Ok I think that’s everyone! I’m so sorry if I missed you cus tumblr was being a butt and not showing me everyone And now I’m gonna write a few extra messages ^^
To all of my mutuals:
I know I don’t talk much, but just know that I appreciate you all so much. I wish I could talk to you all more but I’m a shy and awkward bean yes I said bean Really I love you all and thank you for following me <3 <3 <3
Chey!! We’ve been mutuals for sooo long. I remember getting tagged in so much Jackson posts and tags lol. Your texts and snaps give me life, no lie, and I love your sense of humor. I love you so much and I will always consider you a really great friend no matter what <3
Elena my #1 hoe lol. We met when you sent me an anon and I will forever remember that day just because of you. We fight over some things but you’re one of my best friends and I love you so so so so so much. You can make me laugh and smile even when I’m pissed off lol and I thank you for that <3
Logan! ^^ God it feels like we have been mutuals forever lol I read your message in your follow forever and I felt so happy! And the quality Rocky content I get to see because of you is something I will forever love. But hey you go on an be a nctzen lol <3
Ok so I followed your blog a really looong time ago lol and I’ve always love your writing. Ngl when I saw you followed me back I was super happy to the point of fangirling lol Plus you know PENGUIN LOVE I still read your stuff to this day and I still love it so much <3
All in all, I’m so happy that I made it to 1.2k followers here starting way back when I was jacksons-smile. It’s been a long journey and I’m super excited to keep going on it with all of my followers and mutuals!! I love each and every one of you so much that you can’t even possibly understand, and I hope you have a wonder day/night!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.
Jung Sewoon’s voice was the prettiest, although Lee Gunhee’s voice was pretty too
Lee Euiwoong’s face, dance, and rap was perfect; his dance style was perfect for the choreography of the song
Bae Jinyoung’s face was really pretty, had light makeup on but it suited him well, was very energetic, and during his parts, he showed off his charms; even with contact lenses on, his face was so small you have to go closer to his face, he wasn’t nervous at all
Choi Minki was the focus of the stage, he’s like a real man, he will go up ranks for sure
Gunhee’s voice was a must for the team, his dance and singing was really good
Park Jihoon was cute, sexy, and prefect in real life
Ahn Hyungseob did lots of aegyo and sent many hearts, and Euiwoong went crazy with hearts, flying kisses, and bright smiles
Jinyoung, Jihoon, and Minki did their puppy pose from their entrance together
OP could not hear the full song because they kept on cutting their rehearsal to redo and rewatch how they did
Kang Dongho looks like he lost a lot of weight, was so handsome, his voice supported the song perfectly, an amazing vocal
Takada Kenta’s face was really pretty, had light makeup on but it suited him well, he flew on stage
For the actual stage, Yoo Seonho wore a black suit, he opened it and did body rolls and lied down on the floor (please do not sexualize him)
BoA asked what kind of song 열어줘 is, and Seonho said it was a sexy and inappropriate song
Kang Daniel’s killing part was throwing off his jacket and body wave
Kim Yongguk did really well in the rehearsals, he sweat a lot while dancing, his dancing was very good
Kenta and Yongguk suit the concept the best
Open stage was very sexy and mostly contains body waves
audience asked for an encore
Park Woojin was in really bad condition today, he caught the shingles and wore an eyepatch, his face was swollen
Hwang Minhyun’s visuals need to be praised, at the end his smile…
Lee Daehwi’s voice suited the song very well
OP thinks Kim Jaehwan will suprise everyone
Kim Jonghyun’s visuals was very handsome and his visuals were 100, his expressions killed, seemed to understand the song very well
Lai Guanlin made a huge mistake in the choreography (another OP said it wasn’t that huge, it depends on your own perspective)
Park Woojin and Guanlin rapped, and Ong Seongwu did the killing part
BoA asked something to Guanlin but he didn’t understand, so Daehwi explained it to him in English (i thought this was cute)
fireworks in the introduction and last chorus, paper strips fell at the end
Kim Samuel, Park Woodam, and Ha Sungwoon said this may be their last performance
OP cried while hearing Lee Woojin sing, “his voice brings back people from hell”
Samuel must have a mindset to improve, he was flying on stage
I Know You Know
Kwon Hyunbin’s skills keep increasing, this stage is the best one he did, makes your eyes keep going to him
Kim Taedong’s makeup looked amazing on him today, his dance was amazing, OP assumes his rank will move up a lot
This is for the anon who requested the bipolar disorders one around a few weeks ago, I am sorry for the long wait but it is finally done and I really do connect to this story so much. I hope you will enjoy it xx
fixed on the floor, her arms wrapped around herself, Y/N was
sitting on the couch with her friends all around her but still she
felt all alone. She was trapped in her own silence, despite the loud
laughs coming from her best friends. She had tried to stay focused,
to pay attention but her mind couldn’t help but drag her away. Her
emotions were usually all mixed up but at this exact moment, she
couldn’t feel a fucking thing. And when you think about it, what’s
worse than feeling too much or not enough? Feeling nothing at all.
She had everything to be happy about. A loving boyfriend. Some pretty
incredible friends. A job that she was glad to have. But her mental
illness was destroying everything around her, including her own
happiness. Because one minute she’s sunny then the next, she’s
pouring down rain.
flinched as she felt someone nudged their shoulder with hers and she
looked up, between the confused glances of the boys. She slightly
jumped at the feeling of a hand on her knee and she looked up to the
man that owned her heart, a worried look directed towards her. “Is
everything okay?” Jack asked, his blue-eyes darting over her face
and he could tell that something was wrong. “Yeah, I’m just really
tired.” Y/N said, sending him a smile and he smiled back,
dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “Do you want me to drive
you home?” Jack offered, grabbing hold of her hand before
intertwining their fingers together. Y/N looked at their locked
hands, Jack brushing his thumb gently against hers, before looking up
to meet Conor’s eyes and the older boy instantly knew. “Actually, I
need to go home to work on something so maybe I can drop you on my
way if you want.” Conor offered, getting up to put his jacket back
on. “Are you sure?” Jack asked, frowning at this brother. Y/N got up, letting go of his hand and Jack frowned even more. “Yeah, I
don’t mind.” Conor simply shrugged, exchanging a look with Y/N.
The other boys were still sending them confused looks and Y/N bend down to press a quick kiss on Jack’s lips. “I’ll see you
later.” She smiled at him before both Conor and her were out of the
heavy silence suddenly fell over the whole apartment. “Don’t you
think it’s weird?” Josh asked, the question directed to Jack and
the 22-year-old boy frowned once again. “What is?” Jack replied,
confusion itched across his face as the others boys all looked at
each other. “How Conor is spending more time with your girlfriend
then you are!” Oli scoffed as if his statement was evident and Jack
rolled his eyes. “What are you saying?” Jack questioned, a slight
hint of annoyance in his voice. “Just that your brother and your
girlfriend are really close and that’s not normal, mate.” Josh
explained, not mentioning the word that Jack probably wouldn’t want
to hear anyway. “Come on, they’ve know each other for years. I
wouldn’t even be with her now if it wasn’t thanks to him.” Jack
admitted, getting up to put his jacket back on. “We don’t want you
to be hurt, bro.” Joe stated, smiling up at this friend but the
fake blonde boy sighed before taking his keys. “I know but they
both wouldn’t do this to me.” Jack said, his chest tightening at
the thought of what they could be doing. “Where are you going?”
Josh asked, watching his friend get ready to leave. “Just grabbing
something at mine. I’ll be back soon.” Jack smiled at them before
walking out of the flat and hopping into his car, driving where he
knew he probably shouldn’t.
Jack was right because as he arrived at his girlfriend’s flat, he was
surprised to see Conor’s car parked there. He felt himself fill with
nerves as he was hoping that his mates were wrong all the way. He
quickly climbed the stairs to her floor and he frowned as the door
was slightly opened which was unusual. He pushed the door open slowly
and froze as he heard his brother’s voice.
“You need to tell him, Y/N.” Conor snapped, a slight hint of anger in his voice. And
Jack felt his heart shrink, the boys were right and he had been
blind. “He loves you. That’s not fair to him.” Conor continued,
his voice now soft as he made a step towards her. It went silent for
a moment and Jack was about to walk in, his veins popping from the
anger but stopped at her next words. “I didn’t took it this
morning, Con.”Y/N said, a voice crack escaping her throat and
Jack felt his heart break even more. Was she talking about the pill?
Conor stepped towards her, wrapping his arm around her in comfort. It
was too much for him to handle.
He violently closed the door behind
him, walking furiously in the living room, eyeing the both of them.
“So how has it been since you two are seeing each other, huh?”
Jack snapped, his stare cold on his older brother. Conor immediately
stepped away her, a soft look on his sibling. Conor knew this would
happen. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it! You and my brother? Y/N,really?” Jack yelled, this time looking over at her who
had tears streaming down her face. “Don’t yell at her!” Conor
said, getting in front of her protectively. “I can’t believe you’d
do that to me.” Jack said, his tone harsh, pushing him slightly.
“Why? What did I do to you? Was I not good enough?” He said, his
eyes meeting hers. She was sobbing and he didn’t know what to do.
“We’re not seeing each other, you idiot!” Conor snapped at him,
pushing him back and his eyes turned from anger to confusion. Conor
reached out for something behind him and handed it to Jack.
frowned at the orange box that was in his hands and his eyes fell on
Last visit :
His anger waved off and was replaced by guilt because he
had been wrong. So wrong.
looked between the two of them before dropping a kiss to the top of Y/N’s head. “I’ll call you.” Conor stated, giving her a soft
smile before walking out of the flat, leaving a heavy silence hanging
in the air.
put the small box down and walked closer to her, brushing his fingers
on her bare arm and her eyes were locked onto the ground. “Why
didn’t you tell me?” Jack asked, hesitantly but she still was
staring at the hard wood floor. “Conor has always known and it was
already a burden for him, even before I knew you. I didn’t want you
to be invested in this mess that I am.” She admitted, her voice
weak as she moved away from him, passing a hand through her hair.
“It’s too late for that.” Jack said, watching her intensely,
seeing a part of her that he had never seen before. “You can still
walk away while you can.” She said, crossing her arms as she was
fighting the new tears forming in her eyes. “I never will.” Jack
admitted, stepping towards her, taking her hand in his. “You don’t
have to ashamed about it, it makes you who you are.” He started,
brushing his fingers against
her cheek. “I can imagine how much it sucks but you can fight it.
And I will help you with that. Because you may be a mess, but you are
my mess.” Jack finished and Y/N wrapped her arms around him,
letting her emotions out as she cried onto him for a while.
sorry for not telling you.” Y/N mumbled between her tears and
Jack kissed the top of her head gently. “I’m sorry for thinking
that you were cheating on me with my brother. That was childish.”
Jack said, smiling as he felt himself relax after being on such an
emotional roller coaster. “It was.” She said, wiping her eyes
quickly, giving him a soft smile and he leaned in to give her a soft
that smile right there, okay?” Jack asked but it sounded more like
And with the nod that Y/N gave her, he knew that
it would all be fine because he was there for her. There was no
cheating. Just a beautiful messed up girl that would be alright
because she had the best persons by her side.
The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.
songs listened to while writing this (i also suggest you listening to them too to get the vibe please!!!): personal jesus - depeche mode, daddy issues - the neighbourhood, fallingforyou - the 1975, antichrist - the 1975
hey guys! soon i may or may not have definitely cried while writing this (thanks to the music) so i really really hope you all enjoy it. but anyways yeahhhh ok bye
word count - 1.1k
warnings - literally the slightest mention of richie’s parents, uhhh a little bit of making out even tho i don’t really count this, mention of (dry) blood. (some of these you might think are stupid but i know i have some ‘weird’ triggers so i like to write down everything i think of)
DISCLAIMER!!! These boys are aged up to ab 17 in this okay? I know this whole “don’t sexualize these boys!!!!” thing is real B U T, if you’ve read the book and seen the movies, you can clearly see there are plenty of sexual innuendos. PLUS, these kids are smoking and drinking and shit so if you think that writing ab sexual things even AFTER aging them up is bad, just move on. Plus, we’re writing about their characters, not about the real boys. ANYWAYS, happy reading :-)
“Umm, hey, Y/N. I hoped I never would have to do this, but here it goes. If you’re getting this, it means things have turned for the worse. I’m leaving this for Garcia to send you only if it looks like I might not survive this. We’re looking for an unsub that is poisoning people with anthrax. I’ve had a vaccine, but if you get this it probably means that the vaccine didn’t work.
“I just wanted to call you to let you know, well, do you remember that night a few weeks ago when we were supposed to meet up for dinner, but I had a case? Instead of pressuring me to go out you showed up at my place with some take out and the Doctor Who box set and we just sat around and talked and watched tv. There was a point in the night when you had just fallen asleep leaning against me and I looked down and I realized that I loved you and I wanted to spend my life with you. I went out and got a ring the next day.
“I just wish I told you how much I loved you, Y/N. You’re amazing: you’re smart, beautiful, and all around perfect and for some reason you choose to be with me. I still don’t know why you do, but if I do get out of this I’m going to make sure to cherish you everyday and tell you in some way that I truly love you. If you do get this message, please don’t blame anybody but me for being reckless when I entered this house. I just wanted to make sure you know how much I love you. If you get this message, you should go into my top drawer at work and you’ll find a ring. Please take it and remember me, but still live your life. I just-I-I love you, Y/N. Alright, Garcia, I’m done.”
Summary: Baekhyun was your first love when you were sixteen. It was passionate, hot, and messy. But all of that ended six years ago, after a four-year battle for your relationship. Now, you’re twenty-six years old and still reeling from the relationship when suddenly, Baekhyun shows up on your doorstep.