i may or may not steal it

4

I was gonna cheat on this day and just reblog something I made befo re but then this happened and now it cannot be undone i’m sorry

[PART 1]

Marichat May (Something Sweet) II

i may or may not do more but who knows, but have this. i tried syncing a few scenes with some audio but hey whatever this is here 


(dont steal please i forgot to watermark it woops-)


EDIT : I MADE A NEW ONE GO CHECK IT OUT (x)

Papi-Chulo-Bucky Masterlist!

SERIES:

Let’s Pretend (NSFW) - Tony finds a website of two shape shifting mutant pornstars who make their living impersonating the Avengers on their website and decides to show the team. - FINISHED

Delta (NSFW) [A/B/O] Reader is a rare being in the a/b/o cycle and finds herself along side the Avengers. She manages to hide her true nature successfully until she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed super soldier. -FINISHED

Panic Cord - Reader is a blind person living in New York, when one day she’s saved by a mysterious man with a metal arm who shows her that seeing isn’t always believing.*This story is currently on hiatus until further notice*

All American Asphyxiation (NSFW) - Reader convinces Bucky into a Dom/Sub relationship in order to help each other form stability in their lives. - FINISHED

Haunting Me (NSFW) - Reader is a normal young adult living in New York, but little does she know that she’s a reincarnation of the long lost Bucky Barnes’ fiance from the 1940′s. What happens when she runs into Steve in 2012? Most importantly, what happens when she runs into The Winter Soldier? (Bucky x POC Reader)

Siniy Reader is an Avenger, but unlike them, she’s not a demi god, millionaire, super soldier, or a science experiment. She’s got a whole other dilemma: she’s not of this world. Things happen, and she finds herself on the run with Team Cap in Bucharest, along with catching the eye of Bucky Barnes. *This story is currently on hiatus until further notice*

ONE SHOTS:

Nicknames (NSFW) -  Reader tells the team of her cute little nickname for a certain super soldier.

Demonstrate (NSFW) Part 1|Part 2 -  Reader is a newbie pornstar, about to take on her first gig at Stark Industries. When she learns she’s working with porn legend Bucky Barnes, she’s in for a wild ride.

It’ll Last Longer (NSFW) -  After being gifted a Polaroid camera, Bucky becomes infatuated with taking pictures. Reader finds out that Bucky likes to take pictures of her, leading them to discovering Bucky’s camera kink.

Pursuit of Happiness - After witnessing your boyfriend Bucky’s struggle with anxiety, you take it upon yourself to help him by any means necessary.

Dazed and Confused - Reader suffers a traumatic event that leads to her having insomnia. Tony offers her a certain “herbal solution” which leads to a very unexpected result. 

Reminisce - Bucky and his son reminisce about your relationship, which leads your son to revealing a big secret to his father. 

Bad Things (NSFW) - For her twenty first birthday, Reader’s friends take her to a male strip club in hopes of giving her a good time. When the most famous dancer there, The Winter Soldier offers her a private dance, things get heated.

Daddy’s Girl (NSFW) - Reader brings Bucky back home to her hometown for Christmas to take the next big step in their relationship: meeting your family. After arriving early, you decide to have some fun with your boyfriend. What happens when you guys realize you’re not the only ones home?  

Or Nah (NSFW) Reader and Bucky are doing their routine workout before an extremely important mission, which doesn’t go as planned when Bucky shows her his own little playlist he made.

Crowd Pleaser  - At one of Tony’s fabulous parties, you get drunk as a skunk and decide to twerk on Bucky Barnes after being persuaded by the team.

Promiscuous Boy - Reader and Bucky share a very heated dance after consuming way too many drinks at Tony’s party, which leads to a very surprising ending.

I Miss You  (NSFW) - After weeks of being apart from your boyfriend, Bucky, the distance become a bit too much for you to handle.

Toxic (NSFW) - After growing tied of you an Bucky’s reluctance to ask each other out, Nat takes measures into her own hands. (Reader x Bucky x Natasha)

Shiver (NSFW) - After a mission goes bad, Reader and Bucky are forced to take shelter during a snowy night. What happens when you show symptoms of hypothermia?

REQUESTS:

Beggin’ For Thread (NSFW) - Reader steals some of Bucky’s boxers during laundry day. But when he goes to her for comfort from a thunderstorm, he gets a pleasant surprise.

Beware (NSFW) - Reader is a failed test subject of the Winter Soldier project. After Alexander Pierce orders him to be given to Asset One, Reader is forced to share a cell with the Winter Soldier himself. (Male Reader x Bucky Barnes)

And I Drove You Crazy (NSFW) - Reader’s bike needs to be repaired asap, leading her to come across an insanely gorgeous mechanic whom she may or may not want to bang the second she lays eyes on him.

Sweet Like Candy (NSFW) - After planning an entire day to spend with you (and confess his feelings towards you) Bucky’s plans are disrupted when Sam steals all of his clothes.

Fire (NSFW) - Reader and Bucky Barnes just don't get along at all. She thinks hes too brooding and a total try hard, and he thinks shes a pampered bitch. After one heated fight on the quinjet that ends up going way too far.

Cherry Bomb  (NSFW) - Reader takes Bucky out for milkshakes, which leads to some very naughtiness when she shows him she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue. 

Body Language (NSFW) - Reader and Bucky have been in a relationship for a while, and she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level. But Reader has a small problem: she’s deaf.

SERIES:

Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (NSFW)- Reader signs up for an online app similar to Omegle, but little does she know that she’s talking to the one and only Sebastian Stan.

REQUESTS:

Double Tap (NSFW) - After a disappointing night out, Sebastian and Reader have some naughty fun with Instagram Live. 

SERIES:

Holy Ghost (NSFW) - Reader is a wallflower working as a waitress in Los Angeles to pay her tuition. One night, after a heavy flirting session, a mysterious man known as Clay Apuzzo, leaves her a gracious tip, along with his phone number and a note offering her to be his sugar baby.

ONE SHOTS:

The Climb Clay finds the hope he desperately needed right before he nearly loses everything he’s ever wanted.


Writing Prompts/Drabbles

How They Fuck

A little bit of something I’m working on to prove I’m not dead yet (job hunting dreariness mixed with stressful periods of freelance work has done terrible things to my arting enthusiasm lately, but I think I’m finally digging myself out of it!), now to spend the next week cursing myself for thinking I could take on a painting with so many bloody rocks.

The Foxes and College Yearbook Quotes:
  • Andrew Minyard: “Fuck Stickball and fuck Josten”
    • Just to piss Kevin off. Poor Day’s brain fried for a second and he went “Wait, are you changing sport?! What the fuck, Andrew! What is this stickball?! What did they promise you?!” Wymack had to be the one to tell him. 
    • Neil smiled at the quote as if he was looking at a little fluffy kitten; he got his percentage raised for that.
  • Kevin Day: “Be the Queen on your chessboard. Kings never get too far.”
    • The poor kid spent weeks polishing his quote and now Foxes spend most of their times after reading it fake-bowing in front of him.
    • Jean sends him a picture when Renee shows it to him; it’s just his own face with an arched eyebrow. Kevin answers “Fuck you”, but he smiles seeing Jeremy making faces in the background.
  • Neil Josten: “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets abandoned or forgotten - Lilo and Her Weird Alien Dog” 
    • The upperclassmen cried.
    • It took them a week to realize Neil honestly thought the name of the movie was “Lilo and Her Weird Alien Dog” because that’s what Andrew told him.
  • Aaron Minyard: “Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says -I think I’ll have an H2O.- The second one says -I think I’ll have an H2O too- and he died.”
    • he actually wanted to write “Fuck you, Andrew” but Katelyn glared at him until he changed it. 
    • Andrew gets it, but refuses to laugh on principle.
  • Nicky Hemmick: “I’m GGG: Getting Gayer and German”.
    • He employed Erik’s help, but the man is a sap and only offered romantic/sentimental quotes, so he had to find something on his own. 
    • He fought the whole editorial department to have his quote in rainbow colors and he won.
  • Danielle Wilds: “I wear steel-ettos to better kick you in the balls.”
    • It may or may not be a reference to a certain Raven and a certain banquets and she may or may not take a picture of the quote “@” him on twitter.
    • Allison, Matt and Nicky all high five her when they read it.
  • Allison Reynolds: “Pretty hurts, steals your money and burns your house.”
    • She fucking loves the Wonder Woman movie, so her other option was “Men are unnecessary for pleasure.
    • But after Raven fans trashed her cars she wanted to make a statement, that she could hit back thrice as hard. 
  • Matt Boyd: “Danielle Wilds, would you make me the honor of taking me as your Proud Trophy Husband?”
    • Yup. He honest to God asked her like that. They had actually talked about it already, stuff like “What if I asked you to get married?”, “Now?!”, “No! More dramatically and stuff, but yeah… Would you say yes?”, “Make it more dramatic than Aaron and Katelyn and we have a deal.”
    • He brought Dan the yearbook and then knelt when she was distracted reading so when she lifted her eyes there he was, with a ring and blushing to the roots of his hair. Nicky filmed everything.
  • Renee Walker: “To be kind and to be helpless are two different matters.”
    • Nicky finds it adorable, while Neil and Andrew read it for the threat it is and their smiles are creepy and dark for a moment there. Allison looks proud.
    • Jean retweets the picture of the quote and adds “@Alvarez, this is why you don’t fight her”. It’s the first tweet ever in which he “@”s someone and the Trojans are so proud they collectively send Renee flowers.
3

your regular reminder: Chalo and Priya are absolutely stunning.

Roleplaying A God...

MEETING A GOD

When player characters meet a deity, they’re meeting a being with senses that extend for miles. 

A deity merely has to think of or desire something to have it. 

Its awareness of its portfolio covers vast areas, and its control of the building blocks of matter, energy, and life makes it the master of most situations, particularly on the Material Plane. 

The awesome presence of a deity cows most mortals, and may drive them from the deity in fear. 

Gods seek out mortals who do great deeds that favor the gods, as well as those who threaten their power, primacy, or existence. 

Even when a god graces a mortal or a group of mortals with its physical presence, that god’s attention is effortlessly in several places at once. 

Mortals who reach the home of a deity irritate that power with their interruption. 

They can expect a much cooler (or hotter, depending on the deity and the plane) reception. 

As the Dungeon Master, you manipulate the experience of meeting a god to suit your campaign. 

You can frighten the player characters or welcome them, depending on how you want the characters to feel about their deities, and how much you want the characters to interact with them. 

Depending on what kind of pantheon you have, you may be able to draw inspiration from elsewhere.

Keep reading

8

get to know me: [3/5] favorite movies ⇢ red eye (2005)

Pretty clever thinking, given the circumstances. Let me guess, stress management courses? Well, they’re really paying off! When we get outta this, I may have to steal you.

Planetary (Go!) (Vocals + Bass)
My Chemical Romance

Planetary (Go!), with just Gerard’s vocals and Mikey’s bass.

I do not own any of this.

All rights reserved to owner(s).

oh and i forgot to mention that this was my edit lol soz so no stealing :)

Warning: This audio may contain and/or may occur eargasm to certain people.

(updated the caption a bit bc i know i’m lame)

anonymous asked:

I have a character who is a thief, and for squeezing-in reasons she can't have anything but leather armor. So, what weapon would she carry around in case she gets caught by any full-armor-wearing enemy? I was thinking a Misericord? Thank you!!! *hug*

I feel like we’ve covered this before. A dagger isn’t going to do much when you’re fighting against an armed and armored guard. For that matter, neither is the leather.

If your character’s going to be going up against guards who are armed with sidearms (maces, swords, whatever), going after them with a dagger in a straight up fight is suicide. A knife fighter needs to get much closer to the target than a swordsman. This means they need to get past the sword. Against any competent, or even semi-competent combatant, trying to rush past the sword will end with your character impaled.

The obvious solution to carry a sword of your own, isn’t necessarily an option either, because 99% of the time, it’s just going to get in your character’s way. It will hit things, get snagged, make noise, and this will draw the attention of those same guards your character is trying to avoid.

If they wanted to make good on killing people with the dagger, then their best bet would be coming in from behind, when the guard doesn’t see them, and slitting their throat. However, this will cause other problems.

Your character is a thief, they’re already a part of the underworld that can easily draw the ire of the people who run their world simply by stealing something too prominent or important. This is a classic genre hook for a reason.

If you have a thief slipping off with a few gems or baubles and getting out undetected, that’s just a thing that happens. It could have been the servants, it could have been a mistake, or it could be any number of other possible scenarios.

However, if you have a thief slipping into homes and killing people, that will make the setting’s elites feel unsafe, which will lead to them pushing the city guard to crack down on the underworld. At that point, your character will put her allies in danger. Remember that old cliche? “No honor among thieves.” When the city guard is kicking down doors, and kneecapping fences, it’s not going to take long for someone to offer up your character’s name, if only because they hope it will let them walk out of their cell with one or two functioning limbs.

It’s worth remembering, if anyone in the setting’s underworld, knows she’s the one who started this, they will hold her directly responsible for bringing the guard knocking through their door, and ruining their livelihood.

As I mentioned earlier, a classic genre hook is a thief accidentally stealing something ridiculously valuable. It may be an ornate artifact with ties to some eldritch power, it may be documents that implicate their victim in some conspiracy, it may simply be a piece of absurdly valuable jewelry. In any of those cases, it can result in a similar crackdown, no dead bodies necessary.

Any competent thief is going to know they should avoid drawing too much attention to themselves. They can still get into messes like this unintentionally, but if a guard spots them, it is far safer for them to run, and escape, rather than stand and fight.

If your character was an assassin, then, yes. I’d say taking a few daggers, a garrote, and maybe a few other fun little party favors is a good idea. The basic thought with fighting guards would be the same, take them out without giving them any opportunity to fight back, or avoid them entirely. That said, assassins are an entirely different animal, they don’t rely on persistent contact with the setting’s underworld the same way thieves do. They just need to get paid, they don’t need to fence what they’ve stolen, or keep appraised of what the City Watch is doing, or stay coordinated enough to avoid tripping over each other on jobs. An assassin just needs a client (who isn’t necessarily part of the underworld) and tools (which they may be buying through legitimate channels and modifying on their own). They may still bring heat down on the underworld, and make life miserable for the city’s thieves, but they’re much more insulated from that world than your character would be.

I mentioned earlier that leather armor might not be a good choice for your character. It won’t do much to protect your character from a guard, but that’s not the real problem. The big issue is that it will announce that your character isn’t just part of the background. Under the best circumstances, a thief needs to be able to blend into the crowd and disappear. If they’ve got a cloak, a dagger hidden away, and a few deep pockets, that’s going to be much harder to spot in a crowd than someone wearing armor.

Beyond that, if your character is climbing or squeezing into places, the leather will just be more weight to move around, and more bulk to pull through tight spaces. Granted, it’s not a lot of weight or bulk, but if her goal is to remain undetected, then it’s not doing her any favors.

Carrying a dagger is a good idea, but not to use as a weapon. Knives are very useful utility items, and that’s no different for your character. It can be used as a weapon, but it’s something your character would probably want to avoid unless they were desperate.

So, stab them in the neck and run like hell, I guess. Or, you know, don’t bring a knife to a swordfight.

-Starke

On the subject of writing about thieves, or a criminal underworld, in a fantasy setting, the first thing that comes to mind are the Fafhrd and Gray Mouser stories by Fritz Leiber. If you’ve never heard those names before, they’re really worth taking a look at.

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you.

all the president’s rubies (victuuri)

i believe it was @katsukiyuuristrophyhusband​ who was saying that of all the theories in victor “my husband” nikiforov, they would probably roleplay at least the first three.  so i thought about it when i went on a run, and here we are:



The man he sees across the room fits in too perfectly; lean body in a royal blue Isaia suit that’s tailored to aching perfection, the inseam of the trouser cut short to reveal a scandalous sliver of bare ankle, and a white band collar shirt instead of a traditional button down to accentuate his long neck.  The man is quintessential classics with the precise amount of unorthodox edge to suggest he is a man who is always on the precipice of something.

He watches the man run his fingers through his silver hair like lavish strands of spiders’ silk.  The man screams expensive.  How many millions of dollars would you be holding in your hands if you had this man underneath you?

He must be brave.  There’s no time to waste.  He steps across the ballroom and into the man’s social circle with his chest out like he belongs there.

“Katsuji Yuuta,” he introduces himself.  “May I buy you a drink?”

“Vitaly Nikonov,” the man replies, smiling. “And I already have a drink.  But you may keep me company.”


“What are they doing?” Yuri whispers a little too loud, watching Katsuki slink over to where Victor is talking to a handful of sponsors.  

“Maybe this is like that banquet where they pretended they were meeting again for the first time,” Otabek offers, stealing a stuffed mushroom from Yuri’s plate and popping it into his mouth.  He licks at the grease left on the tip of his thumb. “Remember that last year?  They even brought that old tie and Victor cried when he tied it around Katsuki’s head like a crown.”

Mila laughs into her champagne flute and Yuri suppresses a shiver. 

“This feels worse than that.  This feels,” he says, pauses, curls his nose, “this feels weirder.”


“So what brings you here?” Vitaly Nikonov asks, rolling his wrist and watching the maraschino cherry swirl around in his manhattan. “I haven’t seen you around.” 

“Funny,” Katsuji Yuuta says, and he looks Vitaly Nikonov up and down like a question and an answer all at once. He tilts his head at the group Vitaly’s with and takes a swig of his own champagne. “I thought we might be here for the same reasons.  But I see you here, and suddenly I can’t remember why I came.”

“Oh, Mr. Katsuji,” Vitaly says, voice lowering. “I don’t think you’ve come close to coming yet.”

“Uh, guys,” says Mark from Sony, bumping a fist on Vitaly’s shoulder.  “Victor?  Yuuri?  I’m gonna–me and the boys, we’re gonna, uh, step away for awhile.”

Vitaly Nikonov hums as if Mark from Sony is very, very far away.  He can see nothing else but Katsuji Yuuta’s soulful, brown eyes.  


“Spies!” Mila does not squeal as she runs back to Otabek and Yuri with a refreshed drink and a plate of bacon wrapped scallops.  “They’re pretending they’re rival spies.  Or maybe Yuuri’s a honeypot?  I don’t know, all I could hear is them talking about trading intel upstairs and–”

“Gross,” Yuri says, stealing her champagne and downing it in one gulp.  Yuuri and Victor at banquets are going to drive him to an early retirement.  Next to him, Otabek is stoically looking at the chandelier over their table, trying not to laugh.  


“Mr. Katsuji!” Victor moans dramatically, his band collar shirt torn open, buttons flown across the room.  “Oh, if our agencies found us this way, they would kill us!”

“Stop!” Yuuri laughs on top of him, tucking his face away in the curve of Victor’s neck.  “Now it just sounds stupid.”

“We must run away together!” Victor says, rolling his hips up to greet the inviting curve of Yuuri’s ass through his briefs.  “Change our names!  Go into hiding!  The two of us against the world!”

“Victor, you said if I won gold you would take this seriously,” Yuuri whines, and he nibbles at the soft of Victor’s earlobe to make him gasp and still.  

“I am taking this seriously,” Victor says softly underneath him.  He rolls his hips up slower this time, a little more sluggish drag to prove how earnestly invested he is, dick hard and needy between the undone fly of his own pants.  “I was going to tell you of a bungalow I know tucked away off the coast of Bali.  We’ll think up new identities.  You can be Yuuri Katsuki.  I’ll be Victor Nikiforov.  Former figure skating champions.  We’ll fall asleep to the sound of waves every night, and no one will ever find us.  What do you think?” 

Yuuri grinds his ass down where Victor is waiting for him.  “I think you should keep going.”

Run, Barry, Run + Vigilantes

Justice League/Avengers Crossover 1


Thor has created a chatroom.

Thor has added Diana.

Thor: Greetings Princess Diana of Themyscira, Daughter of Hippolyta, God of War.

Diana: Greetings Prince Thor of Asgard, Son of Odin, God Of Thunder.

Clint has joined the chat.

Clint has added Oliver.

Clint: Greetings Peasant Oliver Queen of Star City, Parasite of your parents, Man of Green Arrows.

Oliver: Greetings Fellow Peasant Clint Barton of Compound Vents, Demon Spawn of your parents, Eye of The Hawk.

Thor: Do not mock our titles.

Diana: That is very improper of you, Ollie.

Thor: Barton, your title is more like Slumbering Coffee Monster of Avengers Compound.

Diana: And Ollie, yours is Angsty Island Man of Justice League Watch Tower.

Clint: They got us good, Queen.

Oliver: I am wounded from their insults.

Thor: Lady Diana, Lady Y/N informs me that you too have a member of your family with murderous tendencies.

Diana: Everyone on my father’s side has murderous tendencies. Family gatherings almost always end in a fist fight.

Thor: Would your family wish to take my brother in? Our pantheons may be different but I feel like he may fit in well among them.

Loki has joined the chat.

Loki: Thor, stop trying to get rid of me!

Diana: A compelling offer. I will agree on the grounds that you take one of my siblings as well.

Thor: I accept, who is the least likely to murder me and steal my right as future king of Asgard?

Loki has added Y/N.

Loki: Y/N! Do something! He is bartering me off!

You: I don’t think Loki would last a day in Diana’s family. Complete the exchange.

Keep reading

Highlights from the 1st session of my D&D campaign

(during character creation)
Mum: I’m Trump-Tinyhands, a famous half-orc ballerina.

(while trying to enter a cursed church) D
M: You (pixie character) enter the church, however, the second you enter you get distracted by a bright light, which you then fly towards blindly and continue to fly into it.
Dylan, our Pixie: IT’S SO BRIGHT AND SHINY

(in a bar)
Trump-Tinyhands: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Me want drink! Drink! Drink!
Dylan: Erm yes I think we might need a few more dozen pints for our friend over here, he’s not drunk enough.

(still in the bar)
M'riqa, our Khajiit thief, talking to the barmaid: Hey, I’ve seen many pussies in my time, but if I pet you right will your purr?
Barmaid: I will beat the shit out of you if you talk to me like that again.
M'riqa: *sprints right out of the bar*
Dylan: Damnit, come back here!

(going back to the cursed church)
DM: Maybe Dylan should stop trying to enter the church. He’s a Loki-worshipper and this is the Church of The God of Mild Frostbite and That Very Annoying Feeling You Get After You Warm Your Hands Up After Being In The Cold That Makes Your Fingers Feel Like They’re Burning
Trump-Tinyhands OOC: If that’s the God’s name, I can’t imagine just how long the sermons are.

(M'riqa spotted something pretty in the church and wants to steal it)
M'riqa: I enter the church!
DM: You try to enter the church, but it appears that you cannot. The curse on the church does not know what to do with you, so it simply becomes an invisible wall.
Trump-Tinyhands: I think something’s going on with this church.
Dylan: *sarcastically* I never would have thought of that!

(40 minutes into figuring out the church)
M'riqa OOC: Does anybody have Detect Magic?
Dylan OOC: Hell yeah I do!
M'riqa OOC: Then go do it you winged bastard.
Dylan: I cast Detect Magic on the church doorway.
M'riqa OOC: 40 fucking minutes. 40 FUCKING MINUTES WE’VE SPENT ON THIS FUCKING CHURCH CURSE ONLY NOW TO FIND THAT THE BLOODY PIXIE HAD THE KEY TO THE WHOLE DAMN THING
DM: You cast Detect Magic on the doorway. It seems that only followers of the God of Mild Fristbite and all that stuff can pass through the doorway.
Dylan: I can’t, I’m Loki’s priest.
Half-orc: What’s a priest? (too stupid to know what a god is)
Dylan: It’s down to you, M'riqa.
M'riqa: … I may or may not have sold my soul and devoted my life to Nocturnal. Is that a problem?

(later)
M'riqa: Nocturnal, may I stray from your path for a moment while I infiltrate this church?
DM: You poke yourself in the eye. That’s a no.
M'riqa: Please? Come on, I’ll steal something to add to the glory of the Guild!
DM: You sock yourself right in the nose. You are bleeding.
M'riqa: Pretty please?? I’ll serve you in the afterlife for twice as long!
DM: You stamp on your own foot.
M'riqa: Before I go any further, if I ask one more time, will I or will I not keep my tail?
DM: Nocturnal remains smugly silent.
M'riqa: If someone had told me that this is the sort of thing that happens when you give yourself to a god, then I may have reconsidered my choice.

Markiplier Gothic

-The lucky flannel has returned. The lucky flannel will always return. You cannot seem to destroy the lucky flannel. No matter how many times you steal it and burn it in the woods behind your house, it always makes its way back to him. You have tried to warn him many times, warn him that the luck comes with a price, warn him that the flannel will one day demand that all debts are paid; he has not heard your warnings, or perhaps he is ignoring them. Either way, you sadly conclude, it is too late. He is too far gone now.
You stop trying to steal the lucky flannel.

-“Herb lore,” you hear one, solitary voice chirp. It is a voice you do not recognize.
“Herb lore.” Responds another.
A cacophony of voices suddenly surround you. “Herb lore, herb lore, HERB LORE!” They chant, although not quite in unison.
You do not know where these voices are coming from, nor do you remember when you started chanting with them. With each passing repetition, you forget a little more about the life you lived before herb lore. You keep chanting anyway.

- @markiplier uses a slightly different voice for approximately 4 and a half seconds in a video. By the time you click away and open a new tab, Tumblr has created a character out of this voice. They have named him Kevin. Kevin now has four ask blogs and twelve fan blogs, seven of which have some variant of the phrase “protection squad” in their usernames. One of them is dedicated solely to NSFW KevinxAntisepticeye fan fiction. It already has 300 followers.

-Every once and a while, you hear the Ancient Ones howling outside your window in the middle of the night. “COLA AND MEAL PLEASE, NO BREAD,” they shriek. You do not know what this means. You are too afraid to ask.

-“Markiplier’s fanbase is a bunch of 12 year olds,” you hear them say. You look around, but you can’t see any. You realize that you can’t remember the last time you saw a 12 year old at all. What does a 12 year old look like? How long have you been older than 12? Were you ever 12?
You turn to the person nearest to you. It is a middle-aged man. He has a wife and two children. He works in accounting.
“How old are you?” You ask.
“12,” he replies.
You scream.

-“Subscribe for More!” reads the cheerful font at the end of the compilation video. It is not a suggestion.

-A blonde woman in an alien-themed sweatshirt passes you in the grocery store. As she walks around your cart, her arm brushes against a six pack of Corona.
“I CAN’T DRINK THAT, OR I WILL LITERALLY DIE,” a voice booms, the noise crackling in the air like lightning. The woman glances at you and you nod, confirming that, yes, you heard it too.

-“Shares are a little low this month,” he tells you. Something about his tone fills you with a strange, primal fear. You share his videos with your friends. You share them with family. You write the URLS on pieces of paper and staple them to trees.
“Shares are a little low this month.”
You’re positive it’s a warning this time.

-You go on a date with Markiplier. “You look so familiar. Have we met?” he asks. You decide not to tell him that you have. You have done all of this before. You have always been on this date with Markiplier.
There are now two Markipliers. You are holding them both at gunpoint. You know that the one on the left is the real one, because you have done this before. You have always been doing this.
You shoot the one on the left anyway.
Afterwards, you go out for ice cream.
“Bonjour!” The man behind the counter smiles. His eyes are not yet filled with quiet desperation. He must not know about the time loop.
You go on a date with Markiplier.

anonymous asked:

Any chance of a few good modern au fic recs for this piece of enjoltaire trash?

oh I’m sure I could think of a few… *winks with both eyes at the same time*
(also, here’s a list I made from a while back of some good e/R fics!)

Still the One by kjack89

Enjolras and Grantaire’s 50th wedding anniversary.

I don’t want to give it away, so I’m just going to say you should read it. Seriously

Word Count: 3,438

Oblivious by kjack89

The trouble with approaching your relationship the same way you approached your at-times contentious friendship is that apparently, no one realizes you’re actually dating. Or else Enjolras and Grantaire just have the absolute most oblivious of friends.

Or both.

I’m so used to the “everyone except Enjolras and Grantaire knows they like each other” trope, so this one was really fun to read!

Word Count: 4,567

flightless bird by sarahyyy

Combeferre grins. “How long did you wait before you called me?”

There is a short pause. “Two minutes?” Grantaire says, and Combeferre can’t help but to huff out a laugh. “He said three hours!” Grantaire says defensively.

“He’s fine,” Combeferre says, shaking his head in amusement. “He’ll call. He always calls.”

Damn….it’s the slight ambiguity at the end that gets me… (not to be read if you’re in the mood for fluff!! You might cry!!)

Word Count: 1,883

Years Since It’s Been Clear by lady_ragnell

Grantaire really doesn’t expect Enjolras to force him to move in with him when he hears how shitty Grantaire’s apartment is. And he definitely doesn’t expect Enjolras to want him to stay, or how easy it turns out to be, or the way Enjolras has a habit of doing his studying in the sunshine on the living room floor …

Yeah, he may be in some trouble.

Everything. Everything about this. SO GOOD (ps there’s some smut at the very end, just in case you’re not into that)

Word Count: 10,726

Of Roommates And Hallways by madlyie 

Prompt: “we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other” au

Enjolras learns that the guy from apartment No. 27 is much more talkative than a closed door.

Ok this is super frickin cute and the ending is just perfect. 11/10

Word Count: 1,376

I’ll be your Shelter, I’ll be your Storm by missandrogyny

Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

Fluff! So much fluff! Good things and happy thoughts!

Word Count: 5,532

One Hundred Ways to Say “I Love You” by the_sky_is_forever

In which Grantaire and Enjolras take a very long time to actually say those three special words, but if you pay attention, the words are there.

Love love love love love. I felt super content (in an “I’m wrapped up in a warm blanket sitting in front of a fire on a cold winter’s day” way) after reading this and honestly that’s one of the best feelings to have after reading a fic (for me personally)

Word Count: 16,484

nothing alike by nightswatch

Enjolras comes across a guy who’s trying to steal his car. Except that he’s not actually stealing his car.

The second hand embarrassment is real (I may or may not have buried my face in a blanket while reading this)

Word Count: 2,023

We’re All Stories, In The End by theglitterati

Les Amis discover fanfiction. About themselves.

I had to put this one on here just for fun because I was cackling when I read it

Word Count: 2,210

Ice Ice Baby by sigh_no_more

In the almost four years that Enjolras had known his friends, he always managed to avoid ice skating with them. This was very purposeful. It had to be. After all, they lived in the Northeast, so plenty of opportunities arose for him to go ice skating. He just never took advantage of them. Because Enjolras had a secret. A dark, terrible secret.

Given how nosy and internet savvy his friends were, it was kind of a miracle that only Combeferre and Courfeyrac knew about his past.

But it was time.

(Or the Amis go ice-skating and find out a surprising truth about Enjolras.)

Ok I had to include this one on here too because when I was rereading it just now, it kinda reminded me of Yuri on Ice and that made me happy sooo :)

Word Count: 2,945

All the times Steve nearly kissed Tony

More Avengers Assemble fluff, because AA really is the good verse <3
This can be read as a continuation to Touch if you like.


The first time Steve nearly kissed Tony was during a team movie night. Tony had, as usual, curled up on the sofa next to Steve and promptly fallen asleep on his shoulder. Any attempts to move or readjust him where met with the sort of whining growls one usually heard from a particularly grumpy cat, so Steve decided against antagonizing him further.

They and the rest of the team had been watching Some Like It Hot. The 20s setting had made Steve nostalgic, but the charming comedy of errors had made him laugh out loud. And that Marilyn Monroe - she really was something, he’d said to Clint, who had enthusiastically agreed.

After the movie had ended and the team had departed to go to bed, Steve gently nudged Tony. “Hey, sleepy,” he’d said softly. “You missed the movie.”

Tony looked up from Steve’s shoulder and opened one eye. “Worth it,” he said with a dozy smile. “You’re very comfy.”

For a moment, their eyes met, and Steve realized that he could lean forward a few inches, turn his head, and brush their lips together.

Just as Steve was wondering where that thought came from and what he should do about it, Tony snuggled his face back into Steve’s shoulder and promptly fell asleep.

Huh, thought Steve. That was odd.

Keep reading

So I saw a thing that said Leo would like cooking because he wouldn’t even need a stove or anything he could just use his fire, so of course I had to.