still hang on to their own views, morals, and beliefs. Fairies might be hesitant to accept an offering or a gift.

I sometimes find that straight forward and open trades are better than gifts. It is more clear on both ends what you desire, and it can make the fairy feel more comfortable to take the gift. 

A few reasons why you might be having trouble

  • fairies can be very fickle and shy
  • the ones in your local area could be very wary of humans
  • something in your area (or on your person) might be warding them off
  • Guilt by association: I’ve had a few times when fairies refused to work with me because someone I associated with insulted them
  • you’re being too subtle (perhaps trying a bit more loudly?)
  • you haven’t attracted their attention yet (do something to make them more interested)
  • they don’t want to (sometimes fairies just don’t want to)

I hope this section helps with those planning on “working” with local fairies~ 

parts to come

  • Arcadian fae
  • Wandering fae
  • What to do and what not to do around fairies 
  • How fairies may act 

Sleepy Ash/Kuro - Servamp (WIP)

hey so

i know i haven’t posted a lot of art in a long while

and i only recently found a digital platform that works for drawing but i need validation since i haven’t done lineart in a year so

is it looking okay-ish or should i put an end to this abomination now?

PSA for the EmiMike/MichEmil fandom!

Update! Here is the masterpost! Please reblog that as well as this post to spread the word around ♥


There are quite a few EmiMike shippers here and I feel like I follow most of them (and we even have our own badge!)

(credits go to @emimiketrash)

And that got me thinking that I also know quite a few Italian fans, which is great and it would be very helpful if I ever needed to translate something for a fic, except, you know, I’m Italian and I don’t really need that? Anyway, what I would need is to know some Czech fans, and I realized I know none.

And then I thought that others might be in my same situation and it just hit me, “Why not make a masterpost of lovely Italian and Czech people who would be willing to translate stuff for EmiMike writers?” 

I find that adding a few sentences/words in their native language is always really realistic and depending on what kind of fic you’re writing it might even be necessary, and while I wait for more EmiMike inspiration to hit me for a future fic, I thought it would be nice to do something for this little but lovely part of the fandom. (And for the record, if you need to translate anything to Italian, always feel free to message me and ask!)

(Of course, this is also true for any fanartists needing to write stuff in their fanart/comics!)

In order to make this masterpost I need names! So please:

  • Reblog to help me spread the word ♥
  • REBLOG + WRITE if you’re Italian or Czech and willing to be in this list (please don’t just write it in the tags because it makes my job more difficult)

I really hope this thing works out, please let me or anyone in the squad know if you have any more ideas for this ship!

Scribble-Doodle: Baby Steps

Ep 214 missing scene. Alec asks Izzy for a favor.


“You look nervous, big brother,” Isabelle points out, smiling, when Alec approaches her in the hallway outside her room.

Alec smiles back, fleetingly, nervously. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“That depends,” she answers a little suspiciously.

Keep reading

Plant Your Roots [KHR]

 Nana’s kind come from the dryads, from the earth. Their natures wax and wane with the seasons, their personalities shifting from spring to winter and back again, all through the cycle. The bodies are human, but the spirits are not, and that makes all the difference. 

The monthly cycle, instead of bearing pain and increased blood in uncomfortable places, results in bundles of fruit growing at the tips of their hair when they wake in the morning, an increasing desire to go out into the garden, dig their toes into the warm, wet earth and simply stay there, basking in the sun for several hours. If roots grow from their toes during this time, nobody knows save them, and if they come inside looking a little healthier, a little calmer, well, that’s a good day then.

Tsuna finds it amusing when people assume Iemitsu provides the food that Nana puts on the table every night. Granted, he makes a large sum of money, but no money can do what Nana or Tsuna can. Tsuna is still young, so he can’t produce like his mother can, but occasionally in the stormier seasons he’ll have that tingling sensation race across his spine, his body ache for the outside, and he’ll go and stand in the rain, face turned up to the storm, as roots plant themselves deep and begin to take in the nutrients.

The first time his Family witnesses this, they try to drag him away. Nana sharply reprimands them, and tells them come inside, he knows what he’s doing. He won’t get sick, you can trust me on that. It takes a while, but eventually they all do go inside, even if Reborn watches from the window like a particularly faithful watchdog.

And like that, he is the only one to see the little beads of crisp reds and pale pinks dot his hair, the cherries and peaches, ripe and juicy and ready to be eaten. Nana brings out a basket four hours later, and Tsuna’s body has produced so much she has to help pull some off of him, his neck aching with the weight of it. Reborn stands by the door and watches with something akin to faint shock and awe, and Tsuna gracefully tugs the ripest peach from behind his right ear and offers it to his mentor, smiling.

“It’s good. Nothing strange will happen if you eat it, I promise.”

He takes it, handling it like its something fragile and vulnerable gifted. He rolls it around in his tiny hands, and then looks back to Tsuna. Leon scuttles across the fruit, tongue flickering here and there with obvious confusion. “It’s… fruit?”

“What do you know of the dryads, Reborn?” Tsuna asks in turn. 

“Aren’t those oak?” Reborn asks, raising the fruit to his lips and taking a small bite. He looks down in shock, clearly taken aback by how juicy it is. Tsuna shares another smile with his mother.

“Normally,” Nana agrees. “But like with all things, there are different types. When the world changed and man began to spread, the dryads had to change too. So some became fruit, and others spread to other types of trees. Our line descends from one of the fruit dryads.”

“And this happens… all the time?”

“Not all the time. For me, sunny days and whenever this body would normally menstruate bring the greatest yields. Summer’s like a non-stop vacation for my body.” Nana grins at him. “Tsuna-kun prefers wetter climates, and he doesn’t produce much right now, but everything his body does produce is perfectly ripe. As you can tell.”

Reborn nods slowly. “What does he need?”

“A plot of soil, just big enough for me to stick my feet into. If we get a pot, we could carry it around, or make do on the fly. We can get strange weather up here sometimes, and I have no idea what the weather’s like in other parts of the world.”

“Italy is mainly wet this time of year,” Reborn remarks, taking this new aspect of Tsuna as calmly as anything else. “You’d never come out of the ground if we took you there now.”

Tsuna grins and laughs. “No, no I probably wouldn’t.”

“Are peaches and cherries all you can produce?”

“For right now,” Tsuna says, as his mother hands him a cloth, and he gently begins to pull his feet out of the ground. The roots beg to remain, but he twists and curls his toes and they snap off. His feet come out dirty, but normal. “Give me a couple years, and I can probably start producing more. It depends on what’s in-season, really.”

“And what happens in winter?” 

Tsuna’s smile fades a little. “Nothing, really. There are a couple things to grow, but they don’t need soil. They’ll grow all throughout winter. Depending on how the weather is, I can make one or two drops before spring comes back, usually. But apart from that? I sleep a lot, am generally lethargic, and just want to relax. Outside isn’t really…”

“On your list of things to do?” Reborn suggests.

“Pretty much.”

Perhaps if he were any other man, Reborn might not have believed the entire situation. He might have passed it off as some kind of trick of the mind, or the eyes, or something else. 

As it is however, he fully believes it. “I’ll start making preparations,” he tells his student, who smiles, and gifts him with a handful of cherries. “In return, I get first pick of everything you grow.”

“Done,” Mother and son chorus, and that as they say is that.

Dialogue and Scene

Anonymous asked: “I’m really confused on how to write dialogue. Whenever two characters talk in my stories, I always feel like I have to insert actions for things that are happening around them. I also don’t want to make it feel like other characters are being left out, or just standing in the background.”

It may seem awkward to have other characters just standing by, but the more I’ve observed actual real-life conversations, people actually do just stand-by. If they aren’t in a conversation, they might turn and go do something else or talk to someone else, or if they do feel interested, they might wait quietly by and add the occasional comment here and there. It really depends. 

As for describing the scene around them, you might want to add some stuff, just to give the reader a better picture of it. Who is fidgeting? What body language is happening. I love to either make characters move around while talking - like pace if frustrated, even just moving back in their chair, rolling green beans over with a fork - something more that shows how their feeling. These can be great images to help bring a scene to life. 

anonymous asked:

Do you think Lyanna would be happier if Renly or Stannis was the eldest Baratheon? Stannis feels very Northern and would never abuse or cheat on her. Renly plays the chivalrous part well so the betrothal looks good even if the marriage isn't.

You know, there is a theory in fandom that Lyanna didn’t want to get married, period. But my reading of her is that she is a romantic idealist, though with a more down-to-earth perspective than, say, Sansa. I think she’d still push against her father agreeing to a betrothal without asking her first regardless of the identity of her betrothed, but she might not go to extreme measures like running away with Rhaegar to escape the marriage.

I’m not sure about Renly, simply because an eldest!Renly would be a completely different person that the one in OTL. He’d be groomed as the heir and sent to foster with Jon Arryn as a child, resulting in a completely different person than the charming and good looking but ultimately hollow and selfish character we meet in canon. But I don’t know if the betrothal would happen in the first place. The betrothal happened in OTL after Steffon died meaning it’d be Renly’s choice to propose it or not, and Renly is gay and has two brothers to pass the Stormlands to. He doesn’t have to marry if he doesn’t want to. And even if Jon Arryn or whoever tried to convince him to marry, he probably wouldn’t go with a betrothal at that age. Meaning that Lyanna would already be betrothed or even married by the time he starts considering it, if he ever does.

Now, Stannis, he is the best choice. He wouldn’t be the hardened and embittered man we met in canon, and he and Ned would be two peas in a pod back in the Vale. He’d probably also make the betrothal, perhaps at the behest of Jon Arryn as I don’t know if he’d share Robert’s pressing need to make Ned his brother by marriage, though he’d surely recognize the excellence of the match on both the personal and political fronts. I can just imagine Ned waxing poetic to Lyanna about him. Would she be happy with the betrothal right off the bat? Hmm, depends. She might see Ned’s introverted and awkward nature in him which might endear him to her. Or she might be disappointed by how unimpressive he appears to be. I mean, she is still a young girl with romantic ideas, even if she’s more realistic and pragmatic than most. I like to think that she’d ultimately see Ned in him, and I know she’d appreciate his sense of honor and justice.

Whether that would translate to a happy marriage though is anybody’s guess. Yes, Stannis wouldn’t abuse or cheat on her, but a non-abusive marriage is not exactly the standard Lyanna should aspire to, neither is it synonyms with a happy marriage. Stannis is still a Westerosi man and still shares his society’s view of proper lady conduct as much as Rickard Stark (and yes even Ned) does. His dutifulness vs her free spirit might also be a source of trouble. Their mutual stubbornness would make for some epic fights. But I think there would be enough common ground between them to build a connection on. Or so I’d like to think.

Tutorial: How to upload gifs!

Tumblr has very specific limits and limits that you wouldn’t think would be a problem when it comes to uploading your gifs! Under the cut are a few essentials to uploading your gif(s) correctly. If you don’t do it correctly, the gifs will not work on all platforms. Example: They might move on the desktop or freeze on the app, etc. 

Uploading your gif correctly is all about the SIZE/DIMENSIONS

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Fakehaus -> Matt Peake 

No one knows much about Peake. He is an enigma with a gun and a sky-high body count. A man of few words and a watchful gaze, it seems as if there isn’t a time when he is truly relaxed. While no one knows the exact details of his past, there’s a unspoken knowledge among the rest of Fakehaus that he’s been doing this dirty work full time for quite a while now. A jack-of-all-trades type, Peake handles whatever needs to be done in the group, and does it with an intense speed and quality. To many, he is unemotional and ruthless in his work. 

People don’t see the nights he spends on his knees in church, begging for forgiveness.

Joel / Lawrence / Adam / Spoole / Bruce / James / Elyse / Omar

anonymous asked:

Deepthroat advice? That throat bulge gif = slut goals

I know…I agree, the throat bulge is definite slut goals! To be honest, I’m still working on my deep throat technique – and yes, that involves patience, practice, and commitment. So I’m absolutely no expert, but I’ve picked up a few tips and am happy to share with all my fellow aspirational sluts…

So, my desire to deep throat come from a compulsive desire to please. My pleasure is irrevocably tied to his pleasure, and while I love the feeling of invasion it produces, he also likes to experience that degree of his absolute domination over me as I struggle and try to pull away. But – everyone’s different. 

So I think there are two versions of deep-throating, not so much to do with approach but rather to do with effect or outcome (although these are tied to your level of experience). The first is measured, skilful, and smooth, in which you’re in control and can sustain the penetration. Definite consummate pro! The second is messy, full of spluttering and struggling, running mascara, and streams of saliva. Each to their own, but I’ve still never properly mastered the former. I was always nervous about my gag reflex, and the truth is that that I almost inevitably end up retching – so, I’m mostly the latter. But then, he likes it when I puke all over his cock. I think he likes the excruciating feeling of embarrassment it gives me, and how degrading I find it. And nothing makes me feel quite so submissively vulnerable, in those moments like this that I feel powerless… especially if my wrists are bound behind me. So although I find them rather humiliating, I try not to be put off by the wet gagging sounds my throat seems to produce!

Obviously, the first few times it’s going to be much easier for you if your man remains perfectly still, while you do all the moving. Try different positions until you work out what angle’s best for you. You’re likely to produce a whole load of extra saliva – so don’t get too grossed out by the drool! Embrace it, because it’s a) a totally natural response and b) it’ll make the sensation even better, acting like a lubricant to minimise unintentional friction. Promise.

Most of us have a gag reflex (I certainly do!). It creates a sensation of spasming contraction in your throat, often triggered by something touching the back or your tongue, throat, or uvula (that weird bit that hangs down from the back of the roof of your mouth). So, if this is the case for you, ease into it. Go at your own pace/depth – if you feel panicked, you’re more likely to gag and tighten your throat. To be honest, that might feel great for him (!) – but if you’re not used to it, or if he’s too rough, it might put you off trying to deep-throat for good! So ask him to please be patient until you acclimatise. Encouragement from him is of course always a great motivator! Depending on your kink, that might range from him telling you how amazing it feels, to telling you that “you’re a disgusting whore who loves nothing more than choking on a man’s cock”. Personally, I’m a praise-junkie but also a masochist, so I like a combination! One gives me warms fuzzies at doing a good job, the other makes me dripping wet.

Think about trying to open and relax your throat, like you’re taking a big pill. Humming might help. Take a deep breath first! I find that, if I’m trying to breathe while he’s in my throat, I’m more likely to choke and retch. You can also practice, to help ‘deaden’ your gag reflex by starting out with something small but non-scratchy (like the round end of a toothbrush) resting on your gag-point, then after a while moving/adding pressure, finally building up to a flexible jelly-dildo or a banana to simulate a full-on throat-fuck. Practice makes perfect!

Above all – persevere, practice, and enjoy the ride!

Easiest for you: if he stands still, and you stay on your knees, inching him into your throat incrementally. Go down as far as you can, then stop until you get used to it. Once you feel comfortable again, go a little deeper.

Best angle for full throat penetration: hanging your head off the edge of the bed, aligning your throat so that he can penetrate instantly and deeply. [This is also the best position for that visual throat bulge… but be aware of his balls sitting on your nose, because they can cut off your air supply!]

The Prince’s Tale is NOT the saddest chapter in the entire series. You know what is sad? Godric’s Hollow. Godric’s Hollow is one of the saddest chapters I have ever read.

That village represented everything that Harry lost. A normal life with his parents, growing up with Batty Bagshot right next door, a happy life where he gets to celebrate christmas with Lily and James in the town square. That village erected a magical monument to the young Potters, with happy young Harry with his glowing and charming parents who were just kids! He went there with Hermione, both of them still raw over the pain of Ron leaving, and he had to visit his parents graves? For the first time??? And the poor baby, the poor damaged boy, actually wished he was asleep under the ground with them on that cold and snowy Christmas Eve. He couldn’t even visit his dead parents as himself, he had to disguise himself as some old Muggle, you can see why he would be so upset. Then, to top things off, he had to go to his old cottage, where he had extremely vivid visions of how his parents died, of exactly what Voldemort thought as he murdered his parents, of the look on James’s face and the fact that Lily had to hear her best friend drop dead and still sacrificed herself for them. Harry went back to the cottage where his parents died, because Snape sold them all out. And then Harry read all those supportive messages that probably didn’t mean much, I mean he was alone there, alone with only a broken-hearted Hermione. 

Snape getting bullied and then joining a genocidal hate group because the woman he creepily crushed on friendzoned him is not sad. It’s pitiful. Having a rough childhood can make you rude and abrasive, but how is that a fucking excuse for joining an extremist genocidal murder squad??? Like, okay you’re angry and bitter and you have every right to be but something is seriously fucked up if you think murder and torture are the acceptable outlets for that. Snape willing to let his love’s husband and infant son die is not sad. Snape harboring a grudge against young Harry because of Lily is not sad. Because of him, Harry wouldn’t have needed protection. Snape was the one who overheard Trewlawney’s prediction and rushed to tell Voldemort. Snape was the one who was willing to endanger any family, it’s JUST because it was Lily’s that he asked Dumbledore to protect them. James and Lily wouldn’t have had to go into deep hiding if Voldemort wasn’t specifically after them. If Snape never sold out Harry in the first place, they wouldn’t have needed protection and a secret-keeper who eventually betrayed them. Harry would never have wished he was dead in the cold ground with his parents, he would never have watched his parents die over and over again in his head, he would never have had to go back to the broken shell of a home in the small snowy village with a monument in his honor, he never would have had to even entertain the idea of bringing back his family through the Resurrection Stone. 

Snape doesn’t deserve the title of “hero”. A lifetime of bad redemptive acts does not excuse the fact that Snape single-handedly facilitated the misery of Harry’s life. Voldemort might have been after James and Lily eventually, sure, but I think they would rather have put up an honest fight than go into hiding because of some stupid prophecy. They would have probably at least had more time with Harry until Voldemort came along to kill them (prophecy or not) and are you trying to tell me Lily wouldn’t sacrifice herself at any point? Probably Harry might have remembered his parents and that he was a wizard and had a happier childhood for atleast a couple of years more without the damn prophecy in Voldy’s hands. And yeah, there might not be much of a story if this didn’t happen, I get it. I get that the circumstances leading to the Potters death can be dependent on a million things. I’m literally fucking saying that Snape is nowhere near the definition of a hero. He was a full-fledged Death Eater for years. Keeping Harry safe wasn’t his way of making up for being evil, it was his way of making up for Lily’s death. You think he would have been redemptive if Neville was the prophecy child and Lily was alive? Hell no.

STUDY MONDAY #4: Low Energy Study Hacks

I’m a student and I’m a spoonie. In spoon theory of disability and chronic illness, a person who is disabled and/or chronically ill has limited energy, or spoons, to get through the day. It can be caused by symptoms, such as pain, fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, and so on, experiences like sensory overload or a panic attack, or even by the requirement to modify your behavior (for autistic people - having to pass as neurotypical).

As a result, things that may seem simple, like brushing your teeth, making your bed and cooking a breakfast, can require a lot of energy. Most spoonies can only do a limited amount of things in a day and then we get so exhausted, we have to rest or even wait for the next day to get more spoons. And as you can imagine, studying when your energy sources are limited is quite tricky. This is my list of tips and tricks that might make your spoonie student life a bit easier.

1. Get some sleep

I’m putting this first because in my opinion this is the most important advice I can give you. I feel like my energy levels are very dependent on sleep quality. If I am sleep deprived, I barely have any spoons. And I’d guess it is like that for many people. So getting enough sleep should be your number one priority.

I know it might sound like “just don’t be depressed!”. I understand. I have delayed sleep phase disorder and I’ve had it all my life. Melatonin pills are the only treatment that helps me. For you it might be something simple, like turning down blue light on your smartphone and drinking calming herbal tea, or something more complex, like meds and a strict sleep schedule. Not everyone will find their solution, but many will, so don’t give up.

You should be getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep every day. Some people need less, some need much more. If you sleep for more than nine hours and still wake up feeling groggy and tired, you might need to adjust your schedule to not wake up during the REM phase (the one where you dream the most). Experiment with alarm clock time, and find a balance that allows you to wake up without sleep inertia.

And some generic advice: don’t consume caffeine six hours or less before bedtime (yes that includes black/green tea and dark chocolate!), don’t nap for longer than half an hour, keep your bedroom cool (almost cold) and clean and don’t eat a big meal an hour before bedtime.

2. Prioritize

Prioritizing is sometimes the only thing you can do when you have ten important tasks and enough energy to do just five. It starts with being honest about your abilities, as well as responsibilities, and making a realistic plan. In your to do list, the tasks should be arranged from the most important and urgent to the least important and urgent. If something can wait, it can wait - do the assignment that is due in two days.

It might also mean “neglecting” things people feel are essential. You don’t actually need to make your bed in the morning - it only helps the dust mites to breed. You don’t actually need to take a shower every single day - once every 48 hours, or even three times a week, is enough. You won’t get malnutrition if you have frozen pizza for dinner once a week - your body can manage. You can wear the same shirt for an entire week - as long as it’s clean, it’s unlikely people will judge you for it. And so on.

I’m not saying “live like a filthy animal”, but sometimes you have to cut down the amount of tasks in your daily to do list, and it’s better to choose wisely. Sometimes you have to admit you will never be an A only student, and set a goal of learning as much as possible. If you need a certain average grade, calculate how many good grades you actually need and don’t worry about others (as long as you pass). For example last semester I had two “I don’t give a damn” subjects which I barely passed, and my average was still 4.2 out of 5. Pick easy subjects when possible! It’s allowed. Get your As and Bs where you can, but don’t forget to rest and take care of yourself.

3. Make compromises

You will have some days when you will be able to do very little. You will have many such days. On those days, the most important thing is to do /something/. Just a little bit. Just one small thing you can manage. If you can only read ten pages of a book, do it! Ten less pages to read tomorrow. If you can only write two paragraphs of an essay, do it! Two paragraphs less to write tomorrow. Every tiny thing you will manage is an achievement, and it’s progress. Don’t fool yourself into thinking “that’s not enough, so I won’t do it at all”. A tiny bit of work is still work.

You will also have days when you won’t be able to study at all. If you realize that nothing you try is working, it’s okay to stop and take a break. Use such “useless” days to take care of yourself. Watch five episodes of your favorite show. Eat junk food. Stay in the shower for an hour. Talk to your friend (or maybe even to your cat). Listen to some good music. Relax! If you know you can’t do anything today, you can either be miserable about it or enjoy a tiny holiday. I know what I would choose.

4. Waste some time

When you have a lot to do, instead of panicking about it and rushing your work, slow down! Sleep an extra half an hour. Go through your morning routine as usual. Calmly examine your to do list. Prepare your study place. Take a deep breath in. Yes you just “wasted” an hour, or even more. But, you hopefully got into a calm, determined mood, and will be able to deal with stress and do your work much more effectively. Believe me, it is worth it.

5. Find low energy study methods

The best form of studying for me is making study/revision notes using many different sources of information, then reciting them. I can’t do it every day though. On some days my executive dysfunction is bad and I don’t have energy to write study notes. That’s when I use my low energy study methods.

My favorite is YouTube. Crash Course is rather brief, but good when you are unfamiliar with the subject and need an introduction and a great explanation of the basics. Khan Academy is more detailed and has lectures for many different subjects. Just searching YouTube for good videos also works sometimes. For me this is an amazing study method because it is engaging enough but passive - all I need to do is watch and listen. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than doing nothing.

Find a low energy study method that works for you and use it. It will make a huge difference on “low on spoons” days.

6. Feed your brain

Your brains favorite fuel is a simple sugar: glucose. And it needs a lot of it. Human brain consumes around 20% of all calories the body needs, and it weighs less than 10% of the total body mass. When you eat carbohydrates, your body can extract sugar directly from it. When you eat fats or proteins, your body needs to metabolize them to produce sugar. Your diet should contain all kinds of foods, and you shouldn’t eat too much carbs, especially simple carbs. HOWEVER.

When you feel tired and can’t concentrate, sometimes it’s because your glucose levels are low. If you don’t have metabolic issues like diabetes, a sugary snack can help get you back into working mode. Chocolate, fruits and sweet drinks like tea, coffee or juice are all great for giving you a quick sugar boost. Some people say even the taste of sweet in their mouth helps them concentrate and study, and chewing gum with an artificial sweetener is enough for that. So if you do this in moderation, a sugar boost is great for low energy studying. Just don’t abuse it. It loses the effect if overused.

7. Be compassionate to yourself

No matter how hard your try, sometimes life is just difficult. It’s okay. It’s okay to fail a test or an exam, it’s always a learning opportunity. It’s okay to not get the grades you wanted, it can be a totally random thing. It’s okay to miss class sometimes, everyone does it. It’s okay to take breaks, you earned them. It’s okay to ask for help, you deserve it. Measure your success by how hard you tried, not the result you got. And be kind to yourself. If you did your best (which definitely doesn’t mean exhausting yourself to a point of mental breakdown), it’s enough.

That’s all I have to share. Hope it helps. What are your low energy tips and tricks? Share them in the replies!

Studying tips.

Since I am entering year ten, I want to share some tips for people entering high school/univerity/college/whatever school, or maybe want some help or tips. So this is what I do to study, and stay intrested in my work. Maybe this won’t work for everyone, but it does gelp me.


  • Try to use a planner/journal. Personaly I use a bullet journal. I use it to write down tasks to do, if I do them and when they’re finished. Also I write down things that I could forget if I don’t. You can take any notebook and use it as a bullet journal, it doesn’t have to be fancy. It’s a good way of keeping track of tasks and time.
  • Take stim breaks. I pause between a few lines to click my fingers, wave my hands, tapp the desk, use my tangle. Then after I’ve done what feels like a lot, I like to take a longer break and maybe watch a video or pace around for a while.
  • If there is something I can’t understand, I look it up. This feels self explanitory but for a long time I didn’t think I was allowed to use resources out of school, I used to think the only way to learn things was from my teacher. But that’s not true, and since I started using textbooks, google and other resources, I feel like my work has improved greatly.
  • Don’t measure your success against others’. This is really hard not to do, especialy for me. But I find that if I get less than someone else, they are, in my mind totaly and forever will be better than me in that subject. If I don’t know their score, I can’t prove that they’re better than I am.
  • Use good stationery. Relate your stationery to your intrests! Get themed stuff that makes you exited to use them, get pens in your favorite colour that make you want to write with them! If you can, get pens that you don’t have to use lots of pressure to write with.
  • If you want to use abreviations, use them! Just make sure to note down what they mean. Abreviations save time, but can be unclear. Just remember to use “proper terms” if you are writing a test.
  • Take food and drink breaks, especialy if you’re studying for long periods of time.
  • Strech as much as you can, it can be stimmy or a way to be more comfortable.
  • Post it notes and handrawn posters. Put down things that you’re likely to forget down so whenever you see them you can remember.
  • Use defenitions that you can understand! I used to only ever use the definition that my teacher gave, because I thought that’s all I could use, but if you can change the wording to something that’s easier to understand do it! Even if this means looking up other definitions that work better for you, or changing two or three words to make it just a tiny bit easier to understand.
  • Practice tests. I utterly hate these. Apparently they’re a good way to learn but I hate them so much. It feels like I’m taking an actual test when I do these and the wording is always awkward. They’re a good way to get used to doing real tests but I prefer to write questions down on flash cards with the answer on the back. This helps to take away the pressure and overwhelmingness of doing a test away from practice questions.
  • Colour code your notes! Use highlighters and pens to do so. Especialy if you can asociate that colour with that subject.
  • I prefer to have things written down, it’s easier to understand but a good resource if you need extra information is crash course on youtube.
  • Study while waiting for things to happen. Even if it just means writing a term and it’s definition on a post it note while the kettle boils.
  • Don’t expect to do a full notebooks worth in one day. Sometimes I can barely manage to do five lines. Other times I can do pages and pages. It just depends. Sometimes one line is the most tiring thing in ever, sometimes it’s easy.
  • If timetables work for you, make and use one. Put how long you’ll study and what you’ll study, but make sure it’s flexible. Sometimes I have meltdowns and can’t do any studying, but I have to remind myself that it’s okay, and my time table is a guidline. Not a rule.
  • A lot of the time when I don’t understand sonething or if I can’t do something I get frustrated and meltdown from it. If this happens to you, study in a comfortable and safe enviroment that is adaptable if/when you meltdown. When you’ve calmed down, don’t go back to the work. Sleep, read, do something else. Your health is more important than understanding something. You can always go back to it the day after, or ask someone for help.
  • I am terrified of teachers. Something about people in ‘official’ positions of authority scares me. So what I do if I don’t understand sonething, which can be often or almost never it depends on the subject is make a note to check it over or ask a classmate that might.
  • Bring tissues to school. If you have an anxiety attack and/or start crying it is so useful to keep tissues on you. Especialy in school, where all manner of things can go wrong, like forgeting your book, losing something, or getting in trouble. This is especialy useful if you can cry as easily as I do.

I might have more but I’m not sure and am tired. I hope I helped in some way.