i mean it isn't perfect but at least it gets the point he wanted across i suppose

So I have a habit of livetexting everything I read/watch to the person who got me into it, and it's generally regarded as quite amusing. My dear friend Mycroft recently got me into Young Wizards, and he suggested that I put one of my livetexts up on Tumblr as my introduction into the fandom. So here goes "Iago reads High Wizardry" (lightly edited to make reading easier).
  • Iago: *picks up High Wizardry* Here we go.
  • Iago: Oh god. Setting up a computer in the nineties. This should be fun.
  • Iago: Dari wearing a Star Wars shirt makes me incredibly happy.
  • Iago: Nita's parents affronted by the fact that Dari can set up the computer without instructions is just perfect.
  • Mycroft: Dairine is the best Star Wars nerd.
  • Iago: She also likes X-Men, which is perfect.
  • Iago: "The sure way to make the world work for you was to know everything. Dairine sat home and busied herself with conquering the world." New favorite character? I think so.
  • Mycroft: I think she became like half the fandom's favorite character at that exact moment. Myself included--I can definitely relate.
  • Iago: *laughs* At least I'm in good company, then.
  • Iago: I hope Dari eventually conquers the world. We couldn't have a better ruler.
  • Mycroft: Amen to THAT.
  • Iago: Oh sweet lord Dari took the Oath we're all toast.
  • Iago: Dari with a lightsaber is a terrifying thought.
  • Iago: Dari's going to have an affinity for computer systems, isn't she?
  • Iago: Awwwww, Nita's upset that Kit didn't notice her new boobs!
  • Mycroft: Also consider this- since Dari took the Oath, she could probably make a lighsaber out of wizardry if she really wanted.
  • Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus we're fucked.
  • Iago: Oh look, Dari's created a second computer.
  • Mycroft: It's always good to have backups...
  • Iago: It's her Wizard's manual, isn't it?
  • Mycroft: I'm saying nothingggggg.
  • Iago: It's totally her manual. It's fucking taking her to Mars as we speak,
  • Mycroft: Okay yes. That is a thing.
  • Iago: Obviously that means she has an affinity for computers. I'm a writer. i know these things.
  • Iago: It also means that she might have and easier time with wizardry that Kit and Nita, because she just has to command the computer.
  • Mycroft: Brace yourself for the "computer wizard" puns. They're gonna happen.
  • Iago: YUS
  • Iago: How convenient is it that two of the *four* North American Senior Wizards live within relative spitting distance of our main characters?
  • Iago: Wait, puberty gives you more power? Fuck, why wasn't *I* a wizard? That could have made things a hell of a lot easier.
  • Iago: Souls are one to a customer *on this planet*? The hell does that mean?
  • Mycroft: It's a big, weird Universe out there...
  • Iago: Fair play to you.
  • Iago: Ah, the trouble with going to a place about which you know nothing: you find yourself talking to the luggage. I wouldn't be surprised if, at some point, Dari used the wrong verbs and ended up kissing a complete stranger.
  • Iago: Ah, planet-hopping youth. Always expecting something they're familiar with, when someone more experienced would know not to expect anything.
  • Iago: "Tentacled" being used as a way to describe how people get around brings me much joy.
  • Mycroft: SAME. Also, welcome to the Crossings. You'll be seeing a lot of it.
  • Iago: Oh boy. That sounds ominous.
  • Mycroft: Well, I mean it's a popular travel hub.
  • Iago: Fair enough.
  • Iago: Oh my god are those actually dinosaurs.
  • Iago: Holy shit it's like a bloodhound but it's a dinosaur yes good I approve of this.
  • Iago: Oh shit, now she's covering her trail. How the hell are Kit and Nita going to fin her
  • Iago: God, this galaxy sounds beautiful.
  • Iago: Kit and Nita in a "permanent partnership". *waggles eyebrows*
  • Mycroft: INDEED.
  • Mycroft: They're so adorably awkward.
  • Iago: Especially at thirteen and fourteen. This is perfect.
  • Iago: And we're back to Nita considering asking Kit what he thinks about "things".
  • Mycroft: Bless her beautiful relatable awkwardness.
  • Iago: Yes, Tom, tell the magical children to go to major law enforcement authorities. That can't possibly backfire in your face.
  • Iago: planet-sized computer chip = yes good.
  • Mycroft: Wasn't it terrifying when Dairine thought she'd fried her Manual. Stranded in the middle of a distant unexplored planet is not the greatest time for that.
  • Iago: It was too far from the end of the book for her to be dead just yet.
  • Iago: Ah! She's teaching it and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
  • Iago: Oo! Dairine's manual is learning, too!
  • Iago: Oh god is she going to make the planet a wizard
  • Mycroft: ...MAYBE
  • Iago: Goody.
  • Mycroft: By the way, you didn't say anything about the Doctor's cameo...
  • Iago: Oh, of *course* that was him. I was wondering why he felt familiar. Which incarnation was that supposed to be?
  • Mycroft: Five. He's Diane Duane's favorite.
  • Iago: Ahhhh. Makes sense why I didn't quite catch it, then. I've never seen a Five story, and I really know very little about him.
  • Iago: oh god it was a *birthing* room?
  • Iago: "Kit, I didn't do it for you 'some'. I did it for you 'pretty much'."
  • Iago: I FUCKING SHIP IT SO GODDAMN HARD RIGHT NOW.
  • Mycroft: YES GOOD JOIN US
  • Iago: IS THERE SOME KIND OF INITIATION CEREMONY OR AM I JUST IN
  • Iago: BECAUSE I WILL WRITE FANFIC IF NECESSARY.
  • Mycroft: FANFIC IS ALWAYS GOOD
  • Iago: Also, That Fucker just blew up a star to kill Kit and Nita. How rude.
  • Mycroftt: Are we calling the Lone Power That Fucker now because I totally approve
  • Iago: We totally can. I figured that capitalizing the first letters of any creative epithet I come up with would get the point across.
  • Mycroft: And it totally did.
  • Iago: Aw, Dairine's making friends with the circuit turtles!
  • Mycroft: With!
  • Iago: Is that its name?
  • Iago: Apparently not. Too bad, that would have been cute.
  • Iago: Gigo's nice, too, though
  • Iago: Mycroft I want a circuit turtle
  • Iago: Oh my god Dairine has just created a new race.
  • Mycroft: YUP
  • Iago: Good lord she *could* take over the world.
  • Mycroft: I would probably support this.
  • Iago: We wouldn't be able to stop her. We probably wouldn't *want* to stop her.
  • Iago: Oh dear god the circuit turtles are going to take over the Universe
  • Mycroft: I think it's more like... reprogramming
  • Iago: They're going to remake the whole damn thing!
  • Iago: I legitimately do not know what the Lone Asshat wants from this encounter.
  • Iago: Oh my god Dari has just used one of my favorite lines.
  • Iago: "You're so full of it that if you had eyes, they'd be brown."
  • Iago: Ah, mental contact. Solves everyone's problems
  • Iago: *flailing* Dari!
  • Iago: GODDAMMIT MYCROFT IF SHE HAS TO DIE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE I QUIT LIFE
  • Iago: Nita and Kit showed up in the nick of time, and honest to god I was waiting for a, "Surprise, bitch."
  • Iago: "One might be intending to cripple or destroy that Power, but there was no need to be rude about it."
  • Iago: AND WHY NOT
  • Iago: RUDE IS FUN
  • Iago: WHY IS NITA USING HER LIFE FORCE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT'S THE WORST IDEA
  • Iago: PEACH
  • Iago: *incoherent shrieking*
  • Iago: MYCROFT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END YOU WHY DID YOU GET ME INTO A SERIES THAT HURTS SO MUCH
  • Iago: WAIT A SECOND HAS DAIRINE ACTUALLY BECOME GOD
  • Iago: SHE HAS SHE'S TOTALLY GOD
  • Iago: JEELSUS CRUST HOW
  • Iago: SHE CREATED A SPECIES AND NOW SHE'S ALMIGHTY WE MAY AS WELL JUST START WORSHIPPING HER
  • Iago: WAIT NO FUCK SHE CAN'T DIE SHE'S GOD
  • Iago: PICCHU. PICCHU IS BACK. IN A DIFFERENT FORM BUT FUCK I'LL TAKE IT.
  • Iago: THEY ARE ALL ALIVE
  • Iago: OH MY GOD NO ONE DIED
  • Iago: NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED HOLY SHIT
  • Iago: EXCUSE ME WHILE I ROLL AROUND ON THE GROUND, SCREAMING FOR JOY

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Baseball, First pitch, Kate Beckett. Don't know if this is how you want it. I apologize if it isn't.

Three Words Prompt #4 (Baseball first pitch)

—–

“I suck at baseball, Kate,” he sad in a panic. “I don’t do athletics.” Castle scraped a hand down his face and tried not to think about how he wanted to throw up. “I mean, the best I got is yay, sports! Do the thing! Win the points!”

“That’s not quite how baseball goes,” she answered, a press of her lips that meant she was actually amused.

“You’re laughing,” he accused. The car was hurtling through traffic. There was no way they were going to be too late to the game to make it.

“No,” she drew out. “Not laughing.”

“You are.”

“Castle, why did you agree to throw out the first pitch if you’re so terrified of sports?”

“I’m not terrified,” he squeaked. Castle cleared his throat, shook his head to get that back in control. “I am not terrified. Merely concerned. I may have prowess in bed, but that does not extend to prowess on the playing field.” He paused, arrested by that interesting play on words. Playing field. He knew there was a joke in there somewhere but-

“You’re usually so cocky,” she murmured, a lift of her eyebrow.

He laughed, touched his fingers to his brow in an imaginary salute. “Very good. I couldn’t quite come up with it.”

“Come up?”

Castle laughed harder, thoroughly pleased now, realized he was a little more relaxed. “Thanks for that.”

She sidled closer in the backseat, sliding her hand along his thigh. “You’ll be just fine. Even if you can’t throw, the catcher - or well, sometimes its a position player who wants to catch for you - the honor-”

“The honor?” Tension crept back into his shoulders.

“Point is, whoever it is - he’s an athlete at the top of his game. He’ll do everything he can to catch your throw. To not let you look stupid.”

“Catch my… what if I can’t get it to the catcher?”

Kate opened her mouth, closed it.

“Oh, no. Oh, no,” he groaned.

“Um.” She rubbed two fingers over her lips. “It’s the Mets so… not many people will see it?”

“The Mets are hot right now,” he whined. “Everyone is watching them.”

She blinked.

“I can’t do this. You’re doing it,” he blurted out. 

She stared at him. He stared back.

“What?”

“You can do it,” he said, then rushed on before she could speak. “You’re good at throwing things. Just last week you threw that pillow at my head and totally got me.”

“Castle!”

“Major force behind your throws, Kate. You’ll at least get it to the end zone.”

“Plate,” she muttered. “Home plate.”

“Right, yes. Home plate. See? I need you.”

“Castle, this is supposed to be for your literacy campaign, not-”

“But you do press for that all the time! See? It’s perfect. You do it. You do it. You do-”

“Castle,” she snapped, but he could see it in her eyes, in the flush across her face. She was catching his nerves. She wanted to do it.

“Please,” he said, wriggling closer to her, drawing his arm around her, nuzzling down into her neck at that place that made her gasp. He circled his fingers at her knee, dropped his voice to that suggestive, prowess in the bedroom tone. “Please, Kate.”

“Castle,” she groaned.

Oh, she was totally doing it.

“You are the best.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Hey, you should call your dad. He’ll want to see this.”

Kate buried her head in her hands.

—–