i mean i can totally picture them like this back then

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

in which jack and shitty accidentally date

based on a dream I had, I present: a short semi-fic about Jack and Shitty and their day-long, beautiful relationship.

Basically, this is what happens:

At a kegster during their freshmen year, in which Shitty is running around being the life of the party even though he’s a freshman, Jack is also in attendance– talking to Berger and Marsh in the kitchen. Jack is there, partly to keep an eye on Shitty, partly because he is surprised by how much he does like some of the guys on his team, mostly because they had won today and Jack is in quite a good mood. Not a good enough mood that he is going to risk going into the living room where music is blasting, but in a good enough mood that he is holding a solo cup of beer and chilling in the kitchen, chatting with Berger and Marsh. He is at ease as Jack ever is– laughing good naturedly as they tease both him and each other and of course, this is when the trouble starts.

The trouble is this: Marsh is drunk and excited that Jack has actually shown up to a Haus kegster and since Jack seems to be in a good mood, Marsh decides to take a risk and ask Jack a Question. More specifically, Marsh rams an friendly elbow into Jack’s ribs and goes:

“Yo, Zimmermann, you like anyone on campus yet?”

A few months prior, that question would have made Jack freeze up. But now, Jack smiles easily (because honestly, it is a rather respectful question– “like” instead of “fuck”; “anyone” instead of assuming “girl”) and he certainly doesn’t want to get into his romantic history or lack of crushes so he smiles, shrugs, and says

“Nah, love’s shitty,” It’s still friendly and he smiles and asks Berg about his crush that the whole team knows about and that should be that.

The problem, however, is that what Alex Berger and Carter Marsh heard was not “Nah, love’s shitty,” but “I’m in love with Shitty.”

Which, of course, is a much bigger deal. 

Keep reading

Prompt 1

Original headcanon by @ harry-is-lily-ginny-is-james!!!

It’s still monday! …for a half an hour anyway. This one ended up being much bigger than I originally planned. I hope you like it~



“It’s all the paper talks about anymore,” Draco frowned, “Stupid Potter.”

“We’re agog,” Blaise said pouring himself and Draco a cup of coffee.

Pansy smothered a yawn and picked up a piece of toast, “Do tell.”

Draco folded his paper, eyes scanning past the picture to the drivel written below, “Potter’s going to join the auror’s, change the world,” he grumbled, “you’d think the sun shines out of his arsehole the way they go on about him.”

Pansy rolled her eyes.

“Couldn’t agree more,” A voice said behind him from the Ravenclaw table, “that Potter’s a total pillock.”

“Exactly-” Draco turned on his bench, his words choking off before they were halfway out of his mouth.

“I really don’t know what they see in him,” Potter said flatly, taking a massive bite of pancake.

Luna smiled absently at Potter’s side, “I don’t know, I’ve always thought he was quite nice.”

Potter picked up his pumpkin juice, “To-tal pil-lock.”

Draco felt his face go hot and he spun around back to his plate. Blaise quickly picked up his coffee cup to hide a growing smile. Pansy snorted, almost choking on her toast, she ducked her head and fumbled for her cup.

Draco grabbed his bag and left the table with an imperious sniff.

Keep reading

Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

The tragic story of too much info about the sexual relationship of your best friends or why Alya will forever regret trying to kill Adrien

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lunian !!!!!!! Remember when we talked about this? Well, I couldn’t resist writing it. I hope you’ll like it. Crack ahead. And if the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, this has some sexual references in it. Nothing happens, but many are said.


“ADRIEN FUCKING DEAD AGRESTE!”

All the people who were still in the courtyard of the Collège Françoise Dupont run for the hills (or in this case, the school building) as Alya Césaire appeared and walked towards her best friend’s boyfriend with all the might of a storm.

“Dude, I think she means you.” Nino stage-whispered to his best friend as his girlfriend made a beeline towards them.

“But my middle name is Bartholomé.” Adrien argued.

Nino rolled his eyes. His best friend really needed to set his priorities straight. “That’s what worries you?”

Adrien gulped. “Burry me in a polka dotted coffin, please.”

Nino was under the impression he wasn’t kidding in the slightest. “Sure, if there is anything left to bury.”

“There won’t be!” Alya snarled as she lifted Adrien by the neck.

Well, this morning is certainly bound to be interesting, Nino thought.


One day, Marinette will be on time to school. One day. Today wasn’t that day. As Marinette speed walked through the school yard she couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, Adrien was being strangled by Alya… wait a second.

“Alya!” Marinette shouted, rushing towards them. “Put him down.”

Her best friend was obviously not happy to have to delay her murder. Meanwhile, Nino considered if he should stop filming the whole thing. If Marinette was here, then maybe there won’t be need of proof for the police for a murder. Though, let’s be real, he would never turn his girlfriend in. He would have just posted the video on YouTube in his collection of An Infinity of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Alya Off. If he was recalling correctly, this video would be number 2749.

“Alya, what is going on? Why are you strangling my boyfriend.” Marinette questioned crossing her arms, while Adrien was gasping for air on the ground.

“Marinette,“ Alya’s tone was regretful and the sad look in her eyes indicated something bad was coming. “I’m sorry to say this honey, but he is cheating on you.”

And in that moment, Marinette felt her whole world crashing down. “What?! With whom?”

Marinette was dying to hear that answer. Who? Did Adrien really cheat on her? Was it some rabid fangirl who jumped at his bones and Alya just got the wrong impression?

Alya sighed. “With Ladybug.”

Marinette blinked. “Damn.” both her and Adrien whispered maybe a little too loudly. Thus Adrien choked, cause he still didn’t regain his proper breathing.

“That’s… unexpected.” Marinette managed to say, trying to think of something plausible to get them out of this situation. She knew it was a bad idea to make out when only one of them was transformed. Damn Adrien and his filthy thirst for her spots. “It isn’t a problem, though, cause… um… this is… an… open… relationship.”

Oh well, not the worst excuse she could have had come with. Alya crossed her arms obviously expecting an explanation while Nino muttered a ‘dude’ under his breath. That’s when Adrien decided to be a supportive boyfriend.

“Yeah. Marinette has her fun times with Ladybug too,” he said, raising his index finger as if that would help him make a point while he was still laying on the ground.

Why is he like this? Marinette sighed internally.

Alya turned to Marinette with an expression that was a mix of shock and anger. “You are hooking up with Ladybug and you didn’t tell me?!”

Marinette glared down at Adrien, who looked sheepish. “Yeah. And don’t forget about Chat Noir.”

“Chat Noir?” both Alya and Nino screamed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” Marinette stated, looking at Adrien, who finally picked himself off the ground, with a mischievous look. “Why don’t you tell us about your escapades with Chat Noir, Adrien?”

Her boyfriend laughed nervously. “What escapade do you mean?”

Marinette smirked. “Well, you did tell me that Chat Noir found you wearing cute yet sexy Ladybug lingerie.”

At this point, Nino had to turn off his camera, unable to hold his phone anymore. “Dudeeeee.”

Alya, to everybody’s surprise, was silent until now. But there was as much as the shock could keep her from asking. "But what about Ladybug?”

“Oh, she thinks the same” Marinette replied calmly while analyzing her nails.

“No, no, I mean, I thought Chat only loves her.”

“Oh that… well, who can resist this model ass?” she asked rhetorically while slapping Adrien’s ass for emphasis. Nino nodded vigorously as well. Honestly, wasn’t it universal knowledge everybody loved Adrien’s ass?

Adrien glared at Marinette. Not for smacking his ass, mind you. He loved getting his ass smacked by her. But for making fun of his taste in lingerie. Well, if this is how she wanted to play, so be it then. “Of course. So if we are discussing this topic, why don’t you mention that time when Chat caught you wearing lingerie inspired by his outfit?”

’Well, don’t try hiding the fact that once you begged Ladybug to tie you with her yoyo.“ Marinette scoffed, trying to hide her blush. That had been an interesting night.

"I need a bucket,” Alya muttered, not sure what to think of her friends and her idol anymore.

“YOU CALLED CHAT NOIR’S DICK AS A BATON!” Adrien shouted louder than necessary, while blushing.

“I guess, I need one too” Nino said, wishing he will just forget everything that had been said so far. And from now on, because apparently Marinette and Adrien weren’t done.

“Remember when you told Chat Noir that you want a collar with a bell too?”

“Oh, really Marinette, should I remind you that one time when I walked on you and Ladybug and you were blindfolded?”

Nino glanced at Alya. “Are we kink shaming them now or later?”

“Then you asked us if you can be blindfolded instead and, I quote ‘used as your little sex toy’.” that had been a strange day. She had an urge to blindfold herself, Adrien came over unannounced and things escalated quickly and she discovered some new kinks of her boyfriend.

“I guess, if we die right here, right this second, they wouldn’t notice it.” Nino states, but Alya was unable to reply anymore, not sure what to make out of this whole conversation.

“You begged Chat Noir to slap you with his tail belt.” Adrien argued back, while his face was putting any ripe tomato to shame.

Marinette screeched. “YOU WERE WEARING MY FAVORITE PINK STOCKINGS.”

“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.”

"I’m sure it totally does.”

Adrien scoffed, crossing his arms. “But you can deny they suit me.” he knew she liked them. She even said so that night. They had been a little tight, but she had made him a matching pair better fit for his height.

"Jesus, how many moments like this do they have?” Nino questioned, clearly shocked by how kinky his bro was. And he was sort of afraid fo the answer, if he had to be honest.

“What’s more important, why are we still listening to this mess?” it was Alya’s turn to ask questions that will never get answers. “I’m not even sure if I want to use this thing as blackmail or just erase it from my brain forever.”

“To be honest, it would be much better if Adrien really just cheated on Mari with Ladybug,” Nino said hesitantly, obviously scared of Alya’s reaction. “I mean, I wouldn’t have forgiven him if he ever did that, but at least, in that case, us, innocent bystanders wouldn’t have to be traumatized for life.”

Alya could only nod. Honestly, the mental picture fo Adrien in Ladybug themed lingerie left her with brain damage.

After what seemed like an eternity Adrien and Marinette finished their not so little argument, both huffing and as red in the face as the surface of Mars. Not that anybody would say that out loud, given how much of a nerd Adrien is, he would come with some science facts about the color of the surface of Mars.
.
“So yeah, we have an open relationship.” Marinette concluded, the two of them finally turning to their best friends.

“We got it after the reminder about Chat Noir, thank you.” Nino said, sarcastically.

“Now get outta of my sight, my poor brain had dealt enough with your kinks for now and forever.” Alya ordered waving her hand desperately while rubbing her temple with her free hand.

“Well, if you didn’t want to kill me, none of this would have happened.” Adrien said with a smug smirk.

Alya snarled. "Next time neither Marinette or even fucking Ladybug won’t stop me, Agreste.”

Adrien gulped. Marinette slapped him compassionately on the ass.

accidentally?

Based on this prompt I said I’d fill a few days ago:

boss: “know why I called you in here?”
me: “because I accidentally sent you a dick pic”
boss: “accidentally?”

yup.

(on ao3)

“You need to stop pining after people you haven’t even spoken to,” Lydia says one day, probably because Derek—er, Mr. Hale, their boss—has just stepped through the front door of the cafe where they’re having lunch, and Stiles has trailed off mid-word to watch him walk up to the counter. In Stiles’ defense, he’s never seen Mr. Hale outside of the office before, let alone Mr. Hale wearing a leather jacket over his dress shirt. God, and Stiles thought the tailored suits were bad enough…

Anyway.

“Uh, I have too spoken to him,” Stiles says indignantly, tearing his eyes away from Derek’s broad back across the room. “One day I was coming out of the break room and I almost walked right into him and he said, ‘Excuse me,’ so then I said, ‘Oops,’ and he smiled at me. Kind of. A little bit. I mean, I interpreted it as a smile. There was some prolonged eye contact.”

Lydia abruptly stops stirring her fat-free latte to stare at him—one of those Oh god, it’s worse than I thought kind of looks. “That’s it?”

Keep reading

In This Light (Part 1)

Summary: Model!Bucky AU with Photographer!Reader. This is your meeting with Bucky, and how your friendship developed into something more.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader (main); Steve x Reader (side)

Word Count: 4,658

Warnings: None.

A/N: This is a re-write of  Dean fic series I never finished. Here’s hoping that I will have motivation to finish this storyline with Buckaroo. Hope you all enjoy! Also, I don’t claim to know how the photography/fashion world works, I’m just… Sorry if there are mistakes. 


“Alright, children, enough chattering!” A large woman with bushy blonde hair and overdone makeup stared down at her sixth-grade Earth and Space science class. She was frowning and it was only the first day of classes. She was already feeling the headache that was sure to make itself known by the end of the week. “Settle down!” she bellowed.

At her shrill voice, silence overcame the room and everyone found empty seats to call their own. She gave them all a wide, forced smile in gratitude. “Welcome to Earth and Space Science! I am Mrs. Paulson and I will not tolerate any unruly conduct in my class. You will be wise to be on your best behavior while you’re in my class. If you aren’t, a detention slip with your name on it will be waiting for you by the end of class. Do I make myself clear?”

A drone of agreements reached her ears and she gave a grin of satisfaction. Some kids thought her wolf-like. She clapped her hands once before picking up a stack of papers, licking her forefinger to separate the sheets. Oblivious to the grimaces of her students as she handed them their syllabus, her voice thundered through the room. “Learn it, live it, love it. I will always abide by the schedule you find there and everything that will be required of you is written on that very sheet. Is that understood? There are no excuses!”

Keep reading

Zelda in BotW is an amazing character. If I had to make a list of the 10 best characters in the LoZ games, I have a hard time imagining she wouldn’t be on it. And nearly everything I’ve seen from other people who have played the game has been bursting with positivity and appreciation for this Zelda. 

However, I’m unfortunately not surprised to have eventually run across someone calling her “a miserable cunt” and a “shitty little shit bag” who is “demoralizing [Link] into oblivion” with over 100 people liking/reblogging their post. 

There are a couple of things to say in response to this. For starts, Jesus christ calm down. It’s wild to me how ready people are to hate characters for almost anything (and it overwhelmingly happens with female characters–jeez I wonder why). And second, did we even play the same game? Because you know what the WORST we ever saw Zelda acting towards Link was? 

That’s… that’s it. She told him she didn’t need an escort and shouted at him to stop following her. And this wasn’t just the worst that Zelda ever acted towards Link. It was also the ONLY time we saw her shouting at him or being mean to him. Was it rude/crummy/something Link didn’t deserve? Totally. Was it her being ~a miserable shitty little shit bag cunt that fucking destroyed Link’s sense of self worth~? Hell no. How the hell do you extrapolate THAT MUCH out of such a small scene? 

Just to help paint a larger, and more negative picture of Zelda, let’s talk about another memory. In the first memory, which was of Zelda preforming the ceremony to appoint Link as her knight, Zelda was acting very clearly depressed during the whole thing. That would have conveyed to Link how unhappy Zelda was with him being her knight, which would have surely made Link feel shitty. So there, that’s something else people who hate this Zelda can point to. But you know what? If you want to analyze things like this, Link also made Zelda feel shitty. Oh, sure, we all know that Link made Zelda feel shitty because of her own insecurities about being a failure of a royal princess while Link had successfully become the master of the Master Sword. But Link’s own behavior also made Zelda feel shitty. We saw in the third memory that Zelda would try to talk normally with Link. Talking casually and cheerfully about making adjustments to one of the Divine Beasts because that’s what she was passionate about! But Link… would never say anything back in response. He was silent. He was her appointed knight, but he wouldn’t even talk to her when she tried to talk to him. In fact, at that point Link had NEVER spoken to Zelda, as she expressed in her diary 

Imagine if their situations were reversed, and we saw Link talking to Zelda and Zelda refusing to respond to him and just staring at him with a blank expression–and then Link wrote in his diary about how stressful that was for him and how it made him feel like she thought he was a failure and hated him. The people who hate BotW Zelda would be jumping on that as an example of what a bitch Zelda was to Link. Even though when Link did it to Zelda, there’s no problem whatsoever apparently. Link was just a smol little precious angel that was cowering beneath Zelda’s “toxic belittling and dominance,” as one person described it. 

(And real quick… you know who was ACTUALLY “belittling” and “demoralizing” Link? Fucking Revali. You know, the guy who would walk right up to Link and go on a giant, passive aggressive and mockery-filled rant at Link about how he’s better than Link and Link doesn’t deserve the expectations that others have of him. I still think Revali is a solid character because it’s good to have a diverse cast with varied personalities and different relationship dynamics with each other. But for crying out loud, how is anyone going to hate on Zelda for how she acted towards Link early on when Revali was there being a straight up dick with 0 tragic character motivation behind him to make us sympathetic to why he acted like such a wad?) 

Of course I don’t believe that Link deserves any hate for being silent around Zelda for so long. Just like how I don’t believe that Zelda deserves any hate for the way she acted towards and felt about Link in the early memories. They were two youths who had the weight of the world placed upon their shoulders. Link’s ability to express himself was crushed by the weight of the expectations and judging eyes of everyone around him. Zelda lost her mother, was denied expressions of love from her father, was terrified that she was a failure who would doom the world to destruction because of her inability to access her powers, and was was stuck with a successful, brilliant knight who she assumed hated her and had no way of being told otherwise because HE WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER. 

But despite all that the two became close. Link saved Zelda’s life. Zelda reevaluated how she thought of him and even apologized for her past behavior 

Zelda made an effort and kept talking to him, trying to get him to open up to her. And eventually he did, and she was able to learn the reason why he wouldn’t talk to her, or anyone, in the past. They traveled together. She examined his wounds after battle. They went out to collect specimens in the fields together. Zelda tried to get Link to lick a frog in the name of science. Link taught Zelda how to bond with her horse. They saw their home fall to Calamity Ganon and learned of the deaths of their family and friends. Their world collapsed. They fled. They defended each others’ lives, each saving the other. Zelda spent 100 years suffering alone to contain the abomination that destroyed their land while Link recovered from the injuries he gained protecting her. They fought together again. They freed Hyrule from 100 years of darkness and set out once again to rebuild their kingdom together. 

But yeah. Zelda was such a cunt, right? 

I mean, you can’t please everyone. That’s just to be expected. People are different. People have different attitudes and values, and like and enjoy different things, so there’s no piece of media that everyone will have the same thoughts and feelings on. It’s like how on the Nintendo eShop, BotW for the Wii U has 4719 five star reviews… and 21 one star reviews. You can’t please everyone. But again, jesus christ some people are just ready to violently hate Zelda for having extremely well developed character flaws and a rocky start to her relationship with Link that was the result of both of their individual issues clashing and preventing them from connecting and understanding each other even though they both felt nearly the exact same way. And even if you want to insist that everything bad about their early relationship was 100% Zelda’s fault alone, I wonder how Zelda could possibly make up for it… maybe putting in the effort to develop a very positive relationship with Link, saving his life just as he had saved hers, and spending 100 years in Ganon Jail would be enough to make up for it? 

…nah. You’ve got to imprison yourself for at least TWO HUNDRED years to make up for telling someone to stop following you one time. Totally. 

Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7

Talks Machina Highlights - Liam’s Quest Part 2
  • This week’s Denise message: “If you were at Wondercon I was right beside you the whole time.”
  • No Talks Machina next week! Brian and Ashley will be on vacation. Marisha hints that there might be “a thing” in place of the show next week.
  • Advance heads-up on the new Vox Machina shirt! Info for buying will be on Thursday.
  • Little segment filmed at WonderCon where Brian quizzed CR cosplayers with a variety of trivia questions, including, of course, “What is Scanlan’s mother’s name?”
  • Travis abandoned the party four times in this episode. (everyone starts singing “True Colors”) The word “sausage” was uttered seven times, and the word “spaghetti” five times. 
  • Brian brings a picture of himself as a teenager to make everyone feel better about their own pictures that’ve been circulating since the episode. Travis: “Is that sharpie on your chin?”
  • Liam started planning this game before Stranger Things came out, so it was a bit more inspired by “It”.
  • A long time ago, Liam sent pictures of himself as a teenager to everyone in the text thread and they all responded by sending their own childhood/teen pictures back to him, but he couldn’t find that thread when he was setting up the oneshot. He had excellent one-line notes he sent to the artist for each of them.
  • Travis: “I might’ve tried to fight something, but I had no weapons. I had an inhaler.”
  • Liam: “I felt like I balanced it really well with a party of level ones and a demogorgon.”
  • The oldest kids in the game were the youngest IRL; it was just a switch.
  • Brian asks how intimidating it was to have Matt as a player. “Answer your question as though he weren’t sitting to my left in pajama pants.”
  • Kid!Liam was the dead body under the tree. The old man was also Liam. The idea was that Liam kept trying to be there with them through the dimensional shift, but there was already one Liam in that particular time, so squish.
  • One of the few places where there could’ve been a big divergence in the plot was if they’d managed to sneak up on old man Liam–he would’ve traveled with them.
  • Liam to Marisha: “Oldest or youngest, you’re still the toughest motherfucker in this group.”
  • Travis running away throughout the episode was true to life: he ran out of The Neverending Story, Jurassic Park, wouldn’t ride roller coasters, and didn’t see an R-rated movie until he was like 15. Marisha mentions that his reactions at Horror Nights are worth the price of admission.
  • Everyone got to pick their classes for the oneshot. Ashley picked rogue because it felt like what she would’ve been like IRL. Liam: “But you surprised us all and smeared yourself in blood and gore and screamed at the devil.” Everyone agrees that there may have been a multiclass there.
  • Unexpected things on Liam’s end: wasn’t expecting Ashley to be as metal as she was. Wasn’t expecting all the bowing to Satan. He wants to keep some of it ambiguous, but the group didn’t behave exactly the way he thought they would at the end. 
  • The crew was in on the last five seconds, but the lead-up defined what those last five seconds would mean. He’d thought about continuing the metaverse thing indefinitely, but with the way it wound up ending, he thought it was a pretty satisfying finale.
  • Marisha: “I’m an utter dumbass–” Ashley: “No, you’re not!” Long pause. Marisha, turning to Travis: “I’m an utter dumbass–” Travis: “Yes, you are.”
  • Ashley and her best friend put a full bottle of dish soap in the fountain outside the courthouse in Burbank. It bubbled up way more than they expected and was on the news. That was the tamest story she could tell from her teenage years.
  • Liam randomly selected which of them would die first in the demogorgon fight.
  • Brian asks Matt whether experiencing a TPK as a character made him less inclined to possibly cause a TPK with the main campaign. Matt, offscreen: “No.”
  • Marisha has a new tattoo on her wrist that’s the death saving throws indicator from the 5e character sheets.
  • Liam describing Marisha’s reaction to being squished: “It was like seven stages of grief… and then the bird over and over again.”
  • Liam got ideas from Neil Druckmann for specific lines to use to mess with Ashley.
  • It was a little over 20 minutes total of the speak-and-spell voice. Liam knew going in that Travis in particular would just lose it, which made it easier to slip in the more intense stuff. He’d had a lingering cough for a few weeks and was worried he wouldn’t be able to do the voice because he knew the scene wouldn’t quite have the same sort of tragicomic punch without it.
  • The crew was cued in on the phrase “Are you guys ready to play?” at the end.
  • Everyone agrees that they would’ve been good friends had they met as kids.
  • Liam on advice for new DMs who are nervous about trying something really off-the-wall. “If you’re scared of something, that’s what you should be moving towards.” Liam missed a window to say something to someone he lost last year, and so this game was his chance to come right out and say what he wanted to say most to these people.
  • Brian talks about Critical Role has always been about choosing your own family, and how that really shone through in the one-shot. “It was brilliant storytelling and execution… and executions.”

Talks Machine in the dark:

  • Liam first did the speak-and-spell voice when he was eight or nine years old. His son can do it, too. Travis tries to do it and goes a little Wookie instead.
  • As a ranger, Travis would have an otter companion because he loves otters so much. Everyone immediately reenacts the cute otter videos they’ve seen.
  • A Youtube ad for cheese dippers starts playing on the screen with the fireplace. Chaos ensues.
  • Marisha has a lot of dreams of the cast getting caught in a tsunami or a flood. Liam and Ashley have both dreamt of the cast just playing D&D.
  • At the next charity stream, Brian will let the cast decide what he should wear for an episode of Talks Machina.
  • Liam on Sam vs. Matt’s respective Vicious Mockeries: “Sam’s are more dopey zingers, and Matt’s… made me really feel bad.”
  • Everyone likes pineapple on pizza except for Marisha and Brian.
  • In terms of fighting classic horror-genre movie baddies, Ashley and Liam want to fight Xenomorphs, Travis wants to fight Freddy, Marisha wants to fight It.
conflicted || clay jensen

prompt: 13reasonswhy16q7w asked: Your recent imagine was so good I was wondering if you could write one with clay were he slowly starts to fall in love with the reader but has a hard time with it because he feels like it’s wrong because of everything with Hannah but he gives in :)

warnings: swearing

a/n: hannah is alive in this imagine ! also i have about 3 more 13rw requests, im pretty excited i hope i can get them done. as always feedback is appreciated and requests are open


Clay had met you at the Crestmont Movie Theater. You had walked in alone and ordered a small popcorn with a drink. Clay had used Hannah’s trick and only put butter on the top of the popcorn. And soon enough, in the middle of the movie, you had came out and asked for more butter. You and Clay had started talking while Hannah was witnessing it. It turns out you were new to Crestmont, and had only moved there 2 weeks ago.

Once you said your goodbyes and gave Clay your number, Hannah had began to tease Clay. “You totally did the butter thing, which was a good idea. She’s really cute.” Hannah claimed, leaving Clay’s face a tomato red. So the next Monday, you started going to Liberty High and where you ran into none other than Clay Jensen. “Hey.” You greeted him with a bright smile on your face, leading to butterflies forming in Clay’s stomach. “Hey Y/N.” He greeted with an equally bright smile.

“So you come here now?” Clay asked, trying to make the situation less awkward. “Yes I do Jensen, and I was hoping you could give me a tour of the school.” You hinted, giving Clay a playful nudge. Clay let out a laugh before bringing his arm, motioning towards. “Shall we get started madam?” He asked to which you let out a laugh. As Clay gave you a tour of the school, he couldn’t help but notice your features. How you genuinely listened to him and smiled and laugh at his dumb jokes, especially his Star Wars ones. God he was developing feelings for you.

“Fuck.” Clay muttered but you heard him. “Something wrong?” You asked, Clay giving you a smile and reassuring you nothing was wrong. But something was wrong. Clay had always liked Hannah, and they were on good terms. Hannah may have even liked him back, but once you came into the picture he couldn’t help but feel his heart stop when he saw you smile. But Clay pushed away his feelings, brushing them off as a small crush and was nothing serious.

After a course of 2 months, Clay’s feelings for you had grown greatly, to the point where he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “You’re more nervous than usual.” You pointed out, as you and Clay walked home. For once he didn’t have that god damn bike. “What d-do you m-mean? I-I’m cool.” He replied, leaving to laugh. The two of you continued to walk in silence, until you spoke up. “So how are you and Hannah? You guys are a great couple.” Clay stopped walking. “Oh, Hannah and I aren’t a couple.” Clay clarified and you laughed. “Really, I could’ve sworn you guys were.”

“We’re not though. Hannah and I are kinda drifting apart, I realized I liked another girl. Hannah doesn’t know though. It seems wrong.” Clay explained and you nodded your head. “Do I know the girl?” You ask, the two of you still walking. “Pretty well.” Clay answers, laughing softly. Clay started thinking, would Hannah really minded if he and Y/N started dating? The three of them are best friends, and Clay would always tell Hannah everything, so Clay took a chance.

“Y/N, can I tell you something?” Clay asked and you turned to face him. “Of cou-” But you were cut off by Clay pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was passionate and long, so when the two of you both pulled away, you were both trying to catch your breath. “What the hell, who would’ve thought Clay Jensen liked me.” You smirked. “Well you’re pretty amazing.” Clay then walked you home and then off he went to his house and texted Hannah some good news.

so, my buddy littledivinity and i have been talking beauty & the beast a lot, because ‘tis the season, and we somehow stumbled upon the idea of the story being told about a middle aged belle and the beast instead of youngins, and how that would make the story even more resonant.

and then just now i randomly thought, “what if nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor starred in such a film?”, because my soul needs nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor to fall in love again on a movie screen like it needs few other things in this life. plus, you know, musical, bright colors, awesomeness, hurrah!

and then i thought, ‘but wait, actually, what i really want in this life, even more than brightly colored musicals, is more lowkey and lovely fairytale movies like exquisite and incomparable 1998 masterpiece ever after

and just picture it!

nicole kidman is the longtime spinster school teacher who lives in a quaint vaguely magical 19th century-esque country village, but she’s a badass teacher who exposes her students to different philosophies of thought and probably takes them outside for nature studies and calisthenics. (so, basically, miss stacy from anne of green gables.) the school board hates her, probably, and is very suspicious of what kind of IDEAS she’s filling the local kids’ heads with (why does she keep saying it’s okay for girls not to want to be wives and mothers, or that it’s all right for boys to cry???? is it possible that she is A WITCH???), but her parents were very well regarded in the town when they were still alive and so that bought her some respect for awhile. but there’s a new fancy schmancy family with school aged kids in town, and they’re extremely disapproving of miss nicole, and trying to find a way to oust her as schoolteacher and replace her with a man who is probably very similar in temperament to mr. collins from pride & prejudice. a man who will put patriarchal gender roles back into childhood education!

meanwhile, ewan mcgregor is a grumpy old hermit duke or something who once had great wealth and privilege but has fallen into disrepair. maybe someone cursed (magically? complicated vengeance-ly, a la the count of monte cristo? who knows) his family long ago due to their shady rich people business dealings, and his father killed himself to escape the scandal and his mother died of heartbreak and his fiancee who he thought loved him steadfastly dumped him to marry another, and now ewan’s the last surviving member of his once-great family and he just lives alone this grand old manor house that has gone totally to seed. he isn’t an actual beast, because it seems like in this day and age that’s going to require levels of CGI that my quaint b&tb retelling movie just don’t need, but let’s say that he’s quite unshaven and dirty and generally off-putting and he sometimes ventures out into the forest that separates his estate from the village, but is never seen actually frequenting the village. there are abundant rumors that the forest and manor house are haunted by a beast/ghost/warlock/vampire (how does he SURVIVE if he doesn’t come to the weekly market for food???), and everyone knows you don’t go there. also, people like to gossip a ton about his family and the scandal even though it was decades ago and they all dead. because people suck.

so one night, some of nicole’s rowdy teen pupils maybe steal some wine from one of their parents’ liquor cabinets and venture into the woods and dare each other to go past the gate of his manor house, and he catches them at it and gets HELLA PISSED @ THESE UPPITY HOOLIGANS INVADING HIS PROPERTY. kids today!!!!!!!!! he probably locks them in the stables so he can deliver them a 5 hour lecture on why they suck, and also why all of humanity sucks. which isn’t the worst fate ever, but, like, he kind of looks like a straight up crazy ax murderer (crazy hair! crazy beard! tattered clothes! definitely hasn’t bathed this month!!!), so there’s some serious panic in the hearts of these kids.

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anonymous asked:

Do you think Neil has a binder (solely) for Andrew (and him) and one for his Foxes? What's inside the binder(s)? And ohh btw I just simply love your hc about the photos ((and i want more bec i love you and your hcs so much))

thanks bb <3

(neil only got the binders because he can’t cover every spare inch of the walls of their apartments in photos and articles - even he recognises that it would make it look like a serial stalker’s den. yes, andrew’s slightly judgmental expression did help him to reach that conclusion)

anyway, a list of some of the contents of neil’s post-graduation binders:

  • every photograph and article about kevin day neil can get his hands on - and there’s a lot of them. kevin holding trophies, kevin with his teams, kevin and thea in elegant clothes at big events, kevin smiling in a way that starts fake but gets more real as the years pass. kevin, alive. kevin, victorious. kevin with everything that riko tried to take from him. (enough of them that andrew made a dry comment or two about neil at least being predictable in his obsessions) (he’s quietly satisfied by the progression, too)
  • articles on robin, as both a fox and afterwards, concrete proof of neil’s work as a captain and andrew’s…something neil isn’t quite sure of sometimes, still. photos of her standing tall and proud, no trace of the mousey child who was nearly too afraid to be a fox
  • a collection of postcards addressed to them both in renee’s neat hand - pictures of mountain ranges and jungles and forests and deserts and cityscapes, ones that still make neil think about a different kind of travel than the frightened bolt he and his mother did across half the planet all those years ago with that vague kind of longing for something different
  • the entire photographic coverage of allison’s first fashion show (neil was there, which meant andrew was there. unsurprisingly, andrew ‘i wear designer clothes’ minyard found it more interesting than neil ‘the height of fashion is my partner’s oversized hoodie and these jeans that i’ve had for ten years’ josten)
  • a heavy piece of cream card inviting neil and andrew to the wedding of nicholas hemmick and erik klose (they went. neil had never seen nicky happier)
  • a picture of matt and neil hugging on the court after eschewing the more normal post-game handshake, wearing different colours and smiles
  • articles following dan’s career, from her first teams through to the foxes, including photos of her familiarly disapproving and determined and delighted expression on the sidelines or amongst her players
  • a collection of photos taken by various foxes at their ‘reunions’ - matt and dan curled in the same armchair, dan laughing because she’s getting squashed. renee braiding allison’s hair, her face all careful concentration, while allison sits on the floor between her knees drinking wine. aaron and kevin arguing, for old time’s sake. nicky and andrew making drinks while erik watches on in the background. all of them together in one mess, no one looking the right way, someone’s eyes closed, someone laughing a little bit too hard - perfect
  • a singular photo of jean moreau, helmet under his arm as he looks down at jeremy knox, the man he followed through the professional leagues post-college. he’s smiling in it, grey eyes crinkled in the corners. (neil can’t quite explain why he kept it - he doesn’t look at it much. when he does, he remembers)
  • a collection of articles about andrew on the court, from his first year pro all the way through. articles that still call him dangerous, but mean it in relation to the scoring percentages of his opposition. photos of him stretched out in goal, immortalised in brutal determination, beside total strangers calling him talented, even calling him revolutionary because of his style of play
  • more articles about andrew, off of the court - andrew as an icon, flat-faced beside LGBT campaigners for sports, speaking bluntly and truthfully and tactlessly at events as an invited guest. 
  • andrew, whose thesis on the treatment of mentally ill juveniles in the justice system was publicised by a psu student, who stared at everyone who questioned him about it in a way that unmistakably said i meant what i wrote
  • andrew, the survivor, who donates so much of his salary to a variety of causes, who did before anyone knew and who continued after it became public like he didn’t give a fuck because he didn’t
  • photos of the andrew that belong to neil, ones that make andrew curl his lip if neil pins them up - he and his brother standing shoulder to shoulder at the reception of aaron’s wedding, caught on camera by the official photographer in a very rare moment of understanding. him bathed in the light of a sunset on their balcony, all golden. he and neil together wearing red, white and blue in the locker room of a foreign stadium, ready to walk on the court for their country. him on the couch, asleep on his belly with one of the cats curled up in the cup of his lower back
  • (neil doesn’t mean to document his own history, only theirs - it happens by accident. there’s a photo of him beside kevin, medals around both of their necks at a world cup final. a photo him in the audience of an event where andrew is on the stage, photographed looking up from the crowd with a slight smile on his face included in an article on andrew. one from a reunion, taken from behind him and andrew with the sun turning them to silhouettes, including where their hands are curled together between them. a headshot of him from a where are they now-style article on the first ncaa champion fox team, scars on display and stare as bright and challenging as ever - still alive)
Nine Odd Tricks to Maximize Your Weight Gain

Hello gainers of all shapes and sizes. Today’s post is about tricks you can use to maximize your weight gain. From lighting to subliminal messaging to your plate size and color, I’m going to teach you how to trick yourself into getting fat. This post makes references to psychological, chemical, biological and historical studies, all impacting weight gain, and makes it easy to digest. Let’s get right into it!

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That’s My Girl

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: Jensen breaks your plans for the evening and you are not happy about it.

Prompt: “That’s not a good enough reason to get married.”

Characters: Jensen x Reader

Requested: @arryn-nyx


“I can’t believe you’re bailing on me!”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you, Y/N!” Of course Jensen subjects you to his dazzling signature smile, the one that reminds you of kittens and rainbows and all of that corny shit.

He drags you in for an insanely tight hug as if that will make your moodiness disappear. Well, the joke’s on you because it’s starting to work.

Damn his perfect physique. How are you supposed to stay pissed when an attractive man who smells delicious is touching you?

You gather up enough super strength to shake those distracting thoughts away. That’s an exhausting problem that you’ll save for another day. As of today, there’s no way in hell that you’re letting him off the hook this time.

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12.14 coda

Dean may have missed out on the fight, but he still feels like drinking when he finally gets back home. Ketch’s expensive bottle of bribery is still sitting on the war room table and his glass is still in his favorite spot, right where he left it.

“Oh, hello, sweetness. Daddy’s here,” Dean coos at it. He hums as he picks up the bottle - still heavy even after a couple of drinks. “Shhh. It’s just you and me now.”

Sam scoffs. “Really, Dean? You’re that easy?”

Dean rolls his eyes over his shoulder. “So?”

Sam doesn’t really want to start anything, he’s feeling too good. He lets Dean smuggle his booze away to his room like always and revels in the still-fresh feeling of adrenaline-fueled ass-kicking. Changing the world. Power in the palms of his hands. He’ll try not to let it go to his head, but he deserves to celebrate the win at least.

Dean, meanwhile, falls like a heavy weight against the back of his bedroom door. 

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(Super-fast idea, because I found this picture and after laughing at the Sheriff’s face for two minutes straight, the idea hit me straight in the face)

Several years in the future, Derek and the Sheriff are kind of buddies.

Derek is a consultant for the Beacon Hills police when any kind of supernatural crime occurs, or when they need his super sniffer in critical urgencies (Derek found the lost little girl almost immediately, while the K9 unit from the next town was still lost in the wood. The Sheriff was proud. They never talk about the fact that they had to circle the town in the John’s police car, Derek’s head hanging out of the window like a poodle on a roadtrip).

So the John and Derek sometimes hang out, they watch football match together, they have a beer, they talk about Stiles’ news from college. They enjoy each other’s company in a very quiet, simple way.

Then, Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills for Christmas, and immediately comes out as bisexual to his dad.

The Sheriff blinks, then hugs him. And that should be the end of it. He is genuinely glad that Stiles told him, and happy that he seems to grow up happy in his own skin.

John honestly doesn’t mean to search stuffs online, but he’s bored, and one innocent question about LGBT rights typed into google quickly devolve into following all kind of links and falling deep. Too deep.

He manages to keeps the anxiety at bay all the way to Derek’s home, and his knock on the door is barely frantic. But Derek opens the door as if he was expecting the Sheriff to be on fire, so John guesses that he didn’t control his panic-stricken heartbeat as well as he thought.

After a few minutes of assuring Derek that no, Stiles is fine, John is fine, everyone is fine, no Stiles isn’t hurt, nobody’s kid got missing again, Melissa is fine, there is no monster eating anyone, Stiles is totally ok, and getting a glass of perfectly good whisky from Derek (who apparently keeps it around just for John), John finally explains.

Because Derek? Derek is bisexual.

They have talked about it in passing several times. Derek’s ex, Jeff, used to be a cop in New Jersey until he got shot in duty and became a teacher. Derek spends some nights drinking at the Jungle and he glared while talking about shitty techno music. Derek gives money to an association for LGBT kids and go there to help sometimes.

To the Sheriff, it never seemed like a detail more important than knowing that Derek hates cheap beer or that he is a sore loser when his sport team get slaughtered.

But now, now it is important. Because the Sheriff needs someone with answers, precise answers, about things that he can ask directly to his kid.

About giant sex toys and trip to the ER and drugs use and STDs and biphobia and bullying.

He kind of blurt it all. Derek’s eyes look gigantic and his eyebrows almost fly off his forehead.

So that’s how Derek becomes the Sheriff’s mentor in everything LGBT.

It’s not as weird as it could be.

Derek answers all his questions as best as he can, tries to reassure him and, when he doesn’t know, they look for information together online while staying far away from certain websites.  

(all the while, Derek tries to ignores really, really hard, that Stiles is bisexual and apparently single. It’s impossible).

Then I don’t know.

Maybe the Sheriff brings Derek back home in the hope that Derek will talk with Stiles about all these stuffs (because he’s not sure he has mastered the details enough to give the bisexual version of the Talk, and also, the image of the gigantic dildo is still haunting him).

So they end up all around the kitchen table, Stiles looking bewildered, Derek resigned and awkward and the Sheriff looking at them with crazy eyes (again, gigantic dildo. And ER trips. Melissa works there, this can never happen to him) until they start talking.

Stiles knows all those things. Derek knows that Stiles knows. They talk about it anyway because, well, the Sheriff look kind of grey in worry.

Then Stiles finally understands that Derek is bisexual. And single. And Derek knows that Stiles is bisexual. And single. The awkwardness quickly turns to vague innuendo, then overt flirting, then eyefucking over mugs of coffee.

The Sheriff gets his colors back progressively. He wonders for a second if he should protest this development (the whole, 7 years older and a werewolf thing may be a problem), but really, Derek is a great man.

And he apparently knows how to use lube, condoms, and would never be stupid enough to use a gigantic dildo then lose it somewhere in his son.

All in all, he’s ok with the direction this whole thing is taking.

witch tips!

🚬 if you smoke,drawing sigils on ciggarettes might be effective. think about it,it’s drawn on paper,it burns alongside tobacco (charging),it enters your lungs (could also mean charging),you release the smoke into the air (casting).
❗PLEASE DON’T DO THIS IF YOU DON’T ALREADY SMOKE. don’t start smoking because of a tumblr post 🚭
🔥 drawing sigils on plastic lighters or carving them into metal ones could also be a thing,you’d have to charge it yourself but it could be practical
🐚 i like picking rocks i feel drawn to,blessing them,and placing them in my turtle’s tank,i’m guessing blessed or charged water would do too
👑 also. you could like gather all your jewels in place and assign each one an element according to your intuition,and charge them accordingly. like keep earth jewels buried in your plants’ pots or (ONLY FOR METAL ONES) place them in/above a fire,take a bath with the water-y jewels & some sigils for charging,although i have yet to find a method to charge them with air energy.
💍 as for the above,you can totally charge items in moonwater (i’ve a dark purple-ish charm that i keep in moonwater hidden in the dark,and i feel both The Moon’s energy and also some dark energy in it,but that may be because i used said charm for some fucked up shit)
🌹 rose petals man. i felt guilty when my ex came over with roses & all i could think of was “man im so gonna use these” (but he turned out to be an asshole so now i dont feel guilty about using them) so like if you got roses from someone,you can use the petals to make a glamour especially to draw said person to you,or to solve some relationship problems,and if you don’t want none of that & you’re looking for revenge or smth you’d just have to wait until the roses die and you could add the petals in your craft,i found them to be especially strong in break up spells
📷 if you’re looking for revenge or you want someone to suffer for whatever reason,you could take a picture of them and use it. i started using this method before i ever got into withcraft and it’s proved to be extremely effective. it doesn’t even have to be like an album photo,heck you can print their profile pic from social media and fucking burn it. just do it. but it would have to be someone you really hate,yknow,intent matters a lot. bonus points for: burning with sigils,stabbing the picture (EXTRA bonus points if you have a knife you’re fond of and use it for stabbing!), having your blood on the pic before burning it (it was an accident but it worked out way better than i thought), placing a few rusty metal things like screws in the fire,placing something of theirs,blasting fitting music.
🚪 as a continuation for what i said above,i found it extremely helpful to like,gather the ashes of the picture & sigils (add in the metal things or the personal item) and like…drop that shit near the person’s house. just do it. once i gathered the ashes and like mixed them with water and put it in a bottle,got to said person’s block,and like…just..poured that nasty mixture there. (the bitch broke her jaw that night,she says she was “yawning” lol bitch nah. just to give you a glimpse of what this can do)
☕ ok but like enough of the negative shit. you need charging too. try charging your coffee/tea/energy drinks for fucks sake they all work. charge with intent,sigils,even place herbs or condiments (cinnamon in coffee doesn’t tase bad at all!)
🍃 if a leaf falls right in front of you,take it. add it to your altar. do it everytime a leaf falls in front of you. you’ll end up with a big pile of leaves but they do have a purpose
🎤 MUSIC. your voice is extremely powerful. singing while doing a spell is like a legit way to add more power to it. singing while making a glamour does wonders. singing while performing cleansing/warding rituals - singing while cursing - even just singing with intent - they all work. (for reference - you can change the lyrics as you wish. i like singing the “flower gleam and glow” song from tangled to my flowers,i also adapt it to the elements i work with , for example “darkness hear my call/let your powers show” idk i like keeping rhymes but i don’t think it’s necessary)
✒ not to mention how useful it would be to like..write your own stuff. like a poem for a creature/spirit/presence you want to summon or for a deity you worship.
✅ speaking of writing. i like to write a “wishlist” with a pencil (instead of a pen or marker) on paper + add a “my wishes are granted” sigil on it,and burn it and throw the ashes in the wind. the sigil is charged,cast and you stated your wishes. you can determine if it’s going to work or not by paying attention to the paper when it burns. did it have trouble lighting up? did certain words come out of the fire unharmed? probably not gonna work. also pay attention to the ashes like idk how to explain,but some days the ashes just go…down when i throw them in the wind,and other days they fly-almost float-in the wind,in a beautiful way,they almost look like gray butterflies.
⛔ however,you have to be like super explicit whenever you’re making a wish,just like when you ask for something in a spell or from a deity. be clear. not to mention to charge with intent. for example i’ve made wishes that x and y would break up,only to find that the two of them have only been arguing,or that they broke up but made up right back.
🌃 find energy wherever you are.take advantage. if you’re on a street with many running cars,feel the energy,draw it to you. same goes for when you’re out at night and see lights. (my ex used to take me to a bridge where there were train tracks still in use,and the ground would shake when a train was passing there. i could feel the energy when a train was passing right next to us. i collected rocks and herbs from there,and i let a charm hidden there overnight to charge)
🍺 do.not.mix.alcohol.and.withcraft. DO.NOT. like yes you can do whatever you wish to with YOUR craft,and some spells or rituals require adding alcohol,but please for the love of all that is holy please don’t attempt to do anything witchy while you’re drunk.

that’s all i have for now,most of these are pretty basic but i’m sure some of you will find this helpful. take care ✨

bbc.co.uk
The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw - Everyone the One Direction boys have collaborated with on their solo material so far - BBC Radio 1
As rumours swirl about Louis working with Bebe Rexha, we look at the boys' other collabs

Exciting news for One Direction fans: it looks like there’s more solo material on the way from both Zayn and Louis. While Zayn’s collab with PARTYNEXTDOOR is confirmed and dropping “soon”, the Louis rumours all stem from one excitable Bebe Rexha.

“[I just finished a new song] with somebody really big from a boyband,” Bebe told CBS Radio’s Culinary Kitchen. “It’s a really massive record. We just finished it and it’s about to come out in a month or so and it’s amazing. It’s probably one of my favourite songs I’ve ever been a part of in my whole career.”

Hmm. We know what you’re thinking: there are many, many boyband stars Bebe could have worked with. But, when you consider Louis recently followed her on Twitter, and she followed him on Instagram… Yes. All fingers point to a Louis Tomlinson and Bebe Rexha collaboration (we hope).

While we await further news from Team Tomlinson, check out everyone the 1D lads have worked with on their solo material (so far).

(very positive, nice summary that includes everyone)

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