i me mine

Just a bunch of random information for people in the Kingsman fandom

I just got Kingsman and have since watched it fifty million times (I am complete Hartwin trash now), and after reading a lot of fanfic and such, i just thought, seeing as i have an unfortunate habit of following world royalty, especially the British royal family, and i’ve learned a lot about the British upper crust, and just British society in general, i’d make this.  And I did some figuring of dates and ages and stuff.  Plus, some theories that i have, that are connected to all this.  So, just some info you might find useful:

  • Timeline
  • To start with, the timeline of the movie seems a bit difficult to determine, but Valentine specifically mentions he is attending Royal Ascot the day he’s in the shop, with V-Day being a day or two after.  Royal Ascot (the horse races held annually at Windsor Castle, hosted by the Queen) is held about mid-June, for five days.  So, V-Day happened mid-June.  (Here’s a link if you want to read about the dress code at Ascot, it’s quite interesting and gives a primer on English morning dress.  Harry is not wrong, you will need a hat.  You will not be allowed in important areas without a hat, and they DO enforce the dress code.  And fuck it, everyone wears a hat to Ascot.)
  • We can probably assume that Eggsy’s training took 6-9 months, typical of military traning, judging by how much the sister aged (can anyone figure out if she is actually Daisy?) and the aging of the dogs, who look mostly grown but still not adults.  Before they jack the car, one of Eggsy’s friends mentions it’s cold but they’re not dressed very heavily, so it makes sense that it would have been in the autumn when he started.  And hey, you don’t learn to be a ninja gentleman spy in a month.
  • Royalty
  • When Valentine is checking off the names in his book, it is implied that most of the major British royals were given the head implants.  (One of the names is the “Prince Royal”, which is not an actual title.  Presumably it is a miswrite of The Princess Royal, or Princess Anne.)  Judging by the names, and banking on them having the head implants, Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, currently sixth in line for the throne (or fifth if you take the movie for 2014), would have risen to become King Andrew I after V-Day blew the rest of their heads.
  • There were other names of other European royals on the other side of the page, but I could not see properly, aside from titles, which seemed to keep to kings/queens and the heir and their spouse.  Assume there would be a King Andrew and lots of Queens under 12 with Regents.
  • Crown Princess Tilde is presumably Swedish, might have become queen, and is not an actual person.  There is a current Crown Princess of Sweden, CP Victoria.  But, she won’t probably be having sex with anyone but her husband.  She is awesome, and probably could have kicked Gazelle’s ass on her own.
  • DO NOT think watching “The Royals” on E is good way to understand the royal family.  It seems to better represent the younger aristocracy.
  • The History of Kingsman
  • From the discussions between Harry and Arthur, and Harry’s history on the elevator down to the tube thing, and the douchey guy candidates, we can assume Kingsman was founded by aristocrats and consists solely of aristocrats.  (Being an aristocrat - often called “Aristos” - does not necessarily mean having a title, but has something more important - old money, and belongs to a certain social circle.)
  • Harry mentions “no heirs and a lot of money going uninherited” after WWI, so it seems that Kingsman was formed from a pooling of resources - money, property, connections - by some fidgety old men in the 1920′s.  That makes Kingsman about 100 years old (the spy bit), which in British terms, isn’t very old at all.
  • Things like titles, estates, and the majority of the wealth tend to be inherited by the oldest son, so most Kingman agents are probably younger sons who can be “spared” as it were.  It seems they’d mostly be bachelors, but with siblings and nieces and nephews.  Most candidates are probably nephews (or nieces, but all arrows point to Roxy being the first Kingswoman), or are the children of Aristo friends.  The “old boys” network is a strong one.  Most probably had their candidates scoped out, and that’s why they could have everyone there in about 24 hours.
  • Judging from the name “Kingsman”, and the fact that the old Arthur’s name is Chester King, I suspect the King family might have founded the tailor shop and later the spy organization.  Pure speculation, but as they have no apparent connection to royalty (and were founded in the reign of Queen Victoria - the shop), that might have some weight.  But, literally half of everything has the prefix “Royal” or “The King’s/Queen’s” over there, so who knows.
  • The Tailor’s
  • The tailor shop dates from 1849, so says Harry.  And is still active (probably a good source of revenue - good bespoke suits ain’t cheap).  Harry also says the tailors outfitted the most important men in the world, so maybe they made their name by selling bulletproof/resistant suits.  And they still seem fairly active in the suit departmant, so your presidents and prime ministers might be wearing Kingsman.
  • Kingsman seems to specialize in traditional English dress.  That means you can purchase lounge suits, morning suits, and dinner suits (tuxes with white & black tie), among the other accessories, like ties, ect.  It seems as thought they might supply other haberdashery accessories and shoes, as well as riding and hunting attire (tweed jackets and trousers, possibly boots), and possibly more casual items (cardigans/jumpers, pajamas, robes, ect), and of course their fancy jumpsuits.  To get a hat, you will need to go to a milliner (hat maker), but of course they have their officially sanctioned supplier.  They might also make kilts, or have another supplier.
  • For the lounge suits (or business suits if you must), Kingsman only seems to make English cut (of course).  Which means two slits (or vents) at the back of the jacket, longer jacket that cover the butt, no/minimal shoulder padding, slender lapels, and tapered sides.  English cut is very sharp, and looks fabulous, gives a youthful and thin look.  But, it MUST be tailored to look right (but, that shouldn’t be an issue).
  • Please DO NOT write something where Harry wears a tux while Eggsy’s with him in a suit and Harry didn’t specify black or white tie.  Just no.  (Though the confusion might be fun.  Just make sure Harry specifies dress code.  He is a gentleman, after all.  Like he says “black tie” and Eggsy wears a black tie, not bow tie and tux.)  There are different levels of dress (white tie, black tie, formal, semi-formal, smart casual, business casual, casual, plus different outfits for different outdoor activities like riding, hunting, golfing,ect) and Harry would NEVER not tell Eggsy what dress code is expected.  Realize, informal dressing means formal in modern dressing sense.  There’s loads you can find on it.
  • Kingsman seems rather English for the most part, but i feel it’s safe to assume that there is a decent Scottish connection.  I can’t get a good enough look at it, but I believe that Kingsman might have a tartan pattern, or several.  I can’t see them lowering themselves to plain old Watch or Stuart Hunting.  I’d need a better look at the jumpsuits and the pillows on the plane to search the registry to see if their patterns match.  (Tartan, if you don’t know, comes in many patterns that belong to specific Scottish families or organizations.  And don’t call it plaid.  I will hunt you down and shoot you.)
  • British Aristos
  • Aristos are basically the old money.  The basic tiers are: royalty, titled gentry, untitled gentry, middle class, lower class.  The gentry, or Aristos, have their own levels and social complexities.  The royals are undisputedly on top, but there are plenty of Aristos who look down on them because they are not “properly English” (the BRF is mostly German by blood), but they won’t turn down an invitation to tea.  The classes are tricky, and no one knows all the ins and outs.
  • Aristos are not necessarily the snobs you might think they are.  They aren’t exceptionally rude, but the UK has a very ironclad class system.  They aren’t frond of people trying to pull themselves up through the ranks, but they won’t outcast you if you are nice and adopt their ways.  But it is usually easier for a woman “marrying up” than a man moving up by himself.  Eggsy’s welcome was not so warm because he makes no attempt to cover up his background.  He gets very defensive, and sort of overdoes it.  You will never have people who won’t look down their noses at you, but eventually he’ll probably gain their respect.  The mature ones.  There are always the airheads.
  • Newer additions to the aristocratic classes are the bigger snobs!  Inheriting money from a nouveau riche daddy will make you very insecure.  These people work very had to be accepted, so they are the first to denounce.  Older families are secure in their societal position, so they aren’t as threatened by up-and-comers.  Plus, hey, possibly new investment opportunities!
  • Those of the upper crust tend to have two homes.  A townhouse or apartment in London, and a country estate.  (Kingsman HQ was probably left to their use after someone died without heir.  Or it is possibly the King family estate.)  Depending on when these homes were built/remodeled, most are Victorian/Edwardian.  WWI and II was horrific for the UK, and in many ways the Aristos are stuck in Edwardian times, socially and environmentally.
  • If you think that the British aristocracy and upper crust are tightly buttoned and prudish about sex, you are very wrong.  Aristocrats are filthy. It is not unheard of for the groom’s grandfather to grope the bridesmaids in greeting.  Or the bride.  And they would be fine with it.  The only thing most of these people have to do is gossip and have sex.  Affairs are/were quite common, and no one holds back when discussing sex.  People get married, divorced, remarried, all the time. They are filthy, crass, creative, bored, and have more money than they know what to do with.  You will not find many prudes among the upper crust.  It’s a way of shocking the middle class.
  • Being an Aristo does not mean you have money.  Many are very asset rich, but cash poor.  They sell off their jewels (*sobbing*) and estates to get money, or they leach off the better to do ones.  The illusion of money often means they get a lot for free.  Funnily enough, the newer members of the aristocracy are the ones with more money, usually.  Many rich kids only inherit debt.
  • Common pursuits of the Aristos are riding, hunting, polo, horse racing, golf, and drinking excessive amounts of tea and old liquor.  Younger ones like clubbing, getting drunk, inhaling drugs, and pissing of their parents (and polo and hunting).  Horses and tea alcohol, basically.
  • British Public School lads, or toffs or Hooray Henrys, or so many other names, are what most of the candidates seem to be.  British public schools are the equivalent of American private schools, while state schools are the equivalent of American public schools.  Most Public schools are boarding schools, where they attend with friends who are the children of their parents’ friends.  They can be rather dumb and priggish, fair warning.  Each school has its own culture.  Public schools are almost always gender exclusive, though a sister school is often nearby, and they’ll get together for sports days (officially) and parties and drinking and sex (unofficially).  After school there is a gap year (only for rich toffs, not the plebs) where they do “charity work” in South America or Africa, or “study” somewhere on the Continent.  University is the first time they’re co-ed, and things get very incestuous in the social circles, before they settle down.  Degrees are often art degrees, and sometimes they will go to a military officer’s school after.  They will have been with the same group since very small children, which adds to the closed-off social circle.  Female equivalents of Hooray Henrys are often called “Sloane Rangers”.  They all - males and females - dress like they’re all about to go clubbing or go hunting, so do not copy their clothing.  Please.
  • The Tatler is the society magazine the younger ones follow.  It catalogs the parties, the fashions they follow, gossip, and other such junk.
  • Kingsman does not seem to have etiquette lessons.  Harry seems to be the only one to be teaching Eggsy those things.  But, as it seems that the regular candidate is an Aristo, they would already know etiquette, and plenty of other things.  Harry was probably the only one who thought “hey, this kid doesn’t know this stuff” while it’s assumed the others would already know.
  • Harry’s Background
  • Harry is probably an aristocrat.  He probably does not have a title, but as Hart is a very old English surname, his family has probably been where it has for generations.  As i have said, older Aristos are more accepting of newcomers.  So, my conclusion is Harry is from a very old, very well established family.
  • From that speculation, and the speculation that the King family is relatively new to the aristocratic scene, the arguments between Arthur and Harry make a lot more sense.  Newer families are threatened by new blood, remember, and older families are more accepting.  I’m all for Harry being an oddity and an exception, but sadly, that doesn’t often happen.  He might be on the extreme side of welcoming, but I am sure there is a background of it.
  • Based on the youth that most Aristos have, Harry probably spent his first few years in the country (possibly with a nanny).  His parents probably flitted between London and the country.  He would have learned very young how to shoot and ride a horse (at the same time).  He probably went to boarding school, around age 7-8.  First a primary boarding school, then one for secondary school (12 & up).  British schooling is different from US, so check it out.  Gap years are more common nowadays, so maybe or maybe not. University at one of the good schools (you know, Oxford, Cambridge, ect.  The toffs list them.), maybe a military officer’s school.  It is also possible that Kingsman pulls kids out of university for their training, so we don’t know if Harry finished university.
  • The Sun cover that Eggsy points to that was the cover after Harry’s first mission was the cover the Sunday after Charles and Diana were married, 29 July 1981.  So, Harry was a Kingsman agent for just under 33 years,  (if you take the film to be set in 2014), and was active for sixteen years before Eggsy’s dad was killed, and was a Kingsman for ten years before Eggsy was born.  That puts him probably in his early/mid 50′s, if he joined in his late teens/early 20′s.  But he’s not dead.  Shut up.
  • Harry probably has a family crest somewhere (don’t Google for one, they are difficult to verify).  Only trust The College of Arms for those sorts of things.  There’s an official index somewhere, but I can’t find it.
  • We know bae does not judge, but he probably has most of the trappings, including a country home.  Am I suggesting Harry might have a country estate where he is waiting for his head wound to heal while pining for Eggsy?  Not at all.  (Yes i am.)
  • Other Shit
  • The role of a valet (pronounced “val-et”, not “val-ay”) is an important one for a well-dressed gentleman.  A valet’s job is to look after the gentleman’s wardrobe, to iron clothes, clean things, run baths, shine shoes, set out the garments, help them dress, basically take care of them, and usually accompany them everywhere.  A valet often sees their boss in more intimate situations than the wife, and it was not uncommon for a … relationship to develop.  Gay valets were actually preferred (as they would not run off and get married), and it was not uncommon they would be from less than stellar origins.  So Harry calling Eggsy his his new valet made me raise my eyebrows.  Make of it what you will.   (Dirty, please.)
  • The Royal Marines are elite of the British military.  Training is 32 weeks (64 for officers) and one of the most rigorous in the world.  These sorts of training are designed to weed out the weak, so the fact that Eggsy got halfway through training and only pulled out because of his mother shows major balls.
  • Valentine’s bunker is in Siberia (plug 66°58'30.3"N 61°43'04.8"E into Google maps), but there are no mountains at those coordinates.  And no snow in the summer.  (Siberia is an okay place.  IN THE SUMMER.)
  • I probably forgot many things.
Ringo’s story was funny, you know. We were talking about school once and he said that he had been in hospital so much, that when he went back to school he had to get a note, an official note, to say he had left and come back from hospital and the school said to him: “you never went to this school” and he said: “yes, I did. I’ve just been in hospital a lot”. Then, he said, a couple of years later, they were saying, proudly, “This was Ringo’s desk. The great man sat here”. Madness. There was always plenty of that.
—  George Harrison [From his book I, Me, Mine published in 1980]
The strange thing about change is that people are always saying ‘oh he’s changed’ as if change is a sin, but the whole of life is a change: from the morning to the evening; from spring to winter - everything is a change - from birth to death; life is change. So it’s funny how people won’t accept change: preferring almost to re-arrange nature itself. Would they rather everything were stuck in one place forever?
—  George Harrison on the inspiration for The Light That Has Lighted The World, I Me Mine
let it be... explained
  • two of us:heartbreakingly gay
  • dig a pony:still gay
  • across the universe:john knows a lot of words
  • i me mine:😒💸
  • dig it:but what is like a rolling stone and a rolling stone and a rolling stone and the fbi and the cia and the bbc and b b king and
  • let it be:a nicer way of saying shut up and mind your own business
  • maggie mae:not the one by rod stewart
  • i've got a feeling:me too guys
  • one after 909:one before 911
  • the long and winding road:i guess it's in the country
  • for you blue:ain't he sweet, i see him walking down the street, i ask you very confidentially, ain't george sweet
  • get back:paul bullies yoko, john harmoniezes