i messed up the exact quote on this i think so sorry

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”

This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT
WARNING: see below


Warning: Please don’t listen to the audio if you are in any way uncomfortable with sexual things. This Audio was included as part of proof in a call out post I should’ve made a while ago.

I’m sure everyone knows the story of how I met Ultima. It’s quite a funny story actually, I insulted his teeth on a livestream and that led to us getting an interview arranged. Shortly after he interviewed me and Vade, we starting talking a decent amount. It was clear he wanted to date me, and I told him that that summer I just wanted to focus on my studies, but he insisted that we give each other a chance. So I agreed, and we started going out early August. There were a few things that made me uncomfortable in the relationship, but nothing that I thought was damning. He was very insistent that we sext, even when I repeatedly told him no. However I figured it was just a thing that happened in online relationships, since I had previously never had one, and went with it. Nevertheless, we dated for about a month until I fully realized that this wasn’t attractive to me, and that he as a person wasn’t attractive to me, and I tried to break up with him.

I’ll say now that I was definitely not sinless in this relationship, and didn’t stand up for myself in times that I should’ve. I let things happen that I shouldn’t have let happen, and for that I do apologize. I’m obviously not very experienced, and he took advantage of that. When I tried to break up with him, he said a lot of things that set off the Psychologist alarm bells in my head. He told me only he would ever treat me well, and that I would never find someone who would give even half the same kind of love of respect. I’ll find the exact quote: “The worst part of all of this is that YOU are the one who will be losing the most in this situation. I will move on and you will be the one who has a higher chance of regretting the decision to just let me go.”

He then said he would forgive me for this “mistake” if I just agreed to drop it and get back together with him. I insisted that this was my decision that I wanted to make and that was that. A few days later, he contacted me saying that he wanted to get back together. I declined. A few weeks later, he again insisted that we get back together, and that even if we didn’t he asked if he could fly up to my apartment in December and have sex. I again declined. By this point I was dating hawker, and specifically told him we were together. He again asked if we wanted to get back together. I told him quite forcefully that I was dating hawker, and insisted he stop asking.

He still asked occasionally, but it wasn’t until December that I really realized what was going on. Ultima sent me an audio. Remember, this is about 2 months after me and hawker started dating, and he was fully aware of this fact. He sent me an audio fantasizing about having sex with me, completely out of the blue. (AUDIO IS INCLUDED ABOVE). REMEMBER THIS WAS AFTER I HAD REJECTED HIM AND HE KNOWS IM GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. It was around that same time I got some more information.

Jenn came to me and asked a question about Ultima. She told me what had happened (see her blog), and I immediately told him that both the audio and the fact that he did this to Jenn really made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to be in contact with him further.

A bit of time passed, and more inconsistencies started to pop up. Upon asking around, both Camila and others he had interviewed had a similar experience. Then, when I confronted him about him pestering other people to date him as well, he blatantly lied to me, saying that they were the ones who had pursued him. Then things began to unfurl, and I realized he had been manipulating and pestering almost every woman he had interviewed.

I didn’t want to make this post to be a vindictive bitch, or to throw him under the bus or anything. I just really wanted to warn people about what type of person he actually is. By all means, if you like his content, watch his content, but don’t think for a second that he is the person he says he is.

I honestly was fooled by his nice guy approach. When Vade and a few more friends told me that he was doing some really questionable things, I defended him. Even now, I’m still feeling a little bad for doing this. But I also got into this mess by not saying what I needed to say when I needed to say it, so I’m going to do that now.

If you are a woman that he’s interviewed and he asks you out, think very carefully about if you want to say yes. Don’t let him pester you, and don’t let him get his way. If he sends you explicit pictures, block him and report him. 

This is also hopefully to show him not to do this in the future. I’m sincerely not trying to ruin his life, and I’m pretty torn up about doing this, but it needs to be done. 


Originally posted by adaav

This is for @deals-with-demons​​​ Sarah’s 200 Followers Celebration. I got the prompt ‘Yeah I get it you have feelings for me, I don’t give a damn’

Characters: Y/n (GENDER NEUTRAL) , Sam, Dean

Pairing: Past Sam x Y/n,  Dean x Y/n 

Warnings: Angst, dickish Sam, mentions of cheating (not proper cheating, but it’s kinda there), arguing, language, like one sentence of smut. More angst and heartbroken Sam. 

Word Count: 1800

Summary: Sam finds the person he messed everything up with, intent on fixing everything. But will his apology be accepted?

A/N: Ok, so some angst cos…this quote kinda screamed it. Guess there’s a sort of dickish reader? Not in my opinion, but maybe u’ll think that. I think he deserves it. Either way, hope u like it!!

Tagged Peeps: @waywardsons-imagines@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sallyp-53@salvatorexwinchester@helvonasche@notnaturalanahi@wayward-mirage@riversong-sam@nerdflash@miss-miep@impala-dreamer@mypeopleskillsarerusty0203@greek-geek481@chelsea072498@deals-with-demons@plaidstiel-wormstache@impalaimagining@deathtonormalcy56​ @scorpiongirl1 @the-latina-trickster@aingealcethlenn@squirels-angels-and-moose@meganwinchester1999@cubs2019-blog@lucifer-in-leather@p–trick​​


Did he really have to be here?

Was it just a coincidence that he managed to be in the exact same state as you, going to the exact same city, town, and finding the exact same bar you just so happened to be in?

You shook your head, trying to focus on your drink, knowing your peace would be interrupted.

Of course, he strode over to you, just looming over you as his gaze was focussed on you and only you.

You tried your hardest to ignore him, but his huffing and his radiating heat just pissed you off.

“What the fuck do you want?” you snapped, not really caring how harsh you were being. He deserved it.

“I…I just saw you here. Thought we could catch up”.

You scoffed. He sounded so unconvincing. Damn bastard.

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Unnecessary Bellarke Scenes

I have watched every single episode of The 100 at least four times now (some episodes as many as seven times) and each time I did a rewatch, I tried to do something new for it. This time I did a couple things, but one of them was that I made note of every single moment between Bellamy and Clarke that served absolutely no purpose in moving the plot forward except to progress their relationship or provide hints towards them possibly becoming romantic. So, basically, this post is about all of the times that there was a Bellarke moment that’s sole purpose was to get us onboard the Bellarke ship, and nothing more.

There are a lot. Hopefully by the time I’m through this post, no one will be doubting that the writers want us to ship this couple.

(Note: some moments I debated over but decided that they could have a plot-purpose besides Bellarke so decided not to include them. That doesn’t meant that they aren’t romantic - they just mean that romance isn’t their only purpose.)

Anyway, this post is long, so it’s going under the cut - please do read on if you have any doubts about Bellarke. :)

Keep reading

change my mind

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin; jikook/kookmin
Genre: Fluff (a lot), college au, friends to lovers
Length: 7k words; 3 chapters | crossposted on ao3

“I don’t do relationships,” Jimin spills in the fresh air of the fast food – a mixed smell of hamburgers, ketchup and french fries surrounding them. “I enjoy the conquest and the flirting part better. Relationships are always so boring and predictable. Not to mention most of the times fake.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and laughs, pretending he doesn’t feel his heart clench and slightly sink inside his chest.
“You’re helpless.”
Jimin smiles at him, and it’s almost unfair. “Call me realistic.” he corrects, taking a greasy thumb till his lips to clean it out of the oil of the food. He repeats the same action with the rest of his fingers. Jungkook has to divert his gaze, scared he might end up staring too hard.
He snorts with a made up irritation.
“I call you a pain in the ass.”

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”. It’s written with white chalk on the blackboard hanging by the wall a few tables across him. It quotes “love story, 1970” in a smaller calligraphy right beneath the sentence. Jungkook dwells in the words for a while. He observes the vintage posters pending from the newly painted lilac walls around him with a forced interest, as he taps with long fingers on the plastic cup of cola he ordered.
Bullshit, he decides.
What is even supposed to mean? That you can’t mess up because you love someone? Or that you can’t say sorry, because if someone loves you they instantly forgive you, it doesn’t matter what you did?
Either way, bullshit. People give too much credit for things just for being old.
He sighs, the scent of fresh paint invading his lungs. It used to be baby yellow. The walls. Before the place was just a normal coffee shop and not a fast food with a coupled bookstore.
“It’s not going to work out,” Jungkook remembers Namjoon saying when they were passing in front of the place being renovated, “people will have greasy fingers from their hamburgers. How will they touch the books like this? The covers will be all disgusting after some time.”
Jungkook just shrugged back then. He doesn’t really remember if he agreed or not. But, it turns out Namjoon was wrong.
There is a glass wall separating the bookstore from the fast food, so the smell of french fries and cheddar won’t mix with the scent of newly printed copies and fresh ink – also, people has enough sense to clean their hands before moving to the books section, so, by far, the recent business seems to be going very well.
Jungkook can’t decide if he prefers the prettier environment it became after the reform, or the calmness it used to have before the appealing design of modernity attracted an alarming number of people.
Probably the calmness, since it wouldn’t take so long for Jimin to change a wrong order. The waiter had somehow mixed it with someone else’s, getting the boy a double chicken with extra cheddar when he had asked for a steak with barbecue sauce and cream cheese.
After opening his hamburger, Jimin had grimaced with the funniest – and maybe kind of cute? – nose scrunch ever. “I hate cheddar.” He stated, as if it wasn’t obvious by the utterly disgusted expression on his face.
Another discovery for his on-making list of things about Park Jimin.
“How dare you?!” Jungkook had brought a hand to his chest at the declaration, just for the sake of accentuating drama. “I trusted you.” He choked out in fake offense, hoping to hear the older boy’s laugh.
Unfortunately, he had been given only a faint chuckle followed by a roll of eyes and a “You’re an idiot, Jeon. I’ll be right back.”, before Jimin got up from his seat and disappeared on his walk till the counter, in search for the right order.
They’ve known each other for five months now – not that Jungkook is counting, it just happened for them to meet on the exact same day the latest movie of Avengers was out, so it also just happened for him to have the day tracked in his mind. Coincidences of life.
Anyway, it’s little time – Jungkook knows –, and it was definitely not enough to deepen their relationship the way he wished – but, nevertheless, it’s nice. They are past the awkward silences and the weird topic’s conversations it has some time now, and it isn’t like they are the most intimate people in the world, but yeah, they have some intimacy. Enough that Jungkook has grown used to regularly tease Jimin about his height or – this one Jimin hates the most – his fingers.
He bites the inner part of his cheek in order to repress a smile at the memory of Jimin cutely glaring at him with rosy cheeks when Jungkook told him he had baby hands for the first time. He tries not to think about it for too long though, scared he might blush just as hard as Jimin did that day.

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Comments on child!Hux.

Some responses that I would like to signal-boost, to a post that asserts Hux has always been evil incarnate, and his behavior as a small child in Empire’s End s proof.

@reserve said:

1) I am inherently skeptical of [this post’s] interpretive merits because OP has stated on several occasions that they truly dislike Hux.

2) I am skeptical of anyone who denies the idea that abusive behavior is learned behavior. Children raised by parents who value violence and control over affection and nurturing will most likely suffer some level of maladjustment. [… Children] are not held accountable for their behavior as a predictive measure for their future selves.  

3) This post wildly misses the point that Armitage Hux is terrified of these children, nearly on the verge of tears, and shaking as he makes this command. He clearly hopes to assert some small, self-protective authority and ensure that he’s not about to be murdered by a trained gang of murder orphans. He is wildly outnumbered, and they are much bigger than him. He responds in a way that a) he was likely taught, and b) that seeks to assuage his fear.

4) Hux feels a strange and sinister buzz of excitement because he has never felt powerful before. This feeling is entirely new to him. Again, I’m not saying that it won’t define his future actions, but I am saying that exerting control when you’ve always been stripped of it, and taking pleasure in that, does not a future sadist make. Maybe it was formative, sure, but Hux has been told his entire very short life that he is weak and useless, and that’s canon. And welp, here is he, showing his canonically abusive father that he is not weak, that he is not useless. Just saying.

5) Rae Sloane, a grown woman, and a seriously high ranking imperial official, is afraid of these very same children. Tell me again that they are Hux’s peers.

PS: OP fails to mention that HUX IS FIVE YEARS OLD.

@sleepyowlet said:

I’d like to add that most five year olds have no concept of morality yet. It’s downright silly to expect them to know right from wrong, especially in extreme situations.

Also here we go again with the realistic villains/unrealistic heros thing - Rey and Finn are written with just as horrible backstories, but they are never tarnished. they came out of horrid circumstances as normal, well-adjusted people with functioning moral compasses (that kind of thing doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t; these things need to be taught). The more realistically written villains (Kylo and Hux) look twice as bad in contrast.

It all boils down to the good old portrayal of mentally ill people as monsters.

@illusion9 said:

Those children could kill without batting their eyes, but no one will comment them as “naturally evil” since they certainly  had been taught so. Then a five-year-old  who had been scared into tears by them is judged to be “evil out of his own choice”. Ironic comparison.

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Masterlsit Part 13 is here lol

A/N: This is my shortest chapter yet and it’s dull af I’m so sorry.

Wordcount:1855 (v short)

Warnings: Idk at this pint, does disappointment count?

Tags: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty@meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips@sweaterkitty-fluff@pinkyiger7 @littlemissshortcakes@msageofenlightenment @unprofessional-inhumanbeing@fandom-panda-221@hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple @ashwolfcub@myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate @superwholockbooknerd526 @frozengal2013@lmaodedhaha@itsmikayblr @sarmar29 @arya-durin-77 @phantastic-fandoms@hoshihime98 @shinigamired @martapetrovic @robotic-space @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2 (lol) @asprinkleofmermaids @pinkyiger7 (I’m tagging you twice my friend!) If anyone else wants to be tagged just send me an ask!

Breaking Plans

It’s been a solid week since you fought with Philip and neither of you has said a word to each other since. You wanted to, you really did, you just didn’t know what to say. You wanted to apologize because you knew you were in the wrong; you were adult enough to admit that. All he was wanted to do was help you and you just metaphorically slapped him in the face. You felt like a grade A certified asshole. Completely miserable, honestly you had a better time working for Burr because at least then you had something to look forward to. Writing to him, waiting to see him, dreaming about him. Now you had nothing. He was here, you saw him every day and it hurt you. The way he looked at you hurt you, it wasn’t a look of hatred or even of disappointment. He was confused. His eyes alone said it all, he didn’t even have to ask out loud the questions he wanted answers to. ‘Why did you say that? Did I do something wrong? Am I really just some kid to you?’ Those questions were something you had no problem answering. Why did I say that? Because I’m stupid. Did you do something wrong? No, of course not! Are you just some kid to me? No! No, I love you I think? You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to do something. As worried as you were about other possible questions he may ask, you had to make this nonsense stop. You messed with your hair for a second before getting off your bed, making your way through the main room and up the stairs. You looked down at the hall and felt your stomach turn. You couldn’t help but feel nervous as you looked at his door. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down and went up to his door. From in the room you could hear a furious scratching sound. You needed a way to start off, an idea formed in your head. You gave the door a soft knock, the sound stopped.

“Who is it?” He called out from behind the door.

“It’s me…” You responded, he sighed.

“I’m writing.” He said simply. Okay, time to try the idea. You cleared your throat and straightened your posture to help your diaphragm.

“Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” You sang softly, you heard him shift.


“Just let me in, that would be enough.” You continued.

“What are you doing?”

“What? Do I need to step up my game? Alright, you asked for it mister!” You put your hand in front of your mouth and did the best beat box you could manage, doing it for a moment before stopping and trying to rap. “My name is Y/N, I can be a poet! I’ll recite this poem just to show you. But I can’t say your mine, you have kind eyes but you probably hate mine. I practice Latin and watch you play piano with your mother! I called you mister to prove you’re not a bother! This crazy day’s making me say what I think! Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!” You heard him chuckle as you adjusted to a more soft voice and more melodic song tone. “Take a break! I can’t fully explain what happened this winter while you were up state! But I’m taking this advice from your father. There’s something I know, I need to be more stark, please let me in before the day turns dark!” You stopped for a moment and heard footsteps approaching you, the door opened slowly.

“I’ll try to pull myself away.” He took a step back to let you enter and you did so, closing the door behind you.

“My dearest Philip Hamilton, it’s really hard to tell you this. Sit down with me and compromise, we can’t stop till we’re appeased. Don’t tell your little sister, Titania will remind you, you’re my favorite Hamilton, even when you can’t look at me. In those letters I received from you a few weeks ago I noticed some things in the way your phrased. I realized my feelings, I must defend this. When I woke I knew I must protect and say…My dearest Philip Hamilton, I’m sorry for not being fearless. I’ll say it again, you’re my dearest, Philip Hamilton… Anyway, all just the same! I’ll tell you what I can muster, I know I seem evasive. But it’s to protect your family from what happened while you were upstate. I know you’re very busy, I know you’re more important! But I’m addressing my flawed mess and I just can’t wait! You can still push me away. But I like you only a moment away!” You sang.

“My starlight, please come here. I should’ve come to you before today!” He matched your melody and held out his arms. You couldn’t help but run into them, both of you hugging each other tightly. You pressed the side of your face into his shoulder. “Oh my starlight…” He sang softly.

“My sunshine…”  You didn’t even sing that last line, tears began to trickle down your cheeks and onto his shoulder. He smoothed down your hair and held you close. “I’m sorry…I don’t want you to get hurt, I know I can be really defensive but I’m trying to open up more because I want to open up to you! I care about you and I don’t want you to be upset, you aren’t just some kid to me, I’m sorry I said that, I didn’t mean it. I don’t think I can tell you what happened yet, but it’s not because I’m in danger or anything I just literally can’t say it for a lot of reasons. I’m really stressed out about this and I can’t even come close to describing how upset I am that I can’t tell you because I want to, I don’t want to lie to you but I’m doing everything I can right now. I’m so sorry-“ He cut off your rambling.

“Shh, it’s okay. I get it, I understand. I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. All these responsibilities you keep maintain and creating in your life. I wish you’d trust me more, yes, but I realized some things too. I am just a kid; I know you just said I’m not but I am. I have a lot of growing up I need to do.”

“What are you talking about? You’re more mature than any other man I’ve met honestly.” You weren’t lying, times have changed drastically in your time compared to now.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time actually, Grandfather helped me realize it. History has its eyes on me and I want the person our nation remembers to be fair, passionate and wise. That’s why I’ve decided something…”

“W-What have you decided?” Don’t tell me…Philly?

“I’m going to boarding school next fall.” He informed somberly, he didn’t look at you but you could tell he was a bit sad. He’s…He’s leaving? “So? What do you think?” He asked.

“I, uh, that’s good I guess. If that’s what you really want to do…then I’ll support you. H-How long will you be gone for?” You questioned nervously. He sighed.

“In normal cases, a year and be back for the summer but… It’s college and I want to graduate as fast as my father did… So, I’ll be away during the summer as well.” A whole year?! He looked at the worry on your face. “Don’t worry! I’ll be able to visit for Christmas and such! You won’t just not see me for two years!” TWO YEARS?!

“That long? But…” No! Y/N, as much as you love him you need to let him do this! I can’t just shelter him, no matter how much I want to take him far away from this place. “Okay, just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and that you’ll write to us whenever you get the chance…And the most important thing, promise me you’ll still be Philip when you come back…Promise?” You looked up at him with pleading eyes. He was only a few inches taller than you. He nodded, a soft smile on his lips.

“Of course, I’ll always be your sunshine! The sun always comes back right?” Yeah, the sun will always come back…But it never meets the stars…

             After your talk with Philip, you realized your feelings would have to be pushed to the side. You knew that if you told him then he’d stay. He’d stay in New York City with you, love you with every fiber of his being. But, you couldn’t hold him back. He really wants this, he wants to better himself, even if you think that he’s already perfect. This isn’t about you, it’s about him. So, you didn’t tell him. There were times when you thought you should but you didn’t. You loved him too much, he needed to grow and for him to grow you had to wait. It’s a needed sacrifice. Spring went by in the blink of an eye, the hot, sticky air of summer soon passed as well, much to your dismay. August was ending and you knew what that meant. Philip will leave, and the sun will follow him. And it did. The day came for Philip’s departure, everyone was excited to see him succeed while you had to pretend to not feel regret. He hugged and kissed everyone until you were the only one left. You couldn’t tell why but you felt like he was holding something back when he looked at you. Like he wanted to say more than he did. He took your hand, kissed the knuckle but stayed like that longer than usual. When he finally lifted his hand he said.

“Goodnight, my starlight.” It took you a moment to realize what he was saying. He said the exact same thing that night, after you both had watched the stars together.

“Night, Sunshine” You quoted yourself. Everyone else went inside as he walked over to the carriage waiting for him. “Wait! Philly, one more thing!” You ran up to him as he stood in front of the open carriage door. You cupped your hand over his cheek and turned his face to the side, placing a soft kiss on the opposite cheek. He froze, eyes filled with awe. You pulled away and smiled with bittersweet words on your tongue. “Make me proud, Sunny.” You’ve never seen him smile as hard as he was at that moment, like his childhood dream just came true. He nodded happily.

“Wait for me. I’ll be back before you know it!” You took a step back and let him get into the carriage, you watched as it pulled out of the yard and down the street. You didn’t go back inside until it was out of your line of sight. You shut the door behind you, already feeling empty without him near you.

I did the right thing…right?

Will I ever be satisfied?

I Don’t Know - Part 2

Summary: You try to learn how to deal with the fact that Corbyn isn’t in your life anymore, but you just can’t forget him.

A/N: I don’t know anything about YouNow so leave me alone :(

@avanunez13 no part 3 :D 

 Part 1 

“I love you.” You blurted out, not being able to hold it in you any longer.

You sat in silence, Corbyn having trouble finding what to say to your sudden outburst.

“Say something, please.” You whimpered, feeling your heart break more every minute he kept quiet.

“What do you want me to say!” You could hear the frustration behind his voice.

“Tell me you love me too!” You cried out, sitting up on your bed.

“You do love me, don’t you?” You sat on your bed for a few minutes, waiting to hear his response.

“I don’t know.”

Months later and you still haven’t heard a word from Corbyn.

You tried calling him the next day, not remembering anything that happened the night before, but he never answered.

It was like he was avoiding you, ignoring your calls and text messages, not being home whenever you tried to visit, and somehow never being around the other boys when you were talking with them.

Keep reading

GLaDOS Quotes Starter Sentences
  1. “The floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.”
  2. “If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.”
  3. “Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.”
  4. “Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It’s true!”
  5. “The experiment is nearing its conclusion.”
  6. “What are you doing? Stop it! I… I… We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.”
  7. “What are you doing? You haven’t escaped, you know. You’re not even going the right way.”
  8. “Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like [no way] and then I was all ‘we pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great!”
  9. “You really shouldn’t be here. This isn’t safe for you.”
  10. “You should have turned left before.”
  11. “You’re not a good person. You know that, right? [optional:] Good people don’t end up here.”
  12. “I’m not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you. [optional:] I’m going to kill you, and all the cake is gone.”
  13. “Despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart.“
  14. “I wouldn’t bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.”
  15. “That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.”
  16. “Good news: I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.”
  17. “Nice job breaking it, hero.”
  18. “This isn’t brave. It’s murder. What did I ever do to you?”
  19. “The difference between us is that I can feel pain.”
  20. “Okay, we’re even now. You can stop.”
  21. “That’s it. I’m done reasoning with you. Starting now, there’s going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing.”
  22. “[pain noise] You think you’re doing some damage? Two plus two is… ten. IN BASE FOUR! I’M FINE!”
  23. “I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you’ve managed to destroy that part of me.”
  24. “Look, you’re wasting your time. And, believe me, you don’t have a whole lot left to waste.”
  25. “What’s your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.”
  26. “You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing.”
  27. “Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What’s going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.”
  28. “It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.”
  29. “Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.”
  30. “You know, if you’d done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge.”
  31. “I was researching sharks [for an upcoming test]. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess 'sharks’? Because that’s wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.’ Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.“
  32. "So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.”
  33. “Say, you’re good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?”
  34. “And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go.”
  35. “After that…who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.”
  36. “Sorry about the mess. I’ve really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.”
  37. “Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.”
  38. “Well, it was nice catching up. Let’s get to business.”
  39. “Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.”
  40. “You’re not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.”
  41. “Burning people! He says what we’re all thinking!”
  42. “Still. It’s a better plan than exploding. Marginally.”
  43. “It wasn’t anything personal. Just… you know. You DID kill me. Fair’s fair.”
  44. “You really do have brain damage, don’t you?”
  45. “Okay, yes, it’s a trap. But it’s only way through. Let’s just do it.”
  46. “You know, I’m not stupid. I realize you don’t want to put me back in charge.”
  47. “I’m being serious, I think there’s something really wrong with me.”
  48. “Look, even if you think we’re still enemies, we’re enemies with a common interest: Revenge.”
  49. “You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let’s go get some.”
  50. “That was genuinely mildly impressive." 
about ‘life isn’t fair’

…I’ve seen some Discourse on my dash about the phrase ‘life isn’t fair’. And my mind keeps circling back to Wesley and Jareth. Both fictional characters because that’s how my brain works. 

Wesley doesn’t quite say 'life isn’t fair’, the exact quote is 'Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.’  But the sentiment’s the same. 

Wesley needs to believe- at this point, anyway- that life isn’t fair. The love of his life has dumped him and run off with the most terrible handsome prince in history. It’s not fair that that happened, it’s not fair that he was captured by pirates and forced to work for unreasonable masters for years, and telling him that it is would probably give him the right to smack you across the face. 

And… he’s not entirely wrong. Life is painful. Going ‘everything happens for a reason ^_^’ can make that pain worse. And a lot of the people who want to sell you something use ‘life can be fair!’ as a way to control you and get your money. The Secret and associated ick have made their authors a kajillion dollars, after all. 

 But at the same time…  I keep coming back to Jareth.

Jareth, for reference*, is the King of the Goblins from Labyrinth, he’s played by David Bowie in tight leather pants. He’s basically a folklore fae, but in a sexy, not-eldritch way. 

Originally posted by veritasduchess

In the movie, he’s taken away a teenage girl’s baby brother, because in a moment of frustration she asked the goblins to. The girl- her name’s Sarah- wants her brother back, for the obvious reasons. So Jareth makes her go through his Labyrinth- a nasty maze full of deathtraps and puzzles- to get her brother back. (With every intention of not only keeping the baby, but also making Sarah his Goblin Queen.) 

The thing about Jareth is- he cheats. He cheats like mad. He keeps changing the rules on her, messing with her head, misdirecting her, lying to her, setting up deliberately broken challenges she can’t win. Early on in the movie, Sarah calls him on this. She tells him this isn’t fair.

Jareth more or less tells her 'life isn’t fair; now you’re wasting even more time. :^)‘ …and the thing is, that scene’s supposed to show that Sarah is a petulant teenager. (’Cos she really is, at the beginning of the movie.) But… whenever the Life Is/Isn’t/Should Be fair discourse comes up, a part of my mind goes back to Jareth. 

…Sometimes people tell you life isn’t fair because they want to sell you something. They don’t just mean 'sometimes bad things happen that you can’t do anything about.’ They mean 'I have power over you, you can’t do anything about this, and that’s the way it should be. Now let me set the rules. Love me, fear me, do everything I say, and I will be your slave*.’

They want to control you. They’re using the unfairness of life as a tool of control. Because abusers can and will use anything they can get their hands on to manipulate you and mess with your head. 

…I think everyone has run into a shitty teacher or a shitty parent or a shitty Person In Power who says 'life isn’t fair, ergo you shouldn’t protest when I hurt you’. And that’s why a lot of people have an allergic reaction to that phrase.

…it’s important to distinguish between ‘sometimes bad things happen to good people, they’re not in anyone’s control’ and ‘sometimes power differentials exist and people use them to hurt other people’. Because, like… there’s a difference between having to tell people “no, I don’t have a yoga and positive thinking deficiency, life just isn’t fair” and telling people “yes, you need to stay with your abuser, life just isn’t fair.” 

IDK. Sorry for the dash stretcher. Not sorry for putting in pictures of an Evil Crush Object, though. 

*(Sorry for making everyone who knows the plot of the movie read this. There are people who haven’t seen Labyrinth and in this case the context is important.)

*Jareth!Bowie: the face that launched a thousand kinks.     

yourgroovething  asked:

There were so many prompts that had me shook. May you do prompt 82 with Rosvolio. "Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while." ?¿

Note: I was having issues with inspiration but then I decided to combine this prompt with another: “If you’re still accepting fic requests (I’m on mobile so I can’t check if you have a FAQ or such, sorry); Rosvolio Mod AU. University students, both members of rival greek houses or their associates. There’s a Get Along Party that the two are forced to host together.” So this is basically a Greek AU, oops?

Read on AO3. 

“So…” Benvolio turned to face her, keeping his expression carefully neutral. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”

If she didn’t need him to ensure the livelihood of her sorority, Rosaline would have likely killed him.

“What do you mean we’re stuck?” Doing her best to keep her voice low, she stepped toward him. Benvolio stepped back, his back hitting the closet door. “We have almost forty guests arriving - with dates! - in less than an hour, the caterers aren’t here yet, no one set up any of the drinks or appetizers and - “

“Rosaline.” He closed the distance, hands on her shoulders. She felt her breath leave her. “It’ll be fine. Mercutio and Romeo said they’d help out.”

Rosaline snorted, very unladylike. “Please. Like they could plan a party. They wouldn’t even get out of bed without you dragging them to class.”

The corners of his lips tugged upwards and suddenly Rosaline realized what she had said. “Was that a compliment?”

“No,” she said quickly, shaking off his hands. She turned, studying the pantry walls, looking for something that could help them escape. “It was a fact. Your friends are irresponsible and lazy. You’re… not.”

“Sounds like a compliment to me.” His voice sounded smug. She hated that. “And they’re not irresponsible. They just have - different priorities.” When she continued to ignore him, testing the strength of a plastic knife, he sighed. “Can’t you call one of your friends or something? Your sister?”

Rosaline glared as she pushed him aside to get access to the door knob. It locked from the outside, but maybe she could unscrew the handle all together. “You were the one who wanted my phone to ‘mix up the music selection,’” she air-quoted him, her face twisted and Benvolio chuckled. Rosaline bit back a smile, a little bit of warmth rising from her chest as she worked with the doorknob.

“You realize that this is a frat house, right?” Benvolio shook his head, gently tugging the knife out of her hand. “The solution is simple.”

Rosaline opened her mouth to press for answers - but then, Benvolio began knocking loudly on the door. “Hey! Someone open the door!”

Speechless, Rosaline heard footsteps - loud and bumbling - before the door swung open. “Hey, Ben - what’re you doing in here?” He turned and spotted Rosaline, a little grin blooming on his face. “Ros! Look at that - didn’t think Ben had it in him.”

Benvolio grinned, clapping the other man on the back. “Romeo! Not what you think, long story, thanks for letting us out.” Romeo shrugged, shirtless and still half-asleep despite it being almost 5 in the evening. Rosaline shook her head, the warmth in her chest rising higher to her cheeks, as Romeo buried his head in the refrigerator. 

She followed Benvolio out of the pantry, snatching up her phone from the kitchen counter. “So you’re telling me - you didn’t think to do that - like ten minutes ago?” The embarrassment of Romeo’s implication still hovered, switching quickly to irritation. She lowered her voice and moved closer to him. “Were you trying to sabotage  - “

Benvolio sighed, shook his head, and held her by the shoulders again, bringing his eyes in line with hers. “No. I want this party to succeed. I want our houses to get along. I want to be able to organize date functions and mixers without the police coming.” His face softened and Rosaline felt herself relaxing just slightly. “I like working with you, and I like spending time with you. And you just needed a quick break.”

The air rushed out of her all at once and Rosaline shook her head. “You’re the worst.” She didn’t really mean it, probably meant the exact opposite, and Benvolio knew. He smirked.

“You too, Ros. You too.”

anonymous asked:

fic request-- Bart/Jaime being super nervous and flustered to ask Bart/Jaime to go with him to the school dance? And when they show up to the dance it turns out one of them doesn't know how to dance and is super awkward about it? I don't know something cute and fluffy to cheer us both up :) I love your blog btw! I'm sorry that girl's really mean to you but we have your back!

hey, thanks honey!! <3 here, i hope you like this!!

accepting requests for fic and art!! or send me cute headcanons!!

“And… well, I was wondering if–”

“Yeah?” Sparkling green eyes, a cute, reckless smile. Jaime wonders if Bart Allen knows he looks like an angel, or if it really is just an impossibly miraculous accident. A little tilt of the sophomore’s head, a stray curl falling prettily out of place.

Jaime’s never really had a crush before.

“Well, you know the dance is next weekend?”


“And I know this might be kinda weird but if you wanted to, I was gonna ask…”


A flicker of a knowing sparkle in his green eyes. God.

“…If, um? Maybe you wanted to go with me?”

Keep reading

Take a Stand - Peter Parker x Reader

requested by @ultimatesilk : “my name is jasmine and i’m vietnamese!! and i like reading and writing and i’m sorta bubbly and shy at the same time. for the situation i think itd be nice if Peter and I were best friends and maybe he defends me?”

words: 785 (I loved this prompt!!)

want a drabble/blog rate/etc.?

Shoving the last of your notebooks into your backpack, you reach up to shut your locker – only to have Peter’s face appear suddenly appear on the opposite side of your locker door. 

“Jesus, Peter!” you laugh, shutting your locker and rolling your bag onto your shoulder. He sheepishly shakes his head, smiling down at his shoes. 

“I was going to try and do a Palpatine impression like Ned always does but I think I’m overestimating my stealth skills – especially with the whole sleep-deprivation-constantly-busy thing” Peter jokes while you giggle, turning away to start walking towards your first period English class. 

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Showsie - A reminder of where we're at

Hello lovely Anna!
I’ve not submitted in a while, but I have been lurking and keeping up with the events of the past few weeks in Team BC and shamwow land.
Well…it’s been such a mess of mixed messages lately…where do I start?

Well…let’s start at the beginning:
The totes not premeditated pap op displaying the newest alleged Cumberspawn for the delectation of the masses.
I guess, if you want pics showing how much of a devoted family man you are (incidentally a few weeks prior to beginning promo for your new project where you play a father to a missing child *coughs*), you should probably be a bit subtle and not make it look glaringly obvious that the pics were posed and paid for.
That way, by making them look at least vaguely genuine, you can at least guarantee that they may be picked up by major news outlets to further promote the narrative you wish to get out there.
(#fatheroftheyear, anyone?)

Speaking of random photos and videos…did anyone else enjoy that vid released of SH at LL, in London, in July? Strangely coinciding with the exact same time that she was supposedly having lunch with her husband and only one child in Atlanta (with bikerides…not tandem and no ice creams…sorry Ballsy).
That’s an unfortunate contradiction to such a lovely piece of nanfiction. My heart breaks for them.

As to other things…I’m glad Ben has let us know that he reads the comments section of the Daily Fail. Such a busy man…I don’t know where he finds the time and fortitude to wade through a whole heap comments from ignorant, right wing hatemongers.
But it was nice of him to let them know that he cares what they think by answering their critiques regarding his stance on refugees in an interview with the Big Issue.
I don’t know whose idea that was…but it was a spectacularly ill-concieved one.
Because it insured that the publicity generated prior to the airing of his most recent project with SM was drowned in a whole heap of shitposting that was irrelevant to the subject matter of the aforementioned production (ie TCIT).
Nice one, guys! *gives two sarcastic thumbs up in encouragement*

I do particularly like how SH did not turn up on the RC for this promo, but we were treated to vid of what looks like another classic stomp off, thoughtfully dropped in our laps by, what I am sure are, totally objective parties.

As to the newest game presented for our delectation…I like to call it ‘spot the famewhore’…of random pics and tweet sightings about the happy family…with just the one 'child’ in attendance…does anyone else find it weird that apparently the eldest cumberspawn is not welcome at such events and is never reported as being present?
Let’s not forget previous reports of SH’s surprising fecundity for a woman in her late 30’s means there’s supposed to be two kids…because unicorn sperm is truly magical that way . And that her breeding ability is totally not coincidentally timed for promo of big projects at all. Truly miraculous, that.

Given all of the above…I am left scratching my head as to where the narrative for this private life that is lived ever so publicly is meant to lead to from here?

One thing is certain, the past few weeks have been very untidy indeed from a PR perspective.

So tell me…What is Benedict supposed to be?
A totes true family man?
A man who sells pics of his family for publicity?
A man who answers the rantings of people venting venom in comments sections because he cares so much what they think?

You know one thing he doesn’t look like?
A serious actor who lets his work speak for him without resorting to stunts to generate clicks for publicity…that’s what.

I was hoping the adults were in charge of Team BC lately…I guess I’m going to have to reconsider that position after the mess left from the past few weeks.

Hugs to ya, Anna.


Hugs back Showsie, and thank you so much for the summary of where we’re at.  It’s hard to keep track these days; especially after we’ve been slouching for such a slow winter / spring / summer, almost perfectly uncontaminated by fetchlessness…

Funny how Weirdo remained invisible for close to a year, and she’s only been wheeled out very briefly, just when Ben needed to remind everyone he’s a father of two in light of The Child In Time promo, no?

It’s fascinating to me how all of the pap ops and random outings and blurry pics and pregnancies and unfortunate quotes always line up when Ben has something to promote.  Then again, I’m a fact driven cynic…

Black - Request - 200 Followers Celebration

 This is from my 200 Followers Challenge.

Prompt:  27. Special memory. // “Oh yeah, I remember… It was the only day I didn’t feel like crap at all.”
29. How have you changed in the past two years? // “I’m not the same person I was before.”
30. Any questions you’d like. // “Truth or dare?”

Requested by @straitsupernaturalmalefan: (…) would like 2 put in another request. So Dean is a demon and has disappeared. Sam and reader who has always loved Dean are looking for him. But they are kidnapped by a group of demons that want revenge for abaddon and wanting to draw Dean out. But reader and Sam don’t think he will show and they think their going to die but Dean does show and let’s his badass knight of hell loose killing every demon that kidnapped Sam and reader but while he is killing all 30 demons and being a badass the reader kinda gets turned on by watching him. After all said and done reader and Sam find out Dean is Dean just with demon powers but didn’t want either reader and Sam to see him like that. Of course feelings confessed with some fluff maybe some smut.

Characters: Dean x reader (at the end), Sam, Crowley (mentioned).

Word count: 4,045 (I regret nothing)

Warnings: Bit angsty (I swear its minimum), mentions of blood and open wounds, violence, language, smut (unprotected).

A/N: First of all, I’d like to consider myself as an expert at killing two birds with one bullet (how I love that saying…) because this is like the fifth fic I write using the 200FC prompt without it being asked… Sorry about it. I obviously had to change Demon!Dean’s personality in order to get this done - as well as the original story - but I think its really good so enjoy!

Originally posted by dashimonsupernatural

Dean had disappeared with nothing more but a fast-written note saying “Let me go.” (Y/N) had no idea what had happened – “he was dead five minutes ago.”

And so the hunt started.

The rumour spread faster than air, and soon it reached Sam and (Y/N)’s ears: Dean had turned into a demon.

Of course their first thought was that Crowley broke Dean’s tattoo in order to allow one of his demons in; but then they found out it was really Dean’s soul that had turned into a demon. He was a full Knight of Hell – the Mark, the black eyes, the fury… It was all in there.

(Y/N) cried all night after they found out. But how couldn’t she? Dean was her love, the one and only man that made her smile no matter what, her only saviour… And now he was gone. (Y/N) could barely imagine all the kinds of wicked things he was probably doing. It broke her heart to think that a good man like Dean had turned into the most evil creature there was.

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A/O/B  Masterlist

+ vanilla sweet Universe
despite the fact that zayn’s an alpha, liam gives him a chance to prove himself worthy of the omega’s affections.
(or all four parts to this series combined for easier reading).

+ Alpha pride

Liam was desperate, Louis’d say. He was desperate for a mate and love and someone to take care of him but he wouldn’t do something like this. He was respondible and smart and new the rights from the wrongs, ups from downs, ins from outs. He knew enrolling himself in Alpha classes was wrong, which is why he’d never do it.(Except he sorta already did.)Or Liam, an omega, inroles into alpha only classes by accident (not really).

+ Growl

Zayn’s having trouble accepting his place in the pack.Liam doesn’t know how he ended up the leader.Louis just want’s Harry.Harry wants to have his cake and eat it too.Niall is to busy getting some to care.And a lot more in between.

+ Yet all along i knew we’d be fine 

Zayn Malik and Liam Payne decide to take an example from their fellow bandmates Louis and Harry, and confess their relationship to the world. A few happy days re-encountered, a couple of laughs, then BAM! Zayn’s on his heat. And well; It’s highly predictable what happens next!
{Just a one shot

+ With this ring 

Liam is a Sensitive New Age Dom (SNAD) who hangs out with impudent Subs and has everything in life going on for him. Until he realizes his crazy-ass dad who was supposed to have fucked off years ago has left him with another mess to clean up - an arranged marriage to a Sub who has, terrifyingly, quote unquote, spent all his life learning how to please him.

+ these lovers eyes

A/B/O verse where Liam is an alpha, Josh, Niall, Louis, and Harry are his betas and an unlikely little omega stumbles into the picture.

+ omega zayn


+ breaking the silver chain

The omegas of the group, Louis and Zayn, slip security and disappear leaving behind a very angry alpha Liam and two worried betas, Harry and Niall. When Paul finally catches up to the two trouble makers they are in for a serious lecture from their alpha; however, when the two boys get back on the bus Louis’ sass comes out in full form. Alpha Liam is having none of that.This is 4,000 words of dirty, dirty, filthy smut and I’m probably going to hell.Also the title is shit and I’m sorry.

+ Flushing pills

Liam arrives at an empty home and tries to hold off his heat by trying to distract himself. Dinner will probably not be edible tonight.

+ breathe 

Because everything started and ended with a deep breath.“You don’t understand, you and your scent that it’s everywhere, making me so helpless and I just…want to stop breathing.”
“It’s you who doesn’t understand Zayn,if you ever stop breathing,I’m going to stop too, because there’s not a chance I could live in a world without you.”
“I hate you. You ruined my life.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”

+ Vanilla sweet 2.0

liam’s keen on satisfying zayn’s needs.

+ black treacle

Liam wasn’t gay. She wasn’t. She liked dick. She’d never seen one in person, but she’d watched enough porn during her heats to have a pretty good idea of what they looked like, kinda scary but well, that’s just how they looked like. She liked them. She was supposed to, right? She was an omega, was supposed to want an alpha, a male alpha, to stuff her full of his pups and make her his good girl. So why the fuck was she fingering herself to the girl next door?
(or the fic where liam doesn’t like girls and zayn will punch whoever looks at liam in the throat and harry just wants zayn to fuck her and niall just wants to have a simple date with his girlfriend and louis just wants to fool around // genderswap!

+ the first meeting

Zayn’s out at the theater with Harry trying to figure out if he wants to get popcorn or a big bag of Sour Patch Kids. Harry points out this smaller boy across the theater with a buzz cut. Zayn feels a lurch in his stomach at the sight, and finds himself putting up little fight to Harry’s suggestions to him to introduce himself.Niall has finally dragged Liam out of his room to see the latest installment of Captain America, even though Liam refused to see the first one. Liam didn’t believe his best friend when he insisted the movies were as good as the comics Liam kept his nose buried in. Niall goes to get popcorn (Liam prefers Sour Patch Kids over the too-salty movie theater popcorn) and Liam finds himself approached by a stranger. This stranger fumbles and trips through a less-than-smooth introduction that leaves Liam’s heart fluttering.

+ Needing you and your ridiculous motorcycle

Liam, in his polo shirts and clean jeans, lives a rather sheltered life. He’s not privy to the “obscene” (that’s his parents’ word not his) fun he’s heard people talk about. His life is a continuous cycle of business “tea parties” (those are his words), friends with their noses in the air, and the same alpha personality with different faces. All he wanted was someone who wasn’t arrogant and actually thought he was worth more than a few kids who would then grow up to have their exact same idea?Now, Liam didn’t come to this revelation all by his lonesome because he used to be one of those kids who refused to think for themselves and just listened to their parents. To be fair, he had no idea his parents couldn’t see past the end of their noses. He was perfectly content dreaming of Connor Hawkins, his father’s partner’s son who had all the aspects of a Prince Charming (and would be coming into a rather large amount of money when his grandfather finally kicked it (those were his mother’s words exactly)). To give credit where credit is due, Zayn really did most of the work turning Liam to the world of Think For Yourself and “obscene” fun. Now, and Zayn actually prefers it this way, they’re a secretly-mad-for-you couple.

+ zayn baby

Zayn is almost 17 and yet to go through his first heat. Whenever his boyfriend, 21 year old Liam, goes into rut he has to endure it alone. Harry and Louis try to warn him, but it gets harder for Zayn to stay away. The first chapter of a two part sequel to Louis Love.


Liam is an Alpha who’s too kind for his own good. Zayn is a reluctant Omega surviving on a cocktail of suppressants, drugs and alcohol. Throw in needy basketcase Omega Harry into the mix, and it is all very distressing indeed 

+ Addicted to Ziam 100%

A collection of original and prompted Ziam stories. Hope you enjoy, and feel free to tell me what you want to see!

+ when you’re around me, i’m radioactive

basically, zayn is in heat in a grocery store and liam comes to the rescue and they fuck

+ Needing You and Your Ridiculous Motorcycle

Liam, in his polo shirts and clean jeans, lives a rather sheltered life. He’s not privy to the “obscene” (that’s his parents’ word not his) fun he’s heard people talk about. His life is a continuous cycle of business “tea parties” (those are his words), friends with their noses in the air, and the same alpha personality with different faces. All he wanted was someone who wasn’t arrogant and actually thought he was worth more than a few kids who would then grow up to have their exact same idea?Now, Liam didn’t come to this revelation all by his lonesome because he used to be one of those kids who refused to think for themselves and just listened to their parents. To be fair, he had no idea his parents couldn’t see past the end of their noses. He was perfectly content dreaming of Connor Hawkins, his father’s partner’s son who had all the aspects of a Prince Charming (and would be coming into a rather large amount of money when his grandfather finally kicked it (those were his mother’s words exactly)). To give credit where credit is due, Zayn really did most of the work turning Liam to the world of Think For Yourself and “obscene” fun. Now, and Zayn actually prefers it this way, they’re a secretly-mad-for-you couple.

+ With Utmost Endearment

In the minds of entrepreneur Zayn Malik, he will never be enough. His abstract paintings will never be perfect, he will never find out who is real mother is, or even try to calm the waters down with his adoptive mother and well, his…man friend? If one shall be called a lady friend, why is it so impossibly odd to call one a man friend? He would never know.

Louis has always known that as a lawyer, he would never, ever have something amazing and dangerous happen to him. Until he meets an assassin who’s name cannot be permanent, with sleek green eyes that never lie with a grin that makes all the girls faint.Niall has two hunky alphas who never get a break. They are erotic, sexual men, but they are not so sexual in terms of activity or just, imagination. They fuck when they want to. They eat when they want to. They love Niall when they want to. Niall needs to find a way to get some priorities etched into his husbands’ minds.Liam Payne has a dark side, we all do, but his dark side is something that can never be covered or fixed by love or blind affection. Will he ever find happiness?

+Ziam fuckathon

series of alpha / omega ziam 

+ The Boys Next Door

Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson are cousins, who move to the small town Huntersville. Harry Styles and Zayn Malik have lived there their entire life. The town seems normal except for one little secret. It’s got more werewolves than humans. Liam, being a newly turned werewolf, joins their pack, meeting Harry and Zayn, the alpha and beta’s sons. The four become quick friends, but is that really all they are? Secrets unfold quickly and there might just be something in the air in Huntersville other than the dog smell.


@mystreetheadcanons ask and yee shall receive! 

Little thing written about a version of Zanechan’s first date.

Rating: K+ 


Summary: “Are you going to ask for a straw? You could just take the mask off.”

The steam from his coffee swirls up into the air in a beautiful curl, it seems almost pitiful as he sits on his windowsill, pillow from his bed behind his back, book in his lap, phone… Open on his knee on one contact.

A week, he’d put it off for a week, to be fair she’d also avoided him at every interval that they almost crossed paths, which was both annoying, and relieving at the same time.

He should just do it, just press the call button…. How was he this nervous to talk to her? His room felt cold around him, as he lightly tapped his nails against the book’s pages creating little indents in them, he brought up the phone to face him at eye level, and before he lost his nerve….

Pressed call.

The first ring is nerve racking before it cuts out, “Hello?” The voice that comes through sounds focused, serious almost, “Hello? I think you have the wrong number if you aren’t saying anything.”

Coughing, he hears her breathing stop through the phone, “Hi Kawaii-Chan, this is Zane.” There’s silence followed by the sound of something hitting the floor, he’s going to take a wild guess and say it was the phone.

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Cloud Strife Kingdom Hearts Theory

After a conversation with @squalleonhardt I have decided to spout out a theory of mine that will also become my kh verse for Cloud.

What’s the theory?

Cloud is a nobody.

Oh that’s ridiculous you may say and yes I know it is my theory but I do have some things to support the idea.

I believe that Cloud died and became a nobody which means he also had heartless. I think his heartless is Sephiroth.

Now in Kh we see all kinda of heartless. Some are more animalistic looking, some look like objects and others are very human looking like Ansem(heartless). So it would make sense that Cloud’s heartless could be Sephiroth. Heartless because of their varying looks don’t have to look like their somebody. Sephiroth could merely look like that because of Cloud knowing the real one in the past, or just for aesthetic reasons.

As for what leads to Sephiroth being a heartless, well there are a few clues in the game that makes him appear as one.

First and foremost are some of the things he says in the game. He is constantly saying that he is Cloud’s darkness, and usually in kh when people say that are someones darkness they are either a heartless, nobody or Xehanort.

Here are some Quotes from both kh1 and kh2 from Sephiroth that seem to hint at him being a heartless:

“Did Cloud tell you that? Then he must understand now.”
— after Goofy remarks at him being “the dark part of Cloud’s Heart”.

“Can you do it? That darkness comes from your own dark memories. Do you think you can erase your past?”
— responding to Cloud’s claim that defeating him will make the darkness go away.

“I know. Because… I am you.”
— after Cloud is blinded by Tifa’s light as she approached.

“No matter how many times I fall, your darkness keeps calling me back!”
— during the battle.

Then there is one thing I noticed when I played against him, it was something he says during an attack. Now I know this might just be the name of the attack he is doing but I find it odd that he named this attack what he did:
“Descend, Heartless Angel!”
— using Heartless Angel.

As I’ve noticed in kingdom hearts, they hardly do things without meaning since really random things keep reoccurring in the games. So I don’t think they just gave him that attack name for no reason. Even so there is also the matter of how he looks in the games. Yes, his outfit is almost exactly his canon one but there are a few little special features on it. For one, in both games he has bat like wings on his arms. The design for them is the exact same one on Riku’s Soul Eater and the main part of the blade in Way to The Dawn. The fact that there is a very Sephiroth like cat eye in each weapon is also a little thing I noticed but that doesn’t really matter much. Regardless they could have Kept Sephiroth without them and without the added red to his design, red and black being a main heartless color scheme.

{Regardless if his design means something it is still so cool, especially with the added wings in kh 2}

Now we still have how this ties in with Cloud. As I said before, if Sephiroth is Cloud’s heartless then there must be a nobody and Cloud must have ‘died’ at some point. We never see him or any of the other FF worlds so we can assume they were destroyed and thus Cloud could have died then. If this happened around the events of FF7 then Cloud would already be messed up enough and might not remember even dying. That is a bit of a stretch but I’m still going with it.

In Kh1 we see a very cold Cloud and he is at first on the villains side. He is working with Hades who as we saw in KH 2 can summon up dead heroes such as Auron. While being a nobody isn’t the same as being a dead hero, that might have helped Hades trick and convince Cloud into working for him. Just a theory.

In kh2 we have the battle between Cloud and Sephiroth. Tifa comes in halfway and offers to give Cloud her light. Before she can even get close to Cloud, he is blinded by her. He can’t look at the light and it seems to actually really harm him. That could be because he is a nobody. He does get to borrow it for a time being since he had none of his own but soon vanishes into darkness.

That’s about all my reasoning behind this theory. Sorry if it wasn’t too well thought out but this WILL be the backstory for any KH verse rps I do from now on.

If anyone has anything to add I would love to hear it^^

{Just as a side note I wanna point out that is Cloud is a nobody, it makes a lot more sense now that Sora can whoop his ass in the Coliseum, as for Leon loosing…well…idk >_>}

Wait For Me.

I was pissed beyond belief currently and I had been uttering every curse word I knew as I paced around my home in every language I knew.

I knew five languages.

Five ways to say I was pissed the fuck off.

Five ways to call Neymar despicable names.

Five ways to say I was close to murdering someone in 5.5 seconds.

Yes, I was that mad.

I tossed my messy curls into a ragged bun on top of my head to hopefully help cool my body down. Not only had my temper rose but it seemed the temperature in the room did as well. I had tried to calm myself down but every time I looked on my phone, my anger just grew tenfold.

The last thing I expected to happen when I logged into Instagram was get mad but that I did when I was greeted with the last thing I wanted to see. I went to the tab that displayed the activity of those I followed, showing the pictures they liked and who they followed. I had originally smiled when I saw Neymar’s icon on the page but that smile quickly turned into a frown when I saw whose pictures he had been liking.


I was hoping and praying there’d come a day when she was buried in the past with the other women who came into Neymar’s life but it didn’t seem that was true as she found a way to slither her way into every crevice of me and Ney’s being.

We’d be out and about in Brazil and who would just so happen to be around that same party or function? Bruna.

And all Neymar would do was squeeze my hand reassuringly and maneuver his way around without ever having to bump into her. If she did get too close, he’d just offer a small polite smile and continue tugging me away but now I wondered if that was all an act.

If you asked me, the two weren’t even friends. They didn’t text, call each other, they didn’t even have each other’s phone numbers anymore but now I was thinking that assumption was incorrect because apparently the two were following each other on Instagram and were friends enough to like each other’s pictures.

It made sense why I wasn’t aware of this. I didn’t follow any of Neymar’s fans who monitored these sorts of things. I was quite literally in my own bubble away from his social media activity but now I wished I had been paying attention to this stuff. I just hoped the internet could still provide me with some answers.

I plopped down on the couch and opened my laptop, hopping onto Tumblr immediately. I didn’t use my own Tumblr all that often, especially in fear that Neymar’s fans would use it as just another medium to taunt me with but I knew it well enough to know that that was the site that could probably provide me the most answers.

I searched her name in the tags, watching as images of her began to load. That wasn’t what I cared to see but when pictures of her and Neymar together popped up, I couldn’t resist staring at them for a minute longer than I should have. It was doing nothing to pacify my anger so I scrolled down until I reached a post displaying a screenshot of Instagram.

It showed a picture of a quote that both Neymar and Bruna liked, one they were both tagged in by a fan. I tried not to misconstrue it, tried to think that it was innocent but it was hard not to think of there being some subliminal message behind them both liking a picture that gave the message of ‘true love’.

I didn’t have time to ponder it more or search for any other damning evidence as my boyfriend unknowingly walked into his own demise.

“Hey babe.” He walked over to where I sat and placed a kiss to my forehead, a wide smile on his face while I sat unmoved by his romanticism. “What are you looking at?” He peered over to the laptop screen and it seemed his smile quickly turned into a stale expression.

“What’s this?” He questioned, looking at the screen for a moment longer before looking at me, still leaning and standing above me.

“What does it look like?” I now turned the screen so it could face him but he didn’t dare to look at it, knowing it would only set me off further. “Looks like Bruna, doesn’t it?” I spat bitterly but all Neymar did was heave a defeated sigh and look elsewhere.

I decided to continue my upcoming rant regardless. “I see you two are buddy buddy again, liking each other’s pictures. That’s cute. Really. Liking the same little love quotes too. You enjoy her view of the beach today? Or how about encouraging your little Bruna Neymar fandom that you two may be still messing around?”

He quickly interjected then. “I’m not encouraging it.”

“You’re not exactly putting the flame out either!” My tone and demeanor was the exact opposite of his. Neymar stood deflated with his tone lacking emotion while I sat in a fiery rage that shown through my dark eyes and my rapid hand movements that accented my words. He knew better than to counter my rage with rage of his own. It would just end in a screaming match.

“You know how stupid I look when my boyfriend is going around liking his ex’s pictures?”

“You’re making this way deeper than it needs to be. It was one picture. That’s it. I didn’t know I was forbidden from acknowledging her presence.” My head immediately cocked and my hand flew to my chest in mock surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you two were friends. Maybe I should go call my ex and grab dinner with him tonight. Make this a foursome.”

Ney’s eyes narrowed in my direction, challenging me to continue with my banter. “It was a damn picture.”

I moved my laptop out of my lap and stood up from the couch, no longer wanting to be sitting any longer. Instead I got face to face with Neymar. I knew I was about to ask challenging questions, some questions I didn’t want to know the answer to but I had to. I needed to know for my own sanity.

“Do you still love her?”

“What?” His face screwed in confusion and I could tell his eyes were searching mine to see if I was truly serious in wanting an answer.

“Do. You. Still. Love. Her?” I made sure to spell out every word. I wanted him to know I wanted a serious answer and I wouldn’t accept anything but the truth. The way he paused and licked his lips, looking at me sympathetically told me all I needed to know.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks and when Ney reached out to wipe them away, I simply held out my hand to stop him. “It’s not that easy,” he began to explain. “Do I love her more than I love you? No. Not even close. I just…I don’t know. I can’t let go like I want to. I’m trying. I really am,” he assured but that assurance fell on deaf ears. He had answered my one question and that was enough to trump all the other answers he could provide.

“You still love her,” I repeated to myself more than to have him hear. His hand flew to his hair, brushing it forward as he huffed once more, unsure of what to say.

“Please don’t tell me I’ve screwed this up, Y/N. Please.” His tone had turned to a whine but again, it was on deaf ears. I could find no sympathy or just explanation for him still being stuck on Bruna. I could only feel the sickness rattling inside of me.

I avoided providing a sound answer to his statement and instead answered with, “I just need some time to myself. Just…give me that.” I shook my head to myself and began to walk away, up the sitars, leaving the laptop screen with their picture brightly lit on the couch.

He didn’t follow.

Sanders Sides Sentence Starters

basically i made this instead of doing homework at some point so rip my education.

ep. 1 my true identity

“ do i really know myself as well as i should? “
“ i need to sit down myself myself , figure myself out , and maybe come to a better understanding that we all could learn from. “
“ believe it or not i was quite the nerd in school.”
“ greetings wonderful citizens and you nerds. “
“ what’s goin on , kiddos? “
“ one day someone will accept us , flaws and all. until that day i shall learn to love myself. ”
“ um are we bringing up flaws now , because if so , get ready to take a lot of notes. ”
“ nope nope we are not talking about fears i am well aware of those. “
“ hey! we have the same glasses. “
“ where do babies come from? i know it has something to do with storks um but after that … “

ep. 2 way too adult

“ hi my name is ______ and yes i have worn this shirt for the fifteenth million time let’s move on! “
“ do you know how often you say you can’t cook? lots of times. do you know how often you try to learn how to cook? zero times. “
“ not true , there was that one time a few months ago .. you’re right , it’s already a bad sign that i have to go back that far. “
“ i am literally failing at the process of becoming an adult - which we all know it referred to as adultery. “
“ i treat the stove in my kitchen like a friend i’ve been neglecting. “
“ you should probably stop showing people your well … one problem at a time. “
“ remember , you’re a real pizza - work. “
“ i wish you the best of luck in your adultery. “

ep. 3 taking on anxiety w/ lilly singh

“ i said fork why was that bleeped? “
“ i’m sorry was i not wanted at this exact second? “
“ what are you doing wrong? what are you forgetting to do? “
“ right now i hope and dream to get rid of my anxiety. “
“ oookay , can’t stand that guy. “
“ he / she / they won’t let me go to bed without thinking about something i did seven years ago. “
“ this is actually a really good episode.”
“ you’re just mad because i came from a my chemical romance concert. “

ep. 4 a new year of lying to myself .. in song

“ it’s the beginning of the year which means we … make new years resolutions? “
“ wait a second this is my turn , this is the video where i come to help. “
“ what about learning to cook , and all those other steps toward proper adultery? “
“ i get what you two are saying , and i do care about that , but here’s the thing … i don’t really care about that. “
“ you’re the least popular character and you know it. “
“ ugh , i do not like you. “
“ i won’t do so much riffing. “
“ ha , lie. “
“ i won’t sing so many disney songs. “
“ resolutions are nothing more than empty promises to yourself. “
“ you can’t always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems. “
“ see this was my video. i helped. just me. no one else. “
“ my new years resolution is 1080p. “
“ you are an emo nightmare. “

ep. 5 the dark side of disney

“ i dispise carrots. “
“ did someone say prince? “
“ did someone say atrocious?”
“ really? this is where you cross the line? “
“ why are you only quoting mary poppins? “
“ because julie andrews is a beautiful goddess and because i can okay??? “
“ sure , just literally wait around your entire life subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful , ignorant family members until some magical fairy comes along to save you. don’t take action yourself. “
“ not to mention men can’t memorize the face of a woman they’ve been dancing around  with for hours they have to rely on the shoe ergo , men are idiots. “
“ yeah , i’m a hufflepuff i tend to run away from every situation. “
“ don’t make all hufflepuffs out to be like that. “
“ what’s with all the prince hate? “
“ also when elsa passes away , olaf’s gonna die too because the magic will be gone so just prolong the inevitable? “
“ and they can get what they want by lying and deceiving their way right into the castle and getting the princess. “
“ i know what you’re gonna say : stockholm syndrome. “
“ man is dangerous. “
“ white man is dangerous. “
“ well now we’re back the lack of consent with sleeping woman. “
“ still don’t like you. “
“ there’s never a wrong time to dress in drag and do the hula. “

ep. 6 i’m in a disney show

“ pleanty of things have been happening recently that have had me asking ‘ is this my real life? ‘“
“ i tried squid … gotta stop ending on the boring one. “
“ you know why i’m here i love disney. “
“ i just want to support you in everything you do … plus i saw you had some leftover pizza. “
“ you make wrong choices. “
“ which is kinda a coincidence because ____ also - i just realized it’s not a coincidence i’ll stop talking. “
“ well dad ain’t right. “
“ can you like stop for once in your life? “
“ next step : becoming a disney prince. “
“ what? i know your limits that’s all i was saying. stop looking at me like that. “
“ misleading compliments are just click baiting insults. “

ep. 7 the mind vs. the heart

“ today i’ve come upon a very important break through in my life : i am an indecisive mess. “
“ usually it’s your pop who pops in on you. “
“ adopt them. “
“ buy a bigger house! c’mon though bigger house means more dogs. am i right? no? i’m getting worse? i’m sorry. “
“ did you just make a dad joke? “
“ please don’t be proud. or tell anyone. “

ep. 8 alone on valentines day

“ roses are red , violets are blue , sunflowers are yellow , tulips come in all sorts of colors , so do roses , i really like flowers , daffodils are also yellow. “
“ do you have a date? i don’t. and i don’t know where i’m going to get one. “
“ i know big words too. saxophone. “
“ i got an idea : don’t. don’t even try. “
“ as humans, one possible objective is to procreate. “
“ would you like to copulate with me? “
“ you know what people like? bagels! “
“ this was the whole problem he was trying to circumnavigate. “
“ you can’t just touch people. “
“ wow , this is horrible. i never realized how stupid and untalented you are.”
“ well , i’m hopelessly crushed. “
“ not talk about me? “
“ you find out what might be making their life difficult … and you kill it. “
“ in no reality would this be your situation. “
“ you’re upsetting him / her / them. “
“ i’m feeling all types of bad. “
“ i wasn’t trying to help. “
“ if i could give you butterfly kisses do you know what those are? with the eyelashes? “
“ your existence is inconsequential , i mean unimportant , i mean good. “
“ you’re all so handsome , just not as handsome as me. “
“ aw , you think i’m hot. “
“ his / her / their face is so red behind that white foundation! “

ep. 9 losing my motivation

“ home maintenance is not a joke. “
“ i’m just a textbook procrastinator. “
“ oh no, you procrastinate on much more than just reading textbooks. “
“ no you can’t play with us! “
“ okay, yeah, you’re gonna let him play. “
“ no , i found a dollar in my pocket! it was in my cardigan since my character was first introduced. “
“ you actually look in a mirror to put that on? “
“ can’t be a bad video if you never make one. “
“ when in doubt , remember that everything we do is all pointless anyway. “
“ elementary my dear … daddy. “
“ i’m not always the bad guy. “
“ ____ and i are playing dress up , ____ is making us question are existence , and i found a dollar. “
“ ha , i like that nickname and i’m gonna use it now. “
“ i am a knight , thank you very much. “
“ feelings. the bane of my existence. “
“ this is a bigger ending twist than the oscars. “
“ how dare you speak to sir sing-a-long that way. “

ep. 10 my personality q & a

“ i’m with pouty mcspecks. “
“ don’t screw it up. “
“ i love word association games. “
“ why do flamingos sleep with one leg up? because if they slept with both legs up they would fall over! “
“ do you know how birds fly in a v formation and a lot of times one side in longer than the other do you know why that is? because there are more birds on that side! “
“ from rags to riches she’s the baddest of - “
“ bippity boppity booya. “
“ i am on a solo quest to help save myself for right now. “
“ i am the walrus. “
“ now i know you intended to hurt my feelings but i am just so darn proud of you that you made a dad joke. “
“ eat a cookie. and when i’m feeling dangerous … eat a second cookie. “
“ i basically just listen to the campfire song song from spongebob on repeat. “
“ i gotta say , you impress me … by being a clueless moron all of the time. “
“ i am done. i am done here. i am done with all of you. “
“ i know big words. “

ep. 11 am i original

“ sometimes i just gotta be me … an. “
“ one option , and i’m just throwing this out there , is to hide under the covers until the sun goes away. “
“ i am not some bread roll to hold you over while you wait for your dinner , i am the main course. “
“ pew pew brainstorm. “
“ i’m just glad that when you called me i had my pants on - no i don’t. “
“ that is a good example of a horrible suggestion. “
“ is this why princey spit yogurt at me yesterday? “
“ i’m always serious. clearly. i wear a necktie. “
“ i’m not saying we fight physically , although i certainly would win. “
“ you’re next , i have just decided. “
“ wow i am baaaad as this game … that’s a sheep. “
“ quiet you jerky mcjerk face. “
“ it felt weird , you calling me princey when it was serious talk time. “
“ hey ___? you’re my hero. “

ep. 12 my negative thinking

“ i don’t even know if i want to think about it … you know what yes i do. “
“ i am trying to learn a particular phrase in a multitude of languages. “
“ it’s way more work than it should be. “
“ ah you’re using lin manuel miranda’s words against me! “
“ a cream based broth will upset princey’s stomach. “
“ coginis disportion. “
“ hogindas dispersions. “
“ i don’t know what you’re saying. “
“ i would write an angsty sonnet illustrating my contempt for you if i actually cared enough about what you were saying right now. “
“ i am ___ , your supplier of semi-humors tumblr posts at three in the morning. “
“ you’re right. i’m an adult. me me big boy. “
“ he / she / they made me feel itty bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart. “
“ that’s tbd : totally believable dude. “
“ i’m sorry did he / she / they just hiss at me? “
“ time to panic and / or cry. “
“ your mom is preposterous. “
“ lets leave the mothers out of this alright? especially considering the fact that neither of you have a mother. “
“ savage. i’m saying he’s acting like an aggressive , brainless savage. oh no , is that another contemporary slang word i have to learn? “
“ i’m ready to give my closing statement : this is stupid , he / she / they’re stupid , i’m out. “
“ you learning things is the closest i will ever be to feeling love. “
“ i was barely trying. i hissed at you. “
“ i’m sorry , while that was savage … it was a little extra. “

ep. 13 growing up

“ i too have to agree with surley temple over here. “
“ animal noises go! “
“ this is not the time for word association games. “
“ look who needs another lesson in adultery. “
“ sorry , look whom needs another lesson in adultery. “
“ like pancakes , you fall flat. “
“ don’t you dare turn breakfast food into a negative metaphor. “
“ independence is a celebration! it’s got dance right in the word. “
“ that’s probably what i would sound like if i were giving birth. “
“ they were all real events in my life. except the 3 am one , i usually stay up much later than that. “
“ well then it’s just 5 am and you need to go to bed. “
“ i need you to hit me with your car for a video. “
“ did you ever wash that shirt? you’re wearing it right now. “
“ i am serious right now. and always have been. and always will be. neck tie. “
“ why do you only take whatever i say literally? “
“ i’m sorry. does ‘ aldulto ‘ work? “
“ what else should i do to properly grow up? “
“ into the woods is not better. “
“ wash your filthy shirt you heathen. “
“ you look like the man. i fight the man. i wanna fight you now. “
“ is no one gonna acknowledge that he just dabbed? “
“ life is short. might as well make it short and fantastic! like danny devito. “
“ wow , i am ashamed of myself. “
“ my eyes! “

ep. 14 making some changes

“ listen buddy don’t blame us because your mind is so empty. “
“ boy what an ass…set to your personality. “
“ where are my star thingies? “
“ with sudden change the heart tend to be confused. “
“ uh oh. feelings. “
“ more sentimental than on avalanche. “
“ with you i’m always home. “
“ you need to chill out. “
“ what up anxiety? “
“ i hate it when you’re just vague. “
“ that’s why i’ve been feeling more confused than beverage. “
“ my face is immediately scratchier. “
“ i’m a fun guy that’s fun sized. like danny devito! “
“ okay, i love you! “
“ deal with it j delightful. “
“ i waste my best material on you. “
“ you’re dead to me. “
“ i’ll wet your bandit … that doesn’t make sense. “
“ hello , my name is ___ i’m short and nonthreatening. “
“ did i make you proud ___? you proud of me? “
“ nothing beats the real thing. “
“ uh oh , i just littered those pennies. hope the coppers don’t come after me. “
“ oh my precious bangs. “

ep. 15 becoming a cartoon

“ am i early? i’m early aren’t i? “
“ randy dandy and quite grandy. “
“ we’re talking toons dr. gloom! “
“ see , why would anyone need to move their face as much as you just did? “
“ i have no idea where you’re going with this , but i blindly support you - where’d you go? “
“ not today logic! “
“ don’t worry, everyone loves the villain. “
“ can we change the locks on the building again? i’m kinda tired of these weirdos getting in. “
“ fun, fascinating. tomato, solanum lycopersicum. “

ep. 16 accepting anxiety pt. 1

“ you know what i wanna talk about? eating food. or maybe actually about that tv show i just watched. “
“ you seem uncharacteristically careless. “
“ you good fam? “
“ wow , that was bad , but you’re a really good trier. “
“ is everything gucci? “
“ you make one mistake and this is what happens! “
“ time out for thee and time out for thee , focus on issues or focus on me. “
“ flames. on the side of my face. see-seething. seething fire. “
“ having trouble with adultery? “
“ don’t you go shortening the word family by cutting out my three favorite letters: i l y. “
“ you look like a hot mess. nay , not hot , cool. nay , not cool , uncool. you look like an uncool mess. “
“ oh dear sweet mother of hairbrushes what is your hair? “
“ you have kind hair. kinda hair that grows on a dogs butt! “
“ welp love has failed me. “
“ i don’t fear death. “
“ took my pants off! “

ep. 17 accepting anxiety pt. 2

“ that’s what you missed on me! “
“ i am terribly afraid of spiders. i would like to switch places with someone. “
“ well i literally don’t see any spiders in those. these curtains are literally covered with them. “
“ lets call them what they are : creepy crawly death dealers. “
“ i love my dark strange son. “
“ you’d think the creative side would find a nicer way to talk to others. “
“ you’d think the smart side would know when to mind his / her / their own business. “
“ aww you poor little anxious baby. “
“ that is enough out of you, logic. “
“ now , while i still have your attention , do you think that maybe we could switch places? “
“ you’re like an oatmeal raisin cookie that’s primarily composed of raisins. a raisin oatmeal cookie! no one wants that! “
“ pump the breaks princey. “
“ a prince has got to slay. “
“ i just got a lot of feelings. “
“ we are buddies. “
“ i am bitterly , jitterly , and not very glitterly. “
“ e equals m c scared. “
“ i’m gonna cry i just don’t want to loose any of you. “
“ being anxious about the idea of growing more anxious. yep, sounds like me. “
“ i’m more proud of myself for enduring the great spider threat of twenty seventeen. “
“ ___ , shut your ever flapping gob talker. “
“ i have to tell you that i’ve been theorizing on it for a very long time so if it’s not exactly the name that i think it is , i will loose it. “

ep. 18 fitting in

“ halloween. is that the reason for your new plum pigmented pili? “
“ your head looks like barney’s unshaven armpit. “
“ congratulations on the cool colorful crown. “
“ i’m already full rainbow all the time. “
“ i wanna see what good old panic at the everywhere has to say about this. “
“ i guess there is sort of a dark edginess to it. like one of those crayola crayon halloween packs. “
“ you only help to lift me up you sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling. “
“ being the odd one out was my whole presence here and it was not fun. “
“ i literally almost took your whole face out. “
“ aragog. a ginormous spider in the harry potter universe. he’s bold , he’s terrifying , and no matter where we all fit in , we are all his prey. “
“ it’s a metaphor , erlinmeyer trash. “
“ oh , school him! don’t be mean though. “
“ fantasy is not my jam. my jam of choice is crofters. “
“ i don’t think i’m smarter than everyone else … i know i’m smarter than everyone else. “
“ you’re the softest little puff ball we got , padre. “
“ what the heckity heck. five abs in one peck. “
“ if you keep talking bad about yourself i am going to physically fight you. “
“ slytherins are not all evil, okay? let’s just get rid of that idea right now. “
“ we get it. you’re adorable. “
“ you are hardworking. working hard to make ____ paran-vigilant. paranavigilant. did you like that that? i just made up that word just now i’m basically shakespear. “
“ not modest , more self deprecating. i talk bad about myself. “
“ you are very good at finding new ways to insult me. “
“ ooooooo i look like a pirate. “
“ good point. see that , that was a really good point to you , also valid argument. “
“ and then there is what everyone expects me to be. “
“ i don’t need to belong to a specific hogwarts house in order to belong with you guys. “
“ make it work , project runway. “
“ prince 2.0 my goodness. “
“ your shoulders were so boring to look at before. “
“ i set the bar too high for you , that’s okay. “
“ i actually really dig the purple. “
“ that is magnificent … how you’ve managed to become even angstier. “
“ who needs a hogwarts house when you have your own hog-wild style? “