i melted one in the microwave

In case no one told you growing up

Many wonderful additions have been posted in the reblogs if you care to look through them (the post would be a giant if I added them all, plus I don’t see them all myself).

An anon asked me for a version of this specifically for feminine hygiene. You can see it here.

Edit: Previously, this post explained how to sanitize a sponge in the microwave - something I did read on several sites before adding to the list. However, I removed it due to concerns expressed by other readers about the creation of super bacteria/possibly melting plastic based sponges.

~~~~

  • Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.
  • If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)
  • Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.
  • Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.
  • Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.
  • To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.
  • Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.
  • Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.
  • If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right/it’s the wrong size. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.
  • Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advanced of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.
  • After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.
  • Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.
  • Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.
WOOT BROKE W(b)ITCH HAUL

HEY YOU

YES YOU

ARE YOU BROKE BUT STILL WANNA PULL THE THREADS OF THE ETHER AND DEFY THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF MAN INVOKING THE ANCIENT MAGICK?

GOOD.

You and I are gonna go S H O P P I N G

But, Semiramis! I just told you I’m broke! I can’t get nice things!

*smack*

WRONG.

The world is full of wonders, one of them being

DOLLAR STORES

Remember sweeties, a witch’s best friend is scavenging.

Open your eyes. Look around. Scout your neighborhood.

But what about the things that I can’t get out on the streets!?

That’s what we’re shopping for!

Now before we move on, close your eyes… then open them again because you need to read the rest of the message… and repeat the following mantra:

THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING BUT MYSELF.

No fancy ingredients, no pretty crystals, no expensive incenses will work better than your RAW HEART AND SOUL.

Mkay?

Now let’s go get some of that good shit.

How good?

Diz gud.

Now, it’s no mystery that a broke ass witch needs to pay a visit to the local dollar stores to get her materials every once in a while, but if you’re like me and live in a place where there are no dollar stores (and there are no dollars either) WHERE TO GO?

The answer is here:

CHINESE IMPORT STORES ARE YOUR NEW SANCTUARY.

These places are AWESOME for a witch on a budget, because they carry EVERYTHING. From toys to art supplies to kitchenware…

AND SPIRITUALITY SUPPLIES.

(That’s where we come in)

Speaking of budget, by the way. Let’s set one.

Say… $15?

FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS. I will take you home with some nice and rare goodies that will spice up your spells.

Let’s go in.

Oooh what a promising start. This here, my friends, are 25 grams of the purest coke Palo Santo wood. Don’t like it in its natural state?

They have it in incense too!

But we ain’t getting that shit. I’m allergic so I can’t burn anything scented or else I… die.

But know they’re there, as well as essential oils, and they’re quite accessi-

WHAT!?

28 BUCKS FOR A BOTTLE OF ESSENTIAL OIL!?

AIN’T NOBODY GOT CASH FO DAT

Nah I’m just kidding. This is the price in pesos, meaning that these oils are *math happens* $1.55 each!

What a D E A L

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR BECAUSE I’M SOON TEACHING YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN OILS.

Also, holy shit…

You HAVE to see the candles aisle in this place.

They have them twirly

Large

Larger

The photo is not blury, you’re drunk

Scented

Scentless

Birthdayful

Oh hellooo thereee~

Twelve candles for $1.94 you say?

Meaning SIXTEEN CENTS A CANDLE?

Adopted.

Don’t let anyone tell you cheap candles don’t get the job done, people!

Plus they burn just as good.

NOW at this point the store was 10 minutes away from closing time, so I had to stop taking pictures to get my ass outta there, BUT

Here’s a look at what we got:

That doesn’t look too good, let’s add a F I L T E R

Those little crochet doilies that will serve as my new altar tablecloths? They were $0.55

But Amis! Those don’t look too witchy, more like what my grandma puts under her vases!

First of all, how dare you.

Second of all, how dare you.

Granmotherly stuff is witchy by D E F I N I T I O N. Embrace the grandma aesthetic, y’all!

Also:

If you’re poor you have to be CRAFTY. Look at that! It has a pentacle now. How long did it take? Literally 30 seconds! Imagine what we could do with a whole afternoon!

Ok, I admit it, that was a fiasco, BUT WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING THERE.

Let’s take a closer look at what else we brought, shall we?

This tiny chest is 7.5 cm wide x 5.5 cm tall x 5.5 cm deep (3 in x 2.1 in x 2.1 in) and will hold my pocket altar. It was *drum roll* $1.70!

I was getting tired of using my mom’s big ass scissors to cut my tiny delicate herbs, so I got myself this pair of snips! Price: $0.55 and they’re sharper than Tom Hiddleston’s style. Plus they serve a multitude of purposes, like shanking a bitch.

A quick stop by the crystal shop that was also closing (pfft crystal shop. Sounds like out of a fantasy novel, love it) yields the following goodies:

-Onyx ($0.55)

-Fluorite ($0.27)

-Snowflake obsidian (hard to get where I live. It’s kinda pricey at $2.20. I recommend other kinds of obsidian or maybe just black glass as I’ve been using until today, it still works awesomely. I got the obsidian because I wanted to experiment with it and my Mentor recommended me to get it, same as the fluorite).

-And the CUTEST little quartz formation. This one kinda defeats the purpose because it was a bit pricey. You don’t need it; any clear quartz will work the same.  It was $4.50 and it was my guilty pleasure of the month. It also came with a free satchel that’s most certainly going to be used with magickal results in the foreseeable future.

More of it because it’s so gorgeous ♥

Back to the fluorite! That shit is large and cheap! Well, you see, it’s kinda ugly because I was part of a larger stone and broke down the middle when they were trying to perforate it to make it into a pendant.

But check this hot babe out

W O R K I T

Coming back from the imports store, I paid a visit to my pot dealer erh I mean my herbs supplier. Got myself some ginger for $0.27

AND THEN

I SAW IT

Maybe they don’t package it like this in your country, but here this little shitty capsule is worth its weight in GOLD.

Y’all know what this is?

This is SAFFRON.

Now normally I steer fucking clear of things this expensive, but when I asked my dealer I mean the vendor she said it was on sale.

This stuff LITERALLY sold by FRACTIONS OF GRAMS. In this case that’s 0.2 grams of saffron, that’s 0.007 ounces. YES. ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO SEVEN. Insert here Bond reference

Retail price? Normally around $8 per capsule (EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS!)

How much on sale?

TWO DOLLARS.

A tip for the broke witch: hunt down for sales. Even if you don’t use the ingredients in your spells, you can still trade them with other witches or with anyone, really.

After this I went home and decided to try out my new candles.

And as I said, if you’re poor, you gotta get crafty!

I cut one of the candles in half. A part went to my pocket altar, and the other half

I used one of those ceramic saucers with the little erh… lower level circle in the middle?

USE CERAMIC. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT RESISTS TEMPERATURE WELL AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

Melt the wax in the microwave or on the flame and then make sure it stays in the center of the saucer. Then take it out and wait until it cools down (or put it in the freezer if you are an impatient little shit). DO NOT LET IT SOLIDIFY COMPLETELY.

Then you take it out and use a round cookie cutter (or if you’re a cheap ass like me, find something else)

I just used the styling nozzle of my hair drying because F U K D A P O L I C E

Put it again in the freezer and once it’s completely solidified use a spatula because you, my dear witch

Just made yourself a moon wax amulet!

Engrave it with your sigils, place it on your altar, carefully soften the bottom with heat and use it as a seal, the possibilities are endless!

BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE REMNANTS!?

EVIL EYE WARD!

The rest? Melt it again or use it as a poppet in case you wanna cast a spell over an onion ring…

By the end of the day, our haul is:

-Altar cloth $0.55

-Herbs snips $0.55

-Mini-altar wooden box $1.70

-Dozen of blue candles $1.94

-Ginger root $0.27

-Satchel $0

-Snowflake obsidian $2.20

-Fluorite$ 0.27

-Onix $0.55

-Quartz crystal formation $4.50

-Saffron Capsule $2

A grand total of $14.53!

Of our budget of $15 we still have $0.47 that where I live is enough for the bus ride back home!

If we take away the unnecessarily pricey stuff (the quartz and the saffron) we got everything for $8.03!

Now if THAT’S not magick, I don’t know what is!

SOME FINAL TIPS!

1)      REUSE as many things as you can.


2)      MOVE THOSE FEET. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but CHECK SEVERAL PLACES. Find the best prices by checking different stores and comparing.

3)      BE CREATIVE. If you find yourself in need of something you can’t afford, think and find a way to replace it or get it through other routes. As I said, witch trading is a thing!


4)      BARGAIN. There’s no shame in it, people! If you’re dealing with independent merchants and buy regularly/are buying a lot, try to get better prices! Don’t disrespect their business, though!


5)      REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA. Witchcraft requires NOTHING. Except you.

Now go out there and work your Magick!

-Semiramis, the Magpie Witchling

Experimental Saturday

Today: Brownies with raspberry swirl cheesecake. Like the last time, I just need someone to be excited with until it’s baked and cooled, and if the experiment goes well, I’ll share the ingredients as well. 🤓


So, get your ingredients and your cat out. I know I’m ready when she’s sitting there or on the microwave. Preheat oven to 350 F (180 C).

Place the butter in a heat-proof bowl and microwave it on medium for a minute or two (it doesn’t have to melt all the way in the microwave, the whisk will get the job done).

Stir in sugar and (if it’s not too hot) add eggs, one at a time. Oh and some vanilla extract. I can’t seem to live without that.

Sift in the dry ingredients (you can skip the sifting, but the cocoa I’m using can often be very lumpy, so I like to do this).

I butter my pan a little, just so the paper doesn’t move around while I’m spreading the batter (that’s the butter package).

Make sure the batter has no lumps, pour it into the pan and spread.

Bake for 20-25 minutes (when you get the cake out, leave the oven on, we have some more baking).

While the brownie batter is baking, place the raspberries and honey in a small saucepan over low heat (I’m using low heat because I’m using frozen raspberries - I don’t want to burn the honey while they unfreeze). Simmer until all raspberries completely fall apart.

Strain into a small bowl (press with the spoon to get all the ‘meat’ through, and get rid of the seeds).

Beat the cream cheese with heavy cream until fluffy, then add sugar, eggs, and (again) vanilla.

Pour the filling on top of the brownies and spread evenly. Drop spoonfuls of raspberry puree and using a butter knife, gently (and not too deep!) swirl it into the cheese.

Hm, this raspberry sauce would make a nice blood for Halloween.

Bake for another 20-25 minutes, just until the top is set.

And now, waiting!

Babysitters Extraordinaire

Originally posted by kappaskulljoke

Raphael x Reader

Babysitters Extraordinaire

Prompt: I had a few prompts for Raph and a reader with kids, so here. Lots of fluff.

“Babe? You home?” Raph climbed through the window and into your bedroom. You were usually home from work by now, so he figured he’d drop by to surprise you. Although, the fact that he was a giant mutant turtle, as usual, tended to complicate things.

“Ummmm…” Your voice was panicked and it was coming from the living room. You got up to stop him from coming into the other room, but it was too late. Your three nieces had already seen him. He stood there in the doorframe, huge, muscular, with wide green eyes full of confusion.

“Are these yours?” he asked.

“Nonononono. These are my nieces, Dahlia, Peony, and Lilly.” You said. Each of the girls gaped up at the tall turtle, but none of them screamed or shouted. The oldest, Lilly, was seven years old. Dahlia and Peony were twins, only five. To them, you were sure your boyfriend looked like a monster.

“Nieces.” Raph repeated, looking into each of their little eyes as they remained fixed on him, roaming every part of his strange body.

“What are you?” asked Dahlia.

“I’m, uh, a turtle.” He replied. The girls’ faces lit up. They loved turtles. His statement had sent them into a frenzy of speech, telling him stories about their class pets and Finding Nemo and a million of other things.

“How did you get so big?” Peony asked.

“Ummm…” Raph tried to come up with a response.

“He eats his vegetables.” You shrugged, earning a chuckle out of him.

“Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? There are lots of turtles in Finding Nemo.”

“I don’t think I have…” Raph shook his head.

“Auntie, can we show your turtle Finding Nemo?”

“Sure.” You smiled. “I’ll get the popcorn.”

“Yer just gonna leave me with ‘em?” Raph asked as you walked to the kitchen. The horror on his face was hilarious.

“Oh hush. I’ll be out in a minute.” You patted his chest and left him in the living room. You could still hear everything going on in the other room.

“What’s your name?” asked Lilly.

“Raphael.”

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“How do you know Aunt (Y/N)?”

“Uhhhhhh…” Raph tried to think of something to say, but you saved him.

“He’s my boyfriend.” You called. All three of the girls asked.

“You’re dating a turtle?!” Peony shouted. You laughed, listening to the pops in the microwave. “Yes. I am.”

“So is Raphael gonna be our uncle?!” Lilly called. You blushed bright red, and you were sure he was too. One peek around the corner confirmed your suspicion. You smirked.

“Someday.” The smile that tugged at his lips made your heart melt inside. About a minute later the popcorn was ready, so you poured it into a bowl and met with the others in the living room, where Raph was seated on the couch and the girls were waiting expectantly on the floor. They weren’t facing the TV anymore. All of their focus was on you and Raph.

“What?” you asked. They were all looking up at the two of you dreamily. Raph’s huge muscular arm was wrapped around your shoulders. He smirked a little bit.

“How did you meet?”

“He saved my life.” You smiled. “And the rest is history.”

“How do you go out?”

“Carefully.” Raph replied.

“Are there more of you?”

“Yeah.” Raph nodded. “There are. My brothers.”

Three little pairs of eyes looked up at Raph and in that moment, he realized something he hadn’t ever thought about. He wanted kids. He wanted little eyes watching him and little voices asking him questions. Before he met you, he would have never even considered fatherhood as an option for someone like him…but for once, he finally felt like he had a future.

***

Three hours later, the girls were picked up and you and Raph were left alone. He emerged from your room as soon as the coast was clear.

“Sorry about that.” You shrugged. “Sarah needed some help with them and their brother just-”

“It’s all right.” Raph grinned. You tilted your head skeptically. “No, really. It is. I…don’t mind kids.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. You smirked, resting your hands against his plastron.

“Your brothers are right.”

“’bout what?”

“I’m turning you into a softie.” You stood on your toes to poke his snout.

“N-no you ain’t! I ain’t goin’ soft! I just…”

“Mmhmm. Whatever you say, teddy bear.”

“Don’t call me teddy bear.” He crossed his arms and scowled, but you knew he loved it. There was a pause. You looked up to him.

“Do you wanna cuddle?” You almost challenged. His expression softened the tiniest bit.

“Yeah.”

“That’s what I thought.” You laughed as he laid down on the couch, holding his arms open for you as you settled in and snuggled into your boyfriend. He let out a deep sigh. Though he put on a mask of confidence, as soon as it came to you, his tough exterior melted right off, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sleep With Me - Carl Gallagher Imagine


Got this idea and decided hey why not start writing Shameless imagines.  Let me know if you like it so I can decide when to start writing more imagines!


The cool summer night’s air blew your hair over your shoulders as a soft sigh escaped your lips.  Just like every other night of the week, it had been a tough shift at work. About a month ago, you had decided to get a job as a waitress at a local restaurant.  The pay was far from ideal and the treatment from many of the customers was horrendous, but you needed to support your family and waiting tables was the best job you could get as a high school student in Southside.

You stared straight ahead as you walked under the high school bleachers, taking your typical route to get home.  The purse on your arm was clutched tight to your side. You had lived in Southside your whole life, and had your fair share of encounters with drunks and criminals.

“Y/N…” A soft voice to your side caught you off guard, causing you to come to a halt and take a protective stance.  Once you realized who it was, your muscles relaxed, but the hard look on your face remained untouched.

It was Carl.  Carl Gallagher.  Neighbor Carl.  The Carl who had been your best friend until he went to prison and came back a “changed man”, not interested in hanging out with a “innocent girl” anymore.  The Carl you had secretly been in love with for years.  The Carl who left you heartbroken and alone.

“Carl,” you mumbled in response with a slight nod of the head, letting out a huff and continuing to walk.

“Y/N, please… I really need someone to talk to right now,” Carl sighed, stepping out from the darkness of the bleachers and taking a few steps in your direction.

This immediately caused you to spin around on your heel and cross your arms over your chest.  “Weird, because I’ve needed someone to talk to for the past few months, but I guess we can’t always get what we want,” you snapped, your eyes shooting daggers into his before taking a look at your surroundings.  “Where’s Nick anyways?  I’m sure he’d love to hear whatever you need to talk about.”

The response you gave hit Carl harder than you had expected. He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a few steps back with his eyes on the ground.  He swallowed the lump in his throat before finally meeting your eyes again.  Despite your anger, the look in his eyes caused your heart to sink down to your stomach. Something terrible had happened.

“He’s gone, Y/N,” he whispered before his eyes shot back down to his hands, playing with his fingers.  “Prison again… for good this time.”

His words lacked the gangster lingo he had been using for the past few months.  His posture was no longer upright and exuding confidence.  His eyes were missing their usual playful glimmer.  His lips were not curved into his signature lopsided smirk. The only feature that remained of his recent swagger were the braids in his hair.

A sigh escaped your parted lips and you nodded and stepped toward the anxious boy, grabbing onto one of his shaking hands.  He followed as you guided him around the front of the bleachers and climbed up a few rows.

“Sit,” you instructed, pointing down to a section on the shaky wooden stands.  Once he obliged, you sat down on the row behind him, grabbing his shoulders and pulling his back into your knees.  Without a word, you slowly began to unravel his braids.

Carl did not resist.  Instead, he allowed his head to fall further into you and closed his eyes. It took a while, but eventually his body stopped shaking and his breathing became regular.  The silence lasted for about ten minutes before Carl finally took it upon himself to break it.

“He killed someone, Y/N.  A young boy.  With a hammer.  All because he took his bike,” he explained, his voice starting to shake again.  “All I keep imagining in my head is that bloody hammer and the boy’s mother screaming.  It won’t leave me.  It’s all it took for me to realize that I can’t keep living my life like this.  I just can’t.  How could you tell?” he questioned, his head leaning back further as his eyes met yours.

Your eyes immediately flickered back to his hair as you simply shrugged your shoulders in response.  Your mind was attempting to process everything he had just confessed to you.  The experience he had described would have been traumatizing to anyone, especially someone like Carl.  Carl wasn’t a thug, he was a scared child.  Still, you remained silent.

Carl let out a sigh and reached up, grabbing your hands out of his disheveled hair and gripping them tightly.  “Y/N, I’m really sorry, you know.  I really fucked up big time.  Me going to prison already had put our friendship on hold and me blowing you off once I was out must’ve really been the icing on the fucking cake.  I know you were probably really looking forward to picking things back up where we left off once I got out, and I really fucked that up and there’s nothing I regret more.  You were always the best friend I could ever ask for and I really don’t deserve you at this point, but I’m really sorry and I would do anything to make it up to you at this point.  I need you, okay?  I need you.”

The apology sounded sincere and the sad look in his eyes confirmed this to be true.  You knew he needed you, and you needed him just as much.  Carl had been a critical part of your life since before you could even remember.  If you left out the last year, all other associations with the boy had been positive. He was your partner in crime.  The one you turned to when you were having problems with your family, and when he was having issues with his.  The one you used to melt action figures in the microwave with as kids.  The one you goofed off with in class, and again in detention.  The one who you shared your first kiss with so he could “practice”.  The one who always stood up for you.  He was your best friend.

A small smirk formed on your lips as you pulled your hands away from his and began working at his hair again.  “You were right about two things.  You fucked up and you don’t deserve me,” you teased, combing through part of his hair with your fingers.

For the first time all night, his lips twitched upward into a grin and his glowing eyes met yours again.  “Now that sounds like my best friend again.”

You laughed quietly and rolled your eyes, successfully undoing one of the last braids.  “Yeah, we’ll have to wait and see about that whole best friend title for now,” you joked before your face became serious again.  “But seriously, Carl, I’m not sure what you expected to happen.  I was worried about you.  Sure, prison toughened you up a bit, but you’re still the same old Carl.  You’re still a kid.  We’re still kids.  Life around here is already tough enough.  The last thing you’d need is to end up in a bad situation with what you’ve been doing and get ki—“

“I know, Y/N.  I know,” he cut you off, closing his eyes again.  “I wasn’t thinking straight.  I don’t want to think about it anymore.  Can we talk about something else now?  Let’s talk about you.  How have you been?  I know it sounds selfish since my ego was through the roof and I wasn’t talking to you, but I’ve been thinking about you a whole lot.”

After pulling out his last braid, you began to slowly run your fingers through his soft hair, causing him to let out a content sigh.  “Me? You know, same old.  Dad’s gone again.  Been working at the restaurant a lot more lately.  Gotta love creepy guys grabbing your ass all day,” you said, rolling your eyes before giving his shoulder a squeeze and standing up.  “It’s all done.”

Carl shook out his hair before following you back down the bleachers, grabbing onto your hand and swinging your arms as you walked.  “Hmmph.  Well, they won’t be doing that under my watch anymore.”  He shot you a toothy smile and gave your hand a squeeze.  “I’ve really missed you, Y/N.”

The walk back to your neighborhood was pretty quiet, but it was comfortable.  All of your anger had subsided and you now felt relaxed.  You had your best friend back and were just happy to know that he was safe and out of the game before anything bad had happened to him.  Things would finally be able to go back to normal.

Although your houses were right next to each other, yours came first.  When you finally reached it, you smiled and turned to face your best friend. “Well, I guess this is goodnight then.”

“No.” Carl furrowed his brow before shaking his head and biting his lip.  “Sorry, I mean, do you have to go?  I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight and having you there with me would help.  You know, like old times.”

“Yes, Carl Gallagher, I’ll sleep with you,” you replied jokingly, squeezing his hand and pulling him towards the steps of his house and inside.

“Damn, I didn’t mean like that, but it could really help calm my nerves,” he teased back with a wink, leading you through the surprisingly quiet Gallagher house and to the couch.  “Totally kidding.  I’ll be right back.  Gonna change and grab something blankets… I’ll grab you something to change into, too.”

Soon enough, the two of you were laying face to face on the couch, Carl in his boxers and you in your underwear and one of his big t-shirts. Despite efforts, the anxious boy simply could not fall asleep.

With a sigh, you pulled the blankets down from over your heads and nudged his leg with yours.  “Come on.  If you can’t sleep, I’m going to at least try to get your mind off of what happened,” you proposed, propping yourself up on your elbow.  “Let’s talk about something else.  Let’s talk about us.  You know, all of the stupid shit we used to do.”

“Okay, okay.  I’ll start.”  Carl chuckled quietly and opened his eyes, allowing them to meet yours.  “Remember that time in fifth grade when we made that volcano together for science class?”

He didn’t have to say anything else for you to start laughing. “How could I forget?  It blew up in Mrs. Sullivan’s face.  Had to spend a week in detention, but it was totally worth it.”  You put your hand over your mouth to quiet the rest of your giggles.  “Okay, my turn.  Remember a few years ago when Joey Waters wouldn’t stop teasing me so you beat him up and he peed his pants?  Literally peed his pants.”

Carl let out a laugh, but his body tensed a bit.  “Yeah, of course I remember that.  I think I remember a little more about that than you do, though,” he murmured before rolling onto his back.  “I had heard that he was teasing you because he liked you and was planning on asking you to the school dance.  I would love to say he’s the only one I scared off, but that’d be lying.”

His comment made butterflies form in your stomach, but you knew you shouldn’t think too much into it.  He was just being the protective best friend he always had been. Nothing more.  “Now that’s something I didn’t know.  No wonder I never got a date to the dance,” you said with a laugh, playfully shoving his chest.  

Rolling back over onto his side, Carl flashed a shy smile. “My turn,” he mumbled, looking up in thought.  “Remember that time I got you to practice kissing with me before I went on my date with Rachel?  I even got you to make out with me,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Oh, of course I remember.”  You laughed to yourself, but you couldn’t stop a blush from forming on your cheeks.  The rest of your thoughts would have to remain to yourself.  Practicing kissing with Carl was far from a chore for you. You had long been hopelessly in love with your best friend, and as sad as it sounds, you knew that practicing was as close as you’d ever get to the real thing with him.  How could you not be in love with your best friend?  He had always been there to protect you and put a smile on your face, which was far more than anything anyone else had ever done for you.  Still, you kept this secret buried throughout the years.  A friendship with Carl was better than ruining your relationship altogether over feelings that were not mutual.

“I’m really feeling like I owe you tonight, so yet again I must admit that I probably remember more about that day than you do,” Carl uttered, putting his hands over his face.  “I never went on a date with Rachel.”

A quiet laugh fell from your lips and you raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?  Did she reject you?  Cancel?”

Even though the room was dim and Carl’s hands covered the majority of his face, it was undeniable that his cheeks were bright red.  “No.  I lied to you.  I never even asked her out,” he whispered, his eyes still refusing to meet yours.  “I just… I just needed to kiss you.  At least once.  And that was the only way I could do it.  I’m sorry…”

You could hardly believe your ears.  He had finally begun to admit to what you never thought could possibly be true.  It was all you needed to hear in order to build up the confidence to start confessing as well.

“I lied to you too, Carl,” you admitted, causing him to remove his hands from his face and roll back onto his side to face you.  “I remember telling you that day that helping you practice would be gross and burdensome.  That was a lie.  I’d been dying to kiss you forever and thought that would be my only chance to do it so I did.  And I lied again after that when I told you that I hoped your date would go well.” Flustered with all you had revealed, it was now your turn to cover your face with your hands.

Carl wasn’t having it.  He pulled your hands away from your face and entwined his fingers with yours, pressing his forehead against yours.  “Ah, so you had a crush on me?  How embarrassing,” he teased with a smirk on his lips, but his eyes glowed with awe and affection.

Your cheeks darkened even more, but you laughed and rolled your eyes.  “No, idiot. I was in love with you,” you mumbled, looking down at your hands that were engulfed by his own.

The smirk fell from Carl’s lips and a very serious look took over his face.  His eyes were dark as they roamed your face. “Was?” he whispered, his nose brushing against yours. “Yeah, sure, I was in love with you too. But I still am in love with you.”

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat and slowly moved to press your body even closer to his.  “And I’m still in love with you too.”

Moving his hand down to your hip, he pushed you onto your back and carefully climbed on top of you, making sure not to put too much of his weight on you.  His eyes roamed up and down your body in awe before his eyes met yours again.  “Kiss me.”

Without hesitation, you tangled your fingers into his soft locks and crashed your lips into his.  Your lips moved in perfect rhythm with his, both of you expressing years of locked up passion and emotion.  It wasn’t long before he had asked permission to take off your shirt, and did the same yet again before removing the underwear off of both of you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured into your skin, kissing up and down your neck before pulling back and looking into your eyes. “Are you sure about this?  I wouldn’t want to hurt you or make you do something you might regret.  If—“

“Shhh.” You let out a breathless giggle and put your finger over his lips, causing his eyes to widen.  “I’ve waited long enough for this.  Don’t make me wait any longer,” you mocked, pulling his lips back down to yours.

The night was filled with the passion you had desired from Carl for so long.  Of course, he stopped many times to make sure you were okay and to check that he wasn’t hurting you.  When he wasn’t stopping to check in on how you were doing, he was pausing to tell you how beautiful you were or to remind you how much he loved you.  It was all you needed to finally put your mind at peace and for Carl to fall into a deep sleep, his mind clear of everything that had occurred earlier.  You fell asleep underneath the blankets, your legs tangled with his and your head pressed against his chest.

The next morning, you awoke to someone nudging your arm. With a yawn, you opened your eyes, which immediately noticed the smirk on his lips.  “What?”

“Remember last night on the way here when you said you’d sleep with me and I joked it’d help to calm my nerves?” He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows at you. “It worked.”

You rolled your eyes and buried your face back into his chest, laughing softly. “How long have you been waiting for me to wake up to say that?”

Carl laughed and squeezed your hips.  “Oh, you know, about an hour.  I got impatient.”

Before you could comment back, you were interrupted by the sound of someone running down the stairs and approaching the couch you two were on.  “For fuck’s sake, it’s about time, you two.”  It was Lip.

It was about time.

Quick and Easy Vegan Snacks

Apples and Peanut butter

This is something people either seem to have known about forever, or they find the concept so weird that when you mention it they just look at you funny and back away slowly.

Slice up some apples, grab some peanut butter, and use the apple wedges to scoop up the peanut butter. There’s a bit of an art to manipulating the peanut butter, but it’s one worth mastering because omnomnomnomnom.


‘Baked’ Potatoes

Grab a potato, wash it if you need to. Stab a bunch of holes in the top or slice a cross halfway through it. Microwave on high for a few minutes then stab it with a knife to see if it’s soft inside, it’s different depending on the size of the potato and the power of the microwave. Once you know the rough time, you can just do that.

Toppings - vegan butter/marg, hummus, crushed garlic or garlic salt, cashew cream cheese, brewers/nutritional yeast, chopped fresh chives or spring onion, the list goes on


Couscous

Instant couscous like you can get in most supermarkets is super quick and easy to make. It tastes like pasta (because it’s made of the same stuff), and you can flavour it however you want.

Boil water, pour a cup of boiled water for every half cup of couscous, leave it for a couple of minutes, add a pinch of salt if you want, and fluff it up with a fork.

For flavourings (if you want them) you could just add a dab of vegan butter or margaraine, a teaspoon of mustard, or a splash of whatever stirfry, curry, or pasta sauce you have in the cupboard.


Noodles

Instant noodles are awesome. The instant noodle cups are rough on the environment, so I try to avoid the ones with the styrofoam cups at least, or use noodles you can cook on the stove or in the microwave instead.

Sometimes finding your preferred noodles that don’t use animal unfriendly oil can be a bit of a challenge, but they’re out there! And there’s a whole range of noodles to choose from that cook almost as quickly as the instant variety (my favourite are these awesome ones made from sweet potato starch that are so springy you could use them for slingshots if you weren’t busy nomming them because they’re AMAZING with peanut sauce).

The flavour options can vary too. I’ve come across a fair few ‘chicken’ noodle packets that were accidentally vegan. If you just got plain noodles, or you’re mixing it up a little, here’s some of the easy sauces I like to use.

Sweet chilli sauce - make sure you drain the noodles for this one

Soy sauce - combined with sweet chilli sauce it’s really frickin’ good. You can drain the noodles or keep the water, either’s good.

Veggie stock - one cube to a cup of noodles (with water)

Barbecue sauce - just a little bit sweetens the noodles up nicely. Drain the noodles.

Peanut butter and soy sauce - A tablespoon of peanut butter, a splash of soy sauce, heat in the microwave (to melt the peanut butter) or stir straight through hot drained noodles, nommy. Add a bit of chilli if you like it spicy.


Optional extras

Frozen mixed veggies will also cook in roughly the same time as the noodles so long as they’re small, if they’re bigger, just put them in a few minutes earlier and then add the noodles to the boiling water.

You might find you like nuts and seeds in noodles, I prefer them in noodle dishes with thicker, more complex sauces, but that’s a personal preference.

Small TVP chunks will cook in roughly the same time as the noodles, and they flavour easily.


Sandwich type constructions

The humble sandwich. Cultures all around the world have developed technology to wrap some kind of delicious bread type scaffolding around other types of deliciousness. Pita pockets, Tortillas, Bagels, Burgers, Subs, the list goes on.

Some easy things to stuff in your bread type scaffolding:

  • Fresh tomato slices, fresh Basil (optional), and hummus. It’s super simple and it’s delicious. Also great toasted.
  • Banana sandwiches. I don’t know if this is a New Zealand thing only or what, but seriously, dry bread, or margaraine, or whatever, and banana slices. That’s all. It’s divine.
  • Avocado and tomato. With a sprinkle of salt and a splash of lemon juice if you’ve got it. Also fabulous toasted.
  • Tabbouleh. If you can get it easily ready made from the supermarket, this goes great on any kind of bread related construct. Also goes fabulously with hummus.
  • Falafel. Microwave a few spoonfuls for a minute or two, add to bread, add tomato sauce, barbecue sauce, mustard, hummus, whatever. Devour.


Cracker type things

There’s all kinds of crunchy crispy nommy things out there - rice or corn cakes, rice crackers, water crackers, the list goes on.

Stuff to put on them or dip them in

  • Peanut butter - surprisingly nommy on corn/rice cakes
  • Hummus - unsurprisingly nommy on everything
  • Fresh tomato (awesome with fresh basil)
  • Avocado
  • Olives - There’s two kinds of people in this world. The ones who love olives, and the unlucky ones who don’t have the joy of olives in their lives.
  • Sliced banana - especially good on rice/corn cakes


Sticks, chips and dips

Stuff to dip with -

  • Carrot sticks
  • Celery sticks
  • Corn chips
  • Tortilla chips
  • Toasted pita bread
  • Mini spring rolls (raw or cooked)

Stuff to dip in -

  • Hummus - it comes in a million flavours
  • Pesto (just need to find a vegan one, or make your own :) )
  • Mustard
  • Salsa - home made or store bought
  • Sweet chilli sauce


Toast

Much like the humble sandwich, perhaps even pre dating it, we like to put stuff on bread, all kinds of bread.

  • Peanut butter - seriously. Just go buy some peanut butter and eat it
  • Bananas - yep, sliced bananas on toast is amazing.
  • Fresh tomato - Add salt, pepper (if you like it), and it’s divine
  • Avocado - mashed on toast with a fork, a pinch of salt, and some lemon juice, it’s divine.
  • Marmite - So about half the western world will know what I’m talking about. The rest will be dazed and confused. Google it. It’s awesome. Half of you will instantly hate it. Half of you will become helpless addicted to the magnificent mountain of b vitamins that is marmite. Also related to vegemite.
  • Baked beans - Heat em up, pile em on.


Pretzels

They’re cheap, they’re crunchy (cept for the giant soft ones, which are awesome in their own right), and they’re little edible bows. what more could you want? They’re usually vegan friendly, but it’s worth checking the bag just in case.


Vegetables

Yep. Grab some veggies, I quite like cauliflower and broccoli, put them in a covered microwave safe bowl and heat on high power for a couple of minutes. Then add whatever sauces you like (there’s a whole bunch listed here)

If you don’t have a microwave or don’t want to use one, just add about two cm (just under an inch) of water to a pot, add the veggies and cover. Bring to the boil on high heat, let it boil for a couple of minutes, then drain the water and the veggies should be cooked and nicely crisp.

Shiro and Keith would make grilled cheese by throwing a cheese sandwich into the microwave and heating it up for two minutes

anonymous asked:

HI! I saw you were writing itasaku fanfics and I was wondering if you could do a soulmate themed fic of them! THANK YOU <3

title Red Thread 
summary You just really get me.
pairing Itasaku

I.

Four drops of water raced down the window pane. He leaned against it, staring out at the street below. When he pulled away, his fingerprints had smeared onto the glass. Teeth clenching around his pen, he swiveled away. His chair squeaked. He stared at the numbers on his computer screen.

“Fucking shit. S’gonna rain,” Hidan grumbled from his desk. He turned away from the window too. 

“I’m going out for a smoke before it does,” Kakuzu said, already pulling his jacket off the back of his chair. He tugged his mask down, the elastic loops stretching from behind his ears. Hidan’s glare followed him all the way out.

“He’s had ‘allergies’ for like a month now. He ever think it’s because he smokes a pack a day?” Hidan muttered. 

“Good. Hope the both of you die,” declared Kisame, leaning back in his chair.

“Detective,” reprimanded Itachi without looking up.

“I’m not sorry, Itachi. Those two committed an unforgivable sin. I hope Jashin strikes them both with lightning,” Kisame huffed. He got out of his seat with his mug. 

“Dumbass. Jashin doesn’t do lightning. It’s more severing heads,” snickered Hidan. Kisame grabbed the warm carafe, shaking his head.

“Good. Even better. Hope he cuts off your head and then hits you with lightning,” amended Kisame.

“All we did was eat your ice cream. When are you going to let that go, man?” Hidan said under his breath.

“When you buy me more Chunky Monkey!” Kisame yelled back.

Keep reading

I covered Monster Clay, my new favorite clay, here. The one down side, is it comes in five pound blocks. That’s great if you’re working on a mask or such, but for my scale that’s far too large to want to deal with. On top of that, scrapping it up and warming it to use is hard on my hand.

To make my life easier, I’ve melted some if it down into easier to use blocks!

Read about it below the cut!

Keep reading

Come Find Me IV

Oh my God, you guys! I actually made it to 500 followers! Ahhhh! In celebration, I got out the next chapter of Come Find Me, I hope you like all. Also @otpislife2002 you asked me to tag you, so there you go. Anyway, things get a bit better this chapter, but it’s not over yet. Again, you all are amazing, I almost cried when I saw the follower count

Morality was making pancakes.

That was the first thing Roman noticed as he walked into the kitchen, still rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, peering over Morality’s shoulder. “Is there some special occasion I was unaware of?”

“Good morning, Roman,” Morality replied. “And no, I just felt like making pancakes.”

“Well I certainly appreciate it” Roman told him, clapping a hand on the other side’s shoulder. “Pancakes are a wonderful way to begin the morning. Ah, do you need any help?”

“No!” Morality almost shouted before composing himself. “I mean, that’s very kind of you to offer, son, but I think I’m doing just fine.”

Roman was a little offended. He could help make pancakes. Yes, he may have melted a bowl once making microwave popcorn, but that was ages ago. He had improved since then, probably.

“Oh, well actually there is one thing you could do.” Morality then spoke up, turning to look at him.

“Anything,” Roman declared, looking at the fatherly side expectantly.

“Do you think you could go and get the others? I just thought it would be nice to have family breakfast this morning,” Morality explained.

Roman blinked. “Certainly,” he said, “Although it may be difficult to get Anxiety up. You know he’s not much of a morning person.”

“Yeah, I know,” Morality admitted, “But I just still feel a little guilty he wasn’t with us last night. And besides, pancakes just might tempt him out. After all, who doesn’t love pancakes?”

“You make an excellent point” Roman replied, ignoring the twinge of guilt that went through him when Morality mentioned the movie night. “I will go and fetch the two of them and return anon.”

With those words, he strode out of the kitchen. He headed towards Logic’s door first. While the scholarly side wasn’t an overly cheerful morning person like Morality, he was certainly going to be easier to rouse than Anxiety.

And indeed, it only took a few knocks on the door before it opened, revealing Logic dressed in a onsie, hair a little more messy than normal.

“Yes?” Logic asked, adjusting his slightly crooked glasses.

“Morality has made pancakes, and hopes that we will all join him for breakfast” Roman explained. “He sent me to fetch you, and I will be going on to drag Anxiety out of his lair momentarily.”

“Oh, that sounds satisfactory.” Logic said, “I will be down momentarily, I just need to dress first. And good luck with Anxiety.”

Roman grimaced a little, “Thanks.”

With that he made his way down to the end of the hall where the darker side slept. He rapped hard on the door, and listened for a response. There was none. He tried knocking harder, but still nothing.

“Anxiety,” he called out, frustration filling his voice. “I know you’re in there. Morality made pancakes, and he wants us all to come down and eat them.”

Still nothing.

He tried again. “If you don’t come out, I will find a way in,” he threatened. 

He really would. He’d learned to pick locks a while back. A surprising number of actors managed to get themselves locked in closets, bathrooms, storages sheds, etc. and breaking down the door wasn’t always feasible.

He listened for a moment longer, but he couldn’t even hear any sounds of shuffling that might indicate Anxiety moving towards the door. Rolling his eyes, he knelt beside the door, pulling a few bobby pins from his jacket pocket.

It took a good few minutes of fiddling, and some muffled cursing that Dad would have frowned at him for, but soon the lock clicked open. Roman stood up, dusted himself off, and opened the door.

It was dark. That was the first thing he noticed as he stepped inside. All the lights were off, and the curtains had been pulled shut. Determined to get the other up, he felt around for the light switch, flicking it on when he had found it.

The light filling the room allowed Prince to see the rather large lump lying in the center of the bed. He strode towards it, and began shaking Anxiety.

“You really do have to get up,” he informed him. “If you don’t, Morality will be pouting for the rest of the day, and I, for one, refuse to suffer through that.”

The shaking didn’t seem to be working that well, so Prince felt around for the edges of the blankets and pealed them back. Anxiety groaned as the light hit him, flinching back into the pillow.

“Prince, what?” he croaked, his eyes barely open, only mere slits

Roman frowned down at him, the other side looked horrible. Anxiety was normally pale, but right now he looked practically translucent, and the dark, dark bags under his eyes only made him look worse.

“Morality made pancakes,” he said cautiously. ‘He wants you to come down and eat them.”

“Pancakes,” Anxiety mumbled, “I, yeah, sure. I’ll- I’ll be down in a bit, just give me a minute.”

Roman’s eyes narrowed. Normally him coming in with such request would have resulted in some groaning, a few eye rolls, perhaps a few snarky comments, but Anxiety just sounded exhausted.

“Are you alright?“ he asked, although he was fairly certain he knew the answer to that already.

“Yeah, ‘mm fine” Anxiety said as he pushed himself up, one hand going to his head. “Like I said just give me a minute, you can head down without me.”

Roman just shot him an incredulous look. Like he would believe that. “I’ll just stay here, thanks, and walk down with you,” he replied. “I have to make sure you don’t fall back to sleep.

Anxiety stared up at him, still looking rather out of it. “God, fine,” he said, “whatever.”

He then swung his legs to the side of the bed, and slid to his feet. Or rather, attempted to. As soon as he pushed off the bed, he swayed dangerously, his knees giving out.

Roman caught him before he could hit the floor, now thoroughly alarmed. “What’s going on?” he demanded. “What’s wrong with you? Should I get Morality.”

“No, don’t, please, don’t get Morality,” Anxeity replied, still limp in Roman’s grasp. “He’ll just freak out and worry. I’m fine, just a little dizzy, that’s all.”

“Just a little dizzy, huh?” Roman said flatly. “I take it that’s why you can’t even stand. I’m not an idiot, Anxiety. I can tell something’s wrong”

“Please talk a little quieter,” Anxiety begged, his eyes squeezed shut. “You’re killing me. And I’ll be fine once I eat. So, please don’t tell Morality.”

Roman pursed his lips. He didn’t like this. “If,” he began, “and that’s a big if, if I go and get you food without alerting Morality, will you agree to explain exactly what happened to put you in this state?”

“Why would you even care to know?” Anxiety muttered.

“Anxiety.” Roman’s tone was serious and full of warning.

After a pause, Anxiety spoke up again. “Yeah, I’ll tell you,” he said sounding exhausted and defeated.

“Then we have an accord,” Roman said. With that, he scooped one arm up under Anxiety’s legs and set him down on the bed. He stepped back to study the other side. The more he looked at him, the worse Anxiety appeared. He was obviously in pain, with the way he flinched every time his head moved, and Roman could see tremors going through him.

“I’ll be back soon with food.” he said quietly. Well hopefully soon, it might take some time to make excuses to Morality. His best bet was convincing the other side that Anxiety had point blank refused to leave the bed, but that Roman would drop off his pancakes.

“Try to stay awake,” he added as an afterthought as he moved towards the door. He only got a vague grunt as a response.

Shutting the door behind him, Prince strode into the hallway, his thoughts dark. He wasn’t sure what had put Anxiety in such a wretched condition, but he doubted it was good. His complete reluctance to tell the others was also concerning.

Roman sighed. Speculating would get him nowhere. He’d find out soon enough.

Back in the room, Anxiety stared up at the ceiling. Well, one of them had come for him, kind of. From the sounds of it, it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed him missing, and that the only reason he’d been found at all was because Morality had been trying to be inclusive again.

He put a hand over his face, trying to ease the throbbing pain in his head a little. He couldn’t believe he had almost passed out in Prince’s arms. That was mortifying. And now he had to explain the situation. He had to think of some kind of excuse, but his head felt too fuzzy to think.

Maybe Prince would be satisfied with the simple excuse of getting absorbed in a show and forgetting to eat. It wasn’t like he really cared that much anyway. None of them did. This week had proven that.

Despite Prince’s last words, Anxiety felt himself slipping back into sleep. He couldn’t fight it, he was just far too tired, of everything.

Part I Part II Part III Part V Part VI Part VII

Recipe: Earl Grey Cake w/Chocolate Lavender Buttercream

Because what’s better than sipping Earl Grey tea in your jammies while toppling regimes? Eating tea flavored cake for breakfast with your cuppa while toppling regimes. 

The recipes I’ve posted so far are familiar enough, but this one was new for me. I’ll include my reactions at the end. Image heavy as usual. (I’m sorry.) 

Tagging for @alexandre00q re:Slack chat (I hope that’s right – I was a little turnt in the kitchen last night)

Keep reading

Sweeter Than Caramel

tada! a commissioned Gabriel fluff for the lovely @the-moose-of-baskerville <3 hope you enjoy!

Summary: making caramel apples for Halloween with your fav archangel!

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: a fucking fluff overload!!!

A/N: this is my first time writing Gabriel, so pls be kind!!

Originally posted by lucifersagents

“Hey, Sugar.”

You squealed in surprise at the sound of your boyfriend Gabriel’s voice from behind you, his hands squeezing your waist and tickling you.

Keep reading

oh god. just had the weirdest flashback. in 2010 one guy was hitting on me, we were having coffee and he was telling me the story about how he had a dead pigeons in his freezer prepared for dissecting because he was a scientist or something and he was bored to wait for ice to melt so he put a dead pigeon in a microwave and turned out it was a very very bad idea and that time i just widened my eyes and was like wtf gross but now I realize that’s possibly what John had to deal with on everyday basis omfg

anonymous asked:

do trimberly for the ship meme please

which one sexts like a straight white boy?

kim, def but in her defense, she’s just real meme savvy and always texts trini w thngs lyk “what are you wearing rn (((;” or “my face died, can i bury it between yr legs??” n iss rlly cringey but trini still goes along w it bc iss p funny 

which one cried during a fucking disney movie?

trini, she’s very sensitive and she dsn’t rlly lyk to shw it but whn she’s arnd kim it jus melts rlly, and they were watchng inside out and th take her to th moon line happned and okay she’s jus chilling, w her tears out and kim thnks trini’s lyk crying ovr smthn else and she’s lyk shittshit but they jus chill n kim cuddles her for a little 

who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?

trini, because sh jus dnt pay attention cos she’s prbly dissociated tm mosta the time :////// nd whn thts not th case,, kim’s beauty distracts her and she goofs up 

who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “guess who” thing?

kim prbly has Tried it but it alwys startles trini so sh stops :/// 

who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?

trini definitely,, she always does it whthr on accident or not bc kim alwys sleeps almost butt ass nkd and trini is a grade a clingr and she cnt really avoid it sometimes,, but othrtimes iss a subliminal way of saying trn on th gotdam heatr 

who had that embarassing reality tv marathon?

both prbly, trini prbly lyk hyperfixates on shows a lot and lets face it rhonyc are p gotdam entertaining, n kim does jus bc iss so much more fun to be in on drama whn iss badly acted and not real 

who laughs more during sex?

kim bc trini prbly gets rllllyyy flustrd and blushes real hard and who couldn’t find it adorable whn trini’s voice is squeaky and she looks lyk a tomato whn she’s tryna tell kim to move it along n stop teasing???

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

trini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whn she’s the lttle spoon she feels safe and protectd n w th added bonus tht iss kim, she jus cnt help it she lovs it 

When it comes to rules and guidelines, my rule of thumb is usually “if someone tells you not to do something, it’s cause someone’s tried it before”.

So imagine my surprise (and slight confusion) when looking up tips for washing/drying minky fabric, and seeing one of the tips saying “Minky melts, so don’t warm it in the microwave”.

I mean…it’s good advice and all….but still….

Originally posted by glory-in-fire

blink

instant is a forecast promising no umbrellas, but clouds are known
for never holding, anything back,
so your socks get soaked in a word
with an empty meaning

Instant coffee means waiting on water
brought to a boil,
means two tablespoons,
one for sugar, one for powder,
then the stir,
minutes pass from one instance
to the next

instant rice calls five minutes microwave
time, the butter must melt
the rice must cool
so you don’t burn your empty stomach

both instances
are puddles
on
paper sunshine smiles

they say we can be gone
in an instant
yet it takes us years
to get there

they say back in a flash
back in a jiffy
be right back
but even if the second point
is the beginning and the end
there is still distance
connecting the two,
there’s still space
between seconds
no matter how small

I am tiny
I am fucking insignificant
I am begging for purpose
I am begging for my next breath
to mean something other
than a sigh of continuence,

you are tall, so fucking tall
I want to sit on your shoulders
stretch me out on the ground
make me ten feet high
place me on your shoulders
so I can give eskimo kisses
to the smiling sun and cool down
the way august burns the bottom
of children’s feet during the last week
before pools close and books open

I am a man trying to figure out
what the fuck being a man means
in 2017 tell me I’m not a job title
tell me I’m not a car brand
tell me it’s okay to fucking cry
in public places because I wake up
every day with a forecast calling
for sunshine and I need the umbrella
I forgot by my empty coffee cup
tell me I’m not a paycheck
because I bleed overdraft receipts
&
the bank tries to repossess what’s left
of my soul, I can no longer find what I’m losing, I can no longer hide what isn’t found

when you look at me, see me,
when you look at me, wink,
do anything but blink
twice because nothing is ever gone
in an instant, but every beginning and ending is a distance between two points
&
even seconds have spaces between them

I’m so tiny
I’m so insignificant
I feel like I will be lost
somewhere between boiling water
&
liquid powder

so whatever you do
please
don’t
blink
twice

Recipe: Pink Cake

Description: There’s little heart candies on top.

Game ingredients: Melon, Wheat Flour, Egg, Sugar

This recipe restores 250 energy and 100 health. It can be obtained from the Cooking Channel and sells for 480g.

Difficulty: Medium, 2 hours. Serves 6.

I was initially thinking about those “melon cakes” that people make that are basically just watermelons cut to look like a cake and then frosted, but I figured that wouldn’t be as interesting. I also noticed the image has a dent in the centre of the cake, implying it’s a bundt cake. 

Cake batter:

-¾ cup butter
-1½ cup white sugar
-3 eggs
-1 tsp vanilla
-1 cup watermelon juice
-2½ cups all-purpose flour
-1 tsp baking powder
-1 tsp baking soda
-1 tsp salt

Frosting:

-¾ cup butter
-3 cups icing sugar (also known as confectioner’s or powdered sugar)
-1 tsp vanilla
-3 tbsp heavy cream or milk
-1 drop of red food colouring

Heart Candies:

-1 oz. white chocolate (about 30 grams)
-2 drops of red food colouring

Start off by removing the rind from the watermelon and pureeing it in a blender or chopping it in a bowl with a pastry blender. I used about a quarter of a small watermelon. Strain the liquid into a measuring cup to remove any seeds or chunks. It should look pretty bright red.

Preheat the oven to 400°F. In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until it’s fluffy, and then add in the eggs and vanilla. Beat until creamy, and then pour in the watermelon juice and stir. It’ll look kinda liquidy and won’t exactly be pretty. 

In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add all at once to the wet ingredients and stir until smooth. The yellow of the eggs mixed with the red watermelon juice will result in a peachy colour. 

Grease a bundt cake pan and dust it with flour. Pour the batter evenly into the pan and place it in the oven for 45 minutes or til done. 

While it’s baking, prepare the frosting and the heart candies. For the frosting, cream the butter until smooth and light, and then add the icing sugar, one cup at a time. Add the vanilla and heavy cream, whipping it in until it’s soft and fluffy. The image shows the cake as having a delicate pink colour for the frosting, so only put in 1 drop of red food colouring.

Set the frosting aside and prepare the heart candies. In a bowl, microwave the white chocolate, stopping every ten seconds to break up and stir the chocolate pieces until it’s smooth and has no lumps. Add in two drops of red food colouring. 

Transfer the melted chocolate into a piping bag with a small tip (I used a #2 tip). On a freezer-safe surface like a small cookie sheet, spread out a piece of parchment paper and pipe on heart-shapes. I used more chocolate and made some in various sizes, mostly just for eating the big ones. 

Place in the freezer for at least 30 minutes. They’ll come off the parchment very easily when they’re done.

Once the cake is done baking, let it cool for 15 minutes before removing from the bundt pan, and then place it in the fridge on a plate for an additional 20-30 minutes. This will cool the cake and prevent the frosting from melting off of it when applied. Slather on the frosting, covering all sides, and decorate the top with the heart candies.

To be entirely honest, it doesn’t taste very watermelon-y, but given that watermelons are 98% water, I wasn’t really expecting it to. Nonetheless, it’s a very good cake. 

-SVR

Haven’t seen a post like this in a while and thought I’d do one! This is just a list of all the things I find pleasing to all the senses. Feel free to reblog and add your own.

Pastel colors

Sunsets

Gel pen

Sunrises

Colors of the sky

Baby clothes

A school supplies section of a store

A laundromat after dark

Christmas lights

Halloween decorations

Fall decorations

Babies and baby animals

A loved ones smile

A bubble bath

A bath bomb melting into the water

Fireplaces

Valentine’s decorations

Gamestop

A mall at night time

Inside a car after dark

Airplanes at night

A partly cloudy night with a quarter moon

Stars on a completely clear night

A baby’s laugh

A microwave humming

“I love you”

A compliment

Classical music

“You did a good job”

“I’m proud of you”

A car starting

A toddler babble

Notification sounds

Your favorite song

ASMR

Fireplace crackle

Buzzing light

 A person humming a note or song

A loved ones voice

Synthesized songs

Lavender

Cinnamon

A perfume from a guardian/other loved one

Candles

Ocean breeze

 A loved ones scent

Breakfast

Breakfast Diners

Gingerbread

Freshly clean clothes

Babies

Baby soap

Dinner being cooked

A classroom

A new house

A loved ones hair

A new car

Cologne

A clean house

Freshly cut grass

Bakeries

Bread

Fruit

Cinnamon

Breakfast

Ocean air

Melted cheese

Kissing

Bread

Gum

Cough drops

Toothpaste

Your favorite food

Chocolate strawberries

Salty foods

Soft blankets

Soft skin

Hugs

New pillows

A guitar

A new book

Stuffed animals

Soft sand

Water

Paint

Long hair

Jackets

Clay

+ many more