i mean this is not really rps but yeah just to be sure

° • ? ( QUESTION SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ What are you doing? ❜
❛ Where are you going? ❜
❛ Where are you taking me? ❜
❛ How is that working out for you? ❜
❛ Is everything okay? ❜
❛ Why are you acting like this? ❜
❛ You think I would lie to you? ❜
❛ Are you telling the truth? ❜
❛ Are you sure you want to do this? ❜
❛ This is your bright idea of a plan? ❜
❛ What else do you want me to do? ❜
❛ What else can I do? ❜
❛ What do you think I should do? ❜
❛ What makes you think that? ❜
❛ Who told you that? ❜
❛ Who are you? ❜
❛ Why are you here? ❜
❛ Who invited you? ❜
❛ How come you ever asked me? ❜
❛ Did you really mean all those things you said? ❜
❛ Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? ❜
❛ Why is it so hard for you to see that? ❜
❛ Why don’t you understand? ❜
❛ What don’t you understand? ❜
❛ Are you joking? ❜
❛ Did I miss anything? ❜
❛ You don’t remember? ❜
❛ Did you really say all that stuff about me? ❜
❛ Did you think I would forget? ❜
❛ How can you sit there and say that? ❜
❛ How do you even sleep at night? ❜
❛ Are you coming or not? ❜
❛ Am I the only one freaked out right now? ❜
❛ Are you laughing or crying? ❜
❛ Who did this to you? ❜
❛ Did someone hurt you? ❜
❛ Is it just me or are you, like, ignoring me? ❜
❛ You want me to apologize for something you did? ❜
❛ Are you going to kiss me or not? ❜
❛ Aren’t you the one who said it though? ❜
❛ So, you don’t like me like that? ❜
❛ Where do we go from here? ❜
❛ Are you being serious right now? ❜
❛ How was I supposed to know that? ❜
❛ Oh, is that a challenge? ❜
❛ Are you flirting with me? ❜
❛ Are you going to let me go now? ❜
❛ Are we done now? ❜
❛ Why didn’t just ask me? ❜
❛ You’re going to believe them over me? ❜
❛ How can possibly think that? ❜
❛ Did you even miss me? ❜
❛ Did anyone even notice that I was gone? ❜
❛ Why do you go around and kiss everyone? ❜
❛ Did you kill them? ❜
❛ Who’s blood is that? Is that your blood? ❜
❛ Do you think this is a game? ❜
❛ Are you having doubts? ❜
❛ Why haven’t you been at school/work? ❜
❛ Is there something going on that you need to tell me? ❜
❛ You said you wanted to talk? ❜
❛ What am I supposed to do? ❜
❛ What did you expect to happen? ❜
❛ How long you think you can keep this act up? ❜
❛ You don’t like me? Do you? Like in a more than a friend way? ❜
❛ Is that what everyone is saying now? ❜
❛ Who do I remind you of? ❜
❛ Are you hungry? Want to go get something to et? ❜
❛ Are you drunk? ❜
❛ Are you lost? ❜
❛ What’s so great about any of that anyway? ❜
❛ Are you even listening to yourself? ❜
❛ What are you going to do about it, huh? ❜
❛ What are you staring at? ❜
❛ What are you doing out here? ❜
❛ Why did you call the police? ❜
❛ Wait, do you hear that? ❜
❛ Why don’t you tell me anything? ❜
❛ Hey, did you get me anything? ❜
❛ Why didn’t you come over last night? ❜
❛ What did you find out? ❜
❛ Can I stay here for the night? ❜
❛ Are you throwing rocks at my window? ❜
❛ Are you crying? ❜
❛ What are you laughing at me? ❜
❛ Are you laughing at me? ❜
❛ Do you not understand the word no? ❜
❛ Is that it? Is that all? ❜
❛ Are you in some kind of trouble? ❜
❛ Yeah, but, you have me. So why bother? ❜
❛ What’s love got to do with it? ❜
❛ This is where we kiss, right? ❜
❛ Do you ever not just only think about yourself? ❜
❛ Are going to leave me again? ❜
❛ What’s wrong with that? ❜
❛ Do you have anything you need to say to me? ❜
❛ I think I’m going to puke. Is there a trash can in here? ❜
❛ You really don’t know why I’m mad at you? ❜
❛ Why do you treat me like I’m not important to you? ❜
❛ Why are you telling me this?
❛ Are you ready? ❜
❛ What’s with all the questions? ❜
❛ I thought this is what you wanted? ❜
❛ Where do you think you’re going with this? ❜
❛ You’re just going to leave? ❜
❛ Do you trust me? ❜
❛ You love me? Or you think you love me? ❜
❛ When will it ever stop? ❜
❛ Do you think it’ll ever go away? ❜
❛ What are you doing this weekend? ❜
❛ You called for back up? ❜
❛ What did I just witness? ❜
❛ How do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else? ❜
❛ Have you ever thought it? ❜
❛ Are you wearing a wire? ❜
❛ Is there something wrong? ❜
❛ Is it something I said or something I did? ❜
❛ What’s wrong? I thought that it was okay? ❜
❛ Are you going to hold that against me forever? ❜
❛ So, tell me, what else is new? ❜
❛ You never actually cared, did you? ❜
❛ You went to a party without me? ❜
❛ Why wasn’t I invited? ❜
❛ Do you think that’s a little fucked up? ❜
❛ Oh, so you do speak? ❜
❛ Do you think it’s really worth it in the end? ❜
❛ How many more times do I have to tell you? ❜
❛ You didn’t think that it would bother me? ❜
A Softer Love
  • “There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”
  • “I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”
  • “Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”
  • “I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”
  • “I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”
  • “I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”
  • “You are the love of my life so far.”
  • “Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”
  • “I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”
  • “Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”
  • “I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”
  • “Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”
  • “Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”
  • “I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”
  • “If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”
  • “Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”
  • “Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”
  • “I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”
  • “I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”
  • “I love the way your face lights up when someone says, "It might be dangerous.”“
  • "All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”
  • “Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”
  • “I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”
  • “When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”
  • “You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”
  • “Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”
  • “Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”
  • “Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”
  • “I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”
  • “It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”
  • “Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”
  • “If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”
  • “There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”
  • “I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”
  • “I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”
  • “I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”
  • “I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”
  • “Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”
  • “At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”
  • “You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
  • “You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”
  • “When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”
  • “I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, "Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“
  • "I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”
  • “She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore." 
★*゚‘゚・The Mummy (1999)

❝ What are you doing here? ❞
❝ You must go. Save yourself. Only you can resurrect me. ❞
❝ By eating the sacred scarabs, I would be cursed to stay alive forever. And by eating me, they were cursed just the same. ❞
❝ I knew this was gonna be a lousy day. ❞
❝ Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender? ❞
❝ Then let’s run away. Right now. While we can still make it. ❞
❝ Now gimme your revolver, you’ll never use it anyway. ❞
❝ Let’s play dead, huh? Nobody ever does that anymore. ❞
❝ What are ya doing?! Wait up! ❞
❝ I’m gonna get you for this! ❞
❝ I’m sorry, it was an accident. ❞
❝ Have you no respect for the dead? ❞
❝ Where did you get this? ❞
❝ Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich? ❞
❝ As the Americans would say: it’s all fairy tales and hokum. ❞
❝ I’m sure it was a fake, anyway. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ I lie to everybody, what makes you so special? ❞
❝ And what is he in prison for? ❞
❝ He said… he was just looking for a good time. ❞
❝ What did you find? What did you see? ❞
❝ Get me the hell outta here. ❞
❝ I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life. ❞
❝ Yeah, I’d like ya to let me go. ❞
❝ Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her. ❞
❝ For all the money we’re paying you, something better god-damned well be under that sand. ❞
❝ Do you really think he’ll show up? ❞
❝ Personally, I think he’s filthy, rude and a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit. ❞
❝ I have come to protect my investment, thank you very much. ❞
❝ I only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞
❝ What makes you so confident, sir? ❞
❝ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. ❞
❝ Still angry that I kissed ya, huh? ❞
❝ The last time I was at that place everybody I was with died.  ❞
❝ By the way,… why did you kiss me? ❞
❝ You always did have more balls than brains. ❞
❝ Can you swim? ❞
❝ Americans. ❞
❝ I can’t believe the price of these fleabags. ❞
❝ All night you snored!  ❞
❝ What in bloody hell is this? ❞
❝ Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn’t we be going? ❞
❝ You boys owe me five hundred dollars. ❞
❝ Where’d all these camels come from? ❞
❝ That thing gives me the creeps. ❞
❝ What are those mirrors for? ❞
❝ Who cares? I don’t see no treasure. ❞
❝ You’re welcome to my share of the spider webs. ❞
❝ Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies. ❞
❝ Ya scared the bejeezus out of us. ❞
❝ I’ve had worse. ❞
❝ Let’s be nice, children, if we’re going to play together, we must learn to share. ❞
❝And when those dirty Yanks go to sleep – No offence. ❞
❝ We’ll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them. ❞
❝ What do you suppose killed him? ❞
❝ I believe if I can see it and I  can touch it, then it’s real. That’s what I believe. ❞
❝ Why do you like to fight so much? ❞
❝ LEAVE THIS PLACE!… LEAVE THIS PLACE DIE! ❞
❝ For them to protect it like this, you just know there’s got to be treasure down there. ❞
❝ …I am a librarian! ❞
❝ I can’t believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk. ❞
❝ You dream about dead guys? ❞
❝ Stupid superstitious bastard. ❞
❝ Oh my god, he was buried alive. ❞
❝ What are you going to do? Shoot him? ❞
❝ Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers! ❞
❝ That’s one of the plagues, right? The grasshopper plague! ❞
❝ Oh thank goodness, you’re one of the Americans, aren’t you? ❞
❝ RUN, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES! RUUUUN! ❞
❝ Help me,… please,… help me. ❞
❝ No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world. ❞
❝ You left me! You left me in the desert to rot. ❞
❝ Sweet Jesus! That tasted just like,…like… ❞
❝ You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal. ❞
❝ There’s only one person I know who can possibly give us some answers. ❞
❝ And you think this justifies killing innocent people!? ❞
❝ Okay, let’s cut to the chase. He’s afraid of cats, what’s that about? ❞
❝ The hell with that! I’m not goin’ nowhere! We’re safe here. ❞
❝ What friend? You’re my only friend. ❞
❝ What are you looking for? Lie, and I’ll slit your throat. ❞
❝ Something about bringing his dead girly-friend back to life. He needs the book… ❞
❝ Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap. ❞
❝ The hell with this. I’m goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin’? ❞
❝ Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser. ❞
❝ Jealous? You kiddin’ me? Did you see that guy’s face? ❞
❝ Is it dangerous? ❞
❝ Save the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure. ❞
❝ You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance. ❞
❝ From now on, don’t touch anything. Not a damn thing. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it? ❞
❝ He wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys… ❞
❝ I never killed a priest before. ❞
❝ Kill them! Kill them all! And bring me the Book Of The Living! ❞
❝ This just keeps gettin, better and better. ❞
❝ Death is only the beginning. ❞
❝ Well,… I guess we go home empty handed. ❞

  —  —  —  BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  strap in ‘cause this one is rough.  ’
‘  it’s– it’s yucky.  ’
‘  i’m aware of some details of this and it’s– it’s yucky.  ’
‘  i’m not a gambling man, but i don’t really like those odds.  ’
‘  we could conceivably run into this guy taking a dump in the woods or something.  ’
‘  are you fucking out of your mind?  ’
‘  i’m starting to think you want to die.  ’
‘  you turned a corner on that one pretty quick.  ’
‘  oh my god, it’s fucking horrifying.  ’
‘  there’s an elk, though. there’s a deer over there.  ’
‘  here’s the remains and rubble of one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of all time and you’re looking at the fucking deer in the forrest.  ’
‘  maybe they were in there telling ghost stories.  ’
‘  that’s not what pillow talk is, i don’t think.  ’
‘  pillow talk could either mean something you do after sex or it could mean what’s like sleepover talk.  ’
‘  do you tell ghost stories after sex?  ’
‘  all very effective for– for murder.  ’
‘  they stabbed him so hard that the knife bent.  ’
‘  you would think that there’d be at least one witness.  ’
‘  you see someone running through the forrest covered in blood, you’re probably not gonna bat an eye.  ’
‘  that’s not how the forrest works.  ’
‘  excuse me, sir. why are you covered in blood?  ’
‘  i’m glad to know that you would be the worst crime scene witness of all time.  ’
‘  oh, you were phrasing it in a dramatic way.  ’
‘  what is it about killers– that they want to be caught so badly… or like they want to get as close to being caught without being caught?  ’
‘  i can’t put my mind into the mind of a criminal.  ’
‘  i can put my mind into the mind of a criminal.  ’
‘  some of them must be friends, others would like to plunge knives into each other.  ’
‘  i can imagine one friend of yours murdering you.  ’
‘  i’m pretty sure there was a coverup by the police department.  ’
‘  70′s and 80′s police were always just like, ‘oh, you murdered someone? you got forty bucks?’  ’
‘  great! what else do you want?! i murdered people for you! and now… what?  ’
‘  oh, so i’m the psycho cause i murdered for you!?  ’
‘  what, the police were just writing fan fiction?  ’
‘  this is just baffling to me.  ’
‘  i guess that’s their job, but can you imagine how much goddamn paperwork is involved in that? so much!  ’
‘  i’m pretty sure we’re being watched, so i kind of wanna leave, to be honest.  ’
‘  i’ve had enough of this place and i haven’t even been here that long. i hate this place.  ’
‘  this boogeyman is very thorough.  ’
‘  i guess we’re lucky he got lazy.  ’
‘  the greatest safety precautions of our time are written in blood.  ’
‘  i think they’re tired of this ongoing saga that never ends.  ’
‘  you know, i actually disagree with that last sentiment.  ’
‘  this is like straight-up end of days shit going on.  ’
‘  this could’ve been the beginning of the zombie apocalypse, in my mind.  ’
‘  i’ve daydreamed about having an amazing bunker that has satellite tv.   ’
‘  ‘bad advil’ sounds like a shitty indie band.  ’
‘  the wild west was the 80′s.  ’
‘  in the 80′s you could walk in a store, pocket a soda, punch a guy in the face, and then be like ‘see ya later. fuck you!’ cops wouldn’t get to your door for weeks.  ’
‘  he had books that were just titled ‘how to crime’? if he had a book called ‘how to crime’ then there’s your guy.  ’
‘  oh, yeah… nah, i’m good. eh, bit of a reach.  ’
‘  some old lady in florida bought the unabomber’s typewriter?  ’
‘  maybe this guy was really in the dog house and was just desperate for any kind of turn of affection from her so he thought, ‘i know that i’ll do! i’ll write the fbi!’  ’
‘  no, i didn’t– what, is there anything to suggest that i would chase my mom with an axe?  ’
‘  i think you wear a mask sometimes.  ’
‘  maybe you should keep digging and see what happens.  ’
‘  these are two messed up weirdos who have found each other and it’s almost a shockingly beautiful love story.  ’
‘  i don’t get it. i just wanna talk about my work and everyone just keeps seeming to bring up all my past of all the shitty stuff i’ve done.  ’
‘  ugh, this guy’s gross.  ’
‘  it must’ve been fun to be a criminal in the 80′s.  ’
‘  everything before the 80′s – just lawless.  ’
‘  get your sunglasses ready because this one is packed full of bright stars.  ’
‘  i’m good to go. i’m always ready, baby!  ’
‘  it came true so she was actually warranted in all these fears.  ’
‘  this would be like if you were eaten by a shark.  ’
‘  i thought for a second we were talking about things that are actually scary.  ’
‘  i’m gonna let this slide because i know you’re just trying to get a rise out of me.  ’
‘  does that man have a magical penis or something?  ’
‘  you think the only reason someone would go back to someone is because they have a magical penis?  ’
‘  i feel like divorce is probably a lot of work.  ’
‘  do you not know how love works?  ’
‘  maybe i don’t know how love works.  ’
‘  i have a hard time imagining someone going gaga over christopher walken.  ’
‘  i bet when you get in a room with christopher walken, he commands the space.  ’
‘  i brought some cocktail weenies.  ’
‘  one of my greatest fears is that someone will trick me into doing heroin.  ’
‘  that’s the dumbest fear i’ve ever heard in my life.  ’
‘  how many situations can you be in that would put you up to that potential danger?  ’
‘  how many parties are you going to where heroin’s involved? it seems like a lot.  ’
‘  it’s the fear that someone would come up to me on the street and put heroin in me and then i’m hooked forever.  ’
‘  here’s what must’ve happened… these forty things, in succession.  ’
‘  what are you trying to do, fuck my wife?  ’
‘  why would he make this up?  ’
‘  he– he was just trying to fuck someones wife.  ’
‘  i can’t imagine murdering someone even when drunk.  ’
‘  when you drink you can imagine murdering someone?!  ’
‘  i ate a pumpkin once when i was drunk… i just took a bite out of a pumpkin.  ’
‘  that’s a rational fear!  ’
‘  that is not a rational fear!  ’
‘  these are the musings of a paranoid man.  ’

Animal Crossing Starters:
  • “I figured you must be blackmailing that poor girl to have lunch with you.”
  • “I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty sexy.”
  • “I don’t want to live in a world where I have to eat sugar free sugar cookies.”
  • “I remembered today was your birthday so I thought I’d say hi.”
  • “You have nothing to lose except your lonely loser status.”
  • “Shut it, you faker!”
  • “I sure am tired from all that relaxing I did today.”
  • “Then I can spend my entire allowance on comic books and video games and no one can stop me.”
  • “When you listen to pop music, you often hear them saying ‘shawty.’”
  • “[NAME] made fun of me because I say 'poot’ all the time.”
  • “I waited and waited because I really wanted to see you.”
  • “Tell papa/mama what’s up.”
  • “It hurts my face just looking at you.”
  • “Marry me.”
  • “I look forward to seeing what you’re gonna do with my butt.”
  • “A trash bin..? Is this a clue to your true identity?”
  • “I’m beautiful, but I’m also deadly.”
  • “I hope you go to jail.”
  • “What did you do to my body?”
  • “Stick to chocolate and comic books. You’re too young for love anyway.”
  • “I’m sorry.. please don’t be too mad at me.”
  • “I have a big favor to ask you.”
  • “Maybe I’ll just go home and lock myself in a closet.”
  • “I gotta admit, I really love that one show where all those people do the stuff and then something happens.”
  • “Here, touch my skin. It’s totally slimy right now.”
  • “I probably look in the mirror 24 times a day just to be sure I’m still so darned handsome/beautiful.”
  • “Guess what I’ve got in my pockets right now.”
  • “Better not catch you making goo-goo eyes at my wife/husband.”
  • “No one understands me. I’m hungry all the time and no one cares.”
  • “Are you suggesting my style is outdated?”
  • “Don’t play with stink bugs, especially when you’ve got a date coming up.”
  • “They don’t even care who wins. They just all flex their pecs.”
  • “Love means accepting that there will be times when you don’t get the last scallop.”
  • “Yeah exercise is totally hard and stuff. I think I’m gonna go take a nap and read a book or whatever.”
  • “Today was the day my best friend in the whole wide world was born.”
  • “Whoa you look so weird. And not weird in a hip way. More like 'weird’ as in 'makes me want to barf.’”
  • “End my suffering.”
  • “Not to sound corny but I really like you.”
  • “I wonder how I can say 'swaggy ’ in the most grown up way possible.”
  • “Just because two people are good friends doesn’t mean they’d make a good couple.”
  • “Sorry, I was staring at your face because I don’t know you. Not because there’s something wrong with your face.”
  • “Would it surprise you if I said I’m pretty proud of my legs?”
  • “The truth is never free.. but sometimes it’s on sale.”
  • “I hear the sound of rap coming from somewhere.”
  • “They tell you to sleep on a problem. But what if your problem is insomnia?”
  • “I’ll just observe your friends from the shadows.”
  • “I heard allergies are caused by the government.”
  • “Watch out, 'cause I’ll compliment you until you puke.”
  • “So D.I.Y. stands for 'do it yourself’? Well, if these guys think I’m going to do my own manual labor, they’ve got another acronym coming.”
  • “I can smell your confidence. Smells like soup.”
  • “I’m gay.”
  • “You’re my hero.”
  • “Please don’t call on me.”
  • “I think I dropped my house key somewhere. That was my favorite key… it opened my house.”
  • “Do you want to hear the brutal truth? That outfit is a hot mess.”
  • “Oh, I get it! You’re playing it cool. Trying your best not to cry.”

✦  (  SERIAL   KILLER   SENTENCE   PROMPTS. 

 trigger heavy :  death, murder, blood, etc.  be cautious when reading and reblogging.                     please be sure and to change any of the pronouns if need be and / or as you see fit!   

in  the  killer’s  pov  : 

  • ❝  why are you screaming? i haven’t even cut on you yet?  ❞
  • ❝  oh, don’t you cry! i’ve killed a million times before.  ❞
  • ❝  i’m going to count to ten and when i’m finished, you’ll be dead.  ❞
  • ❝  scream all you want! no one will hear you down here!!  ❞
  • ❝  wooo! yeah! scream all you want! i’ll scream with you! mighty good time, yeah!  ❞
  • ❝  what’s the pointing in kidnapping if you aren’t going to do any killing?  ❞
  • ❝  i usually like to get to know my victims a little before i kill them.  ❞
  • ❝  every killer for himself, huh? it’s a dog eat dog world, huh?  ❞
  • ❝  you know what they say, once a killer, always a killer.  ❞
  • ❝  go on and run! run as fast as you can! i love a good chase!  ❞
  • ❝  you can run but you can’t hide! i’m going to find you and kill you!  ❞
  • ❝  see, i’ve stalked you for sometime before finally snatching you up!  ❞
  • ❝  i didn’t want to kill you whenever i brought you here but now, i have no choice!  ❞
  • ❝  you may think this is a one time thing but i promise, i will kill again.  ❞
  • ❝  come out, come out! wherever you are! you can’t hide from me forever!  ❞
  • ❝  there’s no turning back now! there’s no one coming for you, except for me!  ❞

in  the  victims  pov  : 

  • ❝  please! no! please!! don’t do this to me! please! ❞
  • ❝  why are you doing this to me? please! just let me go!  ❞
  • ❝  please, if you let me go, i won’t tell anybody about this! ❞
  • ❝  this is the part where things are switched up in your routines, victim kills the killer.  ❞
  • ❝  i told you already, i don’t why he/she/they let me go! he/she/they just did.  ❞
  • ❝  sometimes i can still see their face whenever i close my eyes.  ❞
  • ❝  why kill me? you can use me as ransom? my family loves me and has money!  ❞
  • ❝  oh, god, oh no!! please someone help me! HELP ME!  ❞
  • ❝  no, this isn’t real! NO, this isn’t happening to me! no, no, no, please.  ❞
  • ❝  oh, what’s the matter? surprised to see i made it out of your little death trap?  ❞
  • ❝  you’ll never get away with this! you hear me! you’ll never get away with it!  ❞
  • ❝  you’re sick! stop laughing! stop laughing, you sick son of a bitch!  ❞
  • ❝  when i get out of here, i’m going to run but i’ll be back for you, just wait. ❞
  • ❝  what — what are you doing? what are you going to do with that?  ❞
  • ❝  please, listen to me!! you have the wrong person!  ❞
  • ❝  oh god, you’re the killer everyone has been talking about! please, don’t hurt me! ❞

in  the  killer’s  lover  pov  :

  • ❝  long night? you’re covered in blood. ❞
  • ❝  i’ve missed you, though, i was still able to see you on the news.  ❞
  • ❝  wait, you went out and killed someone? without me? ❞
  • ❝  you’re hitting the news everywhere we go, we won’t be able to run forever. ❞
  • ❝  if you never let me a part of anything, why should i let you stay here?  ❞
  • ❝  as much as i enjoy you covered in blood, let’s get you cleaned up, in the shower. ❞
  • ❝  this is the third night in a row you come home covered in blood!  ❞
  • ❝  i’m just saying, maybe we should take some time off from killing..  ❞
  • ❝  i just don’t want you out so much with the police cracking down and all.  ❞
  • ❝  please, hurry back!! i’m afraid i might not ever seen you again when you leave.  ❞
  • ❝  you can’t keep killing, at least not without me around, to protect you.  ❞
  • ❝  if we keep doing this at this rate we’ll be as dead as our victims. ❞
  • ❝  wait!! i’m not leaving! are you crazy? this is my home!  ❞
  • ❝  help me lift him/them/her,  their/she/he’s heavy!!  
  • ❝  oh, brother, we really did a number on this one. i’m not cleaning it up.  ❞
  • ❝  you’re cleaning this one up, i cleaned up the last one.  ❞
  • ❝  here, finish her/him/them off, you look better doing it, i like to watch.  ❞

in  the  town / city’s  pov  :

  • ❝  can you believe it? there’s a killer roaming about and they have yet to catch ‘em. ❞
  • ❝  do you think that this killer is working all alone?  ❞
  • ❝  how hard is it to catch a killer? ❞
  • ❝  that killer on the loose made today’s news again.  ❞
  • ❝  haven’t you heard? the media just released a serial killer on the loose. ❞
  • ❝  i don’t want you out at night with this killer roaming around.  ❞
  • ❝  i can’t believe the media withheld information about that serial killer.  ❞
  • ❝  wait, you mean you don’t know? do you not watch the news?  ❞
  • ❝  what kind of serial killer doesn’t have a specific method when killing?  ❞
  • ❝  i can’t believe i’m living in a town / city where there is a serial killer loose.  ❞
  • ❝  if they don’t catch that killer soon, i’m packing up and moving. ❞
  • ❝  why are you so paranoid and scared all of a sudden? it’s just the police.  ❞
  • ❝  ever since this killer made news, you’ve been super paranoid.  ❞
  • ❝  did you hear? they think they may have finally caught that killer.  ❞
  • ❝  this killer is still killing people each day, how is this possible?  ❞
  • ❝  i still don’t understand why people take serial killer news the wrong way, as if it’s good.  ❞ 

                 BOOK STARTERS VOL.23   ( HOUSE OF LEAVES )  ( MARK Z. DANIELEWSKI )

  1. ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜
  2. ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜
  3. ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜
  4. ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜
  5. ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜
  6. ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜
  7. ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜
  8. ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜
  9. ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜
  10. ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜
  11. ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜
  12. ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜
  13. ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜
  14. ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜
  15. ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜
  16. ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜
  17. ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜
  18. ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜
  19. ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜
  20. ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜
  21. ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜
  22. ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜
  23. ❛ ‘Fuck’ and ‘fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜
  24. ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜
  25. ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜
  26. ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜
  27. ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜
  28. ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜
  29. ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜
  30. ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜
  31. ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜
  32. ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜
  33. ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜
  34. ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜
  35. ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜
  36. ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜
  37. ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜
  38. ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜
  39. ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜
  40. ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜
100 ways to say ‘I love you’, Skins edition
  1. ‘Wake up (name), you twat.’
  2. ‘Do you want a coke or something?’
  3. ‘Can I carry your books?’
  4. ‘Yeah, wow, lovely… No. But I like that you’re funny Iooking.’
  5. ‘Oh thank you, you’re so nice.’
  6. ‘You fancy me?’
  7. ‘I think that could have gone a lot worse, don’t you?’
  8. ‘We’ll miss you, won’t we?’
  9. [ text ] : EAT
  10. ‘Have you always had that mole?’
  11. ‘I’m respecting. Believe me, I’m respecting.’
  12. ‘You alright? Do you want to dance?’
  13. ‘Do you want me to walk you home?’
  14. ‘We’ll make ourselves comfy, yeah?’
  15. ‘Shall I give you head?’
  16. ‘I’m gonna get an early night. Coming to bed?’
  17. ‘I’ll give you head - that’s friendship.’
  18. ‘But what about you? You’ve got bigger problems than me.’
  19. ‘I like your hair.’
  20. ‘And I’m really, really sorry for being a slut, okay?’
  21. ‘I realised something. I’ve been an idiot.’
  22. ‘And I was hoping maybe you’d give me another chance?’
  23. ‘You’re clever, funny, and… very, very pretty.’
  24. ‘So I’ll see you around.’
  25. ‘(name), you came! I mean, cool, I mean… I wasn’t sure you would.’
  26. ‘Do you think they’ll give us a joint cell?’
  27. ‘I don’t want this to be difficult.’
  28. ‘Did you get beaten up?’
  29. ‘I want to speak to you, and I think you want to speak to me.’
  30. ‘Kiss me again.’
  31. ‘Come on, I’m taking you for breakfast.’
  32. ‘Happy birthday, mate.’
  33. ‘There’s something I have to get off my chest and if I don’t, I’m afraid everything might just totally go to shit.’
  34. ‘Come to bed with me. Please.’
  35. ‘You’re my best friend, but I really don’t know what the fuck you’re on about most of the time.’
  36. ‘See? I remembered your favourite.’
  37. ‘Look, sorry, (name). But your mum says we gotta take you home.’
  38. ‘Come out. I’ll get you dancing.’
  39. ‘Do I have to gay you now?’
  40. ‘Right, I know it might seem a bit fast, but, well, I think we’re ready, so, er, (name) … I want you to move in with me.’
  41. ‘Let’s talk. Fill me in with everything. Every little detail.’
  42. ‘We can carry on pretending, if it makes you feel any better.’
  43. ‘And I fucking love you.’
  44. ‘Wow! You’ve got a wacker lot of doughnuts.’
  45. ‘Cheeky.’
  46. ‘Thanks for keeping schtum.’
  47. ‘Hi, I made tea.’
  48. ‘I’ve never been to a pyjama party before, so I brought Vodka. Was that right?’
  49. ‘I’ll show you how to do a blowjob.’
  50. ‘I missed you… I missed you too much.’
  51. ‘I think you can do anything.’
  52. ‘It’s also nice just being with you, when you’re not being a prick, that is.’
  53. ‘You alright?’
  54. ‘I know you, (name). I know you’re lonely. I think you need someone to want you. Well, I do want you. So be brave. And want me back!’
  55. ‘Fuck you.’
  56. ‘Can’t we just sit like this … for a bit?’
  57. ‘This is a once-only charity event, you understand?’
  58. ‘I bought a fucking gateaux.’
  59. ‘Please. Can we start again?’
  60. ‘Facebook really needs to hear about this.’
  61. ‘You’re very stalkable.’
  62. ‘I was scared!’
  63. ‘I am so proud of you.’
  64. ‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough?’
  65. ‘She’s lovely, isn’t she?’
  66. ‘You look nice in that dress.’
  67. ‘You are doing so well, sweetheart.’
  68. ‘So you’re mental, and I’m useless.’
  69. ‘So, what are we doing next, mystery girl?’
  70. ‘I’ll never forget you.’
  71. ‘Hi. I got eggs. We can have eggs, yeah? And Red Bulls and pain au chocolat.’
  72. ‘I’d die for you. I love you. I love you so much and it’s killing me.’
  73. ‘Don’t take any crap this time.’
  74. ‘Badass.’
  75. ‘You’ve totally got, like, “fuck me” eyes, girl. Totally “fuck me sideways” eyes.’
  76. ‘Maybe we can go together.’
  77. ‘Don’t be an ass hat and people will like you more.’
  78. ‘I’m trying to understand your way, but you won’t let me.’
  79. ‘You’ve got quite a rep, but you’re actually pretty sound.’
  80. ‘You’ve got to stick it to the man, bruv.’
  81. ‘You need to sort yourself out.’
  82. ‘Remember when we were kids and we used to talk about just… just fucking it, running away and becoming roadies?’
  83. ‘Everything is going to be fine, I promise you.’
  84. ‘Hi, you look nice.’
  85. ‘You may live your life as you want.’
  86. ‘We’ll do a girls’ night in.’
  87. ‘You’re a shape-shifter of happiness.’
  88. ‘It’s not like we’re getting married! It was one dinner!’
  89. ‘Thank you, my henna-handed honcho.’
  90. ‘I’m sorry. I was just looking for somewhere a bit quiet.’
  91. ‘It’s heavenly.’
  92. ‘Why aren’t you here?’
  93. ‘I tried to ring you.’
  94. ‘Everything’s better. Here you are again.’
  95. ‘I’ll dance with you.’
  96. ‘What’s happened to you, (name)?’
  97. ‘I didn’t wanna tell you this when you were all smitten and shit but you can do better.’
  98. ‘Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I’m so glad you came!’
  99. ‘I promise. Everything’s going to be alright.’
  100. ‘ I love you.’
The Lego Batman Movie Sentence Starters

“DC. The house that Batman built.”
“Get yourself ready for some…reading.”
“Batman is very wise.”
“Yeah, I’ve got an extra ab.”
“We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C4, about 150 little cute little classic bomb-type bombs, and two best friends, and request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world!”
“I’m a loser at home, and I’m a loser at work.”
“You should be terrified.”
“All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant!”
“Dear gosh, you destroyed the ___! You have thought of everything!”
“I just wrote a song about how I’m gonna kick all of your butts.”
“Get it together, guys, you’re making me look bad in front of Batman!”
“Save the city or catch your greatest enemy.”
“You think you’re my greatest enemy?”
“I like to fight around.”
“I’m okay with you fighting other people.”
“Remember, kids: If you wanna be like Batman, take care of your abs.”
“Were you looking at the old family pictures again?”
“I don’t talk about feelings.”
“Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.”
“Tuxedo dress up party!”
“How am I supposed to get ___’s respect when I’m working with these human farts?”
“I’m just so jazzed to meet you!”
“I hate everything you just said.”
“You won’t get to fight any of this anymore.”
“Riddle me this: …what just happened?”
“There are no more vigilantes allowed.”
“You need to take responsibility for your life.”
“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Hello secret camera!”
“You’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies and drinking chardonnay.”
“Chance of failure is 110%.”
“Sometimes to right a wrong, you have to wrong right.”
“How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met.”
“Life doesn’t give you seatbelts!”
“I’m trying to give you a big old hug.”
“What’s the vigilante position on cookies?”
“It’s weirder if it’s not your son…”
“Somebody get this man some pants.”
“You can’t be a hero if you only care about yourself.”
“I got thrown in this heckhole on purpose!”
“I’m gonna go start looting.”
“Ask your nerd friends.”
“Who’s the greatest villain of them all now?!”
“I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.”
“Rename this the buttmobile.”
“Do you ever get scared?”
“This is not a family trip.”
“It’s 100% lava.”
“Why did you build this thing only one seat?”
“Last I checked I only had one butt.”
“For a loner, you sure like movies about relationships.”
“Good news, our bathroom problem is solved.”
“We are just one big happy f…raternity of people.”
“I don’t need friends.”
“I swear I’m a good guy.”
“I was trying to protect them…”
“Are they really the ones you’re protecting?”
“Don’t do what I would do!”
“You’ve gotta let me go down there and save them!”
“I don’t even know why you bothered coming back.”
“…I was afraid.”
“I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you.”
“Saving this city is too big a job for one person.”
“Who’s laying down those funky beats?”
“Okay, ___. Bring the pain.”
“As I predicted, we’re doomed!”
“You had me at shut up.”
“How are your abs, bro?”
“Sometimes losing people is part of life, but that doesn’t mean you stop letting them in.”
“This is my family. But it’s your family too.”
“Do you have a knife? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.”

Random Assorted Starters
  1. “Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw <insert person> in his underwear.” 
  2. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” 
  3. “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
  4. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”
  5. “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
  6. “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
  7. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” 
  8. “If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?”
  9. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
  10. “Don’t be so humble - you are not that great.”
  11. “I thought I’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while, it relaxes me.“
  12. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.”
  13. “I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist”
  14. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
  15. “Don’t put your wand there, boy! … Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!”
  16. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
  17. “What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.” 
  18. “Don’t gobblefunk around with words.”
  19. “I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.”
  20. “You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!”
  21. “You should eat a waffle! You can’t be sad if you eat a waffle!”
  22. “Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed! ”
  23. “Remind me, to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?”
  24. “I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!”
  25. “If there were an international butt competition, <insert person> would win, hands down—or cheeks up.”
  26. “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
  27. “I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?”
  28. “How is it possible to have a civil war?” 
  29. “Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers; we get Aquatruck.”
  30. “When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
  31. “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”
  32. “Whoa, who peed in your Cheerios?”
  33. “I’ve had great success being a total idiot. ”
  34. “This shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka!”
  35. “Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”
  36. “I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. ”
  37. “I was feeling the height of bitchiness.”
  38. “My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.”
  39. “I’m placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.”
  40. “If you’re trapped in the dream of the Other, you’re fucked.”
  41. “If you can’t do anything about it, laugh like hell.”
  42. “There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone’s face is in close proximity to your penis. This was not one of those times.”
  43. “My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.”
  44. “Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie.”
  45. “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”
  46. “To answer your question, you want me because I’m made of awesome.”
  47. “Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.”
  48. “I have to return some videotapes”
  49. “I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.”
  50. “Of course you know, this means war.”
  51. “What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name” 
  52. “’Can the sarcasm?’ Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.”
  53. “Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.”
  54. “You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt” 
  55. “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
  56. “How very wet this water is.”
  57. “My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.”
  58. “If I looked like him, I’d want to have sex with myself. All the time.”
  59. “All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.”
  60. “Hey, <insert name>. <insert nickname>. Fire! Flood! Earthquake! Revolution! Godzilla’s on the loose! Get up!”

anonymous asked:

Lottie!!! Do you have any feelings about the accents of various Harry Potter characters?? I would love to hear about it bc I for one am very passionate about Sirius Black occasionally sounding EXTREMELY posh and feeling a bit embarrassed about it

I… have… SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THE ACCENTS OF VARIOUS HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!! 

and by ‘the accents of various Harry Potter characters’ I mean the LACK THEREOF and the Overwhelming amount of Posh Wankers in this series. I MEAN. it winds me up MASSIVELY, and it also opens a can of wooorrrmmmss re: the wizarding population around the British Isles. like… We Need To Talk About Wales. caveat: this is all coming from a Northerner, so as far as I’m concerned the Midlands are in the South, but I’m going to try to be geographical instead of Northern about this.

SO, for those who can’t tell the difference between various UK accents/didn’t realise there were accents in England other than The Benedict Cumberbatch (which, if you’re going from these movies, is understandable), let me break down the film accents for you: McGonagall, Cho Chang and Oliver Wood are Scottish, Seamus Finnegan, Mad-Eye Moody and Luna Lovegood are Irish (Evanna Lynch is from the border region so her accent sounds slightly Northern Irish), Neville Longbottom has a Yorkshire accent (Yorkshire is a county in the North of England), Hagrid is from the West Country (which, despite how it sounds, is The South), and literally every other character sounds like they grew up below the Watford Gap. discounting the ones I’ve just mentioned, everyone else is Generic Southern or straight up Good Old Boy RP (Received Pronunciation, which is like standard BBC English that you hear on the telly/out of the gob of pretty much every HP character). 

(I mean, in fairness, this wasn’t really a Movie decision. in the books the Midlands and the North are just places the Hogwarts Express has to pass through to get to Scotland. Harry is from Surrey, the Weasleys are from Devon, it never really says where Hermione’s from but judging by how her dialogue reads I’m guessing it’s The South, Sirius grew up walking distance from King’s Cross, Godric’s Hollow is in the West Country somewhere, Malfoy Manor is in Wiltshire, and even though the footy team you support doesn’t always indicate where you’re from we’ll ignore that in this case and say that Dean Thomas is from Stratford, East London. and those are just the characters I can remember off the top of my head. that’s a lot of southerners. like, Pureblood wizards seem to be mostly very old aristocracy (I remember reading that the Malfoys came over from France with William the Conquerer in 1066), so you could argue that, like, they all had wizard babies in/around the capital and they’re slowly but surely spreading outwards hence the CLUMP of southern wizards (not to mention they tend to stick together in communities like Ottery St Catchpole and Godric’s Hollow) but a) that is a stupid, reaching theory and I seriously doubt it, and b) even if it WAS true, MUGGLEBORNS EXIST! why aren’t there wizards popping up in, like, Liverpool or Salford or Birmingham? why is EVERYONE so goddamn WELL-SPOKEN???)

I do think about the accents thing a lot. and I get mad about the movies a lot. I mean, Hagrid’s accent reads as Yorkshire. he says ‘summat’! he’s the most Yorkshire thing ever!! and Dean has a Generic Nice Southern accent, not an East London accent! he should sound like Alfie bloody Moon!!! also, considering Godric’s Hollow is in the West Country, DUMBLEDORE SHOULD HAVE HAGRID’S ACCENT!!!!! I JUST DIE OVER THE TERRIBLE ACCENT CHOICES FOR THESE FILMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU LET MICHAEL ‘I DON’T NEED TO READ THE BOOKS’ GAMBON DO A WEIRD DRUNKEN IRISH LILT WHEN HE COULD HAVE BEEN HAGRIDDING EVERYWHERE!!!!!! (also if Voldemort hadn’t ruined everything and Harry had been raised in Godric’s Hollow he would also have a Hagrid-ish accent. amazing.) AND, according to the HP wiki, Little Hangleton is in the North somewhere, which means Gaunt cottage is in the North somewhere, which means VOLDEMORT IS NORTHERN. LOL. take a moment for that one. let it sink in. Voldemort is my past, present and fookin’ future, innit. 

BUT YEAH. ANYWAY.

so if we’re going by the books there’s literally one Scottish person and one Irish person that we know of at Hogwarts (AND one of them is a teacher, AND I don’t think either of them were ever SPECIFICALLY said to have a Scottish/Irish accent). which begs the question: where the fuck is everyone who isn’t middle class English going to school??? what the hell is going on here???? as far as we know there is one (1) Irish student and this school and no (0) Scottish students. which… is wild. especially because the entire Irish quidditch team must have passed through the hallowed halls of Hogwarts in the preceding 10 years, but suddenly: a dearth. AND THERE’S NO WELSH STUDENTS! WHERE ARE THE WELSH? obviously the Holyhead Harpies are a Welsh team, and the common Welsh Green is a Welsh dragon, and Dai Llewellyn who had a ward in St Mungo’s named after him sounds Welsh, and I’m pretty sure Helga Hufflepuff was from Wales*, SO WHERE ARE THEIR SPROGS AT? 

*IIRC aren’t the four founders all from different countries? I’m sure it’s at least implied by the Sorting Hat at one point. like ‘Gryffindor from wild moor’** = Dartmoor, I assume, as Godric’s Hollow is in the West Country = England, Ravenclaw’s from ‘glen’ = Scotland, I’m sure there are glens in other places but SCOTLAND, Hufflepuff is something something valley? again, valleys are everywhere, but whenever someone says ‘valley’ my brain immediately puts on a Daffyd Thomas voice and goes ‘IN THE VALLEEEEYYYSS’ which it certainly doesn’t do for any other country, so = Wales, and SLYTHERIN = FEN = Ireland has a shitload of bogs and fens and stuff. plus Slytherin is green, Ireland is the Emerald Isle, I’m just REALLY GLAD SLYTHERIN’S IRISH HAHA ÉIRE GO BRÁCH LOSERS 

**FOR THE RECORD the HP wiki told me Godric’s Hollow is in the West Country, and that seems very likely as the North of England doesn’t seem to exist in the HP canon, HOWEVER I PERSONALLY choose to believe that the ‘wild moor’ is in fact THE YORKSHIRE MOORS and that Godric Gryffindor, like Tom Marvolo Riddle, is a top lad innit mate. 

but back to The Absent Welsh: I like to think that maybe they’ve set up their own school. it’s a weekly boarding. everyone speaks Cymraeg. all the Irish and Scottish students go there too because they fucking hate the English. it would certainly explain the lack of Scottish, Irish and Welsh students at Hogwarts. they’re all just getting on with it in Wales somewhere. probably Anglesey. or maybe there are actually wizarding schools that are just normal day schools and Hogwarts is just the famous one because it’s a big, old, prestigious boarding school. considering Harry apparently had his name down since birth… MAYBE HOGWARTS IS THE ETON COLLEGE OF MAGIC! THIS IS MAKING SO MUCH SENSE!!! all the middle class English lot are like ‘oh darling, you simply must go to the Eton College of magic!!’ meanwhile muggleborn Gary ‘Gazza’ Bloggs from the Wirral is like ‘nah mate I’ll just go t’ t’ local like.’

(SPEAKING OF ETON COLLEGE, Justin Finch-Fletchley had his name down for it, which is aaaaabsolutely hilarious. Eton is an independent all-boys boarding school which costs roughly £37,000 ($48,000) per academic year. if Justin hadn’t been a surprise wizard he probably would have gone to Eton, gone to Oxford, joined an elite drinking club, burned money in front of homeless people, rattled a dead pig and then become Prime Minister. but instead of doing all of that he has to go to a PUBLIC SCHOOL with negligible rules, very little uniform, girls, AND he can’t even tell any of his posh little mates about it when he goes home to MUMMY for the VAC. to top it all off he’s gone from being a Good Old Boy Top Shelf Jolly Hockey Sticks Young Chap on the path to upper class glory and the Houses of Parliament to being a MUGGLEBORN HUFFLEPUFF i.e. the bottom of the Wizarding world/Hogwarts food chain. but never mind, eh, he seems pleased enough. bet he has a CORKING accent, what!)

even though my Average Joe Wizard High School idea is definitely not true, I definitely 100% feel like Ireland should have its own wizarding school. the Republic of Ireland’s relationship with The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is so long and arduous that even I, who has an Irish mother, can’t keep it all straight in my head, but basically Ireland is not part of ~the UK~ or ~Great Britain~ even though it is part of the British Isles, so they really need their own school. (tbh I’m low key offending myself by talking about this like they Should have their own school rather than They Have Their Own School, Obviously, but… whatever.) THEY ALSO SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN MINISTRY OF MAGIC! they might have! we just don’t know! why didn’t Harry make better friends with Seamus!!! UNLESS, of course, wizards don’t trifle themselves with Muggle Affairs and didn’t get involved with the Irish revolution and the Troubles etc. (although considering how the Order of the Phoenix being founded/the war really kicking into high gear coincided with the Winter of Discontent/widespread right wing sympathy across the UK… I doubt it), and so Irish wizards are still being governed from ~Westminster. but again, if that’s the case, WHY ARE NONE OF ‘EM GOIN’ HOGWARTS??????? WHY IS SEAMUS FINNEGAN THE LONE IRISH DIASPORA AT WIZARD SCHOOL???? 

I… literally cannot believe how Away from me this has Gotten. 

accents. okay. 

yes, Sirius Black accidentally being EXTREMELY POSH is something I am very passionate about also. he tries to mask it by being all rebellious and Landaaaannn about everything but fails miserably because every so often he’ll say ‘one’, and when he’s tired or excited he’s just like… the Queen on steds. arrived at Hogwarts fluent in French and passable in Latin. knows how to use so many forks. a prank goes right and he’s like ‘YESSSS TOP SHELF, BOYS! ABSOLUTELY BANG ON!’ James is also posh but posh in the rich, big old farmhouse, Barbour jackets and Hunter wellies way, so he gets away with it because he’s never been to a cotillion and doesn’t sometimes slip and say ‘spiffing’. meanwhile Remus is from the Midlands in my heart (maybe Shropshire)*** and is just very normal and not at all impressed by these posh knobs he has to share a bedroom with. Peter is probably from somewhere with an accent that grates on you after a while, like Birmingham. (no offence @Brummies.) according to the HP wiki (it’s teaching me SO MUCH but literally where tf are they getting this info) Snape is from the Midlands, which means that surely Lily is from the Midlands, because they met when they were playing out as kids!!! this Excites Me! also imagining Snape with a Wolverhampton accent is just… exquisite. 

***I know a lot of people are All About Scottish Remus and while that is second in my heart to Midlands Remus it is certainly In My Heart. 

I love and support Neville Longbottom having a Yorkshire accent because I, too, have a Yorkshire accent, and his in the films means SO MUCH TO ME!! he’s OUR BOY!!! GO ON, LADDDD!!!!!! etc. I really want Lee Jordan to have a Limmy-esque Glaswegian accent, because IMAGINE him doing the quidditch commentary and just getting more and more incomprehensibly Scottish, and McGonagall keeps yelling at him because she can actually understand what he’s saying whereas everyone else can just manage to catch ‘Slytherin’ and ‘cheating’ and ‘10 points’ so they’re just like ‘???!!!!! ! !! ? !!’ also I’m a big fan of Bristolian Lavender Brown, for no other reason than I just thought of her greeting Ron by saying ALRIGHT MY LUVVER and nearly died. 

in conclusion, you could say that I do indeed have feelings about the accents of various Harry Potter characters and I hope you weren’t lying when you said you’d love to hear about it. 

` ° * ✧ ° RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS PT 2.

❛ I wish that I could tell you. ❜
❛ You should have stayed. ❜
❛ Please don’t come looking for me. ❜
❛ Just get out of here. ❜
❛ I don’t know, I just don’t know. ❜
❛ Why did you come? ❜
❛ Do you think this is a game? ❜
❛ Can’t break something that was already broke. ❜
❛ Don’t fix something that isn’t broke. ❜
❛ Why can’t you just butt out?
❛ I don’t need your help. ❜
❛ I’m not here for you. ❜
❛ You’re never here for me when I need you. ❜
❛ Is that smell you? ❜
❛ Can you please just stop already. ❜
❛ I’m leaving you. ❜
❛ I just didn’t want you to come around. ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re okay alone? ❜
❛ No, no, no, no —- I just checked it last night. ❜
❛ Don’t worry, you’ll learn how to do it someday. ❜
❛ I think we are going to like each other a lot. ❜
❛ I just wanted to come and let you know. ❜
❛ So, what are you going to do, now that you know? ❜
❛ You have got to be fucking kidding me right now. ❜
❛ Do me a favor and shut up already. ❜
❛ Scratch the serial number off of it. ❜
❛ I’m not wearing a mask. ❜
❛ You act like it’s all my fault sometimes. ❜
❛ I’m here for your pity party. ❜
❛ You are in a lot of trouble, you know that right? ❜
❛ You aren’t allowed in here. ❜
❛ Who invited you? ❜
❛ You aren’t wanted around here anymore. Sorry. ❜
❛ I can’t keep covering for you. What’s going on? ❜
❛ Just tell me what’s wrong! Talk to me! ❜
❛ There’s so many things I would’ve done differently. ❜
❛ Stop crying about it and do something about it. ❜
❛ Stop looking for the things worth dying over and find the things worth living for. ❜
❛ So, prove them wrong. Thats the best way to do it. ❜
❛ Don’t need anyone who doesn’t need me. ❜
❛ Yeah, well, we all have our sob story so just save it. ❜
❛ Don’t cry over me or for me, I’m not worth it. ❜
❛ It isn’t cheating if you aren’t actually dating. ❜
❛ You know what? That’s a good idea. ❜
❛ You need to find someome better already. ❜
❛ I’m not listening to your bullshit right now. ❜
❛ Is that a freaking condom? ❜
❛ It smells like sour milk in here for crying out loud. ❜
❛ Am I really standing here witnessing this right now? ❜
❛ I’m not a bad influence if it’s always your ideas. ❜
❛ I never forced you to do anything. ❜
❛ Are you really walking out on me? ❜
❛ Come near me again and I’ll blow your head off. ❜
❛ Treat me like the princess that I am. ❜
❛ Just remember a lot of guys want what I’m letting you do right now. ❜
❛ How can you possibly be in love with two people at the same time? ❜
❛ Let’s just get out of here. ❜
❛ Shhh, I’m going to key his/her car. ❜
❛ There’s no one even here. ❜
❛ I’m just saying, it sounds like a bad idea. ❜
❛ Is that blood on your shirt? ❜
❛ Oh my God, are you bleeding?! ❜
❛ Jesus, don’t you ever get tired of doing that. ❜
❛ You know they throw people in Asylum’s for doing that. ❜
❛ You’re just looking for trouble, like always. ❜
❛ Enough is never enough for you. ❜
❛ I could never get tired of this. ❜
❛ You’re so jumpy lately. ❜
❛ I mean I feel bad but whatever. ❜
❛ I have a reputation to maintain unlike you. ❜
❛ Why are you staring at me? ❜
❛ Stop feeding into his/her bullshit! Wake up! ❜
❛ Are you on drugs or something? ❜
❛ You have lost your fucking mind, once and for all. ❜
❛ Yes, you summoned me. ❜
❛ I’m not here to help you. I’m here to watch you struggle. ❜
❛ Hey, cut it out already! I can hear the stupid TV. ❜
❛ Are you seriously asking me this right now? ❜
❛ Have you ever tried to count the stars? ❜
❛ I should kill you right now! ❜
❛ Don’t you dare walk away from me! ❜
❛ I know where you live! Don’t forget! ❜
❛ I just wanted to have a good time but no, you couldn’t let me, could you? ❜
❛ This friendship has officially sunk, hope you’re happy. ❜
❛ Are you satisfied now? You should be. This is what you wanted. ❜
❛ I don’t get everything that I want unlike you. ❜
❛ Must be nice to be that miserable all the time. ❜
❛ Happiness is the most temporary thing in life. ❜
❛ Everything happens for a reason, right? ❜
❛ You can call me at any hour. Always. ❜
❛ There’s nothing that I can’t do. ❜
❛ You’re like a forty year old, like an old soul or something. ❜
❛ Say it or I’ll cut your finger off. ❜
❛ I will stab you right in the eye if you look at me one more time. ❜
❛ Go ahead and look but don’t touch, unless you want a broken limb. ❜
❛ I’m actually a serial killer. I’m not joking. ❜
❛ You have such a morbid sense of humor. ❜
❛ This is our time, come on, let’s have our time. ❜
❛ Hey, want a hand with that? ❜
❛ I almost forgot what that felt like. ❜
❛ I just want to feel something. I don’t know what though. ❜
❛ I need your help with something. ❜
❛ I’m pissed off right now. ❜
❛ Don’t go breaking my heart. ❜
❛ Why do you build me and watch me fall? Is that fun for you? ❜
❛ Well, I’m used to it by now, so take your best shot. ❜
❛ I hate crying. It makes me mad. ❜
❛ I really don’t want to be seen with you right now. ❜
❛ Please, just don’t forget. Whatever you do. Don’t forget. ❜
❛ You can’t catch me though. ❜
❛ I know I said fucked up things and I’m sorry. ❜
❛ Look, I’m an asshole. I don’t mean be to be. ❜
❛ I’ll try not to be an asshole anymore. ❜
❛ Any pocket knives or anything? ❜
❛ Where’d you go? ❜
❛ I’m going to turn myself in. ❜
❛ Did you finish your cigarette yet? ❜
❛ You can turn around and face the other way. ❜
❛ It wasn’t worth it, was it? ❜
❛ I have no idea what you said. ❜
❛ Right now, you’re acting very weird. ❜
❛ I don’t even know what that statement means. ❜
Peter Pan Imagine/Mine

Imagine Peter finding out you had sex with a lost boy

Warnings:Smut, cursing,violence,possessive Pan

You came on this island because you were lost, you no intention on finding love, or anything of that nature, for you simply only wanted to find yourself.

Peter found you , you were crying at your window, you were begging for someone to take away your pain, you didn’t care who, or even what it was, you were willing to do anything and everything, that’s when he showed up.

Peter saw you and tapped your shoulder.

“(Gasp) Who are you ?” you say in shock

“Oh did I forget to introduce myself? I’m Peter, Peter Pan.” he smiles

“I’m Y/n.” you say with a sniffle

“Hi Y/n, are you okay? I see that you’re crying, and those don’t look like tears f joy love.”

“No I’m not, I’m miserable here, I just want to go, be free, do as I please, I feel like I’m trapped here.” you say as you start to cry again.

“Hey hey hey, It’s gonna be okay.” he said

“No it’s not.” you cry

“Yes, it is.” he says

“How do you know?” you ask

“Because , I’m going to take you, take you away.” he smiles

“To where?” you ask

“To a place, where you will never, ever have to worry about grown up things again.” he says 

“Where is that?” you ask

“Neverland.” he smirks

Ever since that day you became a lost girl, you were from Neverland, you usually hung out with Peter Pan.

If you weren’t with Peter, you were with the lost boys. Playing games, acting rough with one another, telling stories, and scaring each other at night.

Peter was right, he told you were free to do whatever you wanted to do, you could be anywhere you wanted to be,and go wherever you wanted to go. Nobody could stop you.

As the days go by, the days got hotter, so you would wear less clothing, this, was a problem.

You would wear shorts, a tank top, and some sneakers.

The lost boys couldn’t help but stare, I mean you had ass and tits, what boy in their right mind wouldn’t stare? 

And since you were always so active you were really fit, and had curves in all the right places, everybody noticed, especially Peter, but you would have never guessed.

One day you get ready to head out, you do the same old routine, brush your hair, put on your clothes, and with a little magic help you put some makeup on.

You walk outside and join the lost boys as usual.

“Hey Y/n.” a lost boy said, his name was David

“Hey David!” you smiled

“How are you?” he asked as he sat next to you

“Great actually, even though it’s hot.” you say

“Yeah man it’s really hot, we might go to the lake today, I heard.”

“Awesome!” you shouted

David stared at you, looking up and down, admiring your body ,“Yeah so like , I was thinking-” 

“Listen up guys.” Peter interrupted

“Today we are going to the lake, so bring your swimming attire and stuff, head back here in 15.” he says as he looks at you

“You come with me.” he says

“Yeah sure!” you say with no questio to where you were going

He brought you to his cabin, you’ve only been there a couple times, once on your first night because you were scared, and two times because you were totally drunk and Peter wanted to keep you with him, so that any of the lost boys wouldn’t get any ideas.

“Why am I here?” you asked

“You need a bathing suit yes?” he asked as he cocked up an eyebrow

“Yes.” you said as you smiled

“Well, here you go.” he said as he pointed to his bed

There were about 5 bathing suits to choose from, each decorated beautifully.

“Wow…” you said

“I had the mermaids make them, I didn’t know your taste so I thought they’d make a couple so you could pick your favorite one.” he said

“Thank you!” you said as you hugged Peter.

Peter was shocked , you guys never hugged, but he hugged you back, but as soon as he did, he wished he hadn’t.

Hugging you meant having you close to him, his arms wrapped around your curves, it was unexpected, and he felt, almost attracted to you, which he didn’t like.

Peter clears his throat and you back away quickly. “Oh my goodness Peter I am terribly sorry.” you put your head down

“Don’t be love, now hurry up and change, I’ll be waiting outside.”

“Wait!” you almost shout

“Yes love?” he said

“Don’t you have to get dressed?” you ask

Peter lifts up his shirt , exposing his trunks were under his shorts already. But you were staring at something else, you have never seen his body, not like that.You quickly snap out of it and look at him.

“Oh right!” you smiled and nod your head

You get dressed and pick out the green bathing suit, it had green vines and flowers on it, basically looked like you were a fairy.

You step outside but holding a towel so that you’re kinda covered

Peter noticed some of the boys trying to take a peek, with that Peter takes off his shirt , “here.”

He hands it to you.

“Oh thank you Peter.” you say as you put it on.

You all head to the lake, once you get there , you all start to undress and jump in the lake, it was pretty easily the best day you had so far.

There were games, food, and music of course, you guys basically spent the whole day their,and even at night you built a campfire to stay even longer, because it was the summer, so it was still pretty warm at night.

You have about two drinks in you so you were feeling pretty good, well that’s when David came and started chatting you up

“Sup.” he said

You giggle “Sup” you said back

“You having a good time?” he asked

“This is probably the best time of my life” you said

“Haha same!” he said 

You just smile and giggle some more

“You know, you’re really beautiful.” he said

“Stop” you say but blush

“No no no , it’s true.” he lifts up your chin.

“Thank you David.” you smile

“You wanna get outta here?” he asked

“And do?” you said a little protective

“Just talk, I promise.” he had his pinky out

“Then of course.” you smiled, and your pinky and his pinky interlocked with one another

You walk along the lake, just talking about, everything, and nothing.

“Wait so you used to pay the flute?” you laughed

“Hey hey hey I was the flute master!” he said

You playfully push him and laugh even harder

“Oh I’m sure you were!” you giggle

David pushes softly against a tree, rubbing your hair, and looking deeply into your eyes

“David, what are you doing?” you ask

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.” he says

He then kisses you, softly, but then roughly, it was something you had never experienced before, for this was your first kiss since you came to Neverland.

He then takes you deeper into the woods, undressing you, and you didn’t mind, you were loving every second of it, how sexy it was to have a boy basically drool all over you. It was such a good feeling, and you didn’t want it to stop.

Sooner than later, he’s inside you, you’re moaning and whining and just a mess, David covers your mouth because you get too loud, but you just smile and giggle and he laughs a little too.

“This is super dangerous, anyone could catch us.” you say

“Like I care?” He says

Well little did you know, Peter was watching the whole time, fire was in his eyes, he was furious, he didn’t know he wanted you until he couldn’t have you, you know how Pan was, he wanted you all to his self, he was selfish.

As he watch David fuck you all he could think about was how he could do it better, it was such a sick thing to think, but he did. He wanted to push David away, he wanted to take over, he wanted to show him how it’s really done, but he didn’t. He waited, and he watched, for he had a plan for the both of you.

The next day you all you could think about was your night with David, you both decided to keep it on the downlow, since neither of you wanted to be in a relationship, well he didn’t, you on the other hand wouldn’t have mind one, but oh well.

You ate breakfast, and this time before you ate Peter didn’t make an announcement, like he always does, it was strange, but you all let it go.

Peter was quite all through breakfast, he didn’t make a word, everyone was kinda freaked out by it because usually he would chat up a storm.

You were a little freaked out as well so you decide to go up to him

“Hey Peter.” you say with a smile

He smiles back and nods as he continues to eat

“Are you okay?” you ask

He puts his thumb up and smiles as he still has his mouth full

“Oh great, well it’s just because you haven’t talked, you know.” you said

He put’s his hand on his belly signaling that he was really hungry

“Oh gotcha!” you said with your thumbs up

You walked away still a little worried, this was not like Peter.

After breakfast you guys waited around until Peter gave orders, but all he did after he ate his breakfast was walked into his cabin

“Uhm, is he gonna give us our chores?” A lost boy asked

“Felix?” you asked

“I’ll go check it out.” he said as he rolled his eyes

Everyone knows Felix was Peter’s best mate,, so you usually go to him for anything if Peter wasn’t around

Peter was sitting on his chair, playing with whatever he had in his hand,

“Sup Pan.” Felix said

“What do they want Felix?” He said in annoyance

“They want to know why you’re so quite.” he said as he sat down

“I’m playing a game.” he smiled

“What game?” Felix became interested

“David and Y/n went off alone the other day.” he looked at him

“Oh yeah? And what happen?” Felix asked

“What do you think?” Peter said in a stern way, smile was gone, and he just had a mean cruel look on his face

“Oh… OH!” Felix said

Peter nodded , looking away, thinking more and more about you two.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked

“I’m going to make him suffer, and her beg for my forgiveness.” he said in such a evil way.

Felix looked at Peter, “Don’t hurt em Pan, you know I’m just looking out for you , I want the best for you, you’re my best mate.”

“I know Felix, now, let’s go, we don’t want to scare them too much.” he laughed and got up from his chair.

You see Peter head out his cabin and then rush back to the campsite,

“He’s coming!” you yell

Everybody goes into position and sits down

“Today we actually need food supplies, so we can split up in groups of 3′s.”

Oddly enough, he puts you, him, and David in a group.

It was awkward as hell, half because you two just had sex, but second because Peter wouldn’t even talk!

You would ask him questions and he would reply with one word answers, it was so annoying and frustrating.

As the days go by Peter would talk more and more everyday, and it was like nothing was wrong.

Everything went back to normal until one day Peter asked David if he could join him for dinner in his tent, he needed to talk to him about something

Your head shot up like a deer in head lights, sure it was almost a month it happen, but still maybe Peter found out, maybe he knew this whole time? You don’t know but you were freaking out

Peter and David sat in the tent eating their dinner, and talking about random things, Peter played it off pretty well

“So how’s hunting for you?” he asked

“Oh man it’s good, I feel like I could catch a fish with my bare hands in a couple of weeks.” he said

“That’s great!” Peter said

You began to walk up to David’s tent, along with all the other lost boys, how can you not wonder what was going on?

“So, how was she?” Peter stopped smiling and looked at David straight in the eyes

“Uhm, I don’t know what-” 

“Cut the bull shit David.” Peter looked at David “Now, how was she?” he asked

You were shocked, how did he know? How would he even find out? You both swore to keep your mouths shut.

“You know Pan, I’d rather not say.” he said

Peter laughed “Oh come on, we’re both young men, we both know what goes on, did she give to easily?” he winked at him

“You know what Pan I gotta go” as he starts to walk out of the tent, almost out the door Peter stops him in his tracks

He looks him dead in the eyes, and laughs with a evil smirk on his lips. “What’s wrong David? Is this making you feel uncomfortable? Because I know? Because I can imagine what it was like? Fucking her brains out?” 

David had fear in his eyes and so did you, you were frozen, you had no words, and now, all the lost boys knew.

David had fear in his eyes, his heart was racing, stomach was turning, and he was sweating up a storm.

“Did you really think you could hide it?” “That it would be your guys little secret?” Peter asked

“Why do you care so much about who Y/n sleeps with anyway?” he got the courage to ask

“What?” Peter asked, a little taken back “What does that even mean? “

“Is it that bad? That she could be attracted to someone other than you? Are you threatened that she could maybe be taken from you? It’s not like you wanted to sleep with her!” he yells

Peter looks at him, he is about to loose it, he is about to loose all of it, he could feel the anger rise up in him, as he is about to punch the shit out of David you scream “Peter wait!“ 

Part 2?

                     SAINTS ROW IV SENTENCE STARTERS.


  • “You sure this isn’t a set-up?”
  • “We’re three minutes behind schedule, we need to move.”
  • “You’re a real people person, aren’t you?”
  • “What’s past is past. We’re working together now, let’s focus on the job.”
  • “Now, now. Not so fast.”
  • “I’m going to have fun breaking you.”
  • “Couldn’t leave well enough alone, could ya?”
  • “Fighting back is pointless, my friend.”
  • “You will be able to get me out of here, right?”
  • “On my list of priorities, that doesn’t even make my top five hundred.”
  • “If I was wearing that, I’d ask you to shoot me in the head.”
  • “What can I say? I’m good at my job.”
  • “Oh, is something the matter?”
  • “Oh, fuck you.”
  • “It wasn’t your fault.”
  • “Thank you. I mean it.”
  • “You’re not wearing pants.”
  • “Look, I’m just saying don’t get your hopes up.”
  • “Well, this has been a productive day.”
  • “I can kill a lot of people with a computer.”
  • “Oh, ___. We’re gonna get along famously.”
  • “You’re really making a big deal out of nothing.”
  • “If your aim was any worse, you’d be shooting yourself.”
  • “Look at us, killing everything in sight. Is this what being a sociopath feels like?”
  • “You’re remarkably calm right now.”
  • “Hey, sometimes your exes try to kill you, you know? What can you do?”
  • “Wanna party?”
  • “You’re lame now. You used to have fun.”
  • “You’re a terrible person.”
  • “You don’t have to convince me. Just yourself.”
  • “We’re talking about this later.”
  • “Nobody tells me anything!”
  • “You ready to get outta here?”
  • “Hey baby, I could show you a good time.”
  • “No one loses to me.”
  • “That’s far enough.”
  • “You know me too well.”
  • “Don’t you dare confuse duty with self righteousness!”
  • “Oooh. Sounds serious.”
  • “Let’s do this without drawing attention, yeah?”
  • “So an evil version of me is your worst nightmare?”
  • “_____. I thought you knew me better than that.”
  • “Why would I hide when I can kill your friends in front of you?”
  • “I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction.”
  • “Oooh, I love it when you talk tough.”
  • “Focus. On. The job.”
  • “Don’t like talking about your past?”
  • “Yeah, we should probably get out of here.”
  • “I have a feeling we’re about to disagree.”
  • “I can forgive a few punches.”
  • “You are really starting to piss me off.”
  • “______, what the hell happened?”
  • “It would seem your reputation doesn’t do you justice.”
  • “Can we just get to murdering already?”
  • “Whatever the plan was, it went out the fucking window. We need to focus on surviving.”
  • “Quit fucking around and get in here!”
  • “We had a deal, my friend.”
  • “Now what am I supposed to do with a naughty little boy/girl like you?”
  • “I’m trying to save your life!”
  • “I’m giving you a choice.”
  • “Get away from me!”
  • “Quite the entrance.”
  • “I figured you had a flair for the dramatic.”
  • “I’m really gonna miss these bonding sessions when I kill you.”
  • “Well, at least you’re honest.”
  • “This ain’t pride. This is wrath.”
  • “Hey _____, you wanna fuck?”
  • “You have to wait until I want it.”
  • “Been a hell of a ride, hasn’t it?”
  • “You’ve changed so much.”
  • “You’re not very convincing, you know.”
  • “Glad you didn’t find it awkward, but not really in the mood right now.”
  • “I really thought I lost you.”
  • “Look, I gotta tell you something.”
  • “Just shut up, I have to tell you something.”
  • “Nothing ever made me feel alive like you did.”
  • “I’ve been cooped up for way too long.”
  • “I need to stretch my legs and kill some things.”
  • “What’s on your mind?”
  • “Despite everything I’ve done with my life, apparently that’s what I’m known for.”
  • “I’ve done the planning part in the past and it’s boring. I rather just get in there and get shit done.”
  • “Look, I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m here now. Alive and kicking! That counts for something, right?”
  • “We’ve had some good times together, haven’t we?”
  • “You still wanna have a go?”
  • “Can I help you?”
  • “____, I respect you too much to bullshit you.”
  • “You don’t respect me.”
  • “What do you want?”
  • “I’m willing to forgive and forget if you are.”
  • “You ain’t getting close enough to shank me.”
  • “Give us a minute to recover from last time, yeah?”
  • “I don’t want things to change between us.”
  • “You never know if you can have something unless you ask for it.”
  • “It’s okay, say what’s on your mind.”
  • “I know you want to, but I don’t.”

【 50% OFF STARTER MEME 】

This starter meme is completely based off of THIS starter meme right here, it’s just in a different format to accommodate players with multiple accounts as opposed to just one!! I take no credit for it and if you want to appreciate the content, give the blog a follow, please!!

  • “You can’t have sex with your neighbor’s backyard above-ground pool.”
  • “Let me help you out of that swimsuit– POOL.”
  • “I sure hope we become best friends! But I don’t hope we have a falling out, leading us to have a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love/hate relationship later on.”
  • “So, anyways, I regain consciousness, there’s cops everywhere, (name) is covered in blood, got an ice-pick– haha, it was kind of a weird Tuesday.”
  • “We’re gonna be late for anime school!”
  • “I’m just saying, is it illegal if I’m in my OWN pool?”
  • “WHAT’S UP SLUTS?! GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON?!”
  • “(name) WAS A BITCH-ASS POSER.”
  • “Oh no, he’s hot when he’s sad!”
  • “This reminds me of prison. This reminds me of prison. This DEFINITELY reminds me of prison.”
  • “Look at that little pimp. He’s gonna grow up to be a prison ass mothafucka.”
  • “Let’s skip all the fluff and get to the part where we’re shirtless.”
  • “Homeboy looks like shark week, I ain’t messin’ with that.”
  • “It wasn’t a dream! We got arrested for trespassing! We went to JAIL!”
  • “Nah, man, we went to holding. There’s a big difference.”
  • “Yeah now we owe Easter Dave a favor– that is NOT a position you wanna be in.”
  • “Wouldn’t we have seen him around by now? I mean he is a bipedal shark-person.”
  • “I’VE GOT MACE!”
  • “Was macing us really necessary AFTER you remembered who we were?!”
  • “You took the fall for me and I said thank you.”
  • “I went to jail!”
  • “I spent 6 months at a correctional facility!”
  • “I stabbed a girl in the yard!”
  • “I think that guard you killed had a family!”
  • “Look at that majestic ass mothafucka. Like a dolphin or some shit. A dolphin with legs… and arms… and a jet pack.”
  • “BITCH GET IN THE POOL!”
  • “That’s how they do it in Australia.”
  • “20 bucks on jabber jaws.”
  • “Hey, man did you TiVo Glee last night?”
  • “I’m not allowed to watch Glee, my dad says it might turn me into something bad. A musical theater major.”
  • “Neither one of them even died!”
  • “They won’t let me back into sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’ and I 'have to leave’.”
  • “I have to tumblr this!”
  • “A guy with emotional issues who swims away his problems? Lady, that’s the whole team, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
  • “I ship them! And them!”
  • “They hate each other, but they also fuck each other!“
  • “Hey, we try not to get this part of the gym wet so whatever you’re doing is gonna have to stop.”
  • “So do you wanna come back to my place, listen to some Dave Matthews, and talk about my work out routine?”
  • “I wonder if that stuff I hid is still here? … Nah, cops probably took it.”
  • “Do you know? Do you know for sure? Because I don’t need another incident.”
  • “If I get out of this chair, I guarantee you’ll end up in one with wheels.”
  • “Okay. I’ll admit, I’m a little threatened.”
  • “‘Sup bitches!~”
  • “Aren’t you that guy who drowned a kid? And burned down that building?”
  • “Get back to it before you learn a lesson in post-war, urban torture practices.”
  • “Remember, snitches get stitches!”
  • “Shut up, you’re high as balls!”
  • “You’re just mad because mom and dad thought you were a girl for the first year of your life.”
  • “Right, son. And speaking of crushing disappointments—”
  • “Coach tried to get me to vandalize a police station again.”
  • “Good thing I wore my Heelies.”
  • “He’s so hot but so crazy! Which makes him even MORE hot!”
  • “Come on, let me get those digits baby!”
  • “It should be illegal to be that fine!”
  • “Oh, just basic addition and subtraction. He was subtracting from my profits so I’m going to add a few extra holes in him.”
  • “This doesn’t seem like the time for polka-renditions of Ke$ha songs.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go.”
  • “Yeah, I’ve seen him. He’s in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos.”
  • “Your arrest record is extensive… and amateur.”
  • “The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incarceration is insanity AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN’T PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH BLATANT DISREGARD FOR CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTION BAFFLES THE MIND.”
  • “I want that boy to be my bride!”
  • “Pilates will do that, man, works your core.”
  • “What are we waiting for? Let’s go bro! Let’s g’bro!”
  • “Wow, you sure said that.“
  • “WOOP! WOOP! Hold it, I’m gonna have to pull you over for exceeding recommended hotness.”
  • “One time, we went camping in the woods, I just left 'em there. Nobody found them for like 5 days. I don’t even think their families cared, kinda sad, really.”
  • “So, what you’re saying is, if they disappeared, no one would notice?”
  • “Well I’ve gotta go not talk to you anymore.”
  • “I learned how to swim the old fashioned way. When I was five my dad took me out to a lake and tossed me right in the water.”
  • “I’m so happy right now! — And it’s not just ‘cause I get to see you in a bunch of different swimsuits. Okay, I lied, I’m sorry, that’s mostly the reason.”
  • “SHE’S A WITCH! PUSH HER IN THE POOL!”
  • “Hey, I know you! You helped me smuggle some stuff out of the country! How’ve you been, kid?”

❂ ————– THE LION KING SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula? ’
’ I despise guessing games. ’
’ Oh, goody. ’
’ Yes. Well, forgive me for not leaping for joy. ’
’ When I’m King, what’ll that make you? ’
’ You’re so weird. ’
’ You have no idea. ’
’ Sing something with a little bounce in it. ’
’ I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts. ’
’ Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head… ’
’ Hakuna Matata. It’s our motto. ’
’ What’s a motto? ’
’ Nothing. What’s a motto with you? ’
’ Did I miss something? ’
’ Let me out! Let me out! ’
’ Please don’t eat me. ’
’ Whoa. Talk about your fixer-upper. ’
’ I can’t go back. What would it prove, anyway?  ’
’ You can’t change the past. ’
’ You said you’d always be there for me! But you’re not. ’
’ It’s because of me. It’s my fault. ’
’ Ahh, so you haven’t told them your little secret. ’
’ It’s not true. Tell me it’s not true. ’
’ No! It was an accident! ’
’ It’s your fault he’s/she’s dead. Do you deny it? ’
’ Then you’re guilty. ’
’ No, I’m not a murderer! ’
’ Friends? I thought he/she said we were the enemy. ’
’ Don’t ever do that again! Carnivores, ugh! ’
’ We’re pals, right? ’
’ I don’t wonder; I know. ’
’ The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. ’
’ I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away. ’
’ Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing. ’
’ Everything the light touches is our kingdom. ’
’ A king’s time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. ’
’ What’s happened to you? ’
’ You’re right, I’m not. Now are you satisfied? ’
’ You know you’re starting to sound like my father. ’
’ The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave. ’
’ So where are we really going? ’
’ Right. So how are we going to ditch the dodo? ’
’ It’s a tradition going back generations. ’
’ Well, when I’m king, that’ll be the first thing to go. ’
’ Well, in that case, you’re fired. ’
’ Nice try, but only the king can do that. ’
’ Your Majesty. I gravel at your feet. ’
’ Why do I always have to save your… Ahhh! ’
’ I know what I have to do. ’
’ Temper, temper. ’
’ I’ve been running from it for so long. ’
’ Ow! Jeez, what was that for? ’
’ It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. ’
’ Oh yes, the past can hurt. ’
’ But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it. ’
’ You see? So what are you going to do? ’
’ First, I’m gonna take your stick. ’
’ Good! Go on! Get out of here! ’
’ So you’d better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning. ’
’ Perhaps you shouldn’t turn your back on me. ’
’ I wouldn’t dream of challenging you. ’
’ Is that a challenge? ’
’ I’m afraid I’m at the shallow end of the gene pool. ’
’ There’s one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. ’
’ Pinned you again. ’
’ What’s going on? ’
’ Oh, dear, I’ve said too much! ’
’ Well, I’m brave. What’s out there? ’
’ All the more reason for me to be protective. ’
’ Well, I suppose you’d have found out sooner or later. ’
’ Just promise me you’ll never visit that dreadful place! ’
’ You run along now and have fun. ’
’ I wonder if its brains are still in there? ’
’ Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha! ’
’ Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom? ’
’ Puh. You can’t do anything to me. ’
’ Oh, my, my, my. Look at the sun. It’s time to go! ’
’ Hey! Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size? ’
’ I’m very disappointed in you. ’
’ You could have been killed! ’
’ You deliberately disobeyed me! ’
’ I was just trying to be brave like you. ’
’ I’m only brave when I have to be. ’
’ Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble. ’
’ Whoah. I guess even kings get scared, huh? ’
’ But you’re not scared of anything. ’
’ We were afraid it was somebody important. ’
’ Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder. ’
’ Yeah, be prepared! We’ll be prepared… for what? ’
’ Long live the king! Long live the king! ’
’ If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it? ’
’ If you tell me, I’ll still act surprised. ’
’ You are such a naughty boy/girl! ’
’ You hear that? If you ever come back, we’ll kill ya! ’
’ So it is with a heavy heart that I assume the throne. ’
’ That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. ’
’ You know, having a lion around might not be such a bad idea. ’
’ Ah, you’re an outcast! That’s great. So are we. ’
’ I’m telling you, kid: this is the great life. No rules, no responsibilities… ’
’ You mean a bunch of royal dead guys are watching us? ’
’ Come on, I just heard about this great place. ’
’ I’m surrounded by idiots. ’
’ I’m kinda in the middle of a bath. ’
’ So where are we going? It better not be anyplace dumb. ’
’ I’ll show you when we get there. ’
’ The waterhole? What’s so great about the waterhole? ’
’ You’re the king? And you never told us? ’
’ You don’t even know what I’ve been through! ’
’ I finally got some sense knocked into me. ’
’ Please have mercy, I beg you. ’
’ You don’t deserve to live. ’
’ Why should I believe you? Everything you ever told me was a lie. ’
’ This looks like a good spot to rustle up some grub. ’
’ I’ll make it up to you, I promise. ’
’ You got to put your past behind you. ’
’ When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world. ’
’ Bad things happen, and you can’t do anything about it. ’
’ There’s more to being a king than getting your way all the time. ’
’ I’m so hungry I could eat a whole zebra. ’
’ Listen kid: if you live with us, you’re gonna have to eat like us. ’
’ Come on, will you cut it out? ’
’ I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure. ’
’ What’s that supposed to mean, anyway? ’
’ I’m not the one who’s confused. ’
’ You don’t even know who you are! ’
’ This is just the way your father looked before he died. ’
’ So what’s the plan for getting past those guys? ’
’ No wonder we’re dangling at the bottom of the food chain! ’
’ Where is your hunting party? They’re not doing their job. ’
’ Then you have sentenced us to death! ’
’ Well, it sure is a surprise to see you… ’
’ Hakuna Matata. It means “no worries”. ’
’ These are rare delicacies. ’
’ You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. ’
’ You are more than what you have become. ’
’ How can I go back? I’m not who I used to be. ’
’ Will you stop following me? Who are you? ’
’ What’s going on here? Who’s the monkey? ’
Jealous-Scandalous-Idiot Love

Plot (Requested): Draco broke up with you, but he regretted it when you started hanging out too much with Blaise.

Warnings: Lots of Feelings.

Word Count: 897.

Author’s Note: If you want an imagine with your name, send me a request. English is NOT my first language, so if there are grammatical mistakes, you can text me and I’ll correct them. Thanks for the request darling. (◕‿◕✿) Hope you all like it. Xoxo.

It’s been a week since Draco broke up with you, but still you denied believing that. How could he believe that it was your fault that his father went to jail? Sure, you knew about the Dumbledore’s Army, but you’d never imagine that they’ll act against the Dark Lord, who’d says that Lucius would be involved.

Now, all you wanted to do was sit alone in the grass and wait for the last month of class to pass, so you could go home, far from your stupid ex boyfriend.

“Adel? What are you doing here? We’ve got class in a few minutes.”

You turned around to face your best friend, Blaise. He looked worried, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth sketching a smile.

“I know Blaise, I just…”

“Don’t want to go to class knowing that Malfoy is going to be there too, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Hear me, I know he’s mad at you, but he’s mad at everyone right now. What happened with his father… He’ll get over it and then he’ll come back to you. Don’t worry. In the min time, I’m here for anything you need.”

You smiled. It’s good to know you had someone to count with, and Blaise was actually a great option. When you’re with Draco, he’s too jealous to understand that you wanna hang around with your male friends, but now, you two were going to have time to catch up.

“Let’s go to class. You don’t want Snape to be forgive his favorite student in front of everyone.”

“Hey! Just because he likes me that doesn’t mean I get advantage.”

“I weren’t talking ‘bout you, I’m his favorite student.”

“A boy can dream.”, you joked and got up, going to potions class with him.

Two Weeks Later…

Draco hasn’t talked to you yet, but instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you decided to enjoy the last days of class. Blaise particularly was helping you a lot to get over the pain; he was always joking around you, making you laugh and forget your problems.

“Can you believe it? She actually tried to kiss me! I’m disgusted.”

Blaise was doing drama, cause a Ravenclaw girl tried to kiss him. You were laying in his lap, laughing at his unbelievable insensitivity.

“Poor girl, Zabini. She must be heartbroken right now.”

“Oh, come on, you don’t just try to force someone to kiss you.”

In that moment, Draco walked in, looking at you to and rolling his eyes. Of course, as you were laying in Blaise’s lap, you couldn’t see it, but your friend could, and being so tired of that uncomfortable situation between you and Malfoy, he decided to help (in a not so discreet way).

“I mean, I understand her, of course, who wouldn’t want to kiss me?” He asked at you. You lough.

“How can you be so full of yourself?”

“I don’t know, but you must like it right? You were with Draco.”

At the mention of his name, the blonde boy turned to you, clearly annoyed, but also curious to see what you were going to say next.

“And you think I like you because of that?”

“I’m sure.” Blaise looked at Malfoy and pretended to bow over you as he was going to kiss you. That was the last drop needed to Draco to freak out. He got up and leaded to the sofa, pulling you from Blaise.

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DO ZABINI?” He screamed.

“Relax man, I was doing what I had to.”

“What you had to? You were going to fucking kiss my girl!”

“Excuse me?” You asked, trying to do not smile at the fact that he just called you “his girl” and focusing in the overly possessive attitude.

“Last time I checked, Malfoy, you broke up with her for something that was not her fault. She’s not your girl.” Draco blushed. He was screaming in the middle of the Common Room, making a hell of a scene and at the end, he was the wrong. “But”, Blaise continued, “she misses you as much as I’m sure you miss her. So fix thinks, you fucking idiot.”

He left the room smiling. You and Draco faced each other for a time, till you let go of his grip and run away. He ran after you, reaching you at an empty hall.

“Adel, I’m sorry…”

“Malfoy, I’m not in the mood for an argument, ok?”

“I’m not going to argue with you. Listen, I just want to apologize for what I’ve done, not only in the Common Room right now, but weeks ago, I shouldn’t have blamed you for something you couldn’t know, and I really regret it, ok? Seeing Zabini there, ready to kiss you, that… I don’t know how to explain, I just couldn’t let that happens. I…”

“What, Draco?” You asked, trying to stop your heart from melting with his words.

“I can’t lose you, and I’m sorry. Forgive me, please. I need you, Adelaine.”

Sighing, you opened your arms and hugged him. Draco pressed you against his chest, berrying his nose on your hair.

“It’s ok, you scandal king.”

He lough, and kissed the top of your head.

“Whatever you want. Just keep in mind that makes you the Scandal Queen. And that you love me.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing that he couldn’t be more right.

INJUSTICE  2   SENTENCE  STARTERS. 

TRIGGER  MENTIONS : death, murder, threats, nsfw, gore, violence, and torment/torture.

  • ❝ They say that battle changes you. ❞ 
  • ❝ Your mind tricks won’t harm me. ❞ 
  • ❝ This sure is a funny way to show it. ❞ 
  • ❝ Your heartbeat says you’re lying. ❞ 
  • ❝ I took one life to save millions. ❞ 
  • ❝ Ready for some slapstick? ❞ 
  • ❝ Everyone has a price, even you. ❞ 
  • ❝ I don’t want to hurt you. ❞ 
  • ❝ Still trying to kill me? ❞ 
  • ❝ I need help testing some new gear. ❞ 
  • ❝ We both knew it would come to this. ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll try to make it painless. ❞ 
  • ❝ Today, we show the world that we are superior ❞ 
  • ❝ Good worlds are hard to come by. ❞ 
  • ❝ All screamed out?  ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll claw my way out, never back me into a corner. ❞ 
  • ❝ Hit me like you mean it, hero.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Come on, lift up that mask  ❞ 
  • ❝ You know, we’re both getting too old for this.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Let me guess… I’m going back to jail.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Those rumors are greatly exaggerated. ❞ 
  • ❝ Don’t you get tired of shooting people?  ❞ 
  • ❝ Let’s kill you and see where that gets us. ❞ 
  • ❝ When did I get on your bad side?  ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll sell your organs and your spare parts. ❞ 
  • ❝ Shoot yourself and spare me the trouble.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Maybe someone can teach you to shut up. ❞ 
  • ❝ I really don’t like being told what to do.  ❞ 
  • ❝ I think you’ll find it hard to hit me, chum.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Stop tryin’ to kill me, will ya ❞ 
  • ❝ Let nature run its course.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Did I mention I’m poison ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll spit on your grave.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Hope you don’t mind a few scars. ❞ 
  • ❝ A little torture wasn’t gonna break me.  ❞ 
  • ❝ You would have whipped them into submission. ❞ 
  • ❝ Violence will reveal your true nature. ❞ 
  • ❝ What’s the other one gonna be busy with?  ❞ 
  • ❝ You are nothing without your powers! ❞ 
  • ❝ There’s no other reason for you to be here. ❞ 
  • ❝ You want anger? I’ve got anger ❞ 
  • ❝ Insects and humans are much the same.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Now that I’m out, your days are numbered.  ❞ 
  • ❝ I hope you brought more than insults. ❞ 
  • ❝ You had any sense, you’d go home.  ❞ 
  • ❝ That’s a good way to get yourself killed. ❞ 
  • ❝ Uh, I kinda have dibs on the whole red thing.   ❞ 
  • ❝ You gotta commit to being a hero. ❞ 
  • ❝ That’s kind of a thing with you isn’t it? ❞ 
  • ❝ You know what… let’s skip the interrogation. ❞ 
  • ❝ A bit of brain-bashing would be relaxing…  ❞ 
  • ❝ C'mon, give a girl / guy a break, will ya ❞ 
  • ❝ You’re all business and no pleasure.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Couldn’t you be intimidated, just this once? ❞ 
  • ❝ I have rocked up an impressive kill count.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Your interest sounds more than professional.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Aren’t you the least bit curious ❞ 
  • ❝ It doesn’t matter what I feel for you.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Loyalty was never your strength. ❞ 
  • ❝ You won’t joke once I have your tongue.  ❞ 
  • ❝ So you’re just one more thug with a gun. ❞ 
  • ❝ Yeah, that dream was really not safe for work.  ❞ 
  • ❝ As long as I live and breath, I fight evil doers.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Could you be any more melodramatic?  ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll give you something to fear.  ❞ 
  • ❝ You can tap out if you wanna  ❞
New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”