i mean i am kinda in love with everyone i follow

// Random 3 AM Ramble but, I really do want to thank y’all for following this blog. I’ve been roleplaying for about 5 years now, and it’s kinda crazy to think that it’s been that long that fast, but, this blog has been a celebration of those five years. I’ve created so many muses and dropped them over the past years, but my favorites are all here, making new memories and meeting new friends! It may sound really sappy, but muses mean more to me than just looks, or it’s just a character. There’s a certain bond you get, a bond you need in order to successfully write a muse, in my opinion. So yes, I have 30 muses, here, but I love them all so much, I haven’t been this passionate for a blog in YEARS. So thank you, thank you, thank you! //

123. The houses all respond to a member coming out as LGBTQ+ differently:

Gryffindor:

  •  "Wait, you’re not straight" “Nope,” “Haha, nice”
  • Basically every month is pride month in the Gryffindor house
  • “THERE’S MY FAVORITE GAY!“
  • “Yo, do you know my aunt? She’s lesbian,” “Do-do you think everyone in the LGBTQ+ community know each other?” “Well, yeah that’s how it works right?” “I-no!”
  • A lot of the wizard-raised ones just kinda don’t get labels so whenever they introduce they also include identities
  • “This is Sarah, she is muggle born, from London, and she is like, super bi so there ya go,“
  • Always wanting to find out more about it
  • “So how do you like… like when you… you know… what’s it like?” “Stop asking.”
  • Are the first to say if they’re questioning

Hufflepuff: 

  • “I’m gay,“ “Well, I suppose we all are a little gay, am I right or am I right?” 
  • Lots of hugs and squeaks when they find out because they are so proud of you for coming out 
  • Rainbow pride flags all around the common room (With their other civil rights posters)
  • Sometimes they all wear rainbow stickers or rainbow glitter on their faces 
  • “I’m so happy you are pansexual,” “Why?” “Because!! You are being you!! And I love that and I love you and hell yeah for expressing yourself!!” 
  • While introducing the first years: “So here is the famous Hufflepuff common room. Here we have the Hufflegays,” 
  • This is followed by cheers from the LGBTQ+ students 

Ravenclaw:

  • “I’m not straight,” “Yeah, no kidding,” “Wait, you know?” “Yeah, we knew this whole time, it was pretty obvious.” 
  • No one dares say being LGBTQ+ is the new trend because last time someone said that to Ravenclaw, they threw down. 
  • “Oh really, Sharon? It’s a new trend? Well according to my resources in 1971, July 1st, the United Kingdom had a magazine called International Times that made personal ads for gay men. That same year, November 1st, Canada’s first gay rights magazine came out. It was called The Body Politic. So I am sorry, Sharon, that we, as a society, have progressed so that now more people can open about their sexuality. I really do apologize.“ 
  • This house actually has the most LGBTQ+ students. 
  • &
  • They always march in pride parades during the summer 
  • "GAY AND PROUD! QUEER AND LOUD!nbsp;
  • •Doesn’t treat you any differently because of your sexuality because really, who cares? 
  • Rewriting rewritten history

Slytherin:  

  • "I’m bisexual” “Aren’t we all?" 
  • God bless the person who insults a member of Slytherin for being LGBTQ+ because when it comes to revenge, Slytherin is ruthless. 
  • Things get real interesting with the hexes… 
  •  "I’m gay” “My dog’s gay,” “That’s cool how do you know?” He told me” “Nice,“ 
  • Has a "Queer Wizard Club” open to all 
  • Pureblood Grandparents: "I too was gay back in my day…“ 
  • I mean all your historic faves are 
  • Honestly, the LGBTQ+ members in Slytherin kick ass so the straight members don’t even care about the others sexuality, they just want to see how ambitious/cunning you are
  • "How much do you want to bet that Salazar Slytherin was gay?” “Yeah, gay for Gryffindor," 
  • If your parents are against your sexuality and emotionally or physically abuse you in any way, you are always welcome to stay at another Slytherin’s house over the break

requested by @hannahpanda04

being jeon jungkook’s girlfriend;

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

bts; bulletpoints

rated; m (lightly)

  • him taking forever to confess and ask you out
  • by the time he does, you already know he likes you cus his hyungs tease him relentlessly
  • and taetae might have accidentally let it slip his tongue while you were hanging out
  • him being very shy and giggly in the beginning
  • taking you to the movies for the first date, to keep it classic
  • but doesn’t take too long to warm up to you bcus as soon as you’re dating, you hang out 24/7
  • his hyungs whining that they can’t hang out with you anymore cus he’s keeping you all to himself
  • him teasing you every chance he gets, about everything he can
  • if you’re short like me, you’re doomed
  • first kiss is the cutest most innocent thing ever
  • probably just a peck bcus both of you start giggling
  • once you two start with the kissing, he will never stop
  • except for when the guys are around, he’d be too shy
  • so if you want to make him flustered, kiss him while the others are there
  • the first time you make out, it would be super giggly and playful
  • but with time, it would get less innocent
  • him pinning you down against the couch, or you straddling his thighs
  • prepare for when the guys intentionally interrupt a make out session just to tease you two
  • except for jin who accidentally walks in on you and covers his eyes, scolding the both of you (mostly jungkook)
  • him forcing you to play video games with him, whether you like it or not
  • get ready to lose constantly, bcus just cus you’re his girlfriend, doesn’t mean he’ll let you win
  • if you do end up beating him, he’ll pretend like he actually did let you
  • he’d never admit defeat
  • eating together = junk food
  • cup noodles are a go-to
  • the two of you watching weird meme videos on youtube until 4 am while stuffing yourselves with snacks
  • he makes you cuddle with him every time he wants to take a nap, wherever it is
  • “but, jungkook, I need to-”
  • “shh, babe, shh,”
  • *tightens hold*
  • gets incredibly jealous whenever the other guys make you laugh or hang out with you
  • like, he gets too jealous for nothing
  • overprotective
  • but he’s embarrassed about it so he’ll never tell you
  • he will just pretend to be indifferent and not kiss you for awhile
  • but he kisses you anyway cus he can’t refuse
  • on the other hand, he loves the fact that the guys like you as well
  • he values his hyungs’ opinions very much and is a proud boyfriend to you
  • backhugs
  • just a shit ton of backhugs
  • he’ll even give you backhugs in front of everyone else because he fucking loves giving you backhugs
  • the kind where his arms are wrapped over yours, head leaned on your shoulder
  • hates it when you don’t pay attention to him
  • starts poking you or playing with your hair so you’ll do something with him instead
  • you cave in bcus this boy just doesn’t give up
  • him grinning whenever you do
  • him making you do crazy shit
  • like if you’re at an amusement park, he’ll force you onto the craziest rides
  • laughing when you scream
  • makes you eat so many sweets with him
  • if you’re easily jumpscared like me, prepare to have heart attacks on the daily
  • like I said, constant teasing
  • supports you in everything you decide to do
  • cus he firmly believes in following one’s dreams
  • cries more than you whenever you’re sad, cus he hates seeing you like that
  • whatever you feel, he feels
  • that’s why he makes sure to always keep you happy
  • he just feels so much for you
  • but the few times you fight, he can often get angrier than he should
  • which also makes you angrier than you should be
  • he’s probably very depressed afterwards
  • idek who would apologize first
  • but he would swallow his pride and do it first for you
  • is extra cuddly and clingy when you make up
  • makes sure you can’t even hate him if you wanted to
  • preferably the big spoon, it makes him feel manly
  • you probably wake up before him in the mornings
  • he’s a heavy sleeper
  • you have to kiss him to wake him up
  • he’s actually awake but pretends to be sleeping just so you’ll kiss him
  • bcus when he’s not actually awake it’ll take more than a kiss to get him up
  • but when he wakes up before you, he likes to just watch you sleep for a while
  • you’re just so cute
  • wakes you up by tickling you cus he’s a little shit
  • sometimes you get revenge by waking him up by touching his nipples
  • he glares at you and rolls over to pin you down onto the mattress for fucking with him
  • cue playful morning make out
  • possibly more, if he’s feeling horny that morning
  • about sex;
  • takes quite some time to get your relationship to that stage
  • it’s not that he doesn’t want to
  • he definitely wants to, boi, he fucking wants to
  • he’s just a shy little cutie pie and doesn’t know how to approach the situation
  • honestly, it could go on forever that you guys don’t start getting sexually active
  • it would most likely have to be you who mentions it casually at some point
  • like you just casually ask him what he thinks about it and if he’s comfortable with it
  • prepare for a red-faced kookie
  • it will just casually be brought up and then things will be just like normal again
  • until it finally happens
  • once he knows you’re comfortable with it, you don’t have to be the one to initiate it
  • it can kinda be both of you
  • like with everything else, the first time will be very playful and cute
  • but then you will start to discover each other more in depth
  • like each other’s kinks and stuff
  • he definitely prefers being more dominant, but could switch
  • doesn’t necessarily like being too rough
  • he doesn’t want to hurt you in any sense of the word
  • gets turned on by giving you pleasure
  • knowing that you feel good because of something he’s doing is definitely something he likes
  • gets horny often cus he’s still basically a teenager
  • boners from like really odd things that you do
  • like things that aren’t meant to be sexy but he thinks they are
  • like if he’s tired and sleepy and you’re in bed and he subconsciously pushes you away and turns around
  • but then you groan and scoot over and hug him tightly again
  • for some reason that makes him horny because you take charge
  • ik, he’s weird XD
  • but so are you
  • he fucking loves showing off in front of you
  • and always teases that “look what I can do, and you can’t”
  • likes intentionally getting you turned on in public by doing different things discreetly
  • but gets turned on himself cus you’re turned on and instantly regrets it
  • greets you by hugging you and lifting you off the ground
  • jin jokingly flirting with you to make kook jealous
  • the other boys treating you two like babies
  • but are reminded that you are not babies anymore when they wake up to loud noises in the middle of the night
  • acts like he hates when you steal and wear his clothes
  • “baby, you know I don’t like sharing clothes”
  • secretly loves it tho
  • but only uses that as an excuse to get them off of you so you can have some fun no clothes needed
  • constantly sends you memes and ugly pictures of his hyungs saying “you’re lucky to be dating the only hot one in bts, babe”
  • pretends to be a bad boy but is actually a tiny bunny
  • loves you with all his heart, like literally
  • you definitely don’t have to get jealous of other girl idols
  • he doesn’t value looks the most
  • besides, he already thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever witnessed
  • be prepared for an adventurous and fluffy relationship with this boy
  • good luck surviving it
AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me
jealous + jeff atkins

plot : y/n is jeff’s secret girlfriend but she gets jealous when other girls talk to him and has to show everyone/and him, who’s he is

word count : 1270

notes : jealous!reader

++++

Walking into school, your eyes searched for someone in particular.  You found him with his friends, leaning again his locker surrounded by his usual group of friends. He caught your eye, quickly looking away but a smile burst onto his face. You strode past him, moving to your own group of friends. You could feel a pair of eyes on you and you knew who they belonged to.

“Hey, Y/N’s here!” your best friend, Kat hollered.

Your other friends all turned and smiled at you. You returned it, but furrowed your eyebrows. They were acting odd.

“We have news” one of your other friends chorused.

“We think Jeff might be into you. You know the one on the baseball team? Hot Jeff?” another blurted.

You were stunned for a mere second before you regained your composure and laughed.

“Guys, there is no way Jeff Atkins is into me” you glanced at Kat, with a sly smile on your face.

Kat was the only one of your friends that knew about you and Jeff’s relationship. Kat tried to hide her smug smile,

“He’s been looking at for the past few weeks and you should’ve seen how he smiled when you walked in this morning”

You smacked her on the arm for feeding into this gossip and she put her hands up in surrender.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do something about that then” you winked at them playfully, making all of your friends laugh, unaware of the truth.

“Oh, better act fast then because, Tracy’s on the same mission”

You turned around to see a girl leaning against his locker. They were laughing about something. She was pretty, prettier than you in your opinion. You trusted Jeff, you knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of envy as you watched him openly laugh with that girl. You two had agreed to keep your relationship a secret until he got his grades up since his parents thought a relationship would distract him. But seeing him talk to that girl so freely, laughing and joking, you realized that could’ve been you instead. But you were used to this feeling so you brushed it off.

“No but Tracy and Jeff would be kinda cute, I mean they’ve been working on a chemistry project together for the past weeks and they’re adorable in class” one of the girls in your circle, thought out loud.

“Have they now?” you muttered.

“Yeah and I reckon they would be a pretty good couple”

You glared in their direction,

“I bet”

+

“Hey Y/N, so I have this chem- ”

Jeff yelped as you pulled him into your room by the front of his shirt, swiftly shutting the door behind you with your foot. You pushed him into the wall next to the door, pressing your body to his, trapping him between you and the wall. Jeff’s eyes widened at your position, looking at you questioningly with big eyes. 

“Y-Y/N what’s going on?”

You didn’t reply verbally, simply pressing your lips to his instead. He instantly reacted to the kiss, moving his hands to your waist, squeezing gently. You let your hand rest on the back of his neck while another sat on his shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent and you ignored it. You shoved your tongue into his mouth, but he pulled away as soon as you did.

“What’s up though?” he whispered, leaning his head back onto the wall. 

You dodged the question, answering with another question.

“You’re okay with this aren’t you?” you responded.

“Well yeah of course…” Jeff stopped for a second, gathering his words but you had already taken that opportunity.

You untangled yourself from him and lifted his shirt over his head, You smiled slyly at the sight of his bare body. You couldn’t help but smash your lips back onto his. He accepted you for a few heavenly seconds before pulling away again.

“No seriously, what’s going on?” Jeff asked, worry in his eyes.

“Does it matter?” you panted, looking up into his eyes, getting restless. 

“It does, I don’t want my girl- oh my god”

You had attacked his neck with kisses, sucking a bit longer than necessary with each. You ran your hand up the dips of his toned abs, getting a groan in return. You moved up to his jaw, pecking his lips before making a path down again. You hit just the right place, near the crook of his neck, making Jeff moan in response.

“Y/N”

You smirked at this, trailing your hand down to his belt buckle. You pulled him closer to you but before you could proceed to undoing it, Jeff pulled away for the third time.

“I’m serious, what’s going on with you? You’re not like this normally…” he muttered, breathlessly.

You took a deep breath, you didn’t want to tell him the real reason you were all fired up. You hated being the typical jealous girlfriend.  At your silence, Jeff spoke again.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s super hot but I just want to know if there’s anything wrong and I want to help if there is”

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, looking at you with those concerned eyes. Those adorable eyes that you fell in love with. Jeff was so different from the other jocks that he called his friends. A normal guy wouldn’t have questioned this but Jeff, being Jeff, was always thinking about your well being.

“I got jealous” you muttered.

You knew from the surprised look on his face that he heard you. You never really got jealous. Girls always flirted with him and you didn’t blame them.

“What was that?"he asked with a cheeky grin.

That little-

"I got freaking jealous okay?!”

And then he burst out laughing. The nerve of him. You looked away, anger bubbling in you.

“Of who?” he got out in between fits of laughter.

“That girl you’re doing the chemistry thing with”

You finally looked back into his amused eyes.

“Worried that we had chemistry?”

You slapped his chest at the terrible pun. That’s when you finally noticed the red and purple marks all over his neck and collarbone. It was your turn to laugh now.

“Well I won’t have to worry anymore” you smirked.

He eyed you suspiciously before following your gaze. You watched as his eyes widened dramatically and he looked to you like a gaping fish.

“Y/N, how the hell am I meant to cover this up? Everyone will notice!”

"Perfect”

BONUS

“Jeff, man it’s like 500 degrees out, take that scarf off” Jess groaned.

“Uh, no I’m okay” Jeff replied awkwardly.

“Well, I’m getting sick of it” Marcus stated, ripping it off Jeff’s neck before he could protest’

The whole group silenced. Why did Jeff have to wear a v-neck today?

“Oh look who got some last night” Bryce cheered.

“Aww, look at our little Jeffrey growing up. I thought you didn’t do one time things” Justin teased.

Jeff had turned a bright shade of red.

“Damn dude, do we know the girl? Because she’s pretty hardcore” Monty chuckled, eyeing the marks that covered a large portion of his neck and shoulder.

Jeff took a deep breath, playfully glaring at you from across courtyard. You caught his gaze, laughing and winked at him.

God, he loved you.

Liz’s Party | Peter Parker

Summary: Spiderman shows up at Liz’s party to impress everyone, mostly the reader.

Warning: some spoilers

Pairing: Peter Parker (Spiderman) x reader

Type: Alternative scene (what would have happened if Peter showed up at Liz’s party as Spiderman to impress the reader…)

MASTERLIST

Part Two Here / Part Three Here / Part Four Here / Part Five Here / Part Six Here


It was gym class and Ned was currently holding down Peter’s feet as he did sit ups. Ned had recently found out that Peter was Spiderman and was constantly asking his best friend questions about being an Avenger.

“Hey,” Ned piped up. “Can I be your guy in the chair?”

“What?” Peter whispered, not wanting to be too loud.

“You know there is a guy with a headset telling the other guy where to go. Like if you were stuck or lost somewhere, I could tell you where to go because there would be screens and monitors around me. And I could be your guy in the chair,” Ned pleaded.

“Ned, I don’t need a guy in the chair,” Peter insisted.

“Looking good, Parker,” the gym teacher said. Peter paused momentarily before continuing with his sit ups.

“You see for me it would be…f*ck Thor, marry Iron Man, and kill Hulk,” Betty Brant said from the bleachers.

“What about the Spiderman,” Y/N voice piped up, making all her friends on the bleachers look at her.

“It’s just Spiderman,” Liz shrugged.

“Did you guys see that big security cam on youtube? He fought off four guys!” Peter and Ned watched Y/N as she practically praised the Spiderman.

“Oh my gosh. She’s crushing on Spiderman,” Betty joked.

“No way!”

“Kinda,” Y/N shrugged, a blush creeping up onto her face. Peter glance at Ned then turned his attention back to the group.

“Ugh. Gross. He’s probably like thirty,” Betty said.

“You don’t even know what he looks like. What if he is like seriously burned?” Liz suggested.

“I wouldn’t care. I would still love him for the person he is on the inside,” Y/N replied. “He’s a good man and its obvious he really cares about this city. That is something I really admire about him.”

“Peter knows Spiderman,” Ned blurted. Peter’s mouth dropped open and he turned towards Ned. Everyone in the room went silent and all their eyes were on Peter, even Y/N’s.

“Uh, no I don’t,” Peter said, scrambling to his feet. “No. I-I mean.” He turned and faced Y/N and her friends.

“They’re friends,” Ned added with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, like coach Wilson and Captain America are friends,” Flash teased, now walking over to his rival.

“I-I’ve met him. Yeah, a couple times but its uh…through the Stark internship,” Peter clarified, briefly looking at Y/N. Flash seemed to be enjoying this for a smirk was evident on his face. “Mhmm. Yeah but I am not really suppose to talk about it,” Peter turned around, glaring at Ned.

“Well, that’s awesome,” Flash replied. “Hey, you know what? Maybe you should invite him to Liz’s party.”

“Yeah, I am having people over tonight. You are more than welcome to come,” she smiled.

“You’re having a party,” Ned asked.

“W-Will you be there Y/N?” Peter stuttered. Y/N looked up and nodded her head.

“Y-Yeah. I’m going.” Peter smiled shyly at her.

“Yeah, its gonna be dope. You should totally invite your personal friend Spiderman,” Flash insisted.

“Flash,” Y/N warned. “Leave him alone.”

“Ah come on. He’ll be there,” Flash spat. The bell rang and everyone stood to their feet and made their way towards the door. Peter watched Y/N stand, the two of them briefly met each other’s gaze before she broke it. She walked with her friends out of the gym, Peter’s eyes following her form.

Peter groaned in annoyance and look at Ned. “What are you doing?!?”

“Helping you out,” Ned said. “Did you not hear her? Y/N has a crush on you!” Peter opened his mouth to say something but nothing came. He couldn’t believe his childhood crush had a crush on him…well Spiderman. “Dude, you are an avenger!” Ned said, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. “If any one of us has a chance with Y/N, its you.” 

Y/N and Peter had known each other since grade school and had become pretty close friends. Peter developed his first crush on her but never had the guts to tell her. And here she was, years later, having a crush on Peter’s alter ego. It almost didn’t feel real to Peter. Was he hearing this right? Was she really in love with Spiderman?


That night, May drove Peter and Ned over to Liz’s house. May stopped the car in front of the house and nodded her head. “A house party in the suburbs! Oh, I remember these. I’m kinda jealous.”

“It will be a night to remember,” Ned said with excitement.

“Ned, some hats wear men. You wear that hat!”

“Yeah, it gives me confidence,” Ned grinned.

“This is a mistake,” Peter said, suddenly feeling nauseous. “Hey, let’s just go home.”

“Oh Peter. I know. I know its really hard trying to fit in with all the changes your body is going through,” Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s flowering you.” Peter bit his lip and laughed slightly. 

“Okay, yeah. I’m gonna go,” Peter said, unbuckling his seatbelt. He exited the car, Ned following his actions.

“Peter,” May called. “Have fun.”

“I will,” Peter smiled.

“Bye May,” Ned waved as the car drove away. The two of them turned around and began walking up the sidewalk, towards the house. “Dude, you have the suit, right?” Peter lifted up his arm sleeve and showed him the web shooters and red costume. “This is going to change our lives!”

They entered the house, music blasting in the background and kids walking around with drinks in their hands. “DJ Flash,” the announcer said, making both the boys look over at the Flash operating the music.

“Okay, we are gonna have Spiderman swing in, say you guys are tight and then I get a fist bump or one of those half bro hugs,” Ned whispered to his best friend.

“Can’t believe you guys are at this lame party,” Michelle said, standing next to them.

“But…you’re here too,” Ned insisted.

“Am I?” Michelle walked off.

“Oh my–. Hey guys,” Y/N said. “Cool hat, Ned.”

“Hey Y/N,” Ned said with a silly grin on his face.

“Hey Y/N,” Peter’s voice squeaked.

“I’m glad you guys came,” she smiled. “There is pizza and drinks so go and help yourself.”

“Wow, what a great party,” Peter added with a smile.

“I barely did anything. It was all Liz.” Someone called her name and she turned her head. “Oh, I should go.”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded. She walked away and Ned said goodbye to her.

“Dude! What are you doing? She’s here, spider it up!”

“No. No. No. I can’t. I cannot do this. Spiderman is not a party trick,” Peter said. “Look, I am just gonna…be myself.”

“Peter, no one wants that.”

“Dude,” Peter said hurtfully. He turned to walk away when Flash called out his name on the microphone.

“Parker! What’s up? Hey, where is your pal, Spiderman? Let me guess, in Canada with your imaginary girlfriend?” The crowd laughed and Peter clenched his fists in anger. “That’s not Spiderman. That’s just Ned in a red shirt.”


Somehow, through peer pressure, Peter found himself outside. He disregarded his regular clothing and underneath it was his red and blue Spiderman outfit. He knelt down on the rooftop and gazed down at Liz’s house.

“Hey! What’s up? I am Spiderman,” he whispered to himself as he took off his shirt. “Just thought I would swing by, say hello to my buddy Peter. Oh hey, what’s up Ned? Where is Peter anyways?”

He sighed, looking down at Ned who stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Peter shook his head.

“I can’t do this.” Peter noticed Y/N walk up to Ned and ask him a question. In response, Ned shrugged and she nodded her head before walking away. As soon as she was out of sight, Ned yanked out his phone and dialed Peter’s number. Peter answered it immediately.

“Peter! Where are you? Y/N’s asking for you,” Ned said, desperately.

“I will be there in a second.”

Peter hung up and gazed down at Y/N’s concerned face. She fiddled with her fingers and her eyes continued to wander around the room. Peter put his mask on and stood to his feet before swinging down.

“Oh sorry,” he apologized to some people. Everyone turned around to look at him and all mouth’s dropped open. He maneuvered his way through the crowd of people until he made it inside. “Sorry, I just gotta…find my friend Peter.”

“Spiderman?” He turned around at the sound of Y/N’s voice. His robotic eyes dilated and his head moved up and down her body. His actions did not go unnoticed by Y/N. “W-What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know. Peter called me and asked if I could show.”

“No way,” Flash said in disbelief. He pushed past the crowd and soon came face to face with the superhero himself. “You’re really him? Are you really friends with Peter Parker?”

Peter turned his eyes towards Y/N who stood behind Flash. He pushed past his rival and approached her. “Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hi,” she smiled.

“What’s your name? Wait. No. Let me guess. Y/N, right?”

“Y-Yeah, how did you know?”

“Peter talks a lot about you,” Spiderman said.

“H-He does?” 

“Spiderman!” He turned around and faced Ned. “Hi! It’s Ned. Remember me?”

“Yeah I do. How are you doing?” He gave Ned his fist bump and the boy nearly collapsed when realizing he was going to be popular for the rest of his life.

“Fine. I’ll let you get back to Y/N. She’s a big fan,” Ned laughed. Peter turned his head and eyed Y/N.

“Really?” He teased and she looked down at her feet. 

“Well, kinda,” she replied, blushing like crazy. 

“Well, I should get going. New York isn’t going to save itself,” Spiderman said.

“Yeah,” Y/N added, dreamily admiring the superhero.

“It was nice to finally meet you. Oh and tell Peter that Mr Stark needs him at the internship at four thirty tomorrow,” Spiderman added. “Can you do that for me?”

Y/N nodded and Spiderman winked at her with his big eyes, making her smile. Spiderman used his web shooters and swung away from the party. He made his way back up to the rooftop when everyone had lost interest and began to change back into his normal clothes.

“I can’t believe he actually showed,” Flash said to Y/N.

“What’s the matter, Flash? Jealous of Peter or of Spiderman?”

TO BE CONTINUED…

fanaticfandomfaun  asked:

I am a huge fan of your style! It's absolutely lovely! How long have you been drawing and how did you develop your own style?

 ive been drawing my whole life! (always an odd question for me bc like…. yall stopped drawing after kindergarten? what did you do all day??)

as for developing style, my biggest piece of advice is just! keep! drawing! its been a bit hard to follow my own advice lately because my depression keeps fucking up my motivation and for the first time in my life i just dont feel like drawing, at all, ever. but if youre having similar motivational issues or if youre just starting out and you just arent feeling satisfied with your art, dont give up! the less you draw the harder it will be! i have a personal policy (that i dont actually remember to follow) where even if i dont want to, even if i hate how it looks, i have to draw at least once a day every single day. i swear it will improve your work if you do this. its hard, i know, i havent been doing it, but follow my advice not my example! (honestly im the embodiment of that quote “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” by Lewis Carol)

the other piece of advise i have is honestly…… steal art. 

“gasp! but Kate,” you say, “stealing art is bad and wrong!!” you say, “i know because of all those ‘art theft is bad and wrong’ posts i reblog!”

look. thats not what im saying, im not telling any of you to try to pass anyone elses art as your own, or use other peoples art without their credit. dont to that its bad and wrong. what im saying is LOOK at other peoples art and copy what they do. copying other peoples art styles is how every artist has learned for centuries. i started out drawing myself as a powerpuff girl or as a pokemon character just like everyone else. hell, i used to straight up print out and trace drawings i found on deviant art, which is a perfectly viable way to learn styles (muscle memory) so long as you dont try to pass it off as your own work then honestly its not stealing.

for example recently i was trying to draw these cat characters i had come up with, and i could not for the life of me draw these cats they were just turning out so ugly,

so i was like “well fuck this, i just need to find a simpler style” and by some kind of MIRACLE, while i was looking up drawings of cats i stumbled across this one blog, daily cat drawings. and it was like, holy shit this is it this is the exact style i need to draw my cats in. so first thing i did was try to follow some of their drawings exactly, not tracing but the closest you can get by sight. 

this is one of dailycatdrawing’s drawings:

and this was my attempt to copy it:

after i felt like i kinda had it down i drew that athena. NOT based off of any one of dailycatdrawing’s pieces, but still using the basics of their style. after that i felt confident enough using this style to draw the rest of my cats and they turned out great! naturally i had to draw hermes again because i couldnt just use such a blatant copy of another artists work, and it turned out even better than before!

which proves my earlier advice about how every single time you draw youre improving! its also important to note that even if you try to copy an artists style exactly you will probably never have it perfectly, and thats a GOOD THING! because it means that you arent truly stealing someone elses work, youre just using it as an example of ONE WAY a drawing can be good. by paying attention to MANY artists styles you can use all of them together to make your own unique style! even trying to copy dailycatdrawing’s style to a T i still ended up using elements from other artists and my own experience to change the style just enough to make it personal. looking at hermes’ face you can tell ive unintentionally taken some inspiration from lackadaisy’s art style, another artist i really admire. 

this turned out way longer than i meant it to, sorry, i always get so caught up in explaining things when people ask for advice. hopefully this helped someone!

I don’t mean to come off as aggressive, but truth be told, I’m about to utterly destroy this interview with Dove Cameron. I am not doing this because I don’t like her, I’m just infuriated by this theory. I am a reader, and I read the prequel books before watching the movies. This stuff doesn’t align with the books, and I’m peeved about it. All my fellow Divergent and PJO fans know that when a movie doesn’t follow the books, WE. GET. MAD!

Let’s start with the claim that Uma and Mal’s rivalry is partially based around Harry. Here is where that actually comes from. Uma and Mal were partners-in-petty-crime when they were little kids, kinda like bffs. One day, the two wanted to prank Cruella De Vil by dumping sea sludge on her. However, the sludge spilled and Mal slipped off the dock. Uma initially laughs at the accident, but she becomes panicked as she desperately searches for her friend, who also can’t swim. Mal never actually fell off the pier. She appears behind Uma and dumps a bucket of smelly shrimp on her head. The smell of shrimp never went away, and Mal nicknamed her Shrimpy. Since then, the two were always in competition. (“from the sandbox to the doomball court”) Their 13th bday parties were even on the same day. “Mal always came out on top.” Uma’s fury intensifies when Mal is selected to go to Auradon and not her. Uma is envious of Mal because she always beat Uma, and Uma just wants to win. Their bad blood is based on a gradual one-sided battle and years of jealousy. Basing it on a guy belittles Uma’s motives and makes her look petty. She’s not; she has millions of reasons to hate Mal, and none of them are Harry.

Now let’s talk about Evie. Actually, let’s talk about their whole gang’s origins. It started as Mal and Jay, the worst kids of Dragon Hall and partners-in-crime. Carlos was a runty nerd in school, and Evie was the new girl. She was castleschooled (homeschooled) her whole life because when she and Evil Queen were banished when they she was a kid. Why? Because her birthday party was the same day as Mal’s, and everyone went to Evie’s. Mal was upset, so Maleficent banished the Evil Queen and her daughter to a lonely castle. Bottom line, Mal started out hating Evie. When Evie goes to Dragon Hall, her first friend is Carlos, and neither are too keen on being evil. One day, Maleficent asks Mal to retrieve her dragon eye scepter from the Isle of the Doomed, and Mal hatches a scheme to make Evie grab it and fall into a death-like sleep. Thus, the rotten four is born. Mal brings Jay and invites Evie who brings Carlos. However, Mal develops as a person over the journey and saves Evie from death by grabbing the scepter herself (She only sleeps for a few minutes because she’s related to Maleficent). Bottom line is that Evie was not some replacement for a kicked out gang member. Uma was never apart of Mal’s gang because it started long after Uma and Mal’s rivalry began, and Evie was one of the original members of the gang anyway. Suggesting otherwise puts majority of Mal’s character development to waste and disregards her relationship with Evie. Also, Uma was never in her gang, but she constantly tried to join. Mal claimed she wasn’t big or bad enough, but she was actually threatened by the presence of leader who might just be as evil as her. Thus, the rivalry intensifies. Again, Uma has plenty of reasons to hate Mal.

The part saying Harry and Mal were each other’s first loves makes next to no sense. The evidence for this lies more in the first movie. First, Evie says Mal never had a boyfriend. Next, Mal says that there isn’t really dating on the Isle, just gang activity. Finally, she tells Ben that she doesn’t know what love is. Saying that Harry was Mal’s first love makes illegitimate Ben’s efforts to help Mal learn how to love. It’s Mal’s discovery of love that enables her to develop as a character and defeat her mother. Dating Ben was supposed to be what transformed Mal, and implying that she has loved another before makes her development in the first movie almost meaningless.

Now for the part about Harry getting dumped and joining Uma’s gang. Uma doesn’t get a crew until after the events of the first movie because she concludes that she needs one to beat Mal’s gang. Uma is described as Harry’s longest friend on the Isle, meaning he knew her before he knew Mal. And yes, THEY ACTUALLY SAID FREIND!! When they were young, Uma started ordering him around, and he let her(Gil was there too, but he drifted away and came back when he found out they needed a crew). When Uma says she wants a crew and a ship, she makes a bet with Harry. The winner is captain and the loser is first mate. Ya’ll can figure out who won. Anyway, Harry was always friends with Uma, and he joins Uma’s crew because he wants to, not because of a silly rivalry between former gang mates and a broken heart. There is no mention of a distaste for Mal on his part. In fact, when Uma is hell-bent on getting a crew so she can beat Mal, he wants her to lighten up and have fun with him by causing mischief or something. He doesn’t care about the kids in Bore-don; he just cares that Uma’s upset. The idea that Harry joins Uma’s crew in spite of Mal downplays Harry and Uma’s friendship.

In glorious conclusion, this theory makes a mockery out of the books written to support the movies. Why bother having Melissa De La Cruz write them if you’re not going to agree with the story line? I feel like the actors and directors should read these books so they understand their characters’ motivation. I mean, didn’t Dove Cameron do a promotional video for Rise of the Isle of the Lost? I thought she read it!

I’m not doing this in spite of Dove’s relationship with Thomas. Their personal life is none of our concern, and as a fandom we need to respect that. However, her story does harm to the canon in the following ways: it bases Uma and Mal’s years of tension on a guy and petty gang drama, it turns the beginnings of Evie and Mal’s relationship into a mere replacing of someone else, it turns Ben’s role as Mal’s reason to be good into a lack luster second rate, and it makes Uma and Harry’s relationship based purely on mutual hatred for Mal.

Their backstory is nice, but I ask that they keep their personal life and professional life separate. I really liked the books, but this makes them pointless. If they’re going to force this onto us, don’t expect me to believe a word of it. It lacks evidence from the written text, puts De La Cruz’s work to waste, and shoots down loads of character/relationship development.

Thank you for your consideration.

5

everybody lives AU | AKATSUKI
• setting — the Last

Akatsuki becomes a mercenary group for hire, as they did in Road to Ninja. 
This is more appropriately named the “everybody comes back to life and somehow things work out AU”… but as promised, 10 Akatsuki members in the timeline of The Last! Designing is fun (esp the village flak jackets) (・∀・)

See more extensive character/AU details below the cut!:

Keep reading

2

Dating Dallas Winston would include…

- Sleeping over at Buck’s

- The gang thinking you are just another Sylvia at first

- Earning Dallas’s trust and respect

- Only calling him Dallas when you are angry

“Dallas Winston!”

“Oh come on, what did I do this time doll?”

- Becoming friends with the gang after they see that you are legit

- Dallas getting jealous at the smallest things

- You getting jealous when Dallas starts flirting with other girls

- Getting angry when Dallas is dismissive of your feelings

- Getting upset when he gets arrested

- Skirt lifting

“So I was thinking that after the movie we can- DALLAS!”

“What?”

“Stop flipping my skirt up you perv!”

“Oh please doll, you know I love the view.”

- Hickies just everywhere, places people would see them and places only the two of you could see

- Visiting Dallas while he is in the cooler

“What did you do this time Dal?”

“Don’t worry about it doll, I’ll be out before ya know it.”

- Getting mad at Dally and flirting with Socs to get back at him

- Him reluctantly giving hugs whenever you ask

- Waking up to see your hips covered in small bruises

“Really Dally? You just have to leave your mark don’t you.”

“You’ve got to admit, you look real nice with ‘em.”

“Oh shut it. You know what this means right.”

“What?”

“You aren’t gettin’ nothin’ until these heal.”

“What! No that’s not fair!”

“Deal with it.”

- Trying to get Dallas to take you out

- Dallas trying to mess with you under the table

- Having to stop wearing skirts in public

- Coming to the conclusion that you will never be able to stop him from looking for trouble

- Dallas constantly trying to seduce you

“Come on doll, we could go back into my room and have some real fun.”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like you’re sticking your hand up my skirt.”

- Sex in Buck’ car

- Sex anywhere and everywhere

- Safe sex because neither of you want to deal with a kid

- Dallas making midnight trips to buy condoms

- Contemplating whether or not he was just using you for sex

“Why should I follow you upstairs? So you can have a good fuck before sending me on my way again?”

“What are ya talkin’ about?”

“Stop lying to me Dallas. This means nothing to you, but why must you hurt me?”

“You’re acting crazy doll. Come upstairs, we don’t have to fuck if you don’t want to.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, come on broad, you know I won’t kick you to the streets after you give me what I want. I’m not that much of a dick.”

- Dally beating everyone who looks at you in a weird or suggestive way

- Patching him up after rumbles even when he’s being stubborn and insisting he’s fine

- Forcing him to dance with you to a slow song that you picked from the Jukebox at The Dingo

“No.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“Not in front of everybody. I gotta look tuff.”

“I don’t care. Dance with me.”

- Stealing his jacket when he takes it off and making him run after you to get it back

- Play fights that actually gets you hurt because he doesn’t know how to go easy

- Being the only one in the relationship who says the words “I love you”

“I love you.”

“I know ya do doll.”

*sigh* “Seriously?”

“What?”

- Dally showing he loves you but never admits it.

- Poison And Wine by The Civil War lyrics’ “I don’t love you but I always will.” being the anthem of your relationship because he swears he doesn’t love you but he always will love you

- Begging Dally to say I love you and him walking out because he can’t because he is scared

- Getting upset when he leaves you and getting your clothes packed to leave but him coming back and kissing you

- Taking what you can get because you believe he will never say it

- Finally taking that he will never say it or ask you to marry him

“I ain’t that kinda man, doll.”

“You aren’t that kinda man or are you too scared?”

- Dally grabbing your arm when you try to leave after sex

- After awhile you start catching Dally staring at you during the weirdest times

- Late night forced cuddles

- Dallas surprisingly being a great boyfriend, once you earn his trust


Ended up being rather long and I am not even sorry

-C and J

izzycat6  asked:

Do you have recommendations for a Klance slowburn fic? (Doesn't really matter if it's an AU)

Friend f r i e n d it’s been ages since I actually got to sit down and read a fic but I’ve read lots of them in the past so you definitely came to the right person :P (I actually wrote one of my own; it’s called Magic Me Some Love and is about Galra!Keith/Magician!Lance in a medieval fantasy setting, if you’re into that.)

Now. Slow burn klance fics that aren’t on pretty much every fic rec list out there already with a minimum of either 60k words or that are unfinished still:

Ignorance Is Bliss by YouAreInAComaWakeUp

As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew?
Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he’s the less-evil one, too, so that’s always a plus.

>> R E A D  I T  IT’S SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR AVERAGE GHOST FIC JUST- JUST DO IT JUST ONE CHAPTER D O I T– JS UT FKCIN G D O IOT- -

The Message by Shipstiel

Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he’s not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would’ve thought.

>>wrong number AU with an extra dash of angst. But if you’ve read any of the other fics this author has written you’ll know that they specialize in fluff and that absolutely shines through in the fic^^

Quest for Altea by fandomlicious

20 years after the legendary sword Voltron was drawn from its stone by Queen Allura, it is stolen and eventually lost in the dangerous Balmeran Forest. To prevent the rogue knight Zarkon, his witch companion Haggar and their army of Galra warriors from claiming the sword and conquering all of Altea, it falls to Lance, with the help of a dark-haired hermit, to embark on the treacherous journey, save his kingdom and reunite his broken family.

>>if you don’t mind OCs that you get to know throughout the fic taking on a more important role, you should totally check out this fic. It’s plot heavy and reads like a published novel :D

Foreign Scenes by bwyn

Lance has been dreaming of travelling since the first time he heard stories from his family as a child. Now, having finally the time and money to do it, he goes on a trip to Europe to see some of the most culturally rich cities on the continent. Except he keeps bumping into the same guy over and over again, in random cities, doing stupid shit, and ultimately dragging Lance into his trouble, too.

>>it’s one of the few fics that I haven’t read personally yet and still won’t hesitate to recommend. lots of my friends have read and praised it, apparently it’s fluffy and fun. it’s absolutely on my to read list :D

Crossroads by manamune

When Keith crashed his Lion into a Galra warship in order to stop it from destroying a solar system, and more importantly, his friends, he was fully prepared to die for it.
What he didn’t prepare for was to wake up in an alternate universe where he and Lance were dating.

>>this one. if you haven’t read it yet, go read it. it was my fav voltron fic for a long long time!!!! it’s got it all, plot, romance, character development, realistic amounts of angst- it’s very very good. 

Drive It Like You Mean It by Zizzani

The Castle of Lions is the venue for the city’s most dangerous illegal street races where drivers come to test the cut of their tires. Lance has long defended his title as champion, but when a newcomer shows up and threatens his position things take an interesting turn.

>>not into cars and street racing AUs? neither am i, my friend, and yet this is one of the best voltron fics i’ve read. trust me when i tell you that you want to read everything written by this author.

Sharps and Accidentals by Zizzani (! unfinished!)

Keith is a talented up and coming violin virtuoso. Lance hates him immediately.
Or an AU in which Lance and Keith both attend the same music university. Keith is deaf. Lance is Trying™.

>>if there is one deaf!AU you should read then it’s this one. it’s really amazing all around - i’ve been following it since 2016 and i still always get excited over e-mail updates.

Ghost of the Future / Shadow of the Past by wittyy_name & Zizzani (! unfinished!)

When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.
-
When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.

>>WHEN I SAW THAT THESE TWO WRITERS WOULD COLLAB ON A FIC I NEARLY DIED BRUH THESE MIRROR FICS ARE AMAZE JUST LIKE THEIR OTHER FICS

Stick It by noussommeslessquelettes

After a run-in with the law, former national phenom turned delinquent Keith Kogane is forced to return to the regimented world of elite gymnastics, facing old foes and new challenges.

>>!!!!!!!!!! it’s such a good fic!! based on such a good movie!!!!! i’m kinda upset that not more people have read it, it’s good, give it a try, it won’t disappoint^^

Not That Bad by varelsen

A college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.

>>the summary nails it. also starring socially anxious!keith but despite that he seems pretty in character. it’s amazing and i really love this author’s style of writing :D

He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

>>dragon au i repeat dragon au this is not a drill everyone - this fic!!! is freaking!!!! amazing!!!!!!! it’s in my top 5 minimum go try it out :D

Altea High by Lixie (! unfinished!)

Go back to school they said. It’ll be fun they said. Yeah, sure. It’s tons of fun scaling lava walls, accidentally setting things on fire, and being babysat by the school’s flirt.
When Lance signed up (*cough* bribed *cough*) to show the new firebug around the school he thought it would be a piece of cake. He did not anticipate the sour attitude, spontaneous explosions, intimate moments in elevators…

>>the sky high au you always knew you needed :D it’s still in the very early stages but the fic is really fun so far!!

Blue Shells and Comic Books by SonofHades (! unfinished!)

Lance has too much time on his hands, Keith doesn’t have enough. Lance leans more towards being outgoing and sociable, while Keith keeps to himself and can be mostly unpleasant. Neither think they have anything in common. What they don’t realize, however, is that there happens to be a very popular graphic novel that connects them together. Lance happens to be an avid reader and Keith just happens to secretly be the author.

>>another fic i’m super pumped for oh my god. each new chapter mail has me grinning like a maniac. the waiting between updates is suffering but all worth it in the end. it’s fun and interesting and i love it!

Flirting With Death by drippingpen (! unfinished!)

Keith commits the ultimate taboo as a grim reaper: he saves a life.
More specifically, he saves Lance’s life.
Now they are forever linked, unable to survive without the other. Keith must protect Lance from the forces that are trying to right Keith’s wrong and kill Lance.

>>skdfghjksfhgdksjfhgjfjd i cannot describe it. the plot is really amazing and keith and lance are so attracted to each other but they can’t kiss because that would literally kill lance. it belongs to the top most interesting voltron fics out there :D

in your shoes by lydiamartin (! unfinished!)

The one where Keith and Lance live in different cities but swap bodies – and angry love notes – multiple times a week.

>>Kimi No Na Wa (your name) AU!!!! so basically anything but your typical body switch AU :P give it a try, you will be surprised by it, especially if you haven’t seen the movie.

Of Lions And House Cats by Ms_Towa (! unfinished!)

Keith is a superhero who’s been pining after the cute boy who works at the music shop across the street from HQ. He also doesn’t know that the cute boy is the same vigilante he wants to bring to justice.

>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the chapters are insanely long but they’re all worth it. the plot develops rather slowly but it’s perfect as it is :P the slowest of burns. despite that it never made me lose interest in it so definitely go check it out if you have multiple hours of nothing to do!! :D


I’m gonna stop here because this list is already insanely long but it is faaaaaar from finished, believe me. This fandom produces so many good fics I can’t keep up with it ; - ;

Chemistry || Peter Parker Imagine

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Request: (i got you fam) @tom-holla Hey!!! Can I request a peter park x reader where reader has a major crush on peter and they turn out to be lab partners and she like can’t get two words out when talking to him bc she’s so nervous and he starts teasing her about it all cute and asking why she’s so nervous and if she likes him and she ends up admitting it and stuff? FLUFF! Thank u sm!

Word Count: 1090

A/N: This had great potential to be good, but the ending kinda sucks, and so does the rest of it 

Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh


Midtown High. For most students, high school is the worst place on Earth. But Midtown was the only place Y/N could see her muse, Peter Parker. He was just such a good person, which made her like him so much more than she already did.

Y/N wasn’t really friends with Peter. They were just acquaintances due to having so many classes together since middle school. Most of the time, she avoided him at all costs because she felt so awkward around him. She has talked to the brown haired boy before, but she couldn’t even mutter a proper sentence to him.

Y/N and Peter both had Chemistry class together. It was one of her favorite classes because she could watch him ,first hand, being the smart kid everyone knew him as.

She walked into the class which only held few students in it so far. She quickly took out her supplies for the class. Y/N looked at the door, and saw Peter walk in. His lab seat was across the aisle from hers, next to his friend Ned. She looked down at the table, suddenly interested in the graffiti done by other kids at the school.

Peter put his backpack on his lap to take out his Chemistry books. He looked over and saw Y/N tracing something on the table. He smiled, “Hey, Y/N.” She shot her head up to look at him, kind of stunned. “H-hey P-Peter,” she stuttered out. She smiled back but quickly shifted her gaze back down to the table, with her shoulders hunched. Why am I so awkward around him?

The tardy bell soon rang as everyone got situated in their seats. Everyone in the class gave their attention to the teacher, indicating her to get started.

“Alright, everyone. For the next couple of weeks we will be doing a series of labs where you will need a partner,” Y/N’s classmates started to look around to find their friends as partners, “But, I gave you all partners so that I know you guys are actually doing your work.” Some of the teenagers groaned. The teacher sighed, expecting their responses.

“So I made a list of who everyone is working with. Once you find your partner, go to one of your lab tables and start the procedures that I left. The materials needed are also on the tables. If you need anything or have any questions just come to me.” She said with a smile, displaying the pairs on the projector. Y/N looked for her name, having trouble since everyone was standing in her way to find their partners. Y/N’s lab partner sitting next to her stood up and moved away, distracting her a bit more. Before she could find her name on the list, Peter walked up to her. “I think we’re partners.” He said, taking the seat next to her.

Y/N looked up at the board, the sea of people finally cleared, and saw her name next to Peter Parker’s. “Oh.” She said, not looking up at him. Peter grabbed the list of procedures and placed it between the two. “You don’t talk much, do you?” He stated as he opened his notebook to write down everything. Y/N mimicked his actions, swallowing hard from embarrassment. She couldn’t exactly say that she had a huge crush on him, making her feel awkward around him. Before she could make up an excuse, Peter looked up from his paper, glancing at her. “Or I just make you nervous?” He asked with a smirk, making a rosy blush appear on her cheeks.

Y/N shook her head, “N-No it’s j-just,” Y/N sighed and muttered, “I-I don’t know.”

Peter chuckled, “So I do make you nervous.” He stated. Peter was never this confident while talking to a girl. But Y/N’s attitude was so adorable to him. She groaned, “N-No, you d-don’t.“ 

Peter went back to writing on his paper. “Your voice is saying otherwise darling’.” He beamed. Y/N just didn’t respond, to save herself some dignity. She continued to copy what was on the paper, without getting distracted by her crush.


The rest of the class period went on, Peter still poking fun at her. But he couldn’t let go of that cute stutter she had. “So, what is it then? Why you can’t talk to me?” Peter pushed, not looking away from his notes. Y/N blushed, “I-I don’t kn-know.”

“Well, I think you like me.” He said smirking once again, dropping his pencil when the bell suddenly rang, ending this class. Students were rushing to put their stuff away to get to their next class. Y/N sat there frozen as she watched Peter stand up and put his notebook into his backpack. “No, P-Peter. It isn’t l-like that.” Y/N stammered, moving to put away her supplies as well.

Peter turned to look at her, “Well, that sucks.” What. Why would that suck? Did he like her too? “W-Why?” Y/N questioned following the boy out of class.

It’s now or never, Peter thought. He shrugged his shoulders, playing with the straps to his bag, not making eye contact with her. “I was kinda hoping you had a crush on me. I thought we had…. Chemistry.” He said, emphasizing the word Chemistry.

The joke made Y/N chuckle. Music to his ears. He didn’t hear the shy girl laugh often so he wanted to treasure this moment. It means that she was getting more comfortable around him, just slightly. “Do-do you like me?” She asked, starting to stutter.

He stopped in the hallway to turn and look at her straight in the eye with a sincere look on his face. “I have for a while, Y/N.” He said in all seriousness. No kidding around.

“M-me too,Peter.” She muttered with a smile. They looked at each other for a second before Peter broke the silence between the two.

“Do you want to hang out this weekend or something? We could study for that test next week.” Peter suggested, starting to walk towards their next class again. “I-I would love to,” she smiled, “but only since we have Chemistry.” This time Peter was the one to laugh at the corny joke.

Peter was finally able to act like a normal teenager. No Spider-Man. No superheros. No super powers. Just him and a girl. Together.

Reader’s guide - master list of my favourite fics and writers

So I was originally just making this for myself as a shortcut to author’s I knew I liked in different genres for when I want to read something particular, when I figured why not make this a public post so everyone can access it, right? 

All of the present links are to the blog, fic/series, or master list of a writer whose work I adore and all are marvel/avengers based. If you want me to remove you off this list or even just change the way I describe your work please message me and I will do so straight away. All descriptions are only based on my perceptions of the content there is at the time of making the post.

Like most of our fandom and like my URL, icon, blog description etc infer, I’m a slut for Bucky Barnes and this list reflects that. 

Smut City

@buckysbackpackbuckle - Masterlist - okay so this list isn’t all 100% smut but it mostly is and the smut is just so good. Oneshots and a couple short series, mostly Bucky x reader, other ventures include Peter Parker, Lance Tucker and Bucky x Steve x Reader 

@fvckingbuckyandsteve ​ - Masterlist - Basically the URL says it all, pure smut featuring Bucky, Steve, Bucky and Steve, Seb and Chris being sinful with reader, plus a few bonus Avengers sex drabbles and a Steve x reader x Nat oneshot. 

@actuallyasgardian - Masterlist - mostly smutty one shots and drabbles, Bucky x reader, Bucky x Steve x Reader, Thor x Reader, much great sin.

@sebastiansin-221b - Masterlist - Bucky, Seb, and Chris Evans smut goodness, mostly oneshots, a fabulous Stony smut 

@just-call-me-mrs-captain -Masterlist - so much great smut, largely ft Bucky, Steve, Seb, Chris, bit of Nat bit of Sam + more, one shots series and drabbles and some great Bucky x reader x Steve action. 

@fvckingavengers - Masterlist - pretty much, in my humble opinion, marvel smut queen. In one shots and short series, lots of Steve and Bucky, with some Pitero, Loki, Thor, Nat, Tony and Wanda on the side and a generous amount of reader x two-and-even-sometimes-three-character-action

Fluff Town 

@writingruna - Masterlist - mostly mega fluffy/ romantic one shots + bunch of drabbles feat. so many characters we got: Bucky, Steve, Pietro, Wanda, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Loki, Tony

@writingbarnes - Masterlist - I’ll be honest this tumblr has done SO MANY AMAZING FICS I am yet to peruse them all but from what I can tell its basically fluffy or general oneshots and series, including Bucky, Steve, Tony, Thor, Clint, Pietro, Wanda, Loki, Nat, and Bruce sorted into an impeccably presented series of character-categorised lists

@buckyywiththegoodhair - Masterlist - much Bucky x reader fluff series, one shots and drabbles with a hint of Steve here and there and perhaps a love triangle 

@pleasecallmecaptain - Masterlist - Bucky and Steve x reader fluff city one-shots, a series and a pile of dribbles 

@scarlettsoldier - Masterlist - These are all just pretty sweet even if they’re not all overly fluffy its just kind of a happy time. Features Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader and Wanda x Reader

Mixed

@sebseyesandbuckysthighs - Masterlist - THE BEST AU SERIES YOU CAN IMAGINE: reader x Vampire!Bucky  (I don’t even tend to like AU’s OR series!). Some heavenly Bucky series, many Bucky one shots and some Steve, Tony, and Clint one shots. Angst, smut and fluff, all labelled. 

@backpackfullofplums - Masterlist - fluff and angst and smut, oh my! All Bucky x reader (smut is labelled). Great lil descriptions for each title. 

@buckysplums14 - Masterlist - basically all the Bucky smut and fluff (labelled) you can imagine in the forms of one shots and short series. Features Bucky x reader, Stucky, Bucky x Nat, Bucky x Wanda, Bucky x Reader x Third party 

@after-avenging-hours - Masterlist - smut and fluff and angst (smut not labelled but kinda clear a lot of the time in titles and descriptions). Mostly Bucky, Steve and Bucky and Steve, featuring some Thor, Loki, Bruce, Sam. Oneshots and series. The disney corruptions are an actual work of smutty genius. 

@badults​ - Masterlist - smutty and fluffy one shots (smut is labelled) with a variety of characters including Bucky, Steve, Tony, Pietro, Wanda, T’Challa, Peggy and Clint. 

@marvelfic - Masterlist - smutty and fluffy one-shots and short series (smut is labelled), characters include Bucky, Steve, Bruce and Clint, also features non-romantic Avengers fics.

@stories-from-stark-tower -  Masterlist - one-shots come in fluffy or angst/mega feels with the following characters; Tony, Steve, Bucky, Bruce, Pietro, Wanda, Clint, Nat, Thor, Scott, Loki and Wade Wilson (Deadpool), various drabbles and one Bucky series. 

@mywritingsblog​ - Masterlist - fluff and smut (smut is labelled) with Tom Hiddleston and Sebastian Stan, the actors and various characters they play, featuring reader and various female characters, one shots and series.

@rogersxbarnesx​ - Masterlist - Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers galore, series and oneshots, Stucky and stucky x reader action, and a Wanda Maximoff appearance. Features smut and fluff and some angst (smut is labelled). 

@shieldsshallbebroken - Masterlist - oneshots and drabbles, fluff and smut (smut not labelled), great (and smutty) A/O/B steve x reader x bucky series, links to whopping impressive fics on Ao3

@221bshrlocked​ - Masterlist - Bucky x reader angst, fluff and smut (smut not labelled) one shots and series. Professor!Bucky!! 

@avasparks - Masterlist - Pretty much Bucky/ Seb Stan in many one shots, drabbles, series, featuring AUs, Steve x Reader x Bucky action. Fluff, angst and smut (smut not always labelled) 

@sebbytrash - Masterlist - Mostly Bucky x reader, fluff and smut (smut is labelled), features a bit of Tony and T’Challa with reader too

@bucky-plums-barnes - Masterlist - Lots of cute Bucky x reader prompted drabble, fluff and smut mostly (smut is labelled so are trigger warnings), bucky x reader one shots of the same variety

@imhereforbvcky - Masterlist - Mostly Bucky x Reader, some great series and also drabbles and one shots: angst and fluff but slays me with the smut

Something Different aka “Other” 

@the-life-of-bucky-barnes​ - not fics but Bucky Barnes’ instagram, genius drawings and captions = A+ quality content.


LAST UPDATE: 02/01/17

NOTES: 

  • When i say smut is labelled or not labelled I mean from the master list, most of the not labelled ones include warnings or labels once you click on the stories
  • I intend to update this list over time
  • Please message me if you find any links don’t work or have any other issues (eg. see top of post)
  • Anyone is so welcome to message me if you write Marvel fic and maybe would like to be added to the list I’m 100% open to that and always love reading new content!

I honestly just made this for my own reference and convenience but then thought others would possibly benefit from it too so I hope people find it useful

"I'm gonna kill him" -- Pt 1

Imagine – You are forced into an arranged marriage

“We need this Y/N. Our family needs it”. My mother spoke, standing in front of me at her desk with my father. They wanted me to marry this wealthy Shadowhunter that came from a well known family tree.
“And what happens to what I want?”. I said, not lifting my head to look at them.
“Oh don’t be so selfish! We have given you wonderful opportunities and have gotten you so far in this institute, you owe this to us”. My mother snapped. My father blinked nervously until he spoke, “Anyway it’s done. He’s coming to the institute tomorrow where you will be married immediately. Everything will be set up, you just have to show up, do you think you could do that?”, he was so patronising.
I glared at them but there was nothing I could do. I had to do this for my family, “Just tell me the time and I’ll be there”.

I walked out of their office to be greeted by Izzy and Clary walking down the corridor, “Hey, what was that emergency meeting all about?”, Izzy asked whilst both of them linked each of my arms. I was training with her when I got ushered to my parents.
“Oh just stupid family drama, wanna go into town for drinks?”, I asked the both of them needing one last night out with my girls before my freedom would be taken away.
“Of course, give us half an hour and we’ll be ready!”. They both ran off to get all dolled up whilst I just went back to my room.

I sat on my bed and just went over what my parents had said to me, ‘Don’t be so selfish’. I’ve been everything but selfish. I have always put everyone before myself. A knock snapped me out of my thoughts. I got up to answer it, “Izzy I thought you said half an-”. I opened the door to Alec. “Sorry I thought you might have been Izzy and Clary”. I held the door open and motioned for him to come in.
“So what can I help you with?”. Me and Alec had been close for a while, we had a flirty relationship, it was playful, we knew we both liked each other.
“Erm…this sounds stupid but I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight…for dinner…just me and you?”. I was so happy, the big grin on my face supported this.
“Alec I would-“, then I remembered. “but I can’t”, I didn’t want to tell anyone of the marriage yet. “I’m going out with Clary and Izzy tonight around town”. I saw the disappointment on his face which broke me.
“But you can come too, you can bring Jace and Simon as well if you want”. His famous smirk was now visible, obviously pleased with the invitation.
“Sounds great, I’ll go get the others”. He left, grazing my arm with his hand as he walked past. I walked over to my wardrobe looking at the options for me to wear. I wasn’t in a mood to make an effort so black jeans and a T it was.

I lay down and waited for someone to come and get me. The next thing I knew I opened my eyes to Jace leaning over me at my bedside.
“Finally! I’ve been shouting you for like 10 minutes!”. I sat up and let my eyes adjust.
“I’m sorry I must have dozed off”.
Jace looked at me worriedly, “What is wrong with you lately?”.
“I’m just exhausted, and stressed with all the mission reports I’m so behind on. The clave is on my back a lot these past few weeks”.
“Well we don’t have to go out tonight we can always-“.
I cut him off, “NO no….I need this”. He nodded with a look of concern and put an arm around me as we walked to go and meet the others.

We arrived at the club. I walked in with Clary and Izzy by my side whilst the other guys followed us in as we had more experience with mundane clubs.

Three hours, 7 shots, 4 vodka & cokes and a bottle of Malibu later….lets just say I was a little more than tipsy. We were all sat in a booth on the far side of the club right next to the dance floor. Jace and Clary were in the middle of a make out session whilst Simon was watching star wars on his phone as Izzy had passed out with her legs across Simon and her head on my lap. Me and Alec were talking…well, he was talking, I was slurring, although I could feel the room gradually starting to spin slower. Then all of a sudden Alec kissed me. It was long, passionate and so overdue. The second we pulled apart my lips did something before my brain could think about it.
“I’m getting married tomorrow”. My eyes were still closed from the kiss and they stayed closed for a few more seconds as I was scared to see what his reaction would be. All of a sudden I felt completely sober. I opened my eyes and regretted it immediately. He looked heartbroken, confused, vulnerable and angry. All those emotions were showing on one face and I was the reason why. Before I could say anything else he was gone, running out of the club faster than I’ve ever seen someone move.
“ALEC-“, I called out but the music was too loud and he was too far away, he wouldn’t have even come back even if he did hear me. Jace must have heard me though as he broke apart from Clary and chased after Alec. I looked down at my lap, tears fell from my face and onto Izzy but she was dead to the world to notice. When I looked up I saw Clary and Simon look at me with an expression that said ‘you have some explaining to do’.

I woke up in Clary’s room. She didn’t want to be on my own because of the state I was in last night, drunk and hysterical. After Simon took Izzy back to his I cried to Clary trying to get everything out whilst I still could. She was so supportive and was furious with what I was forced into but she understood that I felt like I had to do it, not for me but for my family. Jace had text Clary late last night to tell her he was back at the institute with Alec. They had just walked around the streets he said in the text and just talked. Alec had told Jace about the marriage, Clary explained it to Jace over the phone in which he told Alec but Jace was still pissed with me and Alec was still harbouring the same feelings from last night.
“They’ll both understand soon enough”. Clary must have noticed me staring into space and she must have knew that I was worrying about it all. I nodded.
“What time is it?”.
She checked her phone, “9:30 AM”.
I jumped up out of the bed and raced to the door, “I was meant to be in the chapel half an hour ago!”.

I ran into the chapel to find my mother pacing and my father talking to the silent brother who would be initiating the wedding.
“I’m sorry, I was out late and I lost track of time this morning”.
My mother walked towards me, “Enough with your excuses!”. I felt the tears build up behind my eyes threatening to run down my cheeks but I fought them back. She dragged me to the front of the room where I was met by my father and the silent brother. As I stood not listening to a word they were saying the door swung open. I clenched my jaw in anticipation for my future partner to walk in but to my relief it was Clary, Simon and Izzy. I hadn’t asked them to come and I didn’t want them to but right now I knew I really needed them. A tear escaped as I smiled at them. They sat at the very back not wanting to disturb any family business. Since what felt like forever I finally felt relaxed knowing that whatever happened today I had people who truly loved me just a couple of footsteps away. Then the door opened again and suddenly my anxiety went from 0 to 100 real fast. In he walked, the person I presumed I was getting married off to. The closer he came the more I realised he wasn’t the worst looking, I mean he was kinda cute; dark hair, tall, skinny yet muscle-y…I was literally describing Alec. Did this mean I had a type? No one could compare to how I felt about Alec. He was the one I truly wanted to be with, but my feelings didn’t matter.

The vows had been said, the runes had been drawn and the rings had been given. The wedding was over. Everyone dispersed until there was just me at the front of the room. Still stood in the place I had been stood throughout. My freedom had been taken…my future had been written. As I watched my family leave I let my guard down and all tears rushed out. Clary, Simon and Izzy raced to me. I didn’t know what to do anymore or what would happen to me now. For the first time in my life I felt lost and had no idea what I was going to do.

After the wedding I had gone straight to my room. The others wanted me to hang out with them so I could take my mind off of things for a few hours but I just wanted to be alone. I jumped straight in the shower and just stood there for what felt like hours under the hot water. I eventually got out and started to get changed when I heard noises coming from outside the bathroom door. I walked out, expecting to see Izzy gathering clothes so I could come and escape to Simon’s place with them but it wasn’t. It was my hubby…William I think his name was. I payed no attention throughout the ceremony so I avoided saying his name during the vows.
“What are you doing?”. I asked as he was putting everything from my room into boxes.
He looked back at me with what I can only describe as disgust on his face. “You are to be moved into my room on the East wing, if we want to make this believable”. The minute he turned back around anger rushed through me. How dare he come in here. How dare he take my things and look at me like that. I walked over to him and started unpacking all of my stuff.
“I’m not moving anywhere, my things are staying in this room and so am I”. I didn’t look at him. It felt good, it felt like I was getting control back over my life. This feeling stopped when he spun me around and slapped me across the face. His force was so strong that it knocked me to the ground. He grabbed the remaining boxes and left the room. I just lay there. Shocked at what had just happened.

I eventually composed myself and headed towards William’s wing, as I didn’t want to find out what would happen if I stayed in my room, when I bumped into Clary. She gasped and touched the side of my face, “Oh my god what did you do?”. I know she didn’t mean to say it the way I took it and she had no idea what had happened but all I heard coming from her voice was her saying it was my fault. Maybe it was my fault.
“Oh I was just stupid and hit my head on my bedside table from my nap before”. I didn’t want people to know and start gossiping. The wedding had already made me the topic of conversation on every mission so this would just make things worse. She just laughed, “What are you like!”. Then she left. I was just stood in an empty corridor.

•5 DAYS PASSED•

I gently pulled on an oversized jumper, for the purpose of no one seeing my bruises, and my sweatpants. I hadn’t spoken to anyone for days. I hadn’t even left the room in days because I couldn’t bare to see people so they could congratulate me on my wonderful new marriage, but I knew I had to train.
As I got to the training room I saw that half of the room was already occupied by Jace. Just him and a punch bag. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night at the bar, as well as Alec.
He saw me walk in, rolled his eyes and carried on punching. I grabbed my throwing knives and my seraph blade and went over to the dummies to practise my fighting skills.
After an hour Jace came over and threw a duel stick towards my feet, “Lets go”. The way he said it was so cold. I picked up the stick and walked to the centre of the room where he was stood and without being ready he struck the back of my legs and I fell to the ground. I gasped loudly and Jace looked at me like I was being dramatic but the pain was more than it usually was.
“How could you do it? How could you hurt him like that?”.
I slowly got back to my feet and steadied myself, “I didn’t want any of this to happen! I had to do this, my parents-“. He cut me off.
“NO”, he yelled. “There was no excuse, everyone has a choice and you chose to break my brothers heart. That night you told him at the club I could feel his heartbreak, there’s just no excuse for that”.
“HEY”, this time I yelled which threw him off guard. “I love Alec…so much”, tears started to build up and a lump was lodged in my throat. “I wanted to be with him and the night he asked me out was one of the happiest moments of my life. But no one understands. No one understands the pressure I was under”. I couldn’t hold back anymore and the tears fell. Jace was stood looking down at the floor, silent. I began to walk away when he gabbed my wrist. I screamed and fell down because of the pain. Jace stood back in shock not knowing what he had done.
He knelt down beside me, “What is with you today? And why are you dressed like winter for training”. I caressed my wrist, he pulled my sleeve up and saw all the bruises. He pulled up my other sleeve where more were hidden.
“Where the hell did you get these from?!”. I quickly got out of his grip and pulled down my sleeves and stood up.
I turned my back to him, “T-they’re from m-my missions”. I stuttered, not knowing what excuse seemed best.
“No they’re not because I’m always on your missions and we haven’t had one since last week, these are new bruises”.
A new set of tears came to the surface and when I turned to face him and he noticed.
“Is he hurting you?”.
At first I didn’t say anything, I just looked at the floor refusing to make eye contact with him. But the second I looked into his eyes I started hysterically crying and that’s when he knew.
He immediately came to my side and gently pulled my into a hug. It felt good to get it off my chest. After what felt like an hour he loosened he grip. “I’m gonna kill him”. He was began to walk off but I ran in front of him pleading not to.
“Please don’t! Please Jace”.
“Give me one good reason not to”.
“Because if he knows I’ve told people then I’m dead Jace. He lashes out when the tiniest things happen, so god only knows what he’s going to do if you beat him!”.
He nodded, hands still in tight fists but he understood.

Originally posted by alec-baene

MC does successful suicide prank (Trigger Warning)

Geez, this is dark. You okay, Nonny? Sorry it took so long to do this request. I wasn’t feeling it and I didn’t want to half ass this. It was also very hard to think of this many ways to suicide… prank. So I made some accidental pranks. Maybe I overthought it. Anyways TRIGGA WARNING YALL.

I didn’t do the minor trio cause these were hard. But I did do Vanderwood cause I was able to think of something short and fun.

Yoosung

  • “MC, please, I need to study.”
  • Yoosung had ignored you so much the whole weekend.
  • The ONLY time you two had free time this whole month.
  • But what could you do, he was studying to get his Ph.D.
  • After dealing with this all day, you took some pills to soothe your head.
  • You left the bottle on the coffee table and took a nap on the couch.
  • You woke up to Yoosung shaking you, “MC, please wake up!”
  • You sat up and your gaze met Yoosung’s tears.
  • “I-I’m taking you to the ER, right now.”
  • He pulled you up from the couch.
  • “What? Why?”
  • His eyes darted over to the bottle of pills on the floor.
  • “Oh, I spilled the bottle!”
  • “Wait. You didn’t?”
  • “Didn’t what?”
  • In that moment, Yoosung’s knees buckled and he knelt on the floor.
  • “Yoosung, what’s wrong??”
  • He couldn’t even talk between his hiccups and cries.
  • After putting two and two together, you realized Yoosung thought you had overdosed.
  • “You thought I had…?”
  • You didn’t even need to finish that question cause all he could do was nod and sob.
  • You pulled him in for a kiss and serenaded him with loving words.
  • “I could never. I’m so happy with you. I love you.”
  • Yoosung didn’t leave your side that whole night.
  • He rather spend time with you right now than anything else.

Zen

  • “I’m not so sure, Mr. Director.”
  • “MC, it’s a little white lie! It’ll be the big money shot.”
  • “But isn’t this a bit much?”
  • “Look, it’s been weeks and he’s still having trouble emoting everything we need him too. We’re wasting so much time and resources on this.”
  • “I know, but I don’t want to scare him. We don’t even know how he’s going to react!”
  • Before you could get a response, the director spoke into his walkie talkie, “Zen is here, action.”
  • You looked over to Zen, who spotted you and waved at you.
  • You looked back up to the director who winked at you and said, “Break a leg!” And with that, he pushed you off the scaffolding.
  • “BABE?!”
  • You fell right up until 3 feet above the ground. The only support you had, a rope around your neck.
  • “MC! NO NO NO!”
  • He ran over to you and tried to push you back up. “HELP! SOMEONE, CUT THE WIRE!”
  • Stagehands rushed over and cut the wire around your neck.
  • Zen pulled you towards him and sat you down.
  • “WHAT WAS THAT?!”
  • “Zen,  I-.”
  • “No! Shut up! Do you know what you were trying to do! Do you know just how I would have felt if you succeeded?! A-are you not happy with me? I-I-I… What would I do without you?”
  • Zen collapsed to his knees in front of you. “What would even make you want to do this? Aren’t you happy with me? Did I do something wrong? I love you so much, my whole world almost ended with you.”
  • He reached his hand up to wipe the tears now on your cheek.
  • He pulled you into a hug, and you felt his chest heaving.
  • “CUT!” The director came out of his hiding spot.
  • “What?” Zen pulled back looking at the cameras around him.
  • “We did it! We finally have the shot!”
  • “What???” He turned back to you.
  • You unbuttoned your top to show a harness around your body, which is where the wire was really strung to.
  • “Zen, I- You were- I wasn’t on board with-”
  • “I told MC how you were having trouble portraying the right emotions and I thought it would be nice to do this stunt to help you along.”
  • Zen was angry, upset, crying, scared, but mostly relieved.
  • He took your hand and pulled you into his dressing room ignoring everyone else.
  • You spent the whole time apologizing, and Zen just held you lecturing in your ear and every now and then telling you how much he loved you.

Jaehee

  • You didn’t mean to prank Jaehee, it just came naturally.
  • You were in the tub trying out new bathbombs.
  • This one in particular had a nice red color with a sweet rose smell.
  • As the ball dissolved it left the water a deep red color.
  • “Looks like I am washing off someone’s blood. Kinda like my blood.”
  • As you dozed off, staring at the water you heard Jaehee come in.
  • Now’s good as time as any to play dead, right?
  • Nope.
  • Jaehee knocked on the bathroom door but since you gave no response, she opened it to make sure you were alright.
  • In a matter of seconds she was shaking your shoulders and yelling, “MC? Wake up! Can you hear me? MC!!!”
  • “Oh my god,” She turned around and grabbed her phone
  • But then she turned back to you who was now awake and you smiling.
  • “Gotchu!”
  • Your smile faded as you saw that her face was pale, eyes widened.
  • “Hey, Jaehee, it was a joke.”
  • No response from her.
  • All you feel is guilt now and all you think is, “Wow, dumb joke, me.”
  • “It’s okay, J–”
  • She cut you off and just screams at you, her grip tightening on your arms.
  • “It’s not okay!!! Do you know how scared I was?! Why would you even joke about this?!”
  • “Jaehee, your hands are hurting me.”
  • She realized how much of his composure she lost and let go.
  • “Please, don’t ever joke about this again. Never again.”
  • Tears forming in her eyes.
  • “Never. I promise.”
  • All you could do to reassure her was pull her into a hug.
  • You spent the rest of the night holding her, and telling her how happy you are to be with her.

Jumin

  • You were having a crappy day.
  • The cake topper would be spilling red wine over all over your blouse.
  • You didn’t even have the energy to clean up.
  • So you sat on the couch for a minute before proceeding with your day.
  • Only, you fell asleep.
  • It wasn’t long before you jolt awake from the sound of glass shattering.
  • Your eyes follow the sound to Jumin who was standing by the door.
  • He dropped his bags, but that wasn’t the issue.
  • His eyes were fixed on you, fear instilled in them.
  • “J-jumin?”
  • He finally let his breath go as he stumbled to you.
  • “MC, what would I have done if I had lost you?”
  • “Wh-what?”
  • He pulled you into the tightest hug.
  • “If this is a joke, I don’t understand it.”
  • You rubbed his back, clearly not understanding what he meant.
  • After a moment, he pulled back to ask, “Why are you even wearing that?”
  • You looked down and realized the wine formed what resembled a blood stain on your chest.
  • “Oh, oh!!!  It-I-I’m sorry! I meant to change and fell asleep!”
  • Jumin sighed before he started to unbutton your blouse.
  • “J-jumin?!?”
  • “I’m getting you cleaned up.”
  • You blushed after realized what you thought was wrong.
  • “But of course, that’s after I make you remember how much I would miss you if you did leave one day.”

Saeyoung

  • Saeyoung and you had driven to the top of a mountain.
  • You were both waiting for the sunset.
  • You peered the edge of a cliff to see how steep of a drop it was.
  • Finally you turned to Saeyoung and calmly asked, “Do you still love me?”
  • He looked at you a little confused but answered, “Yes.”
  • “How much?”
  • “Hum… This much!” He held his hands only a foot apart from each other.
  • “ONLY THAT MUCH?!”
  • He laughed right before telling you, “This much more than possible.”
  • Instead of hitting him like you would usually do, you smiled at him and whispered, “I love you too. And I’m so sorry…”
  • “Sorry for what?”
  • “This.” With that, you stepped over the edge.
  • “NO! MC!” He ran over to you faster than he ever moved.
  • He wasn’t even thinking and threw himself off the ledge after you
  • He was shocked that he landed two yards below the ledge… right in front of you
  • “SORRY FOR REVENGE!”
  • You finally got payback for the mean prank he pulled a while back.
  • You stuck out your tongue practically joyed that he believed it.
  • But you felt a drop of water on your face. Rain?
  • No… Saeyoung was crying.
  • You Fucked Up.
  • “W-wait. It was a joke! S-Saeyoung!?”
  • He pulled you into the tightest hug ever.
  • “Saeyoung?”
  • His entire body was trembling against you.
  • Just his silence alone was enough to make you regret everything.
  • “Saeyoung? I’m sorry. I wasn’t.. I didn’t think it through..”
  • “I love you so much so don’t ever take that away. Please, MC. Please…”
  • You hugged him back and only told him, “I’ll never take that from you.”
  • Now you two just had the new issue of getting back on top of the cliff.

Vanderwood

  • Vanderwood walks into the room to find you face down in a pool of blood.
  • “MC, get up. I don’t have time for your jokes. Luciel is already a handful.”
  • He walks away.
  • You sit up.
  • Drat, Maybe next time.
  • “And clean up the mess.”
Why doesnt SOMEONE do something aobut ALL THESE FUCKING BOTS ON social MEDIA ???????????????
  • Co-Worker: *internally* The new guy is so cool. Well, I guess he's not the new guy anymore because he has been working here for months now, but he's still great. I look up to him so much. He's funny, and outgoing. He even gave me a cute nickname. He never recognizes my affection for him, but I think today is the day. Today is the day he'll realize how cool and cute I am.
  • Co-Worker: H-Hi!
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Do you like music?
  • New Guy: Yeah, I mean everyone likes music. Kinda weird if you don't. You're friends with that rep, right?
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: You know, the mopey one. Dark hair. Does she like me?
  • Co-Worker: Everyone likes you. I like you.
  • New Guy: Yeah, but that rep. That rep doesn't talk to me.
  • Co-Worker: I'm sure she likes you. You're so cool and kind and... uh, Britney Spears followed me on twitter!
  • New Guy: Whoa, what!? Britney Spears!? You're fucking joking!
  • Co-Worker: I'm serious. I guess, I'm really cool now. Hahahahahahahaha.
  • New Guy: Lemme see.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: Lemme see your phone. I wanna see Britney following you. Can you like DM her?
  • Co-Worker: You're not allowed to take your phone out at work.
  • New Guy: Come on, no one cares.
  • Co-Worker: Uh, here you go, I guess. *hands new guy her phone*
  • New Guy: *checks twitter* ...This is a bot.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: It's not the real Britney Spears, this is very obviously a bot.
  • Co-Worker: No, it's totally her. How can you even tell?
  • New Guy: First off, she only has two followers. One of which is you and the other is another Britney Spears bot. Secondly, her twitter name is Brittany Spear. Third, all of her posts are about discount fishing rods.
  • Co-Worker: Oh... I guess I didn't notice.
  • New Guy: You're fucking with me aren't you?
  • Co-Worker: *sweats* Sure, yeah.
  • New Guy: *laughs* I love you, braids. You're funny as shit.
  • Co-Worker: You love me!?
  • New Guy: Yeah, as a minor work acquaintance. Hey, if you talk to that rep later on, tell her to hit me up some time.
  • Co-Worker: Sure... yeah.
  • *later*
  • Co-Worker: *checking phone* It can't be a bot. It's definitely not a bot. Why would a Britney Spears bot follow me. I'm not even interested in fishing. It has to be the real Britney. *DMs the bot* Hey, hello Britney.
  • Brittany Spear: hi what're up :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney, I knew you were real!
  • Brittany Spear: lol hey ! :) :P
  • Co-Worker: Britney, you have to prove to this guy at my job that you're real. He's so cute and I love him so much and I want him to notice me.
  • Brittany Spear: wow hey did you kno that u can decrease you're morrtgrage rate by up to 20% check it out at www.extra.savings.ca/riwuWqoaQ/ref/100200
  • Co-Worker: Britney, this is serious.
  • Brittany Spear: Hi :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Brittany Spear: do U want boys to like U 🤔
  • Co-Worker: Yes, Britney! Show me the way!
  • Brittany Spear: is verry easy just follow this link and find your way https://find.your.way.jp/4wfwf42435753g$single/trinity/
  • Co-Worker: *clicks link*
  • Co-Worker: *pupils dilate*
  • *later*
  • New Guy: *working halfheartedly*
  • Co-Worker: *stumbles into new guy's cubicle* Greeting.
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Does your like fishing?
  • New Guy: Nah. Never been much of an outdoorsman unless it involves extreme sports.
  • Co-Worker: Cooooooool. Go to www DOT amazone DOT co DOT de FORWARDSLASH promo FORWARDSLASH yourdiscountnow FORWARDSLASH for 90% discount code on premium fishing rods.
  • New Guy: You alright, braids? You sound kinda complete weird, and your eyes are a little completely black.
  • Co-Worker: Actavis, sizzurup, lean, drank. I've low prices completely legal real prescription email me at colombiaeastdrugstore AT gmail.com w FORWARDSLASH offers 100% secure line. Encrypted currencies accepted: BTC, Dogecoin.
  • New Guy: Uh... yeah. *leads co-worker out of his cubicle* I'm kinda completely busy at the moment. So I'll talk to you later braids. You should probably get back to work too.
  • Co-Worker: Been rejected? I can help you. Popular girls are on hand to chat 24/7 with advice at www DOT ez DASH chat DOT co DOT nz FORWARDSLASH promo FORWARDSLASH res575929682
  • *later*
  • Brittany Spear: *tweets* Why is it so dark? Why am I so numb?
texts from last night! meme

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

[text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

[text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

[text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW

[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.

[text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

[text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese

[text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it

[text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?”

[text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.

[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

[text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

[text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife.

[text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops.

[text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

[text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling

[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.

[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us

[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”

[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.

[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”

[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

[text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

[text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart.

[text] When was the last time you wore pants?

[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time

[text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent

[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?

[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?

[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?

[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

[text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin.

[text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb

[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

[text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

[text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant

[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.

[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

[text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

[text] you traded sex for a burrito?

[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.

[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.

[text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

[text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”

[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.

[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year

[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

[text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

[text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

[text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok.

[text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

[text] Because when I say 'You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’

[text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

[text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

[text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

[text] never. drinking. again.

[text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

[text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

[text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.