i mean i currently live with my parents but i am trying to save money okay

Forever an immigrant

In 1996, my dad was assigned to go work overseas at Samsung’s new semiconductor chip manufacturing plant in Austin, Texas. Initially, he was hesitant to go. It would mean uprooting his entire life, and plus he didn’t want his children growing up losing sight of their Korean heritage. But they sent him anyway, and thus began our family’s strange, but exciting new life in America, born out of my dad’s enormous sacrifice.

There were language barrier issues and little culture shock mishaps since the beginning, sure. Since the first grade, I remember starting off every new school year with a plea to not to embarrass myself by messing anything up with my English, to not give away the fact that I was different in any way from my classmates. But my dad’s fears came true as I gradually became more comfortable speaking English to my friends than speaking Korean at home. I knew the conversion became complete as soon as I started dreaming and thinking in English. It made my school life easier for me at the time, but looking back on it now, I wish I hadn’t been so quick to try to assimilate.

My mom and dad moved back to Korea when I left for college, their parental duties having been fulfilled by giving their kids that “coveted” American education. That’s why it came as such a shock to me when they casually dropped a bombshell — after 20 years of forming my life and identity in the US, they wanted me to come back to Korea after graduation. To them, it was expected that their kids would learn everything they could from America, then return to Korea and make use of what they’d learned.

I fought, cried, and argued with them for months. I was finally ready to enter the world I had worked so hard to be accepted by, and this felt like wiping out right before the finish line. Then, three months before graduation, my dad had a stroke and the decision was made for me. I finished school early and decided to forego the graduation ceremony because I knew what I had to do — I would be going back to live with my parents, at least until my dad got better and I gained some sort of idea about what I wanted to do with my life. We made an informal deal that I would stick it out for three years, and give my birthplace a chance. And like a dutiful daughter, I did what they asked me to, working and living for three years in a country that was now as foreign as America first was to me in 1996.

People in Korea often ask gyopos (Korean-Americans), “Which do you like better, Korea or America?” They look at me expectantly, jealousy in their eyes for my fluent English and American citizenship. I don’t know what answer they’re looking for. I usually laugh and give my stock response, one I’ve picked up from hearing so many times: “Korea is the most fun Hell, but America is the most boring Heaven.” It’s a desperate, vague attempt to appease both of my identities. Looking back on my words now, I’m ashamed. How did I live my life thinking this, so blissfully unaware? After the events of last night, I can no longer think of America as the heaven I once thought it was.

Three lonely but eye-opening years passed. I experienced the beautiful and ugly sides of Korea, traveled to nearby countries in Asia, and saw how privileged I was to be able to live this dual life. After I finally saved up enough money to move back on my own and secured a job in America, I made the leap. For the most part, repatriation has been a smooth transition, but I’m consumed by guilt and dread for the future when I think about the aging parents I left behind in Korea. Though they gave their reluctant blessing to let me have the life and career I’ve longed to have in America, their worries are ever-looming in the back of my mind. I want to prove to them that they made the right decision, but every day is a struggle to convince my parents that I am okay here, that I’m safe in a country 7,000 miles away from them. And now in the wake of Trump’s victory, the implications that a deeply racist nation elected him make it harder for me to justify my living here to them.

The past few years for me have been the most accelerated crash-course in learning what it means to be Korean-American, and last night felt like a “fuck you” to everyone who looks like me. An Asian immigrant, and a woman at that. It feels like the failed culmination of a 20-year struggle to fit in, of yearning to look like my white classmates, for someone to look at me and not think I’m completely out of place. I’m most afraid of people who I thought were my friends, but stayed silent and walked into the voting booth yesterday to cast a ballot for Trump. I knew America feared us, but this just confirmed it. It feels like a punch to the gut because it proves that my parents were right.

I’m lucky to have spent most of my formative years in California and to be currently living in the diversity of New York, but yesterday, my paranoia that the people around me don’t see me as part of their white America was confirmed. Even though my job has allowed me to surround myself with like-minded people, ultimately my carefully curated social media feed has allowed me to live this last election cycle in a bubble. But now that bubble has popped, and today feels like when the lights turn on at the club and you realize you’d been dancing with a dirty mop.

The most disturbing part about a Trump presidency is the fact that half the people who came out to vote agreed with a sexist, racist maniac — and half of all Americans stayed home and watched him get elected. And these people aren’t so visibly different from you, or me. Even the Hillary supporters right now, the ones who are looking for ways out by threatening to leave to Canada, are part of the problem. Now more than ever, we need white allies to step up and show their support for millions of Muslim, Black, Latino, Asian, and LGBTQ+ Americans who have always been — even more so today — living in fear. Something is incredibly broken when the immediate response to a new president-elect is “I’m scared.”

For the rest of us POCs, we have to keep living our lives and create art and make ourselves heard, because we can’t keep waiting around for America to do it for us. We’re a nation of immigrants and minorities, and we’re going to keep creating and building things that are going to be better than a fucking wall.

castieltaking-hobbits2gallifrey  asked:

I need more batman media but I don't know what to watch or where to watch it and Netflix took off Young Justice and Justice League :(:( do you have any fic recs or fun facts

A.  Blogs to follow if you haven’t already followed them, the first three write FREAKING AMAZING fanfic and the fourth creates THE BEST fanart I have literally sat and scrolled through these blogs for hours

@camsthisky (good GOSH I love her she writes so much about Dick Grayson)

@audreycritter

@preciousthingsareprecious

@laquilasse

B.  Random Fics to Read (and honestly there are so many more, I just can’t think of them at the moment):

1. The Acrobat Series 

by fishfingersandjellybabies http://archiveofourown.org/works/4079917

Look anytime anyone talks about how much Dick loves his family they’ve won my heart and soul. I especially like the Kori section.

2.  Mori Shej 

by dickiegayson  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12298375/1/Mori-Shej

OH MY GOSH.  I love this story so freaking much.  Ok, imagine if Jason Todd, after coming back from the dead and going through all that stuff with the Lazarus Pit and training, goes after Dick Grayson to get his revenge on Bruce.  Except when he shows up at Dick’s apartment, ready to kill the Golden Son, he finds something completely unexpected.  Jason has a lot of issues, Dick has a lot of issues (courtesy of the Blockbuster incident).  I have read and reread this story countless times, and I can never not cry because I love my broken sons so much.  There is a lot of anger, some cursing, much regret, and brothers being brothers.  And Dick is the sweetest most protective [redacted because spoiler] and Jason has a mushy heart after all.  It can stand as complete but I think the author is writing more?  Also, either before or after, or both, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqeNxdyp5CE and listen to the song.  It is my new favorite song and CAN YOU IMAGINE DICK SINGING IT OH MY GOSH

3.  the road will only be wide (the rain will never stop falling) 

by weird_bird (2weird4) http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610391/chapters/19743343

A collection of Dick and Damian moments.  So very beautiful.

4.  The Robins United Series, first story is Bird by Bird 

by laceymcbain  http://archiveofourown.org/works/2656487/chapters/5936243

…some hurt/comfort, Jason doesn’t know what the hell to do with his family, and they all insist on calling him brother.  *shrugs* family feels are my drug of choice

5.  Penny Lane 

by @jerseydevious  http://archiveofourown.org/works/11757690

Damian wants a horse, and drat I’m crying?  (tbh I cry very easily over my sons…but still)

6.  Sun Spot 

by Dawn’sEternalLight (@preciousthingsareprecious) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11748606

This fic is a quiet moment of beauty and rest for Dick and Damian.  Damian draws, and Dick watches his talented little bro.  There is sunlight.  You skin will clear and your crops will grow and any heartache you have ever had will be healed like magic!

C.  A bunch of fics by Kieron_O’Duibhir

1.  The Till-Then From the Ever-Since http://archiveofourown.org/works/3506603/chapters/7707866  

There is a problem in the Batcave, as in, younger versions of the Batfam keep turning up. It’s absolutely fantastic, and one of my favorite things is younger Jason being SO done with his older self and calling him out on stuff and being all protective of his brothers.  It gets better and better with every chapter.

2.  But a Walking Shadow http://archiveofourown.org/works/4259511/chapters/9641367

 So this story is not finished yet and the author takes waaay long to post updates on it but she has promised not to abandon it soo…It is Nightwing-centric, with a whole mess of comic Teen Titans making appearances.  The author has written a lot of stories about a world where Dick became a Talon, and in this tale Talon-on-the-run winds up on Earth-1 and Nightwing is trying to figure out who this apparent clone of his is.  Talon Dick has always intrigued me, and it is interesting seeing him and Nightwing face off.

3.  All the Roofs of Uncertainty http://archiveofourown.org/works/2273208/chapters/4994631

HOLY HECK this is one of my favorite Jason Todd fanfics EVER.  I love the description by the author “The one where Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.”  Jason is in the wrong spot at the wrong time, ie. He finds Dick bleeding to death and is forced to save him.  Tim and Damian make appearances.  Jason has anger issues.  That doesn’t stop him from caring.  Bruce and Jason hash things out in the most beautiful (painful) way.

4.  Wheel and Blade 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2492957

 In which Dick confronts Damian about his practice of taking weapons to school, and also gets slightly distracted by the idea of living in a vardo.  I love this story because it shows the best way to parent Damian—not by telling him no “because I said so” but by explaining and debating things like he is smart and capable.  

5.  I Pass the Night Watchman on His Beat http://archiveofourown.org/works/2326226

This is a cool one-shot of Dick and Amy, his partner on the Bludhaven police force.  I freaking love Dick being a cop.

D.  Okay now if you want something to watch:

 1.     Nightwing—The Series 

by ismahawk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o297A1wmys0

This is THE BEST Nightwing fan film I have ever seen.  I love the Dick Grayson in it—he’s got acrobatics, sounds like Jesse McCartney (Robin/Nightwing’s VA in YJ), and is quite handsome.  He fights, gets the stuffing beat out of him and keeps getting back up, has a bit of a temper, loves Barbara—perfection.  Watch it, you won’t regret it.  (Also Jason is there yay!  I will take him in any capacity I can get. And I kinda really like the actor for Bruce?)

2.     Red Hood: The Series—Episode One “Homecoming” 

by tenshunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BdVSgshgFA&t=136s

My favorite Jason Todd fanfilm!!!  Heavily featuring Tim Drake!  Look this adaption is fab, I love the actors and the dialogue and the fight between Jason and Tim (spoiler?)  As far as I know they are trying to put together a second episode.  Watch the video where Jason Todd tries to get people to donate money for it, its HILARIOUS

3.      Batman The Animated Series is on Netflix till September 1st.  I’m in the second season and love it a lot…Alfred is so freaking sassy!  

4.     Damian Wayne: Robins Fly at Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS30bYjVmL4

 It’s just five minutes and doesn’t have any dialogue, and it doesn’t come close to deserving an Oscar, but dang it it’s hard to find Damian stuff…and also seeing a little kid running around in the Robin costume made me realize that there is nothing I want more than to see Damian Wayne on the big screen, being all angry assassin kid, and Dick Grayson capturing him in a hug…

5. Gotham on Netflix

I am pretty sure you already watch this? But if not, DO!  It is AMAZING.  I love it so much, especially Bruce and Alfred and Selina Kyle

E.  Some things from Batman: Dark Victory

Okay I know he is a talented young acrobat and all but how the FUDGE did Dick get up on that chandelier?!  the kid can truly fly (yeah yeah, the stairs probably lead up to a hallway floor/balcony that Dick leapt off of but still) I wonder how many grey hairs the kid gave Alfred in those first weeks alone

On dark days I like to remember the time bby birb Dick Grayson caved in the Joker’s cheek with a well-placed kick.  My nine or ten year old son then proceeded to smash in the Joker’s teeth with a stick a few minutes later and it was amazing

You think I lied??  Nah my son Dick Grayson was cracking teeth and bones and witty puns from Day 1.  Go Robin!!!

Okay so just look at this picture.  Bby Dick is SO FREAKING TINY!!!  also very intense. OMG Batman’s fists are as big as his first son’s head!  *cue a very many feels in my heart*

F.  Random things I am including because I feel like it, and they all revolve around Dick Grayson mostly because he is my fave so…

1. Apparently some official websites say that Nightwing’s martial arts specialty is Aikido.  I do not think that word means what they think it means

2. “I close my eyes now for a few moments and I can see my parents riding the air current with me. Forever young. Forever strong. Their faces wide with excitement, big smiles on their faces, enjoying the adrenaline surge even more than I do. And there is one thing I am sure of … my parents would be proud of my life.” (Nightwing, Nightwing #141, 2008)  

3.   [Talking about Blüdhaven] “It’s a hopeless case. A lost cause. A town so mired in corruption and sin that it’s drowning … When Batman sent me here, I thought I’d solve one case and book. But then I realized … if I could make a difference here – well, that’d be something. This filthy old town needs me…. Surrounded by a dozen of my worst enemies. No way out. Nowhere to hide. The little brat was right. I do love it. (Nightwing, Nightwing Secret Files #1, 1999)

4.  There once was a dumb writer who thought killing Nightwing for real would be a good idea, and he tried writing toward that end, but everybody else was like hahahaha NO

5.  I used to hate when fic writers would shorten Damian’s name to Dami (kind of like how I majorly dislike when people shorten Sirius Black’s name to Siri, he is not an iPhone gosh).  But then I read a post on tumblr that said something about Dami actually meaning something in Arabic, something like blood or life-blood or heart blood…I can’t exactly remember what and maybe it isn’t even true but I choose to believe it is and that Dick knows exactly what it means and he calls Damian Dami as a way to show how special he is, how much Dick loves him.  Because Damian is his little brother/son and means the absolute world to Dick.  And Damian, though he pretends to despise all nicknames, absolutely LOVES that Dick calls him this

Quarter Life Crisis: Are you going through one?

 

Who knew there was such a thing as a quarter life crisis? Turns out there is an actual term for those feelings that settle in the pit of your stomach when you finally get around to doing adult things. You know that your heart sunk a little bit when you realized that those bills arriving were addressed to you and not your parents. Or how about that time that you set up your 401 (k)? It totally knocked the wind out of you, right? Maybe it didn’t but it turns out that a lot of people between the ages of 20-30 feel this pressure to be an adult, and this is causing everyone to freak the fuck out!

Somewhere in between graduating from college and setting your priorities straight you may have slipped into a….DUN DUN DUN! Quarter Life Crisis!

I have a feeling that I am currently in the throes of my crisis. Some of the telltale signs that your expressing a quarter life crisis is:

1)   Experiencing a lack of purpose in your life.

I am cant be the only that wakes up in the middle of the night after having a dream where I reenact Driving Miss Daisy with a cat as Morgan Freeman, and suddenly have no idea where I am. I do not mean literally, because obviously I am sleeping in my bed, but I mean figuratively on the road of life. After quitting my job as an investigator I have no idea what I am doing or where to go with my life.

2)   Comparing yourself to others

Now I know that I am not the only one that does this. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel inadequate compared to your friends or acquaintances that just got a promotion, new job, engaged, or who appear to have their life together. Especially since we live in a world that is so connected to social media. We can’t help but be bombarded my pictures, posts, and snaps of only the best in someone’s life.

3)   Everything appears to be too much to handle and you cant make a decision

There are so many tough decisions to be made when you are a grown up. Like, should you be responsible and set a bedtime or stay up all night watching Netflix and browsing Tumblr? Should you splurge on a great outfit or put money in a savings account in case of financial trouble? But more importantly you may have indecision about school programs or where you should live. It may accumulate in having indecision regarding your career or life choices.

There are definitely more signs that let you know that you may be in a quarter life rut, but mostly it is a feeling. It’s that feeling of having a want to do something more with your life but not knowing where to start. It’s the feeling that hits you in the morning when you wake up and you think, “Am I happy with myself and with my life?”

First things first, it’s okay to feel like this because truthfully most people do. Like, this thing wouldn’t have a term if most people where happy with their lives and knew exactly what they wanted to do. Contrary to popular belief you do not need to have all the answers. It can be hard living life without a road map but getting lost and exploring can be fun. Sometimes you start off thinking you should do one thing but realize that something else is more your style.

Secondly, take some time to unplug from the world! Put yourself first and realize that most people on social media only most the very best of their lives. Notice that you are valuable and amazing. Remember that you have things that are worth celebrating and never forget that you have worth. Sometimes we are too worried about other people and not worried about ourselves enough.

Lastly, kick it like Nike and do something! Just do it! Break the cycle of indecision by actually doing something. Explore and discover. Sometimes we get stuck with the “what if” or the “I don’t know” and never really try anything new. The first decisions are the hardest but set that bedtime, save that money, and pick that school program. Let us stop weighing ourselves down with inaction and kick it into gear.

So, even though we may be confused and unsure about life and it’s meaning, that is absolutely okay. We will get through this together!

You Saved Me Vigilante! Michael Part 4

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Warnings: This series will contain smut and violence. If you are uncomfortable with reading smut I will put a *** where is starts and again when its done so you can skip it if you want. OR if you don’t want to read it at all message me and i will give you a clean summary.

The next morning, the soft light filtering in from the window woke you up. It took you a second to realize where you were, but when you did you couldn’t help but smile. That smile got even wider when you realized Michael had fallen asleep next to you. 

You wanted to lay back down next to him, but you couldn’t. You had to call your boss and tell him you wouldn’t be able to make it in today. Realizing you both had slept until noon, you knew your boss would not be happy. You mustered up your best sick voice and gave him a call. You tiptoed out to Michael’s living room to find the home phone.

“Hello?”

“H-hi it’s y/n,” you replied

“Y/n where the hell are you?” your boss demanded.

“I’m really sorry Mr. Reed, I’m really sick and won’t be able to make it in today. I was throwing up all night and I just woke up.” you mumbled.

“Oh, well that’s okay then. I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied, “Take the time you need. Don’t need the germs getting everyone sick here.”

“Exactly sir,” you paused, “I’ll try to be back at work as soon as possible.”

“Well feel better,” he said before you said your goodbyes. You weren’t sure how much time you would have to spend laying low. Truthfully, you didn’t like missing work, as you really loved what you did, but after the night you had the idea of having a day or two off seemed nice.

“You should have gone into acting,” a husky voice said from behind you. You spun around to find Michael standing behind you, his hair a mess.

“Too bad I chose journalism instead of gracing the world with my talent,” you joked.

“Right,” he rolled his eyes with a smirk. Michael insisted on making you breakfast even though it was basically the afternoon. He made waffles, which happened to be both of your favorites.

“It’s funny,” you said, watching him pour the batter into the waffle maker, “Seeing you do normal stuff. I could never picture you doing real life stuff, and if I did, you always had the mask on.” 

Michael chuckled, “Well i don’t need to hide my identity from the waffle iron.”

“True,” you giggled, “So what do you do then? I mean job wise. I’d imagine kicking bad guys’ asses doesn’t make much money.”

“Not the way I do it,” he replied, taking a bite of his waffle, “I am a private investigator. It’s nice, I am my own boss, I work on my own schedule and the money is good.”  He took another bite then added with a smirk, “Plus I am pretty good at getting information out of people.”

“Yeah you could say that again,” you teased, taking a bite. You had to admit, he was a pretty good cook. Well, for waffles at least.

“How long do you think you’ll be able to stay out of work?” Michael asked as he finished off his plate.

“Probably just tomorrow,” you told him, “I don’t want to stay away for that long anyway.” As much as you liked spending time with Michael like this, part of you missed your apartment. I didn’t like the fact that these people were able to scare you out of it.

“Well try to get your stuff tomorrow,” Michael told you, “Going back tonight would be too risky.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you agreed. A silence fell over the two of you as Michael collected the dishes and washed them off in the sink. You watched him, finding yourself smiling softly at him. He wasn’t doing anything special, yet he made it look so pleasing. You never thought washing someone do the dishes would make you blush, but some how Michael made it look so good.

“So,” you began, your curiosity getting the best of you, “Why do you do this? What made you start?” Micheal’s face fell, his eyes darkening slightly and you wondered if maybe asking that wasn’t such great idea.

“It’s a long story,” he sighed. You could tell it wasn’t just that, that there was something more behind it.

“I’m pretty sure we aren’t busy today,” you pressed on lightly. You wanted to know, but if he really didn’t want to tell you you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“I guess you’re right,” he replied, “Might as well move to the couch and get comfortable.” You nodded following him over to the living room. You settled next to him, his knee brushing against yours, sending a current through you.

“I had been doing martial arts since I could walk,” Michael began, “But I never thought it would be more than just a hobby. But then my parents got murdered.”

“Oh my god Michael I’m so sorry,” you gasped. You couldn’t imagine what he must have gone through.

“Yeah,” he continued, “It was a robbery. They were on there way home after visiting me and some asshole tried to take their money and when they refused he shot them. I heard the gunshots outside my window and saw him fucking run away with their things as he left them to die.” You felt tears pressing at the back your eyes as you listened to the pain in his voice. You suddenly realized why he was so upset that you didn’t give your robber your purse. 

You put your hand over his, trying to comfort him. “I am so sorry,” you repeated, not knowing what else to say.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled before going on, “After that I got serious. I had so much anger and rage inside me from what had happened to them. I knew that if I didn’t channel it I would have gone down a very bad path. So I went away for awhile, and found someone to train me. To make me into something this city needs. When we felt I was ready, I came back and started to do what I do. I just wanted to protect people, but I realized this city is so much more corrupt than anyone could imagine.” 

He paused, staring down at his hands.“Sometimes I feel like I am not even making a difference,” he added softly.

“But you have Michael,” you insisted, “You’re right none of us know how bad it is, but we do feel like we were getting less safe. But you, you are making people feel safe again. I hear people at work talk about it, how they aren’t as scared to walk home anymore because they know you’re looking after them.”

He allowed himself to smile softly. “Thanks, it is nice to know that. It’s just hard because, I’m only one person and I can only do so much. I used to love this city, I still do I guess, but I’ve seen the absolute worst it has to offer. There’s so many horrible things, it makes me lose hope in the world.”

“Please don’t,” you urged, hating to see him upset like this, “Yeah you’re only one person, but you’re one person making a big difference and that isn’t insignificant. And yes this world is filled with shitty stuff, if it’s not in this city it’s in the next one. Being so exposed to it like you are can make it hard to see anything else, but I promise you there is good out there.”

“You think so?” Michael asked, his sparkling green eyes locking on yours.

“I know so,” you assured him, “There is good, sometimes it’s hard to see because good can be quieter than the bad that always seems to be flashing at us, but the good is always there. And it will always prevail.” 

“Thank you,” Michael said, running his thumb across your hand, “I think I needed to hear that.”

“Of course,” you replied, trying to ignore the blush in your cheeks from the contact. “I think meeting was a good thing, for me at least.”

“It depends on how you look at it,” Michael replied. You frowned a little, not sure if you should be offended by that.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m glad I met you, but I shouldn’t have come seen you again after that first night, I should have let you go,” he said, not making you feel much better. Noticing you were upset he continued, “It’s just not safe y/n, connecting you or anyone to me puts them in danger.”

“I don’t care about the danger, I care about you,” You insisted, scooting closer to him.

“That’s stupid.”

“Maybe. But why did you come back then? Why bother?” you asked.

“I couldn’t stay away,” he admitted, “I don’t know why but I just felt drawn to you. Clearly it was selfish of me to do, considering it got you kidnapped.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” you stated, “I’m glad you couldn’t stay away. I wanted you to come back the second you left.” Usually, you found it hard to be honest like that with someone you had feelings for, but with Michael it felt right. 

Michael was silent for awhile, holding your gaze with his stormy eyes that seemed to be seriously considering something. “I don’t want to have to stay away from you,” his voice was just above a whisper.

“Then don’t.” Once the words left you mouth, his lips were pressed to yours.

***

His hand cupped your face gently, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. Your head swirled as you breathed in his intoxicating scent of mint and evergreen. His soft lips moved perfectly against yours, like they were made to do so.

You suddenly realized you had been to wound up in his kiss that you hadn’t laid a hand on him. You quickly changed that, running your hands through his inky hair. His hands found your waist, pulling you to him.

You let out a quiet moan against him as he softly nipped at your lower lip. He guided your legs around his waist then gripped your butt as he stood up with ease, like you didn’t weigh a thing. He walked both of you into the bedroom, never letting his lips leave yours.

He gingerly laid you down on the bed, letting his lips graze your cheek. Moving to your neck, he kissed the skin, sucking it ever so slightly. Your hands found the hem of his shirt, tugging at it, telling him you wanted it off. He complied, breaking away from your skin for a second to yank it off and toss it to the floor. 

You ran your hands over his toned torso, loving the feeling of his skin on your finger tips. He helped you out of your shirt as well, letting it join his on the floor. You hadn’t been wearing a bra so his lips immediately were pressed against your chest. His tongue danced along your skin, eliciting soft moans from your lips.

His hand moved down your bare body, easily slipping under the hem of yours, well his, sweatpants. He rubbed your through your underwear, as he continued to suck on your breasts.

“Oh Michael,” you moaned. His fingers move quickly, making you bite your lip to prevent yourself from cumming too soon. Michael was getting antsy, completely removing the rest your clothing and his. Just the sight of his hard length was enough to leave you breathless. 

He reached into his drawer, pulling out a condom and rolling it on. He lined himself up to your throbbing entrance, looking at you for approval. You nodded quickly and he pushed into you, pulling a hiss from your lips.

“Are you okay?” he asked, stopping his movement immediately.

“Yes,” you assured him, “Just give me a second to adjust.” He nodded, moving himself slowly so you could get used to his size. Once you were feeling good, he picked up the pace. He bit his lip as he thrust into you, his green eyes clouded with lust.

He gripped your hips, pulling them up higher. The new angle allowed him to hit the sweet spot deep inside you. You gasped, feeling the pleasure inside you building to and unbearable level. His thumb found your clit, rubbing circles over the super sensitive spot.

“Michael!” you moaned, as your orgasm surged through your body.

“Oh fuck y/n,” Michael groaned as he released himself in you. After you were both finished, he pulled out of you and laid down beside you. As you tried to catch your breath a silence fell over the room. You couldn’t believe that had actually happened.

***

“I can’t believe that happened,” Michael said, as if he had just read your mind. Only from him, it didn’t sound like he meant that in a good way.

“Is that a bad thing?” you asked, nerves creeping up in your stomach. Michael sighed heavily, which didn’t make you feel any better.

“I don’t know if I should have done that,” he said wearily, “I don’t know if this can work and I can’t let myself fall for you. I guess I actually don’t want you falling for me. It’s not fair of me to let you do that.” Nothing he was saying was particularly mean, but it still stung you.

“Michael I am a big girl I can manage,” you said, trying to sound strong.

“I know I just-” he sighed trying to find the right words, “I just don’t know if I can live like this.” 

“I know the risk,” you replied.

“But you don’t,” he snapped, causing you to jump, “I’m sorry y/n but I- I just can’t put you in danger like this. I think I need some time alone, to think about this.” You nodded, at a complete loss for words. You redressed yourself quickly, trying your best to hold back the tears.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, ushering you to his bedroom door, “If you need something I’ll be here but please stay, It’s not safe for you to go yet.” You nodded, then he closed the door, separating you from him. You knew he was just a few feet away, but you never felt so distant from someone. 

Now that he couldn’t see you, you let the tears roll down your face. You sulked over to the couch trying to wrap your head around what had happened. You liked Michael, much more than you cared to admit, especially since you had just met him. You couldn’t explain this deep connection you felt to him. You thought he had felt it too, but now you couldn’t be sure of anything.

You sunk into the fabric of the couch, wishing it would just suck you up so you could be anywhere but here. You flipped on the TV, trying to hold yourself together as the day faded away, leaving you in a haze of sadness and confusion as you tried to figure out what your future with Michael would be - if there was going to be one at all. 

"Dan. I care about you," Phil paused for a second. "A lot."

“I’m scared.” I said to Phil, I was currently sitting on his bed hugging my knees. I had been planning this day for months, even years, and now that it was here I couldn’t feel any more sick to my stomach. 

“Of what?” Phil asked, sitting on the bed across me with his legs crossed. 

“I’m scared someone’ll find me and then get mad at you.” I said, shakily. 

“Who’ll look for you in Manchester?” He asked. 

“No one. But what if someone does. What if my parents put one of those national messages on the TV to get me to come home and then someone recognizes me here?” I thought up some of the worst possible situations.

“Dan, you’re over 18. Even if they find you they can’t force you home.” He assured me. I nodded my head, repeating his words over and over in my head. 

It had been three years since I first came out as Bisexual to my parents and ever since, living with them was like a living hell. They hated the fact that they had given birth to a queer child and couldn’t get their heads around it. 

It had drove some of my close friends away as well. The fact I was brought up in a small gated community didn’t help either since everyone was straight and pushing the boundaries was like breaking the law. 

But Phil was always there to support me and all of my decisions. 

“What about the future?” I asked, my voice cracking half way through and tears falling from my eyes. 

“What about it?” He asked. 

“What am I gonna do, I can’t just live in your house forever.” I said, so monotone that it was almost a whisper. 

“It could be your house too.” Phil whispered, matching my quiet and scared voice. I looked at him for a second, not being able to tell if he was being truthful or not. "You could live with me and go to University, here.“ He responded to my confused look. 

"Really?” I pretty much croaked out.

“Yeah. We could be flat mates.”

“But that means I have to pay rent and I don’t have very much money to live off of.” I said quietly, ashamed of the balance of my savings account. 

“Its okay. That stuff doesn’t matter.” Phil said. “Your health is more important.” He said to me. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my breathing pattern all together.

“This doesn’t effect my health.” I mumbled, trying to be logical.

“It effects your mental state. Which is classified as your mental health, Dan.” Phil explained to me.

“Who cares about me anyway?” I raised my voice slightly, throwing the pillow I was hugging to the floor. All the emotions inside of me were welling up and I had been holding them inside for so long. I burst out into tears, burying my face in my hands, tears were streaming out of my eyes. I was full on sobbing and I felt horrible. Phil rested his hand on my shoulder.

“Dan. I care about you,” Phil paused for a second. “A lot.”

-Au where Dan runs away from home-

{Please don’t remove original credits}

[Inspired slightly by Stockholm syndrome by One Direction]