i mean i'm not gonna date you

  • harry: i'm sorry ginny...i've got to go and hunt horcruxes to stop voldemort...i have to break up with you because you'll be in danger too...
  • ginny: i mean, first off, dude's probably gonna take over hogwarts so technically i'll be in less danger if i go on your little soul-searching bff camping trip
  • ginny: second of all, i don't think voldy's gonna give a shit if we're dating or not when he murders me for being a 'blood traitor' or whatever bullshit reason
  • ginny: and thirdly, i am better at magic than you and ron combined so like, move over scrub, me and hermione are gonna be killing us some dark lord

ok but SO MUCH happened in these tweets I’m still wrapping my head around all of it!  I’mma bulletpoint it:

  • they hired a new manager!  
    • nobody is more stressed out about it than dex
  • tater is texting bitty
    • you know that when bitty was on that point streak that Jack was bragging (gushing) about it to everyone within earshot
  • bitty and jack’s first valentine’s together
    • who’s surprised that Jack was 110% extra?
  • rans & holster planning for the future
    • I’m so stressed out about this actually like the thought of them fighting about it makes me so sad
  • SO MUCH nurseydex flirting.  
    • SO.  MUCH.
  • Tango is a Devils fan
    • I don’t know why I find this so endearing but I do.  does this mean Tango is from Jersey?
  • Jack requests that Bitty send him a selfie every morning
    • they are so gross
  • Bitty mentoring Whiskey!
    • even though whiskey is still hanging out with the lax bros
  • actually the most concrete confirmation we have in canon yet that Lardo and shitty are dating
    • I mean you could argue that the tweet only confirms that she’s dating a white person 
    • so you can pretend it’s like Camilla or whatever
    • but the way chowder talked about it as if it’s common knowledge who Lards is dating and we’ve only ever seen her in canon with Shitty
    • it basically confirms that she and shitty are an Established Relationship

And then there’s Bitty being not even remotely subtle, once again:

immediately followed by:

I mean JFC BITS.

  • Karlie: "Taylor people on the internet are being really mean to me because I'm still dating Josh.."
  • Taylor: "I suppose I could step out with yet another boring, pasty male celebrity.."
  • Karlie: "I don't think that'll be good enough this time.."
  • Taylor: "What if I plant an article suggesting I've been dating a d-lister with the same name as your dog that still lives with his parents?"
  • Karlie: "Ugh thanks betch, I owe you one"

anonymous asked:

I? Am sobbing?? Another minjoon lover holy fuck it seems so rare this is gonna sounds stupid but like can you name some reasons why you love it bc i'm just curious cause FUCK THEY CUTE this is confusing my b ILY THO YOU'RE HILARIOUS AND CUTE ILY :'D

rip rip rip thank u so much and YAS B I LOVE MINJOON IM SO GLAD YOU LOVE THEM TOO THEY ARE MY BABIES!

ok well i mean *cries*

they’re so CUDDLY

Originally posted by sosjimin

Originally posted by woogyuforever


namjoon dotes on jimin like crazy

Originally posted by taegied

Originally posted by mnnsuga

Originally posted by jitonic


AND THEN JUST EVERY TIME THEY WERE A COUPLE

SCREAMING THEY WERE ON A DATE!!!!! BINCH!!!!!!


yeah thats why they are my otp

Imagine your OTP - double date & oysters
  • Maggie: I don't know, Luthor... I think she's kind of...
  • Lena: I'm telling you, she's totally gonna...
  • Alex: *full mouth* What?!
  • Kara: ohnomnomnomnomnomnomnom *happy chipmunk cheeks*
  • Maggie: Sooooo Danvers, you're like to spit or swallow?
  • * danvers's sisters didn't see it coming *
  • Alex: *looks at the plate* *spit out*
  • Kara: *large gulp of surprise*
  • Maggie: I mean the oysters you're eating!
  • Lena: Told ya... *sipping her wine*
  • Maggie: *hands 20 bucks to Lena* Dammit...
  • Jason: *gets into Cass's date's van*
  • Jason: You know who I am?
  • Cass's Date: Uh, sorry you're Cass's brother.
  • Jason: Look, kid I'm sure you're a nice guy but you left your sock in my house and you took my little sister's innocence.
  • Jason: I'm gonna give you a twenty, and I want you to fill up your tank and I want you to clear out of here. Now, I'm asking you nicely.
  • Cass's Date: What about Cass?
  • Jason: Kid, if this van comes within a five mile radius of my house, I'll know it. 'Cause I can smell it. And then you and I are gonna have a visit, and I'm gonna spend some quiet time with you. Do I make myself clear?
  • Cass's Date: Sir, I just wanna let you know that I consider myself a student of philosophy. Live and let live, I mean no harm. To anyone.
  • Jason: I am an irrational hardass with rage issues. Don't piss me off.
  • Cass's Date: *takes the twenty*
  • Clalec shipper: can't you just FEEL the tension between you and Alec?
  • Clary: not much anymore. I know we got off to a really rough start, but lately we've been understanding each other more and I think we might actually be friends one day
  • Clalec shipper: I mean SEXUAL tension
  • Clary: ......
  • Clary: bitch I'm in a fucking love hexagon where I'm dating my childhood BFF after my last fling turned out to be MY BROTHER follow e by having some weird Sexually ConfusingTM feelings for the hot forensic science nerd AND YOU REALLY THINK IM GONNA COMPLICATE THAT SHIT MORE BY GETTING THIRSTY OVER A GAY MAN???

anonymous asked:

How would the guys react when they've been stressing about confessing to their crush, but they end up beating them to it and confessing to the boys instead?

haAAAAA get rekt

Noctis: His jaw drops, and his face flares up into a bright shade of red. He grumbles something under his breath and looks down to rub the back of his neck. “N…No, no, I’m not put off or anything, I’m… I’m really happy, because… I like you, too.” Needing to break the tension, he shoves their shoulder a little bit and groans, “Ah, c’mon, I was stressing over this and you just come out and say it? Who do you think you are?!” Noctis puts an arm around them and pulls them close anyway. “Jeez. If you knew, you could’ve said something.”

Ignis: He struggles to make any sounds for a solid ten seconds, his mouth opens and closes a few times like a stunned fish. “I… I’m happy to hear you feel that way towards me. I think the exact same of you,” he says once he’s over his initial shock. Ignis sighs loudly and runs a hand down his face. “To think I was fretting so ridiculously over telling you how I felt, and for you to utterly beat me in timing… I’m a fool.” He coughs and reaches for their hand to interlace their fingers. “…Consider this payback.”

Gladio: He blinks once, twice, then stares for a few seconds before pulling them to him in an elated hug. “So you did feel the same. What a relief.” He has to admit, he feels awkward being the one worrying so much over how to confess when his crush seemed to do so with such ease. He rubs the back of his neck. “You caught me off guard there, but I was planning on telling you, too. Can’t believe you beat me to it.” Honestly, once the initial embarrassment passes, it doesn’t bother him much. He just holds them and sighs contently. 

Prompto: He’d probably work up the courage to start to say something, but amidst all his nervous stuttering his crush would go ahead and blurt out their feelings for him. “I- wait, what? Wha? Huh? Me? You, like me? Like, like like? Wait, but I was gonna- that’s my line!” He’d curl up into a defensive ball and hide his face with both hands. “Ugh, come on! I was gonna be the first one to say it anyway, why’d you have to interrupt? I mean, hell yeah I’ll still date you, but dammit, I’m so lame!” he cries. He’d need some comforting later, but at the end of the day he’s still light-headed and happy. 

dating jaemin!!

for my homie @jaeminnana

4/? for dating series!

i have a lot of requests and stuff (surprisingly) for a bunch of members!

thanks for all the reblogs and notes too!

———–

- jAEMIN!

- ok so y'all r classmates

- your desk is right in front of his

- he actually annoys u sm but u like it ;)

- “y/N” x278938393

- “whAT BITCH”

- “hi”

- jfc jaemin 

- once he was laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair

- ofc being the nice person u are, you go help him

- “omg r u ok?”

- thats when nana started to like u

- yOU JUST LOOKED SO PERFECT

- he choked on his spit and like suddenly his heart was beating 4x faster

- hE DIDNT KNOW WHaT IT MEANt

- so of course he seeks help from is pal jeno

- “boi help me i think i like y/n”

- “fucc boi ur screwed” - advice that jeno gives to jaemin

- jaemin starts planning out his confession very precisely

- “imma bake her a cak- nO IMMA TUTOR HE- nO WAIT SHE’S SMARTER THAN ME-”

- “jfc jaemin just tell her you like her” - rest of nct

- “nO??!/1 SHE DESERVES MORE THAN A SIMPLE i like u!!!?!?!”

- #firstworldproblems am i rite

- in the long run though, he decides to decorate your locker

- he goes to school EXTRA early I’m talking 7:30 am (my school starts at nine so it considered early i guess)

- he has all these treats and party stuff

- he spends an hour on the inside part of your locker

- it says “ i like u! make me the happiest boi alive nd date me!”

- with a bunch of decor stuffzies around it

- he rly likes u 

- ANY WAY

- so when u get to school u have no clue why all deez bois r surrounding ur locker and giggling 

- you just open your locker and BAM

- so many candy and snacks fall out of ur locker

- and then u see the message

- and die

- cause like thE JAEMIN JUST ASKED U OUT

- you then hear a cough and turn around

- all of nct is behind u

- pushing jaemin to talk to u

- “uh-,,,hey there,,, wanna date?” 

- “jAEMIN THAT WAS NOT WHAT U PRACTICED” - doyoung honestly

- you accept cause duh u like him back

- time skip to first class

- you just hear constant giggling behind you

- you turn around (and jaemin gawks in your beauty)

- “shut up or i’ll end it”

- giggling stops right away and is never to be heard again

- JOKES

- HE JUST KEEPS GIGGLING

- “aww c’mon babe u know u love me”

where did the shy jaemin go just moments ago 

- u aint denying that

- OK SO YOUR FIRST DATE IS AT THE DORMS

- and y'all r on the couch together 

- not cuddling, oh no more like sitting as far away as you can possible

- that is, until evERY OTHER MEMBER GRABS JAEMIN AND MAKES HIM LIKE HOLD YOU

- it was so awkward

- you wanted to die

- jaemin wanted to die

- moving on

- jaEMiN liKES yOU sO Mu CH

- like in the halls he is always like 

- “hey babe have a good day!”

- all your friends and all his friend go

- “AWOOOO” y’know

- oMG WHEN HE HELD YOUR HAND FOR THE FIRST TIME

- ANJJSJJSKSJKS 

- y'all were walking on a cold winter day

- and you forgot you mitts

- and he sees your numb lil hand

- AND GRABS IT

- udhuskgwicdh you suddenly heated up and forgot about the numbness you were feeling

- jaemin loves pda

- in class he like rests his head on your shoulder and the teacher swoons

- hE LOVE HUGS

- LIKE BIG BEAR HUGS

- HE JUST THINKS THEY R THE BEST

-  his members always embarrass him in from of you

- “omG jAeMin JusT fARtEd!!!!”

- “jAEMIN STOP PICKING YOU NOSE”

- dat kid did nothing wrong

- he just sheepishly smiles

- and the members r like 

- AwE HE’S IN LOVE

- thats not a lie

- he just loves u sm

- omg your first kiss!

- it was a spur of the moment kind of thing

- you were blabbing about you day to him and

- he just kisses you

-out!!of!!!no!!where!!!!

- YALL BLUSHED SO HARD

- HIS LIPS WERE SO SOFT AND FLUFFY

- like i bet he uses baby lips

- ALSO JAEMIN IS A MINOR

- WHICH MEANS SO BUSINESS

- doyoung was lecturing jaemin on the birds and the bee’s

- he almost puked 9 times

- bUT ITS OK CAUSE HE WOULD NEV ER

- jaemin may be young, but he knows he loves you

- he hasn’t said it yet, but he wants to keep u forever 

- like forever

- and ever

- and ever

- LUV HIM PLS

————

IM DONE!

now I’m working on that scenario of yuta (the one based of the dating au)

I'm on a rapid update schedule cause I’m not gonna have a free week forever :( i will post when i will be a little less active

anyway bye!

- emma

so I’m a pansexual cis woman and I’m dating a cishet man and we’ve been dating for 8 months now. Does that mean I don’t belong in the community anymore? No, I’m still a part of itYou really wanna know why? Because my sexuality is still valid no matter who i’m dating and so does yours if your sexuality falls under the LGBT+ spectrum. It doesn’t matter if you’re a bisexual woman dating a man or an asexual man dating a woman. You. Are. Still. Part. Of. The. Community. Even. If. You. Pass. As. A. Straight. Couple.

anonymous asked:

Okay but if Klance is gonna become canon... We got confirmed for what, 6, 8 seasons? It'll happen pretty slowly probably. They'll probably be buds at first, until like the 4th season or so, then the UST/UET becomes more apparent. Then they like actually date probably halfway through the last/second-to-last season. Or the last episode. I don't know. I'm not a psychic. Zarkon could become the good guy for all I know - I wouldn't bet on what I tell you.

I mean honestly whatever happens, happens! If klance is a thing, awesome!! If not, well, that’s alright too. As long as allura, hunk, and lance stay alive and well, I’m content tbh

drake & josh;; starter sentences
  • "There's a NEW Jersey?"
  • "Are you calling me a liar?"
  • "I ain't calling you a truther!"
  • "I don't care. I like it on my face."
  • "Pip pip da doodly do!"
  • "Maybe 'E' means 'extra fuel'!"
  • "That is not my job."
  • "I have dreams. And sometimes, in those dreams, things happen to you."
  • "Dude, when life hands you free nachos, you don't question it!"
  • "Hang on, I'm doing something really important!"
  • "I love this album more than I love myself."
  • "Whoa, just take it easy, man."
  • "So my foot's totally stuck in there, right, I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left."
  • "You should date whoever you want to date."
  • "So I don't like her, big deal."
  • "If you make fun of me one more time, I'm gonna tell everyone we know that you named your favorite pillow Mr. Puff Puff."
  • "I don't like half the girls I date."
  • "Nice going, you ran over your sister!"
  • "I hope you go bald!"
  • "I hope they cancel Oprah!"
  • "I'm really glad someone invented pizza."
  • "Well, sorry doesn't sweeten my tea!"
  • "Whoa, that cat IS fancy."
  • "Don't you have a rib to nibble?"
  • "You sicken me."
  • "You're the worst!"
  • "Look, I was wrong, okay?"
  • "I need you, I need you way more than you need me."
welcome to middlebourough land

bmc requested by: @localbruha
(imsorryittooksolongbuddyilyilyily)

post-squip; jeremy is buds w/ rich and michael isn’t really, so jer is like “hey you should also be friends with rich” and michael agrees so he and rich becomes friends but jer then feels jealous bc mike is hanging with rich more and more

-

Monday. Great.
I walk down the hall to meet up with Rich- yes that Rich, the same Rich that bullied me for a year, the same Rich that set a fire and burned down a house.
That’s all behind us now that the Squip is gone. Ever since that happened, everyone has been pretty chill and not as douchey.
I see Rich up ahead, with Jake, and go towards him.

“Hey, Heere!” Rich calls as soon as I reach him.
“Jeremy.” Jake nods.

“Hey, Rich, Jake.” I say.

As they continue to talk, i take my time to look around.

I see Chloe texting someone, and Brooke trailing behind her like a lost puppy. There’s Jenna talking to Justin Croft about something drastic that has happened.

And walking through the door is Michael. Michael has been my friend, since I can remember. Walking with him, is Christine. I dated her for a while, but we just didn’t click. I was heartbroken for a while, but Michael helped me through it.

“Heere? Heere? JEREMY!” Rich yells as i snap back to reality.

“Um what?” I say (awkwardly shall I add).

“Why don’t you ask Mike over there to hang with us?” Rich asks, also looking at Michael.

“Um, I don’t know, Michael doesn’t do well with new people. I-I could try though, heh.” I say.

Rich gestures to get Michael and I take a deep breath and go to him. Ever since I broke up with Christine, I’ve been closer with Michael. Yeah sure, I was close with him before, but it’s different, ya know?

I get to Michael, “Hey buddy! Rich wants to k is if you want to hang with us?” I ask.

Michael darts his eyes towards Rich and Jake and then back to me.
“Umm, I don’t know man. I promised Christine to help her with math.” Michael says scratching the back of his neck.

Christine interjects, “No no! It’s fine! Really. I’ll just ask someone else.” She says smiling.

Michael laughs nervously and shrugs, “Guess I’m with you guys.”

“Hey,” I say putting a hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”

He gives me a warm smile, “It’s fine, we all need to get out of our comfort zone once in a while.”

We walk back to Rich and see that Jake had left to go talk to other people.

Rich sends Michael a warm smile, “Hey, Michael, how ya doin’?” Rich asks.

Michael shrugs, “Good I guess?”

Suddenly the bell rings signaling that first is starting.

“Nice chatting with you too! See ya at lunch?” Rich asks, walking away.

“See ya, Rich!” I call back, “You want me to walk you to science?” I ask Micheal.

“I’ll be fine. See you later, Jer!” Michael smiles and waves, and then he’s gone.

I wave back and then I’m off to first.

-

Lunch, best part of the day. I can finally eat food without getting in trouble. You can talk to your friends without being told to be quiet. You can wonder aimlessly outside. Do whatever in these 30 minutes.

I walk to where Michael and I usually have lunch and spot Michael and Rich looking at Rich’s phone.

I’ve gotta admit, I feel a pang of hurt, but quickly push it off like nothing and head over to them.

“Hey guys, hope you didn’t eat all the food without me,” I joke, sitting next to Michael, who is now i’m the middle.

“Dude, you have to see. Rich just showed me a video of Jake fall and dropping his Slushee!” Michael says between laughs as Rich hands over the phone to me.

To be honest, I don’t really pay attention to the video. I pretend to laugh and i glance at Michael and Rich’s legs touching. Weird, I know. it i still can’t help feeling… envious? I don’t know, but I don’t like it, whatever it is.

I hand the phone back, “Sooo, Michael, my dad is going out this weekend so it’s just me and I wanted to know if you wanted to sleep over or something? We could play games, you’ll be my player two! Like old time,” I smile awkwardly at Michael.

Michael eyes widen, “Oh! Uuhh well, actually, Rich kinda already invited me over and, uh, I said yeah?” Michael scratches his neck.

Ok now that hurts.

“Oh, that’s fine. You two have fun,” I sadly smile.

Michael looks at me for a second and turns back to Rich to finish their conversation.

For the rest of lunch, I stay quiet.

-

Sunday.
Last day till another week of hell.

And the last day till I see him again.

His tan skin, black hair. His brown eyes and that same damn red sweatshirt he wears everyday.

Ugh.

I hear my phone buzz, and I shit up from my bed to retrieve it.

It’s from him.
Of course it is.

Player 1: jer, u ok????

I quickly text back:

jerbear: ya?????? why wouldn’t i be????

Player 1: u seemed off on fri…

jerbear: bro,,, i’m fine,,, really
jerbear: aNyWaY
jerbear: how was hanging w/ rich?

Player 1: oh
Player 1: we never ended up hanging out…

jerbear: oh??? why?

Player 1: i just,, didn’t feel like it.
Player 1: it’s not that same

jerbear: ??? explain

I turn off my phone and go downstairs to get lunch while waiting for a reply.

Once I get downstairs, I see my dad (without pants) making something that we’ll probably eat for dinner.

“Hey they, Heere!” He greets.

“Hey dad.” I reply, getting left over pizza from the fridge.

“Why do you sound so… meh?” He asks, turning around.

“Why is everyone asking that!?” I snap, slamming the fridge door shut.

“Woah, Jeremy, just askin’.” Dad says, putting his hands up defensively.

I sigh, “Sorry, I’ve just been…” I trail off looking outside the kitchen window.

“Huh, so you like someone?” Dad says smiling.

This draws me back, “whAT NO WHY WOULDYOUSAYTHATNODADIDONTLIKEANYONEWHOEOUODEVENLIKEMEAREYOU-”

“Jeremy!” My dad cuts me off, “I was just asking!! But by the seems of that answer… you do like someone!” He laughs.

“Ugh, dad, I- I don’t know.” I say sitting down at the table and putting my head down.

“Well, if you do like someone, I’ll be there to help you sort it out.” He reassures me, patting me on the back.

I sigh once more, and head back upstairs with my cold pizza.

Once I sit back on my bed, I check me phone for any answer, and I’m surprised to see multiple texts from Michael.

Player 1: its just whenever im hanging round rich and ur not there it doesnt feel the same
Player 1: like ya rich is cool and all that jazz but its just two dudes hanging out
Player 1: but w/ u it feels more personal and kajdjsjdk
Player 1: ugh sorry i’m venting
Player 1: ill stop bothering u

I immediately reply.

jerbear: nonono tell me, i want to know

Player 1: its complicated bro

jerbear: there’s nothing you can’t tell me
jerbear: i’ll be there for you

Player 1: but what if u hate me???

jerbear: there is nothing you can do to make me hate you man

Player 1: okok hold on it’s a lot to write

And with that, he starts typing away and I am left to wonder.

-

An hour later and I still haven’t gotten a reply, and it’s starting to worry me.

Finally, my phone buzzes and I quickly go to read it.

Player 1: i like you

Wait.. was that it!? That’s what took an hour to write!?

But wait, does he like me? As a friend or… more??????

jerbear: i like you too bro

Player 1: no
Player 1: i mean i LIKE you

jerbear: oh…

Ok, that wasn’t the right to to send.

But the question is… do I feel the same way?

Player 1: jeremy??!!

jerbear: give me a min to think k

Player 1: !!!!

-

It’s now Monday morning and I’ve been looking at that message all night, trying to figure out what to say.

I begin typing.

jerbear: 1) sorry i haven’t answered yet, i needed time to think
jerbear: 2) i like you too
jerbear: 3) i think i’ve been lowkey jealous of you hanging with rich

Player 1: woah man
Player 1: sweet
Player 1: wanna go out on a date????

I smile at the text.

jerbear: sure :)

Player 1: :))

jerbear: :))))
jerbear: date meaning you and i get stoned in your basement and watch a movie

Player 1: were gonna watch Docot Stange

jerbear: bro
jerbear: that’s gonna be so trippy

Player 1: ikik

jerbear

Dear Evan Hansen
  • Zoe: What?
  • Evan: No, it's just you're breaking up with me, I mean it's why you came over so--
  • Zoe: Breaking up with you?
  • Evan: I know, how presumptuous can I get, I don't even know if we're like, "dating officially," or whatever, which isn't even-- I don't know why I'm talking right now, you can go ahead and tell me, I'm not gonna cry and, like, start breaking things.
  • Zoe: I'm not breaking up with you.
  • Evan: Okay.
  • Evan: Thank you.
  • Zoe: Don't mention it.
  • Oh, Evan. <3

anonymous asked:

Hi so I asked about a week ago about a tic and it didn't get answered get answered so I'm gonna try again. I'm looking for a fic where dnp go to Florida I think and then they were pretending to date or something and dan asked why they never tried dating and then Phil said something that sounded really rude but he didn't mean it and they ended up getting together, thank you so much sorry if I'm bothering though

Back to Normal - When Dan joins Phil on a family vacation to Florida, Phil’s mother thinks they’ve finally gotten together, Dan panics and goes along with it...

-Rachel

Captain Canary`s kid-name
  • Mick: They name the kid Mick. Or Mika for girl. Any problem? I'm their best friend, I was best man at the wedding and I'm gonna be a godfather to all of their children. Hey I practically forced them to date each other.
  • Ray: No way. It`s going to be my name. I was the one who sent both of them on the right path when they wanted to go back to their old activities.
  • Martin: How abstract this achievement is, Mr. Palmer. Unlike that I've figured out how to get Mr. Snart from the time stream.
  • Rip: Wait a minute. You all have met each other thanks to me. That means i should be a godfather at least one of their babies.
  • Barry: Hey you. I did the best job for your meeting, Hunter. I lead Snart from villain to hero. You just made it a bit faster with you little trip.
  • Amaya: Are you serious? Sara is my best friend, and Leonard killed me ones. They both owe me.
  • Quentin: Hey, shut up all of you. This is my grandchild. The boy is after me and the girl is after my wife. No matter how much i`m scared about the last name.
  • Jax: Ok, Snart. So who it`s going to be?
  • *10 seconds later*
  • Snart: Which one of you has L-started name?
  • *silence*
  • Snart: That`s what i thought.
  • Ray: i`m okey with Laymond!
Undertale - Starter Sentences
  • SPOILER WARNINGS AHEAD! Please proceed with caution. As always, feel free to change any pronouns/words to your liking.
  • "You're new here, aren'tcha?"
  • "Golly, you must be so confused."
  • "Hey buddy, you missed some."
  • "Is this a joke? Are you braindead?"
  • "You just wanted to see me suffer."
  • "Ah, do not be afraid, my child."
  • "Welcome to your new home."
  • "Here, take my hand for a moment."
  • "I should not have left you alone for so long."
  • "Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie."
  • "I want you to have a nice time living here."
  • "I have seen it time and time again. They come. They leave. They die."
  • "I am only protecting you, do you understand?"
  • "Hmph. You are just like the others."
  • "Attack or run away!"
  • "I know you want to go home, but..."
  • "I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but... We can have a good life here."
  • "My expectations... My loneliness... My fear... For you, I will put them aside."
  • "Do not worry about me. Someone has to take care of these flowers."
  • "Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp."
  • "I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning."
  • "Hmm... Maybe this lamp will help you."
  • "He's playing poker by himself. He appears to be losing."
  • "I can't be your friend!"
  • "I guess this means I have to go out on a date with you?"
  • "All that pressure to succeed... Really got to her..."
  • "You know what would be more valuable to everyone? If you were dead."
  • "You think I'm gonna be friends with you, huh?"
  • "We're gonna be best friends!!"
  • "Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now!! Pound them to dust with your fists!!"
  • "Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something."
  • "Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?"
  • "Yes, she scrawls her name in the margins of the notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together, sharing a domestic life. Probability of crush -- 101%."
  • "Yeah, you gotta save your money for college and spiders."
  • "D-Dude... I can't... I can't take this anymore! Not like this!! Like, [NAME]! I like... I like, LIKE you, bro!"
  • "I found a gun in the dumpster!"
  • "He's like, my robot husband. He just doesn't know it yet."
  • "You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19-years old, and I've already wasted my entire life."
  • "Never interact with attractive people."
  • "Why do people find him so attractive? He's literally just a freaking rectangle."
  • "Future? What future? I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever."
  • "This was all just a big show. An act. [NAME] has been playing you for the fool the whole time."
  • "All so you would think she's the great person that she's not."
  • "Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming..."
  • "We could be like... Like a family..."
  • "You really are an idiot."
  • "Killing me is the only way to end this."
  • "If you let me live... I'll come back. I'll kill you. I'll kill everyone you love."
  • "Don't you realize that being nice... just makes you get hurt?"
  • "Let's go to the garbage dump!!"
  • "She's so confident... And strong... And funny..."
  • "I'm just a nobody. A fraud. All I've ever done is hurt people. I've told her so many lies, she thinks I'm... She thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am."
  • "If she gets close to me, she'll... She'll find out the truth about me. ... What should I do?"
  • "Let's roleplay it."
  • "I kiss her back... S...softly... I... l-look gently into her eyes... I START HOLLERING!! [NAME]!!! I LOVE YOU!!! [NAME]!!! KISS ME AGAIN, [NAME]!!!"
  • "...WHAT did you just say?"
  • "You don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore."
  • "[NAME]... I want to help you become happy with who you are."
  • "Anime is real, RIGHT?!"
  • "[NAME] and I finished our training early. Very early. So I sent her home. Very home."
  • "Is that your ex? Gee, that's rough, buddy."
  • "OH MY GOD. Will you two just smooch already?!"
  • "It's all your fault. It's all because you made them love you."
  • "Your life will end here, where no one remembers you..."
  • "No! I don't need anyone!"
  • "[NAME]... Do you know why I keep doing this? Why I keep fighting to have you around?"
  • "I'm doing this... because you're special. You're the only one that understands me."
  • "I care about you, [NAME]. I care about you more than anyone else in the world."
  • "I'm not ready for this to end. I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again."
  • "I'm so alone... I'm so afraid... [NAME], I... I... I'm so sorry."
  • "I always was a crybaby, wasn't I?"
  • "I wish I could tell you how everyone feels about you."
  • "I understand if you can't forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I acted so horrible. I hurt you. I hurt so many people. There's no excuse for what I've done."
  • "Maybe... The truth is... [NAME] wasn't really the greatest person."
  • "You're the type of friend I wish I always had."
  • "Take a deep breath. There's nothing left to worry about."