i may break down

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Agents of SHIELD Coming Home: chapter 13 Archive of Our Own
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

They enjoy an overdue reunion and talk about the future.

WARNING: first part of the chapter is very NSFW. If that’s not your thing, I recommend skipping to the second POV, where the plot comes back. If it IS your thing, then you are in luck ;)

EXO’s rival is EXO

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The Ultra-Scientific Study of Winchester Wall Slams (& More) – Seasons 1 – 12

aka - A Comparison of (Randomly Chosen) Violence Against Dean and Sam

aka THE MOST IMPORTANT BAR CHARTS I HAVE EVER CREATED

Once upon a time, I just wanted to get a firm count of how many times Dean got slammed into a wall (or  the ground, or other things). @obsessionisaperfume suggested I also track Sam getting choked or getting hit on the head – which was a good suggestion, since those are things that Sam is known for. I eventually decided to track everything for both brothers, and that’s when things got… interesting.

The charts below are the culmination of months of work (which was me watching the show and making ticky marks in a notebook, which I then entered into a spreadsheet). I am attempting to keep my commentary to a minimum, instead allowing all of you draw your own conclusions from the results. (However, there are a few places where I can’t help making a comment because I’m chatty.)

There are several different ways I can present this data, so there is a slight chance that this may be part 1 of 2. 

I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy Dean getting slammed into walls.


We begin with the Wall Slam, which, as many of you know, is my favorite of all types of randomly chosen violence. 

Wall Slam Criteria: A brother must be thrown or pushed into a wall by an outside force (such as a physical shove, telekinesis, etc). For this purpose, a ‘wall’ is defined as a wall or something relatively flat that is resting directly against a wall (such as a mirror or a bookshelf). A bookshelf that is in the middle of the room is not considered a wall, though - those are classified separately, as ‘other.’ Closed doors also count as walls, regardless of whether or not a brother is thrown through the door. (Glass is certainly a popular material for doors. Rich people, man.)

For most of the series, Dean was the reigning Wall Slam champion, clocking 11 straight seasons of winning the non-existent Wall Slam competition. In season 12, however, Dark Horse Dabb certainly made a statement in his first season as show runner: Sam, for the first time in series history, was thrown into more walls than Dean. 

* The reason for the 0.5 slam for Dean is due to a half-wall/half-ground slam that occurred in episode 12x10.


When a wall is not available, the ground will suffice.

Ground Slam Criteria: A brother must be thrown or pushed into the ground by an outside force (such as a physical shove, telekinesis, etc). ‘Ground’ is defined as the ground or a floor.

Despite Sam taking the Wall Slam crown from Dean in season 12, Dean continued his winning record when it comes to the ground. Dean has been slammed into the ground more than Sam, winning 9 seasons to Sam’s 3. 


Other Slam Criteria: A brother must be thrown or pushed into anything other than a wall or the ground by an outside force (such as a physical shove, telekinesis, etc). This is including (but not limited to) fences, people, tables, and piles of trash.

Season 1 is the outlier, being the only season where Sam was thrown into things other than the wall or the ground more times than Dean; Dean has an 11-season streak going since season 2. If there’s a thing, Dean will likely be thrown into it. 


Choked Criteria - A brother must have something (usually hands, but may also be rope or cord) wrapped around their neck or they must have otherwise lost the ability to breathe. This includes when dick angels take away a brother’s lungs, or when a demon pretends they’re Darth Vader and force chokes a brother. 

I am now convinced that the reason Sam has such a reputation for being choked is largely due to the 1st season, where he was choked several times and Dean wasn’t choked at all. Dean has actually been choked more times than Sam throughout the series, winning 7 seasons to Sam’s 5. 


Hit on Head Criteria: A brother must have been hit on the head by an object other than a fist (because if I had tried to keep track of them getting punched in the head I would have run out of paper).

Hit on Head Criteria Exception: I counted a hit to the head by a fist when the fist hit resulted in unconsciousness.

This was especially interesting because there is an apparent pattern with the changes in show runners. Kripke was showrunner from seasons 1-5, where Sam was reigning champion of the head hit until they finally tied in season 5. Seasons 6-7 were run by Gamble, and Sam still reigned supreme. When Carver took over for seasons 8-11, and then Dabb in season 12, Dean was then consistently smacked on the head more than Sam. 


Now let’s add all Wall Slams, Ground Slams, (Other) Slams, Chokings, and Head Hits together. 

There is one firm conclusion I can draw from this: Sam was beaten up more in season 1, and then Dean became the favored punching bag for all show runners. 

I’d like to also present the exact same data with a different visualization:

What are your predictions for season 13?

zayn possibly attending the bbmas and serving looks and possibly accepting an award that he deserves because he deadass is one of the best new artists and he d e a d a s s deserves every form of recognition there is???? hell yes

anonymous asked:

I've never understood why people ship harry x ginny. To me, it's always just been a lazy het-ship tacked on at the last minute. They're also just too alike- it feels like Ginny is just a carbon copy of Harry, but then female, and that that's the only reason they're together. And sometimes, it felt like Ginny was just there to be Harry's girlfriend, in that everything about her character was just so she could make a nice match for him. All in all, I've always found it hard to like them together.

  • have we read the same books, nonnie? i recommend a reread, but, in the meantime, let’s address why i think you’re wrong
  • harry and ginny share a lot of characteristics - both are impulsive, stubborn, witty, courageous, athletic, occasionally reckless; they also come from wildly different backgrounds, have different character arcs - and they battle similar demons, and, at the end of both their personal journeys, yes, stand a warrior. which helps their relationship tremendously. jkr described them as soulmates once, and there’s a reason for that, because they get each other. they know how the other one ticks. may i remind you of ootp, in which harry, as i’m sure you remember, has a tendency to isolate himself from his friends, like he does when he believes voldemort has possessed him? may i remind you it’s ginny, only ginny, who manages to break down the walls he’s built, because she is a) the one person who knows what being possessed felt like and b) not willing to put up with harry’s bullshit? which elegantly leads me to my next point, because that was in ootp, in other words, a long time before harry even started crushing on her?
  • what i’m saying is that these two were friends, really good friends, long before harry fell for her. they had other boyfriends and girlfriends, but they hung out, they got along - we learn later that ginny never gave up on him - ”i always hoped” - and yet she consoles him when things with cho start falling apart, gives him advice, tells him to talk to her. the girl was FOURTEEN and hopelessly in love with a boy who did not like her back, and stood by his side anyway, refused to give up on their friendship, refused to abandon him. i mean. maturity level 1000000
  • the last bullet point was honestly mostly a ginny weasley appreciation rant but damnit i will never get over the strength and resilience and maturity this FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL DISPLAYED I’M IN FUCKING PAIN
  • and for some further evidence for my last two points, take a look at ginny’s reaction when they break up. ginny is not surprised. she is not angry. she is heartbroken, yes, she’s hurting, but she did know this would happen eventually, that harry would leave and risk his neck to hunt voldemort, and she doesn’t try and convince him not to. not because she doesn’t care, but because she knows him too well to try and stop him. she doesn’t tell him to be careful, to stay, to hide. she knows he has to go - not because of the prophecy, but purely because of who harry is. and she gets him. she knows who he is. and harry appreciates that. that’s why they work. that’s why he loves her.
  • now on to the last part of your message, which feels mostly based on the movies if i’m gonna be honest with you. ginny goes through a whole personal journey of her own before harry starts considering dating her. the girl harry falls for in hbp has come a spectacularly long way from the girl he rescued from the chamber of secrets. but she doesn’t need harry for that journey. we see her play quidditch, stand up to her brothers, defend her friends, develop a+++ magical skills, join the d.a., fight at the ministry, have boyfriends, hex people who cross her, grow confidence, and all of that and more she does on her own. she didn’t need harry for that. she wasn’t harry’s girlfriend for that.
  • last but not least, you are free to dislike them. you don’t have to ship them. i’m not telling you to ship them. you don’t need a justification or reason to not ship someone - i know how tumblr gets sometimes, but “i’m just not into it” is a good enough reason. no need for arguments that have been proven faulty a million times - and no need to put them in a hinny shipper’s inbox.

little things i’ve noticed from watching falsettos in hd again:

- firstly, andrew’s tongue makes an appearance in the thrill of first love (he just can’t keep it in his mouth)

- trina looking away in the thrill of first love when whizzer dips marvin

- i have the cookbook in i’m breaking down

- this may be wrong but the tie whizzer is holding in making a home is raunchy and totally not whizzers taste. i personally think it’s marvin’s that he kept as a reminder of his time with him

- marvin starts wearing the red hoodie once whizzer left and doesn’t wear it again once whizzer returns

- marvin desperately looking to cordelia for help when whizzer comes in the baseball game

- the little kisses marvin and whizzer give each other at the end of what more can i say?

- how christian mouths fuck in unlikely lovers when charlotte and cordelia come in

-how they play unlikely lovers for the credits

Under the TAEble

This was originally part of a longer fic but I decided to break it down so there may be a part two for this (If anyone likes it) :)

Word Count: 1.5k

You can find part two here :)

Your breath was knocked out of you as your boyfriend slammed you against the wall.

“Tae-” you gasped, trying to push him off of you, but failing miserably. “Tae, we’re going to be late.”

“Then we’ll be late.” He growled, attacking your neck with his lips. He pushed your legs apart with his thigh and began to pull down the straps of your dress.

“Seriously Tae, the others will be waiting and I’m not getting ready again.” You said, pulling him off of your neck. He placed his hands on the wall, either side of your head and leaned in so his lips were touching your ear.

“I’m warning you Y/N, don’t make me wait.” He grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his bulge. “You’ve done this to me, and you need to fix it.” He growled, pushing your legs further apart. “You can’t wear a dress that tight and not expect me to do something about it.”

His words went straight to your core, but you weren’t going to give in. You looked directly into his dark eyes.

“No, Tae.”

His expression darkened for a moment, but then he smirked.

“Your choice.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm having an awful month. May I ask for a lot of comforting fluff? MC breaking down after a really hard day and RFA comforting MC after a rough day?

Fluff till the end of times! (I’m sorry you had a bad month, hope you’re feeling better by now, honey)

Hope you like this! ^^

RFA comforting MC

Zen

  • Tough day at work
  • Zen knew when things didn’t go as you expected, your frustration was all over your face
  • He plopped beside you in the couch, and you leaned on his chest immediately.
  • He hummed some lullabies, his fingers brushing your shoulder lightly.
  • “Can I do anything for you, babe?” “Can you get me a beer, please?”
  • Oh, okay… yeah, not what he was expecting, but he’d be more than glad to oblige.
  • You two ended up on the rooftop, chilling with the beer.
  • And he listened to all your venting, that was very vivid due to the alcohol.
  • He texted you during your break at your job the next day. “I’m rooting for you, babe! That chilling beer and I will be waiting you to come home <3”
  • Work was incredibly more manageable that day.

Yoosung

  • You had a little fight with your parents
  • Yoosung knew what this was about, you already told him you were meeting them to discuss a few things, he’s so sad to know it didn’t end up well.
  • He’ll do whatever makes you comfortable, whether you want to be alone whether you want to talk.
  • But he’s happy you chose the second option, it makes him feel reliable and mature.
  • “Do you want me to do something? Do you want me to talk to your parents?” you chuckle. “No, just come here and let me stroke your hair.”
  • Okay… though it feels like you’re comforting him, not the other way around, he’s happy to oblige, so he lays his head on your lap and let you do as you wish.
  • And though it’s very relaxing, he’s not sleepy, he’s listening attentively to all your venting. “That really helped me, thank you…”
  • “Don’t mention it. Anything else I can do for you?” “Nah, I’m better now, thanks.”
  • “Are you suuuure?” he asks with a smirk, you sigh “Can you do your omurice for me?” yep, he knew this was coming.
  • So he did the omurice, and wrote “it gets better” with ketchup.

Jaehee

  • College is driving you nuts
  • She gave you some days off the cafe for you to focus on your studies, but you’re still very stressed out.
  • She could make you coffee, but this wouldn’t relax you, much the contraire…
  • So she sits next to you and your pile of books, and takes the one you’re reading from your hands, leading to a glaring protest from you.
  • “Before you say anything, just know you’ve been studying for four hours non-stop now, and I know very well how unhealthy this is. Come on, let’s take a break.”
  • She drags you to the kitchen, and your expression change in the minute you see what’s on the counter: CAKE!
  • “I made it myself. Hope you don’t think this is too sweet…” “There is no such thing as too sweet!” “Well, there is, you could end up in a sugar rush and…”
  • You hug her. Awww, she totally forgot her lecture about the dangers of sugar in excess.
  • So you two sit and eat the delicious cake while you vent a little, but you don’t want to keep talking about it, why not talk about the future? When this cake will be on the cafe menu?
  • “Are you sure it isn’t too sweet?” “I think it’s sweet enough, just like you.” Yep, she’s never getting to that sugar lecture.

Jumin

  • You argued with one of your best friends
  • He doesn’t really know what to say to make you feel better, doesn’t have good advice either.
  • But your gloominess is hurting him, even Elizabeth seems restless, missing her other owner’s patting.
  • And since he doesn’t really know what to say… he needs to find out what he can do.
  • So here he is with Elizabeth, she wants to know what she can do. At least that’s what he says.
  • You giggle imagining if he tried to do a high voice for her, and though he doesn’t know what he did, he’s happy to see you smile.
  • “Unfortunately, Elizabeth, this is a thing only humans can solve. But you can come here while Jumin stroke my hair?” Yep, will do.
  • So you’re laying on your back with Elizabeth on top of your tummy while your head rest in his lap, his fingers in your hair.
  • He listens patiently and attentively to your venting.
  • “Elizabeth thinks you’ll come through and find a solution, since you’re smart and amazing.” “Why doesn’t she tell me that herself?” you tease “Her throat is a little sore, her voice would sound odd for a lady.” You both laugh, but for different reasons, he’s just happy to hear you laughing.

Saeyoung

  • Your family’s dog is sick
  • And judging from how sleep deprived you’re getting because you’re so worried, you’ll end up sick too.
  • There’s nothing much you or him can do but wait. And this waiting is making you very anxious.
  • He’s so worried, it took him all this time to get a normal sleeping schedule, and now it’s your turn to get a messy one.
  • “Hey, why don’t we go for a ride?” he twirls the key of one of his babies in his hand. “I don’t know, what if the hospital calls while we’re on road? I’ll have no service!”
  • “Who said anything about going on road?” he asks with a playful grin. Oh lord, what is he thinking?
  • You go with him because you’re starting to feel curious, you two go inside the car and he proceed to start the car… but he doesn’t.
  • He just turns the radio on.“Saeyoung, what the hell?” “Shhh… that song is my jam! Isn’t it your jam, too, MC?” “Well, yeah, but…” “So let’s sing!”
  • And you two do the cheesiest duets ever, with him always doing the female singer verses and you doing the male ones.
  • After laughing a lot, you sigh. “Ready to talk about it?” he asks, and you nod. This balance between getting goofy and getting serious is one of the best things about him.

In addition to it being one beautiful friend’s bday, it is also the first anniversary of @dazais-guardian-angel and my friendship! Well… sort of. We met before once, but this was the day we reconnected :)

So anyway, happy anniversary!!! I can’t wait to catch up this summer and scream about VnC!

On making retrogrades work for you

When a planet goes into a retrograde period its energy becomes somewhat distorted from its natural expression. Retrograde periods are times in which we have access to a different flavor of the planetary energy, and are able to grasp at it in different ways than normal. This of course means that all of the “normal” ways of utilizing this energy become more difficult, but we are offered a rare chance to delve into pieces of ourselves that are normally off limits.

To see the areas of life affected by this shift of energy you should look to your natal chart. Where in your chart does said planet rule? These houses, as well as the house in which the retrograde occurs are going to be focal points for the shift in planetary energy. 

Let’s take a look at an example:

Mercury Retrograde:

In my natal chart, Mercury rules both the 12th(via Gemini) and 3rd(via Virgo) houses. When Mercury goes retrograde, I have much more desire to seclude myself from others, and focus on the internal, subconscious workings of my mind (12th house). In addition to this, I typically have a hard time reaching out to others and communicating with them. Like pretty much everyone I have the usual disruptions of communication and technology, but for me there is another layer of this. It becomes difficult to properly convey what’s going on in my mind, and I sometimes have to work very hard to word things correctly before I’m comfortable sending messages/responding to people. While this can be common for someone with say a natal retrograde of Mercury, my Mercury is well placed in both Libra and the 3rd House, meaning that typically I have little to no problems with this.

This time around Mercury is retrograding in my 6th House. This means that in addition to my usual issues with MercRx (H12/H3) I will be additionally affected in areas having to deal with this house. This means that communications with coworkers might break down or have issues. I may be forced to re-examine my daily routines and my attitudes toward my physical health and diet. These things will become a focal point for me and I’ll need to think about whether or not there are things in this area of my life that no longer serve me, and therefore should be let go.

So many people see retrograde periods as monstrous periods of time when everything seems to go wrong, but if you can identify where you’ll be affected you can better use the shifted energy to your advantage. 

I know that when Mercury goes retrograde it will be a period of intense self-reflection, and a time in which I am forced to reconnect with myself because I am unable to connect with others. For this reason I take more time for myself than usual, and I don’t force myself to be social if I don’t feel like it. Mercury Retrograde in particular has become a fruitful time for me, as I’m able to reconnect with myself, reevaluate who I am as a person, and the goals that I’ve set for myself. I’m able to take time to intellectualize and examine old habits and skills (H3) and let go of things that are no longer serving me (H12).

Other retrogrades affect us similarly, but outer planets tend to have a much more subtle effect since their transits are longer and slower moving.
I encourage you to look to the houses ruled by retrograding planets and make retrogrades work for you, rather than constantly working against a retrograde.

Personal Planets:
Mercury rules the signs ♊ Gemini and ♍ Virgo and is associated with communication and intellect
Venus rules the signs ♉ Taurus and ♎ Libra and is associated with love and relationships
Mars rules the signs ♈ Aries and ♏ Scorpio(Sub) and is associated with passion, aggression, and vitality

Social Planets:
Jupiter rules the signs ♐ Sagittarius and ♓ Pisces(Co) and is associated with expansion and grace
Saturn rules the signs ♑ Capricorn and ♒ Aquarius(Co) and is associated with restriction and discipline

Transpersonal Planets:
Uranus rules the sign ♒ Aquarius and is associated with change and upheaval
Neptune rules the sign ♓ Pisces and is associated with illusion and spirituality
Pluto rules the sign ♏ Scorpio and is associated with transformation and control

Houses:
The 1st House represents the self, self-image, and body
The 2nd House represents the value system, finances, and security
The 3rd House represents the communicative ability, skills, and learning
The 4th House represents the home, family, and connection to the past
The 5th House represents the creative ability, amusement, romance, and children
The 6th House represents health, routines, and analytical ability
The 7th House represents one-to-one relationships, the law, and marriage
The 8th House represents collective finances, depth relationships, and the transformative ability
The 9th House represents travel, higher education, philosophy, and religion
The 10th House represents career, public persona, and aspirations
The 11th House represents social networks, dreams, and rewards
The 12th House represents isolation, the subconscious, spirituality, and undoing

3

Gifs: x | x

So I got this idea due to an conversation with @starshiphufflebadger and my own experience in the zoo. I’d totally would have climbed into the enclosure of the red pandas if it wasn’t illegal.


„You’re so fluffy! I want to cuddle you!“

„You said that to almost every animal we saw Y/N. Stop talking and get going, I’d like to actually get through the Zoo today and not spend the night here“, the CMO grumbles and pushes you softly through the mass of people to the next cage.

„The rise of pitch and the extra grumpiness in your voice leads me to the assumption that you seem to be rather jealous of those animals Ensign Y/L/N seems to find so fascinating and fluffy“, Spock states while staring blankly and seemingly uninterested into the next cage, trying to find the animal that hides in there.

“Yeah Bones, jealous that you’re not the one getting cuddled?”, the captain adds from somewhere behind you guys.

“Absolutely not! First of all: None of them are getting cuddled, because if they were, we’d have a bigger problem, namely trying to tear Y/N of those poor bastards. And, for your information, I can get cuddled as much as I want!”

“So not getting cuddled is a problem for you doctor?” Sulu suddenly appears with an arm around Chekov and popcorn in his hand.

“May I also add that breaking down in tears in Christine’s lap and demanding to be petted is not really a synonym for getting cuddled, it’s more a synonym for being annoying?”, Nyota points out as she appears behind Spock and puts an arm around his waist.

“When exactly did this turn into a round of: Annoy the doctor as much as you can?!”

“When you made fun of me wanting to pet these lovely animals. Oh my god! They’re so fluf-”, you start to cry out, as Chekov points to the little red panda babies that were hiding in the trees.

“Don’t you dare Y/N.” The doctor shoots you a deadly glare.

“-fy! I want to cuddle them!”

While the doctor raises his hands in desperation and groans the rest of the crew laughs.

“You know what?”, Leonard says as he holds you back and waits for the others to pass you. “Let’s make a deal. If you make it through the rest of the zoo without stopping too long by each cage I’ll buy you a stuffed animal of your choice at the end of the day in one of the shops, that you’ll be allowed to cuddle as much as you want on the ship.”

“Deal!”, you grin and shake his hand. “But really Len, if you want to be cuddled, you don’t need to get angry or jealous first! Just say something!”

And with a cheeky grin and wink you follow the others through the zoo, letting a blushing doctor behind, thinking about what kind of animal you’ll let him buy for you.

Distress Tolerance Skills: the TIP skill

The second Distress Tolerance Skill I’m going to cover is called TIP.  TIP is an incredibly useful skill for changing your emotional state very quickly.  It’s one of my favourite skills because of how effective it is for the job it’s intended to do.

When you’re in a crisis or an extremely emotionally distressing situation, people who have BPD end up entering a state of mind called “Emotion Mind”. Emotion Mind is a mental state where you are controlled by your emotions and your decision-making is dependent on your emotions and your need to satisfy you urges. Sometimes in extreme cases, the level of emotional distress you experience can cause you ability to use skills to break down.  Since TIP is so easy, it can be used to help you recover your ability to use other skills and tolerate distress that would otherwise be intolerable. 

TIP is a skill that can calm you down quickly enough that you can then pair this skill with another Distress Tolerance Skill to be able to exit the state of Emotion Mind and enter the state of Wise Mind instead.  It’s an incredibly useful skill all on its own, and when paired with other skills it becomes even better.

TIP means:

  • T stands for Tip your body temperature:  The goal here is to use cold temperatures to flip your “dive reflex” or “dive response” which will slow your heart-rate down and generally make you feel “zen.”  This effectively lowers the intensity of high-energy emotions like anger and rage and fear.  The core of the skill is cooling your face, primarily your temples, for 30 seconds while holding your breath.  There are 3 main ways to do this:
  1. Fill up a basin with cold water, hold your breath, and then dunk your face in the cold water for 30 seconds. It’s important that your temples are submerged.  The water can be just regular cold tap water, and shouldn’t be any colder than 10 degrees Celsius (but seriously who is going to stick a thermometer into their water to check how cold it is when they’re in a serious amount of distress? No one)
  2. Cover your forehead and temples with an ice-pack, though you might not be able to endure 30 seconds of something that cold.  Be careful not to give yourself a brain freeze! Again, make sure you hold your breath while you do this.
  3. Rub an ice cube on your face, going under your eyes, over your temple, across your forehead, down your other temple, and under your other eye, and then follow the same path in reverse.  Again, do this for 30 seconds while holding your breath.  Holding your breath while doing this is very important or it won’t work properly.
  • I stands for Intense Exercise: this is good for both high-energy emotions like anger and fear, but also for low-energy emotions like sadness.  When you’re feeling a high-energy emotion, doing intense exercise raises your heart-rate but quickly tires you out so that you don’t have the energy to feel so intensely mad or scared.  Conversely, if you were experiencing a low-energy emotion and then used Intense Exercise to change your emotional state, your increased heart-rate will cause you to feel invigorated and momentarily snap out of the depressed feeling that results from intense sadness or lethargy.
  • P stands for three things Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation.  
  1. Paced Breathing: What you do is you place a hand on your belly and inhale so that your belly fills up like a balloon (diaphragm breathing).  You breathe in to a count of four (doesn’t have to be four seconds, it can be longer depending on the rhythm at which you breathe), you hold your breath at the very top of your inhale for a couple seconds, and then you exhale for as long as you can (more than 4 counts).  This will regulate your breathing and calm you down.  Even though this works rather quickly, don’t get to focused on wanting it to work fast because you might end up speeding up the rhythm of your breath, which would render the skill ineffective.  Paced Breathing works so well because when you’re focusing on your breathing, you’re not focusing on the problem.  It’s also very discreet.
  2. Paired Muscle Relaxation: Paired Muscle Relaxation is doing Paced Breathing while doing elements of Progressive Muscle Relaxation.  You do the breathing regulation of Paced Breathing while clenching all your muscles on the inhale as tightly as you can, and then during the pause at the top say “Relax” and then, on the exhale, release all your tensed muscles.   This is really relaxing if you do it right, because again, when you’re focusing on your breathing, you’re not focusing on the problem.
  3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Progressive Muscle Relaxation means tensing your muscles in groups, starting from your feet and working your way up your body to your head and your face.  For each group of muscles, you tense them as tightly as you can, and then you release them.  Then you move on to the next set of muscles and do the process again.  You continue doing this all the way up your body. Then at the end, I like to finish it off by tensing my whole body very tightly, say “Relax” in my mind or out loud, and then release the tension.  This really helps on emotions like anger or anxiety which cause tenseness naturally.

It’s important to note that TIP is not a set of steps (i.e. you don’t do the T and then the I and then the P).  You choose one of these options as the method you’re going to use to calm yourself down. If that method doesn’t work, you can try another option from the list, but be careful not to do some of them too close together (particularly if one of the one’s you’ve tried is the I)–basically you want to be safe when you’re doing this, you don’t want to elevate or lower your heart-rate to a dangerous level.

If you want to calm down as fast as possible, the T or the P would be the most effective, with the T being the fastest to work.  The T is my go-to skill when I have a crisis at home, or if I’m in an environment where I have the access to ice or the ability to fill a sink. The I is good for getting a little more distance from a crisis situation, though it can be hard to find an opportunity to use it when you’re in a crisis.  For example, there have been times where I’ve been having an argument with my parents, I’ve told them that I need a break, and then I put on my gear and go for a run.  But when I have a breakdown when I’m out of the house and don’t have the ability to start exercising intensely, using the I is not an option but using one of the P’s would be. Both of the P’s are really good if you need to calm down quickly but discreetly.

TIP is a good skill to use after you’ve had to use STOP because TIP doesn’t require you to do much thinking, so if you’re skills have reached the point where they’re breaking down because of the amount of stress you’re under and how upset you are as a result and therefore no longer have the capacity to do anything complicated or complex, TIP is still something that is usually going to be within your capacity to do, precisely because the T and the P especially are simple processes that don’t require you to do much thinking or processing.  The I can also be easy to do when your skills are breaking down (like my example of going for a run), but if your skills are breaking down that badly, the I may not be a safe thing to do.  It’ll be hard to use your good judgement (which comes from your Wise Mind) when you’re in a skills breakdown scenario, so my general rule is to not use the I if my ability to process information is severely compromised during a skills breakdown.

TIP enables you to become calm enough that sometimes you can leave your Emotion Mind and can then access your Wise Mind, which is a state of mind where both emotions/values and reason/logic have equal importance. (Sometimes you can’t leave Emotion Mind and enter Wise Mind until you’ve used additional skills.) From there, you can use other Distress Tolerance Skills (like Distract using Wise Mind ACCEPTS, Self-Soothe, and IMPROVE the Moment) to regain your ability to tolerate distress and lower your vulnerability to distress, which will then give you the capacity to use problem solving skills (including Emotion Regulation Skills and Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills) to address and resolve the crisis, or you can use Radical Acceptance to accept a crisis that you do not have the power to change.

As my DBT Group leader calls it, TIP is the “big red hammer” of Distress Tolerance Skills because it so effectively and quickly breaks down the distress that we feel during a crisis.  Of course, you can also use TIP when you’re not in a “crisis” but are still experiencing extreme emotional distress.  I would suggest practicing the T when you’re not in crisis mode so that you become familiar with what engaging your “dive reflex” feels like.  It’s an odd sensation and I don’t want you to be alarmed by it if you’ve never experienced it before.

Further Reading: Intro to Distress Tolerance (What is a Crisis, When to Use Distress Tolerance Skills, and the Goals of Distress Tolerance), The STOP Skill, What Is Radical Acceptance, How to Practice Radical Acceptance, Emotion Mind and Wise Mind

TL;DR: TIP is a very useful Distress Tolerance Skill for calming yourself down very quickly, and often discreetly.  TIP stands for: 1) Tip your body Temperature, 2) Intense Exercise, and 3) Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation, or Progressive Muscle Relaxation. 

TIP is a skill that is easy to use even when you are in a state of extreme distress and you’re experiencing a cognitive and skills breakdown, because TIP doesn’t require much thinking.  It can be paired with a number of other Distress Tolerance Skills to make it more effective and help you to leave Emotion Mind and enter your Wise Mind so that you can resolve the problem that caused you the distress that you needed to use TIP to cope with.

-Pandora

Reveling in Richonne

#9: The “I’m Still With You” (5x16)

Now as much as I missed the signs that Richonne was endgame, this was one scene that even I could not deny. I mean the chemistry was oozing and I could not just place this in the “just friends” box. No, this was more. I love this scene. I loved it when it first aired and I love it to this day. The fact that Rick essentially admits to being whipped. You can’t miss that. 

Michonne enters the bedroom and says “you ready?” Interestingly, she asked him that very thing before entering ASZ’s gates and now she’s asking again to see if he’s ready to try and stay. I love that she’s checking in on him and unafraid to associate with him and see him for who he is despite him being ASZ’s Public Enemy Number One rn. He immediately gives her the full on detailed scoop about what he’s been up to. It’s adorable and hilarious that all she said is “you ready?” and then he just has to spill his guts and confess. Like he tells her about every little thing in that moment cuz he needs them to clear the air for his own sanity, after all, she’s pretty much his sanity. 

I love that he’s a little uncertain if she’s still upset with him from their previous conversation and that it just doesn’t sit well with him to be at odds with her so he has to make it right. It’s interesting that he says “We lied to you…” Like first, it’s very mature to own up to it that way and not try to spin it to make it sound better. But also there’s other members of TF who were left out of the loop and yet, as Rick was scheming, the one person he felt he was betraying was Michonne. Since they’re soul mates, going against her is going against himself, thus the guilt. 

He says he wasn’t sure how she’d take it or what she’d do. Now this is curious. I wonder what he thought she might do? Part of me feels like he had to fear she would be disappointed in him and distance herself and he couldn’t handle that so he’d rather make himself crazy trying to keep up appearances for her. I’m so glad they have this heart to heart in the finale so they can realize they never have to keep up appearances for each other again and they can be fully honest with one another. 

I think Michonne is surprised that Rick thinks she’d try and stop him when she asks. Like I think she was hoping he’d know by now that she fully supports him even if they don’t always agree. But I honestly don’t think it’s that he thought she’d try to stop him, it’s that if she so much as sighed to imply what he was doing made her unhappy he would stop doing it effective immediately. I love that Michonne is adamant that Rick understand she knocked him out for his sake not anyone else’s. I think hearing her confidently say “That was for you. Not them.” wakes him up to realize she’s on his team always. 

And then he just lays it all out and confirms that he didn’t tell her about the guns because he was afraid she’d talk him out of it, cuz she could’ve. That’s a lot of control to give someone, especially for an alpha male like Rick. He also has to be very aware of the specialness of Michonne to him for him to admit this. Like he both subconsciously and knowingly values Michonne and her thoughts and feelings. Basically, Rick knows he ain’t dealing with no average chick. 👸🏾

But after Rick sweetly confesses that Michonne basically holds his heart in her hands, Michonne gives one of the best little speeches of the series. Round of applause for Danai cuz she can slay these mini monologues. She starts by reiterating they don’t need their weapons here and she connects to him by making it personal and saying “I don’t need my sword.” Like if you think about that sentence, it’s kind of crazy. 

I’m sure Michonne was not a person pre-ZA who thought she’d ever have to use a sword, let alone become a master at using one. Her wanting ASZ to work and not be violent is her wanting some semblance of normal and safety back, like we’d all want in her situation. She doesn’t want to have to be the sword wielding warrior all the time if she doesn’t have to be and she wants Rick to see that Rick doesn’t have to be “bite yo neck out” Rick all the time if he doesn’t want to be. 

Now let me write out this little portion of what she says next because it’s just beautiful. She tells him; 

 "I think you can find a way. We can find a way. And if we don’t…I’m still with you.“ 

I love that she so eloquently spells it out for him that, honey, she is ride or die. May I break this down? I love that she first voices her belief in him as a man and leader by saying she thinks he can find a way. But then she reminds him he’s not expected to find a way alone by saying we can find a way. And then she says “and if we don’t” because Michonne is not naive. Optimistic, but not naive. She knows stuff can go down and she says “if we don't” cuz they are a unit and so it’s not just up to Rick to figure it out if things go south. It’s so important that Rick hears this and know that Michonne might be hopeful but she’s also ready at any minute to take care of business, so he really doesn’t have to put on a front for her. She sees pros and cons cuz she’s just well rounded like that. Again, 👸🏾. 

And the “I’m still with you” 😍😍😍 Such a great line. I love that she acknowledges the deep bond and partnership they’ve built by telling him that she is with him regardless. By saying “I’m still with you” she’s reminding him that she’s never left. She’s been with him and she has every intention to stay with him through thick and thin. I love that it’s so clear these words mean the world to Rick and he is getting his life in this moment. 

This scene also has a quote from Michonne that resonated with me from the moment I heard it. It’s the last part of her speech to Rick when she says “Something’s gonna happen. Just don’t make something happen.” Those are wise words to live by. Like sometimes we can have the “Raven Baxter” effect (yes, this is a That’s So Raven reference because my TV taste is so versatile 😂 ) but the effect is where you’re so sure you can see something’s going to happen that you essentially will it to happen. It’s such a smart approach to instead think “Something is going to happen, that’s the way life is, but I’m not going to over think or overreact thus forcing something to happen.” Michonne gave us a life lesson right there lol. 

They are so up close and personal as they talk in this scene and the lighting is on point too. And then Michonne softly pushing his gun away and saying “don’t be too long” like the queen and wife she is. Rick deserves a woman who will love and support him and be with him no matter what. He didn’t have that before and I think that he realized in this scene that she was that to him but now it was just a matter of overcoming the PTSD to truly act on this realization.

I missed a lot of their elevator looks but the way that Rick looks at Michonne in this scene. A1👌🏽 It makes sense that a lot of people thought they might kiss. Like looking back now, those two had to end up together. I don’t know a woman or man who could come along and get in a relationship with them and not start to feel insecure about the way those two look at each other and interact. If they were with anyone else, that other person would so clearly sense that their heart belonged to someone else. Like it’s crazy that a scene as intimate and romantic as this was taking place between R&M during the dumb Jessie arc that I couldn’t stand. But I won’t talk too much about that because like so many of you…

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

And in this scene, neither did Rick :). This iconic “I’m still with you” scene was special in every way and it was a verbal declaration of their love for each other. For her to look him in his eyes and tell him even if everything falls apart “I’m still with you.” This moment is everything! And it was proof that love “conquers” all (I think all TWD episode titles are about Richonne lol)

I really want “I love you” to be said between R&M at some point in the series, even though they’ve said it countless times in their actions, but if we never get verbal “I love you’s” then this scene will certainly suffice because this was both of their subconsciouses saying those three special words.

Originally posted by beckybadlasslynch

Panic

Requested by anon

Request: Could you do a Sebastian imagine where he calms the reader down from a panic attack? Nothing romantic, just sweetness which surprises the reader hehe

Word Count: 421

Sebastian x reader

~

When I joined New Directions, I didn’t tell anyone of my history of anxiety and panic attacks. I figured if I had told anyone, they would never let me out of their sight and they would be very overprotective; I always thought that it would worry everyone, when they all had bigger things to worry about.

When I told my parents that I joined New Directions, they looked at me like I was insane considering most of my panic attacks occur during public speeches or performances.

I went almost all of the competitions without having an attack. I felt anxious at times but I had gone so long without having a panic attack, I felt really good.

But here I was, standing backstage at regionals. I had been feeling anxious since we entered the building.

Sweat started to form along my hairline, my chest grew tight and my breathing grew short. I looked up and saw that all of New Directions was paying attention to the glee club that was performing. I snuck away from the group so that I could find an exit.

Once I was outside I sat down against a wall. I placed my face in my hands and tried to regain my breath.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” I heard someone ask.

I looked up and saw Sebastian staring at me with a look of concern.

“Panic… Attack…” I squeaked between short breaths. Sebastian sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. He pulled my head up.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll stay with you.” Sebastian promised, closing his eyes as he whispered to me.

I looked up at Sebastian who still had his eyes closed. My breathing started to even out as Sebastian still held me close. The silence lasted for a few more minutes.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked, breaking the silence.

Sebastian looked down at me. “I may not act like it, but I do have a heart. I would never not stop to help a girl who’s having a panic attack. Plus, you’re a lot more tolerable than the rest of New Directions.”

I looked up at Sebastian and smiled. “Well thank you for being a little concerned about me and my well being.” We both laughed.

Sebastian stood up and pulled me up with him. He extended his hand. “May the best glee club win, which will be the Warblers.” I shook his hand and gave him a sly smile.

“There’s the Sebastian I know.”

~

To the anon that requested this, I’m sorry that it took so long :)

ADHD Tip #7

When scheduling long term projects, break work down into time sections instead of goals. (ie “I will work for one hour” instead of “I will finish 3 pages of my paper ”). Breaking things down into time sections makes them less overwhelming and easier to start because you know exactly what is expected of you. It a lot easier to say,” I will concentrate for 45 minutes today” instead of “I will finish my poster today which could take me anywhere from 5 minutes to 3 hours.”  Even people with ADHD can have a perfectionist streak and sometimes this lead us to think “Well I’m not going to be able to finish it so I may as well not start it at all.” Breaking things down into time sections prevents this and you may even be surprised with how much work you can accomplish in a few hours.