Posting that picture of me as a fat geek had a positive effect on me. There were years when I couldn’t look at pictures from my youth. I just hated myself so much, thought I was so goddamn hideous and weak.
Which is so awful…Because when I see chubby little girls now, they melt my heart.
I had to make that picture public and look at it every time I opened Tumblr. My Tumblr friends helped me to laugh at it, see the genuine delight a big-haired fat chick (/a fat-haired big chick) from the 1980s could inspire.
Gradually my heart softened toward that little fatty. I forgave her for being such a societal reject. I forgave her for doing everything wrong.
And now I want to do the same for my 47 year old face. Because it’s hard, looking in the mirror and realizing that your smooth, taut, glowing skin is gone, that you frittered it away, berating yourself for being fat, inadequate slob the whole time. (Old habits…)
If I can just believe that I am beautiful – real beauty, not the supermodel kind – Oh, man. It would be the first time, ever, I’d manage to do it in real time..
I want to love these sags and wrinkles. I want to radiate self-acceptance and wisdom and comforting, old Victorian house vibes.
trying desperately to get out of this bad art block so this this didn’t come out how i really wanted it to, but i keep seeing Kim Possible aus everywhere and this video is a godsent blessing so guess what i had to do
I know things are terrible right now but take a look at my cat. She’s fine. She’s content. She doesn’t even know what a President is. All she’s worried about is when I’ll give her breakfast and whether the bed or the sofa is the better sleeping option. No matter what happens all is well in the world of my cat. Even if the world goes to hell, she is happy.