I identify as a lesbian, but I'm sex repulsed because of some things that happened to me when I was younger.... I don't really want to identify as asexual because I feel that the lesbian part of my identity is more important than whether or not I like sex, but I feel conflicted because I don't want to call myself a lesbian and have people assume that I'm okay with sex? Idk, but you've given a lot of great advice already tonight, don't feel bad if you can't/don't answer this one
i know you didn’t say this to be harmful, but the fact that people do assume individuals personal relationship to sex is fucked up, and it’s really unfair to say that identifying as a lesbian means you’re okay with people assuming about your sex life. i am so very not okay with that. saying you’re a lesbian, with no modifier attached, isn’t (or shouldn’t be) necessarily sexual. by enforcing a binary of The Aces and The Allos, more and more people think that if you don’t specify your sexuality within those set parameters that they’re just this blithe person whom loves sex the exact same way as everyone else. which is so wrong, especially to lgbt individuals.
i say all of this not to criticize you, as this is a systemic problem, but to say that these current parameters are restricting/unhelpful in a lot of ways and i think you are understandably feeling that tension. there’s not an easy way out here, unfortunately, and i think the answer is to understand that labels can never truly sum up an individual, and that what others think of you is less important than you think.