i mean seriously how cute

Aliens are so used to humans wanting to pet the most deadliest creatures they find because PUPPER that they have prepared on every ship with a human crewmate. They have human sitting duties and at least 2 chaperones when going planet-side, just in case they get any ideas.

Then a crew gets a human for the first time and it’s everything like what the Human Care Manual says. The human is loud, but pleasant, always joke around with the crew and was tremendous during that Flokkut Raid on Sector 6. The human even brought a camera with it to take pictures on the ship (it’s bigger than most, downright obnoxious in shape to some of the crew, but the human is happy with it, and a happy human is a bonded human)

So then they go down to a planet, letting the human explore with his chaperones. After walking for a while the group stumbles on a herd of Dwetts, elks with fish eyes and flippers. The aliens sigh cause it was bound to see creatures sooner or later, and turn to give Acceptable Reason #6 from the manual, when the human disappeared! They freak out because how did the human leave??? Does it have invisibility??? That wasn’t part of the manual!! But they hear their human saying “guys, stop moving! You’re going to upset them!”

They look down to see the human lying on his stomach looking through his camera, taking pictures. They were shocked, but did as they were told and sat down. For hours they watched the human taking photos, being as quiet as still as possible. This couldn’t be the same human??

When the human was done, it got up, stretched, and headed back for the ship. The chaperones followed suit. When they got back the captain was surprised that they returned without a creature (even with 2 chaperones, he suspected that the human would win anyway) but was astonished to hear what had happened.

“You didn’t want to take one as these ‘pets’ for the ship??”

“No???? Why would I? They aren’t domesticated, they need space to live which the ship wouldn’t supply.”

“But aren’t they cute in human terms?”

“I mean, I would say more interesting than cute. But seriously, how would we take care of it? How to feed it, groom it, keep away from all the sensitive equipment? It would be dangerous for us and it if we take one from the wild. You really want one that badly?”

“Wha- No! It’s just…you seemed to like them?”

“I mean yeah, it’s a new animal species, and I did take pictures, but not as long as I hoped for. Honestly you have to look at the ecosystem here before getting any animals on board.”

The captain immediately notified the Human Care Committee that their section on animal bonding does not apply to human subclass professional wildlife photographer

I want every classmate to be best friends with every single other classmate… brotp?? brot3?? Forget that, gimme the brot15 with every single kid in this class please

It makes me sad that a lot of guys don’t like being called cute because like… cute is such a great thing! If I’m calling you cute it means that that thing you just did makes me so warm and fuzzy inside that I could just admire you all day.

witchofthesouls  asked:

Anymore thoughts or ideas about rearing the sea pups or Roddy JR? It sounds like you have an idea about mating/carrying cycles in the seaformers.



✦ After the mating season ends and couple (or more) have gotten together, it’s time for the sire(s) and carrier(s) a place to search for a place where they can mate and lay eggs. The preferred spots for seaformers to lay their eggs are secluded beaches or hidden beach caves since these are guaranteed to be safe places for a carrier to dig a nest and lay their clutch. The most optimal places for a clutch to be laid is somewhere warm with lots of soft sand to protect the eggs from the weather and possible predators that could be roaming about. It takes about two months for the eggs to incubate and during this progress, its easy to tell if the eggs are ‘duds’ or not from the eggs not getting warmer or shifting under the touch of the parents when inspecting it to the egg’s lovely sand coloured shell fading to a sickly yellow hue.

✦ CROC has had to yell these warnings into people’s ears several times to get through their thick skulls: Do not attempt to find nests of seaformers’ eggs. Do not attempt to take pictures or investigate any nests if found. Do not, for the love of all things sweet and holy, attempt to touch or move any eggs whatever the reason maybe. Chances are their parents are around, just out of sight for the humans, and the parents will attack those who they deem a threat to their nest and pups. There have been documented reports of humans being attacked by protective seaformers for incidents like these and CROC always, always, has to do a yearly presentation and campaign of reminding people to please respect seaformers’ right for privacy after mating season has finished. Please use common sense so you get to keep all your limbs where they should be.

✦ After the pups have been hatched, the first few months are crucial to the babies and the parents since this is the time for them to establish their bond. Scenting and skin on skin contact are important in this stage, helping the pups learn who they can trust and depend on. It’s considered poor etiquette for another seaformer to attempt to scent or touch a pup when they’re this young as it can focus the little one on who their sirbluearrier is, thus muddling the bonding process. What I’m trying to say is that I hope the liaison is ready to be wet 24/7 during this crucial stage as they’ll be spending a lot of time in the waters or holding a wet pup in their arms.

✦ Usually the pups take the appearance of their sire though the colouring maybe drastically different thanks to the carrier’s influence on them. If either sire or carrier is an outlier - a seaformer who has special abilities that most seaformers do not have like Skids’ ability to learn anything or a siren’s singing or mimicking capabilities - it’s always guaranteed that the pup will also gain those abilities too. (Thankfully its been noted by CROC and other research facilities that if a sire or carrier has been forced to go under empurata, it doesn’t seem to hold a negative effect on the pups when they’re laid and hatched.)

✦ Pups are unable to speak until they reach a year old, communicating through a series of peeps and chirrs and squeaks. Along with a dash of body language that they may pick up from their parents like how a parent would twitch their fins a certain way or how an adult would slap their tail for whatever reason. Pups seem fond of papping their hands in a quick succession in order to get adult seaformers’ attention or expressing their like/dislike for something, using a mixture of happy/angry peeps and chirrs to show how they feel about the object in question. Pups’ first words often are the words they hear the most around them so its advised to keep any salty language from being used around the babies during this stage of development.

✦ Pups are also unable to ‘transform’ - meaning the ability to change their body’s adaptability from surviving in the waters to the lands and vice versa - for five human years. This is probably due to the fact their body’s physiology is still adapting to being in water and it’ll be too much work/shock for the systems to try and also adapt to land environment at the same time. If one attempts to bring a pup to the lands for an extended amount of time, for whatever reason they have to do that, the seaformer will need to make sure the pup’s skin is nice and damp so it doesn’t crack or tear due to eventual dryness. Swaddling the pup in strips of wet cloths or towels or seaweed is encouraged.


✦ In that awkward size of being bigger than a regular human baby but considered small for a seaformer pup. They’ll eventually grow to the size fo a regular seaformer but, for the time being, they are a teeny tiny thing who can curl up into a loafpup if they so desire. It’s distressingly easy to lose the pup sometimes with how small they are and how often they like to play hide and seek with their babysitters and parents. (The liaison will also never forget the day they popped out Rodimus Junior’s egg. It was the size of a freaking cantaloupe and it was considered smaller than the average egg to the poor human’s horror when speaking with the medics of the Lost Light pod. It’s a good reason why Rodimus Junior is going to be a single child for a very, very long time if the liaison has anything to say about it.)

✦ Rodimus Junior has very fragile health in the earlier stages of their life. Being a hybrid of a seaformer and a human, his constitution is a strange mixture of both their immune systems and it takes them a while to adjust to their specific needs of water and land. As a result Junior is very dependent on Rodimus and the liaison for the first few months with how small and fragile their build is, often kept with one of the parents to ensure they’re safe and sound. Over time Rodimus Junior becomes an adventurous and curious pup after their health stabilises, often attempting to leave the cay to investigate the nearby sea stumps and arches that surround the cay and attempt to follow the liaison home to Crystal Coast when they have to leave.

✦ Everyone in the pod is very protective of the pup since there’s a real possibility that Rodimus Junior is one of the first pups to be born during this Age of New Peace. Perhaps the first since news of a pup being born is kind of a big deal with the dwindling population of the Cybertronian seaformers. All those in the pod go out of their way to be nice to the little pup, willing to indulge them in games and activities to ensure they’re a healthy and happy baby. Even Getaway has been noted to be act nicer around Rodimus Junior even if he has Thoughts and Opinions about their name. Drift is constantly fussing over the pup if they so much as sneeze or sniffle and Ratchet has to resist the urge to slap Drift with hist tail for causing the parents to be anxious in return. Everyone is trying okay? They want the pup happy.

✦ Favourite sitters include Ultra Magnus, Drift, and Megatron for a variety of reason. Ultra Magnus for the fact he’s huge meaning fun rides in the deeper parts of the cay and is one of the best groomers in the pod. Drift because he’s so gentle and sweet to the pup, telling him fantastical stories of his adventures and of an amazing seaformer who went by Wing. Megatron is a surprise to everyone, even Megatron himself who is nervous of being left in charge of the pup’s welfare, but Rodimus Junior loves his stories and poetries that he reads aloud to the pup when attempting to get the little one to sleep. Ratchet would be included in this list but alas he’s their doctor and gives them their dreaded checkups so he’s out for the count. Brainstorm and Whirl used to babysit the pup but after the Cannon Incident and Wrecker Pup Incident the two are banned from being alone with the pup.

✦ CROC is sloooowly making headway in convincing the pod to allow the liaison to bring Rodimus Junior back to the centre for studies. Slooooowly is the word that must be noticed, emphasise and shot up in the sky because no one in the centre has even gotten to see the pup for themselves. Only seen the little baby through the pictures and videos the liaison records with Rewind to bring back to CROC. Much as they’re all itching to figure out the wonderful mysteries the baby has given their fantastical origins, they know better than to just order the liaison into bringing their baby back to the centre. It would be too much for a shock for a pup to be taken away from their pod and be dropped somewhere clinical as the centre. Not only that but they will have several angry pods on their butts for taking the pup of a pod leader away so yeah. Baby steps.

✦ As Rodimus Junior grows older, it’s clear that they’re a spitting image of their sire but their personality is more tempered thanks to the liaison and everyone else who had a hand in raising them to ensure a little mini-Rodimus didn’t happen. Also instead of the bright blue eyes of their sire, there’s a chance that Rodimus Junior’s eyes are the same colour as their carrier to show the influence the liaison had in their birth. It’s the only way to tell the two apart, besides the fact Rodimus Junior’s fins are less flashy than their sire’s. Much as Rodimus wants them to become the new leader of the pod when he retires from the position, it seems the growing pup has their eyes on learning more about human culture and attempting to bridge the two worlds of seaformers and humans together. If the liaison encourages them on this path, there’s a real possibility that CROC will get their first seaformer diplomat after all.


Neymar’s gift to his mother on International Women’s Day 2017 | 08.03.17

“Thank you, my God, for giving me this wonderful, affectionate son and still today with such an important game, he remembers me…” Nadine wrote with the first photo (of the card).

With the second photo she wrote: “I love you son! God is Faithful ….. even from afar, he remembers/knows how to surprise me.”

Switched luggage at the airport : brohm
  • (Bryce calls Ohm on skype through his computer)
  • Bryce: ohm? you there?
  • Ohm: yeah im here! sorry it took me so long, the wifi here is really fuckin' slow. *moves phone around trying to get a good angle of his face*
  • Bryce: I'm guessing your still at the airport due to all the noise *giggle*
  • Ohm: *soft laugh* yeah, the waiting queue is taking forever god damn it.
  • Bryce: thats sad.
  • Ohm: i know right!
  • Bryce: so I guess that means you have your luggage still on you then? *gives him a questioning side glare*
  • Ohm: well yeah, i have to pull this heavy piece of shit with me everywhere. *tilts phone so Bryce can see the suitcase at his side*
  • Bryce: Great! now about that luggage.. *sheepish grin*
  • Ohm: Bryce? what did you do? *scolds him while talking to him like a child*
  • Bryce: i might have done a bad and switched our luggage. *talks softly*
  • Ohm: Bryce! *facepalms* you didn't go through it did you?
  • Bryce: ahhh I may have just a little bit. *squints eyes*
  • Ohm: fucking hell Bryce. Then who's do i have?
  • Bryce: Well I'm hoping mine, otherwise someone gets to take my Micky mouse ears home and gift them to their grandchildren.
  • Ohm: well we don't want that now do we Brycey?
  • Bryce: *crosses his arms across his chest* absolutely not!
  • Ohm: *laughs at Bryce's child like antics* alright let have a look, just hang on a sec. *puts the phone down on the floor as he opens the suitcase*
  • Bryce: I can't really go anywhere so yeah, i guess I'll hang for a sec. *comments smart assly*
  • Ohm: *picks phone back up* you're in luck my friend. *turns camera toward Bryce's open suitcase to show his mickey mouse ears sitting on top*
  • Bryce: phew *wipes imaginary sweat off his forehead* i guess that's that fixed. *giggles cutely*
  • Ohm: that's great and all Bryce but, what the fuck am i going to do now?! my flight is about to lift off, the line to even get your tickets up is taking 3 years, I just found out I have the wrong luggage and need to find a way to get to your house, come back to the airport, line up in the queue for another 5 hours and get on a plane that is already half way across the sea?! *he lists complaining*
  • Bryce: ohm. *looks into the camera reassuringly*
  • Ohm: what? *looks back panicked and way less calm then before*
  • Bryce: you need to calm your tits and think for a minute. there's no way you'll be able to come to my house and back in time for your flight *he began listing off his fingers* even if i decided to bring your luggage to you there still won't be enough time and the only other option is you take my luggage with you and the next time we meet up we give each others stuff back.
  • Ohm: but who knows how long that might be?!
  • Bryce: *shruggs* sorry bud not much i can do about that.
  • Ohm: there's gotta be another option? *he says as he finally takes a step forward in the line*
  • Bryce: well... *scratchs under his chin*
  • Ohm: What?... well what?! *he says in anticipation*
  • Bryce: i guess you could hang at my house for a little longer.
  • Ohm: YES! *says so loud the family lined up in front of him turned around startled*
  • Ohm: i-i mean, yes please.
  • Bryce: *laughs sweetly at ohm's excitement* well then, it'll probably be best if you get out the line dont you think? *smiles wildly*
  • Ohm: oh yeah i guess your right. excuse me miss, pardon me. *Bryce watched as ohms phone swayed as he tried to get out of the queue*
  • Bryce: oh and about your plane tickets, we can exchange them for another flight. *he says in a plain tone*
  • Ohm: What! why didn't you tell me that before?! *makes it to the back of the line and walks towards the exit doors to the drop off parking lot*
  • Bryce: i forgot, sheesh. *runs hand through hair while looking to his right as something catching his eye*
  • Bryce: hey ohm? *reaches down to grab something*
  • Ohm: hmm? *hums not even looking at bryce's cam*
  • Bryce: i also forgot to ask you about this. *holds up an 'i love Bryce McQuaid' t-shirt that he found in ohms suitcase*
  • how long have you had this exactly? *smirkfull grin*
  • Ohm: *looks at Bryce through his phone a little blush on his cheeks but Bryce didn't notice* oh my god, Can you just come pick me up?! *he says passive aggressively*
  • Bryce: alllright, I'll see you soon then buddy. *puts the shirt down on his lap* but I still have some question for you like.. why is my face on that pillow.
  • Ohm: *rubs his forehead in frustration* I'll tell you later, just get your ass in the car before i get to the exit.
  • Bryce: im on it dont worry, i'll be there before you can say i love Bryce McQuaid.
  • Ohm: wouldn't even say it if my life depended on it. *he jokes smiling*
  • Bryce: right? that's why you have a shirt to say it for you, got it. *smirks devilishly giggling*
  • Ohm: okay im gonna hang up im almost at the door. it would be unfair if i didn't give you enough time to beat me to it?
  • Bryce: a challenge? oh your on!
  • Ohm: *chuckles* bye Bryce.
  • bryce: see you in a bit. *whispers* fangirl.
  • (hangs up call)

Warning: voreish rant below.

You guys, I freaking love stomach growls. Something that I’ve always loved is giving meanings do different kinds of stomach noises, as if it was its own separate entity. I could talk about it for hours, but here’s just a few of my favorite gurgle uses.

Anticipation: You know that moment in the car when you can feel the heat of the pizza box on your lap and smell the melty cheese and sauce and your stomach just knows that it’s gonna get something good delivered soon? It’s  like that, except, you know, sometimes with prey.

Satisfaction: I know this doesn’t happen in real life, but the idea of a stomach letting out a happy gurgle once a tasty meal is delivered gets me every. single. time.

Irritation: These are the kind of growls you get when you’re sick or eat something bad, and it is almost as if your insides are complaining to you about what you chose to eat. These growls are signs that belly rubs are in order, weather inside or out.  

Fullness/working: These noises let you know that your belly is hard at work churning down whatever (or whomever) is inside. Bonus points if the stomach gurgles out of frustration at not being able to churn down indigestible prey inside. Also burps. Those are good too. 

Of course you can’t forget the good old FEED ME growls that we all experience once and a while.

They are also great for non-vore situations, like laying down on a giant’s tummy or using a belly as a pillow to listen to the sounds inside.
On the other hand, I love that how when eaten, the heartbeats and gurgly noises you hear are a constant reminder that you are inside a living, breathing human being. You can just lay back in the folds and listen to the persistent noises of intestines just below you working on that amazing cake you made for your friends birthday. Hearing the contented gurgles of a friend’s stomach hugging around you, happy and full, is probably the best thing ever.

Another thing I love is the embarrassment they can cause preds. Blushy faces on both people caused by a loud gurgle is my ultimate weakness. Another cute thing is people growling back at stomachs because seriously how cute is that I mean come on.

I hope you guys enjoyed, and feel free to tell me what you guys love about noisy bellies!

Destiel College!AU Text Messages

By Cami 

Exhibit One:

Castiel: this art project is angering me 

Dean: you’ll do great, babe ;}

Exhibit Two: 

Dean: you look beautiful today 

Castiel: you haven’t even seen me today 

Dean: I don’t have to <3

Exhibit Three: 

Dean: why does philosophy have to be so hard 

Castiel: is it as hard as my dick? 

Dean: c'mon im in class! *insert laughing emojis* only for me babe

Castiel: ur the one texting me, idiot 

Dean: touche, smartass <3

Keep reading


so, uh, I can think of only two explanations for the fact that Rai is, in canon, a snow leopard:

1) He has an extreme case of albinism (because even albino leopards have SOME spots)

2) No one at Nitro+Chiral has ever seen a snow leopard in their goddamn lives.

either way my imagination went wild for what I deem as a painfully missed opportunity.