i mean they did but still

prompt from @sanvers-cuddles “Idk I’m just so hurt, so maybe something about Maggie wanting to run but Alex being there for her and idk just something happy. I’m too broken for anything else” (it’s angsty, as per your prompt, but I promise it has a happy ending and is super, super soft!!!) and @obsessivesarcasticgayliving “Reassurance that it’s ok to take care of yourself first and that the world won’t end because you do, and the people that you didn’t help right away are still going to be ok.”


She’s on the drunk side of tipsy when Alex’s key scrapes her apartment door.

She’s on the drunk side of tipsy and the bottle of scotch is next to her like a water bottle and her wrists are wrapped and she’s slamming into her heavy bag with old school Linkin Park slamming in her eardrums, in her walls, in her bones.

Alex doesn’t ask, and she doesn’t interrupt.

But she does close the bottle of scotch and replace it with a glass of water. Maggie glances at her and maybe glares slightly, but she goes back to her punch combinations, her switch kicks, her keeping on her toes and cascading her emotional pain into physical pain.

Alex sits silently on the couch, and Alex watches.

“Rotate your hips more on that last combination, Sawyer,” she observes after a few long minutes, shouting slightly to be heard over the music.

“I don’t need DEO tips, Danvers,” Maggie parries before slamming everything she has into the bag for a solid thirty seconds, grunting in frustration and exertion and pent-up rage being let loose, her cool being let out of its carefully sealed container. She switches off the music and looks around for what Alex did with the scotch bottle futilely before shrugging and chugging the water.

“Good workout?” Alex asks, and Maggie grunts something unintelligible as she pants her way to the sink for more water.

“Tough day?”

“Doesn’t matter, Danvers. How was yours? Heard one of your old nemeses came back, one of the former Fort Rozz prisoners?”

Alex shrugs. “Wasn’t a bad fight. Kara handled him easily. What about you?”

“What about me, Alex?”

“Are you going to tell me – “

“No! You know what, no, I’m not, because you know what, Alex, it never changes anything. Telling you about my parents? They still hate me, but you know what it did do? Made me think about it more, made me feel it again. Telling you about Emily? I’m still an asshole, but you know what it did do? Make me remember what a runner I am, made me realize I haven’t changed all that much, that I still can’t trust people, I still can’t – “

“Did you cheat on me?” Alex stands, her voice low and soft and just this side of broken.

“What? No,” Maggie answers, her face so open, so apologetic, so surprised at the question, that Alex feels an odd stirring of pride in her gut. That it might occur to Maggie to be terrified, but it wouldn’t occur to her to implode them – implode herself – like that.

Or at least, that’s what Alex hopes it means.

“I just…” She heaves a sigh and she chugs more water and she roughly undoes her wrist wraps.

“I’m scared, Alex. And I hate telling anyone I’m scared. I just… I kissed you because I almost died, and I told you I want a lifetime of firsts with you because you almost died, and you asked me to marry you because the entire damn planet almost died, and I just… how many times can I almost lose you? Wouldn’t it be better to leave than to watch… because it’ll happen. Inevitably. One of us. Both of us. And I can’t… Alex, I can’t lose you.”

Alex stares at her, tears mixing with her sweat, now, and nods slowly as she walks around the couch to stand in front of her, tentative, like she’s approaching a wounded deer.

“You can’t lose me, so you’re tempted to… leave me?”

“Tempted? No, Alex, there’s… there’s nothing I want more than I want you, I just…”

“You’re scared.”

“I’m terrified.” Her voice cracks and Alex’s heart cracks along with it. She reaches for Maggie’s hands and Maggie barely hesitates before taking them and pulling Alex closer into her, sweat-soaked tank be damned.

“Then be terrified with me. Figure things out with me. You… Maggie, the world’s not going to end if you let yourself heal. If you let me help you heal. The world’s not gonna end if you take care of yourself, if you let someone – let me – take care of you. Together. You don’t have to run, Maggie, and we can take our time. Fuck marriage, screw all that, we can just… we can have our firsts, and we don’t have to call them anything, I just… Maggie, you’re in pain. You’re in pain and you think that if you shut it down, it’ll make it better, but that’s the opposite of what you always tell me to do. So now I’m telling you: you can take care of yourself instead of burying it. You can let me – and all our friends, they love you, too, Maggie – let us take care of you.”

Maggie chokes down a sob and she steps back – a big step back, and both of their bodies keen from the loss of contact, but if she stays that close to her, she’ll surrender, and god, she can’t, she can’t, she won’t. 

Because she can’t do that to her. Not to Alex.

“But that’s just the thing, Alex: I don’t want you to have to take care of me. You found your father again, and then you lost him in such an awful, awful way. You were kidnapped, you were tortured, you were seconds away from dying. Your sister almost got launched across the universe, you almost blew your sister up. You need to be taken care of right now, Alex, you need to be focused on. And if I make you focus on me, make the others take care of me – Winn and Kara are both just getting out of abusive relationships, James is just figuring out how to be himself and a superhero… it’s selfish, Alex, to ask all of you to drop all that and take care of… me.”

“But it’s not, Maggie. You deserve to be loved, you deserve to take care of yourself, and sometimes, that’s letting people in. The world won’t end, Maggie, and we’ll all be fine. There’s enough love between us all to go around, trust me. Can you do that? Can you trust me? Instead of leave me?”

Maggie stares up at her for a long, long moment, and Alex tentatively steps back into her space. 

“You know your pout is even more effective than Kara’s, right?”

“Well where do you think she got it from?”

Maggie smiles, and it lights up her entire tear-stained face as she pulls Alex down for a hard, desperate, loving, loving, loving, kiss.

“It figures that Supergirl learned how to be a hero from the best hero there is.”

Alex smiles and shakes her head through her own tears.

“That’s you, Maggie Sawyer. That’s you.”

She kisses her again, and they start to walk each other toward the bathroom, toward the shower, but Alex pauses and breaks the kiss, a grin forming on her slightly swollen lips.

“Did you just imply that Kara’s pouts are one of Supergirl’s assets as a hero?”

“Clearly no enemy’s ever pouted at you while you’re trying to arrest them. We need to expand your repertoire, Danvers.”

Alex laughs, and it’s breathy and heady and so, so relieved.

“I love you, Maggie. I’m always going to love you.”

“I’m always going to love you too, Alex Danvers.”

And she will. God, god, god, she will.

Prayer request

I’m just having a lot of weird random pains, and I don’t know why? The main two are my hand and foot, they sting when water touches them and I have no clue why? Prayers that I’ll be able to sleep and that everything out feel better in the morning would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!

I did this before my exams started so I could upload it today. And about not making anything for you. I lied. Sorry. I wanted to make a surprise. I hope you like it!

You mean so much to me, and I’m sooo glad I met you. You were the first friend I ever made here, and I’m happy that we still are. You’re more than a friend to me. You’re part of my family. My lovely and adorable Big Sister!

I hope you have a lovely day sweetie!

Love you ~

@little-noko

Blind Date

Summary: Mickey is home from Mexico, and Mandy sets him up on a blind date. Ian is also on a blind date. When they see each other, they leave their guys, and rekindle their love.

Word Count: 1990

Notes: This was so cute!!


Ever since his name got cleared in the United States, he wanted to come home from Mexico, and after a phone call with Mandy, they were planning to meet up and get the hell home.

About a week into being home, Mandy had already set her brother up on a blind date. The man she set him up with was her ex-boyfriend’s brother, and damn, she thought he was a looker.

Mickey complained and tried to protest, but Mandy wasn’t having it. Mickey needed some dick in his life, it’s way overdue, and though he won’t outwardly admit that, he knew it was true.

Keep reading

2,000 followers hhhhh

still a pretty far cry from my 17k on youtub but hey i mean shit. lol

seriously thank you guys so much. i did not expect my weird goat landscapes and stuff to resonate with anyone. you know, for a good while i was getting like 8 notes per post and wondering what the fuck i was even doing here, so it’s been kind of a nice surprise. i actually can’t even keep up with asks anymore, especially for the office deer baby thing. every time i answer a bunch i get a bunch more back and my inbox has been stuck at 40 messages for like the last month (so please don’t get upset if i don’t answer or if i take forever).

so thanks to everyone who likes and reblogs and follows and asks questions and everything else. i love you.

[song!]

anonymous asked:

Omg so I have a shipper friend (she's not a Jikook shipper tho) who once mentioned something about how people who haven't done "the do" would still be shy to initiate bodily contact. like they are still trying to size each other up etc. but nowadays we've stopped seeing JK backing away/flinching from any of JM's skinship/touches??? Like he used to flinch REALLY HARD didn't he??? Lmao does this mean what I think it means (Kind of reach tho. just wanted to share this with you bcs ily)

(omg thanks for sharing ily2)

Tbh, I feel like if jikook were to be dating, they most likely have had intercourse by now. And like jungkook did use to flinch hard around jimin, but I think it was more of a nerves thing… idk if he did it with other members, but I think it had to do with more than just jimin. I do think that once ppl r more comfortable in a relationship, they are able to be closer and they relax around each other. the thing is, though, jungkook doesn’t flinch anymore but he still gets nervous around jimin and it’s really cute. 

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

like he looks so awkward just with jimins arm around him?? and then once jm touched his hand he got really shy. idk i think jungkook is just naturally shy and gets cautious around people. not doubting theyve done the do though tbh 👀 

(i have no idea where my answer was going im so sorry 😩 i tried to make it comprehensible but its messy , i couldn’t organize my thoughts…)

dorkysandwich  asked:

I'm still curious about toka and kaneki's relationship 😶, but touka got embrassed (throw away her face) when kaneki said that he will always remember her.. aren't they such a lovers? Why did touka still call him with "kaneki" not "Ken" instead?? I'm feeling uneasy with them😶😶😶

I think you are overreacting a bit… the sex was rushed but that doesn’t mean they will rush everything else.. they’re still learning how to behave towards each other as lovers, they were friends for so long, giving that next step must feel weird.. when you’re horny and naked you don’t really think about that but the awkwardness starts out of bed, just give them some time 

anonymous asked:

BRO WHAT HAPPENED TO ZERO??? HE WAS SO SASSY AND I MEAN I FEEL LIKE HE STILL HAS IT IN HIM BUT WHERE DID THAT ZERO GO?? ALSO MAN I KIND OF FORGOT THAT HE USED TO TALK SO FORMAL IF THEY HAD HOME VIDEOS OR SOMETHING NAT WOULD BE DYING

lmao puberty happened.

but tbh over the years Zero has just become naturally more reserved and to himself. when you’re a kid you have less problems and you’re more inclined to just blurt out whatever’s on your mind without thinking so he was more outspoken that way.

he pulled back a lot during his middle school years and preferred to keep shit to himself because for him it was just like “why bother?”. having said that, Zero really is a touch and go type of person.. like he won’t let anyone bully or push him around but in the same breath it’s difficult for him to defend himself where it matters the most aka expressing his personal feelings.

i WILL say though that his relationship with Matt has shifted MULTIPLE times till now. we’ve always seen him kind of snap back at Matt whenever Matt would go too far with shit because for a long time he never actually feared him rather just seen him as an asshole. by the time he got to college Zero was already unfazed by a lot of Matt’s antics and seen it as the usual like.. “Matt’s just being Matt again” and would brush it off to go about his business instead of choosing to argue about it. like when you’ve known someone for that long you know when to just stop caring about little shit and not letting it bother you anymore.

having said that, their dynamic after becoming intimate has changed. for starters, Matt eased up a lot and has had more patience with Zero than he’s ever willing to give with someone else. he’s put up with Zero’s issues countless times because of course he loves him and Zero himself had gotten used to that. after all the mess that happened over holiday break we’ve seen Matt kind of revert back his natural self like.. “fuck this” because he was genuinely hurt and felt like he was being taken for a ride. 

that day when Zero tried to talk to him for the first time after avoiding him for months.. Matt really lost his shit and it took a lot for him to not just punch Zero in the face if i’m being honest. when Matt threatened him it was a wake up call to Zero like like “holy shit.. this guy could potentially hurt me and it doesn’t matter who i am”. like he’s well aware what Matt is capable of. ever since then he’s had this mild fear in his heart about him and it makes Zero unease so much. that’s why now it looks like he’s always pussying out a situation to confront Matt or even be in the same room with him because of that fear that’s been created.

also about his speech. loll yeah, Zero has become less formal and that’s really because of the time spent among the rest of his social class over the years. the less he’s around his parents the more he tends to be himself and loosen up. you can tell he’s still more formal than everyone else but it’s like a mixture of both.. i’m gonna try to find his voice claim soon ;-;

anonymous asked:

What do you think about Yuzuru's and Shoma's choice of music for next season?

ride or die, bros that recycle together stay together

i mean, we don’t know what yuzuru’s fs is yet, but i’m not excited for him to bring ballade back for a third season, even if it’s a good program. i think he already did everything he could with it. maybe he could change the music cuts, tweak the choreo…but it’s still the same piece of music and if you’re going to spend time rechoreographing it, why not just make another program to different music instead? but considering that so many other skaters are also recycling old programs for the olympics, it’s…a strategy, i guess. not really a strategy i approve of, but that’s just me. i hope his fs will be new, at least.

shoma picked some of the warhorsiest warhorses, which means he has to work that much harder to overcome my trepidation. four seasons has the potential to be good, i like the little bits we’ve seen of it so far. (it also helps that even though there are 34636354 four seasons programs, i don’t like/remember most of them, so the bar is already set low for me.) i hope he’s going for a darker interpretation, that might be interesting. turandot is…well, he already confirmed it will have new music cuts and new choreo and essentially be a different program from the first, so i’ll wait and see how it goes. not excited about this choice either, but again, it seems to be the prevalent strategy for next season. he says he wants to show how much he’s grown by using it again, but i’m afraid that it might be seen as a step backwards instead.

basically, i’ll give the programs a chance, but i think both skaters are capable of more than this.

anonymous asked:

Nice note for thb! My group had to go on planetside without me and that really sucks because I dont have other friends. I was eating alone and apparently I looked really sad bc they invited me to eat with them and kept inviting me to hang out with them and even let me talk about some stuff I've had bottled up for a while. I know they probably just did it because they feel sorry for me, but it still means a lot to me. Thanks guys! Youre good people and I hope we can be friends!- Cam the regulator

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Noticing and appreciating improvement with BPD

Today in therapy I learned something that completely blew my mind, so maybe it’s just me but I thought I’d share🙂

I have BPD and I started getting good treatment nearly exactly one year ago. Today we talked about what changed, what got better, what improved. And as I thought about it and we talked I realized that I cut down cigarettes from 35 to 10 a day and I got from cutting almost every day to once every 6-8 weeks. But I did not see that. What I saw was that I still cut and I still smoke. Which is right, but I beat myself up about it without being proud of myself for improving even if I’m not where I want to be yet.

I hope that this makes any fucking sense at all, I have trouble putting it in words.
I mean, I know that depressive episodes will probably belong to my life forever. So I have to start giving myself credit for getting through it alive and managed to cope without hurting myself instead of blending that out and focusing on that I was depressive again, I was suicidal again. Yeah, I was. And I probably will be again. But I definitely improved in getting through it in a healthier way than i used to.

My therapist was so so excited as I realized that and finally allowed myself to see the good in the bad. I needed my time for that. But maybe someone reads and can realte☺ hope y'all have a good day!❤

anonymous asked:

Just letting you know that I contacted Lauren, Santos, Tim, and DreamWorks about the leaks on twitter. I gave them the URL of the leaker as well as tumblr blogs that still has some leaks on it. If we're lucky DreamWorks will cancel Voltron due to some violation of the contract. Everything will be under control real soon.

uhhhhhh did you mean will not cancel voltron ? I dont want this show to be canceled my guy its literally one of the most important things in my life rn

anonymous asked:

Hello! I mean no disrespect or harm when I ask this, because I'm still trying to learn more about DID. But when it comes to dating someone with that illness, do the alters all recognize that person as their partner or no? Again I apologize if I come off as rude or ignorant.

Don’t worry, you’re fine! I don’t mind questions from people just wanting to understand DID better.

And to answer your question: Oh boy lemme tell you, the answer is usually no. I mean, all systems are different and I’m sure some have this issue as less relevant to them, but I think this is a more commonly relatable experience than not because alters can function at different ages, with different memories, experiences, even different orientations. 

So not-so-fun story because I have some personal experience from this: before I even knew I had DID, I was an unintentionally HORRIBLE person to be in a relationship with because I’d switch to alters who wouldn’t know my partner at the time who would behave very differently around them which created a lot of issues and the person I was dating at the time would be extremely stressed not able to keep up with my rapid shifting preferences/boundaries/memories of them as a person. I couldn’t keep up with myself either and just had no idea what was going on so I was pretty stressed and miserable over everything too. Literally (like actually literally), I’d come to one day to find out I apparently broke up with the person I was dating whom I liked a lot at the time with no explanation for why I did that. A few years later I learned it was because an alter that didn’t know them took over and was equally confused as to why they were in a relationship. Said person would be baffled and upset at me when I suddenly would try to talk to them again due to not knowing/understanding why I had done that or even what I had done so it was a pretty bad mess.  (@ my high school ex who won’t read this, I’m SO sorry I wish I could apologize to you properly.)

It’s definitely manageable now because a lot of us know to communicate with each other, and upon becoming aware of the existence of different parts, generally if a specific alter doesn’t consider themselves in a relationship with a person, they’ll respect that other alters are. 

Usually if a person dates someone with DID, they will have to accept that they will not have the same relationship with every alter, and being explicit and verbal about boundaries is so important. For example, someone may be dating the host, but that 10 year old kid alter is going to have very different boundaries, and that person has to be willing to accommodate those changes and also be patient to take time to get to learn about the different parts as they meet them and what their different relationships to said person will be. 

I won’t get into it further since a lot of people with DID have different ways of approaching the situation of dating and some have more or less and even different challenges than others, but I hope that answers your question well enough.

weird lotf questions i have

-where did the choir boys’ capes go after the first chapter

-why did Jack have a hunting knife in the first place and how in heck was it allowed on the plane

-why is ‘63 movie Simon blonde (I mean he’s adorable but still)

-how did Jack not get horribly sunburned by the end

-if Samneric were girls would they be Samnella

-how does Jack know how to properly clean a kill

-why is Simon so friggin pure

-did they screw up the 90′s movie on purpose or

-how is this fandom still alive after 63 years

Fairy Tail ch.537 spoiler

Everybody is just like yeah mavis & zeref got their happy end mashima did a good job.
am I the only one who cried when they died? I mean well yes they are happy in after life or whatever but I wanted them to be alive. I expected them to die, but still they were precious charas to me & I really loved them the whole time and could always understand their actions. They are my otp since I know them. Maybe I am getting this all wrong but I have the feel nobody is actually sad they died.
But because of their death I am not worried about Natsu, bc it’s a fact macarov died, but he came back after zervis’ death, means that must’ve kinda healt him. And Natsu decided to be human anyway, so I believe he is no demon any longer since this last wave wasn’t death but live. I hope since mashima killed zervis, he may make nalu canon next chapter. That would be nice…
I know my opinion is strange, but rn I am just sad.

anonymous asked:

I was talking to a friend recently about destiel, and i made the same comment you did about them still having a little ways to go before they're in a good place for that. My friend thought for a minute and then shrugged and said "Maybe they don't have to have *everything* cleared up. Same with the ""brodependency""; no one has zero issues, so maybe they don't have to be issue-free in order to get to the next point in life. Some things are just always a part of you."

Oh yeah, I mean nobody ever achieves “perfection” like that. But Cas still has some MAJOR unresolved things he has to deal with. Like, who he is as a person (or angel, or ex-angel, or whatevertheheck he is). That’s a real big biggie.

And seeing as how he’s currently dead being used by Jack the Nephilim, in whatever way you prefer to think of his current state of “mind control” or whatever hold it is Jack has over him, that has to be overcome first, you know?

And Dean is FINALLY in place to see what Cas is going through from this perspective of having achieved that personal resolution over his entire past with Mary, that sense of forgiveness and having got the weight off his shoulders of everything he always felt he had to be at the expense of anything he may have ever wanted to be.

Because Dean HAS witnessed Cas be used like this over and over again…

  • in 4.20 when he returned from “Bible Camp” completely “reprogrammed” for the first time
  • in 5.22 when he returned to heaven out of a sense of duty to play sheriff to the rest of the angels
  • in s6, first through his plans to save heaven by raiding purgatory, and then through the aftereffects of having swallowed all those souls, his godstiel power trip, and then being controlled by the leviathan
  • in 7.17 finding Emmanuel who has no memories of who he was or what he’d done
  • in s8 being controlled by Naomi and then dragged around as the protector of the Angel Tablet
  • in s9 being manipulated by Metatron, first stealing his grace and rendering him human, then being forced by Gadreel to keep away from poor human Cas, then being manipulated by Metatron into becoming his foil in the angelic wars again…
  • in s11 being so depressed and traumatized that he would say yes to Lucifer, feeling that was all he was useful for
  • in s12 feeling even MORE guilt over having freed Lucifer who was still on the loose, and the creation/birth of Jack the nephilim
  • and then in 12.19 just when Cas is beginning to feel like he might actually be on the verge of securing ONE GOOD WIN for himself, Jack grabs his hand and mind whammies him into being his guardian…
  • and then in 12.23… well… 

That was all off the top of my head. Did I miss anything there? I feel like I probably did.

But the fact that Cas has been used in this specific way (through reprogramming/mind control in various forms) seems to keep emphasizing his angelic nature. We know that Naomi claimed to have “reprogrammed” him far too many times, in her opinion. And each instance of “brainwashing” or possession or control by outside forces seems to be just another metaphorical iteration of that specific vulnerability of angels.

Especially of angels who would otherwise have a tendency to express dangerous emotions, or “doorways to doubt.” Because angels are supposed to be obedient, they’re supposed to follow orders. They’re not supposed to express their own ideas or have free will. Yet Cas seems to find himself in just that sort of predicament over and over again…

For once, Dean will have a chance to see Cas in thrall to Jack, to see Cas turned into the “sock puppet” Dean described at the beginning of 12.20, without feeling personally responsible for Cas being in that state.

Dean doesn’t have to feel guilty about Cas being “sock puppeted” this time. But you can damn well believe he’s gonna do whatever it takes to help Cas break free of it.

dlartistanon  asked:

Akko should channel Kamina and tell Diana "Believe in me who believes in you!"

holy SHIT

I mean she basically did heehee~ Not as explicitly but I think Diana gets the gist~

(Also holy shit thank you for all of your adorable Dianakko art blessings ;w; I still love that one you did forever ago I go back to just stare at it a lot tbh it’s so fucking CUTE)

xxwatupxx  asked:

Wouldnt techincally cherry quartz be gigantic like sugilite? because I mean steven is still a quartz , more or less likely stronger than ame in a sense, so would it be a big fusion? (Im going off the lil' drawing you did of them with opal)

I guess so yeah! TBH I have no set heights for my fusions, someone else pointed out that Cherry seemed too small.