For @snowbaz-feda day 24. Do I come up with all my ideas for fics by taking a random meme and turning it into a spell? Absolutely.
It’s fine. This is absolutely fine. No big deal.
It’s just a crush. A stupid, meaningless crush, and it’s just because he’s attractive, it’s not like I have real feelings for him (not really, well, I do think about him a lot, don’t I?) and it’s not like I actually want to be with him or anything (but only because I know it’s impossible) and besides, Baz never has to know.
I’m going to write him a note. Like a little schoolboy with a crush. I’m not going to sign it – obviously – I just want to say something to him. I know that he’s cold and distant and will probably sneer at my note and make fun of the sender, but it makes me wonder why he’s like that. Why he can’t express any emotion other than sadistic amusement (and I know he feels other things, because he cares about his family, and he gets angry at me. You don’t get angry if you don’t care.).
I guess I just need him to know that he is loved.
(I mean. I don’t love him. Obviously. It’s just a crush.)
I ask Penny for a spell to disguise my handwriting. She gives me a knowing look (I haven’t told her anything but she’s my best friend and she’s too smart not to know) and casts it on me. Quickly, before the spell wears off, I grab a spare piece of paper and write:
I think about kissing you all the time.
I fold the note in half and stuff it in my pocket.
I know it’s dumb. I just wanted to be able to tell him that. Even though he’ll never know it was me.