Hello, my friend! I had a really weird day that was full of unnecessary levels of stupid, so if you could possibly do #15 with Analogical then that would make me very happy. Thank you!!
15. a gentle “i love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss
Pairings: Analogical (romantic)
CW: Slight angst (happy ending though)
Logan worries sometimes. He tries not to, but he can’t quite help it. And the thing about Virgil is, he’s very, very attuned to worry.
“Tell me,” Virgil says one evening.
He’s sitting on Logan’s bed watching Logan work at his desk, putting the finishing touches on a proposed schedule for the upcoming busy holiday season.
“Hmm?” Logan’s mind is wrapped up in dates and family members and events and video posting schedules, so at first, he doesn’t really register the question.
“What you’re worrying about,” Virgil says. “Tell me.”
That captures Logan’s attention. He looks up from his work with a frown and sees Virgil gazing at him, head cocked at an angle and eyes shrewd and searching.
Logan frowns. “I don’t know what you–”
“You do.” Virgil waves a hand. “You’ve been worried for a few days now. I’ve felt it.” He smirks. “I’m anxiety, remember? I notice these things.”
Logan briefly considers telling him he’s wrong. He thinks about asking why he is bringing it up now, of all times, when Logan is so wholly focused somewhere else. But he knows Virgil will detect the deflection, and besides, he’s right. Logan is worried. And Virgil probably knew that asking him now, when Logan’s busy working and his guard is down, is the best way to get him to talk.
He can’t decide if he’s proud or annoyed that Virgil knows him well enough to know that.
He sighs, and shuts the planner he’s been writing in, turning his desk chair to face the bed. Virgil’s sitting criss-cross, and he won’t quite meet Logan’s eyes now, and Logan knows that look well enough: Virgil is afraid too. He’s worried about whatever has Logan worried, because in Virgil’s experience, someone being worried about something is usually bad news for him.
All Logan can do is try to explain himself quickly. He doesn’t want Virgil to be afraid.
“I’m…confused,” he says at last.
“Yes,” Logan says. At Virgil’s prompting stare, Logan adds, “About us.”
If he thought the words would comfort the other side, he realizes quickly he was wrong. Virgil’s shoulders draw up a little, his eyes dropping again, and Logan recognizes the defensive gesture right away. Virgil is bracing himself for something bad.
“Okay,” the anxious side says quietly, picking at a loose thread on one of the many rips in his jeans. “So…what about us has you confused?” His voice is carefully casual.
Logan frowns. He doesn’t know why his own bemusement should be causing Virgil such disquiet. He continues, hoping to shed light on the subject for both of them.
“I’m confused about why we’re together,” he says. “Given the options at hand, I mean. Patton or Roman seem like they would be the more obvious choice, all things considered.”
Virgil doesn’t reply. He simply stares at his hands, which are now clasped, white-knuckle tight, in his lap.
“Patton is the heart,” Logan fumbles on, trying to make himself understood. “So he’d be a natural at this kind of thing. And Roman is the romantic, and dashing, and handsome, even if he is on the annoying side sometimes. Surely one of them would be a better option for a romantic liaison, wouldn’t they?”
There. It’s out now. He’s said it, and if Virgil decides he’s right…well…Logan wants him to be happy, no matter what that means for Logan himself. He bites his lip, waiting, afraid to breathe as Virgil seems to consider his words, staring at his hands where they are clasped in his lap.
Finally, after an agonizing eternity, Virgil nods slowly. “You’re right,” he says quietly, and Logan feels something inside his heart shatter, and oh. Oh dear, this is heartbreak, he’s sure of it. It…hurts. He never realized how much it could hurt.
Logan wants to look away but he can’t. Virgil’s eyes are fixed on his lap and his shoulders are still hunched. He looks upset. Perhaps he is upset that he didn’t realize sooner he had more…suitable options for a romantic partner. Logan can understand that, much as it pains him.
“Well…” Logan says softly, unsure of what should happen next. “We are in agreement, I suppose.”
Virgil barks a short laugh, but there is absolutely no humor in it. The anxious side nods, and unfolds himself from the bed, climbing to his feet. “Looks that way,” he mumbles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “M’glad you figured it out, I guess. Thanks for…” he pauses, swallows, and shrugs. “Thanks for being honest with me. I’ll, uh…I’ll just…” he rubs the back of his neck and gestures at the door.
Logan frowns. Virgil doesn’t seem happy to know about his improved prospects. Shouldn’t he be? “Virgil? Are you…all right?”
Virgil makes that awful little bark of laughter again and shrugs. “Sure, yeah, great,” he says dully. “It’s always awesome to hear why you’re the last resort.” He smirks, but there’s less humor in the expression than there was in the laugh. “I hope you’ll be very happy with whichever one of them you chose.”
Logan is so stunned that Virgil actually has his hand on the doorknob before he finally jolts himself into action. “Wait!” he cries, launching himself to his feet and stumbling forward (his legs are wobbly, whether from the long hours of sitting or the residual emotion, he doesn’t know). He grips Virgil’s shoulder and forcibly pulls him back.
Virgil resists, but not very hard. Still, when Logan has him turned to face him, Virgil refuses to meet his eyes, and keeps his face resolutely turned to the side. Logan’s heart breaks again when he sees the way Virgil’s face is trying to crumple, his lip and chin trembling and his eyes shining with hurt.
“Virgil,” Logan croaks, reaching up and cupping Virgil’s cheek, easing Virgil’s face toward his own. Virgil lets him but he still won’t meet his eyes.
“Virgil,” Logan says again, voice stronger now. “I am so sorry. I–I fear I have been unclear.”
Virgil sighs and shakes his head. “No, you were perfectly clear,” he says, and there’s still that awful dullness in his voice. “And I get it. I do. I…I’m not mad, or…or anything. Really.” He looks up but can’t lift his eyes any higher than Logan’s mouth. He tries a smile; it’s wobbly and frail, and the most heartbreaking thing Logan has ever seen.
“Virgil, no, you don’t get it,” Logan insists. “I didn’t mean the others were a more obvious choice for me. I meant the others seemed a more obvious choice for you.”
That gets Virgil’s attention. He snaps his eyes up to meet Logan’s, brows furrowed. “Wh–what?”
Logan shrugs. Time to lay it on the line. He can’t turn back now. “I’ve just…I’ve never quite understood why you chose me,” he says. “I’m not very good at this kind of thing. Being in a relationship like ours, I mean. I don’t have any instincts for affection or affinity for romance, and I’m utterly hopeless when it comes to dating. With two clearly superior options at your disposal, I just don’t understand why you’d ever pick–”
Virgil cuts him off abruptly, pressing his lips to Logan’s in a soft kiss that has Logan slumping with relief, because everything he needs to know is in that kiss. It’s reassurance and gentle chastisement and declarations of love all in once loving, incredibly soft caress of lips, and all Logan can do is hold on as Virgil speaks to him without words, in a language Logan never realized he knew. He wraps his arms around Virgil’s shoulders and just hangs on, a little surprised (but not really) to feel tears trickling down his cheeks.
Virgil finally draws back and wipes the tears away, looking not at all surprised to see them on Logan’s cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers gently, and if it were possible for a voice to reach out and cradle a heart, Virgil’s voice, and his words, cradle Logan’s right now. The thought is illogical, but he clings to it nonetheless as Virgil surges up and kisses him harder. When he draws away the second time, he grins and adds, “You idiot.”
Logan laughs at that in spite of the tears that are still sliding down his face. “Thank goodness,” he whispers. “Because I love you, too, Virgil.”
Virgil smirks at him, and if his lips are still trembling or his eyes are a fraction too bright, Logan doesn’t mention it.
“I know,” Virgil says.