i make myself cry a lot

My Rich American Family

by reddit user aliceinvunderland

I am part of a rich American family, in a rich American suburb, full of rich American people.

Life is hell.

Every morning, me and the rest of the Wives get up at 5:00am sharp. Fifteen minutes of jogging around the neighborhood, five minutes in the shower (set to cold), twenty minutes for hair and makeup, and then five to get dressed. If we’ve managed that in time, meaning no later than 5:45am, we might be allowed solid food with our coffee.

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As an INFP I...

-procrastinate 24/7
-never sleep when I should
-cry too much about small things
-automatically take things personally
-say the worst puns
-never read or follow instructions
-always lose track of time
-am never sure of anything
-forget all practical information
-always get lost irl and in my thoughts
-never know anything for sure
-am super clumsy
-worry too much about tiny disagreements
-talk to myself, a lot
-sing songs about everything
-am an emotional rollercoaster
-make things awkward

youtube

I’ve heard Skam being compared to the UK series Skins a lot, and while usually Skam is referred to as a better quality version of Skins, one thing I think Skins got right that I hope Skam does as well is, at the end of the series, giving all its actors their “curtain calls”. Just in case they don’t, I decided to make one myself. This video is sort of how I imagine/hope the very last moments of the series look like.

i fucking love the adventure zone because sometimes it’s like…absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful story-telling or on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrills 

and then sometimes it’s justin, travis, and their dad chanting “FANTASY SHORTS. FANTASY SHORTS. FANTASY SHORTS” at poor griffin who’s trying to move the plot forward 

XD

relatable Dennis Reynolds moments
  • unironically listening to Rick Astley because he genuinely enjoys it.
  • “talking to myself, but that’s just cause I got shit to say, you know?”
  • “I can’t believe they didn’t include me in their suicide pact.”
  • his overuse of the word “goddamn.”
  • defending evolution and science from Mac without fully understanding the concept himself.
  • staring into a camera for 2 hours.
  • “you remember feelings?”
  • studying psychology at college but then just opening a bar.
  • carrying around part of an onion so he can make himself cry if need be.

They’re saps

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

Why are You like this?

Hi friends! 

Plot: Y/N feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to let her Harry know.

I combined my own idea with a request about H hearing Y/N admit something over the phone. 

Hint before reading: Take a moment and think of that one thing that’s overwhelming you right in this moment, the one thing that makes your stomach feel sick and the one thing that keeps you up at night. Okay now you can read it.

Pic isn’t mine but I like to think that it is.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” 

My throat dried when I allowed my eyes to meet with his sparkling green orbs and the pure worry in them made it difficult not to tear up. With a deep breath I forced myself to smile. 

“Everything is fine, Harry,” I promised him, my tone just sweet enough for it to cover up the lie, “It was a long day.”

“Again?” Harry inquired quietly. 

“Again.” I tried to laugh but got up to walk to the kitchen when I failed.

Ever since the beginning of this week there had been a heavy and uncomfortable feeling settled at the bottom of my stomach making me feel so sick at times I believed I would vomit. 
But I couldn’t let it show. 

“Do you want some tea?” I called towards him.

“Sure, yeah. Thanks, beautiful.”

With trembling fingers I reached for the kettle and I closed my eyes in hopes of calming down enough to keep my distraught emotions a secret. And what better than a hot cup of tea?
There was nothing I loved more than spending time with Harry and if I could I would have him near me at all times. I felt myself long for him when he was gone, fantasized about being in his presence when I wasn’t and when I had him I felt at peace. Momentarily. Harry made me feel warm and without knowing it he’d become the only person who managed to decorate my face with an honest smile. We hadn’t been dating for long, only a couple of months, and it was true that we were happy. Never before had I felt this close to another person, never before did I trust somebody with my whole heart and no one had ever understood me the way that Harry did.
Harry was my everything. 
And still I couldn’t find it in me to trust him with my worried mind. 

It wasn’t that I thought Harry wouldn’t be kind. I knew if I were to tell him that I couldn’t find any peace and that not even the nights provided me with rest, he would try all he could to be supportive. 
What held me back from confiding in him was how utterly ridiculous I felt. Harry had so much going on in his life, he was under constant pressure and given even more from all sides and all at once and still he never uttered as much as one word in complaint. 
Me? I felt like crying when dealing with what was so minor compared to other people’s problems. 
How could I possibly admit this without making a fool of myself?

“Y/N?” I heard Harry’s voice call for me. 

My breath hitched and I quickly finished both of our teas. “Coming!”

Hearing my friend’s voice over the speaker of my phone relaxed me. At least a little. Kat hadn’t had the time to talk properly in a while due to her job taking up a lot of space in her life and selfishly it felt good to hear that I wasn’t the only person who wasn’t having the best week. 

“So anyway,” Kat spoke, “Things took a turn to the better when the guy I told you about showed up again. I think he recovered form the flu or something.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

She chuckled. “I bet your day gets better the moment you have Harry around to comfort you.” 

“Well,” I sighed, “Having him around does bring me joy.” 

When my voice quivered I knew I messed up.

Kat cleared her throat. “What’s the matter? Does he not understand or what?”

“I’m sure he would,” I muttered. 

“Meaning?”

I didn’t reply. Kat laughed breathlessly. 

“You seriously didn’t tell him? Y/N, he’s your boyfriend! And if I receive text after text about how shitty everything is going for you then something really must be up.”

A lump formed in my throat and I let out a small whine. “I don’t know how to talk to him about this thought.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged even though she couldn’t see. “Harry has so much going on in his life. Never does he get a break not even on his days off. How could I burden him with my stupid and silly problems when his mind is full of much more important things?”

“Because he’s your boyfriend!” Kat repeated. 

“Is that your answer to everything?”

“In a relationship it’s about being there for each other,” Kat lectured, ignoring my words, “You support him constantly. It’s time you let him do the same for you.”

My head snapped up at the noise of my front door opening and then falling shut. 

“Y/N? You home, baby?” My heart fluttered at his voice.

“That’s Harry,” I quickly informed Kat, “I got to go.”

With fast steps I walked further into the bedroom and away from where I could hear Harry moving closer towards me.

“Of course,” Kat said and I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just remember. You have to be honest with Harry and tell him how you feel. Otherwise you’re being unfair to him.”

“I know,” I agreed lowly, “I know you’re right.”

Harry’s knuckles lightly knocked onto the wooden door and I turned around to look at him with a smile growing on my face. He looked insanely good. His hair was tousled from the clod wind I knew was tormenting outside, his upper body adorned a thick jumper and his legs were forced into much too tight jeans which to my benefit left little to the imagination. 

“Hey,” I breathed.

“Hi.” His voice was quiet and I shuddered when the smile on his face didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. 

I walked over to him and reached for his arm. “I’m just going to finish this call really quickly, okay? Then I’m all yours.”

“S’okay,” Harry said and shrugged off my touch, “I just came over to return the shirt you left at my place the other day. M’actually bit busy so I’m just going to head out again.”

My heart sank. “I thought you would stay tonight?” 

Harry nodded towards the phone in my palm. “You should’t let your friend wait, Y/N. Wouldn’t want you to be unfair to anybody, right?” 

And with that he turned around, out of my reach and towards the exit. The shirt he’d brought me was carelessly thrown onto the mattress and I watched him leave with tears already burning my eyes. What the hell had just happened?

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Kat’s voice ripped me back from my thoughts and I quickly told her that I was fine and needed to go. Then I hung up. 
Great. Now not even my relationship was something I could find comfort in. There was no point in running after him as I new Harry moved fast and since he’d arrived by car I was sure he must be long gone. With my palms ice cold, my legs weak and my stomach in knots I sat down on the bed I’d thought I would be spending the night with Harry on, feeling the most uncomfortable and unhappy and in in general at a low I hadn’t reached before.
There was no way I could hold back the tears from burning my cheeks and soon I was a sobbing mess, laying alone on the cold fabric of my bed.

From Harry, 7:20pm.
I’m sorry I left like that, love. How about I come back over and we spend the night together like we planned? x

From Harry, 7:22pm. 
Don’t ignore me now. I know I was being harsh. A bit of a dick actually and I wanna make up for that. Please let me, baby. xx

From Harry, 7:23pm. 
I heard your conversation with Kat. 

With puffy eyes I stared at the three messages. I breathed in shakily and shook my head before picking up the device to reply. There was no way I could face him when I was like this. I felt ashamed enough as it is and couldn’t bear the thought of letting my boyfriend see me in this weakened state.

From Y/N, 7:30pm.
It’s okay, Harry, no worries. I’m a bit tired though. Don’t think that hanging out tonight is a good idea. I’m sorry. x

From Y/N, 7:33pm.
If you want we could meet up tomorrow?

Teardrops smeared the screen and I brushed them off quickly in order to read Harry’s reply. My heart sank even further upon reading it.

From Harry, 7:34pm.
If that’s what you want.

It was what I’d wanted. Still, my chest crumbled and the room filled once more with desperate and loud cries as I let it sink in that I’d successfully driven Harry away. A shaking palm clasped over my mouth as I attempted to somehow quieten the noises of my breakdown as I didn’t want to alarm my neighbours. 
What was I supposed to do? What was I to tell him tomorrow? That was if he even wanted to see me.
My eyes were sore, my throat dry and slowly but surely everything began to hurt. Really ache. 

My entire body froze and I forced myself to calm down long enough to make sure I hadn’t heard wrong. No. There was once again the distinct sound of somebody knocking on my front door. Oh god please no. I scrambled to my feet with hurried movements and came to a tumbling stand. With harsh movements I brushed the tears from my smeared cheeks. 

“Y/N.” It was quiet but I heard and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest. What was he doing here?

“Harry?” I asked, my voice small and trembling weakly. 

I sniffled noisily and tried to steady my breath. 

“Course it’s me, love,” Harry hummed, his voice gentle, “Mind opening the door for me? Letting me in, sweetheart?”

“Harry, I really don’t think-”

“I hear it, baby,” he spoke softly, “You’re crying.” His voice sounded so sad, so empty of the anger it held earlier. 

The pet names spoken with so much affection, the gentleness in his words and tone… I couldn’t fight any longer. 
With uncertain fingers I unlocked my front door and before I could turn the handle I had Harry’s arms wrapped around my waist as he forced his way into my apartment. 
Breathing in his scent as I nestled my face into the warm space between his shoulder and his neck, one of my hands wound itself into his short curls while the other clasped the back of his neck. Harry’s arms tightened around my body, bringing me impossibly close to his chest as he pushed the both of us further inside. I didn’t see but I heard him shut the door with his foot. 

“Harry,” I whimpered, trying desperately to step away from him, worried that the endless stream of tears would mess up his jumper. 

“No.” Harry’s embrace was tight. He ignored my protest and instead hoisted me up higher so that he could carry me to the couch in my small living room. 

I was full on sobbing by this point, my desperation only increasing when he let go of me after making me sit on the couch. My arms were taken into his hands and I turned my head away when he crouched down. 

“Y/N, look at me.”

I shook my head, a whimper escaping my parted lips. Harry’s hands moved gently, his fingers drew circles onto my skin. Normally the gesture was enough to calm me down but not today. I felt utterly embarrassed and I knew that Harry slowly began to realize too that this wasn’t just a small and simple break down. 
This was me, crumbling after having suffered under too much pressure for too long. This was me truly breaking down and falling apart right in front of his eyes.
I gasped upon feeling him press his face into my open palms. 

“My sweet girl,” Harry breathed into my hands, “Tell me if there is something that I can do for you, you hear?”

“There- there’s no-nothing, Harry.” I swallowed shakily and stared at the back of his head. 

Slowly he looked up at me, green eyes wide, kind and patient. His warm hands clasped mine and my breath hitched when his heart shaped lips pressed a loving kiss to them. 

“That’s okay, too,” he reassured, “In that case I will just do what I think you need right now, yeah? And if you want something different you tell me.” 

He waited for me to nod, a small smile gracing his lips. Harry got to his feet quickly and immediately I was scooped back into his arms and brought to his chest. I hiccuped and Harry chuckled. 
His body settled onto the couch and I gasped when he placed my own body right on top of his, my back pressed to his chest. His face settled into my neck and I shuddered upon feeling his warm breath. One of Harry’s arms wrapped around my middle while he gently touched my forehead with his other hand, making me rest my head on his shoulder. 
I sighed and turned so I could nudge his neck with my nose. Next a blanket was pulled over my form, making sure that I was warm. 

“Harry,” I whispered into his skin. 

He intertwined our legs together before kissing my cheek. 

“No more crying,” he said lowly, chest rumbling against my back, “It breaks my heart to see you like this. Which doesn’t mean that I want you to ever keep it from me again when you feel this way.”

The terrible knot at the bottom of my stomach loosened and the longer I breathed him in the more I could feel my heart relax. My breathing slowed, the tears slowly ceased from falling. My own arms wrapped around his and our hands found each other. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized against his skin.

He shook his head and squeezed me. “No, no, my love. S’not what I want. You don’t have to apologize for anything. All I want is that you trust me. That you know that I’m here. Always.”

“I want to see you.” 

Careful not to hurt him I turned to lay on my stomach, my body pressed tightly against his chest and I leaned up to press a kiss to his soft skin of his chin. 
Harry groaned lowly at the sensation. 

“You’re my girlfriend,” Harry murmured, his hands rubbing up and down my back, “You can lean on me. Confide in me. Don’t want hear that you’re unwell and hiding it.”

I hummed.

“Are you comfortable?” I wondered quietly, referring to his position.

“Very,” he assured me with a nod, cheekily grabbing my bum and giving it a squeeze. 

I swatted his chest with a laugh and he removed his hands and settled them onto my hips instead. I found it hard to believe that having my body sprawled out on top of his was in any way comfortable but in this moment I knew there was nothing other than being in his arms that would heal my tormented mind.

“S’embarrassing though,” I admitted quietly, my unsure eyes finding his. 

“S’not,” he argued, “S’part of being in a relationship. I’m yours, you’re mine and we’re both there for each other.”

I liked how natural his words sounded. How much sense they made.

“But,” I began, “what I’m dealing with is so stupid and you-”

“And I’m never too busy to take care of you just like I trust in you always being there when I really need you. And nothing that makes you cry is stupid to me.”

Harry smiled kindly and I could feel myself doing the same. Gently I reached up to cup his cheek and a tiny gasp escaped my mouth before his lips found mine in a loving kiss. Instantly I melted into him. 
His hands held me close, my own scratched his cheek while the other held onto his hair and for the first time all week I felt like I could truly breath. Harry’s presence took over all of my senses as I cuddled myself even more into his embrace. We continued to kiss until my lungs burned and this time when I teared up it was because my heart couldn’t hold the amount of happiness. 

“Why are you like this?” I whispered, staring at my handsome boyfriend with wonder in my eyes. 

He smiled and pressed another kiss to my temple. “Because you’re important to me. I need you to know that, love.”

“I do. Thank you so much, Harry. And I care about you, too. So much.”

Another kiss followed to my lips before Harry drew back to rub his nose against mine in a heartbreakingly sweet gesture. 

Hope you liked this! Wrote it in one go so apologizes for any mistakes. Also, if any of you are dealing with something shitty at the moment I have my fingers crossed for you and know you’ll be alright. x

The rest of my writing: 
Masterlist

Alright, so now I’ll get into a bit of detail with what was happening while making these gifs (and don’t worry, I’m fine. Sometimes it’s just fun to talk about what was happening when you acted something out, y’know?) 

1: ACTING: Okay, this day I had a really hard time getting ANY tears whatsoever. I was dry as a bone. So I ended up using eyedrops for this. *sighs*

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I Broke Down Tonight

So tonight something very strange happened. Something that has never happened to me before. I had a panic attack. My day was going normally and I was at work. 10 minutes before my shift, I started to feel a little bit weird. I was uncomfortable. I felt disconnected from the world around me. My hands started shaking and I started shivering and twitching. I clocked out at work and quickly went downstairs and just sat there, thinking about a ton of things all at once. Next thing I knew, I was outside on the sidewalk with two of my co workers beside me trying to calm me down. I was curled up in a ball, breathing heavily with tears running down my face. At first, I couldn’t pin point why this was happening. But then it hit me. Lately, I had been thinking a lot about some people from the start of my channel. People that used to support every video I did and would always interact with me. Flashes of these people flew into my memory. These people were people who I talked to on a regular basis and people I was getting to know fairly well. One of them in particular (who will go nameless) messaged me first because of my videos. She had said that she was very very depressed and cut herself on a regular basis, And at one point had contemplated suicide. At the time, I was making videos on a very regular basis. She said that my videos brought her so much joy and put a smile on her face. My videos were the reason that she had stopped cutting. Months went by and my videos got more and more infrequent. And then I never heard from that girl again. Then, a few months after, I found out that the amazing, strong, and wonderful girl who had sent me those messages months before, had ended her own life. This hit me harder than ever tonight. After conjuring up this memory of her in my mind, I just couldn’t pull myself together. I was crying as my dad held me in his arms asking me what was wrong. And for the first time, I was completely honest with him. I told him that I don’t want to go to college. I told him how much I absolutely adore YouTube, and I told him how incredibly terrified I am of not reaching my dreams as a yputuber. At first, he didn’t understand. He thought my dream was to get famous and be able to make a lot of money. But then I explained my real dream to him. My dream as a YouTuber is to make as many people as I can happy. I want to be there for you all every single day and bring a smile to your faces. I want to make you laugh when you feel like crying. I want to make you smile when you feel like breaking down. I want to make you happy even when you are at your lowest. The thought of that amazing girl ending her own life crushed me. I almost felt responsible for her death. I wish that I had done more. I wish that I had talked to her more. I wish that I could have made more videos for when she felt down. I don’t just want to entertain people. I want to give them hope. I want to make people smile and I want to show people that they truly matter. I don’t do YouTube because I want to get famous. I do YouTube because I want to make people’s lives better. I do it because I want to inspire people and make them feel happy on their saddest days. I do YouTube because I don’t want anyone to feel alone. I want to be there for you guys. I want to be the person you can look to when you are at your lowest and I want to help you in your time of need. I cannot even begin to examine how absolutely in love with YouTube I am. I love it more than anything. I can’t live without it and for this next year, I am going to try as hard as I can to make my dreams come true and I will not stop until it does. You all mean the world to me. I wouldn’t be the happy person I am today without you. Thank you all so much for all of your amazing support. Your comments and tweets and edits and fanarts and everything you do makes me so happy. I love you guys so much. Thank you. Let’s make this year amazing and let’s grow this community into something incredible. A community where everyone respects each other and helps each other out. A community where everyone is close and friendly. A community where no one will ever feel alone. I know we can do this. I love you all so much.

You Will Never Not Matter

Dating Jerome Valeska would include:

Originally posted by untitledtv

Requested by Anon.

Request: Can you do a headcannon of what dating Jerome Valeska would be like?

Warning: Dating Jerome from the beginning to the end fucking hurts.

A/N: I kind of included his previous ‘life’ too. I couldn’t stop myself, so this turned out to be more than just dating headcanons. 

Jerome’s kinda an ass, but I love assholes so…


Before Jerome murders his mother:

  • Because your parents are acrobats they decide to travel with the circus, where you meet Jerome.
    • You’re both nine at the time. 
  • You becoming friends very fast.
    • Him being very funny and carefree. 
    • Him making you laugh when you’re sad.
    • Him doing mischief. 
  • Your parents loving the cute little red head.
  • Jerome telling you about his mother and the beatings.
    • Him crying a lot and you comforting him with cuddles and ice cream. 
  • Him sleeping over at yours when he can’t stand his mother anymore. 
    • Your parents confronting Lila Valeska, and Lila beating up Jerome more often after that.
  • Him having a crush on you since forever.


  • Him asking you out on a date when you’re both 15.
    • You being excited because you’ve been crushing on him for a very long time.
    • You both watching a movie in his trailer when his mother isn’t around for the weekend.
    • Cuddling.
  • Jerome kissing you sweetly but clumsily after the second date.
    • It was your and his very first kiss.
  • Holding hands most of the time. 
  • Going on more dates.
    • Jerome being a gentleman and super sweet around you.
  • Your mother giving you ‘The Talk’, while your father talks with Jerome.
  • Cuddling and caressing your half-naked bodies when no one’s around.
    • Almost getting caught by your mother. 
  • You giving him his first blowjob behind his trailer when you’re 16.
    • You spitting it out, and Jerome laughing his ass off when he sees your facial expression.
  • Him eating you out / sucking you off in your trailer, with your parents being in the next room.
    • Them totally hearing it, but saying no word, and smilling knowingly at you when you get some food after your session.   
  • Awkward but sweet First Time on his 17th birthday. 
    • Him being super nervous but very careful and tender with you.
    • Lots of kissing and laughing.
    • Doing so many things awkwardly that you’re having more fun than you intended to have.


  • Getting your own trailer with Jerome on the other side of the circus.
  • Having lots of sex.
    • Jerome being very eager to try out new things.
    • Him being very dominant. 
    • Rough sex. 
      • Being loud.
      • Being on top of you.
      • Your neighboors knocking on your trailer.
  • Passionate and wild kisses.
  • You noticing he’s slowly changing.


After Jerome murders his mother: 

  • You crying and not believing when you find out he murdered his mother.
  • Him sending you letters from Arkham and apologizing for not being with you.
    • You ignoring them at first.
  • You visiting him after turning 18.
    • “[Y/N], you came…”
    • “Of course I came, Jerome. Honestly, I don’t know what to say. You killed your mother… Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see Jerome, the boy I fell in love with… and a murderer.” 
    • “She deserved it! You know what she’s done to me.”
    • “I know and I understand.”
    • “Are you afraid?”
    • “Do you want me to be afraid of you?” 
    • “No…One day I’ll be free, gorgeous, I promise.”
    • His laugh creeping you out in the beginning. 
  • You visiting him every now and then, trying to figure out how to let him go.
    • You realizing you love him.
    • You slowly accepting that he killed his mother, 


  • Him suddenly knocking on your door after Theo breaks him out. 
    • “Jerome…. what are you doing here?” 
    • “I told you I’ll be back, gorgeous.” 
  • Him grinning and giving you flowers and chocolate. 
    • He stole them.
  • Him behaving very strangely.
    • Hearing the next day in the news about the Maniax. 
  • Having a fight with Jerome about his doings. 
    • You being afraid at first.
    • Him assuring you that he’d never hurt you.#
    • Him telling you about Theo. 
  • Him visiting you at night, when he thinks it’s safe.
  • Having rough sex.
    • Him being rougher and more dominant than he used to be.
    • Being super kinky.
    • Him trying to convince you to try out anal sex. 
  • Jerome kissing you sweetly when he wants something. 
  • Him slapping you when you’re being ‘overdramatic’.
    • You slapping him back and throwing him out. 
    • Him threatening you, you crying.
    • You almost calling the cops but you can’t because you love Jerome too much. 
    • Angry make-up fucking. 


  • Him dying and you feeling as if someone ripped out your heart.
    • Him coming back to life, crazier than usual.
    • You fainting. 


(Requests for Imagines and Headcanons are open.) 

Dating Teamiplier Would Include:

-Mark-


•Started off as friends

•Then it grew into something more

•Chica loves you more than him

•Mark pouts about it all day

•You never really get into arguments because you both always talk things out

•But if one of you are really mad you’d give them their space to cool off

•Forehead kisses

•Nose kisses

•Cheek kisses

•N e C k K i S s e S

•Mark and Ethan teasing you if you’re shorter them

•Them Tyler comes out of nowhere and sets you on his shoulder


•"Who’s the short one now bitches"

•Being apart of teamiplier

•You, Amy, and Kathryn being squad goals

•Little to no PDA in public, on live streams, or vlogs

•Because you both don’t feel about going public yet and want it more private

•The fandom finds out anyway because they noticed Mark looking at you a lot and smiling to himself on a live stream

•Tons of fan-art after

•Some of the fans hate you because of Septiplier


•You don’t give a crap because you love Mark & you knew what you were getting into when.


•Him loving you so much


~Tyler~


•TYLER IS SUCH A GENTLEMAN AT FIRST

•Opens the door for you

•Gives you his coat when you’re cold

•5 MONTHS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

•"Tyler I’m cold"

“I told you to get a coat. ”

“Give me yours.”

“Nope. ”

•But he gives it to you anyway

•Dick jokes

•Lots of inside joke

•Taking care of him when he’s sick

•Being super close with Ethan and Mark

•Editing with Kathryn

•Making fun of Tyler because you learned how to edit faster than him


•Him calling you short


•But he loves it


•Always asking him to get something from the top shelf


•Top of the head kisses


•Forehead kisses

•Staring at his muscles because Jesus Christ the man was sculpted by the gods


•Him catching you looking so he flexes

•Just a really cute couple

•PIGGYBACK RIDES CAUSE HE’S SO TALL


*Ethan*

•"Hating" pineapple pizza

•LOTR references


•"Frobo..“

“Sam.. ”


•Him playing the ukulele for you


•Asking him to do a backflip because you think it’s so cool

•And it’s pretty hot


•Very hot


•Being best friends with Brian and Gordon.


•Playing Mariokart


•Lots of screaming and cussing


•"Did you JUST FUCKING BLUE SHELL ME YOU OFF BRAND JACKSEPTICEYE!“

“I love you. ”


•Ethan is such a huggy bastard


•He NEEDS to have some part of him touching you

•You’re editing, his leg is on top of yours


•You’re cooking, he wraps his arms around your waist to see what you’re making


•Prepping for a trip? He hugs you for an hour begging you to stay


•Going To IndyPopCon, PaxEast and PaxWest together


•The Cranky Crew LOVING YOU


•Because they have never seen their blue Bean so happy


•Shit loads of fanart


•"What is up my Cranky Crew”

“wHaT iS uP mY cRaNkY cReW”

“You’re not saying it right (Y/n)!”


•Ethan is a giggly bean


•Wearing his merch


•Double dates with Gordon and Maya


•Being such a cute couple


•Mark jokes around calling Ethan ‘whipped’


•He is


•He would sacrifice himself for you


•Star Wars jokes

•Corny puns


•Dick jokes


“WHERE ARE YOUUU. ”

[K A T H R Y N]

•Calling her a queen because she is


•Helping her and Ethan edit so they won’t overwork themself

•You constantly calling her pretty because she is

•Playing Ultimate Chicken Horse

•Lots of hugs


•So many references

•Cleaning up Marzipans shit because it’s literally everywhere

•Goddamn cat from satan

•You still love Marzipan though


•Learning how to edit rather quickly because Kathryn showed you the basics


•not that much pda mostly when it’s just you both by yourselves


• Subtle dick jokes

•Hugs

•H O L D I N G H A N D S

•C U D D L I N G

•C H E E K K I S S E S


•Amy shipped you guys before you even got together


•Hanging out with Amy because she’s cool as balls


•Questioning why she’s dating Mark


•"It’s that you’re so cool. How are you with HIM. “-(Y/n)

“HEY. ”-M

“I don’t know myself. ”-A

“IM RIGHT HERE. ” -M

“I stayed for Chica. ”-A

“AMY!!”-M


•Shipping Amyplier so much, because THEIR SO CUTE


•"AW DID U KISS HER CHEEK”

“SHUT UP (Y/N).”

「 A M Y 」


•You love her so much

•Calling her Sunshine because she literally is the embodiment of sunshine.


•Talking about Alien Conspiracies


•Making her coffee


•Going shopping a lot


•Her playing the accordion


•"I know its bad I’m sorry. “-A

“You’re so adorable.”

•whenever you go somewhere you bring her souvenirs


•Surprising her by showing up to the You’re Welcome tour because you couldn’t go

•Her almost crying

•ASKING HOW HER EYELINER LOOKS SO PERFECT ALL THE TIME


•Lots of hugs


•And kisses


•Braiding her hair


•when you see her guess what video on her channel you almost die from how cute she is.


•She’s adorable


•Calling her Beautiful


•If you’re depression or anxiety gets bad she’s always there to make you smile


•Buying her stuff but she complains because she doesn’t like being spoiled


•Dog sitting Chica while they are on tour

•She’s such a good pup


•Going to sleep at 1 in the morning because you were scrolling through Pinterest for memes

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
How I Overcame Reader’s Block (And So Can You!)

As a kid, I adored reading.  Okay, more specifically, I enjoyed reading about dragons, but that’s not the issue here.  

It frequently coincided with my equally as intense love of climbing trees, and some of my fondest memories involve being perched in a small tree and reading some hopelessly goofy, dragon-related literature while my mom and toddler siblings used the playground equipment.  If no climbable trees were available, I’d settle for reading under one and drinking a thermos of chocolate milk while they ran around in the park. 

As I got older, my tastes got a little more eclectic as I encountered Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Anne Shirley, the residents of Narnia and Middle Earth, respectively, and much to my mother’s horror, Stephen King, but my passion remained more or less the same.    

Bottom line is, I loved reading.  It was my paramount joy, my primary source of entertainment, and I didn’t think that would ever change.

So imagine my shock when, around my sophomore year of college at the age of seventeen, it occurred to me that I hadn’t really read for pleasure since I discovered the Hunger Games a year or two prior.  Moreover, and equally as horrifically, when I tried to read I found I couldn’t focus;  regardless of the quality of the story and how much I wanted to read it, the investment was gone.

Whether this was due to my first stint with organized education (prior to college, I was homeschooled) or the fact that I’d grown accustomed to the bite-sized chunks of candy-flavored, insubstantial information served up by the internet, the sad and simple fact was that I had fallen out of love with reading, and it looked like it was going to stay that way forever.   

Well, flash forward two-point-five years to Present-Day Brooksie, and since school got out in early May, I’ve read Chuck Palahniuk’s Make Something Up: Stories You Can’t Unread, Ruth Ware’s In a Dark, Dark Wood, Emma Straub’s The Vacationers, Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book, and Celeste Ng’s Everything I Never Told You.  Despite the disappointing lack of dragons, I loved all of them.    

I drink books like nectar again, if you’ll pardon the floral language, and everything from the quality of my writing to the quality of my life has improved as a result of it.  

So how did I fall back in love with reading?  Well, I’ve spent a lot of time pontificating on this, and as far as I can tell, it can be narrowed down to three factors:

1.  Reading every day.

It started with lunch.  Every day, when I’d sit down at my university cafe, I used to get out my laptop and watch YouTube or whatnot while I ate my sandwich – a cool idea in theory, but really sort of gross whenever I rubbed my greasy fingers on the mouse and keyboard. 

When I made a conscious decision to read more, I began taking out my book and reading during the lunch period instead.  It didn’t come naturally at first – I was easily distracted and kept zoning out – but I ultimately found it very pleasant, especially when I listened to some classical music in the background as well (nice for atmosphere, and for drowning out noise and distractions.)  

I kept doing it.  

When that summer rolled around, I rediscovered an amazing little outdoor cafe by the harbor.  It had no wifi, which for my purposes, was absolutely perfect.

I went there to read Good Omens and eat home baked lemon squares, pie, and banana bread, listening to international tourists speak in other languages, and watch the boats go by.  It was a beautiful environment, and that (coupled with the fact that Good Omens is just really fucking awesome) made it easier than ever for me to want to stay longer and become more engrossed in what I was reading.

Afterwards, I’d take out my notebook and work on my own stories and journal.  Overall, I’d say that summer was one of the most intellectually productive I’ve had.  

Once school started again, it got a little harder to read every day, but by then my love of reading had pretty much caught:  it had become an intellectual drug for me again, a source of comfort, pleasure, and inspiration.  Also, it was another viable excuse to procrastinate on my academic responsibilities, which was always welcome.  So I kept reading.  It was still a relatively slow process, as I had to work around my already busy schedule, but the more I read the more adept I became at drinking in the information in hungry, satisfying gulps (a bit more suggestive than I’d initially intended that metaphor to be, but I’m going to go with it.)

But this isn’t to say that there were no bumps in the road back to bibliophilia.  There was another factor that I had to grasp before I reached the point where I could unabashedly adore reading once again.

Which is: 

2.  Reading what excites me.

No, I’m not speaking sexually, you pervert.  I’m talking about books I actually want to read.  

When I first started trying to get back into literature, I started trying to read the classics exclusively, like Around the World in Eighty Days and Little Women.  Let me be clear, these books are amazing (excluding the jarring amounts of racism and endorsements of British colonialism in the former) but after semesters of reading similar works for my literature seminars, they just felt a little like…academia.  

In fact, the only reason I was insistent on reading classics exclusively, I now realize, was because I was a pretentious, pseudo intellectual little shit back in those days with a horrible case of impostor syndrome.  What I needed to re-learn was what dragon-loving, Ten-Year-Old Brooksie long since already knew: the best way to enjoy reading is to read what you actually enjoy.

It was a lesson I slowly but surely remastered, and it took me a while to realize that modern literature is teaming with smart, enriching reads, like Life of Pi, American Gods, Where’d You Go Bernadette, The Twelve Tribes of Hattie, The Help, Everything I Never Told You, and countless others.  

Moreover, these were books I didn’t have to force myself to read;  they were books I found myself reading at four AM because I didn’t want to stop.  

I’ve also discovered classics that I can eat up in a matter of days, like A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Which absolutely everyone should read, by the way:  Francie Nolan is a feminist icon, and way, way ahead of her time, not to mention it’s fucking hilarious and will make you cry like a little bitch), Jane Eyre, and basically anything written by Jane Austen.  I love these books for their sharp wit, applicable and timeless life observations, and striking lack of the pretentiousness that I’d come to associate with a lot of classic literature.

This summer, I my reading list includes Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5, Douglas Adams’ The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, Louis Sachar’s Holes, Anthony Doerr’s All the Light We Cannot See, and Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys.  I’m looking forward to reading each and every one of them. 

Ultimately, the point I’m trying to make here is that there’s no joy to be found in pretentiousness:  don’t read to prove yourself as an intellectual.  Read to enrich your soul, read what you legitimately enjoy, and read what inspires you.  

Which brings me to my next and final point…   

3.  Reading what inspires me.

This one might be true specifically for my fellow authors, but since I know a large portion of my followers are fellow authors, I think it’s applicable here.  

Ever since I was an infinitesimally small child, I’ve wanted to write stories.  When I was fourteen I wrote a hopelessly angsty YA novel about a half-dragon girl named Freedom and her misadventures with an ambiguously lesbian vampire and werewolf duo, a seductive and ambiguously bisexual elf (it was a time of self discovery for me), and a talking lion.  When I was eleven, I wrote a middle grade novel about a little boy who befriends a dragon.  When I was four, I wrote *ahem!* drew wordless stories about a winged wolf-creature named Starlight and his (in retrospect, overtly gory) battles with monsters.

It was bizarre, cringey, and I’m not gonna lie, pretty fucking awesome.  

Around the time I started college at around sixteen, I’d just decided I wanted to start writing again.  I had lots of ideas, and I remember in detail getting yelled at by my manager for scribbling in my notebook behind the counter instead of dutifully smiling at customers the way I was supposed to.  

But my writing was…well, to put it bluntly, it was really, really bad.  It only began to improve when I resolved to write every day.  It noticeably and drastically began to improve when I began to read works that I found creatively inspiring. 

While I was revising my manuscript, I read a lot of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, both masters of the kind of urban fantasy I was attempting to write,  and spent a lot of time figuring out what I loved most about their writing and how to best apply it.  This was also around the time I began reading Douglas Adams, which was, let me tell you, a magical experience.  It involved a lot of delighted gasping on my end and thinking you’re allowed to do that?

It really showed me what the barriers were for creative writing, or in this case, total lack thereof.

I think I owe these writers a lot for helping me to create several novel-length manuscripts I’m incredibly proud of, and one that I’m currently preparing to get published.


So in closing, for anyone suffering from reader’s block, feel free to try my approach:  read every day, read what you love and not to stoke your ego, and for my writer peeps, read what inspires you.

Either way, my books and I are enjoying a passionate long-term relationship, and every day I find myself loving them more.

Laconic (Kuroo Tetsurō)

Originally posted by shouyou-sunshine

Summary: In a world where everyone’s first words to their soulmate are tattooed on their soulmate’s forearm, you are cursed with the vaguest, most simplistic tattoo in history. And you hate the word “hey.”

Genre: Fluff + Soulmate!au

A/N: This is my first fic for an anime and I’m not even an anime blog (whoops lmao) but I saw @lazyhaikyuu’s post and I just couldn’t help myself!! Enjoy the 2.8K words :)

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Goddess - Jay Park

Originally posted by andupinda

Request from @belushtful : Can I request a jay park smut scenario where his mixed(black and white) girlfriend is missing him while she is at home and he is at Aomg making music so later that night they you know. Also the girlfriend is teasing him

Genre: cotton candy fluff smut

Pairing: Jay Park x Reader

Word Count: 1547

Contains: romantic smut, (slight) daddy! Jay, fluff

Song: Ride Me - Jay Park

Comments: this turned way cuter than I meant it to be, but I hope you like it because I’m crying at this. Also im sorry if it gets choppy, i was writing this and watching teen mom at the same time, so my attention was going back and forth lmao.

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Headcanon: While at Stanford, before meeting Jess, Sam wrote a long list of places - bars, clubs, burger joints, and even one library - that he knew Dean would love. He left the list in the middle of his cork board for the entirety of his freshman and sophomore years at college, hoping that Dean would show up, making his efforts worth something. Dean never did.

This City Never Sleeps (When I Can’t Stop Thinking About You)

Word Count: 1794

Pairing: Eventual Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cavity-inducing fluff and cursing

Summary: Part Three of This City Never Sleeps. Your friends are nosy.

Tags: @seargantbcky@darlin-you-bitch@emily-ily2@rosep16@comics-and-stuff@t4rt-deco@octopishisahybridanimal@slythergirlimagines​  @philipshaaayyyy @catwoman2502 @minimalistxx @sophiatomlinson23@johnsonxstilinski @raindancer2004 @vanessly @newyorkrebel @letstrysomefanfic @half-superhero


“Wow, she is just…” Peter let out a deep sigh.

“I know,” Ned agreed.

You looked up from your textbook to see them staring wistfully across the room, chins in hand. You followed their line of sight until you landed on Liz Allan, laughing with a couple of her friends across the room.

Just another Wednesday.

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You went after me despite the fact my dad hated you.
I remember how your embrace felt like going home.
But years after….everything changed.

“I love you.”
You used to tell me this every day.
Yet you never showed it.
Like a broken record.
Maybe it was me.
Maybe it was you.
Maybe I just assumed you were telling the truth.

“I love you"is kinda overused.
Like the time you said I was the only one.
But you had another girl thinking she was the only one too.
Or the time you said “I love you” but after that you would constantly make me cry.

Honestly I loved you a lot.
Like genuinely.
But I guess it was only my heart telling the truth.
You loved the worst parts of me.
And I did love you that way too.
But I had to let you go.

Sometimes we pretend we don’t see the truth in order to drown out the hurt.
We assume the hurt is okay because we’ll rather feel this way than lose each other.
But I’m sorry.
Loving you made me unlove myself.

I want to forget you.
I want to rip you off the page of my book.
There will always be a gap in between chapters.
But hey at least you’re no longer in it.

—  The Beauty of Goodbye // Conee Berdera