i may not have a self esteem but hey

anonymous asked:

hey. so i'm aware this may come across as weird but i think i'm not a slytherin. everyone says i'm too kind and nice and slytherins are generally not. i think about what other ppl think about me SO much. i am self conscious and have low self esteem as a result. i'm not ambitious- lazy, in fact. i'm not smart or am cunning. can't speak to people let alone speak honestly and be mean towards them. i know this might offend some slytherins and i'm sorry for it but these are some common traits.. (1/2)

“(2/2) i did a test with the exact same pottermore questions and was put into slytherin but it showed percentage and i missed hufflepuff buy 2%. did it multiple time alternating my choices and sometime hufflepuff was more than slytherin-but too close. is it possible that i am maybe both? slytherpuff is that and option? am i being too caught up with the stereotypes? could you help, maybe?

 (3/2) sorry this is too long. i was going through headcannons and i am not one of them. i don’t wear pearl earrings or sliver rings. i hate coffee. don’t go out. don’t get tipsy. i’m not sarcastic. i never ever said anything like ‘i love you but i love myself more’ i’m insecure about myself and i’m just a disgrace to the slytherin house.. “

First of all, You are not a disgrace to Slytherin. Don’t you dare assume that. 

Now, of course you can be a Slytherpuff. Slytherpuffs are the ones who keep the Slytherins sane, and stop them from doing stupid things on a whim. Slytherpuffs are the ones who acknowledge their insecurities but try to get over them, rather than supressing them like Slytherin or wallowing in them like Hufflepuff. Think of Neville. He spend the majority of his time at hogwarts thinking he belonged in hufflepuff, because he didn’t adhere to the Gryffindor stereotype of loud-mouthed, abrasive, extroverted heroes. I think you are indeed being caught up in stereotypes, which can happen of course, but are not true. One of my friends is Slytherin through and through, and is the kindest person you will meet, has social anxiety and is extremely lazy, traits not often immediately associated to Slytherin. Furthermore, a fear of failure is a large part of Slytherin, a house full of people who have grown up with tremendous amounts of pressure placed on them.

Finally, don’t take my headcanons too seriously. I am on the very extreme end of Slytherin, which of course not everyone will relate too. If you want to find something relatable, look for ‘Slytherpuff headcanons”, but again, don’t use them as the defining factor. I believe that you are indeed at least part Slytherin, and I am honoured to have you in my house.

anonymous asked:

I'm feeling weird since I cut out a toxic person in may, and since then my self esteem has soared and I think it was because of them but I don't have anyone else to talk to so I'm also isolated now and I don't wanna be?? Idk sorry to just, like, randomly rant but I'm lonely

Hey, I’m really glad you found the strength to remove the toxicity from your life. That’s incredibly difficult, but it’s important if you’re going to feel the way you deserve to feel. Don’t let them make you think you can’t talk to anyone else. You just have to start building connections with people who are good for you. Do things you enjoy, I promise you that you’ll find people who are good for you. You might be lonely for a bit, I won’t say that you won’t be, but in time things will continue to move forward for the better because that started with removing that person.

Steve Rogers: The Party And The Hot Guy Who Saved Me

Originally posted by wojdiz

Title: The Party And The Hot Guy Who Saved Me

Prompt: Steve X Reader where the reader gets dragged to a party with her friend but she doesn’t drink ot smoke, so she sits outside on the porch alone. Steve is out for a walk and sees her and sits with her and she admits that she always feels out of place

Characters: Steve Rogers

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1517

Notes: I tried to make your friend’s gender neutral, for those of you that have a best friend of a certain gender.  Oh, and if you ever feel out of place, please know that I will love you no matter what.  I hope you are having a lovely day!

“Come on, Y/n, live a little!”  Your friend’s breath was rancid in your face as she tugged on your hand, attempting to pull you inside the host’s apartment.  “It will be fun, I promise!”

“I’m really fine staying out here, babe.  Thank you for trying though.”  You tried to wave her off, but her drunken hands still clung onto your arm.  

“Pleaseeeeeee!”  You sighed, knowing that your drunken friend wouldn’t take no for an answer.  Plus, you wanted to make sure that they didn’t make any bad decisions in their state.

“Fine- I’ll go in for five minutes,”  You stood up from your seat on the front footsteps, brushing off your jeans as you did so.  “Tops.”

Your friend giggled excitedly and intertwined your fingers before throwing open the front door, revealing quite a scene.  Bodies of all shapes and sizes, of all genders were grinding against each other in the middle of the room, strange electronic music blasting throughout the apartment.  Those on the outskirts of the room paid little to no attention to the other partygoers, taking turns with the blunts of weed in their hands.  You sighed; this was going to be a long night.

Your friend led you through the front room, not caring that people were actively spilling their drinks on her clothes in the chaos of it all.  You jumped out of the way as one especially drunk man threw up on his partner’s shoes, her screeching ensuing not long afterwards.

“Let’s get some drinks, alright?”  Your friend continued to drag you behind them into the kitchen, heading over to the keg and a pile of red solo cups.  They disorientedly grabbed two cups, letting go of your hand to make their way over to the keg.  You tapped your foot anxiously as they filled the two cups to the brim, warm alcohol sloshing over and down the sides of the cups.

“Here you go Y/n!”

“Thanks,”  You mumbled, “I guess.”

“Now let’s get some action, shall we?”  They grabbed your hand again and led you back into the main room, squeezing through the gaps between dancers on the floor.  They stopped as a guy around your age approached the two of you, offering a hand to your friend.  They quickly chugged down the entire cup before tossing it aside and taking the man’s hand.  

“Sorry, but this one is too gorgeous to pass up.  See you later, Y/n!”  And then your friend was gone.  You rolled your eyes at their random drunken behavior, taking a sip of the drink in your hand.  You quickly spit it out (and onto the person next to you) as you realized just how bad the drink was.  

Grossed out, you quickly pushed through the bodies to one of the walls where there were less people.  However, your glee of getting out of the tangle of limbs was short lived as the stench of smoke reached your nostrils.  Your nose automatically wrinkled in disgust, and you continued past the druggies right to the door.  You threw it open and jumped out of the apartment as fast as physically possible, nearly tripping on the front steps in your haste.  

Trudging down the concrete steps, your alcohol-drenched shoes sloshing under you.  You sighed knowing that it would take days to air them out after washing them thoroughly.  In the worst case scenario, which was looking pretty likely at the moment, was that you would have to buy a new pair of shoes.  Which sucked, because you totally didn’t have the spare money to spend on another pair of shoes.

You gently slammed your head against the metal railing of the steps, groaning as you realized that you would have to be the responsible friend and make sure that your friend got home okay.  Meaning that you would have to wait for them to be done partying first.  Banging your head against the cool metal seemed pretty good night about now.

“Rough night?”

You didn’t bother looking up at whoever was talking, knowing that they were probably a douchebag looking to get laid.

“Please, could you guys just buzz off?”  Feet suddenly appeared in your vision.

“I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but are you alright?”

Your head swung up, surprised to hear such kind words.  Surely you were hearing things; there just weren’t enough nice people in this neighborhood to make you believe that this was happening.

Your eyes met a concerned sea blue pair of a beautiful man.  “Are you for real right now?”

“Yeah, I am.  Are you alright?”

“I guess.”

He gestured to the space beside her and raised an eyebrow, silently questioning if he could take a seat.  “May I?”

“It would be a pleasure.”  You scooted over further into the railing, making some room for your guest.

“The pleasure’s all mine.”  You smiled softly at the stranger’s politeness, happy that you weren’t vulnerably alone anymore.

“Thank you.”  You nodded to him, “So what brings you to this side of town?”

“This street is on my jogging route.”

“Ah,”  You made a sound of understanding.  “So you were taking a late night jog or something?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“I’d hate to break it to you, but this isn’t necessarily the best section of town to walk in.”  You looked him up and down, observing his strong muscles.  “Not that anyone would give you a problem.  I mean, look at you!”  You playfully poked him, making him chuckle.

“I think the real question is what is a woman like you doing in this section of town at this time of night?”

You jerked your thumb behind you, pointing to the loud apartment.  “Isn’t it obvious?  I’m partying my life away.”

“You don’t seem like the type of gal to be spending your night like that,”  You raised your eyebrows at his statement.  Sure, you didn’t usually party, but there was nothing wrong with people who enjoyed it.  Live and let live was your motto, after all.  “I mean, I just meant that, I didn’t mean that, ugh.”  He buried his head in his hands embarrassedly, which was quite a sight.

“Hey, it’s okay man.  I know what you meant.”

He sighed in relief.  “Sorry about that.”

Chuckling, you replied, “You’re very smooth with the ladies, you know that?”

He let out a laugh beside you, one that was music to your ears.  “Yeah, I guess I’m not very good at that.”

“It’s all good,”  You assured, “I’m not good at a lot of things either.”

“Pfft,”  He surprisingly made a sound of disbelief.  “I’m sure you’re great.”

“Not really,”  You sighed, thinking about how you never quite fit in.  All you wanted to do was be like your friends, but for some reason you just couldn’t get into the partying and the drinking and the drugs.  “I’m not very good at fitting in.”

He raised his eyebrows yet again, surprise etched onto his face.  You looked like a normal person, lovely in your own way.  He didn’t know why you would say such a thing about yourself.  “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean?”

“It’s just,”  You sighed, looking away from the man.  “I’ve never been quite the same as everyone else.  I was never much of a partier, and I was never really into alcohol and drugs and all that.  I’ve always been a bit different than everyone else.”

In his head, Steve’s mind was reeling.  How could you say such a thing?  You seemed like a perfectly fine person, and a lovely human being, and he was blown away that someone such as yourself could feel that way.  He may not have been very caught up with today’s day and age, but he guessed that self-esteem hadn’t gotten much better since he was around.

Suddenly, you were looking at your hands like they were the most interesting things in the world.  “Hey,”  He said, cautiously laying on of his palms on your hands, enclosing them with the other.  “You seem like a great person.  I’m sure you’re great no matter what you are into.”

You couldn’t help but smile brightly at him; he was such a great person.  “You are so sweet, you know that?”

His cheeks immediately went red; he was not used to pretty people people like yourself complimenting him about anything other than his heroics.  This was a nice change.  “Thanks,”  He mumbled.

Your grin didn’t lessen; you thought you must have looked like a fool smiling like that.  Yet you couldn’t quite wipe that stupid smile off of your face.  “Anytime.”

“So,”  He said, trying to shake off his flattered feeling.  “Why were you here if you don’t like all this?”

“I came with a friend.  I think I’m going to have to walk them home when they’re done.”

“That’s nice of you,”  He did always like kind, compassionate people.  “I could walk you both home, if you’d like.  After all, you did say no one would dare bother me on the streets!”

“Yeah,”  You chuckled softly, “I’d like that.”

anonymous asked:

what is it, psychologically, that enables me to look at other fat women and acknowledge that they're beautiful, but look at myself and think "I won't be beautiful until I lose 100 pounds"? im so frustrated. I want to love myself but I don't know how

This is a really common stage that so many of us have gone through in attempting to throw off the shackles of fat-phobia and live an unapologetic life. I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, and it doesn’t mean you won’t eventually love your body.

But for now, maybe the goal of *loving* your body is just not realistic. And that’s okay.

One of the problems I have current zeitgeist of body-positivity is that it replaces one unattainable standard with another. Mainstream culture tells you that you cannot be worthy unless you lose 100lbs, which is an impossible and unhealthy goal to pursue. But then mainstream body-positivity comes along and tells you that you should love your body with wild passionate bliss all the time fuck what society says rock on you goddess chubby grrls 4evah!!!… But that can also be an impossible and unhealthy goal for many people.

See, when someone has a negative body image and low self esteem, attempting to think thoughts that dramatically contradict those core self-beliefs can backfire. For such people, trying to love their bodies and think only positive thoughts can actually increase negative things and make them feel worse.

So what can you try instead? How about just aiming for non-negativity, or non-judgemental acceptance. Or, as I like to call it, adopt a “meh, oh well” attitude about your body.

Catch a glimpse of your big butt in the window as you walk past a shop… Just say, “meh, oh well.” See your double chin, think, “can’t win ‘em all.” Notice your tummy sitting on your thighs and just think, *shrug*. And then move on with your day! Neutral, not negative, just letting things go that you may have previously criticized.

I do this all the time and it helps me a lot. Sometimes, now that I have been practicing fat acceptance for a while, I will enjoy squeezing my belly or arms, or I will appreciate the curve of my big butt, and maybe you can get there one day too. But for now, “meh oh well” is a good first step to take. And hey, it’s a far cry better than hating on yourself.

Take care, you are awesome.

anonymous asked:

Haha hey, just came by to say that your art is fine! It may not be the best, but not everyone starts as a front page dA artist. I had and still have trouble with art, but practice is great and really improves your art. Besides, when you're bored or sad, drawing is great! Its a good time to practice. Experiment with your tools and try all sorts of things. My best pieces are ones where I broke my norm. But as always, kudos and good luck!

thanks so much! I have a lot of low self-esteem with stuff I make so this made me feel a lot better! (i tend to beat my self up for sucking at drawing >x<)

I think we overuse the phrase ‘toxic people’ on social media. People are only toxic if you let them consume you. Of course there are difficult people to be around, intolerable people even, however this doesn’t constitute as reason alone to label them as 'toxic’. Some people are suffering, some people are simply bitchy and some people are abusive. But I’ve learnt a lot from these kinds of people.

I’ve learnt that people that are suffering need to be comforted and showered in love. They need to be reminded that they aren’t as bad as they think they are. That regardless of their negative or narcissist personality traits, they are still capable of being loved. I think abandoning them in their time of need because we should get 'rid’ of these kinds of people is not fair. And deep down we all know this to be true. You don’t have to spend your days with these kinds of people, you simply need to show that even the hardest people to love at times are the one that need it most.

I’ve learnt that being around obsessive gossipers and people that love to belittle others serves me absolutely no purpose. So I simply refuse to partake in it. It’s funny because we often say these people must have really low self esteem issues or that they are insecure so they shift their focus to other peoples flaws. This may be true for some but others I believe crave the attention and simply love the concept of being 'popular’ through intimidation. So instead of ridding these people from your life, call them out on their behaviour and let them experience the shame they force upon those whom don’t deserve it one bit. Don’t imitate the mean girls scenario. Rather remain fair in judgement and say something like 'hey you know what it’s like to be a girl, stop competing by dragging others down and start realising things you judge others on really don’t matter that much after all’. If they are mean in return then walk away. “Why now?” You may ask. Well you gave them a chance to not be ignorant to their actions and they refused to listen. Some times walking away may be a lesson to these kinds of people. Don’t stick up for mean girls to be popular, you are perpetuating a cycle of cruelty that is not necessary in a world where as women we seek progress together over status or competition.

As for abusive people I must admit I haven’t had my fair share so my advice may be of little value. However, please release yourself from these relationships that are killing you slowly. You think you love them and you think you need them. But abuse is not an act of love and you deserve more than that. If violence is a sign of affection, then murder must be a sign of absolute admiration. Drugs and addiction are some times involved thereby causing the violence in these abusive relationships. You may want to help them but you should know that you don’t need to save other people if it risks you becoming a victim to their tragedy. Don’t imprison yourself to prevent imprisoning them. Seek help before the cycle gets too risky. Seek help before it becomes too late. Simply, seek help even though it’s not simple to do so.

You see different kinds of people exist and I’ve learnt that labelling these people under the one concept as 'toxic’ neglects trying to understand each individuals situation. All relationships are hard and even damaging at times, it doesn’t mean they are 'toxic’. Friends fight, families go through struggles and couples go through difficulties all the time. This idea of getting rid of people on the basis that we all deserve better is refusing to acknowledge the human element that exists in all of us. No one is perfect to be around all the time. I therefore think we overuse and make the phrase 'toxic people’ far too common place in social media. As we must realise that we learn so much from indifference, most of all we learn the people we don’t want to become. We learn more about ourselves from these kinds of people. Don’t rid yourself from life lessons by failing to give people a chance to correct their own behaviours. But don’t allow yourself to give chance after chance and let the relationship advance to a 'toxic’ level either.

I still believe 'toxic people’ exist, not because they themselves are 'toxic’ but rather as a result of time and space. Some times at certain times in our lives relationships are 'toxic’ because of our situation and some times we do need to let go. Letting go is different to ridding ourselves from these relationships. Letting go is more accepting of the people as they are but realising you are toxic to each other. Letting go is understanding that drugs are not good to be around and these kinds of people are no longer the people you came to know. Letting go is realising that gossip is addictive and you don’t need to seek gratification in something that has no benefit to anyone. Letting go is understanding that you are both worthy of more and are simply on different paths at this moment in your lives. Letting go shows that you are not above them, you are for them. You are for the notion that some times letting go is a lesson to them that you have already learnt. Some times letting go is what you both need.

—  3 a.m. thoughts ; we overuse the phrase ‘toxic people’ on social media.

hey friends

i know a lot of you are doing nano this month. but i feel nano is an exhausting, easy-to-fail enterprise if you’ve never taken on a big writing project before. going from zero to 1600 words a day is really hard, and all the professionals i’ve met only write 1000 anyway.

if you have mental health or self-esteem issues, i worry that not meeting this massive word count goal may make you feel like a failure. i know I would. you’re trying to run before you know how to crawl. there are some writers who can do that, but I have to build up. and i think before you can get in the ring with something novel-sized, you have to first feel normal writing every day.

so if you wanna use november as an opportunity to just make daily writing mandatory, no matter the amount, i’ll be proud of you. worry about word counts later, or only give yourself a small one. if it works, go into december, then january. slow and steady. then the next time nano comes around, you’ll be the man who practiced one kick 10,000 times, and you’ll be ready to kick its ass.

I think bullying should be punished by jail. It may seem drastic, but allow me to explain.

I became a passive-aggressive individual because of it, I can’t handle my rage if the pot overflows and I’m an outcast with low self-esteem whose lifelong dream is becoming someone important and be worldwide loved. I think it’s ridiculous, but hey it’s me. I don’t even have a true personality anymore, my acquaintances often say I’m unpredictable and with a two-sided personality, one is shy and soft and the other is violent and hostile. It can be anything, even simple criticism, and everything bursts. I can’t handle it anymore, and there’s no reason for it outside the bullying I suffered for years. I’ve been depressed, I’ve thought of suicide, I’ve tried it but gave up for god’s sake, but I’m facing a life I’m ruining all alone, with people hating me for the monster I’ve become.

If it makes people crazy or even suicidal, why isn’t bullying incitement to suicide? 

anonymous asked:

Hey there, I'm really stuck and don't know what to do. I recently met this guy and we kissed (at a festival when we were both drunk) but he is one of the nicest guys I have met, and I honestly think we are perfect for each other. We messaged for a few days after we met but the conversation didn't go anywhere and he kept his answers quite short. I honestly think about him every second of the day and can't stop, I don't know what to do and it's killing me because I really like him

There are one of several scenarios occurring:

  1. He’s keeping his answers short because he doesn’t want to come across as ‘desperate’, ‘clingy’ or ‘trying too hard’; he probably lacks the confidence to open up to you any more than his self-perceived ‘coolness’ will allow. The booze temporarily disabled that psychological block, but now he’s dumbfounded and has no clue what to do.
  2. He is terribly shy and doesn’t know how you feel about him currently; perhaps he’s getting mixed messages and doesn’t want to chance anything by advancing things.
  3. He’s changed his mind about the night and instead of being a scrublord and ignoring you, he’s letting you down gently by exhibiting an unengaging facade.

If you messaged him first, you should read the situation closer, but there’s probably a spark there. On the other hand, if he messaged YOU first, he’s PROBABLY feeling the same magic as you, but has no frickin’ clue what he’s doing. In such a case, it’s totally okay for you to be proactive and ask him something like, “Hey, I thought you were cool at the party and would you be interested in hanging out?”

You can have the braver heart and take a man’s hand because a lot of us do lack the courage to Grasp Life With Vigor and take charge. Remember, the only thing worse than the sting of rejection is the throbbing ache of regret.

Also, if you don’t find out, you may risk allocating an unhealthy amount of your happiness into unrequited love when you need to be investing it in yourself! Don’t let your happiness or self-esteem ever hinge on another person; you need to love yourself first, so bolster your own self-esteem with some decisive action! Believe in the us that believes in you!

- Engineer Dave

all those nights with the phone warming the side of my face like the sun. you made jokes and sure, i may have even laughed a little but mostly you were not funny. mostly you were beautiful. mostly you were unremarkable, even your mediocrity was unremarkable. when friends would ask ‘what do you like about him?” i would think of you holding a bouquet against the denim of your shirt. i mean, you had my face as your screensaver for gods sake, do you know what that does for the self-esteem of girl with an apparition for a father?
hey, do you remember the quiet between us in all those restaurants? all the other couples engrossed in deep conversation and us, as quiet as a closed mouth.
that one afternoon when i asked ‘why do you love me?’ and you replied as quick as a coin toss ‘because you’re mad, because you’re crazy’ and i said ‘why else?’ and you said ‘that mouth, i love that mouth’ and i collapsed into myself like a sheet right out of the dryer.
you clean, beautiful, unremarkable boy, raised by a pleasant mother, was i just a riot you loved to watch up close? there were times i picked arguments just so that we could have something to talk about.
last week, i walked through the part of the city i loved when i still loved you, our old haunts. you know, even the ghosts have moved on.
—  Warsan Shire