i may never wear a shirt again

anonymous asked:

pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college

okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order

- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”

- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”

- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.

- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction

- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)

- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him

- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.

- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.

- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point

- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???

- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.


- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach

- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.

- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao

- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class

- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again

- I’m not even kidding

- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour

- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching

- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.

- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.

- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.

- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.

- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.

- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.

- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.

- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.

- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.

- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream

- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.

- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.

-  I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.

- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.

- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.

- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.

- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.

- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.

- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.

- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.

- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.

- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.

- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.

- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg

- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.

- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.

- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.

- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.

- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.

- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.

- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals

- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”

There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.

Pay Me With Your Time YoongixReader
  • Yoongi: The sun is shinning! The breeze is breezing! My hair is quaffing! Life is goo-
  • Y/N bumps into Yoongi, spilling her Iced Coffee all over his new white shirt.
  • Yoongi: -cold! Life is so cold!
  • Y/N: I am so sorry.
  • Yoongi looks up into Y/N's eyes. He thinks.
  • Yoongi: It's fine.
  • Yoongi stalks away. He stops and turns back.
  • Yoongi: Actually it's not. Reimburse me.
  • Y/N: What?
  • Yoongi: Did I stutter? This shirt was expensive, and I'm probably never going to wear it again now that you've soiled it.
  • Y/N: Well what about my coffee? That'll be $7.65!
  • Yoongi: One: That is an insane amount to pay for an iced coffee. Two: (LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY: HA HA HA) I'm not paying you, you walked into me.
  • Y/N: Are you done?
  • Yoongi: One more. Three: I just realized that you are really, really pretty. I mean like insanely pretty, and that and only that is why I will consider buying you another iced coffee and allowing you to pay for the shirt with your time.
  • Y/N: May I speak now?
  • Yoongi: Go for it.
  • Y/N: One: Have you ever had good coffee? Cuz that's how much it costs. Two: I could argue that you walked into my defenseless, motionless iced coffee and spoiled it's existence. Three: I find you attractive too and I'm willing to look over your ass-nality and get a coffee. This way.
  • Y/N stalks away towards the Coffee shop and Yoongi trails after her.
  • Yoongi: Ass-nality?
  • Y/N: Ass-Personality. Coined it five seconds ago.
  • Yoongi: Oh. - So you find me attractive? I just thought you were pretty.
  • Y/N: (Groans) How much was that shirt in hours?
  • Yoongi: About three. I'm hoping you'll ruin another one of my things though. Want to break my phone? That'll cost you at least a week. (Wink)
  • A/N
  • I'm really liking these chats. It's pretty fun to write. La La Land was amazing and it got me in the Meet-Cute mood.
  • ~Armygirl
Sunny Days-chapter 11

Sunny Days Masterlist

Summary- Honeymoon period begins

Warnings- fluff and smut. Spanking, Masturbation, Sex, Vibrator, Squirting. Yeah, it’s a dirty chapter.

Word Count- about 4.3k

Author’s Note- Yeah, I meant to move the plot forward and it doesn’t seem like that’s really happening but this sets up how Negan is going to try and keep Sunny occupied and distracted from leaving the room. This was not as proofread as usual, because I wanted to get it out asap.

Tag List- @aalexandra2712 @adreamemporium @ali-pennell @alyisdead @andrealind24 @artemisxeros @ashzombie13 @blondesouthsquad @breemacen24 @negans-opheliac @coolgh0st @daintyunicorn @ericuhlohrain @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @flissworld @ladylorelitany @loliftingg @melodicdolls @memphisgirl1977 @miiraal @narcoleptic-moose-winchester @natjm13 @negans-dirty-girl @negansbby @negansxlucille @negans-network @ninjacuddlepile @peachtickler69 @rune-skyjumper @sassyfiedscribbles @shinydixon @starshinesupergirl @superanonymousreader @suzumebailey @thatwriterizzy @thealphaofmultifandoms @vendekk @vivalafuckingpluto @xomissi @withsilverleaves @xdaddy-neganx @ask-kakashihatake @mcnegan @hotfornegan @myheart4ever47 @fiftypercentmoreintoyou @yellatthetopofyourlungs @negansmainwife @jeffreydeanneganstrash @jml509 @collette04 @sweetsweetpeach @azanoni @multireality

 So many tags not working. I’ll try to message everyone. If your url has changed let me know!

Originally posted by grungedaddykinks

Sunny slowly opened her eyes and snapped them back shut against the bright light that assaulted her vision.

Why are the freaking lights on? Who does that?

She sat up rubbing her eyelids with her palms and tried again. Her eyes adjusted and focused on her new surroundings. Her hands flew to her mouth, smothering her gasp. She sat alone in a beautiful king sized bed with the softest silkiest sheets she’d ever felt. There was luxury dripping off everything in the room. She had never seen, let alone been in a room as beautiful as this one. She was almost afraid to touch anything.

She threw off the downy comforter eager to explore. Goosebumps raised along her bare legs and arms. Looking down, she saw she was clad only in a pink satin slip with black lace that hung low on the tops of her breasts from two spaghetti straps. Her back was completely exposed. The hem reached the tops of her thighs and two slits on either side worked their way up to her hips. Apparently, no panties had been provided. Moving to slide off the tall bed, she looked down and saw two kitten heel slippers with black feathery fluff.

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Happy. Happy?: Part 2

Originally posted by traviisbanks

Originally posted by thearchitectwwe

Part 1

Ever heard of the phrase you better swim before you drown? In my 22 years of life, I have only felt myself drowning; trying to grasp to whatever I could along the way to never fully succumb to the darkness that I feared. Serendipity brought Tyler to me and it made me believe in something I didn’t before…hope. Hope that I finally grabbed something that would bring me away from the darkness and see the light of happiness.

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anonymous asked:

aah i hope u feel better.. one of my favorite headcanons is that peter is a notorious Clothes Thief, everyone knows better than to let peter near anything they own that's soft/oversized/floral patterned/pretty much anything bc odds are they'll never see it again. also i have this mental image of senior!peter during like finals week falling over himself exhausted from spideying n studying just. stuffing himself w caffeine (that fuckin metabolism) wearing ned's hoodie n mj's sneakers he is a Mess

listen there are several times throughout peter’s high school career where he will just show up to class half asleep, and his outfit will be completely made up of stolen clothes.

shirt? aunt may’s. pants? flash’s. socks and shoes? ned’s. underwear? mj’s 👀


Okay, Jack posted this photo on Instagram and Twitter and I am F R E A K I N G O U T

Twitter had the caption  S̢͔͖͎͈̘̰͎ͅa̻̣͚͠͠v҉͈̭͖̙͉̰̩͈ͅe̦͚̞͞ him and Insta had the caption Spread̴͉̮̹i̠͖͎͚͔̤̘̝͘͠ń̸͈̗̝̖̜g̵҉̰̟͕̪



You may think Anti, because of the black shirt, gauges and cut neck. But Anti almost always looks intimidating.

This time he looks intimidated

He looks as if he’s being held captive… But by who?

Anti obviously wouldn’t capture himself, so who could it be?


From the instagram caption, we know that the septic is spreading…

And I think it just got Chase.


But then again, we have every reason to believe this is Jack.

We’ve never seen Chase wearing gauges, but who are the only 2 people we have seen?


So I believe that this is Jack… I mean, he doesn’t look like he has Chase’s shirt on.

Here’s the situation I think is going on.

Jack is being held captive by Anti, along with Dr Schneeplestein.

We have done well and protected Chase, Jackieboy Man and Marvin, but at what cost?

We’ve had so much attention focused on the others that we forgot about our main man, Jacksepticeye himself.

So now we must take back what’s ours and try to protect the remaining few as best we can.

Get your popcorn ready, because tomorrow will be a wild ride.

Wings, pt 2

For OQ Prompt Party Day 5: 129 Any domestic OQ kitchen chores with Regina in one of Robins shirts.

From the moment he’d walked into her bar, Finn Archer has always thought Roni was sexy.

She’d been giving some witless fool a talking to about smacking one of her servers on the ass, all fire and protective temper, and Finn had been sunk. He had a soft spot for bold and audacious, and she’d planted an arrow dead in it, and then pushed it deeper and deeper with every passing happy hour.

He’d fallen for her sense of humor, the acid burn of her wit, her tenacity. Had been helplessly attracted to the quiet steadfastness of her compassion, the way she shepherded the people she’d decided were hers, the regulars, the neighborhood. He loved her spine.

And then, well, there was looking at her. He’s always been a sucker for dark eyes and even darker curls, and she has both in abundance. Not to mention an ass that looks incredible in the tight jeans she tends to wear, and lips he’s wanted to kiss since he first saw them sneering at that asshole on day one.

So yes, he’s always thought she was sexy, but nothing, not a damn thing, had ever come close to measuring up to last night.

Last night, when weeks of flirting openly and shamelessly had finally come to fruition. They’d been having a grand old time of teasing each other, ever since that night he got his face good and bloodied. She’d been slow to open, a bit guarded, but once it had been established that both of them were, indeed, interested in each other in that particular way, she’d become far freer with meaningful glances and innuendos and all manner of teasing that made him even more addicted to her presence than he had been before.

Still, they’d taken their sweet time getting around to things. They’d tested the waters of flirtation, waded in and splashed about a bit. And he’d taken to staying later and later at the bar, closing out the place more and more often. Throwing back a few private shots on the house after all the salt and pepper shakers had been filled and the counters wiped down.

It had been one of those very nights that he’d finally kissed her. They’d been sitting side by side, sampling a new whiskey she’d ordered in, a single pour for each of them in a lowball, as they chatted inanely about notes and flavors and all sorts of things he cared far less about than the way her perfume was making him delightfully dizzy. She’d refreshed it at some point, didn’t smell quite so much like hops and spirits as she usually did.

She smelled like sandalwood, something warm and earthy, and he’d wanted to dig in deep and put down roots there. Stay a while. Soak up every good thing she had to offer, and other terrible metaphors that perfume-induced dizziness can draw out of a man.

She’d licked her lips, freshly slicked with a deep berry red, and he’d been unable to look away. Had watched the way she’d formed words with rapt attention, had thrilled at the white flash of her teeth when she smiled. And then had felt the embarrassed blush creep up the back of his neck as she ducked her head down just enough to meet his gaze and asked, “Is there something in my teeth or has this gone on too long for your tenuous hold on sanity, Phineas?”

It had been that – her insistence on using the full name he so loathes, and the smirking sass with which she always flings it at him – that had broken him.

Her words seemed permission enough – they both knew where this flirtation was headed – so he’d reached over, given her stool a good yank to the side to bring it in close, and swallowed her startled yelp with a bruising kiss.

And she’d just laughed.

Just let out this quiet chuckle against his mouth and wrapped an arm around his neck and pressed against him until she was damn near in his lap.

He’d left half an hour later, with his mouth smeared berry red and a half-mast stiffy, even more thoroughly besotted than before.

That had been a week ago, and now, here they are. In his kitchen at noon on a Sunday, freshly woken after a night of incredible sex.

If he’d thought she was tempting before, it was nothing compared to finally giving in. To the sight of her above him, her hair a wild, finger-raked mane of ringlets, breasts bouncing slightly with every thrust as she took him in to the hilt, moaning her appreciation all the while (he’s always loved her voice, the edge of it, the sultry velvet tones, but hearing her like that, God, he feels himself stir again just thinking about it). To the smell of her, sex and sweat and sandalwood, and the warm, eager press of her hands on his chest, his shoulders, the bite of those red-painted nails as she arched her back, and came and—

“What are you thinking about right now?” she asks like she knows exactly what he’s thinking about right now, one hip leaning against the counter’s edge near his stove as she stirs up a bowl of pancake batter. She’s in his Mariners t-shirt—something she’d snagged from his floor this morning, her own blouse and skinny jeans lost somewhere between door and living room—and he can’t stop staring at her legs, has spent the morning distracted by the peek-a-boo curve of her ass as she’d shimmied slightly to the Stones on his speakers, humming about her lack of satisfaction as she’d whisked.

He’s not exactly been subtle about his admiration of her, so he doesn’t bother to be coy now, just shrugs and says, “Last night. Having you again, here, on that countertop.”

Roni pauses for a moment, and grins at him, then turns back to pour her pancakes with a drawled, “Oh, really?”

She pours out a dollop into the pan, the action lifting the hem of the shirt just enough to see the curve of her ass yet again. Bless that shirt; he may never wash it again.

“Mmhmm,” he tells her. “I find I quite like you in my shirt.”

“Mm, and here I thought you’d like me better out of it,” she teases back, and he grins.

“Oh, I do definitely like that, too,” he assures, rising from his seat and moving to wrap his arms around her waist as she pours another circle. “But there’s something very appealing about you wearing my clothes.” One of those hands slides down, dips beneath the hem of his shirt and tucks itself away between her thighs. She gasps softly at his touch, and Finn noses down along her neck to murmur, “And nothing else.”

Roni lets out another little laugh and sends a half-hearted elbow back into his ribs.

“Easy, tiger. Keep that up, and I’ll burn the pancakes,” she warns, but she’s grinning now, arching slightly into his touch.

When she presses her ass back against him and rubs teasingly, he decides Sod it, and reaches over to kill the heat beneath the burner, insisting, “We can make more.”

She turns her head – to scold again, he thinks, but she surprises him, pulling his mouth down to hers and kissing him eagerly.

In a moment she’s up on the countertop, and they’re thoroughly wrapped around each other again.

His shorts end up on the floor, his vest as well.

His Mariners t-shirt, though, that stays on.


today in Things That Sound Made Up for Tumblr Notes: the girl in front of me at Starbucks was named Carmilla.

Scene: Off-interstate Starbucks in mid-size town North Carolina. Relatively busy. 7:30 a.m. One very sleepy, pre-coffee me just trying to get her iced coffee and bagel and not be late to work again.

Barista: (looks directly at me) Carmilla?

Me: Uhhh…

Internal me: (…am I Carmilla? Did I wear my Carmilla shirt today? Am I having a stroke?)

Very nice lady who appears entirely out of the usual age-range for a Creampuff: That’s me. Thanks.

Me: …..

I have no explanation for this. She vanished into the parking lot, never to be seen again. Was it a fake name? Is she a traveler, passing through? Is there someone in my town walking around named Carmilla? Was I having a lack-of-coffee-induced hallucination? The world may never know

Music Series: Tee Shirt by Birdy

A third Music Series story in one day? What? Unheard of, you say?…but yet, here it is. It’s been a rough day today and these little music series stories make me happy, so another baby created.

This one was written for Birdy’s song called “Tee Shirt”. Here is a link to the song on my Spotify playlist called I Love You Long Time.

Thanks for reading! xo



In the morning when you wake up

I like to believe you are thinking of me

And when the sun comes through your window

I like to believe you’ve been dreaming of me

Dreaming mmm mmm

You lay in bed, listening to your Spotify play a sappy love song, unable to pull yourself out from under the covers quite yet. Harry was away with work and his side of the bed was cold and empty. Only two more weeks, you kept telling yourself. Two more weeks and he would be back home again.

You grabbed his pillow, pulling it to your face and inhaling deeply. His scent was the same as gone, but it didn’t stop you from trying to breathe him in every time you were in bed. You grabbed the neckline of his t-shirt you were wearing and clutched it to your body, wishing he was there for you to hold. It was one of Harry’s favorite t-shirts, but after realizing how much he loved seeing you in it, he relinquished it to you to sleep in.

I know ‘cause I’d spend half this morning

Thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in

I should know 'cause I’d spend all the whole day

Listening to your message I’m keeping, and never deleting

Harry finished his morning interviews and went back to his hotel room for a couple of hours of relaxing until he was due to leave once again. He looked out the window of the chauffeured car, his eyes blearily glancing at buildings and people and cars, but his mind was only on one thing…you.

You had been on Harry’s mind since he woke that morning, every morning really, and even through interviews and meeting people, his mind never strayed from you…what you may be doing…who was lucky enough to be spending time with you in that moment…what you were possibly wearing?

That t-shirt. My t-shirt, he thought and smiled. It was early morning where you were, and he knew you would still be lying in bed, sleeping in the t-shirt he had given to you to wear. One more week, his mind wandered as he closed his eyes, lying on the bed in his hotel room. One more week until I can hold her in that t-shirt again.

He pulled out his phone to check for messages and saw you had called while his phone was silenced during interviews. He smiled and clicked the little voicemail play button to listen.

‘Hey, handsome. Just wanted you to know, I’m thinking about you. Lonely here without you. I miss you. Can’t wait to see you next week. I love you!’ he heard your voice say through the earpiece. He wasn’t really sure how many times he listened to your message, but he was never going to delete it from his phone.

When I saw you, everyone knew I liked the effect that you had on my eyes

But no one else heard the weight of your words

Or felt the effect that they have on my mind

Falling mmm mmm

As his jet landed and found its way to the designated spot on the tarmac, Harry grabbed his bags, making sure he had everything, then started walking down the steps, saying goodbye to those he traveled with. He saw the car that had been sent to take him home and began walking toward it as he saw the door opening. A smile came over his face as he saw you step out, already smiling at him with tears down your face. He dropped his bags near the car and quickly grabbed you into his arms. Everyone stood and watched with a smile, knowing how much he had missed you and couldn’t wait to see you.

Harry hugged you tightly and you heard him sniff, his breathing catching a bit. He kissed you almost frantically, planting loving pecks on your face, your lips, anywhere his lips could find to leave them.

“I missed you,” he whispered into your ear. “So much.”

He held you for a moment longer then pulled away, looking into your tear-worn, but smiling, eyes.

“Let’s go home.”

I know 'cause I’d spend half this morning

Thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in

I should know 'cause I’d spend all the whole day

Listening to your message I’m keeping and never deleting

Phan: Those Who Trust - Part 28

Wordcount: 3.2k
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: past non-con and abuse
Summary: Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.
Beta: legendarygalaxydragon
A/N: I warned you I’d be back in May. And if you’re thinking ‘God damn it, that annoying person again with that stupid fic that never ends’ then don’t worry, I’m like 99% sure that there are not more than ten chapters left. I think. Hope you enjoy. :) x


Dan was tugging at the hem of his white button-up shirt nervously. It had a tendency of riding up when he moved too much, exposing the black belt he was wearing and a little bit of skin. PJ had said that it looked fine, that he looked good, but he wasn’t so sure about that. He felt overdressed and underdressed at the same time, not knowing where Phil would take him today. Dan guessed that that was his own fault as he had told Phil to surprise him, and Phil had taken his words more seriously than Dan had intended them to be. His lips had been sealed when Dan had asked where they were going, and PJ hadn’t been helpful either. He had just assured Dan that he would absolutely love what Phil had planned for them.

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*.:。✿ My birthday in Berlin in pictures becaus I’m a ho for aesthetics. / 01/09/2017

I have a good day?     Decided to go out by myself cuz LOL I have no one to go with me. Went into the castle in Steglitz and shopped around, had a good time having lunch, got some cute as fuck make up sponges that I don’t need? Now I’m having cake and booze (I     never     drink! I will regret it. i got it purely because it’s pink..) Clothes that reminded me of     Stevie Nicks -     I’m so in love I could cry. I never wear skirts. One SATC coat in leopard print … I looked like Carrie. And the best of all, a shirt     “Get off my back”     because I seriously needed it. Can I just say that the lighting in those dressing rooms is fantastic and I took shitloads of selfies that I may never look at again ~ 

Look at that Rene Russo jacket, I look like @annalerrel <3 

Summa sumarum: I have a great brithday all by myself.

  • On the 8th: I wore my Captain America shirt because I believed in freedom and equality in this land of the free. That I was proud to vote and that I'm proud to be in a country I call home that supports democracy and that citizens like me have a say in who governs us.
  • Today (November 9th, 2016): my fears and nightmares have not only come true but most dreams have been crushed. I wore my Firefly shirt because I needed a bit of solace and serenity and because I wanted to remind myself of my other favorite (fictional) Captain's words: "May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."
  • Tomorrow: I will wear my Cap shirt again and I will remind myself the stories told to us both in (super)heroic fiction and the legendary and remarkable history of others before us who have fought back against oppression and injustice that we don't give up when we're pushed down. That we stand again and we push back. That bullies won't win. That love and compassion trumps hate. And that no matter what, you are never alone in this fight.

Your name: submit What is this?

Written by Mikayla

Hey guys! This fic is a little different for me! If you notice it is a Jensen x Reader fic! I hope you all like it.

“One more box.” You muttered to yourself as you struggled with the decisions of unpacking the last box, or just calling it quits for the day and drink a glass of wine surrounded by empty boxes. So far, it looked like wine was definitely winning. Your muscles ached from all of the stretching and box moving you had been doing to put your stuff in their desired places. You refused to live in a house full of boxes so you had set to work unpacking the day before almost as soon as the moving truck was completely unloaded. You had just moved to Texas. Austin, Texas.

You were craving a fresh start somewhere where nobody knew who you were. You had just gone through a series of horrible events and you had tried to assure your family that you weren’t just ‘running away from your problems’. You hated it when people said ignorant stuff like that. You weren’t running from anything, you had to get away for your own mental well-being. You were just about to run and grab your keys when your doorbell rang. You swore you met all of your neighbors. Apparently not. You looked through the peephole and when you did you swore you had a mini heart attack. You tried to console yourself as you opened the door. You surprised yourself by remaining calm. “Hello,” You said as you opened your glass screen door as well.

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I cant wait for fall when i can wear just a sports bra and my big green sweater again, its such a good look, or with my floral crop top and the sweater OH AND THE STRAPPY SPORTS BRA AND THE BLACK RIPPED UP SWEATER i always look so hot in that. Fall/Winter clothes are the best

My niece wore a shirt to school today that showed just a bit of her bra strap. And only if she moved a certain way. So what does the school do? They make her wear a t-shirt that says she broke dress code for the rest of the day.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people? You do not shame a child. Period. Those fucking assholes. She goes to a charter school. It’s entirely possible when I call them and let them know that they will never do that again, I may get her kicked out.

the Mystery of Undertakers Layers

*WARNING: prepare yourselves for a very long and possibly boring debate on Undertaker’s outfit. If this does not interest you, keep on scrolling~ I am making this post because some have varying opinions on how many layers Undertaker wears and for some this is critical I guess*

It was brought to my attention by one of my followers that this post may be faulty, and that Undertaker may not have 4 layers after all! Soooo, let’s investigate!

Undertaker: Yana’s notes

In Yana Toboso’s original character design notes of Undertaker, she goes through the basics of his uniform. Here, she only mentions Undertaker wearing what appears to be two layers (not counting the sash):

I can’t read Japanese, so I don’t know what the notes Yana Toboso wrote down say, nor if they play a vital role in telling us how many layers he is wearing.  

Undertaker: anime and manga

Despite Yana’s original notes, Undertaker’s anime and manga outfits seem to look like he has on a white undershirt. Now, I have heard three different theories on this:

1. The white (appears gray in the anime) lining on his button-down is a decorative hem

Mandarin collars such as this typically have their lining sewn on top or on the same layer as the dress/shirt. This means that the button down and white/gray lining are one layer.

2. He is wearing two layers, a white undershirt and his black button down:

This is what I have recently come to believe, due to the fact that in the manga (and even some anime clips), his mandarin collar appears to be split with the black portion overlapping the white/gray portion:

here is a nearly identical white shirt+black button down combination, which would support the 2 layer/shirt argument:

while Undertaker’s button-down is long, this is still how I was viewing the anatomy of what he wore.

3. He has the “trick layers” thing going on:

remember when you were younger and had one of those shirts that LOOKED like you were wearing a long sleeve shirt under a short sleeve one, or it looked like you were wearing two shirts, but in fact, you only had one? I’m talking about one of these bad boys:

While I’m not even sure this was a thing back in the 1800′s, this is the third option. This would mean that he does have a separate layer of fabric at his collar/sleeves, but it is again just for decoration and ends shortly inside the hems of his outfit.

Well, that’s enough of  the 2 vs 3 layers debate. Moving on to something a bit more…confusing?

Undertaker: possible four layers??

IF you believe that he is wearing 3 separate shirts, the theory I believed,  than this bit of info may lead us to him having possibly four layers.

While I admit, I have never noticed or seen this drawing in either the manga or the anime, the official Undertaker figure shows him with an extra layer:

While I admit, this could be a flaw or just a figure design add-on, but I couldn’t help but notice in one of Yana’s most recent works of art (from the New Year’s event) his button-down does appear to be split:

while it’s a little hard to see in the first pic, she has indeed created a separation between the button-down shirt and his high collared black shirt, thus giving Undertaker 4 layers (if you count his white shirt and black shirt as being two).
Before this pic and the figure, I had never seen Yana do this with his black shirt, even in the manga or other official arts. Maybe it’s a new style? a new look for UT? Maybe it has always been there but she has only drawn the split button-down as a crease.

WHEW well, that was a lot. I hope this clears up any confusions or questions on how many layers Undertaker might have and my opinion on the matter. To those who actually read this god forsaken thing, thank you

also may I remind everyone that none of this is totally canon unless Yana says so herself. (PS- I would love to hear your feedback on this~!)

Dearest friend, 

Because we have to get ready for the hunt, we are closing the Schwag Shwop down this week. 

I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but since your team is going to have the best GISHWHES submissions this year, you’re clearly going to be on the cover of the 2016 Yearbook. Wouldn’t it be terrible to be on the cover of such a noteworthy publication and not be able to get your hands on a copy to keep forever? I don’t want that to happen to you! 

Go to the Schwag Shwop now and order your 2016 GISHWHES Schwag. Not only do we have yearbooks and pretty cool water bottles, we’ve also got other essentials such as shirts that have been proven to increase the wearer’s overall attractiveness by as much as 713%.* Trust me—I wore one of these shirts and I got hit on all day.**  

After this week you may never see some of this stuff again. So if you want to check them out, go now! 

Your friend and confidant, 

*Margin of error is 710%. 
** When i say i was “hit on all day,” what i mean, more literally is that “someone asked me for directions” when i happened to be wearing the shirt.

Fic: Dress You Up

anon prompted: imagine kurt and blaine are going out (lets just say to one of kurt’s work parties) and kurt LOVES blaine in this particular black shirt so he always tries to get blaine to wear it to functions (or whatevs) because his husband looks so dang sexy in it uwu

~900 words, PG-13, sheer fluff.

Okay, Kurt, just stay calm. You’re an actor for a reason, you know.

“Babe? Why are my clothes lying on the bed?” Blaine asked, appearing from their en-suite bathroom with wet, tousled hair and a towel slung around his waist. “You wanna borrow them or something?”

“What? Oh my God, no,” Kurt said, crinkling his nose in distaste. “They’re for you to wear tonight, silly.”

Don’t question it, just go with it, c’mon….

“But you let me pick my own wardrobe years ago,” Blaine said, brows furrowing in confusion.

“I stopped giving you advice, B,” Kurt interjected. “I always let you pick your own clothes.”

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A Pocketful of Jelly Beans, Ch.15

Summary: AU Accountant Tom and his wife are on their way to a party when they are overtaken by masked gunmen and secrets are forced to light.

Genre: Thriller/Angst

Rating: M (abduction/flashbacks, depiction of gun violence, bruising/marking, non-explicit sexual scenes)

Author’s Notes: Thank you so much for supporting this story! No warnings for this chapter.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7- Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14


The words spilled from my mouth before I realized what I was saying.

“We do need you, Tom.  We do.”

“’We,’ darling?”

This is what it’s like in movies when everything goes into slow motion and the camera does a 360 turn around the protagonist.

This is it.  You have to tell him now.

His eyes, those big blue eyes that gazed down at me as I sat at my desk not even a year ago, were a few inches from my own.

Those big blue eyes that could barely meet my own the first time he asked me out for coffee.

Those big blue eyes that widened in delight when I proposed.

Those big blue eyes that regarded me shrewdly on that afternoon he teased me so deliciously at the museum.

Those big blue eyes that I hoped this baby would inherit.

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