i mean eat in another way

Work in progress 🏋️‍♀️🚨‼️
It’s been 4 weeks since I’ve completed committed myself to changing my lifestyle. I go to bed early, I eat WAY more veggies, I’ve been intuitive eating - which means I’ve been more focused on what foods my body reacts too - I wake up early to hit the gym, I push myself, I dedicate time to learning everyday, and I’ve been trying to put God first in my life. Mentally I’ve come a long way and I’m excited to see where I’ll be in another month from now📆

4

[15-16/02/2017]
8-9/100 days of productivity
Yesterday I was productive in another way, meaning I cleaned my room, did some reading and went to see the flat I might me renting for the next year. Today I finally started writing my essay ft. listening to Hamilton soundtrack and eating rice with roasted sweet potato and broccoli and guacamole! This happens when I have four hours between classes and decide to spend them in a productive way.

10

By the way man, this why we work well together, you know? You see free soup, you make a decision to eat it.

Stanford “______” Pines

Because these are fun:

Stanford “Lab safety is for squares” Pines

Stanford “It’s been a while since I’ve talked to another person, I should probably shower” Pines

Stanford “This isn’t an unhealthy relationship at all” Pines

Stanford “I’m an expert on children’s nutrition even though I only eat nerd pills” Pines

Stanford “Let me just give this charismatic twelve year old a crossbow real quick” Pines

Stanford “This isn’t unhealthy at all” Pines

Stanford “Sleep is for pansies” Pines

Stanford “This unmarked bag of toffee peanuts must mean that my brother who has loved and supported me all his life has decided to purposely ruin my life” Pines

Stanford “There is no way this could be an accident” Pines

Stanford “Communication is for cowards” Pines

Stanford “This tarot card literally has a triangle with a snake going through the place where I know its eye would be if it were Bill, but I’m still going to believe Bill when he tries to make the tarot reading sound like it’s talking about Fiddleford” Pines

Stanford “I have such little faith in my own abilities but hold myself to such high standards that I turned to the ancient equivalent of Satan-Google for answers instead of continuing to search for them on my own” Pines

Stanford “I’ll take the fall for mistakes made by others, unless the mistake was Stanley breaking my science fair project” Pines

Stanford “I’ll punch Stan in the face for re-opening the portal but while we’re in the Fearamid and Stan’s blaming himself for Bill’s reign of terror I’ll backpedal and re-assert that the whole thing is my fault, all while failing to recognize that it’s actually Bill’s fault” Pines

Stanford “Social interaction isn’t a requirement for survival and I’m perfectly fine without it” Pines

The Problems with First Dates (or, How To Really Really Really Not Get Laid)

The first problem
is that we are at Tony Roma’s.
Don’t get me wrong,
I will eat the fuck out of some ribs,
but every person in this room
looks exactly like my dad, &

The second problem
is that I have not had sex
since the first Twilight movie came out,
which means that a fictional Mormon girl
has made out with a vampire,
made out with a werewolf,
thrown herself off a cliff,
gone to Italy,
gotten married,
and had a demon baby
claw its way out of her vagina
since I last had an orgasm
with another person in the room,
and now
there are a hundred of my dad
staring at me,
slurping shrimp cocktail
and I need to say something.
“Did you know that whales
can only have sex
in groups of three?”

The third problem
is that I just said,
“Do you know that whales
can only have sex
in groups of three,”
and he says
…what…
and I say,
“YES! Because
they can’t actually swim and fuck
at the same time,
so a third whale comes along
to hold them aloft as they do it,
like a blubbery sex table!“
and this
is really where the date should end,
because,
blubbery sex table,
how do you top that?
Don’t worry,
it’s by pulling out my phone
and saying,
“Look! I’ll show you!”

The fourth problem
is that Googling “Whale Sex Groups”
will not yield the results
you were looking for.

The fifth problem
is that when I drink too much,
I start thinking about a man
I haven’t spoken to in two years.
I used to think
being in love with someone
meant being the person
they were going to grow old
at Tony Roma’s with,
but I was wrong.
Being in love
is so much easier
from across a room.
Or a small town.
Or two years of radio silence,
and I sometimes wonder
if this way of loving someone
is my best way of loving someone,
with miles and miles between us,
like how you can still find
the North Star every time–
you never wonder
if it can pick you out of a crowd,
or if it still remembers all the words
to the first Stones song
you ever danced to,
you just want to be able to see it
from far away,
knowing that if you got any closer,
odds are you’d catch on fire.

He has a wife now.
She has his last name
and a house with a fireplace
and when he comes home from work
he goes to sleep in a bed
that is Their Bed.
And three weeks after
he cut his losses,
I traded our bed in for a single
because it felt more like a choice,
like I was choosing to go to bed alone
rather than trying to fall asleep
with the entire night sky next to me,
beckoning me to fall back into it,
because I lied,
before,
when I said it was easier
to love someone from a distance.

It isn’t easier.
It is just smaller,
more convenient to fit
into a back pocket,
or a time capsule,
or that place
between the bed and the wall,
that place you’re still afraid
monsters will crawl out of,
like he left a piece of himself with you
and you are terrified
he is coming back for it;
Or he left a piece of himself with you
and you are terrified
he is not coming back for it.

The sixth problem
is that when a new man tells you
he likes you too much
already,
it doesn’t sound like a promise.
It sounds like a smoke alarm,
warning you to get out fast–
If you hurry,
you might miss the worst of it.

3

“So it’s your birthday in a few days,” Salim said casually as they ate the chicken stir-fry he’d made for them.

“It is,” Ryleigh narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “How did you know what day it is?”

“You told me the night you have way too much to drink,” he chuckled. “Got any plans?”

“Does painting, dinner of mac and cheese, and watching TV count?” she asked, eating another forkful of her chicken. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was seven, since…”

“Your parents,” Salim nodded and looked down at his plate for minute. When he looked back up again he was smiling. “We should do something, to celebrate your birthday I mean.”

“Such as?” Ryleigh raised her eyebrows.

“Hadn’t thought that far ahead,” he laughed and shrugged. “We could get out of the city for the weekend, camping maybe?”

“Kind of lost my taste for camping before coming to the city,” she pointed out. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she couldn’t help but smile. “I know what I want to do.”

“Lay it on me,” he gestured with his fork for her to continue.

“This,” she smiled brightly. “Just this. Video games, food, you. I don’t need anything else, just this. That’s all I want to do for my birthday; spend time with you.”

“Done,” Salim smiled back at her.

Pro-tip: how to stop the body-shaming

The other week when I was holding a workshop at a local LGBTQ+ youth group, I sat in during their weekly meeting about rules and regulations. There was one that was entirely new to me. And that I believe should be part of the usual way we treat one another.

New rule: don’t comment on other people’s eating habits. What they eat or don’t eat. Whether they eat a lot or a little, often, rarely, or don’t eat in your presence at all.

Also, a person can share information about their eating habits but that does not mean that you are being invited to critisize or even comment. No, not even to “give advice”.

You don’t know that person’s reason/s for their relationship with food and their own body. Because that’s the thing, our relationship with food is complicated because it’s so closely tied to our relationship with our bodies. Bodies that become closely tied to how people percieve us and thus carry our identity.

And then add to this that we are constantly being judged based on how well we “appear to try to be healthy”, because we all need to be trying our best to achieve the appearance of health, don’t we. As if health is something can be measured through appearance. (Hint: it isn’t. The appearance of a healthy - often equated with “thin” - body is a social construct the same way race and gender is.)

No, we need to be wary af of what right we take to having an opinion on other people’s eating habits. Let people share their thoughts without being judged. Let people refuse to share without being questioned. This is another harmful habit born of social structures we’d be better off without, and as usual, the work to combat it starts with combatting the habitual reactions within ourselves.

strangelypensieve  asked:

Candyfloss! :)

“You know, we normally just call that cotton candy,” Daisy remarks as she watches Jemma accept the paper cone from the bored vendor. Wisps of sugary cloud twist up like a mountain, vibrant pink and glittering. “And I can’t believe you’re going to eat that.”

Jemma pinches off a piece, looking at Daisy, offended. “What do you mean?” She lifts her eyebrows. “You don’t like this sugary monstrosity?”

“No, I do,” Daisy assures her. “But you…I mean Miss Gluten Free Biscuits.” She reaches for a bit of the cotton candy but Jemma deftly twists out of her way, holding the treat out of reach.

“None for you until you stop making fun of me,” Jemma says primly, attempting to hide a smile. “Or until you learn how to do a proper English accent.”

Daisy rolls her eyes, watching glumly as Jemma takes another bite, popping the thinly strained wisps of sugar into her mouth. Pink sugar crystals are already sparkling on her lips and Daisy’s eyes keep wandering to the sight no matter how many bright lights and noisy carnival booths they pass.

She makes an effort to distract herself by reaching for the cotton candy again, knowing full well Jemma will make an effort to side step her once more. Jemma makes a sound of protest, attempting to step out of Daisy’s reach. Daisy follows her, blocking her exit and tugging her forward and pressing her lips against Jemma’s sticky, sweet ones.

When she pulls away, Jemma is gaping at her in surprise. When Daisy licks her lips all she can taste is sugar and Jemma. “Hey, you never said I couldn’t find another way to have a taste.” 

thinsans  asked:

to the anon who said four crackers isn't a binge: i understand where they are coming from too, but i guess we all just have to understand that people's different eating disorders make them view amounts of food radically differently. it doesn't matter how much, who considered a binge. the point is that for all of us, food controls our lives in horrible ways. and i think instead of judging one another we should just have some solidarity and understanding.

^ my thoughts exactly, well said, anon. Let’s accept that we’re all different and move on from this, I’m sure the anon with BED didn’t mean any harm :)

You Suck Charlie

A/N: here’s something simple that Kat definitely didn’t request 

[Joji x cuddling x talking about the future]

“It’s late,” Joji tells you, “I should go home. You have work in the morning.”


Your boyfriend is sweet and he means well, but there’s absolutely no way you’re going to let him go home tonight. You’ve been working erratic hours lately at the catering company because two girls just quit and now the entire team is down to eight people. Not to mention, Joji has been traveling a lot, to Australia and California and back – rinse and repeat – for the last few months. You rarely see one another and being left to the occasional phone call and skype session is really beginning to eat you and leave you unsatisfied. The last thing you want to do is complain and burden Joji with your frantic thoughts so you do the only thing you feel you can; you grab his hands in a vice grip and beg him to stay for the night.


“Sleep over, then. I won’t mind. I just want to be near you.” 


And it’s true. You just want to be close to him. It seems you’re never close enough, and you don’t like the distance that’s beginning to collect between you guys, between every missed call and cancelled date and rushed goodbye. It’s driving you mad and you’re having a hard time untying the insanity knotting itself together in your mind. All you want is tonight. One night when you don’t have to overthink and worry about the future of your relationship.


“Are you sure?” He raises his eyebrows at you, biting back a smile. 


You don’t feel like doing anything sexual tonight. You want to be close in another way. You want to be comforted. “Yeah. Just to sleep. You can leave in the morning, as early as you need to, but please just stay for tonight.”


“Anything for you.”


You both make your way to your bedroom, where you change into an old, big shirt you like to think is Joji’s – but honestly, it’s just a plain tee shirt and you’ve had it for so long that it could have come from anyone you’ve dated… Though it’s not like you’d tell Joji that – and your heart wrenchingly compliant boyfriend strips down to his boxers before crawling in bed next to you and wrapping his arms protectively around your torso, lips pressed to the back of your head. You feel the body heat of his chest and stomach against your back, only separated by the thin fabric of the anonymously pre-owned tee shirt. His breath hits your hair and things seem easier for a moment. Not so calamitas. 


“I love you so much.” You say.


You hear Joji exhale a little in surprise. “I know, I love you too. Is something up? You seem… Melancholy.” He kisses you reassuringly behind your ear a few times.


You turn around in his arms so that you’re facing him, cuddling into his chest. “It’s nothing, really. I’m just paranoid.”


Joji strokes your hair and your back and your hips very chastely, wanting you to be comfortable enough to share your thoughts with him. He’s always been like this. Joji will never speak a word in question to get you to tell him something, even if it pains him. He’ll just be sweet and nice and painfully obvious about his curiosity. “Paranoid,” He sighs. 


You haven’t really told him much and it’s a little unfair. How can you guys work harder to spend time together when your boyfriend isn’t even aware that you miss him like this? “Yeah. Paranoid about us.”


Joji stops moving. “What about us?”


Oh god, now it’s awkward. Part of you starts to panic because the last thing you want is to offend him. You’re not the only one who has it hard. Joji is just as stressed, if not more so, with his jam-packed schedule and immense workload. You don’t want him to think that your paranoia rests on only his end

.
“Well, okay, not like us. We’re fine. I love you so much and I know you love me and you’re perfect and great and I’m happy with you.” You say in a rush, comforting Joji to the best of your ability and as quick as you can before his disappointment sets in.


“So this isn’t about,” he looks up for a second, avoiding eye contact, “you don’t want to…?”


“No!” You snap, snuggling closer to press a billion short, sweet, butterfly kisses on his face. “I definitely don’t want to break up. Ever. I love you so much, Joji, and I always will. No doubt.”


He lets out a long sigh. “Oh, thank god. I love you too. So much. Too much.” He plants a simple kiss on your nose. 


You know he won’t pry so you continue on before any kind of quietude grows in the space between your words. “It’s about something else. I just, I feel…”
Joji tightens his arms around you and places his chin on the crown of your head. You know he’s over-thinking before you even feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest, pressed against the skin of your cheek. 


“I never see you anymore.”


You’re not quite sure how you were expecting Joji to react but it definitely wasn’t for him to laugh at you. You freeze a little and he starts rubbing your back again. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” he chuckles for another moment, “I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you the same thing but it felt silly. Arbitrary.”


“Oh.” You say, feeling a lot of things, but mostly blatant stupidity. 


“I mean, it’s obvious we don’t see each other often,” Joji sighs and continues to rub your back, “but I just wanted you to know that it fucking sucks. I can’t stand it. On top of that, I never know when close is too close.” He kisses you a few times on the crown of your head, seemingly showing affection to apologize for laughing. “You never speak to me about this stuff. I don’t want to spend so much time apart and then smother you when I see you. I don’t know how much of me you want, I don’t know how much of me to give you.”


You throat is dry and it hurts when you try to swallow the panic. By keeping your insecurities to yourself, you unintentionally pushed Joji away and he noticed. 


“I’m sorry.” You say pathetically. “I just, I love you so much. I didn’t want to push you. I figured you’d come to me if you wanted to see me. It sounds stupid now and I’m sorry. I want all of you. All that you’re willing to give, George, because I’m all in.I have been from the beginning.”


Joji kisses you then and things change.


“We’re going to be together forever, y/n, there’s no way you can get away from me now.” He smiles at you, absolutely beaming from your words. 


“Do you really want to be?” You ask, unabashed giggling spilling out of your mouth a little because you’re high on the decadence of these moments. You weren’t sure if he meant it, but you took his words seriously.


“I meant it. We can get married if you want,” George laughs when some kind of happy, astonished sound escapes from the back of your throat, “and we’ll have kids. Lots of them.”


“What will we name them?” You ask, adorning a smile that feels brighter than the sun.


“I don’t know… I always liked Verona for a girl. Like the city? Ronnie for short. Boys names are harder, there’s too many common ones.”


You’re happyhappyhappy and it’s beating in your chest like something alive and real. “You want to be a dad?”


Joji smiles. “Maybe one day, when I’m not such an idiot.”


You kiss him. “Tell me more about our future.”


He laughs and you’re laughing and the energy in the room has changed significantly from what it was before. You’re glad for it. Joji’s ecstatic.


“I’d probably be a deadbeat stay-at-home dad. I could could teach the kiddos ukulele or piano or something. Have fun with them. You’re smart, though. You’d do something with your life, have a career. Quit that dumb food company thing,”


“Catering company.” You correct, still grinning like an idiot.


“Right, of course. Catering company. Because there’s a huge difference.”
You hit his shoulder lightly and squeal with laughter even though his words hadn’t been particularly funny. You’re just so happy. Your emotions are running wild and god damn, you love this boy to pieces. 


He smiles too and kisses you again, soft and easy. Joji breaks to continue and you can tell he’s just as into this hypothetical future and you are. “You’d be something cool. You’re into animals, right? You would probably be a veterinarian or dog show host or something, I don’t know. And we might not make that much money, and we might live in a slummy neighborhood for the rest of our lives, but you know what?”


“What?”


Joji smiles and you’ve never seen something so beautiful or heart-warming in your entire life. It’s something you want a picture of, some kind of tangible memory of it to store in your pocket and take out every once in awhile just to remind yourself that beauty like this still exists in the world, and it belongs to you. 


“We’ll have each other. We’ll be happy. We’ll do okay. I know we will.”


You wrap your arms around his neck, so overcome with emotion that tears are collecting in your eyes. “I know too.”

Love Me Like You Do

A/N: I wrote this on impulse, it wasn’t planned at all - as I form of stress relief, I guess? The topic is extremely sensitive and something that is very personal to me. PLEASE TAKE THE WARNINGS SERIOUSLY.

Pairing: You x Kai

Summary: When you don’t think you’re good enough for him.

TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorders.

He didn’t mean anything malicious by it. I knew Jongin would never deliberately say anything to make me feel bad about myself, but sometimes he just spoke without thinking.

It was just another typical afternoon in the high school cafeteria, the boys acting like kids around us as Jongin slung his arm around my shoulder, proudly telling me about how his dance teacher had praised him during their last practice session. He was eating his way through a burrito, eyes bright and expression animated as he spoke through mouthfuls of rice and refried beans whilst Baekhyun scowled at him, unimpressed.

“Stop talking with your mouth full, dude. It’s gross,” he tutted as Jongin snorted.

“Your face is gross, Byun Baek.”

Keep reading

redrosesandraindrops  asked:

Desus for the ship meme?

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

  • when I started shipping it if I did: I think Knots Untie, since in The Next World I was in too much of a Richonne high the first time I watched. (I’d actually quit watching the show then found out they hooked up, decided to catch up, and here we are)
  • my thoughts: Varies from realistic “they didn’t mean it to come off this way and it’s all a coincidence, they’d never have the guts to pair Daryl Dixon off with anyone, much less another guy, plus they’re not going to bother developing Jesus since it would eat into Negan’s monologing time” to wild conspiracies that Gimple & Kirkman at least totally planned it.
  • What makes me happy about them: EVERYTHING. The fact that Jesus has trouble bonding with people and Daryl is so loyal and loving despite everything that Jesus wouldn’t be able to help himself, the fact that Jesus is tough enough to get through Daryl’s walls.
  • What makes me sad about them: The fact that they’re too good to be true and will most likely never become canon, even as a bromance.
  • things done in fanfic that annoys me: Confession: I haven’t actually read much Desus fanfic yet because I’ve been writing my own and find I get discouraged since I’m insecure about my writing. There’s a quote from the film Midnight in Paris that goes, “If it’s bad I’ll hate it because I hate bad writing, if it’s good I’ll be jealous and hate it even more.” I’m getting over myself, but still haven’t read enough to have Desus specific annoyances. Speaking in general terms about things that bother me in any fic for any pairing: 1)Background characters existing only to be cheerleaders for the main pairing (It’s an easy thing to be guilty of, especially if you’re writing from a limited first person PoV, I have to try actively to avoid it in my own stuff, dunno how successful I am) 2)Getting really anal (ha) about who is “the top” and “the bottom”, especially if the logic is “this character is the big manly one, of course he tops because it is manly to top” or “this character is the confident one, he tops because only wimps get penetrated”. Heck, even that the terms “top” and “bottom” mean “dominant” and “submissive” respectively. So long as it’s true to the characters (in terms of Desus Daryl is shyer and inexperienced especially at first, Jesus is confident and knows what he’s doing) it’s author’s choice what position they fuck in or if they even have penetrative sex at all.
  • things I look for in fanfic: Good writing and characterization (lol vague I know)
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I can’t get *excited* for them ending up with anyone but each other; every other pairing would be a little disappointing.  However the only pairings that would make me straight up riot would be Daryl/Maggie and Jesus/a woman.
  • My happily ever after for them: Surviving for a long time, most of that time in relative peace where they get to help build their communities, kick ass together, and help each other grow as people.
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon: Paul is the jetpack.
  • what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Reading in bed together, playing card games, going out on runs and getting competitive with who can kill the most zombies.
Another incoherent Legends of Tomorrow Post

1. Jellybeans!!
2. Rip, pick up the dang spear before you start eating Jellybeans.
3. I think some flying spaceships are going to find their way into the hobbit.
4. Writers, you do know you want your fans to cheer for your heros, right?
5. Mick helped you twice!! He deserves your trust and respect!!
6. An illumination… I mean hallucination punched Mick in the face… Sure…
6.5. Oh my gosh, Lenny!!! But villainous Lenny… Not as sweet. But Lenny nonetheless!!!
7. Why is the blood of Christ right there? It’s not even locked??
8. My 2 favourite characters are now villains. Eobard’s looking to be my 3rd favourite. Time to join the villain bandwagon.
6. It’s all their fault anyway. The Legends deserve this for being dumb and not listening to reason.
This episode shall not pass.

Go villains, go!!!

“Rejection”; Chapter Three

NOTES: Once again, (Y/N) means “Your Name”. A heads-up for the future chapters, this fanfiction will have some parts where it mentions that you have “an illness”. This can be asthma, eczema, whatever. When I wrote this book for myself, I always incorporated my severe scoliosis in one way or another; so, uh, yeah. Just a warning.  ヾ| ̄ー ̄|ノ Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

His permanent smile had lost all warmth to it, and you sweat nervously. Where would I begin? As you tried to find your words, the silence seemed to be eating you from the inside out. Minutes passed by, and you hadn’t said anything useful to Sans. His “brow” furrows in slight aggravation, and he chuckled.

“if you’re not gonna talk the easy way, you are really not gonna like what happens next, bucko.” Venom was spilled with his last word, and you finally decided to say something, anything, before you were skewered. “Y-you’re right. I’m not from around here. I-” You sighed, and the whites in his eyes returned. “I know it’s hard to believe-” “at this point, i’ll believe anything.” The hair on your neck rose, and you twiddled your fingers. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I already know who everyone in the entire Underground is, was, and will ever be. Without even meeting them.”

His eye sockets widened with shock, but he remained quiet as if to say, “keep going…?” Burying your face in your hands, you planned carefully on what words to say next. When none came to mind, you just blurt out the first thing on your tongue. “I know about the resets, Sans. And I know you do too. Because I know you.”

You glanced over at the skeleton to see what he made of this, but his expression was blank. As if he’s heard all this before. However, in a way, the surprise in his facial features made its way out by the shaking of his pupils. The small action made you wonder if he were going to cry. “I know how much you hate the timeline resetting, and how you always pray to Asgore that this time Frisk will do a Pacifist run. I know what happens when Frisk decides to go through a Genocide run, and how it’s really Char-” “stop.”

You paused, and bit your lip. Sans was trembling violently now, and gripped his hands on his head. It seemed like he were on the verge of having mental breakdown, which concerned you so much that you turned to face him completely and even risked stretching out your hand towards him. He scoot away from it immediately as if it were poison, and you retracted it harshly. There you go again, (Y/N). Acting like the desperate scum you are.

His breaths were shaky, and obviously very difficult to take in. “how…?” He snapped his gaze back to you, and you saw a hint of blue streak through his left eye. “You wouldn’t understand me even if I told you. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to explain; I don’t know of a way to put this gently.” “just spill it. i can take it. i just want answers.” Sans tried to regain his composure, and slowed down the rattling of his bones.

“Are you sure? What I’m about to say might be… intense.” You sucked in a breath through your teeth, and you could see how Sans was bracing himself. He nodded confidently, and his cool attitude returned. “Alright, here goes nothing… Sans. Are you aware of what a videogame is?” He tilt his head sideways, and his grin faltered. “uh…yeah? why?” You winced, and continued.

“What if were to tell you… that everything you do and say is programmed into a video game? That your entire reality is already pre-determined and is used as an entertainment purpose for humans like me?” Silence. Sans remained still, and processed the huge piece of information given. “are..are you trying to say that our universe has several copies to it that people like you use everyday? for fun? that there are several ‘sans’ and ‘papyrus’s’ out there?”

You smiled slowly and nodded reassuringly. “Yep.” Sans stared right through your complexion and began to laugh. You laughed along too, confused that he was taking this so well. He stands up, and begins pacing back and forth in front of the TV. “tibia honest with you… i kinda already knew that too.” It was your turn to be bewildered, considering that he was warming up to you by using puns during a time like this.

“my dad… that’s the one thing i can’t remember. i don’t remember his name, or what he did for a living, but i know that he was on the verge of telling everyone about this sorta thing. at least, that’s what some people say. there were these timelines where it felt like the kid was acting odd, and new people just sprung up outta nowhere. the kid told me what those monsters said, and how they were ‘void of all color’… how they said to never speak of the man who ‘spoke in hands’.”

You knew of the man Sans was describing, and the characters that you had to hack into the game’s files in order to find out more of Undertale’s secrets. However, for some odd reason, you just couldn’t place a name on him. “I know who you’re talking about.” You point out, and rubbed the back of your head sheepishly. Sans whipped his gaze back onto you, and stood still in astonishment.

“you do? then who is he? what’s his name?” Sans demanded, taking a step closer in your direction with every question. You raised your hands up quickly, shaking them to ward the intimidating skeleton away. “I-I mean, I know him! I know how I know of him! I just can’t place a name, which is weird, because I know this whole game like the back of my hand…” You whispered that last part, and refused to look back into Sans’ deep eye sockets.

Disappointed that he couldn’t get a response more than that out of you, he shoved his hands back into his pockets and glared back down at the floor in thought. “how did you find out who he was?” Sans inquired, and raised a non-existent brow curiously. Your heart raced, and mind pondered. I can’t tell him that I was controlling Frisk! I can’t tell him how I was a user of this game; he’d hate me! He has always been the one to ask Chara if she liked using his friends like pawns in a game…

“I’m afraid some things must remain private.” You simply stated, crossing your arms boldly. Sans took a step back, surprised by your sudden courage. He scowled, and pointed a finger at you accusingly. “that’s not fair! you know everything about me, apparently, but i know nothing about you! like how i don’t know if you’re a human from ‘beyond the surface’, or how you got here! how your soul is more than one color, and how you already know about the resets! it’s like you’re a god from another world or something; a being so powerful that you know how to manipulate the timelines in order to find out every little thing about them, and how to solve every problem within them!”

Your cheeks burned slightly from him calling you a god, but you forced the feeling to go away quickly. “Life isn’t fair, Sans. You already know that. I don’t even understand most of your questions either, and that’s what I’ve been spending my whole day mulling over! Yes, I may know what will happen in every timeline, but this one is different. Never before has two humans been in the Underground at the same time. Especially not one where one of the humans has got a butt-load of issues like me.”

Sans groaned, and scratched his skull frustratingly. A idea seemed to pop into his head, and he glared at you menacingly. “knowing what has or ever will happen is a big responsibility. and with a responsibility like that, there’s gotta be a great deal of power there too. so the question is-” His pupils went dark, and the atmosphere around you went cold. “-will you use that power for good or evil?”

He stepped close to you, and a blue light began to shine from his left eye socket. You started freaking out, and stood up straight. You tried backing away from the terrifying skeleton now approaching, only to run into a wall. “I-I-I don’t know if I have any powers like the ability to reset! Frisk-” “frisk already gave me their answer; and depending on what kind of ‘run’ they were doing, it varied. so how about you?”

He raised a hand out of his pocket, and you felt your chest be put under so much pressure that it was like an elephant sitting on top. You pressed your back as far into the wall as you could, wishing you could disappear. Why couldn’t you just say that you would never use your power, whatever that may be, for evil? Because you were Chara at one point, (Y/N). You chose to make Frisk go down the Genocide path and slaughter all those innocent monsters. Like Sans. You can’t promise that you won’t go down that route again, knowing you and your emotions. How crazy they can tend to be when you’re put in the right situation.

You gripped my shirt, and pant heavily. The air was being crushed out of your lungs, and the blue embers in Sans’ eye were growing stronger and more impatient. His hand was clenching into a fist harder and harder each second, which meant he was getting ready to kill you if you didn’t give a satisfying answer. As you lost control over your own body, your legs slumped to the floor and wound up with Sans towering over you. You weakly gazed upwards to see that your soul was turned a royal blue and beating very slowly but steadily. Your head felt like lead, so you dropped it to the floor limply.

As if that were a bad move, you felt your soul get tugged upwards and slammed into the wall behind you. You were raised up to eye contact level with the short skeleton, and his eye was completely flashing now. He had his hand raised, where his telekinesis was keeping your soul in place. “kid, i’m gonna need an answer soon. papyrus will be home any minute, and i can’t risk a possible threat living in the same home with my bro.”

He doesn’t even care about his own safety, just Papyrus’s. You would find that admirable, except for the fact that you might be killed any second now; from either suffocation or impalement by bone. Making up your mind, you choked out a soft response. “what?” Sans grasped the front of your shirt, and brought his face so close that you could feel his breath on your face. “i couldn’t hear you. then again, i don’t have ears.”

You wanted to laugh at his pun, but now wasn’t the time. Obeying his command, you repeat yourself anyways. “I said that I would never use my power for evil.” Sans smirked, but didn’t back off. “and?” You winced, and gasped for a breath. “And what?” He snickered, and winked. “and that you’ll never treat papyrus poorly?” You rolled your eyes to the best of your ability. “Of course, your majesty.” You scoffed sarcastically, and he let you go. Thumping to the ground, you wheezed like an old rubber toy. You clutched your chest, not caring that your soul was back to its normal array of colors. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and his pupils returned to their normal appearance.

“good. because if you do, i will not hesitate to show you my full capabilities.” He shrugged playfully, but you could tell he was not joking. “oh, and by the way-” he strolled over to the couch, and plopped back down causally, “don’t be afraid to call me that from now on. ‘kay, sweetheart?” He called mockingly, and you grumbled a “pfft, yeah right” under your breath whilst your cheeks lit up brightly once more.

coffeescatsandotps  asked:

What's your opinion on those posts that say say like.. "don't assume because a fat person is at the gym they want to lose weight maybe they just enjoy exercise". In my opinion I've never known a fellow fat person who goes to the gym because they enjoy to do anything remotely called exercise and if you're always at the gym but you're not losing weight then you must be eating soooo much! Idk I think it's just another way to denial away the fact that being morbidly obese is bad for you.

Yeah I agree with you. I’ve never known a fat to participate in exercise without that goal. Now I’m sure some people like that do exist I mean I know a handful of runners that are overweight (not obese) and that is just because of their bad diet. Idk. It just seems not very efficient. Being fat or obese already takes a toll on your body and joints and to add exercise on top of that without losing any weight just sounds like it would be really painful over time. Of course, if this is the case, do whatever you want. Some exercise is better than no exercise. But maybe the people that say not to assume this should just let those fat people speak for themselves on the topic

i cried for hours. i cried til my head starts to hurt. and now i feel like i’m feverish, but i know it’s just the sadness. i’m listening to some detroit house music mix and i’m totally detached from reality. i need to stay like this. actually i’d love to have some xanax or lexotan or lorazepam or something that ends in -am but uhm i’m aware that it is not a good idea. also a coffee could be great but i’m too lazy to do it. i just want to.. sleep eat and die, that is just another way to say that i want to live a very good life and do something that makes me happy, you know. ‘die’ means nothing, it’s a totally irrelevant word when it comes from my mouth

Trigger warnings for talk of fathers, abuse and other things. Nothing too graphic.


Feel honestly shocking.
My father, my main abuser, is having another baby in the Czech Republic. I already deep down have the guilt eating me alive because when I came out with the abuse that happened to me, the Czech police didn’t believe the British Police, so he got away with it until he willingly comes to the UK. This means that my younger brother, Maxsim, is still in danger and that eats me alive everyday sometimes. That I didn’t try to save him from the possible life he has right now.
Now with another one on the way that means that there is a second child, that is being born in a week, that is in danger. And it’s my fault for not opening it up earlier and not wanting to follow proceedings at the start…
(-Tay, Adam is confronting and writing the rest)
with him being recently brought up and my brother going over there to just visit the baby and no one else, my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and slight paranoia has been playing up badly. I’ve been joking with people to distract me from it all but honestly I’m overwhelmed with emotions that I don’t want to feel.
I feel like I could break at any moment.
Especially since I (Adam co fronting with Tay) took most of the abuse between 5-8 and then again at age 12 I know how horrible it is and that was reflected in the inner world as well.
I don’t want that and I don’t want our brother who is visiting turnt against us.
I didn’t need this stress but we got it.
- Adam and Tay
Might take this down later just needed to post it somewhere. Somewhere where I can get my feelings out and then delete it. Show it too people who need to know but I can’t explain my feelings too as well.

@hannibalssweaters said: YES–do as much of what you love that you can in your spare time, even if it’s not much at all, just make it your side hustle–chip away at it, work at it, even if (when) it sometimes eats into your sleep/chill time (but do try to balance it so you can have down time, of course). Hard work DOES pay off!! Do what you love whenever you can & it will pay off in one way or another!

ahhhhh thank you so so much, i really needed to hear this (well, read, ya know what i mean. this means the world to me, thank you girl xx